#Sorry i looked at youtube comments and got angry
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Every time Yellowstone does something funky I want to throw myself into an active volcano.
Not because of Yellowstone doing the funky thing, but because inevitably the media makes up fear mongering bullshit and everybody nods along screaming stuff about how Yellowstone is going to kill us and that the geologists don't know how to do their jobs and/or BIG SCIENCE/GOVERNMENT is lying to us about severity.
#A volcano can not be overdue for an eruption you absolute BUFFOONS#why would any volcanologist be lying to you about the level of danger? for what purpose?#and pray tell why would YOU think you know better just by watching a video than the scientists who actually went to school#got a degree#and actively study the topic#Sorry i looked at youtube comments and got angry#yes this is in fact about the#yellowstone geyser explosion#yellowstone#geoscience#earth science#science
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[✶] — YOUTUBER!ELLIE HEADCANNONS
DISCLAIMERS & WARNINGS — EIGHTEEN PLUS, usage of cursing, mentions of kicking vagina (idk what else 😭)
AUTHOR’S NOTE, hoorah!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who will never in a million years stop saying out of pocket shit.
She’s playing nun massacre by the creators puppet combo when she starts talking her shit — she is a bark, no bite type of a girl.. — “Let that nun come in here, Ima Liu Kang kick her coochie.” she says, her eyebrows furrowing in concentration with a hint of fear. (autocorrect hella fear). She’s a room, crouched by a drawer, searching for items when she continues her rave. “Phoosh, me, scared?” she rolls her eyes with too much confidence. “I wanna see that saggy titty bitch come—“ she cuts herself off when the screen start glitching indicating the enemy nearby and immediately scurries in a corner.
The moment she’s in the corner, she looks striaght into the camera, expression changed within seconds. “Guys—no, i’m not scared.” she whines when she hears footsteps. Let’s just say she is, not that she’ll admit it.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who swears she’s not flexing when she shows her goosebumps.
“You guys don’t know how clenched my asshole is… AHH!—stupid ass bird!” she shouts when a jumpscare plays. “I got the chills, guys. Look, not even tryna to flex so don’t go in the comment saying that I am.” She pauses the game and promptly lifts the sleeve of her shirt to show the camera her muscles that are practically bulging out — yeah totally not “flexing”.
“You guys see them? The chills that kill.” she says, looking at her arm through the face cam and running her finger along her beefy bicep to point out the nonexistent goosebumps.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who made a challenge for herself to post everyday for a month, but never has accomplished it.
“Guys, I swear on my uncles saggy tits, i’m gonna get this shit done.” She says, running a hand through her hair, seeming determined, yet somewhat stressed about it. Which her fans seem to notice almost instantly, making the comments on that video very sweet. :(
Itsme123: “Hey man don’t overwork yourself, you’re doing great!
Purpleismyfav: “You don’t stress yourself out over a challenge, we’ll always be here!
Gayforelliewilliams: “You got this! We love you, Ellie!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who starts posting vlogs more often that consist of her making breakfast, working out (which gets deadly amount of views.), her walking around the city she lives in.
Youtuber!Ellie who’s a fucking idiot when recording one of these said vlogs when she unexpectedly meets you, but her first impression does leaves a mark behind!
“Yo, guys, look at this fine ass girl.” she says, pointing the camera towards you before realizing what’s she doing can end with her sitting in a jail cell and almost drops the camera trying to face it towards her again, hoping you didn’t notice her antics, but you did.
The first impression wasn’t great…you immediately came up to her, angry. “Hey, you creep! Why the fuck are you recording me?!” you interrogated.
God, she knew this wasn’t the right time, but the way you yelled at her was so hot. “I’m…Im sorry…I didn’t mean to! I was just recording for my blog, uhm, I’ll cut it out.” her eyebrows furrowed in concern, she felt her face drop, losing its warmth. She didn’t want to come on as a creep who records random women! Even though thats what she was doing in the moment minus the creepy intentions part, but nonetheless that was the last thing she wanted to be!
“Please do!” you frown, and walk away. “The decency on some people!” Ellie can hear you say as you walk off.
A defeated sigh escapes her lips, and she immediately opens her camera again. “Y’all, I messed up my chance with another baddie…” she says with a sad huff.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s in bed, days later scrolling on tiktok with her chip coated fingers that leave behind residue stains when she sees a familiar face. Licking her fingers, she pauses the video, and looks at one of the girls being interviewed on what song they were singing to. It was you.
What were the chances of her ever seeing you again? Literally, zilch, but here she is commenting, “Yo, who’s the 4th baddie? 🌝”
It took about ten minutes to get mutliples comments and likes, but she didn’t care, she was looking for you, not the other comments responding to hers saying, “Nooo, my chances with are ruined 💔” or “Ellie’s a simp.”
Until one of her fans did pull through, and @ you.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s heart pounding out of her chest as she scrolled through your tiktok. She could feel her cheek becoming warm, just looking through your media, and after a little stalking, she followed you.
When you got the notification, and mutiple tags of people saying this about a girl named ellie? You opened your phone and scrolled through tiktok until.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who got a notification on tiktok that you followed her back. Let’s just say she almost recreated her infamous scene of her falling out of her chair.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally pressed the “👋👋👋”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who screamed “No!” when she realized she did, and threw her phone across the room.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was throwing clothes around her already messy room trying to find her phone that she threw after hearing her phone ring.
“Where are you, you fucking—Ahah, Got your ass!” she squeals, and looks at your response, “Hey, you’re that one creep who recorded me, aren’t you?”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was surprised with how smooth you two were getting acquaint. She obviously asked for your number because she fucking hates texting on tiktok, plus who does that? And you two were actually hitting it off.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who doesn’t immediately want to reveal her career, wanting to be known for her, not for her channel. So when you ask if she was a youtuber, Ellie plays it off smoothly… at least that’s she think…
“So what was with the camera? You have a fetish for fliming random girls?” you voice receiving on her end of the phone, causing her to wince.
“N-No…” she sighs, feeling her face heat up as she thinks of an explaination that doesn’t expose everything.
You couldn’t help, but to laugh, making Ellie’s heart flutter at the sound of it. “You know I’m kidding, right?” She could hear your smile through the phone, making one appear on hers.
“Yeah, no, of course!” she responds quickly, but after curses herself mentally for being so awkward. “Uhm, it was just a project for my film class.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who did ask you out on a date (finally) and was extremely nervous for it that she sent out a tweet asking for tips on what not to do, but was met with her fans teasing her.
Andrewking101: “Make sure to leave your camera behind!”
Princessbubblegumfan14: “Make sure your flyer is up.”
FinnyDinny101: “Don’t fall out of the chair!”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who trips four times on your date together.
“Youre pretty clumsy.” a giggle can be heard from you which makes Ellie turn even more red.
“Yeah, sorry, you just keep making me fall to my knees.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who preread her stupid puns book, for just in case.
“Speaking of grapes,” she smirks. “What did the green grape say to the purple grape?”
You smile, already starting laugh. “Uhm, I don’t know, what?”
“Breathe, you idiot!”
Let’s just say your first date was one of many dates that bloomed into something more!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who was finally came clean on the third date and was extremely nervous to tell you about her career. Since there was a chance you wouldn’t think being a youtuber was a real job, but you took it rather well.
“Ellie, I know that already. Didn’t really take rocket science.” you deadpan, your face too serious for her comfort.
“Oh,” she trails off, looking away as she scratches the back of her neck. “Right…” she whispers, cursing herself for being an idiot.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who accidentally kinda exposes your relationship, a week after of you guys making it official. But she played it cool.
…at least she thinks that.
“Yeah, my girl—“ she stops, accidentally swallowing the food she was chewing when she realize what she was gonna say. “I mean friend likes sushi too.” she says in between coughs.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who turns paler than she is now when she sees pictures surface rather quickly of you two out in public. What did she expect honestly? Her fans are borderline insane and delusional for her, were they not gonna catch on? What made Ellie more scared is the “don’t get a fuck” outfit she had on compared to the outfit you had on. Girl legit looked like a bum holding hands with a goddess, and as usual her fandom did not take it lightly.
Kingpin123: “WHATT YOU GOT A FUCKING GIRL?
Wolfgangnation: This just came in, Ellie Williams from Ellieswolfgang has a girlfriend! I repeat she has a girlfriend!
fleshunger: NOOOO HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! TO OUR KIDS?! 💔
Ellieswife: How did bro get that? LOOKING LIKE THAT 😭
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who has relief when her fans like you, and instead dogged on her for looking like a cat’s hairball, but you assure with many cuddles and love that you’d still love her if she was.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s followers finding soon after the reveal of you find Ellie reposting shit like this on TikTok.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who makes tiktok’s like these randomly, and her comments are just as expected.
GamergurlHJ: Oh to be Y/N… 😞
Skibidi1233: Me and who?
Justinbieberfan1294: Stoppp they’re actually so cute I can’t 😭
But also you guys.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who puts you in her vlogs and legit has to cut some of the clips short because it’s full on just her groping and kissing you like goddamn give the girl some breath, ellie!
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who now cannot stop talking about you in every single youtuber video. It’s literally oh, y/n this, y/n that. It’s ridiculous, even her fans in the comment section start a count on the amount of mentions.
FREEPALESTINE: thirty in today’s video, y’all… 😐
Happyveevee: If my girlfriend isn’t like this, i don’t want ‘em. 💯
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who purposefully plays games that you helped program in just to mention you.
“Oh, shit, guys! My girlfriend worked on this game! She so fucking cool, man.” she smiles to herself, knowing damn well she knew.
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie who’s caught being a cutie by yours truly on one of her vlogs at the beach. it goes on like standard blog, the buildup to the now resting point.
The camera pans to ellie on a lawn chair, focused, so focused in fact if you looked closely you’d see the tip of her tongue poking out of her lips ever so slightly. Accompanying her are two remotes, one in hand and another on her lap. Below resting on the sand are two toy construction vehicles; an excavator and a dump truck. The remote in her hands seems to be controlling the excavator since it’s promptly picking and pouring sand on the back of the dump truck, making a miniature ant hill.
You couldn’t help but to snort at her antics which are utterly adorable in your eyes, but your snickering doesn’t go unnoticed, catching the auburnette’s attention. “Hey, are you recording me?” she frowns, intentionally giving you puppy eyes.
You giggle, nodding. “Yup, and you better keep it in the video, or else.” you threaten playfully with a smirk.
“Or else, what?” she retorts playfully, scooping up sand and commanding the machine towards your direction. “Uhh—Ellie, what are you doing?” you raise a eyebrow, but soon get your answer when she pressed a button, promptly making the machine pour its content on your thigh. “Ellie!” you scoff, instinctively lifting your thigh up and accidentally sending the sand all over you. Ellie’s laugh serve as background noise from your muttered curses as you shook all the sand off of you.
On the bright side she kept that part in the video!
YouTuber!Ellie who’sliterally that one audio “I like him. I like that autistic man.”
