#Some of this stuff is just damn impressive
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fb!chris meeting dealer!reader for the first time . | ( female!reader ) wc 0.7k ( library ) + ( request )
꒰ა " you got me high, you got me high, and i ain't coming down . " ໒꒱
the bass thumps so loud you can feel it in your chest, rattling your ribcage like a warning. the frat house reeks of stale beer, weed, and cheap cologne, the air thick with sweat and bad decisions. you weave through the crowd, the thin material of your top brushing against sticky red solo cups and the occasional wandering hand. you don’t stop, don’t even look back, just give them a sharp elbow or a glare over your shoulder. they get the message — you’re here on business, not pleasure.
chris notices you the second you walk in.
he’s leaned up against the kitchen counter, beer bottle dangling from his fingers, looking like sin in a backwards cap and a hoodie. he’s laughing at something nate said, the sound low and careless, like he owns the world and everything in it. and maybe he does. at least, this world—the frat house, the party, the girls who keep brushing against him, pretending it’s an accident.
but then his eyes land on you, and the smirk slips just a little.
you don’t notice him at first. or maybe you do, but you don’t care. you’re too busy scanning the room, looking for your buyer, the weight of the little baggies in your pocket pressing against your thigh. it’s not until you hear his voice, lazy and dripping with confidence, that you turn around.
"yo, yeah— you. y'gonna sell me sum stuff or nah?"
he’s closer now, standing right in front of you, and you have to tilt your chin up slightly to meet his gaze. his usually icy blue eyes are dark, hooded, like he’s already bored with whatever game he’s about to start.
you raise an eyebrow, crossing your arms over your chest. “depends. you got cash, or are you just here to waste my time?”
his smirk returns, sharper now, like he wasn’t expecting you to bite back. most girls don’t. “damn. y’got some bite, huh?” he steps closer, crowding into your space, testing the waters. you don’t move, don’t flinch, just hold his gaze with a steady calm that throws him off. “i don’t bite unless i’m paid extra.”
he huffs a laugh, low and rough, taking a slow sip of his beer while his eyes rake over you. “yeah, a'ight. let’s see what you got.”
you don’t break eye contact as you pull a small baggie out of your jacket pocket, holding it up between two manicured fingers. the overhead light catches on the powder, making it shimmer like something expensive.
he leans in, close enough that you can smell the beer and weed on his breath, the faint trace of something minty. “this the good shit, or you tryna scam me?” you tilt your head, a challenge sparking in your eyes. “best around. can y'handle it?”
his jaw tightens, just for a second, before the smirk’s back in full force. “y'cold, ain't ya?" he mutters, shaking his head like he’s impressed. you shrug, slipping the baggie back into your pocket.
for a moment, he just stares at you, something unreadable flickering in his eyes. then he steps back, pulling his wallet out of his back pocket. “how much?”
you name your price, and he doesn’t even blink, just tosses a couple of bills onto the counter like it’s nothing. you hand over the baggie, your fingers brushing for half a second before you pull away. “pleasure doin’ business,” you say, already turning to leave.
but his voice stops you, cutting through the haze of music and voices like a blade. “what’s your name?” he calls out. you glance over your shoulder, one eyebrow raised. “why? planning on writing me a love letter?”
he laughs, the sound warmer than it should be, and for a second, you almost believe it’s real. “nah. just wanna know who i’m gonna be thinkin’ 'bout later.” you roll your eyes, shaking your head as you walk away. but you don’t miss the way his gaze lingers, following you through the crowd like a promise.
#chris sturniolo#chris x reader#fratboy!chris#fb!chris#fanfic#matt sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#sturn777
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Couple Questions
You and Logan answer some cute couple questions!
professor logan howlett x professor fem!reader - established relationship (y'all married), cute, fluff, teasing, no y/n used, your an english professor, logan is a history professor
read on ao3 or find more parts for the series: here
a/n: not the usual update but I saw some couple questions on pinterest and thought you know what…im gonna do this because it’s cute. i may or may not also have headcanons for them lol.
What were your first impressions of each other?
You : grinning "I thought he was rude. He barely said hello when I first arrived at the mansion, just mumbled something and walked away like I wasn’t worth his time."
Logan : smirking "To be fair, I had a lot on my mind."
You : "But then I caught him staring at me in the library one day, and I thought, ‘Huh, maybe he’s not as grumpy as he looks.’ Turns out I was wrong—he’s grumpier.” teasingly nudges him
Logan : chuckling "You done? ‘Cause my first impression was that you talked too much."
You : mock gasp "Excuse me?!"
Logan : shrugging "But you had this fire about you. Didn’t take crap from anyone. Thought that was… different." pauses, his voice softening "And your laugh. First time I heard it, I couldn’t get it outta my head."
Describe the moment each of you knew you had feelings for each other.
You : thoughtful smile "I think it was when Jean told me Logan liked me. It just… clicked. All the banter, the little glances, the way he’d hover nearby even though he pretended not to care—it all made sense. Once I realized it, it was like… yeah, I like him too. It was terrifying and exciting at the same time."
Logan : scratching the back of his neck, pretending to look annoyed "She’s makin’ me sound soft already."
You : "You are soft."
Logan : ignoring her "For me, it was probably when I realized she wasn’t offended by my attitude. That’s when I knew she wasn’t just anyone. She was my someone."
Did either of you fight your feelings, or was it easy to accept?
You : snorting "Oh, we both fought it. He avoided me a lot of the time. I overthought everything —does he like me? What if I’m imagining it? What if I ruin our friendship?"
Logan : dryly "You do think too much. Me? I didn’t avoid you."
You : glaring playfully "You literally avoided the library for two weeks, and that’s your favorite place!"
Logan : grinning faintly "Alright, fine. Maybe I fought it a little. Was scared I’d mess things up. Didn’t think someone like you would want someone like me."
You : softly, brushing his hand "You’re an idiot for thinking that, but you’re my idiot."
When was the first time you said “I love you”? What prompted it?
You : "It was after a nightmare. Logan woke up in a cold sweat, muttering apologies for scaring me. But he hadn’t scared me—I just wanted to comfort him. And in the middle of me rambling about how it was okay, it just came out: ‘I love you.’"
Logan : quietly "Didn’t think I’d ever hear those words from someone. But when she said it, I couldn’t stop myself. Told her I loved her right back."
You : smiling softly "And then you called me a ‘damn fool’ for putting up with you."
Logan : shrugging "I stand by it."
Who is the big spoon, who is the little spoon?
You : "Oh, Logan’s the big spoon, obviously. But sometimes I’ll be the big spoon when he’s had a rough day. He pretends to hate it, but I know he secretly likes it."
Logan : grumbling "I don’t need a damn cocoon, sweetheart."
You : grinning "But you still let me."
What’s your favorite quality about each other?
You : "Logan’s loyalty. He’ll protect the people he loves with everything he has, even when he doesn’t think he deserves to be loved back."
Logan : looking at her, his voice softer "Her heart. She’s got this way of makin’ everyone feel like they matter. Like they’re worth somethin’. That’s rare."
You : teasingly "Stop, you’re gonna make me cry."
Logan : smirking "Good. Payback for all the times you make me feel stuff."
Who is the messiest?
You : raising her hand immediately "Me. Absolutely me."
