#Something I need to improve on too
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Remember: The burning sensation is part of the process.
#Mouthwashing#blood#body horror#Emphasizing here that this is in reference to a media and character and not a cry for help on my end.#Mouthwashing is one of those games that tickles my brain and checks all the boxes for my niche interests -#-but it wasn't something that got the silly comic part in my cortex firing up. My analysis brain is eating well though!#What said...It is impossible for me to see this scene and not say out loud: “Me in the middle of my work day".#While there is a lot more going on with curly I personally resonated a lot with his struggles with burnout.#Burnout feels like mouthwash to me. That you keep rinsing out your mouth trying to get rid of the rotting smell#but it's just surface level solutions. The real cure requires something far more significant to actually make a difference.#The job 'is hard' and 'everyone struggles'. It's part of the process right? You're tired? Anxious? Depressed? Us too! Chin up!#Actually I resonated with a lot of things within Curly (this is a curly positive space - he's not perfect. He's just human).#One thing being his desire to see the good in people and believe in their potential.#Because here's the thing. Some people truly do just need someone in their corner who stands by them so they can grow and improve.#And some people will take advantage of your kindness. You focus so much on their humanity while you stop being a person to them.#The horrifically toxic relationship persists because Curly tries to see the bigger picture and believes in the good within.#Anyone who has lived through constantly trying to reframe the hurt as something else knows-#-just how many excuses your brain will make to avoid cognitive dissonance. It's human psychology.#Jimmy sucks so bad. But we the audience have the privilege of not having years of baggage associating him in our minds as 'friend'.
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Inktober Day 25 - Alpha Gaming
Today I thought I'd go ahead and hunt down that new hedgehog game everyone’s so excited about, since I had a target giftcard and it's been a hot sec since I played one of these - was fully planning to hop on that cool winged shadow trend for the inktober to commemorate my success, but that changed 15 seconds into the first stage when I remembered I actually suck shit at sonic games 👍
#inktober#inktober2024#my art#doodles#shadow#shadow the hedgehog#sonic#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#my experience can best be summarized by the first 30 seconds of playing the game#where I used chaos control for the first time and Immediately shot off the side of the stage and died#I have despite all odds gotten past the first boss#but I am well acquainted by this point with the entirety of kirk thorton's professional dying discography#shadow I think you're very cool and I'm very sorry that I'm going to make you look like an Utter fool for the entire run of the game#in fairness his stages seem way easier than the single sonic one I tried hA#i just can't fucking see where sonic is half the time in the 2d sections#maybe I need to get my eyes checked or something idk#the hogs are just moving too fast for me smh#it is nice to play one of these again though it has been a While#for reference the one and only other sonic game I played was unleashed lol#back in uhhhh#2008????#god#well glad to know my gaming hasn't improved much since then lmao
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I think that Orym actually does doubt Imogen, but this isn't a thing that is unique to Imogen. Orym doubts all of them to an extent, because paranoia is something he struggles with (and this is continuously reinforced by the story).
It's not a 'good' thing that he should never get over, nor is it an immoral character flaw that proves he actually hates Imogen. However it's also not something I think he can get over as long as the threat of having to possibly fight his friends exists.
"I have all the faith in the world in you guys, all of you. And I have also spent time thinking how to neutralize each of you."
#cr discourse#critical role#cr3#orym#text post#people talk about orym being hypervigilant and then deny his behaviour created out of that hypervigilance#but also see people being weird about orym due to this. you can dislike him all you want but some people are doing too much#“he hates imogen! she has given him no reason to doubt her! she is good” guys its literally just paranoia#he doesn't need a reason to doubt her nor any of them. he just does due to their uncertainty about everything#this group is impulsive. shown by their 'we are an improv group' response to the question 'whats your plan to stop the end of the world'#this is all in line with oryms usual level of slightly paranoid behaviour which is exasperated and justified by the story#he followed fearne away from camp when she wanted to do something on her own but then she was jumped and nearly killed#that paranoia was proven correct#again the next night when he slept with a sword on his back after fearnes dad threatened to come back and attack her friends#and he was attacked in his sleep (by laudna but at the time he didnt know that)#then imogen told the whole group that she and laudna considered giving into the darkness together#something that both ladies then expressed they wanted orym to take them out if they went too far#this is just a result of all of this#so i think this is a non-issue. if you like it great. if you dont then whatever#just this time it rubbed people the wrong way because of irl hang ups of people valuing their own personal privacy#the same way any kind of mind stuff 'modify memory' or psychic reading of minds without permission rubs me personally the wrong way
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I've been working on a pretty long comic (~20 pages) for Robin for a few days now, and after drawing the same page for the 7th time, I realized one thing:
My drawing skills have deteriorated
This is bad, very bad, for me at least. I suspect it's because, first, I've been too stressed for some time now and second, I've been focused on fast drawing (to answer ask, just sketches to capture ideas,...) for the past months without actually honing my color and render skill.