Imagining Youtuber!Ellie’s fans dogging on her for the way she act with you on camera.
Lilwaynetay: Bro the type to call her “mommy” while giving her this look “🥺”.
NBAstarfan: Bro the type to be at the dinner table with her knife and fork upright and cloth wrapped around her neck.
Not gonna say which one is true…
PREVIOUS PART - SECOND PART
[✶] — PERMANENT TAGLIST, @dyk3ang3l, @elliesprettygirl, @les4elliewilliams, @r3starttt, @slut4mascss, @marsworlddd, @bready101, @abbysleftbicepp, @airenaa, @caraphernellie, @astralnymphh, @whore87, @kaiilectric, @sapphicontherun, @mikellie, @nihilisticangelbby
[!] — PLACE AGES AND PRONOUNS IN BIOS, if you have plans to be added to my taglist!
#──⋆˙ᝰ⨯ writings from the heart ֙#youtuber!ellie#ellie williams#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams x f! reader#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fanfiction#ellie williams au#ellie williams imagine#ellie williams headcanons#ellie williams tlou#ellie williams the last of us#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams masterlist#lesbian#wlw#the last of us#ellie tlou#ellie the last of us#ellie fanfics#ellie fanfic#ellie x reader#ellie x you#ellie x fem reader#the last of us part 2#the last of us fanfiction
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you're gonna be okay ⎸ J.H
Jack Hughes x Reader synopsis : when Jack loses a big game, he comes over to seek support from his favourite person. word count: 1.5k warnings: sad jack, fluff, angst? Authors note: I have more fanfics coming soon, i have a range of them pre -planned with covers and titles and I read everyones request so if i don't get to yours then it's because i already have a story planned for that player or request. I hope you like this one :)
I slumped down on my bed, easily immersing myself in the world of fiction, every now and then munching on the bowl of popcorn I had sitting beside me. Jack was playing for team USA tonight so I was waiting patiently for him to message me that the game ended so we could call or hang out. Something about these big games excited me, not for the sport but for the post game interviews.
It was nice to watch the interviews and read through the comments as if you couldn't just ask Jack the same questions yourself and actually get real and honest answers.
You didn't know the final score yet so you went on youtube to see if a post game interview was up and you were met with the prettiest blue puppy dog eyes you've ever seen, but you knew jack and this was definitely not gonna be a happy interview. You click on the video and are met with a saddened Jack on the verge of tears, your heart aches for him as you listen to his answers; you were mad that they would interview a 17year old on the verge of tears and still ask the most idiotic questions.
I only made it about 5 minutes into the video before I got a message on my phone.
Jack 💘: I’m outside.
Okay, coming down now.
I walk down towards the front door and see a dishevelled jack peering back at me.
“Hi. Can I come in?” The young hockey player asks while twirling with his fingers.
“Of course” I answer, slightly smiling at him as I move my body so he can slip past me.
He walks through my doorway and up towards my room, I trail behind him closely up until he reaches my bed and slumps down on it , exhaustion evident on his face as he looks up at me standing in the doorway. “Are you okay?” I asked quietly, not wanting to make him feel worse, though judging by the way his lip quivered and his head shook, I'm not sure that was the right decision.
“We lost” he says just above a whisper
“Hm?” I walked closer to him and sat beside him, reaching over to hold his hand that he was fiddling with in his lap. “We lost the game, we lost everything” he states, audible this time.
“Oh. well it’s okay-” "NO ITS NOT OKAY” Jack yells, standing up and turning to face me, running his hands through his freshly washed hair. “It's not okay, I let my team down, I let my parents down, I've let everyone down and I'm so tired” he rants on, quieting down towards the end.
“Hey, hey . It is okay, alright? Just because you've lost this game, doesn't mean you've lost everything"
"yes it does, you have no idea what it's like to lose something like this. You don't have to worry about making sure you end up drafted. You'll never know.” ' Jack replies quickly, raising his voice once again
“you havent lost everything,i know it feels like it and i know you’re upset. But please don’t start yelling at me when I'm just trying to help you.'' He looks at me after I say this, tears filling up his eyes.
“You’re right, im sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at you, I'm just so angry at myself, I could've played better , we could've won but I let everyone down." I stand up and walk in front of him
“Hockey is a team sport, Jack. One loss isn't your fault, besides all hockey players lose big games, even the best of the best.” Jack doesn't reply, instead he just nods his head and wipes a falling tear from his cheek.
“You’re an amazing player Jack, anyone can see that. You played well, and so did everyone else. Losses happen, it wouldn't be competitive if nobody lost.” He nods again, looking down at the ground.
I sigh before continuing “why don't we just lay down and watch a movie?hm?” i ask
The boy sniffles before nodding, replying with a light yeah as he makes his way back over to my bed. He sits against the headboard and watches me as I sit down and open my laptop. Stupidly i forgot to close the youtube tab i had opened from his interview and there it was, my boys said face displayed on my computer. I look over at Jack, he stares at the screen then back at me.
“Sorry, i usually watch your post game interviews” i apologise.``its okay, i think its cute you watch my interviews” he smiles lightly at me, his beautiful smile that i didnt think i'd see tonight was there on display “what can i say? You're just too hard to resist” I joke, gaining a light chuckle from the boy before fixing my eyes back to the screen so we can pick something to watch.
X
X
“Do you really think everything will be okay?” Jack asks in a mumble. “Mhm, you're gonna be okay” Jack leans up to face me “i'm gonna be okay” he repeats “you’re gonna be okay” i reply before he leans in and presses his soft lips on mine, we pull away and jack returns to his previous position, snuggling his face into my neck. “Goodnight, Jack. Love you” i say softly “mm night, love you too y/nn” jack replies before swiftly drifting off to a much needed sleep.
I wrap my arms around Jack in a warm embrace, sinking down into the pillows and pulling the blanket up higher. Light snores are audible from the boy as he leans into my touch, even when he's sleeping, he still manages to tighten his arms around me, lightly rubbing circles on my skin from where my shirt rolled up. I play with his hair while allowing my eyes to grow heavy and fall into a peaceful slumber. Comfortable with the outcome of this otherwise devastating night
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It's actually so insane how misunderstood Ai is even in the fandom 😭 I saw a YouTube comment about her last scene with Ryosuke: "We do not know for sure but I think there is a good chance that she offered him hand not for his sake but to manipulate him so he would not harm her kids. She's a lie incarnate after all." 81 likes........ AND AS IF IT COULDN'T GET ANY WORSE. The reply under it: "she legit guilt-tripped her own murderer into committing suicide Aqua don't need to do shit she already got her revenge😂" 79 likes 💀
SORRY FOR SHOWING YOU THAT BUT I NEEDED SOMEONE TO AGREE WITH ME ON HOW THAT IS SUCH A HORRENDOUSLY BAD TAKE 😭😭
immediately after opening this ask i became so angry that i blacked out for a full 24 hours and when i woke up i was in prison. Having to think about it long enough to reply is making me animorph into a wild chimpanzee. REEKING TO HIGH HEAVEN DOGSHIT TAKE, BRO.
i really just do not fucking understand people who engage with the very clearly communicated text of Ai's arc and character and come away just going "oh she was a liar ig" and turn their entire brains off there. It's especially insane to see people doing this over the Ryosuke scene when not 5 minutes before we had Ai all but looking into the camera and directly explaining how deeply and desperately she wants to love other people. LIKE. WAS THAT A LIE TOO, SHITNIPS?? WHO DO YOU THINK SHE WAS LYING TO IN HER OWN NARRATION
I can't even cohere a remotely composed rebuttal to this. I need to go smash some breakable dishware. Media literacy in this fandom has been rotting in a ditch in Miami for the past 20 years.
thank you for sharing your agony with me anon. we're in this together. the wifeposting will continue so long as shit takes like this are still getting trotted out.
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Unmasked Chpt 5
AO3, Etsy Shop, Youtube,
Chpt 1 Chpt 2 Chpt 3, Chpt 4
Taglist- @bunbunbl0gs
TW- Dead body
Word Count- 1,678
After collecting my thoughts and trying to remain calm I join the team at the van.
"So much for getting settled in the hotel," Tara tries to lighten the mood.
I smile back but I think everyone could tell it was forced, they are profilers after all. Spencer is still radiating anger from being sent to the van for fighting with the local police. It probably didn't help that Emily chewed him out for causing more hostility than there already was.
"JJ we need to have a press conference immediately the civilians are getting restless. Can you do that?" Prentiss demands all work mode not a hint of the woman that we go out drinking and dancing with.
"On it," JJ responds.
Prentiss turns to Garcia who seems to be extra antsy but it's understandable she's not normally out in the field and this is by far no normal case. "Garcia, were you able to get anything from the number?"
She frowns, "No it's blocked, this person really knows what they are doing."
Prentiss nods sadly and turns to me, "Did you get checked out at the ambulance?"
"I'm fine. I've been through much worse than some bruised knuckles and a fall down some stairs," I assure her and she looks at me still assessing if I'm okay.
"You could have a concussion you did hit your head on the stairs better safe than sorry," Spencer jumps in and I send him a life-threatening glare. I do not have time to be checked out when Ghostface is still out there.
I shake my head, "No will take too long to be checked out."
"Your health is the priority agent," Prentiss states. God I hated it when she called me agent it meant there was no questioning her demand. Her eyes soften as she looks at my angry face, "At least let Spencer check you out and make sure you're brain is in working order."
"Like he doesn't check her out enough as is," Alvez says causing Garcia to chuckle and to Rossi smirk at the comment. There can't be any truth in this comment I'm the one they are always teasing about having a crush on Spencer when he isn't around they never tease Spencer but the light blush on his cheeks tells me otherwise.
Prentiss shakes her head at the antics, "Everyone except Y/n and Ried let's prepare for the press conference."
Spencer just stares at me in awkward silence after everyone leaves. "So Doc you gonna check my head for a concussion or what ?"
He nods and pulls a flashlight out of his bag and clicks it on and off to test if it's working. He's being oddly silent which is making me even more nervous.
I rub my hand across my arm, "Um, thanks for sticking up for me back there I appreciate it. You really didn't have to though I've heard those things since a teenager I'm used to it."
He tucked the hair away from my face behind my ear, "You shouldn't have had to hear those things, you were just a kid."
I swear I must have looked like a tomato from how flipping hot my face felt. Always knew it was unfair I had to hear all those accusations thrown at me as a teenager but life is unfair no one comforted me over this fact. It Spencer's kindness meant the world to me and I think I'll always feel the warmth of his hand on my face brushing my hair away. Though he was probably just brushing my hair out of my face so he check if my pupils reacted to the flashlight yeah that's why he did it and that should not disappoint me.
Spencer cleared his throat, "Your pupils are reactive which is a good sign I still think you should take it easy."
I smiled, "Never going to happen taking it easy is simply not in my nature."
"I am well aware," he smiles back.
Spencer and I walked over to the press conference which is at the hospital, that is one of the only good things about Woodsboro everything was within walking distance because it's so small but that is also its downfall.
