#Star Girl and the Illusion Paradise

[vocaloid-song-of-the-day]

AI Girl and The Deep Heart Sea by cosMo@bousouP feat. Kagamine Rin, Megurine Luka, Camui Gackpo, Hatsune Miku, GUMI, and Kagamine Len

[vsynthbday]

happy anniversary to "Dr. Realist" (Dr. リアリスト) by cosMo@bousouP & GAiA! this song came out 13 years ago today.

art by cosMo@bousouP | youtube upload | august 24th, 2024.

[Image description: A screenshot from the official music video for "Dr. Realist". It features characters from the Star Girl and The Illusion Paradise Series, Rho & Lambda, sitting on a wall, holding books in their hands, and looking at the camera. Behind the wall is another character, Dr. Realist, looking at the camera. The background is an old blueprint of a machine of sorts. In the bottom left corner, there's a dark purple and light blue logo which features both the english and the japanese title of the song, as well as the producer name and voicebank used. End image description.]

[peach-sea]

Cringetober Day 3. Oversized Prop

(psst, if you haven't seen the Star Girl and The Illusion Paradise series, you should check it out!)

[hex-mania-animatics]

Star Girl and the Illusion Paradise cover playlist wooo

[ohkkotsuu]

𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓. maki zenin

ৎ୭ PAIRING: maki zenin x f!reader (she/her pronouns, afab anatomy)

ৎ୭ ABOUT: having maki as a girlfriend is to be treated like a spoiled princess! nothing but the best for her favorite girl.

ৎ୭ CW/TW: SFW. no-curses au, maki is kind of despised by the zenin clan but she still has A LOT of money, this is like a sugar mommy fantasy im not gonna lie but with TONS of affection and no sex. reader is the daughter of a lesser family. everyone is around 21-26. reader is not exactly a bimbo, but i wrote that thinking about a bimbo-way of acting. this is kinda of nonsensey?

ৎ୭ A/N: english is not my first language and I wanted to write about Maki buying stuff to her gf. this is my first time posting anything I write, im sorry!! i hope you like it.

MAKI is used to disobeying zenin clan's orders. she owes them nothing, and never will. despite her insistence on breaking the rules, they refuse to let her out of the gilded cage that is this family. so she makes things difficult for them.

she thought things couldn't really get good. that even with her eternal struggle, she would still be forever subjected to a putrid rockbottom with no escape. no light, no guiding star. there's when you show up.

the first time she sees you is at a diamond viewing party. of course, a jewel auction for the three clans to squander their wealth, but also for the heirs — the real diamonds — to come forward and form bonds. if not for the arranged marriage, then for the fun and drinking. the illusion of choice gleaming in the eyes of those naive ones makes maki's stomach turn.

most heirs are annoying. she has no idea where mai is (and frankly, she couldn't care less), the youngest boy of the kamo clan is being annoying. everyone is completely stressing her out, not realizing it's all lambs heading to the slaughter. in their lives there is no real life or joy. they will enjoy their families' dirty money, but they won't be happy. everyone is pretending everything is fine, and it's getting on maki's nerves.

so, she grabs a glass of champagne from a waiter's tray and leaves the party, her feet leading her to the most secluded place in the house: the garden. only issue is, you had the same idea. sitting on an elegant bench and surrounded by flowers, there's you. it looks like a damn movie scene, she thinks when her heart skips a bit. you don't seem willing to put on a mask to please your family either, if you're sitting on a cold night alone in an elegant garden.

she can see you're trying not to shiver, but the sleeveless dress they've chosen doesn't help against the biting cold. at least the zenin gave her a white (fake) fur coat courtesy. then she walks over, takes the fur off her shoulders and puts it on yours. you look up at her, frowning. you look cute when you frown, she thinks.

“you're going to freeze to death here. keep the coat, I don't need it.” she says simply, sitting beside you without asking. but she didn't need to ask. you were happy.

maki took a sip of champagne, and you took a moment to study her. the black dress hugged her curves and showed off her muscles well. she had an aura of confidence, her hair shorter than most women's. it looked like she'd been through hell and come out stronger. though, you thought, not even Dante could have written such a beautiful, angelic figure.

“so, i'm Maki.” she introduces herself with a smile. you smile back at her. “and you are?”

and that's how it started — the gateway to her paradise.

maki hangs up the phone without a second thought. she doesn't care which idiot wants to marry her. she has everything she needs right here, now, in front of her. she wants to focus on that. you're in an expensive mall coffee shop, finishing your orders when she gets the call. another marriage proposal, another refusal.