So here's the plan: I'm sorry to say this but I need to take a break from drawing fast. And by that, I mean actually stopping myself from wanting to answer every asks with a drawing :) I swear it has become a habit, my ask box is full of short-content temptations. I may not be able to post daily anymore for some time, but I hope every time I do, I can bring up something I can look back and be proud of.
This is something do to with an artist's self-esteem. I want to create something with more skill for the next months, and then after that or some time between, if I need to take some light and carefree break, I will switch back to fast sketches :D
Of course, I will still draw DoL. I love this game and my PCs. So if that's okay with you, hope you can stay and watch me grow a little more. I'm grateful for everyone's encouragement and I will never stop feeling that way.
Thanks for reading~ I should take my much-needed rest now UwU
#dol pc#dollya art#robin the orphan#dol robin#dol#degrees of lewdity#I guess this is a very deep slump and I'm trying to get through with it as best as I can#I just need time#peer pressure is something too horrible for me too#and yet it is what it is#better improve myself if I don't want to be throw out#Lya the Blossom
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fairest of the fair
#hi! im alive and back and etc.#six the musical#six the musical fanart#katherine howard#thinking of that post going 'i think eventually you become the person you needed most' and like maybe that's the thing with my art#this started out as a redraw and <improvement meme> i think i've finally reached the stage where i'm making the things that my younger self#aspired to create. like i can do this now! i've reached That level of technical skill! tiny me would be so proud. it's very gratifying#redraw from august this year actually. i've made a surprising amount of improvement HAHA maybe it was the adamandi stuff getting me#back into digital rendering. i think that obsession has quietly slipped away but yknow. one never truly leaves a fandom. just less intensit#also speaking of old fandoms! we're back with the six stuff haha. as of writing i'm in the midst of blog revamp- figuring out how to chill#multifandom status doesn't mean ditch all the old stuff ! but i do feel much freer and less stressed. i think hiatus has been good for me#notes on this piece particularly: redraw about cutting hair and thinking of the lyric above. also lowkey &j ref + pinterest poem excerpts#of female suffering. and maybe a dash of amanda heng let's walk inspo. this work is really just full of contradictions..#1. the mirror and cutting hair as an act of self liberation 2. the & is part of the lyric but also a nod to &j (in another iteration it was#pink but the white looked better) and like. &j is really all !!! girl power!!! etc. and i was like hmmmm. also matching pink shiny aes#3. the frame as a cage; the mirror as a self reflection idea (ie. saville's propped insp) but also as a sign of vanity. 4. sparkly costume#and pretty pose- read one too many poems about women feeling like they have to be pretty even in their suffering. something i wanted to#explore. and also in 5. the show itself... all you wanna do is. despite all the dancing and pink and sparkly the content of the song is#darker. and even though it's a story of her suffering it's still presented as a shiny fun pop song and ajshdhfhfh ok... 6. the lyrics fall#outside the frame. sort of a caught inbetween. sort of a trapped in the narrative and yet#within the frame it's all. vaguely handwavy breaking free vibes. like i said contradictions?#7. cutting off the long ponytail vs the pull my hair lyric at the end. yeah#8. the blocked off & looks a bit like scissors. positioned to cut right at the neck#anyways yeah irl remains hectic! but if i get around to more doodles they'll appear here :)
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Inspired by this fanfic
I really like this story 👍👍👍🥰 I love Senti angst and this made my heart happy.
#tfa sentinel prime#hes holding the magnus hammer on god i swear. i just had to keep cropping because the composition looked off#i tried really hard#truly. with my whole heart#i wanted to draw something to show to the author(s) how much the story means#im not a wordsmith and this is all i have lolololol#macaddam#transformers animated#my art will improve and i will try again i promise#guys you see the spider? see how the shadow only darkens in the light? thats cuz its a shadow!!! you know like in the story [spoilers]#i need to walk away before i get too excited and spoil the entire story in the tags
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please can we have more jimmy and impulse.
