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agatharkn3ss · 2 months ago

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AAA is retelling the story of Macbeth

Note: Yes, this is a very long post.

I believe Jac Schaeffer is telling us a version of Macbeth. The ballad lyrics use a quote from the play “Fair is foul and foul is fair”. There is also the painting in Agatha’s living room – “Macbeth and the three witches" by Francesco Zuccarelli. The painting clearly meant something to Agatha’s consciousness and it feels like it was meant to be seen, whether foreshadowing or reflecting emotional state (I wrote more about it here). Yet, Jac herself has not mentioned Macbeth in her interviews even once, which is interesting.

A huge question explored (but not answered) in Macbeth has always been about who is in control of our actions. Do we have free will or is already written for us by someone else? Can only one person be held responsible, and if so – is it the doer or the enabler who is to blame?

A quick play summary: Macbeth is a play written by William Shakespeare. It starts with Three witches telling the Scottish general Macbeth three prophecies: that he will be the Thane of Cawdor, that he will become a King of Scotland and that children of Banquo (his friend) will become kings. Shortly after, Macbeth really is appointed the Thane. Encouraged by his wife, Macbeth kills the king and becomes the new king. But he descends into paranoia, worried about the third prophecy, so he kills Banquo too. He seeks the witches out again, looking for reassurance. They show him 3 apparitions, which he interprets in his favour, giving him false sense of security. Civil war erupts to overthrow him and Macbeth is eventually killed.

When you compare the play with what we’ve seen in the show, the parallels become more and more obvious, and I think we can even identify who the characters are meant to be. My interpretation is:

Teen = William Shakespeare, the author

Agatha = Macbeth

Rio, Lady Death = Lady Macbeth (or Lady Macdeath?)

Banquo = Jen (but also Wanda)

The three witches = Alice, Evanora and Lilia (Maiden, Mother, Crone)

Detailed analysis:

Teen = William Shakespeare

The first obvious connection is the shared name and the fact that Vision actually said he wanted to name his son after William Shakespeare quoting “All the world’s a stage. All the men and women are merely players.”

This goes well with the implication that Billy has indeed “written” the Witches Road. I don’t think he is deliberately controlling it though – I believe his intentions are just so strong that the Road reflects everything we see in his room. He set the frame but he is not in charge. In fact, it feels more like the influence comes from William Kaplan rather than Billy Maximoff.

It is worth noting that the Macbeth play is set in a morally ambiguous society that judges others in black and white, while allowing shades of grey for themselves – very reminiscent of Billy’s attitude about witches in ep.5 when he said he is not like them at all – immediately followed by him lashing out. Lilia also reminds him in ep.7 of how much in common he has with this idea of a witch that he so vehemently rejects. I think in the end, when he realises that he is both Billy and William, he will also understand that he is not just a “writer”, but also a “player” of the story.

It is also interesting how there is no sun in the painting – similar to the perpetual night we see on the Road. The painting’s interpretations often suggest that the dark sky represents the theme of death lurking around (fitting that Jen calls Rio a “creepy lurker”). So I do believe that just as we have the symbolism of the Moon, there is also meaning to the Sun and the lack of it. This is why during Billy’s tarot reading, his card for “what’s missing?” is the Sun. At his bar mitzvah William Kaplan is in a white shirt. But when Billy returns home from the hospital, he’s wearing a stripy black and white top – but the white stripes are thin – only glimpses of William. Eventually Teen becomes this goth kid – suggesting that darkness has overtaken him. But in a promo we see him wearing a different top – again with black and white stripes but they are more equal and uniform. I think this symbolises that he realises he is both, Billy and William and it’s no longer murky to him. The Sun and the Moon are in balance. (And to that point – in ep.1 in Nicky’s bedroom we see wallpaper prominently showing both Sun and Moon elements. And the child’s drawing has the Sun at its centre)

Three Witches = Alice, Evanora and Lilia

This one is a more loose interpretation, but I think it ties well with the ongoing theme of “Maiden, Mother, Crone”. In Macbeth, it’s the witches that open the play, portraying them as those mysterious but powerful witches, controlling the events. But throughout the play, the audience realises they might not be as powerful – in fact, it is questioned whether they actually have the power to make things happen, or they merely have the ability to see the future. Eventually, they have less and less presence, and are not even there when the prophecies are fulfilled – suggesting that they were merely an illusion of control.

The fact remains that the witches are literal harbingers of doom – with their symbolism of number three (that is also heavily explored in this show, post here). They did share the prophecies, giving Macbeth the information he didn’t ask for. And later, when he comes for reassurance, they show him 3 more apparitions (well, 4, but he doesn’t take the last one in). The significance here was that the message here was so vague and deceptive that it could have one of two completely opposite meanings – and their interpretation proves crucial to the final outcome. The apparitions were telling Macbeth to be afraid, but instead he read what he wanted to see. He left feeling reassured, secure and justified in his actions. Again, the witches could be represented here as being deceptive, driving Macbeth’s demise. It feels like they had this insider knowledge that should’ve shared with Macbeth that would completely change the context of the message. But they didn’t and it’s a question if they ever even could.