“Maki?” your soft voice pull her out of her thoughts. it's like being called by an angel. because that's what you are. her angel. “are you alright?”

“yes, darling, don't worry.” she gives you a reassuring smile and moves her hand to rest over yours on the table. it makes you smile and one day, she swears she's going to combust over your smile. it is the most important smile of her life, the smile she will protect without hesitation. “is the coffee good, angel?”

the petname makes you flustered. you nod, sipping on the coffee. it's the kind of stupidly expensive store, even for a coffee shop. the seats are comfortable and the food is simply delicious. your girlfriend loves to spoil you, after all.

“yes! it's so nice.”

“perfect, dear. do you wanna go to that clothing store after you're done with your food?”

maki can go a little overboard sometimes, but spending money on your favorite things is her way of her showing love. gift giving. moreover, it's an excuse for her to see you trying on nice clothes, feeling good, turning around to show her the extent of the fabric. to her eyes and her eyes only.

the store is so fancy, and has every kind of dress, and it's perfect. she totally let go of her schedule, because no matter how many boring meetings the zenin want her to lead — sitting on a comfortable fancy sofa and watching you twirl in cute dresses is a much better way of spending her time.

“Maki, look! this one is so pretty!” the dress you show her, your favorite color, is amazing on you.

maki is sprawled out in the elegant sofa with light-tone pillows. the whole appearance of the store makes her much more evident, the dark green hair and the black and white laid-back suit make her look powerful. but that's the fun in your dynamic: she's the resting bitch face girlfriend, and you're the one in a cute dress, spending her money like it was your own. because is. all of her is yours.

“yeah. it is.” she smiles softly, raising one of her arms and moving her index finger to call you. “babe, come here. you like this one, right?”

you nod, coming closer. god, you're so pretty, she can't help but think.

her heart is yours, completely in love with all the ways you act. her soul is intertwined with yours, fate decided to bring you together permanently, that's the feeling she has. she is absolutely and completely lost when it comes to you — no one can take her love like you do. and nobody can love her like you do.

maki holds the hem of the dress, feeling the fabric between her hands. she meticulously evaluates, but her biggest focus is on your smile, your happiness — and of course, the dress actually looks great on you. it's a perfect win-win: you look comfortable and pretty.

“so let's take this one too and a couple others. pick whatever you want.” she moves her head to look for an employee. next to your girlfriend, on the same sofa, there is already a pile of dresses of your size. “excuse me, my girlfriend wants to see more dresses like this.”

she says the title with possession, smirking. she grabs one of your hands and bring it close to her mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“anything else you like, angel? buy anything you want. we'll be using my card.”

anything for her favorite girl.

©OHKKOTSUU on tumblr.

[lillieghoul]

NejiHina Week 2024

Into the Nothing

Prompt: Folklore AU

The dream enveloped him swiftly, a soothing tide pulling him away from pain and exhaustion.

It was warm and silken, like stepping into a realm untouched by sorrow. The ache in his chest, the screaming protests of his body - gone. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, he felt… at peace.

He found himself in a strange land, both alien and achingly familiar. The air was crisp, carrying a faint scent of blossoms, and the sky stretched above him, a deep, endless blue punctuated by soft, glowing stars. The ground beneath his feet shimmered with a pale, silvery light, like moonlit water frozen in time.

He opened his eyes, and he could see.

And then, he saw her.

Hinata stood a few paces away, and her figure appeared to be glowing. She wasn't the quiet, timid girl he remembered, nor the resolute woman who had stood on the battlefield.

This Hinata radiated serenity and warmth, her smile soft and genuine, and it pierced through him in a way that left his heart both aching and full.

She stepped closer, her movements graceful, as if the world bent to her presence.

"Dear," she said softly, her voice tender and sweet, like a melody carried on the wind. "Come, let's walk."

The word struck him like lightning.

Dear. Not "brother." Not "Neji-nii."

It wasn't the address of a cousin or a comrade. It was something else. Something he had never dared to hope for in life.

Wordlessly, he took her hand. Her touch was warm, grounding, and yet it felt as if they were floating together in a realm beyond the reach of fate.

As they walked, hand in hand, he began to recognize this place, not in detail, but in essence.

This was a scene from Hyūga folklore, a tale told in hushed tones among the elders.

