#Spiritual abuse in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

[mindfulldsliving]

Ministering with Compassion: Addressing the Harm Behind “The Church is Perfect, But the People Are Not”

The phrase “The church is perfect, but the people are not” has been a source of controversy and reflection for many of us. It raises a critical question: what does it mean to be part of a community that embodies spiritual ideals while still being made up of flawed individuals? As Latter-day Saints, we often find ourselves navigating this balance, recognizing the divine potential within the church…

[eve-ate-the-right-fruit]

Today I wondered how I was ever going to feel the Spirit when he was up on the stand. How could I feel anything but anger and resentment toward the stake president who had interrogated and belittled me, who had used his priesthood authority as a justification for treating me like an unclean thing, all because I had said I was queer?

I love the sacrament. I love to repeat the words of the sacrament prayer in my head every time I take it, my own personal blessing on the blood and body of Christ. But this time, I couldn't get through the opening phrases without being overwhelmed by hurt and betrayal. It only made me feel even worse, to think that the presence of one measly mortal man could take even this sacred experience away from me.

And then I thought about Jesus. He also told people who He was, and how was He received? The devil tested Him. He was called a blasphemer. They pressed Him with questions, intending to ensnare him. He was despised, rejected.

In that moment, I felt the Spirit more strongly than I had in some time. I knew I was not alone. Nobody, not even somebody claiming to act in His name, could keep me from my Savior.

[bijouxcarys]

I’ve been doing this thing for about a year now, where I’ve made it a goal to try and find the documentary that disturbs me the most.

I stay away from documentaries that focus on animal abuse, since that’s just a massive no-go area, I can’t even think about someone as little as shout at an animal.

But I’ve watched quite a few at this point. I know a lot of people out there are also interested in this kind of thing, so I’ll give you some of the ones that have really had an impact on me. I’ll start with the tamest ones (available on mainstream platforms like Netflix) and it’ll get progressively more upsetting lol.

I’m actually quite a desensitised person, so if a documentary affects me, you know it’s worth it.

Green = unfortunate and upsetting

Orange = Jesus that’s fucked up, that’s latched onto me for a while

Red = The above + will find it difficult to watch again, and this made me cry my eyes out

Bold Red = Kept me up at night for a while + all the above. Still think about it to this day.

Bold with ** = don’t watch if you don’t have a strong stomach and can’t handle emotionless gory images

Take Care of Maya (2023) - Netflix

A nightmare unfolds for Jack and Beata Kowalski after they bring their 10-year-old daughter to the ER with unusual symptoms.

Tell Me Who I Am (2019) - Netflix

When Alex loses his memory after a serious motorcycle accident, he trusts his twin Marcus to tell him about his past, but he later discovers that Marcus is hiding a dark family secret.

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey (2022) - Netflix

The rise of Warren Jeffs in the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints and his criminal case.

Abducted in Plain Sight (2017) - Netflix

In 1974, 12-year-old Jan Broberg is abducted from a small church-going community in Idaho by a trusted neighbour and close family friend.

Dreams of a Life (2011)

Discovering the truth about the life of a vivacious, intelligent woman - and how she came to be so tragically forgotten. Nobody noticed when 38-year-old Joyce Vincent died in her bedsit above a shopping mall in North London in 2003. When her remains were discovered three years later, her heating and her television were still on. Who was Joyce Vincent, and how could this happen to someone in today's age of communication?

Just Melvin, Just Evil (2000)

In this documentary focusing on his own tortured family tree, James Ronald Whitney chronicles an evil that seems too pure to be real: Melvin Just. Over the span of three generations, Just, who married Whitney's grandmother and was later convicted of child molestation, is revealed to have abused his stepchildren from two marriages. Whitney not only explores the unspeakable acts perpetrated by his grandfather, but also the legacy of self-destructive behavior that can all be traced back to Just.

Tickled (2016)

In a story stranger than fiction, journalist David Farrier uncovers a strange tickling subculture. Delving deeper into the dark world of a tickling competition, he meets with fierce resistance.

Holy Hell (2016)

Filmmaker Will Allen documents the time he spent with the Buddhafield, a Los Angeles spiritual group.

Jesus Camp (2006)

Filmmakers Heidi Ewing and Rachel Grady visit an evangelical Christian summer camp called Kids on Fire, where children take part in programs designed to strengthen and intensify their beliefs. The camp's founder, Becky Fischer, discusses her mission to indoctrinate youths in the word of God, while young campers play certain combat video games and talk about their love for Jesus.

There’s Something Wrong with Aunt Diane (2011)

The accident made national headlines: a suburban mother drove the wrong way on the Taconic State Parkway in New York and crashed head-on into an SUV, killing herself and seven others. In the aftermath, Diane Schuler was portrayed as a reckless drunk and a mother who cracked. But was she the monster the public made her out to be...or the perfect wife and mother that many say she was? Investigating the case six months after the accident, this documentary searches for answers to a mysterious and senseless tragedy.

Goodnight, Sugar Babe: The Killing of Vera Jo Reigle (2020)

The discovery of the mutilated body of a mentally challenged young mother begins a journey into madness that is so unbelievable the mastermind behind the crime ultimately got away with murder.

Paradise Lost: The Child Murders at Robin Hood Hills (1996)

Paradise Lost was a groundbreaking true crime documentary series released in 1996 that set the bar for the genre and influenced similar productions. The trilogy follows the story of three teenage boys who were wrongfully accused and convicted of a brutal triple homicide in West Memphis, Arkansas. The series explores themes of societal hysteria, wrongful convictions, and the power of media influence, and it launched the careers of filmmakers Joe Berlinger and Bruce Sinofsky.

**Orozco the Embalmer (2001)**

A Spanish-language, Japanese-Colombian mondo film (a subgenre of exploitive documentary films) directed by Kiyotaka Tsurisaki, following a Colombian embalmer named Froilan Orozco Duarte, who is shown living in El Cartucho, an impoverished and crime-ridden area of Bogotá, Colombia, where the homicide rate is high and corpses can be seen on the streets.

The Dying Rooms (1995)

Documentary about a crew going from one orphanage to another in China to investigate these so called "dying rooms" where the orphanage workers leave baby girls to die.

The Dancing Boys of Afghanistan (2010)

In Afghanistan many hundreds of boys, often as young as ten, are being lured off the streets on the promise of a new life. Also known as Bacha Bāzī: an ancient Afghan practice in which men train, buy, and keep adolescent young boys for entertainment and sex in a society that keeps women hidden from view.

Boy Interrupted (2009)

Filmmaker Dana Perry documents the life of her son, Evan, a 15-year-old who committed suicide. The film traces Evan's growing mental illness, including videotapes made throughout his short life and interviews with his friends and doctors.

Dear Zachary: A Letter to a Son About His Father (2008)

Dear Zachary is a both a touching tribute to a fallen friend and a heart-wrenching account of justice gone astray, skillfully put to film with no emotion spared.