Interestingly, in Act 3, Scene 5, the witches behave very differently to how they were before and it is believed that this is because this particular scene was not actually written by Shakespeare but by the actors themselves – if true, this would be an excellent parallel to episode 5 (and Agatha’s wearing a jersey with no.3). I believe Agatha’s trial was hijacked by Vertigo from Salem Seven. There were many inconsistencies with the previous trials, but I think the biggest tell was that the aspect ratio didn’t change – thus Vertigo taking over Billy’s story.

So, with all this in mind, I think that the show’s Three Witches are not active messengers to Macbeth/Agatha. It’s more about her interpretation of what they each represent in terms of her own destiny. I linked this with the Mother, Maiden, Crone - i.e. the Triple Goddess Hecate because in the play she us actually the “boss” of the Three Witches.

Let’s start with the obvious – the Mother element is Evanora, Agatha’s own mother who has always prophesised her that she will be evil. Then we have the Maiden. I think it makes sense that this is Alice. Not just because she is the youngest, but also because she serves as a fresh reminder to Agatha that she is actually evil, because she is the one who killed her. However, there is duality in here, because it is also an example that Alice protected Agatha BECAUSE Agatha was worthy of saving. That she didn’t actually think of her as evil, especially when recognising Alice’s own complicated history with her mother. Finally, we have the Crone – this Lilia, always complaining at how Agatha is the embodiment of the evil witch stereotype. And yet, in ep.7 Lilia gives Agatha an advice for her future – akin to a prophecy. Whether Agatha follows it or not, we don’t know yet, but it’s important to show that Lilia chose to help Agatha in the end, showing her she accepted her.

Banquo = Jen (also Wanda)

In Macbeth, the character of Banquo is Macbeth’s friend as is meant to serve as his foil – i.e. a person or thing that contrasts with and so emphasizes and enhances the qualities of another. Banquo has a lot of parallels with Macbeth and he is also present for the prophecies. Yet, he reacts differently to them as ultimately he is not interested in power.

So I think in the show, the foil is Jen – she is shown to be just as snarky and selfish as Agatha. She is also an exceptional witch that is at least a century old. But in the past she used her powers for the good before she became bound. She said she tried everything possible to unbind, but it seems she eventually accepted her fate, though she is still very much angry about it. Her business is false and people are harmed as a result, yet she knowingly continues that path.

This is parallel to Agatha, as we can predict that the myth of the witches road is her own fraud business, perpetuating it so she can steal power from the “undeserving” witches, not caring she causes harm. She probably could’ve ended up similarly to Jen or worse, had it not been for Billy pushing them both down the Witches Road.

It is interesting that they both seemingly passed their trials and yet neither of them recovered their powers. They both believe someone else is responsible for this (and to be fair, I think in Agatha’s case she is right – Vertigo stole her trial). There are many more similarities we can notice, but I wonder what this means for the future. I wonder if there will be confrontation between the two of them. I think Jen will be able to resolve her inner conflict and exit the Road, and she will become the literal High Priestess (i.e. head of her own coven) – similar to Banquo’s character, whose children became the kings, not Macbeth.

An honourable mention to another foil couple from the past – Wanda.

Both Agatha and Wanda were powerful witches, misunderstood by the society (“there will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us”). Both lost their children, but dealt with them differently. Both are told they were destined to be bad – Evanora calls Agatha evil and Wanda is prophesised as the Scarlet Witch who will destroy the world. It is interesting to debate who’s Macbeth and who’s Banquo in this pairing – while Agatha didn’t seem to be entirely under Darkhold influence, it was Wanda who eventually claimed Agatha’s power and the Darkhold, then become corrupted before her ultimate demise (and redemption).

Lady Macbeth = Lady Death

Lady Macbeth is the figure that often gets the full blame for Macbeth’s crimes – people even going as far as absolving Macbeth from any fault (which I think in itself is a demonstration of internalised misogyny but hey ho). She is also seen practicing witchcraft, which served as another suggestion that she was the baddie in control.

She has this line that could be a nod to Rio’s dagger - “that my keen knife see not the wound it makes”. Perhaps a reflection that Rio doesn’t want to see the pain that her actions as Death bring, that’s why she’s heavily dissociating with her powers, calling them “her job”.

When Macbeth is torn by the prophecies, he eventually decides that he will not kill the king. That very second, Lady Macbeth enters and very quickly manages to change his resolve. Later on, whenever he wavered, she was the one who would take over control. She was the ultimate enabler to his crimes, even getting the servants drunk, unlocking the King’s door, preparing the daggers etc.