Generations ago, it was said, the Hyūga had lived alongside celestial beings, the people of the moon.

In those stories, the Hyūga were unbound by the rigid traditions and duties that now defined their lives.

There were no divisions between the main house and the branch house. They were free to choose, free to love, free to live unshackled by destiny.

Here, in this dream, he too was free.

Hinata was not just his cousin, not a figure he was duty-bound to protect. She was his partner, his equal, his wife.

Not by any arrangement - as their clan often made - but by choice.

They laughed together as they walked, their hearts unburdened.

For the first time, Neji understood what it meant to live without the weight of destiny pressing down on his shoulders. It was intoxicating, this freedom, this life where he could simply exist, unmarked by the scars of the past.

To feel the love of the only woman he had ever desired in his life. A woman who had eyes only on him.

A woman he had never hated, never tried to kill.

But as the dream deepened, a flicker of unease stirred in the recesses of his mind.

This world was too perfect, too seamless.

The silvery light, the endless harmony - it was all impossibly ideal, like a painting that dared not include a single flaw.

Wait. He had seen this painting in the Main House.

His heart tightened as understanding dawned. This was the Infinite Tsukuyomi.

The cruel genjutsu spun by the moon's light, offering each soul their deepest desire while trapping them in an endless illusion.

Even as he walked beside her, even as her laughter rang like music in his ears, it wasn't real.

Was this truly freedom? Or was it the cruelest illusion of all?

He glanced at Hinata again, her radiant smile lighting the world around them.

Could he let himself believe, just for a moment, that this dream was real? Or was this a glimpse of something he could never have, a fleeting taste of a fragile paradise.

Of happiness denied to him by fate before it snatched him cruelly away?

He wanted to. Oh, he badly wanted to.

Read the full story!

Story: Into The Nothing

✨ Fanfiction.net ✨ Ao3. ✨

@nejihinata

[wholelottatransbians]

This is my sideblog for Queens Dressed in White content, as well as assorted BNHA thoughts.

I'm a trans woman writing fictional trans girls. Long time superhero fan, and had recently gotten back into BNHA.

Link to my AO3 page here.

AUs/Fics you can ask about under the cut:

Queens Dressed in White: Midoriya is a student as Seiai, along with several other girls in her age group. (Trans girl)

For Love And Justice: Midoriya can turn people into Magical Girls. (Trans egg)

Lady of Illusions: Midoriya has a Quirk based in stage magic, with a slight touch of reality warping. (Girl)

Bun for All: 1-B Midoriya with a Lagomorph Quirk. Also One for All. And a large polycule. Based partly in Deus' "Feral Fluffle" and "Cousin Rumi" AU's. (Girl)

How Monoma Neito (Accidentally) Saved Japan: In a blind panic, Monoma accidentally stole All for One, and the massive collection of Quirks within it, before joining UA. His only goal with them is to make 1-B the greatest class in UA's history.

Generation Zero: An X-Men inspired AU, where Quirked people are the minority and are actively mistreated by those without Quirks.

The Forgotten Goddess: Inspired by Deus' Divinity AU. Yaoyorozu is a long forgotten goddess of creation, and Midoriya is her loyal High Priestess.

Shooting Stars: A TTK wielding Midoriya had moved away back during Elementary School, and has no memories of Bakugou Katsuki.

Brand New Hero: An unethical MLA expreiment gives Midoriya shapeshifting powers akin to Kagemori Michiru from BNA.

Midnight Mass: Midoriya has the power to enter and manipulate dreams.

Rabbit Trick: With a touch Midoriya can turn you into a rabbit.

Bakugou Kasumi: Bakugou has a twin sister who is different from him in every way.

Daughter of Paradise: Themyscira native Midoriya Satomi.

Start a Revolution: Generator Rex crossover AU.

Hero Time: Ben 10 crossover AU.

Spiderbite: Melissa Shield with Spider powers.

Orchard Hero: Decent person Female Mineta.

Emerald Flames: Female Midoriya with a dragon Quirk.

Slipstream: Midoriya with Float, named after her grandmother.

Spellcrafter: Witch Midoriya.

Green Valley Chat: Multi AU crossover, any previous AU is able to interact with any other.

[vocaloidsongtournament]

Vocaloid Song Poll Just For Fun #129

Both of these songs are not only by cosMo@bousou-P, but feature characters in "The Fantastic Garden" series and the "Star Girl and the Illusion Paradise" series: ANTI THE∞HOLiC vs. Dr. Realist

Please reblog for a bigger sample size!