[divinefr1]

I’m Trustless and I’m a Mormon

Hello. I’m DivineFR1, and I’m a Mormon. The bottom line is this: I no longer trust the Mormon Church. I either leave activity in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, or I get excommunicated. If I were more public with my career duties, spiritual belief systems, and activism, I would eventually face the same fate in the Church as Margaret Toscano, D. Michael Quinn, Natasha Helfer Parker, John Dehlin, Sam Young, and Peter Bleakley, just to name a few. This is the story of my trust crisis and current faith transition from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

I still like to believe I have a firm faith and foundation in the doctrines of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is kind of weird to say when I have made a major decision to not participate in the LDS Church and to not return to activity. Ultimately, I will always have “Mormon” in my identity due to my rich family heritage and personal experiences. I had every intention of remaining active for my entire life. My testimony and faith in the Restored Gospel were so strong, that they really gave me stability when none was available from other sources. I served a mission faithfully and diligently. I married in the Temple. I respected and honored my covenants. My covenants were the pillar of my faith to maintain activity. As I write this letter, I am heartbroken, tenderhearted, frustrated, and devastated. Yet, I also feel a great sense of gratitude and joy. I just hope I can convey a sense of understanding while sharing my story.

Over the last 5 years, so many of my experiences in and about the Church have led to this remarkable decision and outcome. In fact, it seems that it is an “inevitable” decision (as so many others who have made their own faith transition have put it). Contrary to what many believe, it was my personal study, commitment, and pondering of the doctrine and scripture of the Restored Gospel that led me out. It was official Church sources that led me out of activity. It is to the point that I cannot stay if I have any faith or intention of keeping any semblance of spiritual progress or health.

If someone were to tell me that I would leave the Church even two years ago, I would not have believed it was even possible. I was strong and active. Yet, I had my concerns but trusted in my faith, in my covenants, and in my Gospel Study practices enough to remain “faithful.” I was a person that so many other members leaned on for strength in their own struggles of activity. There seems to always be a “but.” I had experiences within my activity in the Church that were directly against what I know and trusted to be doctrine and essential principles of the Restored Gospel of Jesus Christ. These were contrary actions and experiences that the leadership of the Church themselves engaged in.

When my spouse and I entered our marriage and our first family ward after being in a Young Single Adult Ward, we experienced some difficulties that could not be swept away as a leader’s “imperfections”. My mantra had always been, “The people in the Church aren’t perfect, but the Church is perfect.” Jesus Christ is the head of the Church after all, right? We seemed to be targets of ecclesiastical abuse, along with other Millennial couples and marginalized families. My Spouse and I continued to experience or witness ecclesiastical abuse from our Bishop in this Ward, even through the COVID-19 pandemic. The actions we directly experienced, heard about, and even witnessed led to us considering whether the Leadership of the Church was even practicing doctrinal counsel as laid out in the New Testament, Book of Mormon, and especially the Doctrine and Covenants.

I, along with several other members of our Ward, individually shared our troubling experiences and concerns with the Stake President. The takeaway from these meetings was that the Stake President expressed compassion and concern for our experiences. He listened and told me that he would follow up in his capacity. Yet the actions from that Bishop continued, and even escalated in serious and illegal ways over time.

My Spouse and I raised our hands to oppose the sustaining of this Bishopric in the last Ward Conference we attended (February 2022). In that meeting, I implored the Stake President to keep the targeted members in that Ward safe. I told him in this meeting and one previously that there was a family who seemed to be taking much of the brunt of this Bishop’s abuse. They especially needed to be kept safe. The Stake President stated that he would continue to do what he was doing: minister to this family, and to this Bishop. Not even two months after this meeting, I found out from this dear friend that she and her son were endangered by this Bishop- to the point of this Bishop engaging in illegal actions as a practice of his ecclesiastical authority over this family. The Bishop engaged in actions contrary to the counsel laid out in the Church doctrine, and he could not be stopped until it was too late. I don’t blame the Stake President for this. He likely had his counsel from the General Authority Area Presidency. I now no longer trust that the General Leadership system of the Church can and will protect its members against ecclesiastical abuse that Priesthood leaders can and do engage in. Where is the application of leading Gospel principles when dealing with very apparent unrighteous dominion from local Church leaders (that was repeatedly reported from several members over years)? [i]

When I began to open myself up to asking questions of the systemic leadership practices of the Church, I allowed myself to delve deeper into other questions. More questions and concerns arose in late 2020 due to the disconnect of the Church’s revenue/wealth and how much members were paying into the Church. These concerns generally came to a head when we were “voluntold” to clean the church building- in the middle of a major worldwide pandemic. I had an infant. I work with a population that is particularly vulnerable to death from COVID-19 and other communicable diseases. I did not, and would not, help clean these Church buildings anymore. It is not worth the health of my family, or the people I serve in a professional capacity. I know the Church can afford to employ insured custodial agencies to clean all of their church buildings in the USA (and in the world). Hey, it’s a 100-billion-dollar corporation! Why in the world, if the Church claims to take care of their members and be concerned about their health, require and ask for them to clean the buildings?? To risk their own health and family to clean a community building??? When the Ensign Peak funds were initially leaked, I trusted the response and claims the Church put forth. Elder Causé stated in the Church’s official video response to the Ensign Peak leak a few years ago that this was essentially a savings fund for when a “rainy day” hit.[ii] Wouldn’t a pandemic be considered enough of a “rainy day” for them to use their so-called “savings” from Ensign Peak? If a global pandemic is not enough, then what is?

My “aha moment” of the Church refusing to employ insured custodial agencies, especially during a pandemic, led me to further investigate their use of wealth that I could no longer dismiss or ignore. LDS scriptures clearly state that the sole dependence on wealth is sinful and against the teachings of Christ and His Gospel.[iii] [iv] [v] Yet, the Church is engaging in actions and practices to protect their wealth with no consideration of the poor, underprivileged, needy, or marginalized. The Quorum of the Apostles earn a 6-figure allowance for their “service.” [vi] This is on top of their already accumulated wealth from their jobs before their apostolic callings, retirement funds from said affluent careers, and other investments. At least one of the Quorum of the Twelve is already valued at almost one billion US dollars of personal wealth before being called as an Apostle (I.e., Gary Stevenson). [vii] The church recently increased their monthly price for young missionaries to serve a mission (from $400 to $500/month). [viii] This is at a time when every community in the world is experiencing added financial stress and turmoil. A time when there should not be added burden from the “true church of God” to participate in missionary service. A former prophet stated that there would be a time that the Church could afford to operate without any tithing donations, and that the Church would stop asking members to donate tithes. [ix] Yet, we have a current apostle who stated that the Church doesn’t need tithing donations anymore, but members are still expected to pay (even members who earn less than $5/day for their full-time work). [x] [xi] So, a prophet’s powerful prophecy seems to be fulfilled, but ignored by his successors in Church leadership. I cannot trust an organization that repeatedly contradicts former prominent leaders. I cannot continue to trust an organization that accumulates wealth in a way the LDS church does, and does not use it to do good in the world. The church could be earning more than an estimated $13 billion annually from membership donations across the world. [xii] In 2020, the Church used less than even $30,000,000 of reported monetary spending to aid communities and people and need during the start of the pandemic worldwide. [xiii] A fraction of one single percent of their income and wealth is going towards the actual welfare of who they call the Children of God- people of the world.