As we got closer we could hear JJ's voice, "This case is still currently under investigation we are pursuing multiple leads but for the sake of the case the suspects will remain confidential. We are taking questions at this time so now is your opportunity."
As Spencer and I stood in the back of the crowd I saw a familiar brunette in heels and her signature reporter outfit push through the crowd. I sigh, "Gale."
Spencer's eyes follow my gaze to the reporter who has successfully pushed to the front of the crowd.
Gale shouts loudly, "Agent! Any comment on that these killings seem to resemble the exact pattern of the original Woodsboro Murders?"
JJ tenses at the abrasiveness of Gale, I may not like Gale but she was one hell of a reporter. I make my way to the front and Gale's eyes widen at my presence she must not have expected me to come back to the town I despise. Dewey was behind JJ he seemed nervous as I approached Gale makes sense considering I do have a history of punching Gale Weathers in the face.
"You see copycat killers repeating notorious murders is fairly common especially when they can just watch a movie of it courtesy of you Gale Weathers. Wouldn't you say the same Agent Jareau?" I smile professionally no ounce of anger but the words doing all the battling for me.
JJ clears her throat, "Back to what I was saying. We just want the community to know we are pursuing all leads and are speedily working to close this case and bring the whole situation under control."
JJ is quickly cut off by a woman's scream and everyone looks in the direction of the scream. A body is thrown from the rooftop and everyone scrambles and screams. I couldn't pull my gun in a situation like this it was way too crowded. Next thing I know I'm being pulled into someone's arm as the body lands with a loud thud on top of a news van. The body hits the news crew's van camera sending sparks and wires everywhere and causing the crowd to scream even more. I wrestle out of the person's grasp holding me. There was no way Ghostface would put themselves in a crowd of people to get me and I oddly felt comforted by this person holding on to me shielding me from the sparks but I had to protect the civilians.
I struggled against the hold no matter how comforting it was, "let me go."
Spencer whispers soothingly to me, " You have to stay back, you're a target."
"We have to secure the crowd," I look at him determinedly but my eyes soften when they meet his worried eyes.
"Prentiss and Rossi have it covered, you need to worry about yourself," he assures.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes purely because Spencer's eyes are looking at me like a wounded puppy. I nod at him to hopefully soothe some of his nerves.
He pushes my stray hair behind my ear, "Please, look after yourself."
"Jeez, Spencer you are practically begging," I try to make light of the awful situation. It is what I do best.
"If begging is what it takes for you to take care of yourself I'd beg on my knees," he says so seriously I suck in a deep breath and my face turns fifty shades of red.
I hear Alvez shout from the roof, "There's no one up here Prentiss!"
That jumpstarts me back into reality and I awkwardly pull away from Spencer's arms.
"I need to check up on Dewey," I stuttered much more flustered and breathy than I meant to.
Spencer smiles at my reaction and I can tell he is taking joy in how flustered he made me. I definitely need to get him back at a future date if Ghostface doesn't kill me first. I make my way to the news van where Dewey is currently checking the woman for a pulse. Gale is unfortunately right there as well ready with a microphone in hand.
"The BAU has this totally under control. Right, Y/n?" She says full of sarcasm.
I clench my teeth and growl, "Sid and Dewey may have forgiven you but I never will. You are the reason for the movies and the movies are the reason for the nonstop copycats."
"You don't have to like me, I happen to have a lead and you don't," she grins.
"Gale," Dewey warns.
"Let me know when y'all all back on team Gale!" She shouts and storms off into the crowd.
"Why did you marry her again?" I look up to Dewey.
"Says the girl making nonstop goo-goo eyes at her coworker," he chastises.
I look back at Spencer and back at Dewey, "I am not!"
"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt darling. I also never said which coworker, " he smirks.
I am getting mad at how flushed my cheeks have been getting today. They are total traitors to my emotions. "Shut up Dewey."
Spencer taps my shoulder, oh my god when did he get there! And how much of this conversation did he hear?
"Prentiss wants all of us to head back to the precinct to form a profile," Spencer relays the information.
I nod a little too aggressively than needed but hopefully, it erases the conversation from his mind that Dewey and I were having... then I remember his photographic memory. Damn, his perfect mind!
"Yes. Yes. Gonna be a long night so let's get going... see you back at the station Dewey," I say awkwardly silently cursing myself.
"See you both back at the station," Dewey nods and winks at me. I am fuming now is not the time to make me awkward and tease me!
#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x you#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x self insert#criminal minds fic#criminal minds x y/n#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x you#criminal minds fanfiction
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I know it's just fiction and it's not that serious but I can't take it anymore I am tired of negative conversations about Wanda's kids and people comparing her to other characters sorry if the English is bad...just woke up from a short nap
they always bring this "Super-Strong-super-smart famous-character" blah blah and they’re like “well this Character is so smart and good at fighting and complex he can solo Wanda" or sometimes the repetitive "Wanda have fake kids they just have to say that to defeat her wah wah" it's so annoying...like Wanda's children is not just "fake" if you actually watch WV you would get what I mean, SHE GAVE BIRTH TO THEM, she feels them growing in her belly, they are Alive and...she raised them and celebrate birthdays with them, cook for them...they are real to her she loves her sons and they loved her.... that's why she's so sad and affected when they disappear....like what would you feel if the person you love just disappear and people tells you that they are "fake they don't matter" and also stop saying that you could defeat Wanda by just telling her that her "children are fake" your literally just gonna make her angry. Also the reason her children disappear is bcuz their physical body can only exist inside the hex, they have a soul and they probably got reincarnated like in the comics.
And also why are y'all so normal and calm about making abusive jokes on children? They are kids played by real kids... like why do you want to hit children so badly? I agree that the "song" that they sings is awkward and cringe but is it really needed for you to make disgusting abusive jokes??
Fuck you Kevin feige for Ruining everything you should have just leave wanda's character alone fuck you Michael Waldron for writing that shitty script fuck you Brian Michael bendis for writing that shitty comic storyline and fuck you John Byrne all of this started because you can't draw babies
Wanda Knows hand to hand combat, she's not that physically weak...sure yeah Natasha or Clint could beat her in hand to hand. it’s wanda. She’s not a Martial Artist. but i hate that people like to say that she's weak and "cant fight" she's not like daredevil or Cap but she CAN fight (watch infinity war or the deleted scenes) and also she's not DUMB she's not Just a regular human with powers she's part of the avengers and she study the book of the damned in her cabin for months or years(not sure about the gap between WV and dsmom)SHE'S IS NOT CLUELESS about magic she literally know how to dreamwalk and did it too without the book, she managed to outsmart Agatha, she summons gargantos and that ribboned demon and managed to kill defender!strange and if it weren't for her kids snapping her out of her murderous rampage she would have won she literally defeats herself... Both America and strange literally said they can't defeat her....Stop underestimating and undermining her..so just you could make your fav look good...I don't care about her being the most powerful but you do and if it's bother that's not my fault... Why are u are so insecure.... she's dead already please leave her alone and I don't care about her being popular or ur fav being more more....I want Wanda to become underated again...I miss the days where the scarlet witch fandom is quiet....
sorry again... the English is bad and its jumbled and rushed i just woke up after having a bad dream and also I can't stop thinking about some of the disgusting comments I read on YouTube bout her kids.... grown man hating on children for acting like normal...children I am so annoyed and disgusted.
#ignore me#or not#here's me taking fiction seriously again#why are people making jokes about hitting and hurting Children? y'all are disgusting#wanda maximoff#i miss wanda:(#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda maximoff headcanons#wanda maximov#scarlet witch#the scarlet witch#billy kaplan#tommy shepherd#wiccan#speed#wandavision#marvel#mcu fandom critical#anti mcu#anti marvel#mcu#wanda ramblings#america chavez#stephen strange#brian michael bendis#marvel comics#616 wanda maximoff#wanda#Maximoff girl ramblings#txt post
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10 Letters to Mom - Mischa angst
Mischa is instructed to write letters to his mother as if she were still alive to cope with losing her. He doesn’t write often, but the letters convey a lot.
Letters from Mischa Bachinski to his late mom, translated from his slightly broken English by Ezra Lamb, St. Cassian’s student, in memory of the boy, lost to the September 14th accident.
Letter 1: Dated September 9th, 2008
Dear mom,
The counselor says I should write to someone I love to practice my English. And so, I am writing to you. Perhaps I will burn these letters by firelight, in hopes the smoke will travel up to you.
Canada is not as nice as I thought it would be. Classes are terrible. In maths I have to sit between a snotty ginger and a strange poet boy. It makes no sense, how all of these people exist together in this tiny town. Home is no better. I do not think Chris and Carly like me that much. No, I will not call them mom and dad.
I still miss you. Part of me still yearns to be a helpless boy again, still in your arms.
I miss you.
Love, your son,
Mischa
Letter 2: Dated October 24th, 2008
Mom,
I was suspended. I’m so sorry. I promised you I would be your good son, your small boy always. But I got angry. I was spiteful, and I wanted a drink, a drink always makes things better. And I only knew one way to get one.
I know you said that churches are sacred and not to be crossed, but I heard the ginger from maths say she knew the pastor, knew where the communion wine was kept. I milked every last bit of information from her, promising to join her stupid choir. It doesn’t matter, I need the alcohol.
3 whole boxes I stole before she ratted me out to Father Markus.
I drank it all in one night. And the next morning, Saturday, as I lay there, hungover in the basement, I wondered how I was ever going to make my life worth it for you. I still do not know.
I’m sorry, mom.
Love, Mischa
Letter 3: Dated November 17th, 2008
Mother,
I have a new hobby. I think you’d be proud—I am learning to sing. Not opera, or the god-awful jazz that poet boy listens to during study hall, no, this is the good stuff. Real, bonerfied rap music. (note: I know it’s supposed to say bonified, but Mischa would think boner-fied is hilarious, may he rest in peace —Ezra)
I even created a channel on this thing called the YouTube���it is called “Bad Egg” because it is an egg, that is bad. Bad is a good thing, it means cool, or that is what the football boys think. Maybe this new thing will turn out well. I am raging, mother, for you and for Ukraine. And when I rage, I rap about money in autotune.
I will inspire the world. My life will have meaning once again.
Love, Mischa
Letter 4: Dated December 30th, 2008
Mom!
I have got the biggest, greatest news. I have found LOVE! Me, your silly boy, your little child that you raised all by yourself, is engaged!
Ever since my YouTube channel was born, a certain beautiful woman has been leaving kind comments on my YouTube comments wall. Her name is Natalia, and last night she had the courage to message me. She announced her love for me over the internet, and it is a truly beautiful thing. She even sent me picures, and she is the most gorgeous woman I have ever met.
I wish that you could have lived long enough to meet my perfect Talia, for when I look into her almond eyes, I do not see the boy I am, but the man I must become to possess her. I am growing up, mama, but I promise I will always be here, and that you will always be in my heart.
Love, Mischa
Letter 5: Dated January 31st, 2009
Dear mom,
I want to tell you about choir.