[raventheenigma]

Ranwan Playlist

Here’s my mainly Ranwan playlist, it started as a Chu Wanning playlist I built while I was reading; but it became a Ranwan playlist as I kept reading. So I hope you enjoy and I hope it inspires. All of these songs can be found on spotify. Song Count: 184 Estimated Time: 12 Hours Trapdoor-Twenty One Pilots Weight of the World-Citizen Soldier Would Anyone Care-Citizen Soldier I’m not okay-Citizen Soldier Always December-Citizen Soldier Empty Cup-Citizen Soldier Better Place-Citizen Soldier Kill my memory-Citizen Soldier Mess of Me-Citizen Soldier If these scars could speak-Citizen Soldier Face to Face-Citizen Soldier Phoenix-League of Legends, Cailin Russo, Chrissy Costanza Life Vest-The Material Lil’ Red Riding Hood-Amanda Seyfried I’m not an angel-Halestrom Elastic Heart (Rock Version)-Written by Wolves Someone you used to know-The Dark Element, Anette Olzon, Jani Liimatainen The Way Down-The White Tie Affair Trench Coat Angel (Accoustic)-Tyler Ward Walk You Home-Karmina Your Light-Will Morton, Julie Wemyss At War-Letters from the fire Last Goodbye-Dead by April Unbreakable-Citizen Soldier That’s no way to break a heart-Sherrie Austin Ten Million Voices-Shaman’s Harvest It’s Over when it’s over-Falling in Reverse Last night on earth-Delta Goodrem A dangerous mind-Within Temptation Only you-Ellie Goulding You’re my melody-Arion Marionette (Radio Edit)-Antonia Oblivion-Enemy Inside False Kings-Poets of the fall Sally’s Song-Amy Lee Ophelia-Natalie Merchant Bitter-Citizen Soldier Hope it Haunts you-Citizen Soldier The Raven-Karliene Sleep-Poets of the fall End of the World-Juliet Simms Never Enough-Karliene Possession (Piano Version)-Sarah McLachlan Madness-Ruelle Stand my ground-Within temptation Hate Me-Eurielle Wash it all away-Five finger death punch The man I used to be-Thomas Borchert Shot-The rasmus He’s hurting me-Maria Mena Home-Cavetown Far from home-Five finger death punch Remember everything-Five finger death punch I apologize-Five finger death punch Wrong side of heaven-Five finger death punch Can’t forget you-My darkest days Break your heart-Natalie Merchant I’ll be ok-Nothing More Paradise (What about us?)-Within temptation, Tarja Dog teeth-Nicole Dollanganger Head above water-Roll for it War-Poets of the fall My nocturnal serenade-Yohio In pieces-Citizen Soldier Kind and Generous-Natalie Merchant Killing me softly with his song-Fugees, Ms. Lauryn Hill Illusion and Dream-Poets of the Fall Bury me alive-We are the fallen As the world falls down-David Bowie Teeth-5 seconds of summer Dig the crazy-Faith Marie Hysteria-Def Leppard Fire and Ice- Olivia Bray You took the words right out of my mouth (Hot summer night)-Meatloaf No end, no beginning-Poets of the Fall Show me the meaning of being lonely-Backstreet Boys Battle Scars-Paradise Fears Don’t Speak (Epic Trailer Version)-Hidden Citizens, Tim Halperin Eat you-Caravan of Thieves Rise/The Greatest-Jacob Sutherland My little secret-Citizen Soldier Children of the sun-Poets of the fall The unquiet grave-Karliene Over and Over-Three days grace Just one yesterday-Fall out boy, Foxes I waited for you-Valora Please don’t make me love you-Jeremy Roberts, Frank Wildhorn, Kate Shindle Fair Game-Nivek Ogre, Lyndon Smith, Adam Pascal, Emilie Autumn I am only one-We are the fallen The willow maid-Erutan Fading Star-Weaving the fate In all my dreams I drown (Room 8:36)-American Murder Song Creature of the Night-Zombie girl, Sebastian Komor of Icon of Coil Welcome to Life-Awake at last Monster- Stream of Passion Warrior-Eliza Smith, Nathaniel Todd Young, Richard Tsutomu Williams, Taylor Lorraine Miranda, Tren Kiss from a rose-Seal Love Bites-Def Leppard Addict-Jonathan Young, Christina Vee scaPEGoat-SawanoHiroyuki[nZk]:Yosh Bleed like me-Garbage All the way/4U-Poets of the fall Killer in the mirror-Set it off Bottom of the River-Delta Rae Not gonna die-Skillet Carnivore-Starset Hero-Skillet My demons-Starset Dance with the devil-Breaking Benjamin Monster-Skillet Alpha-Little Destroyer Chasing Twisters-Delta Rae End of Me-Ashes Remain Everything Burns-Ben Moody, Anastacia How do you love someone-Yvan and Gabriel Skin and Bones-Marianas Trench House on a hill-The pretty reckless This is gonna hurt-Sixx:A.M. The Wolf-PHILDEL Even if it hurts-Sam Tinnesz Bad Word-Panicland Heal my wounds-Poets of the fall Moments before the storm-Poets of the fall My dark disquiet-Poets of the fall Carnival of Rust-Poets of the fall Breath of life-Florence + The Machine Save me-Morandi Better than I know myself-Adam Lambert Runnin’-Adam Lambert Can you hear me (Single Version)-Poets of the Fall Dancing on Broken Glass-Poets of the fall Lie to me (Denial)-Red Let it burn-Red Trip-Hedley This is war-Thirty seconds to mars Again-Flyleaf Seven Devils-Florence + The Machine No Light, No Light-Florence + The Machine Good to you-Marianas Trench All to Myself-Marianas Trench Comatose-Skillet Falling Inside the Black-Skillet Memories-Within Temptation All I need-Within Temptation Frozen-Within Temptation What have you done-Within Temptation, Keith Caputo I caught fire-The Used Walls could talk-Halsey (I just) Died in your arms (Epic Trailer Version)-Hidden Citizens Amen-Frankenstein World Premiere Cast Courtesy Call-Thousand Foot Krutch A little death-The neighbourhood Emperor’s New Clothes-Panic! at the disco Pit of Vipers-Simon Curtis Cruel-Tori Amos My Skin-Natalie Merchant For the man I loved-Karliene Tears of Blood-Karliene The wolf and the moon-Karliene Alone-Heart Hopelessly Devoted to you-Olivia Newton-John Innocence-Halestorm My arms-LEDGER Young and Beautiful-Eli Lieb We won’t be falling-(Guardian theme) The Analyst-Delta Goodrem I want your world to turn-Heart I hate myself for loving you-Joan Jett & The Blackhearts Dreaming wide awake-Poets of the Fall I want you here-Plumb Lead the fight on-She is we Monster-Beth Crowley MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT-Loveless Fairytale-Alexander Rybak Words that don’t exist-Citizen Soldier A new hope-Broken Iris Bag of Bones-Mitski As long as you love me-Backstreet Boys Quit playing games with my heart-Backstreet Boys Ashes-Celine Dion Careless Whisper-Skillet Dirty Thoughts-Chloe Adams One more night-From the Ash

