#Sometimes I can be patient

[pastelaspirations]

W h a t

This is because I selected "slow burn romance" for my favorite genre, isn't it. Is it my fault if I am just weak in the knees for a slow burn romance with two people who have amazing chemistry and care about each other with all of their hearts-

First off. N o.

Guys. You don't understand. Patience, maybe with the exception of bravery, was the ONE SOUL TRAIT THAT I WAS SURE THAT I WOULDN'T HAVE.

I do n o t have patience, okay. I promise you, I am the type of person who will rock back and forth, barely keeping it together, making audible sounds of frustration, if my toast takes too long in the toaster. I am the person who seriously contemplates and worries that my life is just forever waiting for my laptop to update, solely because it's been on the same loading screen for 5 minutes. I need to physically have something else for me to do if I know I need to update a game. Otherwise, I w i l l feel my soul leave my body unless I can luck out and fast travel by dissociating with vivid daydreams.

Y e s. I have an over 300k word epic that I have been working on for what will be four years now. However, I am 95% sure that it is less that I'm "patient" and more "I have a crippling need to write in chronological order and have a borderline obsessive hyperfixation with my own story that won't leave my head."

So, no. No offense to the test maker, but I don't accept my test results. Cast in your votes now! Pastel's hidden soul trait is still up for debate! :D

Okay, um. @honeybubbletea33 I think your soul trait is. U m. This is harder than I thought. JUSTICE. Why??? Idk, to me, you seem to be very angy if injustice occurs-

@develation I think you're determination. I have no idea why. You are just a "keep going at it no matter the cost" type of mad lad to me

@paintedkinzy-88 I think... integrity??? You got your own set of morals that you follow and rarely deviate from :D

@inkclover Kindness. No question. If there was a "nicest smol cinnamonroll" contest, you'd have won already. Now, if you get something other than kindness, then WE KNOW SOMETHING IS UP WITH THIS TEST, OKAY-

Also, to any of my other mutuals who wanna try this. Please go ahead. If you got results you don't agree with, then you have m e-

Take this quiz, then tag a friend (or many) and say what you think they’ll get.

@b-r-a-i-n-v-o-m-i-t (Justice) @artyboidoesstuff (Kindness) @qhostpi22 (Bravery) @maurmondz38 (Perseverance) @klutzytomb (Perseverance) @moldieecheese (Kindness)

[marc--chilton]

how many former patients do you think think back to that weird, crude, insane doctor that finally got them the right diagnosis after being told "nothing's wrong" or "i don't know" and think of him fondly? people who were put under house's bizarre care and come out deciding he's good and kind even if his methods are strange. i think more than one might imagine

[pallastronomy]

looking for a new piece of xenofiction

ask the creator if their xenofiction is Watership Down or Warrior Cats

they don’t understand

pull out illustrated diagram explaining what is Watership Down and what is Warrior Cats

they laugh and say ‘It’s good xenofiction sir’

look inside

it’s Warrior Cats

[buwheal]

hey spamton! anything interesting happen recently?

[javierduffy]

sketchbook sillies

[pansyfemme]

felt peace with the uncertainty of the future today

[holdmymetaphor]

in like the second to last episode when taub was like why dont u respect wilsons wishes to die

house yells at him about how hard it has been to choose to live

and then we cut to other doctors and nurses and patients who hear him yelling this taboo thing, looking at him like hes weird and wrong and making a ruckus

ugh. houses reaction to it hurts me. its just such a clear reminder of how alone he feels/is.

[skunkes]

Nooooo that sad little smunkler has broken my heart! Wtf Talon stop being so mean to him for no reason!!! >:[

its okay, he just has bad days sometimes

[quins-makeshift-menagerie]

As most of you know I try my best to be civil and kind. I’m too exhausted and the world sucks too much for me to go about making other people feel like shit, it’s not really something I see worthy of my or anyone’s time really. I try to keep things positive not only because it might brighten someone else’s day but for my own sake. I curate this space because I know a lot of you feel and experience the same things I do. Do not twist this into me being delusional. I am fully aware the internet can be an unkind place, but that doesn’t mean my blog, my space, has to follow that example.

Be kind, be patient, and be respectful, not that the majority of you haven’t already been doing so. Asks are open again. Anonymous will be turned on again when I feel comfortable.

Apologies to those who used anon because they were nervous/anxious. I completely understand where you’re coming from and this is nothing against you. Regardless I do hope you stick around, and maybe one day work up the courage to be open with me. Or continue to keep your distance, I completely understand that too.