Most of the school is scared of me, they think I am some bad boy who lives in the woods. But the choir seems to just have it out for me. Annoying ginger is the leader: she is stuck-up, and a real pain in my you know what. Her real name is Ocean, which I suppose fits, because she is salty and rough and probably drowns people. Poet boy is there too, his name is Noel, and he is the least insufferable of the group. He is gay, which is fine, but funny because if he were a girl, he would so be my type. He is nice, but odd. Then there is a boy named Ricky. This month, Ocean decided she needed to prove that choir was accessable for all, so she got boy who cannot speak to join. I never know what he is thinking. He is scary. Last, there is Constance. Sometimes she cries in the corner when she thinks the others do not see. I see. I wonder if she is okay. I hope she knows I am not okay. I hope she knows she is not lonely.
I thought choir was going to be the bane of my existance. But…I think it has grown on me.
I miss you. I love you.
Love, Mischa
Letter 6: Dated March 6th, 2009
Hello mom,
Yesterday was Noel’s birthday, so Constance brought in cupcakes for everyone. They were red velvet, and very tasty, much better than Carly’s cooking. Carly is no replacement mother, and her basement has cockroaches. I sleep with the roaches. Perhaps I will name them.
I continue to make videos, and to make love with Talia when I can. I hope I get to meet her some day. In fact, I know I will. Mom, I want to come back to Ukraine. I will meet Talia, and we will love each other in person.
Tomorrow, we are singing at a local soccer game. We are singing some song that Father Markus wrote for us. I do not want to be on stage. I guess I will have to get comfortable with it.
It‘s getting late, almost time to meet Talia. I love you mom.
Your son, Mischa.
Letter 7: Dated May 15th, 2009
Mom, I have a dilemma.
Please, tell me you wouldn’t be upset if I told you that I think maybe I like boys?
Last night, Ocean hosted a choir get-together at her place. It was small and cramped. She and Constance ended up sharing the sofa, Ricky took the armchair, leaving myself and Noel on a blow-up air mattresss. I tried so, so hard to give him space, but I’m not a small guy, and somehow we ended up nestled together under the blankets, somehow I ended up lost in his eyes and staring at his lips-
It felt like betrayal. Like if Talia knew, she would have my head. She wants me to be loyal.
But how can I be loyal when Noel watches me with those stupid baby cow eyes? How can I stay at her side when Noel is right there?
It’s so confusing, mom.
-Mischa
Letter 8: Dated June 19th, 2009
School is finally out, mom. I spend every day scrambling for ways to make a quick buck so I can buy cheap vodka. It’s a bad habit, but hard to kick. I wish I could kick it, I do…
But instead, I beat a kid for a 20 dollar bill from his enemy, sold the foster folks’ antique china, and now am in even more heat with them. They cry at my presence and shoo me away like fly.
I do not mind. At least I do not have to go to school and see Noel and his stupid sparkly eyes and his stupid beautiful face. I will spend this summer with Talia, like I’m supposed to.
Letter 9: Dated August 18th, 2009
It is my birthday. I woke up to a box of cupcakes sitting on the floor above the basement stairs. Carly says they were left for me by the Blackwoods. I opened the box, and they were chocolate with vanilla icing, but found strawberry jam in the center when I bit in, a pleasant surprise. There was also a note. It said “happy birthday Mischa! Love Constance, Ricky, Ocean and Noel”
I smiled when I saw it. I hated being in the choir, but it might just be one of the better parts of my life now.
I am 18 now, and that means I can do lots of things. Hopefully one of those is coming back to Ukraine. I miss home, I miss home, I miss home.
I do want to see Talia, but part of me wants to bring Noel home with me. You’d love him, mama.
Your son (now an adult),
Mischa
Letter 10: Dated September 14th, 2009
Mom,
This letter will not be too long, because I am singing with the choir at the Fall Fair this afternoon. It is 6:00 am and I am scrawling some quick words across this paper. Tonight I will tell Noel how I feel. I will tell him I love him and that I have eyes for him. I will tell him soon.
Tomorrow, I will write again and tell you how it goes.
I can’t wait to have him in my arms, mom.
Your son,
Mischa
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Brain Curd #261 - Twenty-Minute Tuesday #30
Brain Curds are lightly edited daily writing - usually flash fiction and sometimes terrible on purpose.
A young woman, early twenties, stepped up to the front of the line at the grocery store. The cashier, another woman around the same age, scanned and bagged each item on the conveyor belt.
“Did you find everything okay?” She asked, not really caring to hear the answer.
“Hm.”
Dammit. Now she had to ask for specifics. “What items were you unable to find?”
“No, no… maybe?”
“Miss?”
“Sorry, you just look so familiar… Where do I know you from?”
“I wouldn’t know for sure, miss, but I’ve worked here for a couple years now.”
“That couldn’t be it. I’m from out of town. Did you go to Grover Cleveland Elementary School?”
“No.”
“Grover Cleveland Middle School?”
“No.”
“Grover Cleveland High School?”
“No. Why are they all named after the same guy?”
“To honor his two nonconsecutive terms as president. Also they were all technically the same school.”
“Well, I’ve lived in this city my whole life, so I probably didn’t go to school with you.”
“What about… no, that’s not it either.”
“Your total comes out to forty-eight and twelve cents.”
“I have to figure this out. What college did you go to.”
“You see me working in a grocery store and assume I went to college?”
The customer grimaced in silence.
“UCLA.���
“Damn… I went to Grover Cleveland University.”
“Well, miss, you’ll just have to figure it out another time. There are people waiting. Cash or card?”
“Wait! Say that again!”
“Uh… Cash or card?”
The customer smacked her hands together and pointed up in the air. “I’ve got it! You make YouTube videos about discount pet kibble!”
“What does that have to do with the phrase, ‘cash or card’? Also, no, I have no idea what that is.”
“Come on, yes you do! That’s what the channel is called! There’s no way you came up with that independently.”
“Yeah, I didn’t. It’s in the training manual.”
“Hm…” The customer rubbed her chin. “So that YouTuber must be one of your coworkers…”
“At… Target? Maybe. I guess. Can you please pay for your purchase so the next person can start their transaction?”
The customer looked behind her to see the line of angry faces. She tilted her head. “Hm… you all look very familiar.”
The second customer scoffed and held up a hand mirror from her purse. “Then why don’t you recognize yourself?!?”
“Aaaah!” She screamed. Her cart was full of half-price dog chow. She was YouTuber all along!
Please comment, reblog, like, and follow if you enjoyed - I'd love to know what you think! See you again tomorrow.
#NSC Original#Brain Curd#Brain Curds#writing#creative writing#writeblr#flash fiction#author#writer things#writers#writers on tumblr#writers of tumblr#writerscommunity#women writers#female writers#queer writers#daily writing#Brain Curd 261#Twenty-Minute Tuesday#Self Check-Out#absurdist comedy#absurdism
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I’m sorry if you find it strange but u want to share this with someone.
Today was so eye-opening day for me actually. You know, I’ve been a fan of BTS for 1,5 year now, but three months ago I followed pjm accounts and started this path. Today I’ve tried to recollect why did I choose to be like this?
I’ve remembered that it was when I argued with old adjuma about Jimin and his talent on YouTube. She said so many disgusting things about him under each good comment about him, it made me so angry.
And I got that you cannot be an army with Jimin as your bias. It’s only one way - if you really, truly love Jimin the only way of sincerely loving him is to be PJM. I tried to be army and biasing Jimin, but it failed because you have to live with trashy nasty taekookers that hate on Jimin 24/7, have to deal with hate from fans of hyung line that diminish Jimin’s talent - Jimin is not the best dancer because dance leader is Hoseok, Jimin means nothing for Serendipity because Rm wrote it etc. they don’t even care for him enough to DEFEND him from antis, pushing weird narratives about him without even knowing about the actual plot and busy with making those stupid jokes and videos that harm Jimin. Not to mention their weird obsession with seeing him as a weak girly-boy
“Oh look omg Jimin changed so much😭 he said that boys don’t kiss and now he said what the heck is man” they are full of lies, making this all just to get attention not even knowing the real plot behind the scenes. They set him up by himself and he still has maturity and kindness to say thank you to those who act like this.
There no way to be army and loving Jimin sincerely, you only have to become PJM or be really strong warrior and handle those fandom weirdos who shit on him every single day
The labeling of army isn’t the issue. It’s that it became synonymous with people who don’t care about jimin. There’s a lot of jimin biased people that I know of from twitter who broke away from armys and still despise solos stans. So labeling yourself as a pjm is necessarily the only route. (plus there’s a chunk of pjms who are aggy too) They just detach and refer to themselves as some other third thing. I refer myself as a “pjm” but labels don’t matter to me. I’m just a jimin stan. There’s varying degrees of how we all navigate it, but overall, we all had to get away from armys to not feel persecuted for just wanting to support jimin since they’ve made that fandom such an unwelcoming place to do that.
I do know of a few army accounts in particular who’ve been loud about being jimin biased and aren’t fake at all about it. They call armys out on their bs and everything, but they also get accused of being solos all the time so honestly there’s no winning for us. I’ll never go back into that environment.
#I was gonna make a post about what’s been going on with nj solos though#still might even thought it’s kinda redundant
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So it's after 6am and I've had barely any sleep because my mind is racing so here's why my party went to shit. Hopefully getting this out somewhere will make me feel better. I'm sorry this is so long.
It started off feeling a bit ahhhh because my dress was a scratchy sensory nightmare. I also wore make-up. I never wear make-up because I hate how it feels on my skin so I was already feeling a bit horrible. So i changed out of my dress and felt a bit better.
Also, I invited my sister and she never showed up. I asked her to just pop in for an hour because she deserves a break (my eldest niece is going through some terrible puberty emotional stuff; been expelled from school; sister has a very misogynistic bf who does nothing to help her in the house so she's balancing everything and close to breakdown herself). So I felt upset about that but got over it and I completely understood why. It's a good job she didn't come along after all.
Things changed when alcohol happened (obvs). We had a couple of drinks and were singing along to some angry 90s girly pop and I felt really happy. I decided I didn't want any more drink for a while which BFF didn't like and kept trying to pressure me to drink more. I think that's when I started to kinda disconnect??
Anyway, she then spent wayyyyy over an hour (probably two hours tbh) just talking to my husband about her boyfriend. Telling D her bf's entire life story including really intimate details. Her bf is a musician in his spare time and he's currently working on an album. She wanted to end my playlist so we could listen to his youtube back catalogue of black metal songs. D is an expert on dealing with people who have drunk a lot (sadly; his dad was an alcoholic) so he was kinda handling all of this while I was sitting there feeling like a billy no mates at my own party. Honestly, she didn't look at me once. I'm sitting on the other settee on the other side of the room like that fucking John Travolta staring around meme.