[einsteinsugly]

Some of the most Eric-y songs ever...

"Advice for the Young at Heart" by Tears for Fears (we've got the whole wide world, within our hands...)

"Africa" by Toto (he turned at me as if to say, "Hurry, boy, it's waiting there for you...")

"Change the World" by Eric Clapton (baby, if I could, change the world...)

"Come Sail Away" by Styx ('cause I've got to be free, free to face the life that's ahead of me...)

"Hard for Me to Say I'm Sorry" by Chicago (after all we've been through, I will make it up to you, I promise to...)

"Hip to be Square" by Huey Lewis and the News (I used to be a renegade, I used to fool around...)

"Home by the Sea" by Genesis (comin' out the woodwork, through the open door, pushing from above and below...)

"I Can't Go For That (No Can Do)" by Hall and Oates (I'll do anything that you want me to, but I can't go for that...)

"I Don't Care Anymore" by Phil Collins (I don't care what you say, I don't play the same games you play...)

"I Don't Wanna Miss a Thing" by Aerosmith (I could spend my life in this sweet surrender, I could stay lost in this moment forever...)

"I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" by U2 (I have scaled these city walls, these city walls, only to be with you...)

"I.G.Y" by Donald Fagen (a just machine to make big decisions, programmed by fellas with compassion and vision...)

"In My Life" by The Beatles (in my life, I love you more...)

"Juke Box Hero" by Foreigner (a juke box hero, got stars in his eyes...)

"Land of Confusion" by Genesis (and this is the world we live in, and these are the hands we're given...)