[tiafrye]

☕

[sunnyaliceart]

Hiiiii please tell me Cat's lore I love them already

Hi! Hello! Thank you for your patience for this response. I'm very glad you're interested in the AU and that you wanna know more about Cat, so let's talk about the feline friend...

Under the read more is talk and sketches relating to my No Deal AU

Cat is the kitty Sissel in the No Deal AU. He has white fur and blue eyes. He was gifted a blue bandana instead of a red one to match the blue rose of No Deal which is how I'll refer to the Yomiel of this AU.

In fact, Cat is the inspiration for No Deal's look in this AU.

After No Deal got his body back after living in Cat's body, he saw himself in the mirror and decided his red suit didn't cut it anymore.

The white fur of the cat that homed him felt like a blank slate. No Deal saw beauty in that as he lost everything and was a forgotten soul, a ghost. Why shouldn't he look the part? He traded his red suit for a white one and as he passed by a flower stall, he saw a blue rose. Drawn to it, reminding him of his own beauty as an unattainable spirit, he took it and added it to his outfit.

The little white cat still followed him around despite the man never looking back for the cat after he got his body back. After a while, No Deal decided that having a feline companion that he could possess at will could be useful for his traversal in the world. No Deal gave him a blue bandana so he could always recognize him.

While never cruel to him, No Deal is much less attached to Cat as Yomiel is with Sissel. No Deal finds Cat to be a useful asset when infiltrating certain areas, messing with people, and his revenge plan. He only takes the bare minimum care of Cat and yaps to him a lot like the monologuing villain he is.

Given that Cat was an orphan kitten that was ignored or brushed away before he found No Deal, he has nothing to compare to of what an actual loving bond looks like and enjoys being with No Deal up until his end.

Yomiel held Sissel with love and respect, valuing his friendship with him. He wanted to leave the country with his cat friend while No Deal saw it unfortunate that Cat was a casualty in his plan to put Lynne in prison, but ultimately moved on fairly quickly. His revenge plan went wel, all things considered. After all, those he wanted dead were killed or thrown in jail and his power had grown considerably. The world was a stage and its people his puppets.

It was only after death did Cat realize how little No Deal thought of him. While thankful for having someone care for him for 10 years, he was enraged by the disrespect. He was never even given a proper name!

Names No Deal used to address Cat:

Cat

Puppet

My Puppet

Stray

Kitty

Snowy

Doll

Little Ghost

Furball

Fuzzy

Fuzzball

Hairball

Phantom

Feline

Etc...

While angered at being abandoned, he didn't understand the concept of revenge and just wanted to fade away in peace, so he stayed away from No Deal in the Ghost World. That's why in the scenario where Post-Game Yomiel meets Cat, he's furious at the sight of Yomiel because it seems now he wants to talk to Cat only for Yomiel to call him a name he doesn't recognize. He knew this was a Yomiel that had someone he cared about and it wasn't Cat.

Cat is a sad tragedy and I deeply apologize for that. Like I mentioned in previous posts, No Deal is an awful man and his humanity died along with him.

I do take solace that Cat was never abused in life and was happy. He eventually found peace in the after life and even formed a friendship with Sissel thanks to Ghost World hijinks.

Feline Friends Forever!

[fictitious-symbiosis]

THE F/O CAFÉ IS OPEN!

Reblog this post with a pic and description of one of your F/Os, and I'll design a coffee for them!

Example:

Sports King's Coffee Order: Regular Cappuccino with Soy Milk and TOO MUCH Vanilla Syrup

Reason: Trying to remain hip by drinking coffee when his ass should be ordering a mocha. Compensates with an unhealthy amount of Vanilla Syrup. Also wants to be ~different~ so he goes for Soy Milk instead of Full Cream (Even though its like, the worst alternative (SORRY SOY DRINKERS I'M JUST BEING LIGHTHEARTED !!))

STATUS: ON BREAK!

(You may request, but it may be some time before I get to new ones. Additionally, it may take me some time to get to the requests that have already been put through. I apologise for the wait but thank you for your patience).

(We serve anyone and everyone here! No DNI!)

[stevetwisp]

still not over the fact ive spent the last couple of years becoming so lethargic and depressed it's become nearly impossible to motivate myself to do anything, including eating- despite this i make a point of going outside everyday bc my body struggles with processing certain vitamins

well yesterday i found out my body has not been processing vitamin d for who knows how long, which is causing my lethargy and lack of appetite and depression, and i am starting a treatment that involves being given a 50x the regular amount dose to get my body back in balance

im both excited and feel so vindicated i knew something was going wrong and im so glad to finally get some treatment

here's hoping i can finally become a functioning human being

[napping-sapphic]

hehe~~ i am soooooo sleepy and tired right now :3 i’m all cuddled up in all my blankets🥰 so warm and comfy hehe…..oh and also my past is haunting me😐

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Provider Discretion (LU in Healthcare)

(Lots of technical jargon in this one, lovelies, hope you don’t mind)

Something wasn’t right.