Speaking of the welfare of the children of God, the events of August 2022 sealed my fate to my exit and transition from the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. [xiv] It was the Church’s official responses that led me out, not any other sources (besides my own actions concerning the matter). Any leaders in an organization that would sincerely try to act in good conscience and be active in protecting the vulnerable would do the opposite of what the Church has reported. [xv] A “Perfect” church led by imperfect people would be very appalled at the violent abuse reported that occurred in a span of almost a decade. They would be doing all they could to ensure the safety and protection of that (and other) family’s children. Instead, the leaders admitted they knew about the report to the Church’s Help Line. But, all they said they did to help protect those kids was they encouraged the parents -- THE ABUSERS -- to get the kids into therapy so the psychologists would report the abuse. Talk about shirking responsibility in protecting children and the vulnerable. The admission lies in the face of how the abuse cycle works. Repeated studies and evidence show that abusers will isolate their victims. They rarely, if ever, place their victims in a situation where the victims would be helped to escape the abuse, such as mental health therapies. [xvi] How disingenuous the official response is against how to effectively protect people against violent (or any) abuse. The Church had so much power and resources to stop the abuse in its tracks. Yet, they allowed it to continue for over SEVEN YEARS because of some sort of “repentance process” for the abusers??? Sure, they didn’t “break any laws.” However, how does this response show that the Church leadership follows the counsel in the scriptures of acting on a good cause? Of not being compelled to do good in all things? [xvii] [xviii]

I am employed on professional work teams to ensure that abuse from others against a vulnerable population is prevented and reported when it does occur. How can I continue to participate in an organization that says that abuse is abhorrent and unacceptable, but engages in actions that fosters and allows long-term abuse? How can I continue to participate in a religious organization that says one thing about honesty and goodness, but does the opposite? I am angry, heartbroken, and devastated. I spent my entire memory of life in this church, thinking, searching, and believing that this Church (my Church) was one of the greatest sources for good. That it is active in helping bring the marginalized out of marginalization. That this church aims to help protect against and prevent abuse of all kinds. That the Church uses the money donated by its members to be a force of great relief for those in dire need across the world. That it uses the great talents and input from others to make a better world. It is clear to me now it truly does none of those things effectively.

I do not sustain or support the First Presidency, the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, and the Quorums of the 70s. I do not trust them to have interest in my or others’ full well-being. I am by nature an intellectual with a spiritual side, thanks in large part to my upbringing in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. It is because of that spiritual intellectualism that I started to consider and delve deeper into “Church-approved” sources than ever before in the last year. The deeper I got, the farther I ran away from my trust in the General Leaders of the Church. The farther I went, the farther I knew I could not and do not trust the Church or its leadership systems. I cannot walk the line of my God-given talents to support the needy while maintaining active membership in the Church. I will not. I cannot walk the line of advocacy for the vulnerable and marginalized while maintaining active membership in the Church. I will not. I cannot remain active in this Church. I will not continue my life as an active Mormon, because I am ultimately trustless and Mormon.

Endnotes:

[i] Doctrine and Covenants 121:36-37, 41-42. “The rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness. That they may be conferred upon us, it is true; but when we undertake to cover our sins, or to gratify our pride, our vain ambition, or to exercise control or dominion or compulsion upon the souls of the children of men, in any degree of unrighteousness, behold, the heavens withdraw themselves; the Spirit of the Lord is grieved; and when it is withdrawn, Amen to the priesthood or the authority of that man. … No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned; By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile.”

[ii] https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-of-jesus-christ-finances

[iii] Matthew 19:16-24 (KJV). And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life? And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wild enter into life, keep the commandments. He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet? Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell all that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me. But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great possessions. Then said Jesus unto his disciples, Verily I say unto you, that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of heaven. And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.

[iv] 1 Timothy 6:10 (KJV). For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

[v] Jacob 2:18-19. 18 But before ye seek for riches, seek ye for the kingdom of God. And after ye have obtained a hope in Christ ye shall obtain riches, if ye seek them; and ye will seek them for the intent to ado good—to clothe the naked, and to feed the hungry, and to liberate the captive, and administer relief to the sick and the afflicted.

[vi] https://faq.churchofjesuschrist.org/do-general-authorities-get-paid

[vii] https://www.hjnews.com/news/local/debut-stock-offering-by-logan-based-ifit-could-make-latter-day-saint-apostle-almost-a/article_98990e5c-9afa-5dff-bbfb-3460db886744.html

[viii] https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/church/news/first-presidency-announces-increase-in-monthly-missionary-contribution?lang=eng

[ix] Joseph F. Smith, April 5th, 1907, General Conference Address, Page 7. “Furthermore, I want to say to you, we may not be able to reach it right away, but we expect to see the day when we will not have to ask you for one dollar of donation for any purpose, except that which you volunteer to give of your own accord, because we will have tithes sufficient in the storehouse of the Lord to pay everything that is needful for the advancement of the kingdom of God. I want to live to see that day, if the Lord will spare my life. It does not make any difference, though, so far as that is concerned, whether I live or not. That is the true policy, the true purpose of the Lord in the management of the affairs of His Church.”

[x] David A Bednar. National Press Club conference, May 26, 2022. Live feed 51:22. “The Church doesn’t need their money, but those people need the blessings that come from obeying God’s commandments.” (Emphasis added)

[xi] https://www.paylab.com/top-salaries/rankings/top-20-countries-lowest-salary?lang=en

[xii] Since the LDS Church is not public about their finances worldwide, I had to make some rough estimations as follows:

Roughly 6.8 Mil LDS members in US.

Average wage index in US: $60,575. (https://www.ssa.gov/oact/cola/AWI.html)

Estimate average tithe donors: 30% of church members

30% x 6.8mil = 2.04mil tithe donors

10% x $60,575 = $6,575 tithing donation for each average US wage.

2.04mil x $6,575 = $13,413,000,000

Estimated Tithing income from US based on average wage index: $13,413,000,000

United Kingdom tithing income from 2021: $34,408,000. (Based on government-mandated financial reports)

Australia donation income from 2021: Estimated $35mil (Based on government-mandated financial reports)

Canada donation income from 2020: Estimated $179mil (Based on government-mandated financial reports)

[xiii] https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/latter-day-saint-charities-boosts-global-efforts-2020

[xiv] https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-investigation-e0e39cf9aa4fbe0d8c1442033b894660

https://apnews.com/article/Mormon-church-sexual-abuse-takeaways-f01fba7521ddddffa89622668b54ac10

[xv] https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-offers-statement-help-line-abuse

https://newsroom.churchofjesuschrist.org/article/church-provides-further-details-about-arizona-abuse-case

[xvi] https://www.kgfamilylaw.com/the-role-of-isolation-in-domestic-violence

[xvii] Alma 32:16. “Therefore, blessed are they who humble themselves without being compelled to be humble…”

[xviii] LDS Doctrine and Covenants 58:26. “For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is a slothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.”

[morbidmemories]

Netflix true crime

Keep Sweet: Pray and Obey

Warren Jeffs saw himself as the spiritual leader of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (FLDS), an extremist offshoot of mainstream Mormonism. In reality, he created a system of abuse and coercion, forcing members of his congregation — often underage — into marriage, blind obedience, and isolation. In this docuseries, former FLDS members and survivors come forward to share their stories. Using never-before-seen VCR footage from within the FLDS community, this series provides the well-known story with a deeply human and relatable face — told through current interviews with his wives and congregation.