"Long Train Runnin'" by The Doobie Brothers (without love, where would you be now?)

"Misunderstanding" by Genesis (now, it's not like me to say the right thing...)

"My Little Town" by Simon and Garfunkel (I never meant nothing, I was just my father's son...)

"Nowhere Man" by The Beatles (he's a real nowhere man, sitting in his nowhere land...)

"Peace of Mind" by Boston (people livin' in competition, all I want to have is my peace of mind...)

"Point Of Know Return" by Kansas (they say the sea turns so dark that you know it's time, you see the sign...)

"Sailing" by Christopher Cross (well, it's not far down to paradise, at least it's not for me...)

"Silly Love Songs" by Wings (some people want to fill the world with silly love songs, and what's wrong with that?)

"The End of the Innocence" by Don Henley (o' beautiful, for spacious skies, now those skies are threatening...)

"The Grand Illusion" by Styx (and deep inside, we're all the same...)

"The Living Years" by Mike and the Mechanics (so we open up a quarrel, between the present and the past...)

"The Logical Song" by Supertramp (when I was young, it seemed that life was so wonderful...)

"The Power of Love" by Huey Lewis and the News (the power of love, is a curious thing...)

"The Sound of Silence" by Simon and Garfunkel (hello darkness, my old friend...)

"Too Much Time On My Hands" by Styx (is it any wonder that I'm crazy, is it any wonder that I'm sane at all?)

"Vienna" by Billy Joel (slow down, you're doing fine, you can't be everything you wanna be before your time...)

"Waiting for a Girl Like You" by Foreigner (sometimes I don't know what I'll find, I only know it's a matter of time...)

"Yesterday" by The Beatles (yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away...)

"You May Be Right" by Billy Joel (it just may be the lunatic you're looking for...)

[longplayingvinyl]

Alexander Courage: Star Trek - From The Original Pilots: "The Cage" & "Where No Man Has Gone Before" (GNP-Crescendo, 1985)

Tracklist: Star Trek "The Cage" A1 Star Trek Theme (Main Title) A2 Doctor Bartender A3 Survivors A4 Prime Specimen A5 Bottled A6 Probed A7 Monster Illusion A8 Monster Fight A9 The Kibitzers A10 Vena's Punishment A11 Pike's Punishment A12 Picnic A13 True Love A14 Vena's Dance A15 Torchy Girl B1 Under The Spell B2 Primitive Thoughts B3 Wrong Think B4 To Catch A T. B5 Going Up B6 Max's Factor B7 Star Trek Theme (End Title) Star Trek "The Cage" and "Where No Man Has Gone Before" B8 Main Title B9 Star Date B10 Episode Titles B11 Force Field B12 Silvery Orbs B13 Crippled Chip B14 Speedy Reader B15 Hit The Button B16 On Delta-Vega B17 When Your Eyes Have Turned To Silver B18 Instant Paradise B19 End Title And Credits B20 Additional Credits Credits: Composed By, Conductor – Alexander Courage Executive Producer – Neil Norman Cover, Design – Ed Francis Engineer – Jim McMahon, Bob Margouleff Supervised By – Wilbur Hatch

[vocaloid-song-of-the-day]

Nun Girl and Idol Girl by cosMo@Bousou-P feat. Hatsune Miku

[briskofmisery]

A CONCERT SIX MONTHS FROM NOW

TW: Death, depression

“I'm a slave to my emotions, to my likes, to my hatred of boredom, to most of my desires.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald, This Side of Paradise

I’ve gotten used to how hushed promises whispered that clouded skies would soon be covered by a blanket of white flakes, like tales of disappointment and desires that filled with life’s dualities. The air turned crisp from the touch of the first frost, creating a tapestry of black stars that painted stories of galaxies and dreams. I could hear faint cries echoing in the silent night, chasing midnight’s breath.

Perhaps, in the end, I’ve turned prisoner in this slow dance to a most sorrowful death. The vicarious starvation clung to me like a delirious melody between stars and constellations in the sky. Nightmares have a clever way of keeping me from surrendering to tiredness; each breath I take became a departure from the very mortality I had been seeking. Instead, I find myself trapped beneath the weight of this lifeless illusion, yearning for a glimmer of hope.

The sound of glass shattering had become familiar, as my mother’s cries enveloped me in her distress, baring her soul to me as she fell apart at the seams. Sweet and endearing, yet too cruel for her own good, she had painted me as the martyr, deluding me into believing I was the savior steering the course to my personal doom. But I was nothing more than entangled within her intricate strings.