Logan : snorting "Finally, somethin’ we agree on."
You : "Hey, at least I know where everything is in my mess. Your ‘organized’ piles confuse me."
Logan : "It ain’t hard, darlin’. One pile’s for weapons, the other’s for books. What’s so confusin’?"
Who sings in the shower?
You : grinning mischievously "Logan does. And he doesn’t even realize it half the time. It’s adorable."
Logan : deadpan "I don’t sing in the shower."
You : "Oh, so the other day when I walked by and heard you mumbling ‘Sweet Caroline’ under your breath, that wasn’t you?"
Logan : grumbling "I was hummin’ it. There’s a difference."
You : sarcastically "Sure, tough guy. Whatever helps you sleep at night."
Who likes horror movies? Who likes romance movies?
You : grinning "Logan likes horror movies, obviously. He’ll sit there, all serious, like nothing phases him. But I swear I caught him flinch once during The Exorcist ."
Logan : gruffly "Did not."
You : "You did. Anyway, I like romance movies. Logan pretends to hate them, but he always ends up watching them with me."
Logan : smirking "That’s ‘cause I know you’ll cry, and I gotta be ready to hand you tissues."
You : rolling her eyes "And yet, who was tearing up during The Notebook last week? Hmm?"
Logan : groaning "Alright, fine. I might like some of ‘em. But don’t go tellin’ anyone."
You : "Oh, your secret’s safe with me. But I’ll totally remind you next time we watch Pride and Prejudice ."
Logan : grinning, pulling her closer "You’re somethin’ else, sweetheart."
What’s your favorite memory of us?
You:thoughtfully smiling “That’s hard to pick. But… I think it was when you planned that romantic getaway for my birthday—you bought me that dress. Or when you wrote that for me poem and gave it to me for Christmas.”
Logan:grinning faintly “You mean the one where you cried ‘cause I wrote you that little poem in the book?”
You:mock gasping “You wrote me a poem , Logan. Of course, I cried! I still have that dress, by the way.”
Logan:chuckling, his voice softer now “That was a good one. But for me? I think it’s our wedding. Just you, me, and those vows I wrote on a scrap of paper. You called me an idiot for cryin’ halfway through.”
You:sniffing dramatically “And I’ll call you an idiot for it again, but only because you cried first. You set me off.”
Logan:smirking “You weren’t even gonna cry ‘til I pulled out that damn lucky pen you gave me.”
You:“Well, yeah, it’s our lucky pen, Logan! What did you expect?”
Hugs or kisses?
You:grinning slyly “Kisses. Definitely kisses.”
Logan:raising an eyebrow “Really? I’d say hugs.”
You:blinking in mock surprise “Logan Howlett likes hugs? Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”
Logan:shrugging, smirking a little “What can I say? There’s somethin’ about you wrappin’ yourself around me that just feels right.”
You:melting a little before recovering quickly “Okay, you win that one. But kisses still come with extra perks.”
Logan:grinning wickedly “Oh, I know.”
Who finds it harder to admit they’re wrong?
You:“Oh, Logan. 100% Logan.”
Logan:gruffly “What? That’s not true.”
You:glaring playfully “Logan, you once argued with me for three hours about the best way to cook eggs—only to realize you were wrong and never admit it.”
Logan:grumbling “That’s ‘cause your way still doesn’t make sense.”
You:crossing her arms “Oh, it makes perfect sense, tough guy. You’re just stubborn.”
Logan:grinning faintly “Alright, fine. Maybe I don’t like bein’ wrong.”
You:“Maybe?!”
Who’s the boss in the marriage?
You:smirking, pointing to herself “Obviously me.”
Logan:laughing softly “Yeah, you think so, huh?”
You:“Logan, who does the meal planning? The laundry schedules? Who makes sure you actually remember birthdays and anniversaries?”
Logan:grinning “Alright, you. But who fixes stuff when it breaks? Who makes sure no one bothers you when you’re havin’ a bad day? Who makes the coffee in the mornin’ exactly how you like it?”
You:softening, smiling sweetly “Alright, fine. We’re both the boss in different ways. But let’s be honest—when it comes to arguments, you fold first.”
Logan:mock scowling “Only ‘cause you give me those damn eyes. Ain’t fair.”
Who has the best jokes?
You:grinning smugly “Me. Hands down.”
Logan:snorting “Yeah, okay. But only ‘cause your jokes are so bad, they’re funny.”
You:“Excuse me?!”
Logan:grinning “Sweetheart, half your jokes are puns. Don’t get me wrong, I love seein’ you crack yourself up, but best jokes? Nah.”
You:frowning in mock offense “Fine, then let’s hear one of your so-called ‘good’ jokes.”
Logan:deadpan “Why’d the history book break up with the science book? No chemistry.”
You:blinking, then laughing despite herself “Okay, that was actually pretty good. Damn it.”
Who is grumpier?
You:“Oh, Logan. No contest.”
Logan:shrugging, unbothered “Yeah, probably.”
You:giggling “You’re basically a walking thundercloud until you’ve had your coffee. And even then, you’ve got about an hour before you start growling at people.”
Logan:smirking “That’s true, but you’re no ray of sunshine when you’re hungry.”
Who gets angry when they’re hungry?
You:immediately “Okay, fine. That’s me. But in my defense, you always know when to feed me before I get too hangry.”
Logan:chuckling “Damn right I do. Learned that the hard way on one of our first dates.”
You:giggling “Oh, you mean the time you forgot to feed me after making me hike five miles, and I almost bit your head off?”
Logan:grinning “Yup. You didn’t even wait for the food to hit the table before tearin’ into me. Thought I was gonna lose a hand.”
You:grinning sheepishly “Hey, at least you didn’t run for the hills.”
Logan:softly, leaning closer “Nah, sweetheart. I’d take your hangry self over anyone else any day.”
#logan howlett#wolverine#fluff#x men logan#x men wolverine#james logan howlett#marvel#hugh jackman#professor logan#professor logan howlett#x men movies#days of future past#professor reader#logan howlett fluff
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Youtube Recommendation: Summoning Salt
Time for something quick and simple, I think. I might be sprinkling posts like this throughout the year here and there, just using this as an excuse to talk about another creator that I really like.
So, any speedrunners in the audience?
Speedrunners both terrify and intrigue me. Even when watching a middle-of-the-road run, or an old run that is vastly outdated by modern techniques, I am always stunned and mystified by the amount of skill, planning, and tenacity that goes into making them work, the hours and hours put into playing the same game over and over again, stripping it down to its absolute bare essentials and looking for breaks in the chain, openings in the plate, which can be exploited as much as possible.
And as much as I love hearing the technical side of all these things, what I love most is learning about the journey that a game takes to become a heavily played speed game.
If you've had any sort of interest in speed running a game, or the practice or people in general, chances are good you've come across videos made by a Youtuber named Summoning Salt. Summoning Salt's videos revolve entirely around speed running, which makes sense considering Salt himself is a very accomplished speedrunner, holding 1st place in six different categories for Mike Tyson's Punch-Out!! on the NES. This intimate knowledge on the ins and outs on the process of speed running, and his own experience, lends his videos an important touch of professional knowledge.