The patient herself was… okay. Mostly. She had called 911 because she’d had back pain that had just been getting worse, and she’d said she couldn’t even get around anymore.

Mo and Hyrule often exchanged a somewhat exasperated look when someone called an emergency line for something that had been an ongoing problem, but today this… was different. She just didn’t look well.

“I’m really sorry,” the patient apologized for the fourth time as Hyrule and Mo loaded the stretcher into the ambulance.

“It’s okay,” Hyrule quickly reassured her. His heart ached a little at how much this woman wanted to seem to shrink into oblivion. Even Mo, who, despite his big heart, often came across a little standoffish, had tried to make her smile multiple times. “This is what we’re here for.”

With a chief complaint of back pain, there wasn’t much to do outside of check vital signs. Mo could easily take this call. But Hyrule just… this felt wrong.

“Let’s get a 12-lead,” he said, already grabbing the cables for it while Mo got vitals. His partner didn’t argue, helping him place the leads in the right positions.

Vitals looked mostly fine. The patient’s blood pressure was high. She said she had a history of hypertension, so perhaps between that and her pain that would explain it. Though 180/98 did not make Hyrule particularly happy. But he couldn’t treat that.

The 12-lead showed normal sinus rhythm. Nothing wrong there. But something just didn’t feel right.

Grabbing the blood pressure cuff, Hyrule checked it again, but on the opposite side.

There was a discrepancy.

Hyrule and Mo looked at each other, eyebrows pinching. Mo took a manual on the left. Hyrule took a manual on the right.

They still didn’t match.

Feeling dread fill him, Hyrule told Mo, “I’m taking this call. Let’s get going. We don’t need lights but… just drive expediently, ok?”

The transport was blessedly uneventful. But the discrepancy remained. Her blood pressure was high, but higher on one side than the other. Coupling that with back pain…

Her aorta. Hyrule was worried about her aorta. The biggest artery in this woman’s entire body could getting ready to tear apart.

When Hyrule texted Warriors later, he got his answer.

Dissection. They rushed her to the OR. You pointing out the BP difference really tipped off the doc. Good catch.

Mo whistled. “Good thing she didn’t rupture in our truck.”

Hyrule blew out a breath. He was just thankful he trusted his gut.

XXX

The dispatch information had been for diabetic emergency. Fire had gotten there first, which Aurora was thankful for since she and Dawn were coming from the hospital and therefore farther away than if they’d responded from the station.

When they arrived, the house was a nightmare. The street was so narrow that the ambulance and fire truck blocked the road entirely, the stairs were so narrow Aurora felt like she had to squeeze her arms in just to climb up them, and the turns were so sharp she wasn’t sure how any kind of equipment could get up there. The patient was lying on his bed, altered, and unable to move.

According to the patient’s friend, he’d heard him fall and came up to check on him. He knew he was a diabetic and figured his blood glucose had to be low. Fire had already checked it, saying it was over two hundred. As the firefighter paramedic gave information to Aurora, he said, “He could be acting like this because of his sugar. Could be a stroke. We’re not sure.”

Honestly, Aurora couldn’t see the patient all that well from her vantage point. Dawn had already walked in and started assessing, they’d handed a reeves stretcher to the firemen, and they were working on loading him on to it. The girl went downstairs to prep the stretcher for their arrival. Once they managed to get the patient into the ambulance, Aurora stared.

This man’s entire right side of his face was noticeably drooping. He was moving his head a little to the left, eyes somewhat moving, pupils equal. Aurora quickly asked him to look at her, to follow her finger. While he could stare at her, he couldn’t track at all, and his eyes wouldn’t move to the right. He blinked once while attempting, and was only able to blink his left eye.

Who the hell thought this could be his sugar??

Once Dawn got in the truck, they were quick to get vitals and a 12-lead. He was hypertensive, all other vitals fine.

“We need to stroke alert this,” Aurora immediately said.

“But he was last seen normal three hours ago,” Dawn said uncertainly. “Isn’t that outside the window? Or is the window four hours now?”

“I think it’s four,” Aurora answered. “And it doesn’t matter either way. This is absolutely a neuro issue. Drive us hot, okay?”