Lover, Stalker, Killer

As the title suggests, Lover, Stalker, Killer is a story of a romance gone wrong. In 2012, Dave Kroupa created an online dating profile after just coming out of a long-term relationship. It’s there that he meets a single mom named Liz Golyar. Soon after, he encounters another single mother, Cari Farver, while repairing her car at his auto shop. It’s an instant connection for Kroupa and Farver, but what would unfold is a twisted love triangle that leads to harassment, digital deception, and murder.

Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal

A tight-knit South Carolina community is ripped apart by a series of deadly crimes that all seem to involve one family: the Murdaughs. The two seasons of Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal delve into how a prominent family used and abused their wealth and privilege to the extreme.

Night Stalker: The Hunt for a Serial Killer

Yeah, you’ll want to lock your doors and windows for this one. Beneath the glitz and glamor of 1985 LA lurked a prolific serial killer. Richard Ramirez hunted, tortured, and murdered his victims in terrifying ways while evading capture for one long year. Night Stalker focuses on Ramirez’s victims and the investigators behind the manhunt.

The Keepers

Who killed Sister Cathy? In 1969, the 26-year-old nun from suburban Baltimore was murdered. Her sudden death stunned the town, especially her students at Archbishop Keough High School. As investigators dug into this mystery, they learned that her death may not have been the only injustice. Was Sister Catherine Cesnik murdered to cover up sexual abuse by a school priest?

The Staircase

In 2001, novelist Michael Peterson found his wife, Kathleen Peterson, dead at the bottom of a staircase in their home. Although it was reported as an accidental death, investigators believed Peterson bludgeoned his wife and staged the murder. The Staircase documents the case against Peterson and poses the question: Did he do it?

Credit:

[female-malice]

This ruling expands the clergy privilege beyond what the legislature intended by allowing churches to conceal crimes against children.

Clergy in Arizona, as in many other states, are required to report information about child sexual abuse or neglect to law enforcement or child welfare authorities. An exception to that law — known as the clergy-penitent privilege — allows members of the clergy who learn of the abuse through spiritual confessions to keep the information secret.

An Associated Press investigation of the clergy privilege shows it exists in 33 states and that the Mormon church, often joined by the Catholic Church, Jehovah’s Witnesses and other faiths, have successfully lobbied against attempts to reform or eliminate it.

[redpandarascal]

You know what, if you want to counter cults, you’re going to have to research and educate.

Here is how to properly edit the original post, to make it educational. Make your post into a link to the article in the screenshot. (Find the article by typing it into google.) The Twitter addition needs to be removed entirely.

The Twitter addition does not add onto the conversation, and in fact, it detracts from it, in the way that playing a “game of telephone” confuses a message.

The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (FLDS) and the Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (LDS), are two DIFFERENT institutions of religious abuse, that share one origin.

Why does this matter? Well, if you ever want to be able to offer your best chance at helping people who are victims of these groups, you need to actually know what’s going on. Telling people that Mormons at large practice polygamy is just making people less educated, not more educated. Telling people that “Mormons practice polygamy!” simply isn’t true, because the average Mormon you’ll meet (and maybe keep in mind that THEY don’t necessarily like the term Mormon?) definitely does not do that. They’ll think you don’t know what you’re talking about when it comes to their church- serving to strengthen their convictions.

Glossary of Mormonism

First, I urge you all to take the time to educate yourselves on your own. This isn’t going to be a complete guide, but, I want to try and define things in a way that specifically clears up the misconception you might get from reading this post.

LDS movement- umbrella term for various groups that branched out from each other. They all started with Joseph Smith, and there were various schisms. The history of any and all religion is all about the schisms. But I digress. I’m not even going to talk about all the possible Mormons today! I don’t know anything about whatever Community of Christ is, so, I don’t want to speak to that until I know what I’m saying, but, same origin.

Mormon- generally this is what we call them, not what they call themselves.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (LDS)-This is the big formal official Mormon church. The biggest of all the groups that trace their origins to Joseph Smith. How big is this group? Well, that really depends on who you ask, because the church inflates these statistics. The last figures I can find that are actually likely to be accurate are from 2005, so, the world’s demographics have probably shifted some in the last 20 years, but they put the figure of active members at 4 million. If you run into a Mormon who’s trying to recruit, I believe this would be the kind you’d encounter. They distinctly do NOT practice polygamy. You could potentially encounter them anywhere in the world, especially because they do recruiting missions. (Remember- the point of these isn’t really to recruit you, it’s to show these young men that the outside world will reject them if they try to leave, so, don’t hear them out about Mormonism, but be kind to them, for fucks sake.)

The Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of the Latter Day Saints (FLDS)- This is the group of Mormons that DO practice polygamy. I highly recommend the book “Escape” by Caroline Jessop. (I read it in high school, when I was in Milford Connecticut, for convention, to hear The Truth preached and gather with The Friends from Thursday-Sunday, and it helped me put a piece of my own puzzle into place, that, while my circumstances were nowhere near as brutal as hers, something was wrong. Anyway.) This is a much smaller group of Mormons. Hildale in Utah and Colorado City in Arizona make up the border community of Short Creek, where the FLDS was centered and remains. The article “A real estate boom transforms a community with a polygamist past” puts the number of members at nine thousand.

Both these groups are institutions of spiritual abuse, they are not the same group, don’t conflate them.

Huh

[thepete77]

Did you know Adolf Hitler considered himself a Christian?

“I say, my feelings as a Christian points me to my Lord and Savior as a fifhjter. It points me to the man who once in loneliness, surrounded only by a few follows, recognized these Jews for what they were. Who god’s truth, was greatest not as a sufferer but a fighter. “

The Aryan Brotherhood, founded and established in Hayden Idaho, was influenced heavily by the racist and extreme right wing Christian Identity Movement, was as well considering themselves a traditional protestant group. Their main central group and splinter groups use the words Church and priesthood as titles and use Pastor as a religious designation.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, teach that the mark of Cain mentioned in the book of Genesis is darker skin than white, and that one can know the spiritual level of someone of color by the color level of their skin.

An argument that is used by Christians is that it is the wrong type that enact this type of behavior and original scripture does not support this focus, the book of numbers that declare invasion as commands against the neighboring countries, taking their children and wives as captives on several accounts, and destroying every last being and item on other accounts, shows otherwise. They argue that's the old testament and not spiritually correct, yet in the new testament Jesus says he has not come to bring peace, but a sword, and not to destroy the law and the prophets but to fulfill them. in the book of Isaiah it is declared over and over that God is the same yesterday, today; and forever, and that he is the Alpha and Omega, declared as well in The Book of Revelation.

The Christians in the beginning was a small cult following, that during the time of Constantine I became the leading authorized religion of Rome that became a basis of established law against Pagans who were consecutively suppressed, and later the international issues of the crusades and inquisitions became active putting many to death, in prison, and converted by force otherwise.

The American eras of slavery brought African slaves they acquired from around the world, who indigenously practiced voodoo in large amounts, who practiced even still within secrecy, adapting their names and symbols under suppression of their masters.

