#Space Junk AU | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thatonegeekygirl · 2 years ago

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Makin' My Way Downtown (A Spacejunk AU Invader Zim Fanfic)

as promised an unfortunate amount of time ago, here is a more-long-then-originally-intended and somewhat convoluted fanfiction for @l-ii-zz's spacejunk au! i strongly suggest checking her page out before reading this so you can get a sense of where the chracters are at--and also meet her iz oc, Urania! basic storyline, zim, dib and gir head out for a nice afternoon at a mooga mart on Quanax. banter is exchanged, absurd amounts of snacks are bought, zims past comes back to bite him, general shenanigens occur. zadf, adult dib, and lots of made-up space language.

here’s the link the the space junk au masterpost:

now, on to the fic!!

The Poltergeist cruised through space, its hull glinting in the light from a nearby star. Operating systems hummed their content song. Little bits of rock bumped against the solar windshield, not even leaving a scratch. Scanners sweeped back and forth, a vigilant eye for enemy vessels or heavenly bodies, alert and attuned. Meticulous. Serene. Controlled.

Unlike the beings found inside it.

“GIR!” Zim shrieked for the umpteenth time that day. “Cease that infernal noise and get over here!”

The little robot ignored him.

Zim sighed deeply. “...Urania.”

“GIR, come along,” the ship's AI ordered.

“Comin’ ship lady!” GIR called cheerfully, dropping the two metal rods he’d been banging together and skipping over to the console. He jumped into Zim’s lap and Zim growled once before tucking GIR in beside him in the pilot seat.

“Dib, make sure we don’t run into an asteroid, if you would.” Zim transferred command of the ship to Dib’s control pad. “GIR, give me your leg.”

“No promises,” Dib clipped. “Where’re we going again?”

“No, GIR, the other leg!” Zim groaned, as GIR threw his normal appendage in the air. “Urgh, Dib, weren’t you listening?”

“Nope,” Dib said frankly.

“Insufferable,” Zim muttered. He grasped GIR’s replacement leg and drew a multi-use tool from his PAK. He began tightening the connection between the leg and GIR’s metal shell. “We are going to planet Quanax in the Froogl system, as I told you before.”

“What are we going there for?” Dib asked, eyeing a particularly big piece of space junk as it floated past them.

“If you must know, it is the site for the largest Mooga Mart in the galaxy! Which you would know, if you paid any attention, Dib,” Zim scorned. He dropped GIR’s leg, and GIR happily settled into the seat, kicking his legs with glee.

“Mooga Mart?” Dib snickered. “What the hell is a Mooga Mart?”

“It’s a Mooga Mart.” Zim blinked at him. Upon realizing the human required more explanation, he groaned and continued. “Mega Mart is fine. Mega Mega Mart is better. Mega Mega Mega Mart is better than that. Extra Mega Mart is better than that. Extremely Fantastic Mart is eh. And Mooga Mart is the best! For Irk’s sake, how long have you been in space!?”

“Apparently not long enough to learn about the different levels of Mart,” Dib commented, grinning to himself as Zim rather seriously puzzled over Dib’s lack of knowledge of Mooga Marts. “What’s a Mooga Mart got anyway?” “Irken products!” Zim declared, tossing a finger into the air. “All the Irken products!”

“Gee.” Dib raised his eyebrows. “How come we haven’t gone to one before? Considering they’ve got all the Irken products.”

“Well. We’ve never traveled close to one before.” Zim shrugged. “Oh!” He pointed to the screen, which now displayed a flashing icon that looked distinctly like a mini-Woolmart. “We’ve arrived!”

“Urania, set auto-approach,” Dib said, flicking the main engines off.

“Oh, certainly, Captain.” Urania’s invisible touch guided the ship towards the planet.

“...I honestly can’t tell if that was sarcastic or not,” Dib muttered.

“Ha!” Zim grinned impishly. “Why, Dib, she is so obviously serious! You are the Captain, the King, the Big Kahuna, Our All-Powerful Leader, the Bulk Bag of Cheddar Cheese–”

“Christ, I get the point!” Dib swiped a hand at Zim’s face.

The Poltergeist swerved around ringed planets of various colors, ducked beneath a massive freighter ship, and joined the line of spacecraft easing their way into Quanax’s atmosphere.

“GIR, see that fast food mascot?” Zim gestured to an obnoxious sign featuring a bulbous alien creature with an absurdly large head, holding a seeping burger-like object and declaring, ‘EAT THIS FOOD!!’ in bubble letters. He wrapped an arm around GIR’s shoulders and threw a hand into the air. “His head is nearly as big as Dib’s!”

GIR ooo’d loudly as a cackling Zim scrambled away from Dib’s second strike.

“Remind me again why I hang out with you?” Dib asked in exasperation, glaring at Zim as the alien shifted smugly back into his chair.

“Aw, you love me.” Zim smirked.

“My mistake.”

Urania, ignoring them, guided the ship into a docking port, and dropped it somewhat abruptly on its landing stilts.

“Yeagh!” Zim spluttered as the vessel shuddered, grasping the sides of his chair.

“Bit of a rough landing there, Urania?” Dib said weakly from the floor.

“Again!” GIR cheered.

“Schlorfin’ AI, bet she did that on purpose,” Zim grumbled. He smoothed his skewed antenna and righted his rumpled suit.

“Not at all,” Urania replied smoothly, “just space turbulence.”

“No space turbulence if we’re not in space,” Zim muttered under his breath. But he picked up GIR and set him firmly on the floor, and made no further argument. “Chop chop, Dib, Mooga Mart awaits!”

“Just…gimme a minute for my lungs to face the right direction…” Dib managed,

“To quote good ol’ Commander Poki…” Zim held a hand out to Dib, and when the man took it, yanked him in one aggressive motion to his feet. “Walk it off!” He slapped Dib’s back. Dib groaned brokenly, then blinked.

“Wait, that actually…helped? Somehow?” He said slowly.

“I’ve found hitting often does,” Zim replied nonchalantly. “Though I admit it is usually directed at the enemy. GIR, if I see you fiddling with that leg one more time I’m going to blow it off myself!”

GIR looked up from pulling at his replacement leg with a caught-red-handed look.

“Yes, I noticed.” Zim narrowed his eyes on the robot. “You’re not so sneaky. Urania, we’ll be back in a couple hours, do try to not leave the planet without us onboard.” He marched down the corridor, waving the other two after him.

“I shall hold on to the one scrap of sympathy I have for GIR and endeavor not to,” Urania replied blithely. As Zim disappeared out the hanger doors she materialized beside Dib. He suppressed a shriek.

“Get me a repetitive laser, model G7R-69,” she said. “Don’t forget.”

“...why?” Dib questioned.

“A specific and important reason that I will not share with you at this time.”

Dib stared at her for a moment. “...Well, that's cryptic. C’mon, GIR.” He picked up the SIR unit and placed him in his hood, much to GIR’s delight. “I doubt Zim will appreciate it if we get left behind minutes after arriving.”

Dib tromped out of the ship, with squealing robot in tow, to find Zim gazing out at the sprawling megatropolis before them.

“Isn’t it glorious?” The aforementioned Irken grinned widely.

If one enjoyed box stores the size of New York city with an even more dismally gray color scheme, surrounded by swarming air traffic and the sound of machinery, it certainly was.

“How do you find anything in that?” Dib questioned, staring with skepticism at the many alien departments reaching as far as the eye could see, both side to side and upwards–and presumably downwards.

One of Zim’s PAK arms pulled something out of the device with flourish. “Map!”

“Right. Lead the way, space-man,” Dib said.

Zim began striding forwards, toward the huge doors marked ‘Entrance’ in bold pink letters, which seemed a bit overtly obvious. Dib followed, taking in the surprisingly small number of customers roaming around the area outside the building. “How come no one’s here?”

“Mooga Mart is nearly always filled with Irken consumers,” Zim explained, exuding smugness out the ying yang. “EXCEPT! On Irken holidays. One of which,” he gloated, “is so conveniently today!”

“Tallest Day!” Dib snapped his fingers. “Of course!”

“Only the Irken Elite are permitted to skimp on Tallest Day celebrations, so the Mart will be virtually empty. All those licking sticks, just sitting there for the taking!” Zim clapped his hands together gleefully. “...though I am suspicious of the origins of Tallest Day. Something in my squeedily spooch tells me the Tallest may have invented it as an excuse for parade floats of their faces and extra snacks.”

“Could be,” Dib said solemnly.

“Now, there is a scanner we have to pass through in order to be granted access to the Mart,” Zim explained. “Only Irkens are allowed through, unless you have explicit permission from an Irken and the Irken is present, in which case other species can enter as well. Just follow my lead!”

The three of them approached a kiosk-looking thing manned by what could have been an Earthen teenage movie theater employee if not for his third eye and tentacles. Beside it was a white and pink chamber with clear windows in the front and back.

“Wait, if you have to be scanned won’t it realize you’re not an Irken Elite?” Dib hissed under his breath, eyes flicking between his friend and the scanner. “And also, y’know, that you’re the traitorous criminal Invader Zim?”

“Quit worrying. It only scans for Irken DNA, not specific individuals,” Zim reassured him. “And even if it did, no one's going to risk leaving Irk on Tallest Day just to arrest us.”

