#Spousal Communication

[dc-probate-attorney]

The Heart of Harmony: Active Listening in Marriage Communication

Marriage is a journey filled with shared dreams, love, and a deep connection between two individuals. Yet, even in the strongest of unions, communication can be a stumbling block. Active listening, a fundamental aspect of effective communication, is the cornerstone of building and sustaining a harmonious and fulfilling marriage. In this article, we’ll explore the significance of active listening…

[mantra-repeated]

Linked object

Pt: Linked object :End Pt An individual object that one feels bond or "Linked" to in one way or another, though being seen as being immensely important to an individual who doesn't experience object sentience and doesn't consider themselves objectum*, and/or doesn't experience objectum feelings towards the specific object.

*Objectum is defined as (any sort of) attraction to or desiring a relationship with an object (including non-rose and/or non-amorous (romantic/queerplatonic) relationships).

Linked spousal object

Pt: Linked spousal object :End Pt An object that one is bond to, that one also considers themselves to be in some sort of relationship with and not experiencing object sentience. This dynamic is similar that of a lavender marriage (link) in that is a pair where neither are attracted to each other but are still together, thus why "spousal" was chosen. If desired, spousal can be replaced with "Partnered"

Linkatch

Pt: Linkatch :End Pt One who has a linked object.

Linkwain

Pt: Linktwain :End Pt One who has a linked spousal object.

No flags because I don't feel the terms need them. You can make flags and symbols if you want, I don't care.

Mentions / tags: @radiomogai Mogai and Liom tags are primarily for reach.

Why is this term so exclusive?

Pt: Why is this term so exclusive? :End Pt

Because I want it to be.

Also because this is, in summary, a term coined for myself first, others second. I feel linked to a very specific object in my life, to the point where I feel I am almost in a relationship with said object. But I am not objectum or experience object sentience which are the two big terms for people having a close dynamic with an object. While objectum (Specifically objectix) was close, it wasn't fully correct for me since I didn't experience attraction of any kind, and didn't desire a relationship since A. I was already in one with said object so couldn't desire a relationship I already have and B. If I wasn't, I wouldn't desire one either. It also seems more... "natural" to me that one would feel close, connected, or attached to an object that one experience as sentient. Same with attraction or desiring a relationship.

What can make one feel "Linked" to an object?

Pt: What can make one feel "Linked" to an object? :End Pt

Tons of shit. Trauma, having the object since birth, having the object through a tough time, using the object to get through a tough time, having the object through formative times, what causes the link isn't important to the term here. Just that there is one. If you really want, you can coin subterms for what causes the link, but they will be subterms. Because honestly, that's not what this term in primarily about. Do what you want, but just keep this in mind.

Alright. End of post. Have the end of post decor shit.

Banner transcript: This term was made by an Endogenic. Anyone can use if however. :End Transcript

[Red lizard divider: A divider made of two red lines with a red lizard from Rain World in the gap between them. Each line has a diamond on the outer edge and a crescent moon on the inner edge, framing the lizard :End Id]

[Banner Id: a rectangular banner with rounded corners on a transparent background. in the background of the banner is the endogenic flag by greyskies, and it has a transparent inset border. in the center is black text that reads "This term was made by an endogenic. Anyone can use it however.". In the bottom right corner is a blue lizard from the game rain world. :End id]

[Pink lizard divider: A divider made of two pink lines with rain world graffiti of a pink lizard head in the gap between them. Each line has a outline of diamond on the outer edge and a crescent moon on the inner edge, framing the lizard head. :End Id]

[maritalconcern]

Lifestyle repositioning in marriage

Repositioning your lifestyle in marriage is to shift away from your old way of doing things to a more commendable style, to enhance your relationship. It is necessary when your partner is, bluntly, reacting to a particular character of yours. Your attention in that direction makes a good understanding of a relationship. Consequently, the next thing to consider is the need to reposition your ways…

[ivygorgon]

Ensure your legal protections by securing Power of Attorney, Healthcare Power of Attorney, Living Will, and Last Will and Testament. Be specific about the powers granted to your spouse or children to avoid unintended consequences, like unauthorized property sales. These documents provide an added layer of security for your family in case your marriage is legally challenged or invalidated. Careful planning ensures your rights and intentions are upheld.

Before January 2025:

If you are a USAmerican in a relationship that might be affected by legislation that dissolves same-sex marriages, who may no longer be recognized as next-of-kin, especially if you have children, get your rights in writing!

Your marriage certificate may not be enough to prove you have rights to make medical decisions for non-biological children or for a same-sex spouse or partner.

Go to a lawyer, get it spelled out as clearly as possible that you have a voice in emergency medical and legal situations.

[shefightsforall]

Stay vigilant. While Trump is popping off about Canada, Greenland, and Mexico, Republican Andy Biggs has introduced House Resolution 7.

This line, "Whereas health care for women should also address the needs of men, families, and communities as they relate to women’s health care," implies that men could potentially dictate women's healthcare; for example, a woman might not be able to use birth control without her husband's permission.

I know that a few states still require written spousal consent for sterilization, and I am concerned that this bill could introduce the same concept for smaller healthcare decisions.

The primary focus of healthcare should be the patient, not the people surrounding them.

EDIT: Since I've shared this, a new bill to Ban Abortion nationally was proposed. Please share.

https://www.congress.gov/bill/119th-congress/house-bill/722?fbclid=IwY2xjawIHL-RleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHVL5MOT6zFKNuV1ELJcsHheYZx3AIBtB79AqSLbV4ZJKYPxbP-wMdardlA_aem_SwI8xeC3KvFdBMMaQruF5g

[horribluh]

im so so obsessed with mbj spoiling sqh after the airplane extras, like i keep thinking of that one moshang post that was like wwyd if u kept ur hamster in a tiny shitty cage and ur thinking everything is fine but then ur hamster runs away and when u finally find ur hamster again u upgrade its living situation bc u love ur hamster and u didnt realize it was that bad :((( treat ur hamsters right guys

i just want pathetic simp mbj who will do anything to prevent sqh from running off again, brick wall of a man who is soft to 1 (one) pathetic little guy. presenting him with over the top courting gifts and rare warm furs, and putting him in his adjoining spousal chambers before even getting married (so scandalous!), and learning to cook noodles even tho ur a king and having fireplaces built in ur literal ice palace so ur weak little human can stay warm. all while refusing to say the words "i love you" and therefore forcing the two of u to exist in an agonizing situationship (shang "overthinker final boss" qinghua vs mo "0 communication skills" bei jun)

and ofc sqh does not understand his intentions at all but he sure is happy to be spoiled! see! his king DOES appreciate him! hey ill do more work so this can keep happening! im ur loyal servant my king!!! (sqh is fully decked out like hes his wife, tales r told throughout the land abt sqh playing ultimate hard to get and mbj being the worlds most desperate simp)

theyre so stupid i love them sm

[txttletale]

can you explain family abolition in a few words?