Christians will say that's all in the past, and its not them, yet Billy Graham focused on prosylatizing with the Billy Graham crusades, after the name crusades during and before the crusades and Inquisitions. Pastor John Hagae preaches consecutively against modern media content like heavy metal, and witchcraft, and their are Christian focuses against witchcraft in Law Enforcement teachings that Christians still support.

Three Juveniles in West Memphis were wrongfully accused of murders in a heavily Christian populated area, Damien Echols, one who was among the three convicted, was released from Death Row under a Plea agreement, and became a well known Author. Before this conviction in 1994, there was the Satanic Panic era when family members accused other family members of ritual abuse, certain individuals were released from Prison after several years in 2014 when accused of Child Sexual molestation.

While those accused of crimes not related to witchcraft are not put to death, they often do spend prison time with focuses of documents and records of heavy mentions of witchcraft directly.

Social Media searches return Christian junk media featuring their views against Satanism and witchcraft, and they still preach in major churches that it is wrong.

Socially and emotionally Christianity in the beginning was against pagans and witchcraft, and still are. The only things that have really changed is more public access to literature, and not being put to death to hastily. There are still very hostile emotions against it, and the people who practice it.

[judahmaccabees]

callous money grubbers pretending to be spiritual to usurp Good, damned

burying gold in banks instead of ever helping others you can't use, so ugly & disgusting, demonic, hateful, abusive, evil, and selfish complete

[lowkeynando]

that "spiritual abuse can take place in the context of doctrinally sound, Bible-preaching, fundamentalist, conservative Christianity."•[1]

Enroth outlines the backgrounds of the leaders of these groups and explains how the groups evolved to the point of becoming spiritually abusive. The Kingdom of the Cults, first published in 1965, is a reference book of the Christian countercult movement in the United States, written by Baptist minister and counter-cultist Walter Ralston Martin. [1] As of 2019, the book is in its sixth updated edition (hardback ISBN 9780764232657). Martin examines a large number of new religious movements; included are major groups such as Christian Science, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Jehovah's Witnesses, Armstrongism, Theosophy, the Bahá'i Faith, Unitarian Universalism, Scientology, as well as minor groups including various New Age and groups based on Eastern religions. The beliefs of other world religions such as Islam and Buddhism are also discussed.

In coverage of the Evangelical-Adventist controversy, the book partially rehabilitated the reputation of Seventh Day Adventist Christianity.

He covers each group's history and teachings, and contrasts them with those of mainstream

Christianity. [1]|2]

In contrast to accepted definition, [3] Martin defines "a cult" as "a group of people gathereds CLONES

[occupyhades]

Arizona Supreme Court upholds Latter-day Saint priest-penitent privilege in sex abuse case | KSL.com

The Arizona Supreme Court has ruled that the state's priest-penitent privilege law exempts The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints from revealing information from a confidential spiritual confession.

[theotherjudas]

Remember Who You Are

I can’t tell you how many times I heard this as a kid. Mormon parents LOVE this one, don’t they? If you’re an ex-mo, I’ll bet you’ve heard it too. 

Every time I left the house, my mom would call out: “Remember who you are!” Every time I’d go to hang out with friends or to a dance, “Remember who you are!” When I left for college, “Remember who you are!” 

“Remember who you are.”

What a loaded phrase. Apparently straightforward. Deceptively simple. 

As a teenager, I took “remember who you are” to mean, essentially, “be a good person” or, more to the point, “you’d better not get into trouble.” But as I got older, I started to unpack what was really going on. 

Let’s take it piece by piece. 

“REMEMBER...” Mormons, as I’m sure many of us recall, believe in a “veil of forgetfulness” that falls over the minds of our spirits when they enter mortal bodies. At birth, we “forget” everything of that existence - living with our Heavenly Father, the “war in heaven,” etc. We “forget” our true nature as sons and daughters of a loving, all-powerful god and “joint heirs with Christ” We “forget” the “Plan of Salvation.” And because we “forget” we must be taught - and that’s what the church is for - to show wayward spirits the way to eternal life. 

Now, this is undeniably bullshit. Many religions make claims to earthly primacy to retroactively legitimize their “truths” of the universe and morality (ie, Catholicism claiming a direct lineage from Jesus, through the apostle Peter, to the pope today; Islam claiming to be the umbrella faith of which Judaism and Christianity are merely wayward offshoots... despite being the latest of the three middle eastern monotheistic religions to develop). Mormonism too, claims a priesthood lineage from Jesus to ol’ Joe Smith down to the prophets today. But they take it step farther(... or is is a step back?). Mormon teachings claim to tell us what happened TO US before the world even existed. The starting point of their cosmological narrative includes US. 

And that puts massive pressure on TBMs. Not only are you required to live up to a strict moral code in daily life; not only do you live under intense scrutiny from your leaders and peers; BUT you must also bear the burden of your supposed spiritual legacy. To “remember who you are” means not only “you  must behave the way your leaders and parents expect you to AND you must never let the “gentile world” see mormonism in a bad light through your personal actions”... it ALSO means “if you act contrary to the will of god in ANY thing, you are literally spitting in the face of your real father, god.” Do you see why family structure is so important in mormonism? Heavenly Father knows best... 

In mormonism, once you “know” the truth - your spiritual origin story - the greatest sin is to deny it, to turn your back on that legacy. To become apostate. Apostasy is the worst sin a mormon can commit. Even murderers and rapists go to the lowest heaven. To deny the pre-mortal existence is to shake free of the shackles the church’s personalized self-control mechanisms. And if the church is to survive, its members cannot “forget who they are.” That is what is means to “REMEMBER.” 

“...WHO YOU ARE.” Beyond selling you a narrative of your pre-earth life, mormonism also hands you a blueprint (a “script-ure,” if you will) for your mortal life. It’s all very clear, and indoctrinated into mormon kids as soon as they can talk... or rather, sing. In primary, children sing songs about getting married in the temple (creepy as fuck, toeing the line of “grooming”), about how they know the church is true (HOW???), about bishops and prophets being fathers (again, a culture of grooming, ripe for abuse to flourish), about adoring the temple, about wanting to get baptized, about having a deep testimony, about loving jesus, and on and on and on. 

These are kids as young as four. How the fuck can any four-year-old understand WHAT IT MEANS to be baptized? to commit oneself to a religion they barely understand at eight, let alone at twelve or eighteen? How does a four-year-old know who jesus is, let alone what his supposed sacrifice means? How is a four-year-old supposed to have a testimony? about ANY aspect of the church’s teaching? have you read Mormon Doctrine?? it is a minefield of esoteric theology most bishops cannot parse to save their lives. 

My point is that mormon children are set upon the “straight and narrow” early in life and told to never falter. And it should be easy, right? At eight, get baptized. At twelve (for young men) get the Aaronic priesthood. At eighteen, go on a mission. Return faithfully. Get married in the temple. Have a bunch of kids. Raise them in the church. Get all your temple ordinances. Pay tithing. Fulfill your callings. Endure to the end. And then you die. Easy as pie. You never have to think, never have to question - it’s all laid out for you in simple black and white. 