“Step onto the pad to confirm your genetic code,” the alien warbled as they stopped at the counter.

Zim marched onto it, and the glass opened and closed behind him. He tucked his hands behind his back and tapped his foot impatiently. “Hurry it up, security drone, I have things to do!”

“Please keep all limbs and other appendages inside the Scan-O-Tron™️ until the Scanning™️ is complete,” the alien said, monotone.

He pressed a button, and neon pink rings began rising out of the floor, up around Zim, and into the ceiling. The machine buzzed as it worked. After a moment or two, a ding sounded from the employee's control panel.

“Scanning™️ complete. You may enter the premises.”

Zim strode out the other side. Dib moved to follow him, but the glass slid shut with a slam before him and GIR could enter.

“Irkens only, unless you have permission from a present Irken,” the alien said flatly.

“They’re with me,” Zim said. “Let them through or I will have a very serious conversation with your superior!”

“Do you take full responsibility for…” the alien squinted at Dib. “...the squishy pink thing and the SIR unit?”

“Yes yes yes, whatever, just open the ding dang door!” Zim rolled his eyes.

The alien employee shrugged and pushed another button. The glass parted before Dib.

He walked through the threshold, only slightly miffed at the comment on his apparent squishy pinkness.

“Let’s go get a cart,” he said, glancing around the massive area and trying not to become disoriented by the sheer magnitude of stuff.

“First things first,” Zim said briskly. “Gimme GIR.”

Dib raised an eyebrow, but reached behind himself and grabbed the robot from his hood. GIR waved his hands excitedly and tried to bounce but succeeded only in shaking Dib’s arms.

“Are we there yet!?” the SIR unit shrieked.

“Indeed we are,” Zim replied calmly, taking him from Dib. With habitual grace, Zim tossed him over his head and waited while metal cords snaked out of his PAK and around the robot, securing him to his back in a contraption amusingly reminiscent of a baby carrier.

Dib gave Zim a look.

“He wanders,” the alien explained shortly.

“Don’t I know it.”

Zim trotted to a enormous collection of floating, rectangular white carts and motioned for Dib to grab one. He did, and the three of them, led by Zim and his map, entered the maze of aisles and shelves. They were fairly well organized, with the merchandise stacked neatly and their prices displayed in holographic pink. Signs hung suspended in the air telling patrons what things were where, with the occasional one advertising some Irken product or another. There were small circular objects hovering just above the ground at consistently spaced intervals. These confused Dib until he saw a thin little Irken climb on one and ride it up to the higher shelving units.

“This way.” Zim pointed to the right, briefly looking up from the map. “Snacks are top priority, obviously. After that, the discount section. You’d be shocked at the things people will just throw in there! And if we have time after that, we’ll check out some of the new Invader tech the Scientists have come out with.” “You do know you’re not an Invader anymore, right?” Dib commented, half serious.

“Sure,” Zim replied, “but I still have standards.”

The snack section, to the surprise of no one, was at the forefront of the store, and only took them a minute or two to find. Zim stared giddily at the rows upon rows of alien candy and junk food, practically vibrating. As he began stuffing everything in sight into the cart, Dib examined some of the stranger food choices around him. Picking up a bag of Gummy Wyverns in one hand and a cylinder of Sour Star Dust in the other, he came to the conclusion that Zim’s infinite supply of energy probably came from the absurd amount of sugar he consumed. Perhaps if he, too, consumed absurd amounts of sugar…

He tossed the two snacks into the cart.

No harm in trying.

As he pushed the cart down the aisle, he read all the labels and attempted to figure out what exactly each of the foods might actually contain–Irken food products did not come with such foolish things as Nutrition Facts. Moments later Zim, finally content with the number of calories piled inside the cart, nodded thoughtfully.

“We’ve still got enough room to grab some discounted supplies!” He declared. “This way Dib!” He led them out of the aisle they were in and left, into an area filled with massive cans of screws.

“Can we lookit the fishy things!?” GIR screeched from Zim’s back.

Zim grimaced. “...fine, we can look at the fishy things. After we get everything else.”

“I, too, wish to look at ‘the fishy things’,” Dib said.

“We’ll look at the fishy things!” Zim growled. “You people really need to get your priorities straight.” “Says the Irken who just stuffed our cart overflowing with junk food,” Dib retorted under his breath.

“I heard that!” Zim threw a hand up in the air. He quickened his stride until eventually Dib was forced to run full tilt after him, cart swerving perilously and growing heavier by the second. Eons later Zim came to an abrupt stop, causing Dib to shriek and dig his heels into the linoleum floor to avoid crashing into him. The cart came to a stop inches behind the aliens head.

“What…was that…for…?” Dib panted, leaning on the cart’s handle.

“Now we’ll have time to look at the fishy things,” Zim explained calmly, not even slightly out of breath. Dib was sure his voice sounded genial to any onlookers but Dib could damn well hear the smug lilt hidden within its innocent facade.

“Alright, alright, the genius Irken wins.” Dib rolled his eyes. “Can we just look at the discounts now?”

Zim gestured to the sign above them reading ‘Discounted Items’. “Since I have so thoughtfully brought us to them in short order, yes we may.”

“Okay, now you’re not fooling anybody!” A chuckle snuck its way out of Dib’s chest.

“Fooling?” Zim eyes grew comically wide. “Fooling? What are you implying, dear boy? There is no fooling commencing in this fine establishment! I have only the utmost respect for my fellow cabin mates. I’m offended you would imply such crass behavior!”

“When did you become a Victorian gentleman?” Dib raised an eyebrow.

“What are you talking about, Dib? Really. You’re losing it. And if you keep stalling we’ll run out of time to see the fishy things!” Zim tutted.

Dib pushed the cart into the first Discounted Items aisle with one hand and grabbed the back of Zim’s suit with the other.

“Yee!” Zim shrieked involuntarily, to which Dib chortled.

The alien grinned darkly, all teeth. “That's how you want to play, huh?” “What does that mean–YAGH!” Zim ripped himself out of Dib’s grasp and climbed up his back, claws digging into the fabric and scratching at his skin. “Zim! That tickles!”

Mercifully, as Zim reached his shoulders he ceased his scrabbling, swinging his legs across Dib’s chest. “March, soldier!” The alien cried.

“As long as you don’t pull at my hair,” Dib warned, and continued walking.

“Victory for Zim!” Zim crowed triumphantly. “Ooo, look, industrial heated blanket.”

“Dude, I know you love your heated things, but aren’t name-brand heated blankets super pricey? Do we have the funds for something that expensive?” Dib pried, wincing as he visualized the numbers on his monies rectangle dropping into the red zone.

Zim gestured widely to the price tag, which read: “98% OFF!!!! LAST ONE IN STOCK!!!!!!! SAVE 76’000 MONIES!!!!!!!!!!!! (seriously for the love of Irk buy this thing we can’t take down the sign out front advertising heated blankets until they’re all sold out and we can’t put a new ad out till it's gone and the other product investors are getting angry enough to shoot something) ((probably me)) ((I am begging you take this gashlinking thing))).

Dib shrugged the shoulder Zim wasn’t sitting on and tossed the boxed item into their cart. “Fair enough.”

“Come, Dib, all we have to do is walk straight through the Discounted Items aisle and we’ll be at the fishy things! And then the tech section is right above them on the third floor! Sometimes my marvelous planning skills impress even myself.” Zim grinned.

“‘Aisle’, singular? There’s only one?” Dib asked.

“Indeed!”

“Oh, well, this shouldn’t take too long then.”

~2 hours and 23 minutes later…~

“Is…is that the end…?” Dib breathed, drooping eyelids fluttering as his pupils registered a break in the straight shelving to both his sides.

“Alas, we have reached the end of the discounts,” Zim said mournfully. “But not without acquiring two packs of Irken Purple-Pop soda, a heated blanket, a 50 foot length of bungee rope, new speakers for The Poltergeist’s lounge, a box of miscellaneous screws and nails, a couple of heating coils for my latest project, that weird wrist-computer you seemed so excited about, three pairs of welding goggles, antenna-pods for my Music-y Box Thing, and a Tobbleberry lolly for GIR!”

Ignoring the majority of Zim’s sentence, Dib yelled, “Finally!” And rushed the last couple meters to the end of the aisle. “Sweet fresh air! Miles and miles of AISLE really does something to a person! God, I missed space for my elbows!” He flung his hands wide out.

“Er, Dib-friend?” Zim tapped the top of Dib’s head.

“Hm?” Dib opened an eye to look at him.

Zim tipped his head to the side a couple times, giving him a look. Dib followed his gaze.

A pair of Irkens in one aisle and a singular one in another were staring at Dib detestfully.

Dib smiled awkwardly and gave them a hesitant half-wave before lowering both his arms. “Zin,” he whispered, trying to keep his lips from moving. “‘Ich ‘ay are ‘e goin’?”

Zim dutifully pointed right. Dib looked resolutely at the cart, to keep it from hitting things and not at all to avoid locking eyes with the unimpressed Irkens, and pushed it towards the fishy things.

“Don’t laugh at me,” Dib muttered.

“I wasn’t laughing,” Zim said.

“You were going to.” “Well, you’ll never know now.” Zim patted Dib’s black hair. “Maybe I was going to comfort you with a kind hug and tell you that the hugely amusing event that just took place was not your fault somehow.”