sure. there is no one unitary 'family abolitionist' perspective so be aware that i'm explaining this as a marxist and not as an anarchist or a radical feminist.

basically, "the family" is a social construct rather than a fixed self-evident truth. the family has been created and can be shaped, altered, or--indeed--abolished. this is evinced by the broad anthropological and historical record of radical transformations in what constitutes 'the family' (cf. clans, the extended family, the nuclear family). viewing the family as such opens it up to critique and also to the concept that it could be replaced with something better (in much the same way that, for communist and anarchist, refusing to accept the timelessness / naturalization of the bourgeois state opens up new horizons of political thought outside of engagement with electoral politics.)

among these critiques of the family are:

that it is a tool of patriarchal control over women and children by creating an economic dependence upon spouses / parents

ergo, that it enables and causes 'abuse' -- that child abuse, spousal abuse, and intimate partner violence are not abberations of 'the family' but in fact a natural consequence of its base premises re: power and control

that it serves as a site of invisiblised economic labour (e.g. housework)

that it is a tool of the capitalist (formerly the feudal) economy's reproduction of inequality via e.g. inheritance laws

that it serves as a site of normalization and reproduction of hegemonic ideology--i.e. that it is the site where heteronormativity, cisnormativity, gender roles, class positionality, & more are ingrained in children

among solutions family abolitionists propose to remedy it are:

the total dissolution of any legal privilege conferred by romantic or blood relationship in favour of total freedom for any group of people to form a household and cohabitate

the recognition of housework, the work of childrearing, & the general tasks of social reproduction as 'real' labour to be distributed fairly and not according to formal or informal (feminized) hierarchies

the economic and legal freedom of children--(i.e., allowing children unconditional access to food and shelter outside 'the family', allowing children the legal right to informed consent and self-determination)

similarly, the emancipation of women from economic dependence on their partners--both of these can only really be achieved via socialism (as marx put it, 'women in the workplace' only trade patriarchal dependence upon a husband for patriarchal dependence upon an employer)

communal caretaking of children, the sick, & the elderly

yeah. i know. this is a lot of words. its not few words. sorry. it's a complex topic innit. this is a few words For Me consideri ng that i've got a long-ass google doc open where i'm writing up a whole damn essay on this exact topic.

tldr: the family is not inevitable, it is constructed & can be replaced with something better. full economic freedom from dependence on interpersonal familial relationships for everybody now. check out cuba's 2022 family code for an idea of what this could look like as practical legislation.

[silens-oro]

Retreat to Safer Waters

Not all fics have adult content, but this blog is 18+. Dr. Jack Abbot x f!Reader (slow burn) Shared grief/Comfort

The Pitt Playlist located here Masterlist Pass Slowly Series Patron Saint, Are We All Lost Like You?

Synopsis: With a little encouragement, you initiate some free time with Jack. Word Count: 2.8k Content Warning: Spousal death discussion; fluff; HEALTHY communication A/N: This is the next installment of my Pass Slowly series. Between this and my Pope series, the only thing going through my brain is every TikTok "at the same damn time" edit with Abbot and Pope 😭 save me Please comment and reblog :)

Two Weeks Before Patron Saint, Are We All Lost Like You?

“So, anything new with you and Doctor Jack?” Chrissy asked as you were out to lunch. You took a half day at the office so you could get an early start on the weekend and catch up with your sister. It was a question she brought up frequently. You were currently sitting on the outdoor patio to a Mexican restaurant that you both frequented during the warm summers, chatting over drinks and some killer nachos. 

“The same thing that’s always going on with me and Jack -nothing. It doesn’t matter how many times you ask, Chris. The answer isn’t going to change.” You replied nonchalantly, sipping on your margarita. 

“He’s interested.” Chrissy said like it was the most obvious thing in the world to say. You scoffed, laughing nervously. 

“He’s not.” 

“Yes he is.” She argued back with a scoff.  

“He’s dealing with a lot, and I’m sure the last thing on his mind is dating anyone…much less me of all people. Believe me, Jack’s a great guy-”

“-Very attractive-” Chrissy let her sunglasses slide down the bridge of her nose and wiggled her eyebrows. 

“Christine!” 

“You’d have to be blind to not think so. Tell me I’m wrong! He’s older,” She started using her fingers to count, “Very attractive, incredibly kind, a doctor. I can keep going,” Chrissy shrugged, sipping on her mojito. “But I might run out of fingers.” 

“You’re not wrong, but the whole situation is-”

“Messy?” She finished for you. Nodding, you looked down at your drink and swirled the straw. .

“Yeah. And even if I was interested, there isn’t a way of going into this where I don’t feel gross about it.”

“So you have thought about it,” Chrissy’s grin was downright lecherous. 

“Of course I have, but Janine was my friend, Chris. It’s weird, right? He’s definitely off limits, right? Am I overthinking this? Is there anything to even overthink?” Christine waved her hand with a shrug, stealing a chip off the plate between you. 

“I mean, if he was going to move on with anyone, I’d think it would be with someone he’s already comfortable with, wouldn’t it?” Chrissy sighed your name. “I’ve seen it with my own two eyeballs, alright? You two are absolutely clueless, I swear to God. I think you need to initiate anything if that’s what you want, and it is -I know you better than you know yourself. Then the two need to have an honest conversation, and then maybe some hand stuff-”

“Christine!” Your jaw dropped to the ground and that grin was back on your sister’s face. She leaned closer to you and lowered her voice conspiratorially.

“I’m just saying! I’m sure he’s a little rusty-” 

“-Stop!” You snorted into your napkin, waving your arm to bat her away.

“You don’t want to kill the guy. Just give him a hand!” Chrissy was nearly howling as you felt the heat of embarrassment run through your entire body. “Or two.” 

“Enough!” You laughed through clenched teeth. 