In the stillness, both body and mind succumbed to the somber haze of sanctified air, as her silhouette emerged like a ghost in the wind. A devilish creature turning sweet dreams into fragile whispers. The strong scent of decaying flowers in springtime concealed the notion of death my mother left behind, petals fallen across cold cement floors. Her laugh was like a bloody mirage — A haunting sonnet, orchestrating nostalgic reveries from when I was young. But her ignorance and youth got the best of her, my mother. I thought by autumn, I’d resigned myself to the guilt and betrayal she left behind in her wake. As December embraced its first snowfall, darkness loomed over every one of us, strands of detrimental haze ruining our paths.

“You don't want to make a scene,” My mother punctuated each word softly, as the afterglow from the living room cast a shadow over our heads. Autumn’s golden, crisp leaves hid the harsh aroma of death, her stern tone reminding the heavy rain that follows the changing hues of mid-October. “Please, Mother, if a scene was what you were avoiding, then perhaps you wouldn't have fucked the bellhop in the supply closet like a dirty, little whore.”

“Darling, how does it feel, to be nothing but a disappointment?”

I confess. I’m a pagan for the good times, beneath the cosmic illusion of anticipation. An envelope of catastrophe that hardly existed before. But words are like daggers to the heart when there is nowhere left to escape to — nowhere except a labyrinthine garden of death, separated by taunting whispers and closed doors in the night. Isolated by hearts where once-vibrant flowers now withered amidst the changing seasons.

Her abrasive shadow cast itself as a moth to a now broken flame. “You’re such a Goddamn fool, Elliott,” She slurred after a few too many glasses of whiskey, causing a glass sculpture my father bought at an Upper West Side auction to collapse, the sound reverberating through Mother’s annual Christmas party. She had always been mine to lose – A dead girl walking. Deep down, I wished to put her out of her depraved misery just this once. Then I could prevent myself from any defiled agony. Perhaps of all the hushed lullabies, the ones I told her were my deepest regrets.

Hope is a myth in this bed I made just for me. I slip further into my subconscious, the taste of guilt and decay lingering on my tongue. I caused these shattered delusions, a promise of panic and disillusionment.

Dreams can easily be disguised as nightmares if we surrender our minds to them. The mind’s detachment can lead to unspeakable things when you least expect them to. Yet, she continued to haunt my dreams, even long after her passing. I tried to drown in a kaleidoscope of snow-draped pine that decorated the wintry winds – Self-destruction and ill-fated misery. A cruel creature of habit. Yet, the envelope of fading flower petals brought a perpetual coldness, a consequence of my impudence. Violent terrors returned, shortly after the weight of reality took hold. I was no angel myself; I was the product of my mother’s cries for help.

Leaves wore a fresh coat of white frost, while bare trees hung icicles as though they have grown weary after a long day’s work. A moment when the forest fire has departed, and there is a rebirth of hopeful festivities.

“Elliott, wake up, it smells of snow.”

I awake on the edge of delirium, breaking free from an eternal dance with death in my dreams. Hands soaked in blood, the taste of guilt and decay lingered as illusions of muffled gunfire that felt an awful lot like a bad dream. I’d managed to keep my mind at bay until then, chasing the midnight air forever as if it was to be the final breath I’d take. Her blood spilled stains the tile floor, corrupting the air with a metallic scent. Red bloodshot eyes burned from the glare of flashing lights when I took a deep breath. A stranger in the eyes of the beholder.

I stood up, finding myself trapped in the confines of these four walls. I ruffled through the printed pages of my sins, before sprinting outside where I was greeted by the white skyline and the smell of snow – this season I used to call home. Memories of snow angels and Upper West Side dreams enveloped me, a reality that had become a nightmare. Yet still, it was mine.

“Elliott, what the hell are you doing?” The sound of a woman’s voice is engraved in my mind, gradually harping off to a cross dissolve. I stared out the front door, the coldness seeping through my flared-up nostrils in surprise when the blackness consumed me. “It’s not even Christmas morning yet. Don’t you want to open your presents?”

I don’t remember there being laughter or Mother’s angel wings. It was the first snowfall of the season, a mere pull of autumnal grace that had allowed winter to begin. And all I remember is how she cried in vain.