Then when she did involve me (like, over an hour later) she starts comments about mine and D's intimate life and she's showing me all of these photos she's taken of me and saying how sexy I look in them all and I have to change them to my profile pic. I did not look great in them. I hated every single photo. Then she grabs the glowstick dick (this is a long story, it's a tradition that we make a dick out of glowsticks when we meet up) and starts rubbing it against me telling me to do stuff to the dick and pretend it's D, and if I don't wanna pretend it's D then pretend it's a couple of the men I've talked to online. I used to chat to blokes online for a bit of fun. D knew about it and never had a problem with it. It was all consensual fun stuff. I told her in confidence and didn't expect it to be brought up. I was just slowly feeling humiliated. By this point she's drunk a bottle and a half of rum (I KNOW. I only got the second bottle in bc I'd had the first for a while, sealed, but was worried about it) and I've had three drinks that I've slowly sipped over five or so hours so I'm still very sober. But I could feel myself spiralling. Like, my social battery is running out and I can't socially mask any longer so I said I was going to sit in the bedroom for five minutes because it's cooler and I'm gonna take off my make-up.
And I knew right then I just won't be able to go for the tattoo on Thursday. I don't have enough social energy left to do it. My mood has only started to get better after getting pierced. I know my own limits and I know I can't do it. Thankfully my other BFF is on the other end of Whatsapp. She's wise and really helps me to put things in a logic way when I'm spiralling. So she said to just be firm and say I'm going to bed because I'm tired and I need some rest.
So when I calmed down I did that and I thought I'd be honest about not being able to go to get the tattoo. Then things just got worse. She started saying I have to go and get it; that she, D, and my dad will practically drag me outside to do it. That we can make a whole day of it by visiting the park and then the pub (this is literally the worst thing I can do). And I'm trying to be firm and assertive and not mask and lay down my boundaries. I said no, I can't do it. I know a couple of days before I need to do something if I can do it or not. Like when I've been to the dentist or I got pierced, I might have been an anxious wreck but I knew deep down inside that I could do it. I know I can't do this. My mind won't change. She started arguing that I'll feel different on Thursday and I'm letting myself down (the other worst thing to say to me). She starts saying we should get some more rum tomorrow and have the party again because I've ended it early and it's not a proper party. Also that if I'm still drunk I'll get through the tattoo easier (wtf no). And I'm no fun, and I've been planning this for a year only to end it early by basically being a boring old fart.
By this point, I'm crying. I'm sitting there feeling like I'm being told off by my mum. She's saying all the stuff my mum would when I'd have a meltdown about having to go to family parties or if I just didn't want to go sit outside. BFF is completely ratarsed just having a go at me. She hasn't even noticed I'm crying. So I just stood and announced I was going to bed. I texted D from the bedroom to ask him if he could tidy up all of the buffet food and decorations. I lay on the bed and just silently sobbed until I kinda passed out.
I woke up when D came to bed and then I cried some more. I asked if she'd said anything about the tattoo or me coming to bed and she said she wanted to hatch a plan with him to force me to go outside. Then she started to talk more about her bf and their life and stuff that made D feel very uncomfortable. I'm going to have to do something nice for D or buy him something nice as a thank you for dealing with it all like an absolute pro. I cried into him and then had a really good chat with my other BFF about everything which made me feel better. I thought maybe I'd feel better after some sleep and I do, but in the way that it's just given me even more clarity that I definitely can go do on Thursday. My mood is still terrible and all I want to do is cry.
Tbh I just wanna stay in my room. She's here til Friday and I don't know how I'm gonna face her. D is going to cancel the tattoo for me later today and say I have covid. I might reschedule at some point and get a different tattoo just for me to celebrate my birthday. I'm so mentally drained I don't know how I'm going to get through my actual birthday on Saturday. I wanted to visit my parents but I can't even see myself leaving the flat. I feel crushed tbh. I hadn't seen her for five years. She hasn't changed. She's always been this loud and gone on and on about the men she's seeing (on my wedding day she spent 12 hours on myspace chatting to a boy she fancied, so she has form) but I think since realising I'm potentially autistic, my understanding of my behaviours has changed so I have boundaries now to prevent further mental breakdowns being worse in the long run. So I've really changed. I'm not just willingly going along with shit. I don't want to mask and I don't want to people please.
If you read this, thank you. She's here til Friday and I don't know how I'm gonna get through it because now I just wanna stay in bed, watch comfort TV, and do some work on my writing. I'm 40 years old in three days time. I'm too old for this sort of stuff to be happening. This stuff is shit that should happen 20 years ago. I just wanted a cute day where I listened to all of my favourite songs, had a beige buffet, and it was all good vibes.
Thank you all for your very sweet comments too. I kept coming to check on here to give my anxious hands something to do and reading them really made me smile while all of this stuff was going down. I have some of the best followers xxxx
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I’ve been randomly consumed by the concept of an LMK Gravity Falls AU (thanks to YouTube comments) Here’s what I’ve got so far:
MK- Dipper
Mei- Mabel
Macaque- Stan
Wukong- Ford
Red Son- Pacifica
DBK and PIF- the Northwest parents
Spider Queen- Gideon (I’m so sorry Queen 😔 but you do both build a mech and serve the main antagonist before turning against them and also exist mostly as a minor annoyance aside from your one big moment)
LBD- Bill
Sandy, Tang, and Pigsy all kind of vaguely fulfill the concept of Soos, Wendy, and Stan but not so much in a story manner
-MK finds the staff (which had been left behind much like the Journals, except Macaque left it where it was because he couldn’t lift it) and unlocks his powers in messy and chaotic ways so he and Mei train on FFM with Macaque
-Macaque is pretending to be the Monkey King, claiming he “started going by Mac around mortals, might be easier for all of us if you called me that too”
-MK and Mei get into various demon-related shenanigans thanks to MK being Monkey King’s successor. Macaque himself rarely shows up to help with those unless they’re in actual danger because he doesn’t want it getting out that the Monkey King is missing and that the Six-Eared Macaque is impersonating him
-Macaque: “I can’t lift the staff or use my Monkey King powers anymore because I passed them on to you. Heh, it’s okay, gold never was my color anyway”
-he and Wukong had their big falling out under the mountain, and after that, they didn’t see each other for ages. LBD grabbed a hold on Wukong’s mind during a thoughtless, impulsive move of his, and while she can’t quite possess him without her full power, she can feed his negative emotions and whisper thoughts into his head. He knows this and calls out to Macaque for help with “a curse” without explaining why (as usual)
-Macaque, the simp he is, arrives to help and immediately gets met with an LBDified angry Wukong ready to kill him. Mac, confused and upset, can’t keep up with a full-powered not-holding-back Wukong, and loses his eye. He panickedly pulls him into a shadow portal that he can’t control because his powers are going haywire with his panic and fear. He’s been dreading Wukong’s return, but in recent years, he’s gotten concerned and been trying to locate him because if Wukong hasn’t returned after this long, could he be… gone?
-Wukong chooses to spend time hunting down information on how to end LBD instead of returning, and he gathers the rings of Samadhi. He returns to FFM where he senses Mei (ya know, descendant of Ao Lie and all that), only to find Macaque fighting with a strange kid filled with Wukong’s own glowing light and power. Immediately assuming the worst, he jumps into the “fight” to stop it
-Mac is terrified, and Wukong is just terribly confused because he doesn’t know why he’s THAT afraid of him, the two haven’t even seen each other since their big argument… right?
-MK and Mei jump in to protect Mac and Wukong is, again, terribly confused
-MK: “Who the heck are you?”
Wukong: “Uh… I’m the Monkey King. You have my powers, don’t you know who I am??”
MK: “What? Nah, Mac’s the Monkey King”
(Macaque is very stealthily trying to escape)
Wukong, just befuddled: “Wh— no, I’m the Monkey King. Indisputably. Always have been.”
Mei, who was a little suspicious anyway but still liked Mac: “Prove it. Pick up MK’s staff.”
Wukong: (smirking) “Easy.” (It is in fact very easy) “See, kiddo?”
MK: (jaw-dropped, turning to Mac, who suddenly looks very guilty) “You LIED TO ME??”
Mac, rubbing the back of his neck: “Well—“
MK: “Dammit, I should’ve known Mac didn’t make any sense as a nickname. If you’re not Monkey King, who even are you??”
Wukong, before Mac can say anything: “His name is Macaque. Well, the Six-Eared Macaque is his full name, but— he’s definitely not the Monkey King. He’s a trickster, but,” (baring his teeth) “I never thought he’d stoop to stealing my identity.” (He looks at Macaque, who’s frozen) “Lazy identity theft, at that. What the hell have you been doing with my name, Macaque? Dammit, it’s been YEARS. How petty can you GET?!”
Macaque, finding his voice to be angry: “PETTY?! You TOOK MY EYE!”
-Wukong is, again, as always, confused because he would remember doing that… right? And Mac doesn’t elaborate and they continue bickering (with escalation) until Mei and MK break it up and explain what Macaque has been doing with them and how he hasn’t done anything evil and has, in fact, only been good
-Wukong settles down and decides he wants claim on training his successor which sparks an argument until they agree to compromise. Wukong, as typical, doesn’t tell anyone about the Samadhi fire. They end up bickering a lot during training
-LBD finds them anyway and starts the ritual and kidnaps Mei
-after getting Mei back, they have to all work together to beat her using the Samadhi fire, and they end up having to use it on her while she’s inside of a vessel that isn’t the child she was possessing (because no children murder). Macaque makes the sacrifice in Wukong’s place
-I’m not sure how it ends, but Macaque does come back :))
-the end, it’s 3:30AM and I have many more thoughts but am so so eepy
#lmk monkey king#lmk six eared macaque#lmk wukong#lmk mei#lmk sun wukong#lmk mk#au#alternate universe#lmk macaque#lego monkie kid
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Angry Depressed rant about Tekken fandom
It's now three more days until Tekken 8. One of the only things I want from this game is just to simply do damage control and retcon Tekken 6 already (just fucking say Azazel brainwashed Jin like how Ogre brainwashed Nina in T3 or Cammy was brainwashed by M.Bison) - I mean they can fucking retcon Jinpachi having the devil gene and Heihachi's motivations in Tekken 7 but not Jin starting a war??? Let's be real, Tekken 6's story mode and Harada's fucking favoritism for his precious creator's pet Heihachi Mishima ruined everything EVERYTHING. Harada and Murray keep basically villainzing and putting both Jin and Kazuya (aka the true tragic victims of the story) in a bad light to make Heihachi and Lars look good. Not even Masashi Kishimoto's favoritism for fucking Itachi Uchiha or Studio Pierrot's favoritism for Hinata Hyuga was this BAD. They fucked over Jin in Tekken 6 for the sake of Lars (that would be like if Dante from Devil May Cry was suddenly a genocidal war criminal for the sake of making Nero look good or if Mega Man X became a genocidal maverick for the sake of making Axl look badass - it's just cheap, lazy, and insulting). Kazuya is a victim of Harada's bullshit too, I mean in Tekken 7 they basically villainized a child abuse survivor who lost everything all because of his father while trying to make his abuser look sympathetic because Kazuya has the Devil Gene. Which makes seeing all the stupid Jin vs Kazuya debates bullshit on twitter and r/Tekken even more painful to look at because at the end of the day, the truth is that their characters got ruined for the sake of fucking Heihachi, Lars, and Reina.