You ran into Jack when you both got to the main door of the building the following morning. He was coming home from work and you were leaving for your Saturday morning yoga class. 

“Well, good morning, Dr. Abbot.” You greeted Jack cheekily as you stepped out of the elevator. “Busy night?”

“It was surprisingly quiet. Not my preferred tempo, but I got through it.” He sounded tired and if you could see his eyes through the dark sunglasses he wore, you’d see the weariness there too. 

“Take the victories, Jack, even if they’re small.” 

“Yeah, yeah.” He noticed the bag strapped to your shoulder that had your mat. “Got a lot to do today?” 

“Just a class and some errands. Nothing crazy, but I am going to that bakery on Easton. Want me to grab you a loaf of that bread you like? My treat.” 

“You don’t have to do that-” Jack started to argue the same argument anytime you went out your way for him, and you cut him off to give the same answer you always gave him back. 

“-Either I’m buying it for you -and I can steal a few slices, or I’m buying it for me, Jack, but either way it is coming home to one of us today.” He held his hands up, but smiled nonetheless. 

“Don’t gotta twist my arm about it.” Jack rubbed the back of his neck in an odd display of nervousness that you hadn’t seen from him before. “You uh, got any plans for the night?” Small talk with Jack wasn’t all that weird, but inquisitive small talk was. You didn’t want to overstep, so you never asked him anything personal out of respect, and in turn he never really dug into what you did when you weren’t hanging out together until very recently. 

It was a subtle shift, one that would go unnoticed with just about anyone else, but nothing was subtle when it came to Jack -not by your standards, anyway. He was generally an upfront kind of person, so to see him not in his usual state piqued your interest. Your thoughts went back to the conversation you had with your sister the day before. You need to initiate, she said. Just the idea made you want to puke on the spot. 

“Figure I’d put a movie on and order some takeout. It’s been a very long week and some relaxation is very much needed.” Jack nodded, hands stuffed into the pocket of his sweatshirt. 

“Yeah, I feel that.” He said with a sigh. Jack was looking at you like he was trying to analyze you, like he was trying to figure something out and you hadn’t the faintest clue what. The feeling of his unyielding eyes made you suddenly very nervous. 

“Are you interested in joining me? Unless you’re working -I know you usually have Saturdays off, but I also know your schedule can be wonky. You know what, you probably already have plans-” Jack chose to give you mercy at that point, cutting off your rambling.

“-I would very much like to join you. I’m off tonight, thankfully.” He clarified with a chuckle, his eyes sparkling with mischief as he took off his sunglasses. Jack knew that he shouldn’t even think about it, about you, but your genuine smile allowed him to push his doubts down and allow himself to be around another person. Put the effort in, his therapist told him. “Something is drawing you to her, and while it could be a fleeting moment, it could be something more, but you have to put the effort in to find that out.”

“Great!” You replied almost a little too quickly. “There’s a Korean place that just opened up a few blocks down that I’ve been dying to try. Seems like as good of a night as any.” You tried to play it cool, act nonchalantly about…whatever this was. “Six o’clock at my place. Sound good?”

Something was off the second Jack stepped into your apartment. It wasn’t bad, but it was noticeably different. Jack held himself differently than he usually did when he came over to hang out. He wore cologne that you hadn’t smelled in years. He wore jeans and a nice, casual shirt as opposed to the comfortable sweats and pullover he usually opted out for. He was still comfortable, but definitely more dressed up than he needed to be. You weren’t going to think about the little bit of extra effort you put into your appearance. If you were being honest, the whole vibe shift was enough to throw you through a loop. 

Jack’s eyes, the way they looked at you -through you- were also different. The intention was different. His calculating eyes held a look that you couldn’t quite read and every time you peered over at him on the other side of the sofa while the movie played in front of you, he was already looking in your direction with his brows furrowed.  

“I’m sensing something here. This is different.” You paused the movie as you turned to face Jack. He looked slightly thrown that you were facing this head on, but went with it for the sake of cutting the growing tension in the cozy living room. “Does this feel…”

“Strange?” He finished, slightly shifting his body to face yours on the sofa.

“A little, yeah,” You breathed out, setting the remote down on the coffee table. “It shouldn’t.”

“But it does.” You nodded.

“I don’t want this to be weird, Jack.” You stated the obvious, heart pounding in your chest. 

“I don’t think either of us wants this to be weird.” Jack chuckled.

“Then why is it weird? We’ve had movie nights before. We’ve gotten dinner together. We’ve hung out.”

“Is that what we’re doing? Hanging out?” Oh, your eyes widened. OH. Goddamn Christine was right and you were never going to hear the end of it once she found this out. 

“Is that not what we’re doing?” You raised an inquisitive brow at Jack as you tried to get him to say exactly what was going on in the event that you were reading into things differently than he was. Jack sighed, your name slipping through his lips as he gave you his full attention.

“It’s been…a long time since I’ve done this. I haven’t put myself out there since I lost Janine, maybe I am so horrifically far removed from being practiced with any of it, but If I’m being completely honest here, my intentions were…not to hang out.” You nodded, a slight giddiness rolling in your stomach.  

“Okay…so this is mutual?” There was still this lingering doubt in your mind that maybe he didn’t really want this and was just looking for…you didn’t really know, but it still gnawed away at your psyche. 

“I sure fucking hope it is.” Jack chuckled, nerves peaking through, dragging one out of you as well. Part of the weight that was carried on your shoulders regarding him lifted ever so slightly. There was going to be a lot to work through, for both of you, but he put himself out there and you weren’t going to leave him hanging. 

Jack held out his hand for you to take, pulling you into his side when you accepted it. His warmth instantly radiated through you when your body met his, enveloping you in a comfort you hadn’t felt in years. You stretched your legs out over the length of the sofa and allowed yourself to sink into Jack as he pressed play on the remote.  

“Shit,” You groaned out, somewhat disoriented and stiff as you tried to sit up. At some point in the night, you and Jack had shifted on the sofa and right now you were wedged between Jack and the back of the sofa with your face pressed against him. His scent had your head spinning momentarily before his own groans brought you back to the present. Jack’s drowsy eyes blinked up at you, his brain catching up to where he was and who he was with. “God, what time is it?” You reached over Jack to check your phone. It was nearing two in the morning and it felt like you and Jack were in between dimensions where inky the two of you existed. It was a bubble you didn’t want to break and it seemed that Jack had the same idea because he gently pulled you back down to him, only now you were partially laying on him. 