“Y’know, I’d be more inclined to believe you if you hadn’t just called it ‘hugely amusing’,” Dib retorted.

Luckily for Dib–or possibly the both of them–before Zim could continue the conversation, GIR waved a pointer finger in a vaguely forward direction and yelled, “The fishy things!”

“Yes GIR, those are the fishy things.” Zim nodded. Then froze. “Wait, how did you get out!?”

GIR, now leaning on Zim’s head with his little metal feet on his shoulders, shrugged and stuck out his tongue. Zim sighed. “Come here, you insolent SIR.” A robotic arm shot out of his PAK and tucked GIR snugly back into his carrier. After a moment of thought, a couple more cords wrapped around GIR’s arms and chest, securing him tighter.

“You know, you could’ve just left him at the ship,” Dib pointed out.

Zim shot him an affronted look.

“Kidding, kidding,” Dib chuckled. “Let’s go see these fishy things of GIR’s.”

“They’re really not that interesting,” Zim complained, hopping off of Dib’s shoulder. “They’re all over Irk, some people enjoy eating them–I think they taste like Earth chalk. Really, they’re more pests than anything else.”

As he listened to Zim’s long-winded and unnecessary description of the fishy things–which were apparently called wakwoks–his eyes caught on a label in one of the aisles. Repetitive Lasers. If he slipped away before Zim finished his rant, the Irken probably wouldn’t even notice he’d left... He tilted the cart away and tiptoed off into the aisle. The selection of repetitive lasers was near the end, and there were a lot of them. Who knew Irkens loved repetitive lasers so much. I mean, he knew they loved regular lasers, so he supposed it wasn’t too much of a stretch to assume they’d like repetitive ones. He scanned the shelf.

Model G7R-96, Model G8-90, Model H0-45… Model G7R-69! Unfortunately, it was near the very top. As he pondered this problem thoughtfully the hovering pad thing beside him caught his eye.

Hm.

Dib hopped onto the device. It shook slightly but didn’t move.

“Uh,” Dib murmured. “Up, please?”

The pad stayed still.

“...Model G7R-69 repetitive laser, please…?”

The pad rushed him up, up, up till he was staring the desired lasers in the face. He reached a hand out to grab one just as his communicator buzzed. He groaned. Apparently Zim did notice. He pulled it out of his pocket.

angry green gremlin: DIB WHERE ARE YOU???

Dib rolled his eyes at the blatant misuse of capitalization and exclamation points.

agent mothman: i just went to pick up something for urania

agent mothman: ill be back in a sec

agent mothman: chill

angry green gremlin: GET BAKC HERER NOW!!!!

agent mothman: jeez im coming

Dib tucked the device back in his jacket, grabbed a laser, and said, “The floor?”

His ride sent him hurtling at a terrifying speed back to the cart. Grasping at his tumbling stomach, he stuck the foot-long repetitive laser into a somewhat open space in the cart. He then began walking–slowly–to his previous destination and an apparently panicking alien. Dib wasn’t sure if he was more irritated or touched by how much Zim was freaking out about his disappearance.

He rounded a corner, and took in the tanks of faintly pink liquid full of…well, fishy things. That truly was the only way to describe them in any honest way. They looked vaguely like lionfish, with some ‘lion’ removed from them and a heaping pile of ‘thing’ thrown in. There were also a few that appeared to be covered in goo, but considering they were underwater it was hard to tell. He strode forward, wondering vaguely where Zim and GIR had gone, and then a sharp hand grabbed his sleeve and yanked him and the cart into an adjoining aisle.

“Shh!” His attacker raised a finger to his lips.

“Zim, what are you doing?” Dib asked tiredly. “If this is about someone trying to steal your snacks again, I’m telling you no one's gonna take candy from you when they just take it from the store–”

“It's not that,” Zim interjected hurriedly. “Stand in front of me!”

Dib eyed his frantic friend. He stepped to the side so he blocked the view of Zim from the rest of the store. “Fine, now tell me what’s up.”

“I’ll explain later!” Zim waved him off, peeking warily out from his cover behind Dib’s legs to look out at the open area beyond. The alien stared for a long moment before eventually letting out a relieved sigh. “Okay, I don’t think he saw me...”

“‘He’? Who’s–” “ZIM!”

Zim winced deeply as his name rang through the rows of goods. “Time to go.” He grabbed Dib’s shirt and led him at a speed walk out of the aisle and down the main pathway. Dib shoved the cart to get it moving and followed, matching his companions pace. “Seriously, what’s going–” he began, only to be interrupted again.

“Is that you?” The voice bellowed. “Why, don’t leave, Zim! We haven’t had time to catch up in oh so long!”

Zim stopped wearily and put a hand out to stop Dib. The human complied, waiting until Zim grimaced and turned before he did so too.

“Heyyyy, Borax…” Zim said, smiling a strained smile.

“Hello, Zim,” greeted a leafy green Irken with neon pink eyes–presumably Borax. He was surrounded by four other Irkens, two with purple eyes, one with pink eyes and irregularly light green skin, and one with a single pink eye, its other one lidded and covered by an ugly, ragged scar. They all wore standard Invader uniforms, except for Borax, who also had metal gloves and boots.

“It has been a while, hasn’t it?” Zim tried.

“Indeed. You’re still as short as ever,” Borax said.

“Yes, I suppose so,” Zim said shortly.

“How have you been?” Borax asked, words kind but gaze calculating.

“Oh, you know…” Zim trailed off. Dib was slightly impressed–despite his better judgment–to meet someone who could leave Zim at a loss for words.

“I see you’re hanging out with inferior life forms now,” Borax sneered, gesturing lazily at Dib.

“Dib is not–!” Zim growled, cutting himself off. “...Dib may not be Irken but he is just as superior as you or I.”

“They told us you’d gone rogue, Zim.” Borax tilted his head. “I mean, you already were out of control, what with all the regicide and mission failures. But I never believed you’d be this…Defective.” “Jokes on you, buckaroo.” Zim grinned, gaining back lost ground. “I don’t care that I’m Defective anymore! Check it out, I’ll even say it: I’m just a big ol’ Defective Irken. Zim the Defective. Defective, that’s what I am!”

Borax continued, unfazed. “Do you recall what I told you I’d do to you if I ever saw you again?”

“...give me a set of Purple Slooshie coupons and send me on my way…?” Zim supplied.

Borax glared darkly. “Boys…” He turned to the Irkens beside him and lifted a finger to point at Zim. “GET THEM!”

Zim shrieked and swatted urgently at Dib’s hand. “Run Dib!”

Dib didn’t need to be told twice. The cart gave a frustrated squeal as he threw himself into it and took off at a headlong run. Zim sped along beside him, casting nervous glances over his shoulder as the sound of charging Irkens grew closer.

“Here!” Zim tossed GIR into the cart, the robot giggling as he tumbled into the mountain of snacks. “Make sure he doesn’t climb out!” “Why can’t you just keep him in–” The question answered itself as Zim’s PAK legs struck out at the stuff surrounding them, leaving a messy barrier of random electronic components and bulk bags between them and Borax and his gang.

“This way!” Zim waved Dib down an aisle to their left, and Dib had to push one foot off a shelf to avoid knocking the front-heavy cart into it.

“Do you actually know where you’re going!?” Dib questioned above the clamor of Irken swearing and scraping PAK legs behind them.

“Your faith astounds me, Dib!” Zim hissed in reply. “Of course I know where we’re going!”

“Did you really think to load the map into your PAK!?” Dib demanded doubtfully.

Zim threw a hand in the direction of a massive, glowing EXIT sign.

“Oh,” Dib huffed. “My bad.” A bulk bag of roasted egad nuts crashed into the rack of cleaning wipes beside them, narrowly missing Dib’s head. He yelped.

“What did you do to this guy!?” He asked Zim, wide eyed.

Zim muttered something.

“I can’t hear you over all the shit being thrown at us!” Dib dodged a hammer.

“Nothing!” Zim snapped, striking a military mattress into the floor with a PAK leg.

“Dude,” Dib glanced up at a smoking hole in a box of replacement spinning razor blades. “It was obviously not nothing!”

“Alright, fine, I’ll tell you the abridged version!” Zim growled.

~Lotsa years earlier, before Zim went to Earth. Actually, before Zim was even an Invader. During Zim’s Invader training…~

“Now, recruits!” Commander Poki instructed, pacing. “For the love of Irk, express caution when practicing with your holo blades. I realize it has ‘holo’ in the name, but believe me when I say that it will not cause ‘holo’ damage. We cannot afford to lose any Invaders, even Invaders-in-training, during this time of crisis. At least, not many. So at least some of you need to stay alive. Those Flogschlokians won’t kill themselves!”

Zim stood on the flat top training area, holding a bright pink holo blade with undisguised glee. He wore a standard purple Invader-in-training uniform with the Irken insignia in black across his front. The weapon buzzed with energy as he swung its end back and forth in the air. Borax stood beside him, also wielding a holo blade. The size difference between them was striking. Zim seemed miniscule in comparison to Borax’s thick frame and general tallness. Also unlike Zim, he seemed uninterested, eager to get on to other things–things, one could assume, like raiding the free snack cabinet in the training lounge.

“Don’t get that thing so close to my face!” Borax complained, glaring at Zim.