Even worse, no one ever acknowledges this shit. NO ONE ever does. They just hate on Jin for ONE fucking game. They keep characterizing Jin like how he was in Tekken 6 - like that is how he always was since the beginning. Ignoring the existence of his personality and potrayal in Tekken 3-5. I remember having seen so many terrible Jin Kazama bashing fan fiction where Jin is potrayed as a ultra pure evil sociopathic r*pist monster who kills and r*pes both Hwoarang and Xiaoyu to make other characters like Kazuya and Lars look good. I have seen a god awful Naruto/Tekken crossover fanfic where Jin r*ped poor Sasuke Uchiha 50 times and pissed and pooped on Sasuke just to make Sasuke's lover Naruto and his brother Itachi look good and prove that Naruto and Itachi are the strongest anime characters of all time. Fortunately those god awful fan fictions are gone for good after the great fanfiction.net purge of 2012. But now there's still some fanfic on ao3 where Jin constantly gets r*ped by either Kazuya or Miguel as "punishment for his war crimes". Also don't even get me started on all the repetitive discourse about "Jin Kazama bad/evil because Tekken 6 so he should fucking die" on r/Tekken and the Youtube comments section that is still ongoing to this day. At this rate, if things don't get better I might actually take a break from Tekken and migrate straight back to the Berserk fandom and the Naruto fandom. Damn it...sorry if got too emotional there, I just wanted to let my thoughts out of here and I want things to go back to the way they used to be for us Jin Kazama fans.
I'm at the point where I seriously believe they're not gonna retcon Jin's actions in Tek8 and they seriously are just going with the "I'm sowwy I'm good now tho fr fr :3 :3" bit. Which... YEAH, while I'm still glad that Jin is returning to his old characterization, I do find it extremely difficult to fully enjoy it when they're still treating Tekken 6 as completely canon. Just because if it's not gonna be retconned, there's just no real explanation why Jin would suddenly turn into the cruelest motherfucker in Tek6, only for him to... revert back to his caring self in Tekken 8???? Like it's so inconsistent, and VERY bad inconsistent. Especially when all the characters (HIS VICTIMS!!! SUCH AS LARS AND ALISA!!) are being so supportive of him. Which some ppl would try to say "oh, well it's either be nice to the war criminal or get killed by Kazuya!" And it's like... ok. True. But there is a difference between being nice to somebody you need, versus telling them how proud you are of them, being straight up buddies, y'know? Lars and Jin literally have a reference to Ken and Ryu lmao.
And I will just NEVER understand why they don't retcon 6. It's so bizarre. No, I don't think everything should just be retconned but like. If you're gonna retcon things that weren't even problems to begin with (as you said, Jinpachi having the devil gene) then why can't they retcon something that most people DID have a problem with? Something that REALLY IS an inconsistency with the plot? Brainwashing is an easy excuse because it happens so often in fighting games. If Azazel can telepathically speak to Jin, then who's to say he couldn't do anything else to Jin's head? They can also use that as to why Jin was wildly inconsistent in 6 itself. (Going from insulting Alisa while she died, to claiming he's doing everything for the better good. You can say he wasn't in his right mind because he was literally brainwashed, but trying to break free from it - which he successfully did right before defeating Azazel.) I've said this several times now, but even if it was retconned that Jin was brainwashed - you can still have the whole "guilt" plot with him. Because yeah... even if somebody wasn't in control of their actions, they might still feel guilty if somebody used their body to carry out atrocities. Or like I often state in my depiction, Jin also feels guilty for his weakness, for not being able to fight off Devil and keep control.
It DRIVES me wild too. Like people talk about how Kazuya is being villainized just to prop Heihachi up, but for some reason not as many people bring up how Jin is also a victim of this. Both Kazuya and Jin, who were literally abused by Heihachi as innocent minors, are being depicted as The Worst People. Yeah, Kazuya's a pretty scummy guy despite what he went through... but to act like he's worse than Heihachi by retconning Heihachi to look better all while making both Jin and Kazuya worse is just wild. What made me really, REALLY mad is when Harada noticed that fans were still INSISTING that Jin's a hero, and he had to actually say "UHM ACTUALLY JIN STARTED WARS JIN STILL MORALLY GRAY CUZ OF THAT" but then he had THE GALL to say that Heihachi just "looks like an evil character"
OKAY, so JIN IS EVIL, OR AT LEAST, QUESTIONABLE BUT HEIHACHI IS NOT EVIL. Because... he's honest with himself???? He sure as fuck wasn't honest with nobody else! HE LIED TO HIS GRANDSON FOR 4 YEARS AND THEN KILLED HIM ONCE HIS GRANDSON WAS OF NO USE TO HIM. This really just shows how Harada views the characters based on his favoritism. (Even if he claims that Jin is his second favorite. Sure.)
Even though I like Lars, I'm gonna be honest - like most things in Tek6, I don't really fully understand the point of his character (in that game). Jin was already supposed to be the "good Mishima" - that was the whole point. So... why make Jin actually Bad, only to introduce... another Mishima that's the "good Mishima"????? Why not... just keep Jin the way he is lol. My brother said the point was that Lars was supposed to go evil, too, because Heihachi said some stupid shit about Mishimas all betraying each other and being bad to him in 6. But I'm really not sure if that was their intention or not. Like if they were really gonna go with the "All Mishima Bad" story, then why not have the main character be somebody totally unrelated? And idc what anyone tries to say bc Harada lied about it, Jin was never intended to be a bad guy, he was just a tragic hero - that's it.
And REINA... my god, Reina. Like yeah, she looks cool - I understand the hype. My biggest problem with her (originally) was her connection with Heihachi. I didn't care for another Surprise! Mishima family member. But My God, it really does feel at times that... Jin and Kazuya are being overshadowed because of the Reina hype. It actually had some fans asking if she's gonna be the true main character. Which I find it very disappointing that the long awaited Jin vs Kazuya fight, as well as Jun's first appearance in a main game after 27 years is being overshadowed by a new Heihachi kid OC ffs. I mean, when the game was first announced - they were hyping up Jun. But then after Reina was discovered... it just seemed like Reina Reina Reina lol.
FANS DRIVE ME WILD TOO OMGGG. Like fans will ALWAYS refer to Jin as a Forever The Worst Character Ever because of Tekken 6. Which is really bizarre, because they can acknowledge when they believe Kazuya is being written worse just to make Characters Look Better, yet... they can't acknowledge that Jin suffered from Character Assassination in Tekken 6 and how it was literally the only game where he behaved like that. Yes, in 7 - his depiction wasn't great, either. But it was still an improvement from 6. And in 3, 4, 5, and 8 - Jin's character is still mostly consistent. He's a quiet man who wants to help save the world despite the circumstances he's placed. He's a caring person. Yet BECAUSE OF 6... now he's forever seen as a horrible edgelord who's a hypocrite. 🙄 Honestly, I think a retcon is the only way to salvage fans' perception of Jin, and even then... I still think 6 will forever be a stain on Jin's character. Which I'll never forgive it for that.
As for fanfiction... there's a reason why i don't really read fanfics and I'm glad I don't lol. Yes, I know there are good ones... but there are just sooo many bad ones and I just don't really care to read 'em to see if I'd like 'em or not. But when going through live journal for Classic Fandom Posts just to see people's thoughts on Jin back in the day, I did find this post...
and it did make me think there must be a lot of those fics floating around at the time. You've only confirmed that, unfortunately.
I wish things would go back to the way it was, too. (Even if I can't remember what that was like LOL) Because God, I'd LOVE to be able to love this character and go through his tags without seeing a barrage of hate and why the character should die. I'd LOVE to be able to even BRING UP how much I love the character in public spaces without people saying "BUT HE STARTED A WORLD WAR!!111!1 HE'S HORRIBLE AND DESERVES NO GOOD THINGS!11!!" It just gets so exhausting and I understand why it'll upset you. Obvs, it upsets me a lot too, hence why I often go on my own rants. But I think the best thing for you to do is... rather than just completely staying away from the fandom, it's probs best to create your own little space. Like me for example, I've basically stopped interacting with those on Reddit and even on the majority of Tumblr. But since this is a Jin focused blog only, luckily other like-minded Jin fans find my blog, and we can all enjoy the character and understand what he is and isn't without others trying to hate on him. While I don't have fun on other websites, I can at least have fun with the character here and that makes me super happy.
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Tales of Arcadia: Complete
A little while ago, I made a post saying that the last media related to the Tales of Arcadia I needed to see to complete it would be the movie Rise of the Titans
Well, I finally finished watching it
Edit: I forgot to say this but I am Brazilian and I watched the shows/movie in Brazilian Portuguese so there are some diferences I forgot to make a check of. Bobby is Toby/Robot Gun is Gun Robot. Tell me in comments if I forgot anything else. Sorry
First things first, I have to tell you i'm the type of person that doesn't care about spoilers. I already knew who was going to die.
I also already knew of the infamous "time travel for Bobby" ending
I also have to tell I'm a high-time (action/chases/fight scenes) dudebro "main attraction" kind of person
To me, the main characters and the main plot will always be more important in the grand scheme of the story and that secondary characters and b-plots should be there to support it and if they take more space than I think it's needed, I will be bothered
So...what are my thoughts? Well
The sub-plot with Steve becoming pregnant was...a metaphorical overflow to the cup that was my patience. Steve himself is a overflow to that cup but I'm straight up skipped the scene of birth because at that point I was done with it
Can anyone explain why did Bellroc's Titan come from the North Chinese Sea? I can understand Greenland for ice guy because cold nation and my home for Nari because our florest is notable enough to the point of being called Earth's lung (thank you nature for putting that effort on THIS place of all places) but why the North Chinese Sea for Bellroc?
...Is it wrong to say that I was expecting more from the Robot Gun vs Bellroc fight?
I mean, when you hear the name "Robot Gun" and hear that he's fighting a walking volcano, you expect a giant walking arsenal (especially after watching 3below with the Serrators) and that if the fight with the walking volcano was going to be a curbstomp, it would at least let the robot show off
I love that the explanation for the amount of weirdness that appears in Arcadia is that the HeartStone located in Arcadia is one of the first HeartStones in existence but I have two questions:
How did two those pages got stuck?
You mean to tell me Gunmar absorbed the energy of "THAT" HeartStone? (I'm not angry about that fact. I'm just curious)
So with all of that said, it's time I talked about it
Jim's decision to go back in time, let Bobby become the Trollhunter and try to make things work out in the end like the Young Atlas he forces himself to be
...Is it wrong to say that I was okay with it?