So when mormon parens tell their kids “remember WHO YOU ARE,” what they’re really saying is “don’t do anything to jeopardize the plan.” They’re saying “remember who I WANT you to be.” Mormon parents are controlled too - I’m not saying they’re all evil (though some undoubtably are). But they literally have no conception of how to handle things if it goes off the plan. I can tell you from firsthand experience, a kid who doesn’t go on a mission can send an entire family - and entire ward! - into a frenzy. 

SO. REMEMBER this instead:

YOU ARE WHOever you want to be. You are your own person, with your own identity. You don’t owe your life to ANYONE - not a parent, not a prophet.  

WHO YOU ARE is up to you. Do good and you will be a good person. You are in control of your own life plan. It’s up to you to make the most of it. 

REMEMBER to be true to yourself. Trust your instincts - not the “still small voice” of the church’s control - but your own sense of right and wrong. 

YOU ARE WORTHY OF LOVE AND KINDNESS not because you’re following someone else’s rules, but because you are a human being. Simple as that. 

Reclaim the phrase: Remember who you are. You’re you. And that’s the best thing in the universe to be. 

[eve-ate-the-right-fruit]

stop labeling organizations, label behaviors instead

In all my blogging about being a queer member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, I’ve never given my opinion on whether the church is a cult or not, mostly because I think there’s more nuance to the topic than that. In my experience with the church, where I’ve been encouraged to learn and figure things out for myself, where I’m out and proud to my local congregation, where I openly say I don’t agree with church leaders on quite a few issues, I can’t honestly describe it as cultish.

BUT, my experience is only one out of many, and there are others who’ve left the church following ecclesiastical abuse. If you have survived this kind of abuse, and it helps you to label your harmful experience as cultish, then you absolutely should. 

We all should know how to identify abusive behaviors from anyone, whether done as part of a religious institution or not. Even if I don’t consider my overall experience in the church cultish, there are toxic aspects of the church that I make a point of pushing back against, where I have to say, “This is the kind of behavior that makes people think we’re a cult.” And I keep finding church members who agree with me. We want to make our spiritual home as safe as we can for as many as possible, because caring for each other is the best way to practice our religion.

[samwisethewitch]

Coping with religious trauma

CONTENT WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS, TRAUMA RECOVERY, AND HOMOPHOBIA. The advice in this post is intended for an adult audience, not for those who are legal minors.

A lot of people find their way to paganism after having traumatic experiences with organized religion, especially in countries like the United States, where 65% of the population identifies as Christian. (This number is actually at an all-time low — historically, the percentage has been much higher.) Paganism, which is necessarily less dogmatic and hierarchical than the Abrahamic religions, offers a chance to experience religion without having to fit a certain mold. This can be extremely liberating for people who have felt hurt, abused, or ignored by mainstream religion.

To avoid making generalizations that might offend people, I’ll share my own story as an example.

My family joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, better known as the Mormons, when I was nine years old. The Mormons are an extremely conservative sect of evangelical Christianity that places a heavy emphasis on maintaining a strong community that upholds their religious values. The problem with that is that Mormon values are inherently racist, sexist, homophobic, and transphobic. As a teenager in the Mormon Church, I was told that as a woman, my only purpose in life was to marry a (Mormon) man and raise (Mormon) children. I was discouraged from pursuing a college education if it meant delaying marriage. I was not allowed to participate in the full extent of religious ritual because I was not a man. I was not allowed to express myself in ways that went against Mormon culture, and I kept my bisexuality secret for fear I would be ostracized. I didn’t have any sort of support system outside the Church, which inevitably made the mental health issues that come with being a queer woman in a conservative Christian setting much, much worse.

I left the Mormons when I was seventeen, and by that time I had some major issues stemming from my time in the Church. I had been extremely depressed and anxious for most of my teen years. I struggled with internalized misogyny and homophobia. I had very low self-esteem. I had anxiety around sex and sexuality that would take years of therapy and self-work to overcome. I wanted to form a connection with the divine, but I wasn’t sure if I was worthy of such a connection.

I was attracted to paganism, specifically Wicca, because it seemed like everything Mormonism wasn’t. Wicca teaches equality between men and women, with a heavy focus on the Goddess in worship. It places an emphasis on doing what is right for you, as long as it doesn’t harm anyone else. It encourages sexuality and healthy sexual expression. Learning about Wicca, and later other types of paganism, helped me develop the kind of healthy spirituality I’d never experienced as a Mormon. Although Wicca is no longer the backbone of my religious practice, it was a necessary and deeply healing step on my spiritual journey.

I’m not sharing my story to gain sympathy or to make anyone feel bad — I’m sharing it because my situation is not an uncommon one in pagan circles. The vast majority of pagans are converts, meaning they didn’t grow up pagan. Some had healthy upbringings in other faiths, or no faith at all, and simply found that paganism was a better fit for them. Others, like myself, had deeply traumatic experiences with organized religion and are attracted to paganism because of the freedom, autonomy, and empowerment it offers.

If you fall into this latter category, this post is for you. Untangling the threads of religious trauma can be an extremely difficult and overwhelming task. In this post, I lay out six steps to recovery based on my own experiences and those of other people, both pagan and non-pagan, who have lived through religious trauma.

While following these steps will help jumpstart your spiritual healing, it’s important to remember that healing is not a linear process — especially healing from emotional, mental, and spiritual trauma. You may have relapses, you may feel like you’re moving in circles, and you may still have bad days in five or ten years. That’s okay. That’s part of the healing process. Go easy on yourself, and let your journey unfold naturally.

Step One: Cut all ties with the group that caused your trauma

Or, at least, cut as many ties as reasonably possible.

Obviously, if you’re still participating in a religious organization that has caused you pain, the first step is to leave! But before you do, make sure you have an exit plan to help you disengage safely and gracefully.

To make your exit plan, start by asking yourself what the best, worst, and most likely case scenarios are, and be honest in your answers. Obviously, the best case scenario is that you leave, everyone accepts it, and all is well. The worst case scenario is that someone tries to prevent you from leaving — you may be harassed by missionaries or concerned churchgoers, for example. But what is the most likely case scenario? That depends on the religious community, their beliefs, and how involved you were in the first place. When making your exit plan, prepare for the most likely scenario, but have a backup plan in case the worst case scenario happens.

Once you’ve prepared yourself for the best, worst, and most likely outcomes, choose a friend, significant other, or family member who can help you make your exit. Ideally, this person is not a member of the group you are trying to leave. Their role is mainly to provide emotional support, although they may also need to be willing to run off any well-meaning missionaries who come calling. This person can also help you transition after you leave. For example, you might make a plan to get coffee with them every week during the time your old religious community holds worship services.

Finally, make your strategy for leaving. Choose a date and don’t put it off! If you have any responsibilities within the group, send in a letter of resignation. Figure out who you’ll need to have conversations with about your leaving — this will likely include any family members or close friends who are still part of the group. Schedule those conversations. Make sure to have them in public places, where people will be less likely to make a scene.

If you feel it is necessary, you may want to request that your name be removed from the group’s membership records so you don’t get emails, phone calls, or friendly visits from them in the future. You may not feel the need to do this, but if contact with the group triggers a mental health crisis, this extra step will help keep you safe.