“Chill out!” Zim said with a smirk, waving his weapon in the air and bouncing excitedly at the streaks of pink left in its trail. “I’m not gonna hit you.”

“Irk, I can’t believe they chose you of all people to be my partner.” Borax groaned loudly.

“I can’t believe they chose you of all people to be my partner,” Zim retorted arrogantly. “Truly you are not worthy of witnessing my magnificent magnificence, Borax.”

“Let’s just get this over with.” Borax held his holo blade up in front of him in a standard ready stance.

Zim followed suit, though he shifted into an exaggerated position rather unlike Borax’s controlled one. Borax rolled his eyes, but moved his weapon to strike at Zim as they were told to do. Zim blocked him with gusto, their blades meeting in a shower of pink sparks and angry vibration.

“Zim!” Borax hissed. “Be careful!”

“Aw, c’mon, it's no fun if we have to do it slow!” Zim protested.

“It’s not supposed to be ‘fun’!” Borax narrowed his eyes. “We’re training, not playing some foolish smeet game! Now focus!”

“You need to relax,” Zim said blithely. He withdrew his blade from Borax’s and pitched it between his hands.

“Zim, I'm serious! Cut it out!” Borax growled.

Zim began twirling his weapon in the air with increasing speed, and it hummed and brightened.

“The commanders are probably overexaggerating how dangerous these things actually are,” he said. “I mean really, what's the worst that could happen?”

The intensifying noise coming off the weapon stopped abruptly as it cut clean through Borax’s right arm. Zim stared at the results of his unintentional amputation. Pink blood dripped to the ground from the limbless hole in Borax’s shoulder. Silence filled the grounds as the other trainees noticed the incident unfolding before them, and it reigned for a long, long moment as Borax registered what had just occurred. Zim hoped for a second that perhaps, the other Irken just wouldn’t notice he’d been suddenly parted with one of his four limbs.

“ZIIIIIIIIM!!!!”

Damn.

~Lotsa years later. Unfortunately, Borax is still alive, and he is angry.~

“You cut off his arm!?” Dib yelled, voice cracking.

“Only one arm!” Zim defended, as they skidded down one of the tighter aisles. “And they gave him a new one!”

“Even if doctors could grow me a…new arm with creepy cloning science,” Dib replied, panting. “I would still…be mad if… someone cut mine off!”

“Perhaps we can have this argument at a later, less in-mortal-danger time!?” Zim suggested. Laser fire rained down on them, and the Irken threw up a holo shield of his own design in defense. “This thing won’t last long! We need to get out of the store and into the open!”

“Is that not the opposite of huff what we want!?” Dib steered the cart around a fallen oil tank.

“If I have more space I can use my PAK legs!” Zim explained.

“Right. Huff. Okay.”

The exit sign was now looming on the near horizon, and Dib could see the entrance they’d come in through. Luckily for his burning legs and raspy lungs, he wouldn’t have to run for much longer. GIR peered out over the side of the cart. Dib raised a hand to smack him back into the safety of its sides, but before he had to, GIR noticed the horde of angry Irkens spewing lasers and hate and quickly slipped back into the heaps of stuff, only wide eyes showing.

Smart robot.

They tumbled forward in a rush of limbs and adrenaline. Passing by the expansive check-out counters, Dib turned his attention temporarily to the cart full of things they hadn’t yet purchased.

“Don’t we have to huff pay for this stuff!?” Dib pressed, as they tore past the counters and in a direct path for the exit.

“Urgh, fine!” Zim groaned. A PAK arm pulled a wad of monies from a compartment in the device and chucked it at one of the tellers. It hit the furry alien in the face with a smack.

“Is that even huff the right amount!?” Dib inquired, incredulous.

“Are you kidding me, that's more than those idiots would usually see on a Saturday!” Zim snarked.

“Is it genuine?”

“...that's not important right now!” Zim leapt forward to stand in front of the clear glass doors. The employee they’d spoken with earlier stared at them tiredly. “There’s no time for a scan! Stand back!” Zim warned. Dib, hoping whatever Zim was about to do wouldn’t cause too much damage, yanked the cart backwards and ducked behind it. The sound of machinery whirring and charging up segued into a shuddering blast that sent bits of metal and miscellaneous building material into the air.

“Let’s go!” Zim called.

“Was that really necessary?” Dib complained as the three of them plus the cart stampeded their way through the rubble and out into the open.

“Maybe, maybe not. But I got to try out my new laser cannon!” Zim grinned up at him. “Push the red button on the side of the cart handle!”

Dib decided he was too winded to question the Irken anymore and simply pressed it without argument. The cart flashed purple once, and then the handle and anti-grav motors tucked themselves into the main body, the whole thing clicking and folding into place until it became a sealed, compact, rectangular, white transport container.

“It’s done!” Dib shouted, the cart-turned-box falling to the ground without its operating components in place. Metal tendrils whipped around the box, securing it in a net, and Dib found himself being grabbed in a similar manner, his feet yanked off the ground.

“Hi Mary!” GIR chirped, tucked snugly in his hood once more.

“How did you–ya know what, nevermind, we’re good Zim!” Dib called, cupping a hand to his mouth. A PAK hand shot him a thumbs up as Zim’s PAK legs sprouted around the alien and began pulling them all forward at breakneck speed. Wind charged at Dib’s face and drew tears from his stinging eyes. He shifted to look behind them as the shouts of Borax and his goons grew louder and more rathful. The look on Borax’s raging face showed he was all too aware that his target was escaping.

“GO!” He roared, his own PAK legs speeding up their violent lunging.

Laser fire bombarded them, but luckily for the trio, angry Irkens had aim about as good as a rookie Stormtrooper. The group was, however, catching up to them at an alarming rate. Dib met the eyes of one of the purple-eyed Irkens and it scowled resentfully.

“Uh, Zim!?” Dib shouted, turning back around. “You might want to hurry!”

Zim didn’t reply, and Dib worried momentarily that he hadn’t heard him, but then their velocity doubled sharply as a pair of gray and pink rocket boosters sprung from Zim’s PAK and activated. Dib hoped his friend was able to keep their intense firepower in check long enough to reach The Poltergeist.

They careened past a pair of shoppers, the Irken Invaders screeching and jumping out of the way, waving fisted hands at them indignantly. Dib opened his mouth to apologize, remembered the atrocities committed by Invaders, and promptly shut it again.

He spotted their docking port, and a thought struck him–that, and a chucked Irken popsicle that one of their pursuers decided wasn’t worth enough to keep if throwing it meant assaulting Dib’s head. He shoved a hand in his pocket and pulled out his communicator, taking care not to drop it to the speeding ground and certain destruction, and slipped his goggles over his eyes to block the wind. He swiped through his contacts until he landed on Urania’s. His fingers shook as he typed and he struggled to hold onto the device. He hoped autocorrect would cut him a break and actually work for once.

agent mothman: start the ship!!

Urania: May I ask why? agent mothman: just check ur scanners!!!

Urania: …

Urania: Ah. Very well.

The door to their port opened up and The Poltergeist rumbled to life, blue light flashing from its propulsion engines, and spreading up to accent its indents. Seeing how close they were getting to it, Dib hastily shoved his communicator back in his pocket and prepared himself for a rough stop. Just in time, it turned out, because seconds later Zim dug his PAK legs into the ground and brought them to an abrupt and screeching halt. Suddenly, a well-aimed–or more likely just lucky–laser struck his retracting boosters and they sparked and whirred angrily, sending smoke guttering into the air. Zim yelped and batted at the dislocking mechanism until they fell heavily to his feet. Unfortunately, this distracted him enough to forget about holding Dib, and the human found himself unceremoniously dropped in a pile on the ground. He scrambled to his feet and pulled GIR out of his hoodie, cradling the robot in his arms. A persistent throbbing tore through his thigh. That was going to hurt later.

“Zim! Let’s go!” Dib yelled, stumbling up to his friend.

Zim was crouched at his spasming rocket boosters, trying to collect the pieces in his arms, swearing in a confusing mix of English and Irken under his breath. “Give me a minute!” “You can make new boosters!” Dib pleaded, bouncing on his heels and glancing restlessly between his friend and the approaching storm of Irkens and Irken weaponry. “If you stay here Borax is gonna obliterate you and you can’t use boosters much less make boosters if you’re fuckin’ dead!”

Zim kneeled before his broken creation for a moment longer and then sprung to his feet.

“You’re paying for new materials!” He declared sharply.

“It’s on me!” Dib yanked him forward. “Time to blow this popsicle stand!”

They half-ran half-lurched the last few meters, bent forward to avoid blasts and rubble. Dib clutched GIR to his chest, and the little robot made uh-e-uh-e-uh-e-uh sounds to match Dib’s shuddering footfalls. He tried his darndest not to giggle. Not the time.

The trio scuttled up The Poltergeist’s ramp and into the ship. Zim wrenched the box-cart the rest of the way inside, sending it skittering across the metal flooring, and smacked a screen, activating the ship-wide communications system. “Urania!” He hollered into it. “We’re on!”

“Closing hangar doors.” Urania’s voice announced.