His output primarily consists of videos covering the history of the speed running community and record for a particular game, and he doesn't just cover the big games either. While yes, he has touched on games like Mike Tyson's Punch Out, Super Mario 64, and the Mario Kart series, but he's also covered games you really wouldn't expect to HAVE a speed running community, like Wii Sports or the Lego Star Wars saga. He's also done videos spotlighting the careers and attempts to beat the records of prominent speedrunners, like Abney317 in Mario Kart 64 or Jimmypoopins in Ninja Gaiden 2, or videos concerning very specific categories within a community. He's done videos on blindfolded Punch-out and Super Mario 64, as well as a video on the Wii Sports Golf game specifically, for example.
And these videos are like potato chips. I can't watch just one, despite the rather impressive length of them. His older videos usually range between fifteen minutes and a half hour, but his recent videos range anywhere from between forty-five minutes to upwards of two hours as he goes into massive detail on the history of a game, going through every discovery for glitches and techniques, and probably most importantly, highlighting every player that helped to push the game forward or challenge the community's status quo, no matter how small of a role they might have played in the grand scheme of things. No detail is too small if it means talking about some interesting aspect of the game.
His videos are also incredibly easy to understand as well, which lends them well to those who aren't really into speedrunning or might be new to the community. he does use language and terms that are intrinsic to speedrunning, but he generally does a good job of explaining what those terms mean in a way that is very accessible. I compare that to videos from mother speedrunning focused channels that are really into the technical side of things, like Bismuth. Bismuth is another great speedrunning channel, but focuses more on explaining, in great detail, the technical aspects of how certain tricks and glitches work. To give you an idea of their breadth of knowledge, their biggest project is an exhaustive 5+ hour long documentary explaining all of the history and technical aspects behind the A-button challenge, where people try to beat Super Mario 64 using as few A-button presses as possible. It's a really interesting watch, at least to me, but due to the technical nature of their videos, Bismuth's stuff is a bit more niche. Summoning Salt's videos are much more simple, and he uses languages and explanations that are pretty easy to understand, often not bothering to go in depth into the technical aspects of what makes certain tricks work beyond what is necessary to understand the idea behind it, or just skip over the technical details entirely if it would slow down the video, which is focused more on the human element of speed running, the drama and high emotion of trying to reach, and keep, a record.
Even if you're an outsider looking in, I would highly recommend checking out Summoning Salt's channel, just for the entertainment value alone. Ultimately, the videos are stories about the people behind the records, who made the community what it became, rather than focusing on the game itself, and I think that's what makes it so fascinating to watch. Here are a few recommended vids that I personally enjoy:
Recommending Videos:
The History of Blindfolded Super Mario 64: At the time of my writing this, this is actually the most recent video on Salt's channel. Not the first ‘blindfolded’ video he's done, but I feel like this one better exemplifies the absolute struggles of playing a well known game without the use of sight AND doing it quickly.
The History of Wii Sports World Records: An excellent example of just how Summoning Salt can take something that, conceptually, shouldn't be that interesting or epic, and through just telling you about the people and just how it started to gain popularity, he gets you to care about something as silly sounding as the world record for marathoning all the games in Wii Sports as fast as possible.
The Quest to Beat Matt Turk: This was the video that got me into Summoning Salt's channel, a story about how a dead speedrun community was given new life as a series of runners came together with the collective goal of trying to beat the individual times of the runner who held the world record in every single fight in Punch Out.
The History of Super Mario Bros 3 100% World Records: This is a good blueprint for how most of Salt's videos tend to play out, and it's for a game that is incredibly well known. This is a quintessential Summoning Salt video and will probably give you a really good idea as to whether or not you'd enjoy his content.
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Hello I made you some more art!! IDK Why your little guys have just stuck in my brain as of late but yeah I'm just on a roll I guess!
This piece was inspired by wondering who was present around Machete's assassination, and how people around him would react to his downfall. So I had the idea for a portrait of a final lover's embrace, as Vasco holds his dying beloved in bloodsoaked arms.
I tried my best with the clothing -- especially the shoes -- and I think I did a pretty good job but BOY were they hard! XD Anyways, I hope you like this one, it was a blast to draw! I love machete sm istg <3
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#Machete#Vasco#own characters#coldandfoggy#gift art#hhhhadgasjgdshad???#THIS#¿¿¿¿¿#congratulations you've managed to deliver some immense mental damage through the ethers#and I mean that as a compliment I live for the moments when art just really Hits You Where It Hurts#loving the way the scarlet red of Machete's cassock blends seamlessly with the pool of blood#Vasco's expression speaks volumes#he was always a very touchy feely person so thinking of their final embrace just puts a pit in your stomach#poses like this are tricky but Machete looks appropriately limp and lifeless and at peace in a way that's cruelly ironic#the halo is a nice touch it kind of evokes pietà imagery#the clothing and the shoes look fine I wouldn't have guessed you had issues with them if you hadn't mentioned it#just a grand old liver punch this one#damn son#thank you for drawing the sad dog guys I'm very flattered they've made an impression! I know I'll be agonizing over this piece for a while#some potentially upsetting lore musings!! violence and tragedy and stuff:#I haven't cemented the chain of events yet but I believe he was ambushed by a single assailant when he was alone#either early in the morning or late evening#he didn't manage to put up much of a fight that time the first stab punctured a lung and the second nicked a carotid artery#I believe you lose consciousness in a minute or so and generally bleed out in less than three#Vasco wouldn't have been informed of the murder because why would he be and even if he somehow found out very quickly#the distance between Rome and Florence is roughly 250 km don't quote me on this but it looks like it'd take at least 4 days on horseback?#I think but I don't know how horses work to be honest#maybe they had some sneaky correspondence going on but if there was a pause in communications it wouldn't have been a cause for concern#so it's highly likely he'd only find out when he rolled in town for another business trip#and Machete had been buried weeks or months ago
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The brainworms are winning, clearly (Patreon)
#Doodles#Osmosis Jones#Ozzy#Drix#Thrax#As if it wasn't bad enough when it was just Doran oh no - I knew I'd want a separate tag for this in earnest at some point ahhhh#Damned#Alright sure lol good enough - I'll go back and edit the tag in a bit#I just can't help it wahh the Institute is such a fun and interesting setting it scratches my brain in Such a way#It's been really fun poking around to see who's there but there are some who I'm like ''Why wasn't [x] there? :0''#Some make sense lol like characters that didn't exist/come into the cultural vogue until after the game started or ended#Totally understand that - and it's still really fun to speculate how they'd react! Very enjoyable!#But others - like the above - I'm just like But they existed before the game and are such fun characters! Why!#Neverminding that Osmosis Jones was yet another box office flop in an impressive lineup of likewise siblings oof lol#It'd be such a good movie......if only (lol) Like I love it! But yeah it's still pretty rough haha#Gosh if the animated sections aren't beautiful tho hh <3#The show's even rougher - like why choose a nearly PG-13 movie to turn into a Y-10 (at the Most) cartoon? The tone shift is so jarring lol#So yeah! Why weren't these characters a more popular draw five years later! That's practically still pop culture! Lolol#No I'm well aware I'm probably The entire pool of people interested in this crossover but hey - I offer >:3c#Obviously I had to have Ozzy judging me for subjecting him to the Institute - this is what you get for being a fave Oz <3#Thrax is All over him (a criminal) and Ozzy (a cop) being equalized in the same prison uniform lol - I mean yes but actually no#It's an escape game of course he wants out#I have way too much fun making ''real person'' profiles wagh I've already made a bunch of backstory stuff helpppp#The names are pulled around from the various voice actors/real names based on character names which was Quite fun#And of course Oz had to get punched :) That meme's not completely dead yet is it lol#But really it was just fun posing ahhh I'm really rather pleased with it <3 Excited to scene-stitch that one together too#Drix fussing over Oz is my favourite ahhhh yesss <3 <3#Can you tell that hunched-over Thrax was my first pass? Here's a hint - he doesn't have a burned finger there!#I wrote up his profile after that one and forgot to add it afterwards haha but yeah! Just barely touched on in-fic so far lol#And then him in his proper clothes.... Look all I'm saying is that I was uniquely primed in my media diet to enjoy Vargas lol