Everything about Jack was comfortable, you were finding out. Not just physically, but his entire aura put you at ease. His hand rubbed lazy circles along your back. Jack’s steady breathing, the up and down motion of his chest, started to lull you back to sleep. 

“We’re gonna have to talk about this, Jack, but I don’t know if now is the time to dive into it.”

“We can.” He assured you. His voice was just above a whisper and you felt his breath in your ear. “I can sense you have some reservations about this.” Opening your eyes, you tilted your head to look up at Jack. You kept your voice as low as his, not wanting to break the barrier of peace that settled around you in the dim comfort of your living room. 

“I feel like I’m…intruding, but not because of anything you’ve done. Janine was my friend and you were her husband and also my friend. And I have to say this out loud because the guilt I currently feel for even looking at you too long will eat away at me if I don’t.” Jack nodded for you to continue. “It almost feels like I’m poaching. I know I shouldn’t, but I do because I don’t want anyone, especially you, to think I’ve just been waiting in the rafters for my time to strike, you know? I never looked at you as anyone other than Jack, Janine’s Husband, while she was alive. I’m not the type of person who looks at their friend’s husband or partner and thinks anything other than platonic, neutral thoughts. And I don’t want you to do something you’re going to regret because you feel some sort of obligation-”

“-Have I been reading this wrong?” Jack started to shift under you.  

“I really hope not because I do like you, Jack, but I want to make sure that this is the right thing for you, you know?” His hand continued moving along your back as he thought for a moment. 

“I understand your concerns.” He started, “I also only saw you as Janine’s friend, to be clear.” You never doubted Jack’s loyalty for a single second. “In the last…god, I don’t know, year? I’ve thought about this, us…often. Just haven’t pushed myself to do anything about it until now.” Butterflies erupted in your chest. Jack gently tilted your chin up so he could look you in the eyes as he spoke. “This isn’t something I’m jumping into without any forethought -believe me. I don’t do anything without completely overanalyzing it. I’ve spoken with my therapist about the situation extensively and I’ve put the work in to navigate through every roadblock I’ve given myself on why I couldn’t move forward with my life when I desperately wanted to after almost four years without her.” You clasped your hand in his, feeling the roughness against your skin, and brought up up to rest on his chest between you. His thumb traced over your knuckles as he continued. 

“You understand who Janine was to me -who she still is, and that is so incredibly important. I’m not looking to forget her or to replace her.” The earnestness in Jack’s voice simultaneously broke your heart and mended it back together again. “She was a part of my life for almost twenty years and will continue to be a part of who I am until I’m long gone. I had to accept that my life would continue on, because it does. It’s agonizing at times, and there was a point where I thought I wasn’t going to make it out, but you’re the one who pulled me through it. Those meals you dropped at my door? Those meant everything. The space you gave me while letting me know you were there? That meant everything. Just knowing you cared kept me going some days. You’re a true-hearted person and Janine loved you fiercely.” Jack cleared his throat and looked away, but you saw the tears that started to line his eyes. 

Without a second thought, you tenderly turned him back to face you. Please don’t hide from me, you said with your eyes. 

“I realized it would be a very long and lonely existence if I didn’t allow myself to continue. It was only a matter of how I wanted to continue -to spiral until I was a shell of who I once was, a complete disservice to every second of Janine’s life that she gave to make me a better person. Or be that better person from the get-go because that’s the legacy she left me -to grieve her loss and honor her memory. That’s all she would’ve wanted from me. Letting all of that work go undone would’ve been worse than not mourning her at all.”

“That’s a beautiful perspective to have, Jack. One I don’t think a lot of people end up with when they’ve lost a spouse.” You brought his hand up and boldly kissed the back of it. “Thank you for sharing this with me. I can’t imagine how difficult this still is for you.”

“I care for you -deeper than a friend. And I’m not sure how to navigate this, but if you have the patience to spare, I’d really like to figure it out with you.” When you smiled up at him, he brought your hand up to his lips to reciprocate your earlier gesture.

please comment & reblog :)

[latenightdaydreams]

Divorced!König x Reader (fem)

MDNI🔞

Master List✍🏽

>cw: fem/afab, divorced couple, fingering, oral, p in v, light angst/fluff

1.8k word count

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After a failed marriage, you ended up with a 75/25 custody agreement with König; you getting your son 75% of the time. In the two years since the divorce, communication with König has been next to nothing. He asks you to communicate through lawyers and you agree, not wanting to deal with his childish rage. Every drop off has been done with you and his assistant. He’s found any way to ice you out.

This weekend is his, but you already informed his people of a trip your mother paid for all her grandchildren. König agreed to let him go and just take the next weekend. That’s why it's so surprising when your doorbell rings late Friday night.

Dressed in baggy shirt and biker shorts, you walk from the kitchen with a glass of wine in your hand. When you poke your head out the window to see who it is, you notice König’s Audi outside. Why is he here?

You open the door to be greeted by his intense gaze, his pale eyes locking onto yours. He’s wearing an expensive black on black outfit with a freshly shaved face. A small smile on his thin scarred lips. Different from his typical military uniform and stoic expression.

“Hello?”

“Hallo, Schatz.” His eyes drift up and down your body, appreciating your cute loungewear.

“What are you doing here?” You ask confused, his wandering eyes causing you to feel self-conscious.

“I’m here for Elisa.”

“I told you he’s gone with my family. Remember, you agreed for next weekend instead?”

“Ah.” König says, looking around, not moving. “May I come in?”

“Uh—I guess, yeah.”

You step aside to let him in. König walks in and sees the place he paid for in the divorce for the first time. It smells like you, home, and it’s comforting. You close the door and walk to him awkwardly, not knowing what to say. The surrounding air both feels thick and it’s uncomfortable.

“The place looks nice; homey.” He says, combing his fingers through his short hair.

“Thank you. And thank you for helping me with it—”

“You don’t need to thank me. It’s what a man is supposed to do for the mother of his child.” He says, trying to act manly, but in all honesty it’s because he never stopped loving you. The dead air makes things more awkward before he speaks up again. “Cheap red?” He gestures to the glass of wine still in your hand.

“Yeah, my favorite.” You laugh softly and take another sip.

“May I have a glass?” His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows, nervous of your rejection.

“Sure, yeah.”