Dib and Zim turned to watch as the folding metal smoothly covered view of Borax and the other Irkens. The horde fired a last few shots at them, sending a series of dings echoing through the docking port, and the scar-faced one smacked head first into the edge of a wall in a last-ditch attempt to throw himself into their ship. Borax bared his teeth at them, fiery wrath burning in his eyes, and as The Poltergeist sealed its doors the last thing Dib saw was his open mouth and the droplets of spittle flying from it as he bellowed, “ZIIIIIIIIIM!”

The Poltergeist rose off the landing pad and lifted up and out of the port, leaving the five furious Irkens below to their fit of wrath. The Mooga Mart shrunk gradually in the porthole windows. A beat or two passed, and they slid smoothly into the exiting line of spacecraft. The near-silence of the hangar was a stark contrast to the chaos they’d just escaped, and there was an awkward, motionless pause while the three of them stood there shakily. Then Zim abruptly flopped to a sitting position, exhaling loudly. His various PAK appendages withdrew into his PAK. Dib’s heaving chest calmed as he caught his breath, and he gazed into the void for a moment as his brain buffered.

“When can I see the fishy things again!?” GIR asked brightly, shaking the two of them from their respective trances.

“Was that,” Dib said, “by any chance, the reason we’ve never gone to a Mooga Mart before?”

“...yes. If there’s anything Irkens love more than the Tallest, it's cheap snacks, and that includes the many, eh, enemies I have made over the years,” Zim admitted. “...apparently that logic holds true to Borax as well.”

At that, the laughter Dib had been containing escaped in the form of bouncing chuckles. “What–what kinda name is Borax, anyway!?”

Zim snickered, then leaned back on his hands and released a cackling laugh, shoulders shaking. “It is a humorous title, isn’t it? Ha! Just a Human cleaning agent!”

Dib held out a hand and Zim grasped it. Dib hauled the Irken to his feet, the two of them sharing sniggers.

“Y’know, Dib,” Zim said, shaking his head in amusement. “If I’d never met you, I never would’ve known how stupid a name Borax is.”

“Guess I was good for something after all, huh?” Dib smiled broadly.

“Indeed, Dib-friend!” Zim said. “If I ever see him again he’s going to learn all about his name’s alternate origins…” He rubbed his hands together with relish.

“Are you done with the hysterics yet?” Urania asked dryly, causing the two of them to jump in surprise. “Your box of stuff is clogging up my hangar bay.”

“Urania, I thought I requested you refrain from startling us with your creepy all-over-the-ship-ness?” Zim inquired resentfully. “And couldn’t you at least wait for us to settle on a destination?”

“Get up here then,” Urania ordered.

“Very well,” Zim grumbled. “C’mon, GIR, it's your turn to pick our next stop! Tallest save us.”

GIR scrambled off Dib and took hold of Zim’s hand, bobbing excitedly. “I’ll be there in a sec,” Dib said. “I just gotta grab something from the cart.” Zim nodded and led GIR out of the room.

“I hope you enjoyed the fishy things,” the Irken's receding voice griped, “if we hadn't gone to see them we wouldn’t have run into Borax in the first place!”

After a moment of thought, Dib pressed the button on the cart for the second time that day. The top of it whirred open to reveal the treasure trove of items within. He rummaged around in it until his hand came to rest on the smooth, circular metal of the repetitive laser.

“Urania?” He called.

“Yes?” The AI replied.

Dib held the item up. “Got your laser.”

“Thank you, Dib,” she said. A metal arm snaked out of the ceiling and grasped the proffered laser.

“If you don’t mind my asking,” Dib said carefully. “What do you want it for?...You’re not going to blow something up, are you…?” “Oh, no, Model G7R-69 repetitive lasers are completely harmless,” Urania answered. “They simply make excellent disco lights.”

Dib blinked. “Disco…lights…?”

“Indeed. It does get rather dull around here when you three are off making trouble.”

“Oh.”

She didn’t make a sound, but Dib was certain Urania was laughing at him.

“Dib!” Zim shouted. “Hurry up!”

“Coming!” Dib shouted back. He trotted through the ship’s hallway until he emerged at the cockpit. “Where are we off to now?” “That goddamn space cotton candy stand again,” Zim seethed. “I knew including GIR in our destination-picking was a mistake!”

“Aw, cheer up, space-boy.” Dib grinned. “At least he didn’t choose the amusement planet like last time. ‘Sides, I could go for some cotton candy. Set a course, please, Urania!”

“Only if you swear not to bring any of that sticky mess onboard again,” Urania cautioned.

“GIR, listen to the irritating AI,” Zim advised.

“Not to worry, we won’t,” Dib promised.

“We’ve learned our lesson.”

“Pinky promise, right, Zim?”

“...fuck off.”

The Poltergeist’s engines glowed brightly and it shot off into the distance, leaving only wisps of swirling blue jump dust and echoes of spirited laughter in its wake.

#invader zim #space junk au #spacejunk au #zim #dib #fanfiction #fanfic #iz #fanart #zadf #dib membrane #gir #invader zim au #invader zim fandom #tw blood #nothing graphic though #the geek draws #the geek writes

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captain-joongz · 9 months ago

Text

Tits out

Pairing: best friend!Wooyoung x f!reader

Genre: bffs to ??, college au, pure smut, barely any plot, fluff, humour

Summary: When talking to your best friend about your nipple piercing during movie night backfires in the most spectacular way possible and Seonghwa's new couch gets caught in the crossfire

Word count: cca 7k

Warnings: reader is chubby, there's no discussion, they just jump into it, titty sucking, nipple and nipple piercing fixation, unprotected sex (this is pure fantasy, be careful in the real world), a little bit of body insecurity about body hair, fingering, doggy, squirting (let me know if i missed anything)

I had met Wooyoung back in the first year in uni and now four years later we were still going strong. The man that walked in confidently into a lecture hall, bee-lined straight for the empty space next to me and was sitting down before I even comprehended his question of “is this seat taken?”, who then proceeded to talk my ear off and invite himself for lunch with me, was quite easy to befriend, believe it or not. After sitting next to him a few times and going for lunch later, I’d managed to get out of my shell a little too and soon we were two merry extroverts steamrolling through university hip to hip. He’d become one of my best friends, one of my closest friends and a person that understood me almost perfectly. We knew we could count on each other completely and trusted each other blindly.

I was introduced into his friend group, and he was into mine and we often hung out together in huge groups of rowdy younglings, going dancing and spending weekends eating too much junk food and watching bad movies someone had put on, but no one really paid attention to besides the occasional joke about its stupidity. I couldn’t count how many times I’ve done something extremely stupid while hanging out with them and was heavily encouraged by both Wooyoung and San. It was the most fun I’ve had though, and that’s what really mattered.

Now I was already out of school, but Wooyoung and most of his friends were continuing with their studies. Due to this, we tried to hang out every Friday, but a lot of the time it ended up being just me and him or even just me sitting in their living room watching Netflix waiting who makes it home first. It was like my second home at this point, and no one was phased when I showed up out of the blue and sat on the couch like I owned it. Especially since Seonghwa bought the new one, that one was extremely comfortable.

Usually, Friday night was a hang out and movie night for me and Wooyoung anyway, but today I was a woman on a mission. A few months ago, I had gotten a nipple piercing. It wasn’t my first one (though it was definitely the most painful one) so I wasn’t extremely worried about it, but lately it has been acting up a little. It usually didn’t hurt but sometimes there would be this slight discomfort around it and I’ve even noticed some slight scabbing even months later. I knew realistically that it was most likely okay, but my anxious nervous little brain had managed to convince me that I’m going to lose my tit or something. That’s why I needed a second opinion. And that’s where Wooyoung came in.

Tonight, I was making my way towards their flat knowing I’m about to ask Wooyoung for the weirdest favour one ever could, but it should be okay, right? We were such close friends, it definitely wasn’t a big deal, right? You normally asked your friends to take a look at your tits and tell you whether there’s something weird about one of them, that was just a usual Friday, no?

I checked the group chat again and confirmed that it would be just me and Woo tonight and then made my way to their building’s door. They lived on the fourth floor without an elevator, which would normally be a minus, but since it was an old warehouse made into an apartment building, their flat was actually massive and housed all of them without a problem, so I graciously sacrificed myself and stomped up the stairs a few times a week to see their faces (and eat their food).

Upon arriving to the flat, I found Woo busy making something in the kitchen, humming lightly while whipping cream like a 50s housewife.

“What you up to?” I asked casually strolling into the room, making Wooyoung jump with shock. “Jesus fucking Christ, you sneak in all the time and yet I still get scared by you,” he said and put his hand over his heart. I slapped his shoulder and peeked at what he was making.

“You literally gave me the keys, Wooyoung, I’m hardly sneaking in,” I said and rolled my eyes at him. He just laughed and pushed me out of the kitchen. “Shut up and start choosing the movie or I know we’ll just end up scrolling through Netflix for hours like always,” he shouted over his shoulder and went back to whatever snack he was making.

As I sat on the couch, I was steeling myself for what I was about to ask him, trying to figure out how to bring it up. No time like the present, right. I mindlessly scrolled through the movies, but really I was waiting for Woo to join me in the living room. Then finally he came in through the door, a plate of little cheesy snacks in one hand and a bowl of popcorn in the other. I was just about to open my mouth, but he cheekily winked at me and made his way back to the kitchen. When he returned, he was holding a little tray with two cups of hot chocolate, the coke and two glasses.