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#what i wanted to do today was watch game 3 of the 2014 finals#but i couldn't find it on you tube and as we all know it's not on league pass#so i ended up just spending some more time on across the time line#here's a fun fact i learned: Stephanie white got one technical foul in her career as a player and it was in the first game she ever played#meanwhile dt fouled out in her first game while still putting up like 22 points and 3 blocks 3 assists and 3 reb#shooting 53% from the field 7/13 and 3/6 from 3#and went 22-26-22 in the first 3 games of her career#a damn shame league pass doesn't have any of those available#and then i spent some time looking at scoring records#and here's the thing i respect the *ja one because it can stand without asterisks#but you know i was doing some math and looking at some things#it is so impressive that total points and points per game were not touched until 2023 and 2024 respectively#records that were set in 2006!#i have other thoughts about mvp stuff that i am not going to share rn bc i would prefer that they not be taken in the context of this seaso
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started watching the 80s astroboy anime and i need tenma to explode
#actually crazy how quickly they do his origin he was in the circus for like a week tops#i love the art tho its so beautiful#the animation is kinda typical 80s stuff its not too impressive but i appreciate the level of detail#esp in the backgrounds and textures and character expressions#its so cute and cartoony but distinctly 80s anime i love it#i would say its similar quality to the first seasons of pokemon#also tenma isnt like evil in this one as far as i knoe but hes just an asshole#like his son was only reborn like a month ago and he already decides he doesnt want him just bc he makes mistakes#damn bro maybe its bc hes 1 month old ToT#i need them to throw tenma in a pit and also let astro live a normal life bc hes getting almost blown up every episode#im glad he gets to go to school its very sweet#omg also#the way that the robot discrimination is shown in this show and in the manga is so dofferent from the 2009 movie its kinda crazy#in the movie youre supposed to laugh at the robot activists bc theyre incompetent and theyre extremists and also commies for some reason#but in the manga and anime its like a main belief all of the main characters hold. the topic of whether robots should have human rights-#-is only smth fought against by the bad guys#hmmm........ its smacks of american
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it's not even like I don't have fun at times. I had SUCH a good call with @stealingmyplaceinthesun this afternoon it was loads of fun and at times I got extremely giggly in a way I haven't for probably months. and afterwards I ate dinner and it was ALL FINE until it wasn't
#can't identify a trigger except if it's simply eating in which case i should just go jump i guess! because how is anything going to get#better? and like even after dinner and whatnot I was doing impressions of my characters and reading over some of my stuff from nanowrimo#and having a grand old time. and then i Wasn't and Ain't and it's just the stupidness of my damn brain I guess
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people?? being niceys to me???? for no reason except loves me?????????????
it's more likely than i think, apparently.
#this post brought to you by Grandparent i was forcibly estranged from most of my life suddenly being in it lots more than#the other side of dad's family AND my mom's family combined and like?? actually doing things??? to help me???? without asking for anything#except that i give him a personal update about my life so he doesn't find out on fb#which i can get behind even if my logic makes perfect sense to me as to why i don't do this#(easier to reach a wider crowd of people who can disseminate the information from there + don't have to repeat myself especially if it's#like stuff i'm still really tender or emotional about + keeps me from spilling all the beans about my private life because fuck FB + i don'#tell ANYONE specifically - everyone is getting the news the exact same way so i'm not running into any favoritism nonsense#though i'm getting the impression the fact that a large portion of my life was avoiding looking like i was picking any particular side migh#not be the way a vast majority of people go through life#much to ponder wow my family really is fucking toxic as hell#i can't even accept help offered to me without making sure they know i don't want to inconvenience them at all#which like???? idk which culture THAT'S originally from but boy did my family come from that one#i'm pretty sure i'm supposed to completely reject any assistance completely but like#a bitch got no money i'm not saying no if my granddaddy wants to send me some because of reasons#hilariously learning that this side of the family also has all of the same symptoms and issues i have#and that i had noticed that my mom's side of the family has rampantly which just like#of fucking course my genetic makeup was a perfect storm of Fuckery#i got loose joints and heart problems on BOTH sides on top of pain issues and audhd and mental health issues just smothering the damn tree#i have so many complex emotions regarding my biofamily i s2g lol
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I CAN'T FIND YOUR RECORDING OF ONLY GIRL BUT THE SONG CAME ON THE RADIO AT WORK AND I COULD ONLY THINK OF YOUR VIDEO
I love your animations and recordings so much I think of them a normal amount <3 they're so silly<3
oh you mean thissun right
waaaa ty ;-; im glad yu likkem so much............,.,.,.,i enjoy being a silly billy on main :3333
#spacie splains#EURUUUG#OH GOD#FLASHBACK TA FALL SEMESTER WHEN I WAS FAWNING OVER THIS#STOP ILL BLUSH ABT IT AGAIN#WHAT IS SO INCREDIBLE IS THAT. I FAWNED OVER THEM AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE IN COLLEGE STUDYING ANIMATION#CUZ GYAT DAMN THEIR STUFF IS IMPRESSIVE#AND I FOUND OUT THEY'RE YOUNGER THAN ME. LIKE 2 YRS YOUNGER.#SO PROBABLY STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL (AT THE TIME).#LIKE. HUH.#THIS KEEPS HAPPENING TA ME FOR SOME REASON THESE KIDS ARE JUST BUILT DIFFERENT I SWEAAAAAAAAAAAAR#WE AINT HAVE THIS BACK IN DA DAY BRAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HEAD IN HANDS HEAD IN HANDS#I FEEL OLD#anyways. walks away before i get Too Silly#(i wasnt expecting them ta keep following me b/c. i mean. gestures towards myself)#(so i was like. ill post this and be able ta fawn abt their art and they will neeeeeeeever know....BUT. BRO. THEY COULD KNOW QUITE EASILY)#(((THEY PROBABLY ALREADY KNOW)))#(((STARES AT THE SCREEN)))#(((STARBS IF YOU'RE READING THIS I CAST SPELL OF SUDDEN BLINDNESS AND AMNESIA YOU CAN NO LONGER READ AND YOU HAVE NO MEMORIES)))#(((LAUGHS EVILLY)))#(((MORE EVIL LAUGHING)))#(((pause)))#(((shyly makes my exit)))
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Books Read in 2023:
Liberated to the Bone: Histories, Bodies, Futures by Susan Raffo (2022)
Unflattering Photos of Fascists: Authoritarianism in Trump's America by Christopher Ketcham (2020)
Overdressed: The Shockingly High Cost of Cheap Fashion by Elizabeth L. Cline (2012)
A Small Place by Jamaica Kincaid (1988)
Why are Faggots so Afraid of Faggots? Flaming Challenges to Masculinity, Objectification, and the Desire to Conform edited by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore (2012)
The F*ck It Diet: Eating Should Be Easy by Caroline Dooner (2019)
The Road to Jonestown: Jim Jones and the Peoples Temple by Jeff Guin (2017)
Garbology: Our Dirty Love Affair with Trash by Edward Humes (2012)
The 100-Mile Diet: A Year of Local Eating (2007)
[ID: Covers of the aforementioned books. End ID.]