König follows you close behind as you walk to the kitchen, silently cursing the baggy shirt you’re wearing for making it harder to check you out. There is light stubble covering your legs, making him smile; recalling what it felt like rubbing your legs late at night before bed. His eyes observe you as you open the bottle of wine and carefully pour it out. He can tell that he’s making you nervous and hopes it’s because you still feel butterflies with him.

You step forward and hand the glass to König, his large fingers graze your own causing his stomach to do a flip. His eyes lock with yours as you lean back against the counter. He brings the glass to his lips taking a small sip of the overly sweet cheap wine.

“Danke.”

“Yup.” You pour yourself more wine as you run through all the possibilities of what he might be here to talk about. Is he stopping spousal support? Asking for more days with Elias? Is he getting married? You turn to König once more. “How have you been?”

“I’ve been…well.” He takes a small sip of wine breaking eye contact. “You?”

“Same.”

“That’s good.” The same painful silence plagues the air. “The place looks nice.” He repeats himself.

“You said that already.” His eyes snap to yours.  “So why are you really here?”

“I- I.” He looks around the room trying to think of an excuse, he forgot his original one. “I just wanted to check up on you.”

“Why? We haven’t talked in…years.”

König’s face turns a light shade of pink as he feels the heavy guilt of just cutting you out. In all reality, when you filed for divorce, it shattered his heart. The only way he could move on is if he pretended you never existed, but that hasn’t worked.

“I’m sorry about that. I always just wonder how you are, so I decided to show up.”

“Why not call? Email?” You put your glass down on the countertop behind you. “That’s what a normal person would do. Why are you really here?”

“I’ve missed you.” His voice comes out in a broken whisper before clearing his throat.

König looks down at you with the softest puppy eyes, waiting for you to respond. He knows that his neglect in the marriage is what led to its downfall so he doesn’t have much room to ask anything of you. His ego was too big of him to ask you for a second chance then, but these years without you have proved he can’t do it.

“What?” You snap.

“I said—”

“No, I heard you. Why would I care? Did you get dumped?”

“I never had a girlfriend.”

You look at him for a moment before snapping again, bringing up every moment that you can think of when you asked him to work on the relationship. Reminding him that he is the one that cut all communication between the both of you. He has been the one to give up and leave so easily while you drowned in life alone.

König didn’t dare defend himself or interrupt you. Everything you’re saying is completely correct. He just stands with slumped shoulders and a face full of regret. His eyes drift to your lips as you speak, noticing the way your soft lips pout as your words grow more emotional. With each second that passes, he gradually approaches, one small step at a time until he ends up just inches away from you. His free hand reaches out and cups the side of your face. Without another word, König leans in and kisses you.

A rush of powerful emotions comes flooding back to you. Just feeling his lips against yours once more was enough to melt you. Your lips press back against his as your hand grabs the glass from his hand and sets it down.

König wraps his arms around your waist and hoist you up on to the counter. His tongue presses past your lips, tasting your sweet tongue as he swirls his around yours. The kiss only briefly broken as he pulls your shirt off, tossing it onto the kitchen floor as he looks down at your braless breasts; just as perfect as they were last time he saw them.

König’s lips meet your once more while his hands move up to cup your breasts. He twirls your nipples between his fingers, leaving a trail of wet kissing down your side of your neck to your breast. In slow motions König flicking his tongue over your nipples. His rock-hard cock twitches in his pants.

“König, maybe we shouldn’t.”

“I need you, please.”

His fingers trace over the elastic in your shorts, pulling them off when he feels you lift your hips. A soft hum leaves his lips when he sees the floral-patterned underwear concealing what he craves the most right now. He wraps his hands around your hips, pulling you closer to him as he drops to his knees in front of you.

The warmth radiates between your legs, he craves it. His lips press against the cotton fabric, taking a deep breath in to savor your scent. He kisses hungrily, feeling the small wet spot growing on the fabric. With two fingers he slips underneath the fabric of his panties and touch your folds. His eyes meet you as he slips them into you, studying the expression of pleasure riddled across your face.

You drop your head back, resting on the cabinets behind you. Soft moans leave your lips as his thick fingers curl up pressing against your g-spot. His teeth pull your underwear to the slide more, slipping his tongue up and down your glistening folds. Your fingers find their way combing through his short hair.

The loud desperate moans leaving you only encourage him. This feels like when you were both younger and spontaneous, before König pushed you aside for work. He feels your sweet arousal begin to drip down from his fingers to his palm, your pussy white and creamy. His name leaves your lips like fire as you orgasm. Once your body stops trembling, he slowly withdraws his fingers from you. With his tongue flat, he licks the thick cream off your thighs and from between your cheeks, making sure he cleans you up.

Your eyes meet him as he stands up, rushing to undo his pants. His cock springs free as his pants fall, he pulls his shirt over his head to discard along with the rest. The look in your eyes is dreamy, full of lust of love.

König leans in and kisses your forehead as he lines himself up between your thighs. It’s been so long since he’s had sex, the fact it’s you he has again feel so unreal to him. He will never throw away the privilege of having your body ever again. You’re so beautiful, every inch.

As his cock slips in your jaw drops, a stuck moan lingers until finally he presses in completely. His forehead is presses against yours as his eyes close, letting the warmth consume him. One arm snakes underneath your thigh and pulls you forward more.

His broad hips snap against yours, a mixed melody of you both moaning fills their space in the kitchen. Your feel his hot breath brush across your face, he looks down at you through half lidded eyes. The silky walls of your cunt hug his cock so perfectly, he’s forgotten just how tight you are.

“You feel so fucking good.” His voice is almost a whimper. “I love you. I love you so fucking much, y/n.”

Your hands caress his jawline, pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. König responds by thrusting harder into you. The sound of your creamy cunt and feeling of your soft lips push his body to the point of no return. His hips slow to attempt to prolong the pleasure, but he can’t. His cock throbs deep inside of you, cum slowly dripping out when he pulls slightly.

The both of you try to catch your breath, his hands not leaving you as he squeezes you tightly as if he’s scared to let go. König gently lifts you from the counter and walks to the couch. With gentle hands he rests you back against the soft fabric. Still not pulling out, he climbs on top of you and hugs you to his body. He hopes that this is a sign of reconciliation.