Dawn nodded, heading to the front. She drove to the hospital with the lights and sirens on, allowing them a faster transport time, while Aurora called it in to the hospital. As they progressed, she tried to get the patient to follow commands, but he couldn’t. He held up his right arm but couldn’t hold his left up at all, and he still didn’t really track any movement.

When they arrived at the hospital, they were placed in a major room, transferring him quickly to the hospital bed. Warriors was charge that night, working on coordinating all the help they’d need for this patient. The ED physician entered, looking the patient over, and then turned to Aurora, asking, “So what makes you think he’s having a stroke?”

Aurora stopped in mid motion, looking at him with the most enraged and bewildered expression. “I’m sorry, what?”

“Why do you think he’s having a stroke?” The doctor repeated.

“What makes you think he isn’t?!” Aurora snapped, completely mind blown that this was even a debate. “His face is drooping so low it’s hitting the earth’s fucking crust, he’s altered, not tracking movement, blinking with one eye, down on one side, is hypertensive, and you’re asking why I—do you even know what a stroke is??”

“Let’s just alert it,” Warriors said calmly as he walked into the room, clearly sensing that the paramedic was about to explode. “It’ll get us a CT to rule it out.”

Aurora was fuming, and she stormed out before she could hear a response. Dawn tried to gently check on her, only to be subjected to her ranting for the next hour.

Later, Warriors texted Hyrule, who relayed the message. “You were right.”

“OF FUCKING COURSE I WAS!”

XXX

Legend wasn’t particularly a fan of working triage.

There were aspects of it that were exciting - he was the one to make first contact with patients who didn’t come in via ambulance, and he determined their acuity. But there was also a public relations aspect to it, a patience dealing with impatient people, a kindness and sympathy for those who were genuinely hurting or needing help but had to wait anyway. It was understandable, but public relations… was not Legend’s forte.

There was a reason he was put in triage, though.

It wasn’t always obvious, what was wrong with someone. But there were times when a patient just didn’t look right. Legend saw the man limp over, listened to him as he explained that he had some leg pain that had been going on for the last few days, how he thought maybe he’d strained a muscle but the pain hadn’t improved.

There were always signs to look out for. Little things, cues that something was off. The man looked resigned, reluctant; he clearly had been talked in to coming to the hospital, and he commented that his wife insisted on it. Legend saw the clothes he wore, heard the accent he spoke with, saw his muscles, and pieced together that he was probably a farmer.

Farmers never came to the hospital.

“We’ll get you back as soon as we can,” he finally said after completing his assessment. Usually, this patient would be low on the acuity scale—a muscle spasm or strain was not nearly as important as a heart attack, pneumonia, sepsis, strokes, traumas—but Legend made him a yellow rather than a green. Just to be sure.

That higher acuity score got him a room far faster. That faster room made a doctor assess him and notice that his left leg was bigger than his right. That doctor made sure he got an ultrasound of his leg, found clots in his leg. She also learned the man was short of breath sometimes, which his wife insisted was new, and got a CT scan.

Legend glanced at his chart later to see him being admitted. Confused and curious, he did some digging.

The man had a pulmonary embolism.

Huffing with a small smile of satisfaction, Legend closed out of the chart as another patient approached.

XXX

Time had to admit, he did not spend as much time assessing his patients as he should. His hours were stolen away in the OR, unpredictable and chaotic as his line of work was. So sometimes he didn’t get to round, sometimes he didn’t have a chance to walk in and chat with the patients and the nurses and the licensed independent providers who took charge of their care.

Today he was glad he did.

The patient was actually calm and pleasant, had little complaint of anything except for some lower back pain. In the world of uncomfortable hospital beds, it wasn’t a huge surprise.

But Time saw something. Some staining, bruising, around the patient’s groin. He peeked around their gown, turned them a little, and saw it.

Their groin was purple. He asked the nurse, who said they were told this had been baseline for a day or two, and that the independent providers over them had acknowledged the finding and moved on.

Time walked into the doc box where the providers were. “I want a CT abdomen for room 3. She’s got some bruising that’s concerning. Her H&H has been down trending steadily.”

“Her JP drains haven’t put out much,” the physician assistant noted, looking over the patient’s chart.

“She might have a retroperitoneal bleed,” Time pointed out. “Let’s just be sure.”

Years of education and even more years of experience had taught the trauma surgeon well. The war was especially humbling and educational. So when he got a text from the PA that the patient did indeed have a retroperitoneal, he wasn’t surprised. But he was disappointed that he had to be the one to notice it.

Sometimes, he supposed, it took the leader to point out the problem.