#2023media#liberated to the bone was. fine. if you're into healing i guess prob good and when reading i was like huh good community talk#but it left no impression on me#unflattering photos i read in like an hour it was fine#overdressed was definitely interesting but i think i would genuinely dislike the author if i met her irl#apparently ppl spend on average like $1.1k on clothes??? and this was ten years ago??? how???#a small place should be required reading. fantastic. i'm reading everything by this author#i listened 2 it on audio book and the audio book was GREAT#faggots so afraid of faggots was. like it seemed interesting but it was just okay?#it was a bunch of works so some were hits and some were misses#fuck it diet was a good read made me rethink some food things#has a lot of nice follow ups and some journaling entries im going to try to do#road to jonestown was an incredibly well written book about the tragedy. holy fuck. highly rec#garbology was solid and horrifying read and makes me want to really look at my garbage damn#100 mile diet i wasn't sure what i was expecting but i found it genuinely moving and charming and made me#look at how i eat and my diet and stuff#f slur
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on one hand I get no joy from KH fanfic anymore on the other oneshot of Sora finding out Young Xehanort made it to Squareville and pinning him for some questions on what the he*k is going on
#katie rambles#an idea briefly inspired by the sketch nomura made awhile ago for DR stuff I think? the umbrella#because I think someone pointed out that despite the blur it looked somewhat like a known landmark over in japan#and (gestures to xehanort's DR comments about needing another life to observe The After of his plans)#but this would require me knowing what's going on#and there is no god damn way im even going to be close to an answer on what's going on#it would be neat if the lil guy is there in 4 + they have some banter over coffee like Normal People but talking about Very Not Normal Thing#(with maybe just a bit of subtext:tm: if you squint i guess)#(for old time's sake yanno)#but like idk. im burned. im tired.#and im not really interested in whatever meta tripe 4 is gonna introduce#it feels so. not kingdom hearts#i think it's really gotten too wild for its own good now#we're launching out of the heartfelt and digestible ruminations on friendship and how it's a vital source of happiness and support#and how it's basically a human right to have a healthy place of community and belonging#and going into just whack ass multiverse whatever that just. idk it bores me#and idk if they can really do it in a way i care about when everything leading up to 3 got shoved in a fucking trash can#like whats the point of following and theorizing if they're just gonna ignore it just to be contrary! for an unearned surprise!!!!!#like fuck man i want to like this series again but 4 has got miles to go before impressing me#old man yells at cloud in tags yada yada let people enjoy the series + 3 wasn't bad whatever im grumpy
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Me yelling furiously in the discord call about a random subject not because I'm mad but cause I'm just Opinionated™ and can't regulate how that sounds very well and feel safe enough to do so steadily actually getting annoyed because the one person in the call who doesn't know me keeps teasing about me being mad and for me to calm down is not a fun thing except when this one guy with the Kel icon does it because mine is still Aubrey and that fits their dynamic so much it's funny
#my friends are playing pokemon on discord#which means interacting with people who are my friend's friends#but not my friends#and sometimes it annoys me because in person I can just look at someone wrong and they know they said something kind of insensitive#and it's easier to tackle those in person immediately to know if they're gonna respect that boundary or if I can just straight up#explicitly dislike them#but this middle ground is annoying cause they're not passing my vibe check but idk if it's just the environment#like no one takes anything seriously on a call except me who takes everything seriously to an extent and won't consider them friends#Until they have at least one genuine conversation with me#so yeah weird vent my tummy hurts so bad I wish I was on call today but alas painn#one of the times I ''snapped'' about something was some bullshit take on being queer by the token straight dude of the group#and him I actually know irl despite not being close he is part of the friend group#and on the next time we got together for the same activity he starts out with ''hey you're not mad at me right I did some thinking on it#and I really did say some stuff that I'm not proud of I should do better please don't dislike me 👉👈''#and like! damn! if I had done that intentionally that'd be impressive but I was just saying shit! I wasn't even mad!#wasn't even too serious but he still did some reflection upon that and I was real happy that's what came out of it?#he's not the kind of person who would say that just from fear of losing a friend he barely talks to either so it was legit just My Vibe wow#Void fala aí
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god i love james wans movies, theyre so bad but so good
#like some of them are bad at being horror but good at being drama and im here for it#i have mixed feelings about the warrens irl but them in the movies 😭😭 i need a husband like that#i hate them they made me attracted to patrick wilson and thats not okay#but fuck by the third movie lorraine knowing him so well she keeps his heart medication in her locket😭😭😭#because he goes running without thought to save her even when she doesnt need saving#even when she CAN handle it herslef she never needs to push through the worry or fear#because he just always instantly there#but as for the annabelle movies i still think the real doll is creepier than the dead silence leftover prop BUT he or someone on his team#knows not only horror but ghosts#and its impressive to me all the things they split between annabelle and the nun/valak that are legitimate haunting experiences#its the room turning darker the longer you look into it amd the horned things smile#and the yellow eyes that they onlt gave to the nun#because i honestly believe that showing it in its true form with all of these traits would give it power#and like...release it#anyway the two movies i wanted to watch arent up for streaming ans im too lazy to get my laptop out for it#cause im actually maybe gonna play a game on it duh#but fuck i do think james wan doesnt pull punches with jumpscares while also creating compelling characters#especially if those characters are fully damned from the beginning#idk maybe i feel this way because of my paranormal experiences but i genuinely do like jumpscare horror when its done well#becayse his is#and also he know how just Bad malignant was and he did it anyway😭#annabell creation was the best by far tho horrorwise#plotwise i do love the conjuring 2 even though they werent involved with the enfield haunting#after their initial interview they werw told to fuck off by the family ans morris rosse was the main investigator#but valak was sexy and it was such a lovely portrayal of their relationship#tbh annabelle is good but it just makes me a little sad because she nearly loses her baby#that stuff kinda gets to me not as horror but as like a personal thing#ill still watch it tho im not a baby i can deal with that shit but just i know i probably cant have kids and wouldnt survive if i tried so#anyway james wan haters get fucked his movies are good when hes the one directing them
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Gather around, my young friends and fellow dinosaurs, let me tell you about some BULLSHIT no one ever tells you about. I'm talking about menopause and perimenopause. Now, menopause has a very stringent medical definition. You have to not have had a period for exactly 12 months and a day to be considered in menopause. All the bullshit before that day once you start going through The Change is considered perimenopause. Here's some bullshit you might experience that people actually talk about when you're in perimenopause:
- shorter time between periods
- irregular periods
- hot flashes and/or cold flashes
- fucked up sleep
- OMG NIGHT SWEATS
- Vagina as dry as the Sahara desert
- lighter periods and/or endless bleeding like it's The Flood but it's in your pants
- lack of interest in Adult Fun Times
This time of joy can last anywhere from a couple of years to a god damn decade and there's no medical way right now to predict it.