He finally joined me on the couch and for a while we both just sat there, arguing about whether we want to watch a comedy or a thriller, while I was thinking how to broach the subject. But in the end, I didn’t even need to do that. In the middle of my sentence about how I’m not watching another stupid horror movie about nothing, Wooyoung suddenly turned to me and just gave me this look. And I knew I was done playing around. I stopped in the middle of talking and stared at him. He grinned.

“Okay, just spill it,” he said when I stayed silent for too long.

“What do you mean?” I attempted to stray away from the topic until I was ready, but he’d already saw through me. “Really?” he asked incredulously, “I’ve known you for years, you think I don’t recognise when you want to talk about something? Just spill the beans already.” I heaved a deep sigh and then turned on the couch to face him. He was still grinning.

“Okay, this might be really weird, but just bear with me for a while, okay?” I started. While I was slightly worried about the piercing, I also couldn’t help but fear Woo’s reaction, after all this wasn’t exactly a normal thing to ask your friend. I knew worst case scenario he’ll just say no and laugh it off, but still. He looked a little more serious for a moment, but then I continued talking. “I need you to look at my tits, okay?”

Wooyoung looked at me shocked for a moment and then bursted out laughing. I just glared at him annoyed. “Hear me out-“ I started but he cut me off. “Is this about like being insecure about them? You want me to look at them and say they’re okay? Y/N, you know your tits are amazing-“ he was going on and on, but this time it was me who cut him off.

“God, no, nothing like that,” I shut him up embarrassed. While it was true that I was slightly insecure about my plump figure, I loved my boobs, I knew they looked great. They were simply just right, it was one of the things I loved about my body. Wooyoung sensed that it must be something more serious and gestured for me to continue.

“You know I got the piercing, but lately it started to act up a little and I’m getting nervous and I just need you to look and tell me it looks fine,” I got out in one breath and he just stared at me. “Okay…? Why don’t you look into the mirror?” he asked, genuinely curious. “I have, but since I’m getting so nervous about it, I need a second opinion,” I explained, “Come on Woo, I know it’s a super weird and gross request, but help me out here.” Wooyoung laughed again and smirked at me.

“Gross and weird?” he repeated, “Not only I’ll see a nipple and a piercing, but I’ll also see a boob and a nipple with a piercing, that’s like some of the best things in this world combined together.” I slapped his shoulder again, but we both laughed this time.

“You’re the worst, god,” I said laughing, “I’m surprised you haven’t died over being such a fucking horndog all the time yet.” He laughed too and then gestured to my top.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, just shut up and pull your tits out,” he joked and made himself comfortable on one end of the couch. I wasn’t particularly shy about showing my body, so it wasn’t that hard to bare myself like this. Hell, me and Woo have probably seen each other naked a few times but just didn’t care enough.

I pulled the two straps of my top off my shoulders and bunched the fabric around my waist, then reached around to my back to take off my bra. When it hit the floor Wooyoung’s full attention was suddenly on my chest, and it flustered me a little. I fought the instinct to cover myself with my arms and instead just sat there, topless with my best friend intensely staring at my boobs.

“So?” I asked anxiously, “What do you think?” He suddenly straightened up and it brought us quite close to each other. “That you have really great tits,” he said absent-mindedly, his hands raising on instinct as if going to squish them. I flushed and swatted at them. “Yeah, I know,” I said annoyed, “that’s not what I asked though.” That seemed to break him out of it a little bit and he hunched down so his face was on level with my chest. I face-palmed and hoped no one would come home unannounced, cause this would be damn hard to explain.

“No, yeah I think it’s okay,” Woo said after a while, “I mean, the pierced one looks a little different, but that’s to be expected. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it.” I relaxed at hearing him say so and felt the tension leave me at once. But I just needed a little more to feel completely at ease.

“Can you like… touch it to see if it’s weirdly warm or if there’s some weird texture or something?” I asked embarrassed and quickly looked to the side when Woo’s head whipped up to look at me. “You want me to what now?” he questioned me flabbergasted.

“I don’t know, dude! You’re the one that gets into contact with tits, you’ll know if there’s something wrong with it!” I started hurriedly explaining myself, growing more flustered by the minute. Wooyoung stayed quiet for a moment and then sighed. I thought this was finally the line that was too far for him, but then his hand suddenly flew up and stopped just millimetres from my nipple. We both just sat there, holding our breath, not knowing where to look, when he slowly brought his fingers in contact with my skin. I gasped quietly, but in the silence it was still audible. I flushed in embarrassment and refused to look anywhere else except for the wall by the TV.

Wooyoung’s fingers messed around a little, pressing down on the nipple and gently squeezing it, also lightly touching onto the piercing. Surprisingly enough, what I felt wasn’t pain like I feared. With every soft brush of his fingers over the sensitive skin, a little bolt of pleasure shot through me and I had to fight to keep myself from gasping more or arching into his touch. I felt the blush spreading over my face and completely mortified I noticed beginnings of a scorching wet heat between my legs.

Then suddenly his hand was gone and he was clearing his throat. The silence that set between us was broken and we both started shifting around, not knowing what to do with the situation we found ourselves in.

“I think it’s totally fine,” he said, his voice somewhat hoarse, but I was so embarrassed I barely even registered it.

“Oh thank god, I was really getting nervous,” I said and laughed a little awkwardly. Wooyoung wasn’t saying anything and just sat in front of me tensely, so I assumed it was good and he just needed a moment to shake off the sudden awkward atmosphere, and turned around to find my bra. That was a rookie mistake though. The moment my eyes left Wooyoung, he striked. As I was searching the floor with my eyes, suddenly what felt like a lightning strike went through my whole body. My back arched on instinct, and I toppled backwards onto the couch with a loud moan.

Wooyoung’s mouth has attached itself onto my pierced nipple and he sucked again, another shock pulsing through me and pleasure suddenly flooding my senses. My hands flew to his shoulders, but instead of pushing him away I just pulled him closer. I myself wasn’t sure of what was happening or what we were doing, but it felt too good to dwell on it and I definitely didn’t hate it.

Wooyoung moved closer and made himself comfortable between my spread thighs, his mouth busy sucking and licking around my piercing. I was letting out tiny breathy moans, my legs instinctively pulling him closer to my core, hoping for a little friction.

“What… what are you doing?” I finally gathered my wits and asked breathlessly. I looked down to see the top of his head moving around. He peaked up to look at me and smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, I’ve never been with a girl that has a nipple piercing, I couldn’t help myself,” he explained, and I rolled my eyes at him.

“You damn horndog,” I muttered, but didn’t push him away or stop him. That gave him confidence to continue, and he smirked at me, as one of his hands brushed down my front until he was slightly pushing on my clit through my clothes and I arched again. He moved to the other nipple and played with it a little, while his unoccupied hand moved to my other breast, touching it teasingly, squeezing it slightly and thumbing the piercing.

“It’s so sensitive,” he murmured and watched his hand completely fascinated. I was about to retort something, but he chose that moment to bite at my breast and move up to leave wet hot kisses on my neck and a loud moan came out instead. It’s been so long since I’ve been with someone, and I was starting to worry I might utterly embarrass myself. One of my hands sneaked down between our bodies, trying to encourage him to touch me properly instead of just gently pressing, but he caught it and pulled it up to my shoulder. Suddenly he was towering over me, smirking at me and just generally being a menace. I arched again, this time trying to push our lower halves together, but he avoided me with a laugh.

“God, please, Wooyoung just touch me,” I begged him as the desperation from the scorching heat cursing through my veins was taking over, throwing everything into the wind and fully committing to getting fucked by my best friend. He kept smirking and propped himself up over me on his elbow.

“Touch you, huh?” he said and suddenly his hand was back to teasing my clit, this time with more force. I keened and pushed up into him, suddenly embarrassedly realising just how wet I’d gotten from such small ministrations. He chuckled watching me, head diving to take my pierced nipple into his mouth again, gently playing with it with his tongue and scraping his teeth over it. I jerked and my hands flew into his hair, holding him in place so that he’d never stop, my mouth falling open on a silent moan, too overwhelmed by the sensation to properly function. He slowly moved up to my neck, peppering kisses and small bites along the way, while his fingers moved in little circles over my clothed clit.

I was so turned on I could die, I needed him to touch me properly – like stuff me full of his long beautiful fingers. And I told him as such. And he laughed at me.

“Aw, such a little desperate angel, aren’t you?” Wooyoung whispered into my skin. I whined his name, hoping it would speed him up. He scoffed at me playfully but moved away to pull my shorts off, grabbing them with one hand and pulling them down in one swoop; leaving me a little breathless and only in a bunched up top around my middle, while Wooyoung was still fully clothed. I started pulling his shirt off and he obliged, flinging it to the other side of the room eagerly.

Woo sat back on his heels between my spread thighs to take me in and I started to feel shy again, hands moving to grab onto him and pull him back onto me, but he pushed my arms back into the couch and held them there for a moment, before sitting back again.