[dc-probate-attorney]

Balancing Work and Marriage: Nurturing a Harmonious Life

In today’s fast-paced world, juggling the demands of a successful career and a fulfilling marriage can often feel like a challenging tightrope walk. The pursuit of professional excellence and the desire for a strong, loving marriage are both worthy aspirations, but finding the delicate equilibrium between the two is essential for maintaining a harmonious life. Balancing work and marriage requires…

[foone]

In the future when we've legalized polyamorous marriages it's gonna be a real pain for prosecutors if we still have spousal privilege.

Like, we caught the whole gang of thieves that pulled off the 13.7 m$ dollar heist, but unfortunately they're all one big polycule, so all their communications count as Privileged Communication and we can't call any of them to testify against each other.

[camomileapplesyrup]

today i got into a heated argument with two TRAs over the twoXchromosomes subreddit. i made a post about the woman-centric subreddit now being overrun with men & MRAs who harass women that share their traumatic experiences with men. from SA, to spousal abuse, women found a space where they felt safe discussing their experiences in life.

posts expressing feminist thought, traumatic experiences & general fear of men were met with downvote bombings & harassment.

men pretend to be underage girls pretending not to understand masturbation and acting they don't know how to wash "down there", asking for advice for sexual gratification of course.

men CONSTANTLY adding their two cents to posts that absolutely do not need it.

the subreddit is now uncomfortable & stifling, mods do absolutely nothing about it. so i made a lengthy post and so many women responded. over 500 comments of women responding positively, and thanking me for calling out an ongoing issue.

well, apparently i am transphobic and i am acting "sussy" with saying; “every time i come here and a woman makes a post with the most MINUSCULE feminist intent, or sharing her trauma, or difficulties in her personal experiences, it doesn't just get downvoted to oblivion, but filled up with comments of dudes adding their two cents, tone policing, making sexual & or fetish comments or "not all men"ing her. this is a woman centric community. two X chromosomes. we aren't going to make our tones softer, be gentler and tip-toe around our individual experiences to make YOU, a dude, comfortable.”

all it took was this for two TRAs to gang up on me & call me transphobic. saying this is why they don't trust cis feminists, and patronising me with expressions like "you must be so brave for calling yourself a radfem". they claimed that i cannot call myself a radical feminist because it's just bigoted towards trans women, despite me living in a 3rd world country where we don't even have working woman's shelters and proper laws against spousal abuse. "im sorry your life is hard as a woman living in a misogynistic country, but that is here nor there with regard to the terminology we're discussing" i'm sorry, what?

most of us aren't privileged enough to be libfems. i wish pink fucking girlboss they/she queen xenogender discourse was what my country could be doing, but life is not fair for everyone. if a woman here gets abused, stalked, or raped, she has nowhere to go. no phone number to call. no police to call. no prosecutor to trust in. and i went through this, personally.

by the end i had to block them, because they were derailing the conversation. but fuck, even when i literally do my best and try to be inclusive to everyone, i get spat in the fucking face.

[deathlygristly]

For some reason I decided to read a Reddit thread on When The Phone Rings. Yes, I know, that's on me. But I've seen the sentiment on here too.

I guess it's what the kids call "antis"? Like this is a fictional show, none of it is real, and I seriously doubt any of the people watching will ever get switched for their older step-sister in an arranged marriage to the presidential spokesperson, who is the son of another chaebol family that's into politics. But then it turns out that the original son of the political family was a serial killer and the grandfather tried to drown him when he was a kid and then replaced him with the orphan who grew up to be the spokesperson. But the serial killer son survived the drowning attempt, and now the grown up serial killer son and also possibly the twin of one of the serial killer's victims is coming after the adopted son.

Like y'all are not going to be in this situation IRL, okay? You are not going to be in an arranged marriage with a man who is severely traumatized by seeing the drowning attempt, being taken from the man who had taken him in and raised him, and forced to live with people who did not like him and who controlled and abused him and who only wanted to use him to appear "normal" and "likable" so they could win elections and get political power.

And if you ever are in that situation for some reason, it's extremely unlikely that after three years of not communicating at all and pretty much being strangers you'll be targeted by a kidnapper, steal the kidnapper's phone, use the phone to finally communicate a bit, and end up with your husband revealing that he's obsessively loved you all along.

This is fiction. Maybe the female lead falling down a cliff and being fine and the male lead being in two explosions and being fine would clue you in on that? I don't know. Like someone said in the thread, these people must be why dramas all have a disclaimer now at the beginning saying that the drama is fiction and the events aren't real or based on anything real. Not that it helps.

It's just....it's weird and kind of conservative Christian culty how they're all "oh noes but young girls will think that it's okay if their husband doesn't talk to them for three years and is a bit mean!" If you're really worried about that then maybe you should be teaching your daughters or younger sisters or young female friends or students or whatever about boundaries and abuse and emotional awareness instead of not communicating with them at all, like how you say it's so bad that the characters are doing in the beginning of the show?

Also, okay, I've been married for 22 years and we started dating 25 years ago. I can assure you that the spousal person is awesome and our relationship is fine and healthy and the people at our favorite restaurant exclaim over us every time we come in and when I was in the hospital after gallbladder surgery the doctors called us "lovebirds." It's very easy to separate reality from fiction and to enjoy watching characters and stories that aren't your personal perfect ideal template of whatever and still have a healthy and enjoyable life.

If it's not easy for you, I think that's more a personal matter that you need to investigate and work on in your own life instead of judging and hating strangers online about it? Maybe you could look into resources for recovery from high control groups?

[knowledge-from-the-abyss]

Godspousal and Spirit Family

Introduction and the History of Godspousal

First off, I would like to highly recommend the book Spirit Marriage by Megan Rose; this book is a fantastic resource on godspousal that shows both historical and interviewed accounts of godspousal. Another term for godspousal is spirit marriage; this term is a broader term that covers more than just ‘gods’ in spousal. Another word that is commonly used to describe this is spiritspousal (generally used to describe a spousal relationship with non-deity entities). For this post, I am going to use the term spirit marriage or spousal, since these terms describe this more broadly. (I do generally use the term godspousal as a catch all term, however for this post, I want to use spirit marriage or just generally ‘spousal’ to avoid confusion). 

As this book describes, spirit marriage is not a new-age phenomenon, it can actually be found pretty much as far back as written history exists; there may be other instances where oral records had evidence of spirit marriage as well, but seeing as oral tradition may or may not be recorded, there isn’t much evidence of this. 