collabs, streams, heck even a life series team
i just really really want to call them jimpulse
#fdgnjmg#please#i need the punnage in my life#i also think.. jimmys quite similar to skizz?#(so they'd probably get along sorry forgot to finish that thought)#but at the same time#his humour is different#so when hes with people who hes newer to it seems almost like he's..#i dont want to say trying too hard but his humour sometimes doesn't have a place with them? or doesn't hit as well? or something?#and impulse can be like that too sometimes?#cause hes always trying to get better at improv-ing interactions#and hes always changing stuff to improve be it tech or editing#so i think...#idk they both put a lot of effort in and sometimes depending on what group they're in it isn't fully appreciated?#that got a little bit analyzy#tldr: i like them and think they need to work together more often#jimmy solidarity#impulsesv#jimpulse#<leaving it right there#its a good pun#guess the build#build and seek#life series#pixls things
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#gotta genuinely and for real start trying to improve my clothed fullbodies this yr.#gotta bring al back out too ill die if i have to only draw dis plank [said lovingly]#a doodley#i have to grapple with like Just Bc Something Is Covered By Clothes Doesn't Mean it Doesn't Exist Under Em#and fully map out character clothing prefs instead of painting clothes on bodiessss 😞 pain!#i think talon wld wear a variety of tops and layers (bc he's always cold) but he obvs needs looooose or baggyyy pantsss
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A builder who totally understands where X is coming from, collecting all those shinies for Coco, because she also likes shiny things, and has been secretly leaving pretty rocks on Unsuur's porch for weeks now.
#my time#my time at sandrock#sandrock#X#X and Fang#Unsuur#Builder#each of my builders I HC to be a little bit different#Rave loves dancing and is a total extravert - she may be book smart; but doesn't tend to act like it#Zurika likes shiny things and wants to fight. She's not angry; she just really wants to fight.#Sparring; monster fighting; whatever lets her improve those skills.#Rave learned to fight because it became important to know how in Sandrock.#She enjoys sparring now; and takes pride in the skill; but it didn't start that way for Rave.#Zurika learned how to fight because her parents weren't there to stop her anymore#Zurika is a good sport; just as happy to lose a fight as to win one; as long as she can learn something from it#Rave likes relics and books. Zurika likes sparklies and daggers.#Zurika and Rave both like parkour though. Parkour; and Going Fast 🏃♀️🏃♀️#Zurika is plenty smart too - she just doesn't like books that much. She likes listening to stories or lectures; or watching old videos.#Rave has books and diagrams to look back on as needed; and does write some notes. Zurika just Remembers. Everything.#Sidenote; I really like X.#X is awesome 👌 Solid bro; silly little guy; I love the bird. Take some glass; my man. Have a scorpion on the house.#Love his cute relationship with Coco. 'X is on a date' is one of my favorite dialog options of all time. It sent me to outer space.#Unsuur caught me off guard with paint drying. I hadn't really noticed him much before that;#but that was the moment I realized he was gonna be a favorite of mine#Unsuur is the funniest guy in Sandrock; hands down. You just gotta give him a chance; you wouldn't expect it off first impressions.#Ily my dude; keep it weird#I will also be keeping it weird.#mtas#fandom#rambles
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Work - Coming May 31
#ateez#atz#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho#ateezedit#*gfx#something that i made for fun#i know it could be better but my skills need improvement 😅#sometimes i'm way too ambitious#i wanted to make something too for the other songs in the tracklist but my brain is all mushed#so yeah
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No go on please (Patreon)
#Doodles#Pokemon#Larry#Kabu#Firebland#Silverstreakshipping#Can't listen - the cuteness must be observed with 100% focus#Only does this like a dozen times before getting himself under Slightly better control lol#Kabu's the cutes who can blame him for being a bit smitten every once in a while#I'm decently pleased with how he turned out here as well :) Both of them really!#Finally starting to get a handle on Kabu's shirt#Details details details#Oh and an offhand of calling Larry as Aoki instead just to see how I feel about it - he suits both! I like Kabu's choice of honourific hehe#Both of theirs! The way it reflects their ages and how they feel about each other ♪ Expectations and respect and ahh#It's nice#What is Kabu talking about? Training? Obviously something Larry only kind of cares about or else he'd be actively listening lol#Has his own subjects that get him fired up! Just not this one lol more fun to just watch him <3#It's fun because Kabu's having fun ♪#It's only fair! Kabu listens to him talk excitedly about the things he likes - share that stage and enjoy the enthusiasm#Passion can be very enticing hehe#Sighed just a little too wistfully - sounded like boredom but no! Enjoying himself in a way Kabu didn't quite intend lol#Followup questions are very important just too distracted haha#Just needs more practice is all hehe surely he'll improve if he keeps at it he's a great study#Kabu's tutelage would deliver impressive results for sure! Hehe#Gotta learn how to spoil him properly ♪
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I need more people to understand the complexities and the character potential of Spinel being the weirdass losergirl failure that she truly is. Hiding amidst all her cutesy charms. No really I’m serious
#This gem is AWKWARD and SUCKS AT COMMUNICATING#which is so sadly funny considering she’s built to be a best friend#She can be a badass villain that redeems herself and sucks at trying to adjust to a normal life#but she is TRYING…#She’ll succeed at some point rn she just needs to improve at her social skills#Ohh and her now adjusting to a new family where she’s perceived as someone else’s treasure can mean something too#trying to find herself amidst all this#listen I think about her a lot okay#birb does rambling
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feel like my art has been fundamentally busted lately and not sure how to go about fixing it
#Something’s off!! I’m missing some skill set but I don’t know how to retrace my steps to improve again!#maybe I need to reread the tf2 comics maybe that will fix me#text posts :0]#kicks a rock. And right before art fight too.