Here's some of the REAL bullshit they don't tell you about but your dinosaur aunt is here to let you know:
- You can start perimenopause in your 30s, don't listen to idiot doctors who tell you you're "too young" because they don't know your body like you do.
- Perimenopause will make you HELLA DUMB. Seriously, I'm talking Bigly broken brain. Brain fog? Check. Short term memory? Wave goodbye to it. Ability to make words form out of thoughts? Yeah, good luck to you.
- Perimenopause can cause horrible fatigue because in addition to losing estrogen, you're also losing testosterone. Oh and that also leads to muscle wasting, cool cool.
- Things might suddenly hurt more because estrogen is known to be neuroprotective.
- If you're super lucky like I am, and like to collect rare illnesses, you might even get Burning Mouth Syndrome 💀
- And meanwhile, while you're going through this bullshit, you'll be getting gaslit by doctors who are operating based on 30 year old debunked data about how HRT causes breast cancer (not really) and that they shouldn't put you on it until you're in actual menopause. (Data shows starting HRT early can potentially prevent Alzheimer's in later years.)
- There are entire online clinics right now (I use Midi Health) focused on providing care for peri and menopausal patients and they will happily prescribe you HRT even if your regular PCP or OBGYN do not (if you meet the criteria). I've been pretty impressed with how holistically they view the patient. For full disclosure, I learned about them from my integrative health doctor and they do not accept Medicare (yet).
I'm 46 years old right now and I've been symptomatic for perimenopause for the last 8 years, although it's gotten the most dramatic in the past 2 years or so, which I hope means I'm almost done, holy hell. Yeah I was on the early side, but if it can happen to me, it can happen to you, so it's never too early to think about these things. And I hope to at least spare some of you the mind-fuckery I've been through because no one told me about most of this stuff, including my own mother who just DOESN'T REMEMBER what happened to her and now I completely understand why. And because I also have a connective tissue disease, I used to just dismiss my pain and fatigue as being caused by that illness rather than the loss of hormones.
Anyways, this is why we need Elders in our lives, so they can do Grandma Story Hour like I just did and validate you when the entire medical field tries to gaslight you. I hope you've found some or all of this educational/useful. Please share with your friends because we really do NOT talk about this stuff enough. (Ewwww Moon Blood!)
Stay well, and don't let the bastards grind you down!
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That Wasn't Fake (Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader)
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Author Masterlist
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Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!BAU!Reader.
Request: Can you write a Spencer fic where the reader is kind of quiet and shy when she begins working at the BAU, and Spencer has a crush on her, and then they have a case, and she has to like to seduce the unsub lowkey and everyone kind of like...how is she going to do this shes not very outgoing but when she does shes really good at it, and everyone is surprised and impressed.
Summary: You're shy and reserved. Spencer has a crush on you, and unbeknown to him, you have a crush on him. Maybe the cat can get out of the bag when you have to step aside of your comfort zone to catch an elusive unsub.
Word Count: 4.2k (no self control here)
Warnings: Words like 'fuck' and 'bitch'. A rant about self-doubt. Typical CM stuff: unsubs, killings, etc.
A/N: Another request I loved! It should have been a little shorter, but I'm having a hard time getting to the point these days. Please keep sending requests!
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Spencer knows it is inappropriate, but he can't help it. You're coworkers, and that itself sets a boundary, so he shouldn't be thinking of trespassing.
But the crush he has on you seems to grow every day.
He doesn't know if it is your beautiful smile, the kindness you show in everything you do, or the enthusiasm you put into every task you are committed to. Since the moment he saw you pass the bullpen glass doors, Spencer knew he was damned.
From that moment, Spencer knew he wanted to know you and learn everything about you. About what you liked, what you hated, and what your fears and dreams were. Everything.
But not much after that revelation in his mind, he understood it wasn't going to be easy to get to you.
You were extremely shy and reserved.
In fact, your first interaction - when Emily introduced you both - consisted of a wave of your hand and a timid 'nice to meet you.'
He thought as time went by, you would loosen and become less bashful and quiet. And in part, he was right. As the months passed, you began to feel more comfortable within the team. You laughed at Luke's jokes, you commented on Rossi's stories, and you could even - when the stars aligned - crack a joke yourself to Tara or Matt.
But beyond that, no one knew much about your life outside of the BAU, unlike JJ, who always talks about her kids and her husband, or Matt, who talks about his kids, too. Or Tara, who recounts her failed dates. Or the same Luke who always shows photos of Roxy.
You, on the other hand, seemed to be an enigma. But Spencer Reid loved decoding enigmas.
At first, he turned his interest in you out of mere scientific curiosity. However, internally, he knew it wasn't just that.
It started with small random questions about the times you worked together: Is this coffee okay? What was the last book you read? Do you think we should buy some donuts for the team?
If you were honest, it picked your interest why, from all people, Dr. Spencer Reid was so adamant in making conversation with you.
From what you knew and from what the team said, Spencer was not a person very interested in things other than work or books. But suddenly, out of nowhere, he asked you what the last movie you saw was or something like that.
You always answered his questions; however, you would have liked to be much more talkative and engage in longer conversations, but your nature stopped you.
'What if I don't have anything more interesting for him to say?'
'Does he just talk to me because he feels sorry for me?'
And that was the big issue: you have never had problems with the way you live your life. You're pretty satisfied with what you do in your job and out of it, too. But you have always thought you are too 'simple' to entertain people's interest.
And to be honest, being surrounded by people with so much experience and big things happening in their lives still intimidates you a bit. So, you usually refrain from talking too much about yourself or anything for that matter.
But with Spencer, things are a bit different. He's always checking on you but respects your boundaries. He has learned that sometimes you just don't want to talk, and he doesn't push.
Despite his interest beyond the professional, Spencer would never do anything to make you uncomfortable. Being able to share time with you will have to be enough for him.
In a way, he has become your protector. He is your backup during interrogations or in situations where you can feel awkward, like the times when some police officers tried to flirt with you and got too close. Sure, you know how to turn them down, but sometimes guys don't get the memo and keep pushing. You're too shy to yell or be aggressive about it.
The team also understands the way you are, and they know it does not make you any less professional. However, they have always been careful not to take you too much out of your comfort zone.
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A whole two weeks and five murders later, the team is stuck trying to catch an unsub who has preferences for killing women after club nights. The profile says he is not interested in just any woman but in those between 25-30 years old who like to flirt with several men in the clubs. But it is not just any type of flirting; it is the type that is initiated and dominated by them. In short, he likes to kill women who are the opposite of submissive. He sees them as predators on a hunting ground.
Another finding in victimology is that the women he kills, in addition to having a specific age range, have very similar physical characteristics. And similar to you.
All his victims have your build, eye color, hair color, and height. It gets to be creepy to a certain point. And it's something difficult to ignore.
Bouncing information and possible strategies, the team agrees they need to be proactive to get him to show up before another killing happens.
"Okay, what options do we have?" Emily asks.