Different Types of Spirit Marriage

There are a few different types of spirit marriage, which I will describe here. 

Devotional- this type of spirit marriage usually involves the person devoting themselves almost fully to one or more deities. A lot of their craft may revolve around these deities, and there may be special things they do for and with these deities they are devotionally married to. 

Platonic- this generally involves a closer relationship with the deity, it can also go alongside devotional spousal. This is a relationship where the deity and the person may do things such as cuddle, hug, or even kiss. This relationship often involves the person relying on the deity/deities for emotional support or comfort when they are needing it. 

Romantic- this type of spousal is the most common type of spirit marriage, and the one that most generally is referred to when someone is talking about godspousal. Being romantically spoused to a deity/deities often involves a long process that can take years. Generally, romantic spousal includes a courting phase that can last months or even years. During this time period, the practitioner and deity/deities are getting to know each other. Some of the ways that spouses may get to know their deity/deities is by going on dates with them, getting to know them via meditation, and communicating with them through divination, clairsenses, and channeling. 

Familial/parental- this type of spousal is similar (and again can also involve) platonic and devotional spousal. The deity/deities will often take on a more parental or familial role within the person's life. The practitioner may lean on the deity for emotional support and comfort. The deity takes on a very parental, sibling or possibly uncle/aunt type role, depending on what the practitioner is needing. The practitioner may go to the deity for advice or otherwise treat them as a family member. The deity, in turn, will view the practitioner as one of their own family. 

How old do I have to be to be a godspouse? 

Some of the information I’m including in this section is going to be a bit controversial, however there are historical facts that I am going to go through here that I feel are important (and interesting). 

It is my belief that for romantic spirit marriage, a person should wait until they are at least 18 before even considering it. However, historically, there are records of romantic spirit spousal happening to people (specifically girls) as young as 12. This is mostly seen in Hindu culture (and is covered in the Spirit Marriage book mentioned above). Instead of forcing these young girls to be in an arranged marriage, these girls would be spiritually spoused to Shiva, or sometimes Shiva’s son, until they were older. 

The main reason, in my belief, that someone should not consider spirit marriage until they are older is not due to their age; deities do not hold the same human standards and morality as we do, they do not follow our laws and rules. Instead, this has more to do with maturity. Spirit marriage is a lifelong commitment and a very deep bond that you share. It is not something that someone does on a whim. Just like a human marriage, it takes years to get to know the entities involved, to bond with them, and to decide if ultimately you want them to be around you the rest of your life. Spirit marriage involves making vows, just like a human marriage, that you must uphold and keep. Sometimes, depending on the culture, the deity may even require the practitioner to be an open channel for them; allowing the deity to channel through them whenever the deity wishes, and even possibly allowing the deity to live permanently in the person's body so that they may do this. All of this requires someone to have the maturity to understand the depth and meaningfulness of this type of relationship; something that most teenagers (and even some people who are in their early 20s) will not truly understand. While divorce is sometimes possible, it would be similar to a human divorce, with many years of fighting and debating to decide if that is truly the best course of action for both parties. Divorce when it comes to spirit marriage is incredibly rare (the Spirit Marriage book actually does mention this as well). 

Can I be spoused to multiple deities? 

This question has already been alluded to, but yes, you can have multiple deities as spouses. In the book Spirit Marriage, there is a person who has about 7+ spouses that are listed. I personally am also spoused to multiple deities; some of the deities I am spoused to have been spousing me for many many lifetimes as well, and our spousals have continued into this lifetime. 

How do spouses interact with their deities/entities? 

As with some of the other posts I made, there are multiple ways to communicate with deities/entities. Divination is a very common way to do this, as well as using the clairsenses. Channeling is another very common way that a lot of spouses end up communicating. Interactions such as going on dates can often happen in the astral realm, the realm where non-corporeal entities reside. Some people will also go out on dates in the physical world, going to a restaurant or other places they enjoy and allowing their deity/entity spouses to accompany them. 

How do I know if a deity/entity wants spousal? 

Generally there will be very clear signs when a deity/entity is wanting spousal. You may even be able to feel it in the energy they give off; they may give off a flirtatious vibe (although there are some deities/entities that have a very flirtatious energy in general, so please make sure you are using discernment and doing divination to confirm that they genuinely do want spousal). Other ways they may show you are by being around you constantly; they may outright tell you they want spousal (if you’re able to hear them). Some deities will send practitioners dreams about marriage or otherwise romantically-inclined dreams to signal they are wanting spousal. Some deities may mention it while the practitioner is doing divination with them. 

Is sex involved with romantic spirit marriage? 

Yes, sex can be (but is not always) a part of romantic spirit marriage. Again, similar to the above question about interacting with spouses, this often happens in the astral realm. This can also happen through self-pleasure. Spiritual pregnancies and spiritual children can also be a result of this; energy from the deities/entities as well as the practitioner's energies can go into making a spiritual child (or children). Multiple deities can also be involved in the creation of these children. With me and my wife, since we are spoused to some of the same deities, sometimes both our energies go into our spiritual children as well. In these situations, either the deity or the practitioner can become spiritually pregnant, and there may even be physical symptoms of pregnancy involved as well if it is the practitioner who gets pregnant. Even masculine deities can get pregnant (deities are very genderfluid in nature). 

How do you balance spirit marriage with physical relationships? 

This is going to be individual to each practitioner and their spouse(s). Some deities/entities will allow someone to have a human partner or human relationships, while others will forbid a human relationship. This is also something that needs to be discussed with your spirit spouses, as some people will be ok with never having a physical relationship, while with others it is something they will require in their human lifetime. 

For me personally, I got incredibly lucky in that my wife is also spoused to many of the same deities I am, so our relationship and spousals often coincide with each other very well. 

What is a spirit family? 

Spirit family can describe several things which I will go through here. Spirit family can refer to the human people who your soul tends to reincarnate with and who your soul was made alongside. This can include people such as soulmates, twin flames, etc. 

Spirit family can also refer to the actual deities/entities that helped create your soul (this can also be referred to as soul family); many people have several deities/entities that would consider themselves to be parental figures (for me, I have several soul moms and dads). The person may also have deities/entities that are brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts, and grandparents. Many times these deities/entities will have influence over the person’s personality and behavior (from what I’ve seen, a lot of times the soul parents will have the most influence. For me, Loki is one of my soul dads and he has influenced my personality greatly this lifetime. I'm incredibly chaotic, but also incredibly empathetic just like him). 