I know the popular opinion around this ending but I was kinda fine with it
Don't be fooled, I had many expectations around this ending. I was hoping to find something about it that made it feel wrong or broken to me
But each and every expectation I had about this ending, especially with the other 3 series beforehand to give me a feel of the story as a whole, was fulfilled as I watched
I hoped that the Khronosphere and its power over time was built up and, lo and behold, it had quite a screentime
I hoped that the decision to do it was treated as a last resort, and look and behold, they made sure to treat the situation around the Titans as apocalyptic as possible
And I HOPED (while also hoping it didn't exist) for a scene where they acknowledged how rough, how tough and how heavy such a decision would be to our Young Atlas
When I made that post, when I was preparing to watch the movie and when I was watching the movie, I hoped so much that this scene didn't exist.
I wanted ONE non-hammered/wrongly hammered nail
But, look and behold, that scene existed
The only thing that I guess bothers me is that I always felt through the series to not fully trust Bobby to handle such a task but as a certain video I watched on Youtube related to Discworld once said:
"Scientists believe that's a 1 in a 1.000.000 possiblity. Wizards say that 1- in a 1.000.000 possibilities happens 9 times out of 10"
And Bobby has shown me many times, despite my own opinions of him, that he doesn't think
He Becomes (or in my first language: Transforms Himself)
.........Also, how high is the hope for a sequel where we see how Jim efforts paid up?
#trollhunters#3below#wizards tales of arcadia#toa trollhunters#toa 3below#toa wizards#trollhunters rise of the titans
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12/29/23 Hasan Piker said to please defend him more, finally I have been given the permission I need to sephiroth post. Late Christmas Early New Year Miracle!!!! Drama frog rejoice
(cross posting from reddit)
Hi long time lurker. And look, this is a page about HASAN PIKER. This is the place for what I'm about to do, I'm a girl with a bunch of interests and sometimes those interests intersect in ways I just sit on for years cause quite honestly I'm using "girl" v loosely and I'm 31 woman and I know what "cringe" is because I wrote the book, so I just kinda shit post in comments on twitter to release the stress of being a fan of Hasan, and I don't have a twitter anymore, so I thought I was just going to have to die on this.
But finally, on this day I was watching a clip from the 12-29-23 at 4 in the morning cause I got off work early (https://youtu.be/kMwQQmVMcAw?si=XhjWf6R_O5UgH9MX&t=294) and I got all I need to let out about 4 years of built up Hasan drama. So mods, Daddy said I could so please please please don't delete this. This is perfect fodder on who to block personally and as I will elaborate, I done my time in this community, just let me have my soap box.
Who am I and what give me this authority? (a disclaimer) As stated above I'm up at 4 am, and this is "off early", I work nightshift factory job in middle america who's worked there for 10 years with a long side story I will not bore you with. I found Hasan when he did the breakdown on fb and just liked the way he broke down the news. Is he a perfect person? No. There are many things I wish he didn't do. (Hoobastank) But on the whole, solid person who's world view is refreshing to listen to and I don't lose sleep in supporting my like in him because he tries to be ethical with his spending and its like $5, come on, I can spend $5 to enjoy myself ad free at that top of the hour if I want. I work 12 hour shifts.
But as I said, I work 12 hours, and where Hasan sometimes makes 10 hours of content, I also have other interests and sometimes I'm doing that, sometimes I'm a drama girlie (and it's super sexist if you judge me), sometimes I'm a goblin. And boy howdy how I wish the drama girlies would rally around Hasan because he's chill with QT and Rae, cause then I wouldn't have to do this myself. But alas, we must all sometimes be the change we want to see in the world, and the drama girlies don't know about this filth, so here I am. Youtube channel-less and angry. So I'm gonna vent about the latest drama here for a moment cause I've been sitting on this need since Hasan's biggest mistake, befriend the worlds more admired online deadbead father since Onision, Steven Kenneth Bonnell II (wiki).
The Meat and Potatoes (If you don't want my auto-bio but wanna be a drama goblin with me) I find it ABSOLUTELY INSANE that ANYONE in the dgg orbit thinks they get to get their fucking panties in a twist over "edgy jokes" like mocking Claira "Harassed a woman over a tweet about a cookbook for two years" Sorrenti doing cocaine with a Road Runner gif when she went on a very public bender and harassed every fucking person she could and hides behind being a fucking addict instead of showing even a drop of remorse for her action past the "I want to keep my job and keep calling myself the one true leftist so I'm sorry uwu" video/clip from a stream she didn't even have the time to do on its own, I don't remember but I watched it and she was full of shit cause I don't believe the cocaine bender was 2 years, aka the amount of time she harassed Roslyn Talusan, unless those "tasty noodles" has the flour subbed out with cocaine.
"Oh but but but Hasan said the r slur that one time" harks the orbitor. oh, wow. The community where if I even could edit there is no program around that could make a montauge of the amoung of time even one of your favs has said it, and Hasan has, say it with me, changed and tries not to be a fucking asshole, something you orbitor fucks could never understand.And the most insane of it all is the worse thing you could list of things Hasan REALLY did and has shown zero remorse for, beside the cracker thing, they cheered gleefully because they liked his more dirtbag shit. Hasan having the most unhinged reaction to being asked to not do a fundraiser with Hogwarts Legacy for the trans community, I've never seen them gargle balls harder. WHY?? Cause they wanted to bully Jessie Gender, a truly respectable person.
That was the only real thing. (a bit tongue in cheek I'm too high and this is much longer than I planned on he has done some other things. but they were mouth to sack there too)
"Oh but he was wrong about RUSSIA!!!!!" Do you fire the weather person for being wrong? Shut up.
So to all of them, either get a real job other than being the most annoying online cult or hurry up and drink the coolaid or whatever your own cults endgame is. I've blocked you and you're still leaking through. Idk. Idc. Just leave Hasan Piker Alone.
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me gib eyelashes.
are u rlly still here watching that YouTube kids slop something something u should do something mature like taxes but I know you won't inserts moosenic music what's got u fuming buddy what's got u raging dood did something piss you off you better learn to cope soon this place eats dopes for breakfast you'll need some thicker skin cuz if ur angry now imagine how you'll feel when you check ur bedroom and it's crawling with snakes jax when every step you takes a face full of rakes bam when even seats are threatening a certain sound pooooot ur entertainment who even needs a clownnnn get ur Jax toy get a little laugh boili so ur not down to clown well I won't let that get me down I'm ur jax toy have a little laugh boii I'd say I'm sorry but I'm not that type of party jax toy jax toy jax toy jax toy jax toy jax toy wait please give me a second so let me get this straight the mini jester thinks there's a solution to our fate wait wait let's hear her out for nothing here but time just let us in what will save us here we missed a sign you hear that audience ur in for a show we’re breaking numbers but we’re suffering low and as u chuckle on ur side of the screen I think I’ll join u giving a little beam what is r u crying from the jab to side can’t handle snide comments looking to confide with Ragatha good luck to ya I’m giving gold to those misfortunate enough to end up in a circus from a rancid purchase of a headset just my luck had gone and cursed us you wanna smile to ease ur mind we’ll lighten up so says my sign Caine ur stupid boom box is busted get ur jax toy get a little laugh boi so ur not down to clown well I won’t let that get me down I’m ur jax toy have a little laugh boi I’d say I’m sorry but I’m not that kind of party jax toy jax toy jax toy das me jax toy Jax toy I’ll keep u company Jax toy Jax toy Jax toy still me
#random moosen noises#of#jax toy#nothing else in my nonexistent brain#Just#jax toy Jax toy jax toy#I obviously got some lyrics wrong here#eh
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So I got a lot of backlash on my substance commentary, and this surprised me, because I didn't think people were going to read that at all. I was looking trough the comments and found a lot of anger, and some of it didn't feel like the regular misogyny, people were genuienly upset. I didn't find any arguments that debunk what I said, so I didn't feel the need to engage, but I understood that people really liked this movie, and it meant something to them, they needed to defend it even if they had no arguments to do so. I thought about it for a while, and watched the 'Final Girl Studios' commentary on youtube, which confirmed my own thoughts.
I was able to criticize this movie the way I did, because I was not the target audience. Rather, I'm as far from target audience as it's possible to be. And I perceived the theme wrong. This movie wasn't really trying to make social commentary or depict the evil of the beauty industry, it was merely – a representation of it. And people felt represented by it. Seeing a woman struggle with self hatred about her appearance, about aging, about eating food, or even appearing in public due to how she would be perceived, that is a common struggle of girls and women, and women felt represented by it. Even the part of the movie where the protagonist is depicted as vain and shamed for struggling, was just representation, that's how it feels.
I somehow evaded the femininity struggle, eating struggle, age struggle and the appearing in public struggle, because I could opt out, my survival never depended on it. My job never depended on it. I could just go 'I'm ugly and I'm going to do physical labour and its fine' as a child and never tried to adjust my appearance to fit social standards. Which now feels like a privilege, because despite believing myself ugly, I didn't have to sink into a hell of eating disorders or equate my appearance with my value, I could just not care. So seeing women struggling with that hell hole just made me horrified, when for a woman who goes trough all of this on a daily basis, this is just her normal, this is representation.
So sorry to all the people I made angry with my criticism! I came from a place of ignorance of what your experience is like, and looking at it from outside, it looks horrifying, inhumane, and like a torture to me. I didn't experience it from the inside, so I could only see what the movie failed to do – focus on the root of the problem and explore why things are the way they are. We're not there yet.
If we're coming from a place where the struggle with eating disorders, aging, and beauty standards for women is invisible, then visible representation of it is the next step, the only direction we could go to. To me this felt like not good enough, but we can only take steps forwards, we can't take leaps. I think once we do make this struggle visible enough, we can take the next step and look at who benefits, why is beauty industry like this, who made it, who wants it to continue, who profits off of it, who is getting off to it, who are women dying to try to please, why are women even subjected to the option of 'aging out of a job'.
And also, a way out of it! One reason the movie hit me wrong is because of how deliberate and planned it is; once the protagonist is trapped in changing her body to the beauty standards, there is no turning back for her. It's always going to turn out the way it does. She has to keep going until she is turned into something considered 'less human' by the social perception, and then die. But it never shows a way out of it, a way for it to stop, a way for her humanity to be reclaimed, for beauty standards to no longer matter. I think for this, human warmth is needed, representation of normal and unaltered womens bodies is needed, humanity given to bodies that are altered, positive representation of food is needed, positive representation of women's human needs, social needs, needs for attention, all these being fulfilled in a way that never brings any harm to her. But for that, we couldn't make a horror movie. It would have to be a warm movie about making women feel human again.
And I also think it's okay for me to want more, to think that we deserve more than just representation of suffering, of being dehumanized. It's okay for me to criticize a movie for failing to engage with the root of the problem! I am a radfem and this is my job. I think we deserve to see more than hopeless suffering of women, I think a movie could be both representative of suffering, and engage with the cause of it. Can you imagine if a movie like this made a paralel with a woman whose body was never altered, who had no makeup, and was perfectly happy and unbothered? Can you imagine if we even got a saw unaltered woman's body in a movie? Can you remember ever seeing that? We have the right to demand it! We should be represented in more than suffering. Our body is more than a horror movie.