"The witnesses haven't gotten us anywhere," Luke complains.
"Although we've narrowed down his hunting grounds," Rossi shrugs.
"Yeah, we know the clubs where he likes to hunt," JJ backs Rossi.
"But although the profile, we have yet to learn about what to look for there. I mean, we know what the unsub wants, but not how he looks like." This time, it's Tara who speaks.
You've rarely seen Emily bite her tongue when she wants to say something, but it's clear that she has something on her mind, and she doesn't know how to put it, or maybe the problem is something else. You look at her out of the corner of your eye, and she looks back at you; what do those eyes say? They look like they're even apologetic.
It's a fraction of the time before she comes back to behave like herself.
"We need to lurk him. It's the only way," she says. And everyone's eyes - yours included - are on her immediately.
"Lurk him?" Matt repeats.
"Yes. And all we know who should be the one going undercover to do that," Emily adds, looking at you this time.
That's it—the elephant in the room.
Of course, you're the ideal candidate. Well, you're perfect in the physical aspect because if we talk about the victim's personality and yours...
There's silence in the room, and you can feel like the team's eyes are all on you.
Do they expect you to say no? To refuse? From your perspective, it's not a question; it's more like the option you all have to catch the guy.
"It's true (Y/N) would be the closest to the unsub type, but there are a lot of things to take into account," Matt says. And you know perfectly well what's behind his words, even if he doesn't say it directly.
And that's okay; it's perfectly plausible they have their doubts. It is not enough to look like the victims for the operation to work.
But if there is one thing you are sure of, it's that you will always give your all to your job, even if that means becoming a completely different person.
"I can do it," you mumbled so quietly that if the AC weren't in the lower setting, people wouldn't have heard you.
"But (Y/N), you know about this guy. It's dangerous," Matt points, a frown on his face.
"Not to mention he likes rough interactions," Luke adds.
"You don't have to do it if you feel uncomfortable." This time, it is JJ who voices her opinion. And you know, that's the closest reason to the team's main concern.
And the fact you can blow up the entire plan.
Spencer stays in silence. Internally he's freaking out thinking of you having to lurk on the unsub, but he knows you are a professional. And he feels a kind of deja vu.
When he was younger, the team would have said the same about him doing something like that. Spencer knows what it's like when people baby you, making you feel insecure. Sure, he hasn't had to worry about that anymore. Spencer is almost forty, and no one would dare to tell him he can't do something. Not after all the things he has been through.
"JJ is right, Bella. You don't have to do it. We can think of another way," Rossi backs JJ.
That's when Spencer notices the slight frown on your face. It's invisible to everyone but him. He knows it's there.
You stay collected, even when everyone on the team has something to say about how bad the idea of you going undercover to lurk the unsub is.
Emily is who stops everyone's rant.
"Guys, hey. If (Y/N) is telling us she can do it, we're going to do it. Of course, we'll be there to back up her and catch this unsub."
And this is how the discussion is settled.
Emily sends everyone out with a task to prepare for the night. Today is Friday, and the unsub will surely be stalking some new victim. The chances are high.
When it's just you and Spencer in the room, he still looks at you in silence.
"Do you also think I'll not be able to pull off this mission and I'm going to ruin everything?"
You downcast your gaze, exhaling deeply.
"No. I don't think that," Spencer clarifies, and you raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "You are more than capable, (Y/N). The team is worried because you'll be out of your comfort zone in a dangerous situation."
"The team? Not you?" You narrow your eyes to him.
You try not to sound accusatory, but if you're as scared as everyone, you also are fed up with the other's doubts.
Spencer closes the distance between you both but doesn't invade your personal space.
"Of course, I'm worried too! I don't want anything bad to happen to you. But I trust you and your judgment."
Your heart does flip-flops, and you're not sure if it's because Spencer is worried or because, despite that, he trusts you—or both.
"You do?" You ask, not so convinced.
Spencer nods and smiles at you.
"And we'll be there when you catch the guy."
If that is the reassurance you need, you don't mention it. Instead, you grin at Spencer as a promise you'll do your job just how you are supposed to.
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You insist on getting ready in your hotel room. The only assistant you ask for is Emily. She was the one who trusted you first in this, so you'll take every piece of advice she can give you before this night starts.
Everyone has a role in the plan.
Rossi will be the chauffeur who will drive you to the club.
Luke and Spencer would be in the club, mingling with the patrons. JJ, Matt, and Emily would be in the van monitoring the whole situation with cameras and earpieces. Rossi would keep his facade as a driver so he could be at one of the entrances. Tara would be at the club, too, eyeing nothing suspicious going on in the bar because there is a chance the unsub is getting help from the bartender.
When you are in front of the mirror applying the last touch of makeup, Emily is looking at you with a stare you can't decipher.
"What?" you ask, and Emily chuckles.
"Please, don't take this in a bad way, but I never thought I would live the day of seeing you using clothing like this. And Jesus, you look so hot!"
Your cheeks redens.
"It's a little bit odd coming from my boss, don't you think?" you muse, smoothing the fabric of your dress.
"Point taken," Emily raises her hands in defense. "Although I know someone who is going to run out of breath after seeing you."
You let out a scoff. It's not a surprise for you. The BAU girls - boss included - have been trying to set you up with Spencer since forever. You don't entertain the idea only because you don't think it's possible and not because you don't like the concept.
"Come on, don't say that. You are not helping to my nerves."
"Sorry, I'll shut up. We should go, though," Emily says, checking her watch.
One of the SUVs drives you to the van parking point. You needed to review the operation details.
At the back of the van - or commander point - JJ, Luke, Tara, Rossi, Matt, and Spencer see you come up with Emily.
For the best US profilers, they're not doing a good job hiding that they are gawking at you. Surely, no one imagined seeing you in such a revealing outfit. Outfit that, without a doubt, suits you extremely well, highlighting all your body attributes.
Spencer feels like he died and was resurrected after seeing you.
"Okay, guys, we need to check the details again," Emily announces.
The plan is in motion, and everyone is in position.
As expected, you arrive with Rossi at the club, who opens the door for you and helps you descend from the car. Rossi gives you a reassuring smile before letting you go.
Like a switch, you are no longer the shy SSA (Y/L/N). Now you are the woman who is going to take what she wants and attract the unsub attention doing that.
Your walk is determined, and your eyes send out flames of confidence to those who look at you. The music is very loud, something that would usually bother you, but not now. This needs to feel like your environment. That's how you like it, you tell yourself.
Almost instantly, you start to attract the looks of men who are eager for a woman like you.
You exude determination, and you don't go unnoticed.
Walking into the club, you make brief eye contact with Luke, who is on the dance floor. You see Spencer perched in a booth, nursing a beer.
At the same time, Tara is stationed at the bar.
"Remember (Y/N); the unsub expects the woman to approach men. The flirt needs to come from you," Emily reminds you by the earpiece hidden in one of the earrings you're wearing.
"Show time," you mumble to yourself.
You walk seductively to the dance floor, where a young man is dancing with a blonde. You approach and whisper something in his ear. That makes the boy completely lose interest in the blonde and start dancing with you. You smile and cling to the man's body, who wastes no time and takes your hips as if they were his possessions.