Spirit family can also refer to deities/entities that have adopted you as one of their own in past lives (or even in this current one). One of my spirit mothers, Yemoja, adopted me from a past life and still considers me to be her family (she takes on a motherly role for me). 

Can I be spoused to someone who is also part of my spirit family? 

Again this is another controversial question, but again I would like to point out that deities and other entities do NOT follow human laws and standards. They do not see things the same way we do. So the answer to this question, from my perspective, is a resounding YES. Loki is one of my soul fathers, and he is also the main deity I am spoused to. While in this lifetime he did start out as a father figure to me, and I grew up feeling that he was more of a dad than any other father-figures in my life, our relationship evolved and grew. As I started to get older (around when I was 18-19) I no longer needed him to act as a father figure to me. Our relationship evolved, and we eventually became platonically spoused when I was around 20. After that, our relationship continued to evolve, and at around 22 I accepted that he wanted to change our spousal once again to a romantic spousal. 

As for human relationships, I do want to go into more detail about soulmates, twin flames and other such terms. There are a lot of huge misconceptions about these concepts due to the media we have (social media, tv shows, movies etc). I want to go through the terms soulmates and twin flames, and cover the misconceptions many people have about these relationships. 

Soulmates

Soulmates are often a term that, in media, describe your ‘one true love’ that you are destined to be with. In reality, soulmates are people who were created alongside you and who often go through similar life experiences; you may be able to relate to them very deeply about similar experiences you have shared during your life. Most people have multiple soulmates, and not everyone will always be in a romantic relationship with their soulmates. I have encountered instances where someones pet, their mom, their dad, their siblings or even their best friends are their soulmates. I see many sibling relationships where this is the case in fact, where two siblings will be incredibly close, best friends, and will always be loyal to each other no matter what. These ‘ride or die’ sibling relationships can sometimes indicate that these two people are in fact soul mates. While some soulmate relationships are definitely meant to be romantic, that’s definitely not always the case. 

Twin Flames

Twin flame is another term that is often misunderstood or misused; some people use soulmates and twinflames interchangeably, however from my experience, they are two different categories of soul bonds. From my experience, a twin flame is someone who shares a part of another persons soul; twin flames often mirror each other in many ways, although unlike how soulmates may mirror each other in experiences, this tends to be more mirrored interests as well. As with soulmate relationships, I believe someone can have multiple twin flames, and that not all twin flame relationships are purely romantic. 

Karmic

The last soul bond relationship I want to cover is karmic relationships. These relationships can form over time from any type of soul connection someone may have with another person. These relationships are toxic and unhealthy; a lot of times the two people in the relationship will feed off each others negativity or bounce the negativity back and forth. Again, as with other soul connections, these relationships are not just romantic. These karmic relationships also often require cord cuttings in order to sever the bond between the two people so that they can grow and learn apart from each other. 

As usual, I would like to thank @astralscraft for helping me with this post! I'm sure that this is not all the information I can give about godspousal; feel free to inbox or message me if you have questions!

[robinwithay]

i would love it if the hardcore DT/MS rpfers that claim Georgia is abusive directed ANY of that energy at men in their lives and communities who may actually be at risk of spousal abuse, instead of toward a celebrity man they have a parasocial relationship with and whose wife they are rabidly misogynistic toward

[justalittleb-witchy]

Chosen-one Syndrome: Cults and Manipulation

I'm largely unsure about how to convey these words of caution, because you are special, you are unique, and you are capable of great things-- but there is a line. Whenever something or someone over-inflates your sense of self, be cautious. When it comes to religions/spirituality, it is very easy to manipulate people by telling them that they are special, that they are somehow unique, that they are better than others. We all crave a deeper purpose-- but be logical with it. There are 8 billion people on this planet-- no one person is destined to save the world.

There are other ways this manifests-- typically by telling the victim that they have special powers or abilities, or that their parents are x entity, or that they are a reincarnated version of y, that they hold the special role of z, that they are married to w, etc. And it is sometimes hard to differentiate this grooming from legitimate spiritual concepts-- for example, the concept of soul parentage (what people are usually referring to when they say "[deity] is my parent"), is a common belief system. God Spousal is also part of some people's practices, and it has historical basis.

Be cautious of anyone who is telling you such grand things-- especially if its another person. Verify that in any way you can, and remain humble. Consider what motivations they may have, and how this information may impact you. And if they begin catastrophizing (i.e. if you don't do this thing, this very bad thing will happen), be extra cautious of them, because this is blatantly a manipulation technique.

This also applies in scenarios where you are not the person being framed as the "chosen one". Perhaps a friend becomes convinced that they are genuinely the reincarnation of a deity, and demands your worship-- that is not healthy, and creates ripe opportunities for both of you to be manipulated.

When you're presented with such scenarios, think to yourself, "Does this sound too good to be true?" and if yes, proceed with caution and question the intentions of the person providing you with that information.

A cycle that repeats itself every so often in witchy spaces is the concept of an astral war-- the idea that the "astral world" is at war and the gods need us mortals to fight in it. It gets people into a tizzy, where they feel like they have to do these grand things to defend this concept of a place they barely even understand.

Or, for a less-close to home example, "end times" preachers and the rapture. If you can imagine how such a concept is illogical, be ready to apply the same sort of skepticism to your community when grandiose claims are made.

Two more examples:

An unnamed deity tries to convince you that you are part of this super secret order of reincarnated souls. You're uber-special and only that deity can tell you about it, but they also can't tell you too much because you are "not ready". There's no historical basis for any of this, and you cannot find any information on it. They've effectively tied you to them through this concept, because you are desperate to learn more, and to become more powerful and meaningful.

An entity, out of the blue, starts invading your space and tries to convince you that you are reincarnated lovers. You have to be together because they just love you so much. A perfect fairytale except-- where the fuck did they come from? What do they want from you? Why are they trying to force you into this arrangement? etc.

Generally, the difference between "this could be legitimate" and "this is likely an attempt at manipulation" is a razer-thin line. It's not always as clear as the difference between "Hey, you have the potential to become a very powerful medium, and can help a lot of spirits cross over" and "The god of death needs you to take over his job while he takes a vacation".

Use discernment, take things slow, and ask yourself "If this was happening to someone other than me, would I believe that this is even a possibility?"