“No, no, angel, I’m looking at your pretty pussy,” he teased me, hands grabbing at my full thighs to keep them spread wide. I looked down and suddenly an insecurity reared its head again. About two years ago I had stopped shaving in my intimate area, only trimming it a little, cause it irritated my skin too much and the last time I was about to get some, the guy called me disgusting. Wooyoung was currently watching me like a starved man in front of a feast, but still I nervously covered myself with my hands. His eyes flicked up to me, questioning, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Sorry,” was all I said, mad at myself that I couldn’t even properly get out why I was suddenly so uncomfortable, and he looked at me all confused. “What are you sorry for?” he asked, but then realisation lit up his eyes and he moved to stand up from the couch, “Did you change your mind? You know it’s okay to tell me.” I looped my legs around his waist to pull him back to me and he fell forward with an “oof”. This pressed his erect cock to my core as he held himself up with his hands right by my head and we both moaned at the contact. My legs kept encouraging him to grind into me and for a moment we both just breathlessly moved against each other, Woo releasing little moans and sighs into the heated air between us, and I watched his half-lidded eyes slowly become hazy with pleasure, utterly fascinated.

“So I guess no changing of minds,” he chuckled on a small groan as his hips started thrusting a little harsher against me, losing all rationality and just chasing pleasure. “No, nothing like that,” I whispered back and pulled him for a kiss for the first. As soon as our lips touched, we started hungrily devouring each other, moaning into each other’s mouths and our hands grabbing onto each other desperately. I ended up helplessly grabbing onto his back and most probably leaving red scratches in my wake.

After a moment Woo pulled away, sat back on his heels again and I whined and tried to pull him back, leading him to laugh at me once more; but his fingers went straight for my pussy, spreading it open and sliding through the wetness there. As if placated, I immediately stopped whining and arched my back more, begging for his touch.

“What was that about before?” he asked slightly breathless and I could see he was being serious, even though his finger started slowly circling my clit and playing around. I could barely concentrate on explaining as I was too busy drowning in the liquid pleasure spreading through my entire body.

“Just a little… hng- a little insecure about- about my hair,” I answered while writhing around, simultaneously wanting more and hoping he’d stop so that I could explain properly. His eyes immediately flicked down between my legs just as his finger slid down and slowly slipped into me. I moaned loudly, hands grabbing and squeezing the couch. His gaze was trained on my hole as he pumped his finger in a few times and then quickly slid in a second one.

“Fuck, you’re so wet..” he whispered, still watching his fingers slowly fucking into me, his other hand going to squeeze his erection still tenting his sweats. My mouth was hanging open, eyes unfocused, noises just pouring out as I was finally feeling full for the first time. But then suddenly he pulled his fingers out and focused on me again. I actually sobbed out, trying to close my legs to keep his hand from leaving, but they were still kept spread by his hips.

“Why would you be insecure about it?” Wooyoung whispered and it took me a moment to remember what we were talking about before. I propped myself up on my elbows and looked at him, sitting between my spread legs with an obvious erection in sweats stained by my wetness from our grinding before. I flushed again and tore my eyes away from his cock, only to catch his smug smirk. I schooled my expression and said: “The last guy I was with called it disgusting. Said he’s not Columbus to be exploring the rainforest.” Wooyoung scoffed.

“What a fucking asshole, who even comes up with shit like that?” he asked incredulously, “Well, clearly he’s a fucking coward, but thankfully… I’ve always liked a little bit of adventure.” He said the last bit all flirty, winking like an absolute sleaze and I just knew something awful was coming. “Besides,” he said while pressing himself into me again, “the rainforest is the perfect place for my anaconda.” I groaned, but this time from pure embarrassment at his jokes while he cackled like a madman. I pushed him away and started to turn around so that I could stand up.

“God, I changed my mind, get off of me,” I said morosely, but he just grabbed my hips and used the momentum to turn me around and get me on all fours, then pressed us together. A bolt of arousal shot through me, and my arms buckled under my weight, my face pressing into the couch while my ass stayed propped up by Wooyoung, pressed into his hips.

“Actually, this is quite a good idea,” he said grinding into me, “I always knew you’d love to be fucked like this.” He bent over me, his chest pressing into my back as he whispered straight into my ear. “Pressed down like this, taken from behind quick, rough and dirty,” he murmured, “Put nicely in your place…” I moaned unabashed, hips pushing back onto his cock on their own and lust making itself painfully known again; in response I could feel Wooyoung’s hands tightening on my skin and suddenly he pulled back to hurriedly tug his sweats down. His hands made their home on my hips, squeezing and pulling, keeping me pressed into him, his cock slotting between my thighs and sliding along my wet pussy. I keened and attempted to grind back, but he held me as his hips pulled back.

“God, please,” I begged, “Please, Wooyoung, give it to me…” He held himself with one hand and I heard him chuckle. “You want it?” he teased. I felt the head of his cock gently teasing around my hole, slightly pushing in and pulling out again. I sobbed exasperated and nodded, face mushed into the couch and hands grabbing onto the throw pillows, my whole body just fucking screaming for his cock to spear me through and through, cunt spasming and tightening around nothing.

“Yes! Yes, please!” I cried and he finally slid inside in one slow thrust. I moaned with relief and sagged into the couch a little, finally getting what I’ve been wanting this whole time. Wooyoung groaned behind me and his hands dug into the skin of my hips, pushing us impossibly together. The feeling of fullness satisfied something wild and primal in me and I found myself struggling to close my mouth, too blissed out to do anything.

He stilled for a moment to get us both accustomed to the feeling, but clearly both of us were too horny to wait even a little longer, because the second I pushed my hips back into him, he started slowly grinding in small circles and it wasn’t long before it shifted into shallow thrusts punching out little gasps out of me.

I only had to whine out “please!” once to get Wooyoung to speed up and pound into me in a much faster pace, to both of our reliefs. Woo’s cool had quickly melted away into a desperate quick pace that had tiny whiny moans spilling out of him. I wasn’t fairing much better, the slide of his cock along my walls from this angle was absolutely heavenly and within few moments had me absolutely losing my already frayed mind. With my head turned away from the cushions I found myself unable to close my mouth, moans freely slipping out and bouncing off of the walls of the living room. Embarrassingly enough I could feel a string of drool coming out of the corner of my mouth onto the couch, but I couldn’t force myself to care when Wooyoung was fucking me so good.

It quickly became obvious we were both too horny and turned on to keep any kind of decorum, so we descended into a messy filthy fucking, Woo eventually bending over me and plastering his chest to my back, mouthing and biting at my neck in between grunts and groans. Just thinking about how deliciously I was filled with his cock had me moaning loudly, Wooyoung chuckling as if he wasn’t the same, losing his mind over the tight wet heat enveloping him in a torturous hug.

I found myself quickly spiralling, the molten pleasure pumping through my body at an alarming speed. I reached back and pulled at Wooyoung’s hips, forcing him to shift his leg a little closer and putting his hips a little higher over mine, giving him perfect access to that one spot deep inside of me with every thrust. I lost all control over my body then, taken over by the all-consuming pleasure, the moans coming out higher and louder with every thrust.

“God- ah aah-“ I panted out, hands digging into the pillows looking for any kind of purchase to withstand the onslaught of sensations, “I- I’m cumming so-soon.” Wooyoung giggled breathlessly into my shoulder and his hips suddenly gained back a little more direction, aiming to hit the spot with every slam into me, slowly speeding up until he was railing me like a madman, the wet squelch of my cunt and slapping of skin on skin accompanying the cacophony of our joined pleasure. I wailed, unable to keep up with the mounting climax, almost screaming on every thrust inlaid with little gasps, groans and cut off gibberish pouring out of my mouth. It felt as if my entire body lit up, the bliss becoming a little too much for me to properly register beyond “Oh god! Oh yes!” ringing through every inch of my very being.

Then Wooyoung’s hand moved to my tit again and squeezed and pinched the pierced nipple few times, even giving it some light slaps. My whole body seized up on a lightning strike of pleasure and the orgasm hit me like an actual truck, getting thrown over the edge so unexpectedly and with such force that I gave one last wheezing cry, mind blanking out and all I could register was the white ecstasy pouring through me, out of me, as if my entire body was made out of it, every nerve screaming with it.

Distantly I registered Wooyoung’s startled cries and moans, his hips jerking against mine quickly and erratically, his hands back on my hips tightening until I could feel his nails biting into my skin and was sure I’d have a nice set of imprints for at least the rest of the day. Then he stilled over me, cock pushed as deep inside as it could go, pulsing and throbbing as the cum poured out in thick spurts. His deep groan of satisfaction reverberated through my whole body since he was still pressed into my back tightly, letting me enjoy the moment with him.

As if invisible strings were cut, we both collapsed into the couch and hazily I realised I only stayed upright because Wooyoung was holding me so he could fuck me harder. After few minutes my mind slowly started coming back, body tiredly catching up, registering the pleasurable ordeal it just went through. I could feel my pussy throbbing, hot and wet from being thoroughly fucked and filled with Woo’s release, my hips hurting from the pounding. I was almost expecting to see bruises all over me.

For a few moments only laboured breathing was heard through the room as we both recovered, the haze gradually lifting, allowing us to come to terms with what had just happened between us. Surprisingly, it didn’t feel awkward at all. It may have been because I was still lying boneless, unable to speak from the force of the orgasm with Wooyoung’s softening cock still wedged deep inside of my pussy, but I found myself quite comfortable squished into the couch, feeling his shallow breaths in the crook of my neck and his thumping heart against my back. I wondered if he could feel mine, as it was beating just as wildly.