That dance certainly has nothing innocent about it. You continue whispering things in the boy's ear, and he looks more and more excited. Once you consider it a reasonable amount of time to have attracted attention, you leave the boy alone and head to the bar. Just a few meters away from Tara, a suspicious man is staring at you. You see him out of the corner of your eye as you order a drink. When the bartender passes it to you, you make subtle eye contact with Tara, who nods, indicating that the drink is clean.
You look next to you and see another man not so subtly looking at you. You know the unsub's profile, and you can't be intimidated or dominated by another man. You are the one who calls the shots. Otherwise, this will not work.
Before the man makes his attempt to seduce you, you turn to him, and with a penetrating look and disdainful voice, you stop him.
"Sorry, honey. Don't waste your time. You're not my type," and with that, you leave to move to the opposite side of the club. The guy huffs, and you're almost sure hearing him call you 'bitch' under his breath.
JJ, who's following the cameras inside the club, sees someone who looks suspect.
"Hey, this guy has been peeking at (Y/N) the entire time, and look, he clenched his fists when (Y/N) turned down that guy at the bar."
Emily confirms JJ's observation before giving you the next instructions.
"(Y/N), you're doing great. We have a possible target. So we need to raise the bet."
You know exactly what Emily means. You both had talked about the strategy to follow, having more details about what you should do than the rest of the team.
Matt and JJ look confused at each other but say nothing.
Your next step is to find another dude to seduce before delivering the coup de grace.
Luke and Spencer keep an eye on you. And while Luke is pleasantly surprised by your audacity, Spencer can't help but feel his stomach tighten. He tells himself it's because he is afraid something bad could happen to you, but inside of him, it's that and the fact of seeing you flirt with other men.
Just like you did with the guy on the dance floor, you attract the attention of another man; this time, you take his hand and pull him to the dance floor.
JJ and Matt's jaws drop to the floor. If Tara, Luke, and Spencer could do the same without giving themselves away, they would have done it, too.
As if it were your second nature, you laugh and move to the music. The man seems to enjoy the moment so much that he takes a bold step by leaning in to kiss you. You let him get closer until his lips are almost on yours. But before touching each other, you pull back with a malicious smile.
"Naughty boy. I'm who says if you can kiss or no," you pout, faking disappointment. Dizzed, the guy cocks his head and sees you walk away.
Matt chirps now. "It's him. Look boss," he tells Prentiss, pointing to the same guy JJ saw before.
There is no longer any doubt that it is him. Now you just have to catch him red-handed.
"(Y/N), we got him. It's time for the last play," Emily tells you.
With Emily's instruction, you go to the bar for another drink before heading over to where Spencer is sitting.
He tries to play it off, but he has no idea why you're approaching him.
"Is this seat taken, handsome?" You ask, with your drink in hand.
"N- no. Please," Spencer gestures to the booth on his front, but you opt to perch to his side. Spencer thinks he never has been this close to you. He looks at your eyes, and it's like you are a totally different person. It's a little bit contradictory for him, to be honest. He already likes you just as you are, but this version of you? It's driving him insane.
Some resemblance of your true self looks with a kind of curiosity the nervousness on Spencer. You don't think much about it; you assume he's playing the nervous guy who is baffled by you.
The thing is, Spencer isn't playing. He's definitely baffled by you.
"Are you okay?" You ask him, masking your question with a seductive smile.
"Yeah. Are - are you?" Spencer stutters a bit—something that is perfect for the plan but embarrassing for him.
You get closer to him to speak in his ear.
"This was Emily's idea," you tell him before kissing his ear and gently biting his lobe.
Spencer's breath hitches in his throat, and he thinks he's going to pass out any second. You're not doing it better: your heart is also pumping hard from the adrenaline. Of course, you had imagined something like that with Spencer, but only in your erotic dreams. You wouldn't dare do this on any given day.
You keep teasing Spencer, who, despite the nervousness, tries to play along. If this is the closest he will ever have you, he wants to engrave this in his memory.
"Just a little push, (Y/N). We almost have him," Emily instructs by the earpiece.
You swallow as subtly as possible as you wrap your arm around Spencer's neck, pulling him closer to you.
It's only a second between that action and the fact that you're kissing Spencer like it's your last meal.
Spencer doesn't know how to respond, and you were counting on that; it was enough time for the unsub to notice that you were the one who chose her last prey.
When Spencer is about to reciprocate the kiss, you murmur a 'sorry' into his lips and quickly pull away, giving him a disdainful look—which you hope he understands is fake—before getting up and walking toward the back exit door.
As expected, the unsub follows you towards the back door, and while your back is turned, he believes he has the advantage to attack you. What he doesn't know is that Matt and Luke are ready to lunge at him the moment he tries to touch you.
Everything that happens after is too fast.
The unsub is detained and taken to a patrol car while the team gathers around you, congratulating you on the successful operation. They all apologize to you for their previous apprehensions. You tell them that you understand and that there is no need to apologize. And it's like the switch has been flipped again since you came out of the femme fatale role.
But something is wrong. Spencer is not in the group. You see him a little further away, near the exit door of the club. Emily notices the looks between you both, and she sends the team on different tasks to close the case, leaving you and Spencer there.
There's something in his eyes that you can't decipher. You think it's resentment for using him without warning him what you were going to do.
You shyly approach him.
"It's me again," you tell him, pulling a face. You don't know what to say to make the situation better. Spencer nods.
"Yeah. You did it great, by the way," he compliments you. But it doesn't feel good like Spencer's compliments usually do.
"Look, about the kiss back there-" you start. He needs an explanation as a bare minimum.
"I know. It was fake," Spencer cuts you off.
Those words shouldn't hurt you as they do now. But isn't that the most reasonable thing to believe? The you in the club weren't you, so all you did inside was pretend.
Everything except that kiss.
If it's true you couldn't enjoy it the way you would have liked, you will never forget his lips on yours.
A tense silence takes over the moment. This is not okay.
You can't afford to lie to one of the most important people in your life, even if telling the truth takes you out of your comfort zone.
What the hell! Tonight has already been a total of 180 from a usual day for you.
"It wasn't," you mumble, and you see his eyes flicking to yours in a second.
"What?" Spencer asks, narrowing his eyes at you.
"Everything was fake, but not the kiss," you say with a stadied voice this time.
Spencer's heart races again. If you say you didn't fake it, then what he felt on your part at that moment was real?
"It wasn't fake?" He asks for clarification. You nod.
A smirk forms on Spencer's lips, seeing your cheeks redden.
There you are. The girl he had fallen for in the past two years.
"Well, you know that I am a man of science, right?" he tells you, and you frown because you have no idea where this is going.
"I know," you say with some hesitation.
"And as a man of science, I need evidence of things, you know?"
Now, you are the one who smirks at him.
"Evidence, huh?"
"Yep," he says, emphasizing the 'p' and swaying his body on his feet. You hum.
"I believe I can provide the necessary evidence if you need them," you concede, and Spencer's eyes sparkle with excitement.
Now, he is the one who reaches out and cups your cheeks. Your breathing quickens, but that doesn't stop you from standing on your tiptoes and connecting your lips with his.
This time, there is no unsub, no curious eyes are looking at you, there is no rush, there is no femme fatale role, and above all, this is not fake; it's as real as the fact that your heart beats for him, and his for you.
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