Of course, it’s not always possible to completely cut ties with a group after leaving. You may have family members, a significant other, or close friends who are still members. If this is the case, you’ll need to establish some clear boundaries. Politely but firmly tell them that, although you’re glad their faith adds value to their lives, you are not willing to be involved in their religious activities. Let them know that this is what is best for your mental and emotional health and that you still value your relationship with them.

Try to make compromises that allow you to preserve the relationship without exposing you to a traumatic religious environment. For example, if your family is Christian and always spends all day on Christmas at church, offer to celebrate with them the day after, once their religious commitments are over.

Hopefully, your loved ones can respect these boundaries. If not, you may need to distance yourself or walk away altogether. If they are knowingly undermining your attempts to take care of yourself, they don’t deserve to be in your life.

During this time, you may find it helpful to read other people’s exit stories online or in books. One of my personal favorites is the book Girl at the End of the World by Elizabeth Esther. Hearing other people’s stories can help you remember that other people have been through similar situations and made it out on the other side. You will too.

Step Two: Seek professional help

I cannot overstate the importance of professional counseling when dealing with trauma of any kind, including religious trauma. Therapists and counselors have the benefit of professional training. They are able to be objective, since they’re approaching the situation from the outside. They can keep you from getting bogged down in your own thoughts and feelings.

I understand that not everyone has access to therapy. I am very lucky to have insurance that covers mental health counseling, but I know not everyone has that privilege. However, there are some options that make therapy more affordable.

There may be an organization in your area that offers free or low-cost therapy — if you live in the U.S., you can find information about these services by checking the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine or visiting mentalhealth.gov. You can also look for therapists who use a sliding scale for payment, which means they determine an hourly rate based on the client’s income. And finally, if you have a little bit of extra cash you may want to look into therapy apps like BetterHelp or Talkspace, which are typically cheaper than in-person therapy.

If none of those options work for you, the next best option is to join a support group. Support groups allow you to connect with other people whose experiences are similar to yours and, unlike therapy, they allow you to get advice and feedback from multiple people. These groups are often free, although some charge a small fee.

Finding the right group for you is important. You’re unlikely to find a group for people recovering from religious trauma but, depending on the nature of your trauma, you may fit right in with a grief and loss group, an addiction recovery group, or a group for adult survivors of child abuse. If you’re a member of the LGBTQ+ community, you may be able to find a queer support group. (The LGBTQ+ club at my college was an invaluable resource in my recovery!) Depending on your area, you may also be able to find groups for specific mental and emotional issues like depression or anxiety.

Make sure to do your research before attending a meeting. Find out what, if anything, the group charges, who can join, and whether they use a curriculum or have unstructured sessions. See if you can find a statement about their values and philosophy. Make a note of where meetings are held and of who is running the group. Some support groups meet in churches and may or may not have a religious element to their curriculum. It’s best to avoid religious groups — the last thing you need right now is to be preached to.

Getting other people involved in your recovery will make you feel less alone and prevent you from getting stuck in your own head. A good therapist, counselor, or support group can help you realize what you need to work on and give you ideas for how to approach it.

Step Three: Deprogramming

“Deprogramming” refers to the practice of undoing brainwashing and reintroducing healthy thought patterns. This term is normally used in the context of cult survivors and their recovery, but deprogramming techniques can also be helpful for people recovering from a lifetime of toxic religious rhetoric.

To begin the process of deprogramming, familiarize yourself with the way organizations use thought control to shape the behavior of their members. I recommend starting with the work of Steven Hassan — his BITE model is a handy way to classify types of thought control.

The BITE model lays out four types of control. There’s Behavior Control, which controls what members do and how they spend their free time. (For example, requiring members to attend multiple hours-long meetings each week.) There’s Information Control, which restricts members’ access to information. (For example, denying certain aspects of the group’s history.) There’s Thought Control, which shapes the way members think. (For example, classifying certain thoughts as sinful or dirty.) And finally there’s Emotional Control, which manipulates members’ emotions. (For example, instilling fear of damnation or punishment.)

Here’s a simple exercise to get you started with your deprogramming. Divide a blank sheet of paper into four equal sections. Label one section “Behavior,” one “Information,” one “Thought,” and one “Emotions.” Now, in each section, make a list of the ways your old religious group controlled — and maybe still controls — that area of your life. Once you’ve completed your lists, choose a single item from one of your lists to work on undoing.

For example, let’s say that in your “Information” column, you’ve written that you were discouraged from reading certain books because they contained “evil” ideas. (For a lot of people, this was Harry Potter. For me, it was The Golden Compass.) Pick up one of those books, and read it or listen to it as an audiobook. Once you’ve read it, write down your thoughts. Did you enjoy it? Why or why not? Why do you think your group banned it? What was in this book that they didn’t want you to know about? Write it down.

Once you’ve worked on the first thing, choose something else. Keep going until you’ve undone all the items on your lists.

If you want to go further with deprogramming, I recommend the book Recovering Agency by Luna Lindsey. Although this book is specifically written for former Mormons, I genuinely believe it would be helpful to former members of other controlling religious groups as well. Lindsey does an excellent job of explaining how thought control works and of connecting it to real world examples, as well as deconstructing those ideas. Her book has been a huge help in my recovery process, and I highly recommend it.

Step Four: Replace toxic beliefs and practices with healthy ones

This goes hand-in-hand with step three, and if you’re already working on deprogramming then you’ll already have started replacing your unhealthy beliefs. This is the turning point in the recovery process. You’re no longer just undoing what others have done to you — now you get an opportunity to decide what you want to believe and do going forward. This is the time to let go of things like denial of your desires, fear of divine punishment, and holding yourself to unattainable standards. Get used to living in a way that makes you happy, without guilt.

Notice how each step builds on the previous steps. Therapy and deprogramming can help you identify what beliefs and behaviors need to be adjusted or replaced. Your therapist, support group, and/or emotional support person can help you make these changes and follow through on them.

These new beliefs and practices don’t have to be religious — in fact, it’s better if they aren’t. If you can live a healthy, happy, balanced life without religion, you’ll be in a better position to choose a religion that is the right fit for you, if that is something you want.

Your new healthy, non-religious practices may include: mindfulness meditation, nature walks, journaling, reading, exercise, energy work, learning a hobby or craft, or spending time with loves ones — or it might include none of these things, and that’s okay too. Now is the time to find what brings you joy and start doing it every day.

Step Five: Ritual healing

This is an optional step, but it’s one that has been deeply healing for me. You may find it helpful to design and perform a ritual to mark your recovery.

Note that when I say “ritual,” I don’t necessarily mean magic. Rituals serve a psychological purpose as well as a spiritual one. They can act as powerful symbolic events that mark a turning point in our lives or reinforce what we already know and believe. Even if you don’t believe in magic, even if you’re the least spiritual person you know, you can still benefit from ritual.

You might choose to perform a ritual to finalize your healing, or to symbolically throw off the chains of your old religion. It can be elaborate or simple, long or short, joyful or solemn. It might include lighting a candle and saying a few words. It might include ecstatic dance. It might include drawing or painting a representation of all the negative emotions associated with your old religion, then ritually destroying it. The possibilities are literally endless. (If you’re looking for ritual ideas, I recommend the book Light Magic for Dark Times by Lisa Marie Basile.)