XXX

Four… didn’t like this.

Report had been bad enough. The day shift nurse spoke of how the patient had been previously septic and was recuperating well before her pressor demand had gone up during the day. She looked… not great. She was so edematous they were constantly changing the sheets underneath her arms because her body was leaking fluid from every inch of itself - they had dumped fluids into her over the last few days just to maintain her blood pressure. She was on a lasix drip to get her lot o pee off the fluid as best as possible, and her kidney function was… decent, but not great.

As Four assessed her, the clenching his chest only worsened. She was alert, oriented, a little miserable but trying to be in good spirits, bless her. She was peeing a decent amount, her pulses were present despite the swelling, her lung sounds were a little coarse but overall mostly clear. Her abdomen was soft and non-tender, her pupils were equal and reactive, and she didn’t have much complaint of pain aside from being sick of laying in bed, which Four could understand.

But still. This just… didn’t look great.

As the night progressed, the woman’s pressor need climbed. Four continued to increase epinephrine, increase norepinephrine. He tried not to increase the vasopressin too much as it had such a profound effect on vasoconstriction that it could cause necrosis. Also, the woman had a history of heart failure and had a pretty weak heart.

Four eventually went to the resident in charge of the patient for the night. “Hey. Can we maybe give 11 some albumin? She has plenty of fluid to give, but clearly it isn’t in her vasculature - she’s peeing ok but her pressure isn’t tolerating it. I feel like it could help.”

The resident shuffled on his feet uncertainly. “The surgeon really wants to make sure we can get this fluid off. I’d rather keep her negative and not give her more fluid, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that,” Four greed before continuing, “But albumin is only 250mL, and if it helps suck in the fluid that’s third spacing, it’ll still help. We’re dumping fluid in her through the pressors anyway.”

The resident continued to waffle, before the night attending asked, “She’s on vaso, right?”

“Yes.”

“Just go up on that.”

Four stared a moment longer, starting to doubt himself. He hadn’t been a nurse for long, and if an attending physician was saying this, then… it had to be true, right?

Sighing, he went back to the room and did as he was told. The patient’s blood pressure improved well enough, and the night progressed fine.

The next night was not as fine. At rounds, Four suggested that perhaps she should be lined for CRRT, a continuous dialysis that would allow for Four to control how much fluid they were pulling and would likely be better for the patient to tolerate. The night doctors shrugged, saying they’d mention it to the day team.

Again, the woman’s blood pressure was tanking. Again, Four had to increase pressors. Vaso had been turned down and was told to be left alone because the woman’s systemic vascular resistance was so high the attending was worried about her heart. (Four couldn’t help but feel a little bitter about it, because he knew that was going to happen)

This time, though, she went into atrial fibrillation as well. As Four called the resident and attending into the room, they deliberated the matter, muttering, “Maybe we should line her for CRRT.”

Four blinked. Stared. Was he… losing his mind?? Was he invisible? He’d suggested this earlier!

Ultimately, Four had managed to keep the patient stable enough so that it wasn’t needed. Ultimately, the shift ended uneventfully.

But when Four came back for his third night, he could hear the woman’s breathing from the door, he could hear how she was drowning in fluid because she couldn’t tolerate losing fluid but had too much for her lungs and heart to handle. The day team had lined her for CRRT, but her pressors were almost maxed out at their dosage, and she was so hypotensive that the renal nurse who had set up the machine was hesitant to start it up, saying it would further bottom out her pressure.

Tonight was different, though. Tonight, the provider in charge of making decisions and orders was a nurse practitioner, someone who was used to this unit. She walked in, saw the issues Four had seen, and she walked right back out, making a call.

Four struggled to keep the patient alive long enough for the ECMO team to arrive as the patient fell apart. He felt frustration boil his blood as he had to hand off her care after fighting for her, had to watch as the CV ICU nurse came in to take over while surgeons put large cannulas into the patient’s body to redirect blood flow around her heart so she could still perfuse her organs. He watched as they wheeled her out of the trauma ICU to go to the cardiac ICU where she would remain while on such extreme support, and he threw his pen on the desk, burying his face in his hands, fuming.

They should have listened to him.

[ceo-mochee]

Hppy 9th anniversary to MCSM!!! I don't rlly got much rn so uhhhh

GO MY TNT MANIAC THAT I'M SO UNHEALTHYLY OBSESSED WITH 💥💥💥💥💥💥

(Made him for an art collab hehe)

Plus some other old (Lukxel) sketches I've been hiding too, all from a fanfic I'm currently fighting myself to finish LOOLLL