But the comfy silence was broken by the man himself, when he whistled and said: “Wow, I had no idea you could do that.” There was a little teasing undertone to his statement, but mostly I could detect only giddy wonder and pride.

“Do what?” my words still a little slurred, because I was still recovering the functions of my brain and fighting sleep, so deeply sated I could barely hold a full thought.

“Squirt,” Woo stated matter-of-factly, his hands beginning to gently caress my sides to help me come down. “Huh?” I said eloquently and turned to look at him. He just gave me a soft grin, eyes squinting in joy as he took in my state. “I did what?” the question was more rhetorical and I wasn’t even really talking to Wooyoung, rather I started to squirm trying to look down as if my pussy held the answer. And in some way it did. When I managed to lift up my hips a little, my whole body protesting and Wooyoung behind me grunting at the jostling of his soft cock, hands digging into my hips to try and hold me still, I saw that the couch beneath us was absolutely soaked. Slight panic seized me, I didn’t even know why, it was just a natural reaction of my tired brain to the information that apparently Wooyoung, my best friend, had made me squirt for the first time in my life, all over Seonghwa’s lovely sofa. Well, at least it did explain why the orgasm had been so fucking intense, feeling as if the soul left my body and astral projected into a parallel universe.

The squirming dislodged Wooyoung from me and a splat of his cum joined the already huge stain on the furnishing. Now I winced, realising that there was no way either of us was surviving this. Unceremoniously I plopped back down into the mess and turned to Wooyoung, who was sweaty and rosy-cheeked, watching me with amusement.

“Seonghwa is going to fucking murder us,” I muttered tiredly, already back to fighting sleep off now that I was lying again. I let my eyes fall shut and only heard Wooyoung’s answering laugh, only felt him get up from the couch and gently roll me over on my back. There was shuffling, rustling of clothes and footsteps around the living room, but I couldn’t find the strength to look at what was Woo doing, letting myself drift on the high and the aftershocks that were still coursing through me.

Wooyoung was humming somewhere in the apartment and then there was a gentle touch on my hip. I whined but let him do what he needed. A warm wet towel was pressed onto my stomach lightly in lieu of warning and I slowly opened my legs again, feeling the strain and the burn that just hurt so good. Woo tenderly cleaned me up with soft unhurried strokes, then helped me sit up against the pillows to try and put some clothes back on me.

I blearily opened my eyes and blinked at him. Wooyoung was kneeling on the floor in front of me wearing only his sweats and holding his black tee. When he saw I was back in the land of living, he slowly pulled it over my head and helped my arms into the sleeves. I was feeling all warm and fuzzy from his sudden softness, thoroughly enjoying this after-care, suddenly found myself overtaken by the violent need to cuddle and sleep it off, so I was just about to suggest that, when he suddenly sprung to his feet and pulled me up with him. I let myself be man-handled with only a slight surprised yelp, but suddenly standing I realised my legs still weren’t in working order, if my shaking buckling knees were anything to go by, so I just grabbed onto his shoulders and hoped he wouldn’t let me fall.

He didn’t. Another nicely warm towel was now wiping my butt of anything I had been sitting in, his hand gently patting it before putting me back onto the couch in the area that was dry.

I wanted to sleep, but I was too amused by the picture of Wooyoung standing in front of the huge wet stain with a deep thinking expression on his face, wracking his brain for anything to do about it. When a giggle escaped me, suddenly his eyes were on me with a mischievous glint.

“You made the mess and now you laugh at me when I’m trying to save our lives?” he asked jokingly, amusement lacing his tone. I giggled again and curled around one of the pillows, fully committed to watching the comedy unfold. Wooyoung just sighed and looked at the couch as if it murdered his first-born.

“I gotta come up with something before-“ his voice was cut off by the door suddenly opening and a commotion coming in. There were three voices happily chattering something and I could recognise the guys from that. With terror I met Wooyoung’s eyes the moment we registered Seonghwa as one of the voices. Before any of us could even move a muscle, the three men walked into the room and promptly froze in their tracks.

“Holy shit!” It was San who shouted that, but we were focused on the cacophony of emotion going through Seonghwa’s face seconds before he cried out “MY COUCH!!” on the top of his lungs. There was genuine anguish and betrayal in his voice before his eyes redirected from the stain to us with pure fury.

“Okay! Time to take a shower!” Wooyoung shouted and pulled me up, but ended up supporting my entire body when my knees buckled and I was balancing on shaking legs like a new-born fawn. From this angle I could see the pure amusement and approval on San’s face right next to the disgusted traumatised Yeosang. I blushed furiously and let Wooyoung drag me off to a bathroom, where he sat me gently on the toilet.

“I’m going back out,” he whispered with determination as if he was about to walk into a battlefield, leaving his wounded comrade in the safety, knowing there was only death outside. I snickered at him and he theatrically waved at me from the door, before walking out and shutting it behind him.

I could still fairly clearly hear everything go down though, especially when only moments later Yeosang popped in to give me my clothes and stuff I left on the table and didn’t close the door fully after him. My phone was vibrating like crazy, which could only mean San was already blessing the group chat with all the piping hot tea. I unlocked it and clicked on the notifs.

Mountain man: lolol woo and y/n fucked on the couch and completely ruined it

Princess: ew fuck you wooyoung

Muscle baby: i’ll never fucking use the living room again

Brat: 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

The situation unfolding in chat was interrupted by the scene that was going on in the living room in the real time.

“Calm down, I’ll think of something,” Wooyoung’s voice carried through, trying to console Hwa only to be followed by another shriek of “BUT MY COUCH!!”.

“Wow Wooyoung, I really thought better of you,” Sannie teased, adding oil to fire and I could clearly hear his laughs. No signs of Yeosang, but he was probably just standing there watching it all go down.

“I spent months picking it out!” the level of hysteria was steadily rising in Hwa’s voice and I really slowly started fearing for Woo’s life. “I’m gonna have it dry cleaned or something,” the said man offered only to be met with more shrieking.

“You better fucking throw that thing out, there’s no way I’m sitting on it after this,” San added very unhelpfully to the conversation, “especially since I saw the state of it.” There was a beat of silence during which I imagined Wooyoung was throwing daggers at San with his gaze for stirring more shit into it.

“I’ll buy a new one,” was his final plea and while it was met with some more grumbling and fake-crying, I could hear the situation calming down.

Captain: what the fuck is happening there when i’m not home

Mountain man: fornication

Demon angel: disgusting

M o t h e r: MY COUCH

M o t h e r: my amazing couch in the perfect shade of blue that i was looking for

M o t h e r: DEAD AND DEFILED

Puppy: i’ll help you look for a new one, hyung

Mountain man: wooyoung already agreed to buy a new one since he was the cause of the *suspiciously* large stain

Captain: no details

Captain: never any details

Captain: first rule of fight club

xoxo from hell: 🤔🤔

xoxo from hell: i think

Princess: oooh she breaks her silence

xoxo from hell: that a certain man here in this chat should rather shut up considering last week i walked in on him fucking a girl on the kitchen table

Brat: oop-

Mountain man: Y/N

Mountain man: NO

Demon angel: 🤮

Muscle baby: RIGHT WHERE WE EAT???!!!

Puppy: eat pussy apparently

Princess: nice

Captain: don’t encourage him

“MY KITCHEN TABLE?!” Seonghwa’s scream sounded through the flat just as Wooyoung slipped into the bathroom and closed the door behind him with a wide grin. Distantly I could hear San’s pleading and general chaos as Hwa no doubt started raining fury upon him.

“Nice save,” Wooyoung smirked at me and started ridding us of clothes so we could finally take the shower we both desperately needed. The feeling of the hot water hitting my spent and pleasantly aching body relaxed me and I sighed with content. I was basically ready to melt into a puddle right there, sleep slowly rearing its head back up, so I just went with the motion and let Woo soap us both up and rinse us, I let him dry me and put a fresh tee on me that I didn’t even notice he brought with him. I was just watching him with eyes half closed and a doped out smile on my face.

“You’re so cute like this,” Woo muttered as he led me through the hall to his room, amusement and fondness filling his voice with uncharacteristic gentle sweetness. Upon entering his room I immediately beelined for the bed and burrowed myself between the blankets and pillows. Woo rummaged around in his closet for a moment, but it was the only sound I could hear as the apartment suddenly fell almost eerily quiet.

“If I’m so cute now,” I finally mumbled out from underneath the cozy pile, “maybe you should fuck me more often then.” That had Wooyoung turning around to face me with a mischievous grin. “I fully intend to do that,” he said devilishly and jumped in with me. It took a bit of shuffling to get into a comfortable spooning position, but we were no strangers to cuddling each other, so it went rather smoothly.

Just as the sleep was claiming me and I felt myself getting pulled under, Woo suddenly perked up and said: “You don’t think the silence means hyung murdered San and now Yeosang’s helping him get rid of the body, right?” I snickered gently, but just swatted at him to lay back down.

“Well, he probably deserved it,” Woo muttered and snuggled in closer to me, letting the exhaustion finally lull us to sleep. And it was the most comfortable sleep I’ve had in a while, even if San potentially paid for it with his life.

Divider from the amazing @saradika-graphics 💜

A/N: hope you enjoyed yourself, don't be shy I'm always open to comments and asks!!

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