One type of ritual that some people find very empowering is unbaptism. An unbaptism is exactly what it sounds like — the opposite of a baptism. The idea is that, if a baptism makes a Christian, an unbaptism makes someone un-Christian, no longer part of that lineage. It is a ritual rejection of Christianity. (Obviously, this only applies if you’re a former Christian, though some of the following suggestions could be adjusted to fit a rejection of other religions.)

If you’re interested in unbaptism, here are some ideas for how it could be done:

A classic method of unbaptism is to recite the Lord’s Prayer backwards under a full moon. (For a non-Christians version, use a significant prayer from whatever religion you have left.)

Run a bath. Add a tiny pinch of sulfur (a.k.a. brimstone) to the water. Get into the bath and say, “By water I was baptized, and by water my baptism is rejected.” Submerge your entire body under the water for several seconds. When you come back up, your unbaptism is complete. (You may want to shower after this one. Sulfur does not smell good.)

The Detroit Satanic Temple has a delightfully dramatic unbaptism ritual. For a DIY version, you will need holy water or some other relic from the faith you were baptized in, a fireproof dish, a black candle, and an apple or other sweet fruit. Light the candle and place it in your fireproof dish. Toss some holy water onto the flame (not enough to extinguish it) and say, “I cast my chains into the dust of hell.” Take a bite of the apple and say, “I savor the fruit of knowledge and disobedience.” Finally, declare proudly, “I am unbaptized.” You can add “in the name of Satan” at the end or leave it out, depending on your comfort level.

Personally, I’ve never felt the need to unbaptize myself. I’ve ritually rejected my Mormon upbringing in other ways. Maybe someday I’ll decide to go for the unbaptism, but I’ve never really felt like I needed it. Likewise, you’ll need to decide for yourself what ritual(s) will work for you.

Step Six: Honor your recovery

Our first reaction to trauma is to hide it away and never speak of it again. When we do this, we do ourselves a disservice. Your recovery is a part of your life story. You had the strength to walk away from a situation that was hurting you, and that deserves to be celebrated! Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come!

You may choose to honor your recovery by celebrating an important date every year, like the day you decided to leave the group, the date of the last meeting you attended, or the date you were removed from the membership records. Keep this celebration fun and light — get drinks with friends, bake a cake for yourself, or just take a few moments to silently acknowledge your journey.

If you feel like having a party is a bit much, you can also honor your recovery by talking to other people about your experiences. Share your story with others. If you’re feeling shy, try sharing your story anonymously online. (Reddit has several forums specifically for anonymous stories.) You’ll be amazed by how validating it can be to tell people what you’ve been through. `

Another way to honor your recovery is to work for personal and religious freedom for all people. Protest laws with religious motivations. Donate to organizations that campaign for the separation of church and state. Educate people about how to recognize an unhealthy religious organization. Let your own story motivate you to help others who are in similar situations.

And most of all, take joy in your journey. Be proud of yourself for how far you’ve come, but know that your recovery is a lifelong journey. Be gentle and understanding with yourself. You are doing what is right for you, and no god or spirit worthy of worship could ever be upset by that.

[pashterlengkap]

Protestors demand end to law that allows Mormon Church to not report child abuse

Mormon leaders and sex abuse survivors are protesting Utah state legislators to change a law that allows church officials not to report any admissions of child sexual abuse that occur during a religious confession. The protests have occurred amidst an investigative report by the AP which accused the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (the Mormon Church) of misusing an internal reporting helpline “to divert abuse accusations against church members away from law enforcement and instead to church attorneys, who may bury the problem, leaving victims in harm’s way.” The AP’s report examined child sex abuse lawsuits against the church. One such lawsuit, brought by the molested children of convicted sex abuser Paul Douglas Adams, accused the church of allowing their molestation to continue even after Adams’ admitted the abuse to church Bishop John Herrod. The bishop followed church policy and contacted the Mormon Abuse Helpline. The helpline is staffed by social workers who refer reports of abuse to church attorneys in Salt Lake City. The church says all helpline calls are protected by attorney-client privilege. The line’s workers also destroy all call records on a daily basis, leaving them unavailable to prosecutors or victims’ attorneys. The church attorneys said that because Adams’ admission to the crime occurred during a confession, Bishop Herrod and his fellow Bishop Robert Mauzy were legally bound to keep the abuse secret under clergy-penitent privilege. Adams continued molesting his kids for seven more years until he was arrested in 2017 with no help from the church. Judge Wallace Hoggatt called the children’s abuse “one of the most horrendous cases of child molestation” he’s ever presided over. In their lawsuit, Adams’ children allege, “The Mormon Church implements the Helpline not for the protection and spiritual counseling of sexual abuse victims… but for (church) attorneys to snuff out complaints and protect the Mormon Church from potentially costly lawsuits.” Over 20 U.S. states have laws requiring clergy and medical professionals who work with children to report any reasonable belief of child abuse or neglect to police or the state Department of Child Safety. However, the laws contain loopholes allowing clergy to withhold the info if the church determines it’s “reasonable and necessary” to do so under church doctrine, the AP reported. The church has said that its helpline “has everything to do with protecting children and has nothing to do with cover-up.” “These bishops did nothing wrong. They didn’t violate the law, and therefore they can’t be held liable,” Mormon church attorney William Maledon said. Among the victims, protesters, and legislators fighting to change the law are Miranda and Matthew Whitworth, a couple who adopted Adams’s youngest daughter at age two. “We just don’t understand why [the church is] paying all these lawyers to fight this,” Matthew Whitworth said. “Just change the policy.” Utah Gov. Spencer Cox (R) and lawmakers from various religions and political affiliations have supported changing the law. Utah state Rep. Angela Romero (D) told Religious News Service, “I’m tired of making excuses for perpetrators.” Her proposal to reform the law has Mormon support, she added. Stuart Smith, a former Mormon bishop, also supports changing the church’s abuse reporting guidelines. “Such a requirement, codified in state law, may have the additional benefit of allowing the helpline for bishops now operated by the LDS church to better perform its stated purpose — which is to provide expertise and resources to help the victims of abuse,” Smith said. http://dlvr.it/SXLNKR

[automatismoateo]

Protesters demand Utah require clergy to report sex abuse and rally against a state law that exempts Mormon leaders from being required to report child sexual abuse. via /r/atheism

Protesters demand Utah require clergy to report sex abuse and rally against a state law that exempts Mormon leaders from being required to report child sexual abuse.

https://religionnews.com/2022/08/22/protesters-demand-utah-require-clergy-to-report-sex-abuse/

Survivors and faith leaders rallied Friday at the Utah State Capitol to demand change to a state law that exempts religious leaders from requirements that they report child sexual abuse brought to their attention in spiritual confessions.

“If we as a people, as churches and as a state are failing to protect our children, then we are failing,” Lindsey Lundholm, the rally’s organizer, told an audience of more than 100 in Salt Lake City that included survivors of abuse applauding while tears streamed down their faces.

Lundholm spoke of her firsthand experience of abuse growing up in Idaho as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As a young girl and member of the faith widely known as the Mormon church, she said she told a local bishop about her abuse and instead of reporting it to law enforcement, the bishop guided her abuser to seek forgiveness from God.

Submitted August 22, 2022 at 05:14PM by Leeming (From Reddit https://ift.tt/PJsnLhA)