[eternaobsesion]

My dear;

I met you at the precise moment when I had lost faith, illusions, and the enchantment in everything around me. I was in a state of resignation to anything, thinking I was impenetrable, and believing that no rock could break my soul, which had already turned into a piece of metal. Then you came along, captivating me from the very beginning. You became the escape from the gray world and the ticket to a paradise filled with colors. I had never felt so lost as in your beautiful and bright blue eyes, nor in those finely sculpted lips, or your soft hair, or your warm hands.

I want you to know that without you, I am worth nothing, because if you leave, you take several pieces of my heart with you. With you goes the strength and support I used to have; by your side, I am a man who cries, regrets, and is lost in your gaze. By your side, I am nothing more than weak and frustrated emotions. You are like waking up on a sunny day without alarms or deadlines, like walking barefoot on the beach, like sitting to watch a sunset.

It seems strange to me that you haven't realized that beauty resides in you, that you are the embodiment of perfection in my eyes, that you are a fantasy, a utopia. You are unattainable, incomparable, and unmatched. You are the kind of girl everyone would want to have and the envy of those other women, gray and senseless. You are everything I've always wanted and wouldn't trade for anything. If I ever let you go, it was a mistake, perhaps the biggest mistake I've made in my life. I wish to make amends and also mend you. Amidst a plane full of stars, you are the biggest and brightest, the only company to my lonely moon, and surely the guiding star that led me to become who I am.

You are and will always be the most beautiful flower in an entire garden, the brightest star in the entire sky, and above all, the most important in my heart.

To me, you are sacred, and I have venerated you for a long time, and I will continue to do so until the end of my days

[hex-mania-animatics]

Cover finished May ‎13th, ‎2023, video finished ‎August ‎29th, ‎2023, posted to YouTube on January 5th, 2024

Weee more Star Girl and the Illusion Paradise, Rin is singing here as a reference to Evillious Chronicles /silly

[usagisbanexd]

+ SUPER SOLDIER SAILOR STARS * _) _) >>C===3 :-* Kawaii Slash Lovers Collide Cosmic Paradise // Sailormoon/Pokémon/Potterverse Altfic Crossover, INTERMISSION

Emma Watson is a beautiful actress, but she’s not Hermione, thinks Ami, affording herself a single piece of popcorn like a woman unknown to time. How’s that possible? thinks Shingo, waiting for the trailer. Every movie in Crystal Tokyo goes on forever, even the bad ones. His boyfriend says there are no bad movies. He remembers that’s true, but he’s homeless in Crystal Tokyo and his sister’s the Empress, so what does her husband know?

            Boyfriends are good people, thinks Ami, smiling in her dream. But at the cinema, she’s rapt. At the cinema, she’s thinking. Michiru should be here with me at the aquarium, not Shingo. I hate his body. It’s unpropelled.

            “Are you more of a C3PO or a Princess Leia?” asks Shingo. “Personally, I was built for sin,” he says, wiggling his brow. What eyes he has. What ears.

            Shingo hears.

            "Look how beautiful you are," says Shingo the sad weary hairdresser, thinking with his bikini line. "That's why you got the guy and I'm stuck with a boyfriend. Never mind. I'm fine. Let's just watch the trailers in uncooperative silence. Star Wars. Goop. Wing. Batphone. Pedometer. Sneeze. Hai."

            Ami says hi back, but it's too late, nothing happens, and the sky darkens, and the commercials come on, and Shingo's digging in her popcorn, spilling it all over, and she feels his hand on her thigh, and she wonders loudly if he's a mathematician, too, or just precocious like a fiend seeking a deity. Not a fiend, says Crystal Shingo, appearing on the television. A fink. A find. A tragedy. Swallow water, superhero.

            Hey, haven't we seen this movie before? This is the one where the girl goes limp in the monster's arms. She loves that monster, she says, and he would know. Let's all take a breather. God bless the Emperor and his Bride. Eternal Usagi incarnate. Boo, teehee, throw popcorn. Ganymede lives, Peeves the spirit haunting the pages, and that's the best part, the part that didn't make it into the movie. Shining Aqua Illusion, Incapacitate.

            Shingo darkens, deepens, survives. And they hold hands in the dark of the theater. In the dark of the star. In the eye of the needle. And proper eyes move wholly undetected, says Shingo, in all seriousness, and he's not afraid of his henshin stick, not afraid of foul god Artemis, and why didn't we invite Mina to see this movie? And oh yeah, it's because we're in love.