Did anyone watch the horror movie 'The Substance'? I've seen it because someone recommended it to me, and I saw one of the three directors was female, but now I just have few thousands words of criticism and upset about it. Click if you want to read it. Tw for themes of women abused in tv industry and the fear of aging out of their jobs.
So, the substance is about a woman aging out of her role in television where she runs a fitness program, and she is distraught to realize she's going to get replaced. Sadly she blames her own aging process about it! She gets in an accident, and then a male nurse gives her an usb showcasing 'the substance', a serum that makes a younger version of you come out of your body.
She takes it, and her body opens up to let out a younger version, a different acctress, come out and look at herself in the mirror. I was already upset by this point about the depiction of a woman losing her job for aging and hating herself, and not the industry and the males in it, but now I was in disbelief. It was funny that they wanted me to believe another woman exited from her back and didn't break her spine in the process, whatever, but now she was in a new body, and immediately went 'yas slay look how hot I am' Excuse me what?
I thought, at least one part of the horror would be feeling off and alien if forced to switch consciousness to another body, a body that is unfamiliar, that you didn't grow with, it would be traumatizing. No matter how much more 'socially likeable' a new body was, I can't imagine looking at my own hands and legs and having them look completely different, and being okay about it. It would cause a crisis in anyone, your identity would be in shambles. You couldn't get used to it, you'd have trouble looking at the mirror at all, and would forget it and constantly be reminded of it when seeing glimpses of your own hands, and it would shock and disturb you every time. How would you talk to your friends and family now? How would you deal with people you loved who couldn't recognize you? It would be mentally scarring.
If she had one single friend to talk about this, the entire premise would fall apart because it would become obvious that this is stupid and shouldn't be done.
Watching on it turned out they cut this woman out from any social context of her life. She had no friends, no family, not even any acquaintances. The only person who ever talked to her was one(1) single ex classmate, and other than that, she seemed to have zero people in her life who even knew she existed. But there's nobody like that. Yes, you can be socially isolated, but hardly to the point where nobody in the world knows you exist. If you go outside people memorize you. She didn't have anyone who knew her. She was supposed to be a popular figure on tv. But she didn't exist. This woman had no past, no existence in anyone's world, no connections to other people whatsoever. It made her less of a believable character to me. Nobody can exist completely out of social context of their life. We didn't get an explanation of why she has no family, or friends or acquaintances, or past loves, or anything like that. It was almost like she was now so irrelevant due to her age that the world just cut her out, which is scary but also ridiculous, she looked young!!
Another glaring flaw in the movie was that... the older woman in the movie was so clearly more attractive than the younger. They tried to shoot her face in harsh lightning and highlight whatever they thought was wrong with her body, but she just looked excellent under any kind of standards. What do you mean this teenager is 'hotter' than the original protagonist. She looks 17, she looks like she shouldn't be allowed outside after dark. The idea of her being filmed by older males gave me nausea, get that child away from them. I had to skip most of the scenes with her because it looked like child pornography. They had her wearing breast prostetics to make her look adult and put her in clothing no woman alive would find appealing or comfortable to wear, it was painful, uncomfortable and horrifying.
The entire existence of the younger woman was dehumanizing. She didn't eat. She didn't watch tv. She didn't do anything human. She was a male idea of a 'hot young girl', who only existed to look like what males think is appealing, dance on stage, and get male approval. That's it, we never see her exhausted, sad, commiserating how difficult it is to be around males who objectify you all day, we never see her complain about sexualizing and so obviously ignored sexual harassment she was put trough – the movie acted like sexual harassment didn't exist. Males around her appeared to only care about how much money she could make them and even though that was disgusting too, I don't believe for a second that a woman in that scenario doesn't get extensively sexually harassed. But the movie skipped over that. Like it just didn't matter. She doesn't have mental health issues because she's an attractive female child on television. She isn't human to them.
The younger woman had to switch bodies with her original counterpart weekly, and at first I found these little moments soothing, because the older woman was clearly showing signs of pain, hunger, exhaustion, irritation, depression. I thought 'oh, there's the humanity I was missing!' and was just happy to see her eat something. But then, to my horror, these little moments of humanity were ... demonized. The fact that she was eating was a flaw and a failure in the movie. She was depicted as addicted to food, jealous, bitter, angry and like giving in to any human urge for entertainment and rest was her 'wasting her life'. I was chilled by this notion, because I realized that's how males see female needs in real life. A waste.
Another thing I found upsetting was the amount of completely naked scenes the acctresses had to go trough, because I can't imagine anyone feeling okay and comfortable with being filmed like that. It felt invasive and uncomfortable for me to see. I knew it was done like this for male satisfaction, it wasn't catered to me. It disturbs me to think they felt comfortable looking at that. Female discomfort is a source of pleasure to them.
The movie progresses in the protagonist taking more and more time being in the younger body, resulting in the older body deterioration. She ends up feeling like she's two people, which is logical at least; you would feel like you're someone else if you're a different body, it at least displayed that little bit of 'you are your body' consequences. The male nurse who gave her the substance starts stalking her, and talking to her in public, and I found this part interesting. The male tried to get her to relate to him, said things like '7 days is long' and 'has she started eating at you already', and to me it became obvious that the male nurse knew exactly what this was going to do to her, and did it anyway. Because he felt lonely and wanted a female companion who also switches bodies. He picked her out and victimized her because he wanted company who also suffered and struggled with the same problem, he spread the misery for his own benefit. I thought we were going to look at that? I thought we would unpack that for a second? Male selfishness and bringing misery into female's life for their selfish purposes? But movie said no and we never see him again.
The younger version seems to forget she ever had any more age, and recklessly parties and does public events not caring that her counterpart is getting destroyed, until at the end, they both end up in some kind of monstrous shape, which okay, the extra teeth were fun, add extra teeth on women yes. But she is ultimately killed when appearing in on a social event looking like that. The ending just shows her dreaming about being famous and cheered on by the crowd, and it looks almost like the movie thinks her endless greed for glory and fame did this to her. Like this is her own fault, she destroyed the body she had in pursuit of eternal approval and gratification of a cheering crowd. I was looking at this like, who was this made for? Nothing about this clicks, is this for people obsessed with their own fame? Is this just a made up idea of what the world looks like for women who are trying to be famous? Because it wasn't clicking with any reality I was aware of.
We've listened to women going trough fame and popularity, and we know what these stories entail. First half of it is being introduced to it too young, forced into it by their parents or guardians, being overworked, missing on childhoods and schooling and family time, not getting enough sleep or rest, being pushed into substance abuse just to get trough the day. And then, endless sexualizing, endless situations where they're in the presence of predators and unprotected. The industry ruthlessly rejecting their personality and forcing them to mold into whatever the public wants, or the producer wants, having their identity crashing with the public opinion of them. Lack of privacy, lack of safety being outside, getting harassed and crowded on the street, not being allowed to live a normal life. Having body issues due to being forced to focus on how you look, because you're under constant scrutiny and now your job depends on how your body looks like, developing mental disorders due to lack of control over your life, and due to control you have to have over your every action. Having your opinions and wants dismissed because your word doesn't count in the industry when you're a woman, being forced to hide what people have done to you in private, often suffering sexual abuse and being forced to keep quiet if you want to keep your job. Breakdowns, suicidal thoughts, both fearing to lose relevancy and wanting out of the industry for your mental health, but it's all you've known and you don't know how to function otherwise. Getting jaded, realizing your own value drops with age, learning to despise everyone who took advantage of you and dropped you the second you weren't making them enough money. Being sick and tired of males talking down to you and dismissing your humanity. Not knowing where to turn for understanding and safety, because the charade has to keep on going in order for the industry to go on.
This is what I would expect a woman in the industry to have learned after being put trough all that, and instead the main character was so void of any backstory, any real experiences, any thoughts or criticism about it, any anger or bitterness about the abuse she'd have suffered in there, and was sorely upset about her lack of job security and that she was no longer looking like a commercial. She would have learned from this, that this is an inherently insecure job industry, it's not worth being in it, but she doesn't seem to learn this. She isn't even angry they hired someone else without telling her. All of her anger was directed towards herself. And the movie was not challenging it. It was saying 'yes, it is your own fault, both for aging, and for wanting not to age. Look what you did.'
And by the end of the movie, she was just the same as the beginning, still just longing for the fame and cheers. She is a character who is not allowed to learn from her experiences, in fact seems to have no experiences, even of the things that happened to her in the movie. She cared for nothing but male validation. She only seemed to care about the younger body for the sake of this validation. Even at the very end when she was killed by the same males who she gave everything to impress for, she wasn't mad at them. She just wanted more validation from them.
And I'm watching this thinking, this must be whats inside of a male brain. He did that because thats how he would act in this situation. Males are incapable of learning from experience, so they assume women are too. Males think that having a body of a young female in their posession would resolve all of their needs and desires, so they think for a woman that would work too, in fact that she would destroy herself to get there. The creepy male fantasy of what a woman would do. It was done to validate their dumb opinions.
One thing I was surprised with was the road not taken in this movie, because it had a lot of potential symbolism! The younger woman exiting the woman's body, was reminiscent of birth. When I noticed it's a different acctress, I thought maybe we were making a parallel of mothers and daughters. Because it's a thing that happens sometimes; women with daughters will look at the daughter and feel she is a prettier, younger version of themselves. It reminds them of their own potential when they were just children, before their lives got decided by marriage and male ownership. And when daughters start receiving male attention, due to the flock of predators always creeping by, mothers will sometimes forget that this is a child bonded and dependant on them, who is now in danger, and instead get jealous, and want that attention for themselves. They'll try to vicariously live trough their daughters, get themselves into the spotlight, or win attention of the males attracted to the child. It's a horrifying event each time, I was reminded by it while watching the movie, seeing how angry the woman was at the younger counterpart for partying, being on tv, being in the spotlight that was now unreachable for her. But the movie ignored this cruel reality as well.
The movie's conclusion is just 'this is somehow the woman's fault', while trying to be a movie about the pressure of the tv industry on women to not age. The pressure is real and experienced by all women, so the movie could have been about analyzing the source of it, showing us the other side of it, how dehumanizing and cruel the males are benefiting from this, how it makes absolutely no sense to cater to them or to care about what they think of female age and appearance. It could have been about male selfishness, greed, pedophilia and predatory nature, it could have pointed us in the horrifying direction of women sacrificing so much of their health and life only for males to have financial benefit and sexual gratification from it. It could have depicted how hard work of women is unappreciated and only rewarded with further abuse.
Instead it focused on pulling women inside out to make horror of their bodies, and depicted teenagers as the ultimate goals for anyone. I think that's where I experienced the most horror, seeing the younger version being dehumanized and depicted as a sexual dream, her every private action looking like a commercial, making her into a reduced non-human robot that only acts the way males think women should. And the woman who actually looked like an adult, was not allowed to learn, criticize, or long for anything except male validation, another fantasy that is as far removed from reality as possible.
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