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Falin Touden - Dungeon Meshi!
I got permission to use the orignal art from gyoGUTS on Etsy
#Dungeon Meshi#delicious in dungeon#perler#perler beads#Falin Touden#every now and then I'll go to make something and get 90% of the way through#then realise i have no good options to use for a certain colour and just have to make do with it looking kind of off xD#This time it was the shading on the hair but looking at the picture of the finished piece I think it turned out fine :D#This time I remembered to flip it before ironing so I melted the correct side xD#Though I still need to work on the beads blowing out from ironing certain spots too much#I caught them early enough this time that they're not too bad though so I'll take that as improvement :D
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sometimes i forget that i started this blog to be about philosophy. anyway i've already told all my group chats so here's one for the blog: just got off a video call w the admissions director at my tied-for-first-choice university and i cannot tell if he thinks i have a shot or if im too much of a loser for their very cool program.
he did give me the very good advice to email faculty i want to work with to introduce myself and get to know them and their work, so maybe that's indicative of . good rapport idk
off to write emails and hope professors deign to respond. please i want to keep doing epistemology. what does it matter
#blah blah blah#academia#the joke of the day is consider my nerves WRACKED#ive applied to 4 schools i should apply to more before the window closes in 3 weeks#i fuckin knew this would happen too that id start looking at schools and then not finish the apps until the day before#wish me luck nyall#is this where my academic journey ends? we will find out when they mail out decisions between feburary and april#and if not a phd then i need to invest in a career shift bc while i like my job. i want to be doing something more meaningful#insert line about how everything is meaningful everything matters. thesisposting etc. but what if i want to do something MORE impactful#than renting trumpets to middle schoolers and their families#im pretty sure that my undergrad gpa is going to like. be an automatic disqualification for all the programs#idk if any of you remember 6 years ago but i was Not doing well in undergrad#so im banking on a 'most improved' award when they see my graduate transcript is more than a whole point better#pwease trust me to do even better in the future mistew phd pwogwam pwease bewieve me#<tags that are the reason i do not attach my name face or work to this blog in case i am Located.#<also tags that are very clearly identifiable as mine own. paradoxical choice
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Figured i'd start actually. slowly reintroducing the new monster au turned oc project by first posting the new character names!
Mark -> Markus Adrianne Addams (Mark/Chris) Cesar -> Martin Garcia Sarah -> Amber Addams (Ace) Thatcher -> Jackson Hyde (Jack) Ruth -> Mabel Palmer Dave -> Barney Holmes Evelin -> Olivia Davis (Liv) Jonah -> Aaron Jones (AJ)
Another thing I wanted to introduce, this universe from now on will be referred to as Whispers of Willows!
#ramblings :)#Whispers of Willows#And uh. guess i'll. establish the character tags too. here we go#Shadow Mark#Mark Addams (WW)#(tagging both versions of his tag cause. yeag)#Martin Garcia (WW)#Amber Addams (WW)#Jackson Hyde (WW)#Mabel Palmer (WW)#Barney Holmes (WW)#Olivia Davis (WW)#Aaron Jones (WW)#Do i NEED to add the (WW) at the end of these tags? probably not but hey organization is neat#I dunno what to make the abbreviation considering. the options are taken. WOW means world of war craft and WW stands for wind waker so LIKE#but yeah. silly.#I already did like. a HUGE rehaul for the characters and storyline and honestly I think its an improvement.#I'll post the refs when i'm done with a good chunk of them!#also. in case you're wondering. we did lose someone.#Adam is NOT coming back in this. mainly due to 1. me wanting to make the adam stand ins for OTHER projects more unique#but also because. his storyline could be easily seen in MARKS storyline.#so putting Adam's story parts into Mark's storyline would be. better than just repeating it twice.#This effects Olivia's story of course but. i'll figure something out.#but yeah!! i'm happy with the progress made on this so far!!!!
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