She is seen as powerful but also completely loyal to Macbeth. She is devoted to the point that when she pleads with the spirits for his success, she offers them her own femininity (“unsex me”) in return, i.e. the one thing that makes her her. She doesn’t seek the power directly for herself (though she would have it through his actions), immediately accepted Macbeth’s prophecy, understood that’s what he desired and supported him throughout. I think this probably reflects Agatha and Rio’s relationship really well. In ep.4 it is Rio who is impatient to “do some damage”.

However, despite his early signs of deep affection, as Macbeth descends into his downward spiral, he is less and less bothered by his wife. Eventually, he is the one to continue all the killings, and Lady Macbeth fades into a background. To the point where she eventually commits suicide from all the shame, yet Macbeth barely notices it. Perhaps that disconnection happened for Agatha and Rio too. Agatha was lost to Rio when she hid behind the dark magic and it was painful to her, after all these centuries.

Agatha = Macbeth

Finally, Agatha, just like in the show, represents the titular character. Even when committing murders, Hecate describes Macbeth as “a wayward son, spiteful and wrathful, who, as others do, loves for his own ends, not for you”, which I think really represents what the creators are showing us here. The setting of the play is in a world where your rights don’t matter – but instead it is the strongest that holds the power.

Macbeth’s demise doesn’t so much come from knowing the prophecies (because Banquo heard the same), but from his fatal flaw of ambition. He read the prophecies and apparitions how he wanted them to read. They were his imaginary permission to do the killings to reach the goal. After initial doubts, he convinced himself it was the right thing to do, he became “wicked” and drove to his self-destruction.

(side note: there is also this ambiguity in the play, where there is mention of Macebth’s child, yet people think him childless, suggesting there is a story of child loss behind it – link with Nicholas Scratch?)

As explained above, the Three Witches serve as Agatha’s ingrained belief about her role. She is surrounded by number three, showing her as the harbinger of doom. She might not think this is who she is, but it is still the role she chose to play, and eventually it became self-fulfilling. Her fatal flaw is her addiction to power and she believes in that “might, not right” world. So she has this wall around her and pursues that quest for power, because what else is there left? She is unapologetic about this, but we also start seeing the layers coming off.

I think the story in the show will ultimately come down to whether Agatha understands that she is the one standing in her own way and that she is not above the rules. That no matter the circumstances and the reputation and people enabling her, she is the one ultimately responsible for her own actions.

I think she will drive herself to self-destruction and will be willing to die to gain back her powers. I think she will be left on the Road so it is “Agatha all Alone”. However, there must be some growth from her Witches Road journey, so I think in her process, she will have some meaningful resolutions with others and actually help them escape the Road. And maybe this time she will even follow the rules.

I think this will make a mark on the others so that they will actually try to bring her back somehow. She might feel alone, but the power of the coven will be the one to save her.

EDIT: Just wanted to add, yes, there is also the character of Macduff. He is meant to be this incorruptible, noble character, serving as a complete opposite to Macbeth. He is always very clear on abiding by what's right and wrong, but after Macbeth kills his family, he swears revenge. To the point that he ultimately sacrifices his own morality to restore order to the country by killing Macbeth, thus committing regicide (an act he despised Macbeth for).

While it does sound like it could point to Billy, I just don't think it fits. While Billy certainly saw himself as this "good" character, we see in the later episodes that he does actually have some darkness in him - to the point where is very happy to be Maleficent. He is more similar to Agatha than he thinks. He doesn't mind breaking the rules when it suits him ("stealing" William's body, breaking into Agatha's house, drowning Jen and Lilia) and his internal struggle seems more around finding his own identity rather than revenging a family he hardly remembers (and it isn't really Agatha's fault that they were gone). And if he truly wanted revenge, all he had to do was leave Agatha in her Agnes spell forever.

I do wonder though, if maybe to some extent we are getting William Kaplan as Shakespeare and Billy Maximoff as Macduff?

In the show there is also this ongoing theme where each of the witches are self-sabotaging and are actually their own enemies when it comes to getting "what's missing".

But if I had to choose anyone for Macduff, I think it would be Vertigo - revenging both the Salem mothers and her Salem Seven coven and seeing Agatha as the threat to the witches world, especially because she experienced it first hand. I have a theory that Salem Seven were originally Agatha's own coven that she formed after she killed their mothers, but through her cowardice, she betrayed them and left them on their own Witches Road. After that, Agatha kept conning other "undeserving" witches pretending she'd take them to the Road, while the Salem Seven became trapped and have gone "feral", thus losing their morality.

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hotdaemondtargaryen · 5 months ago

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GAYLE RANKIN INTERVIEWED BY VULTURE MAGAZINE.

Alys’s motives are unclear, and her expanded interactions with Daemon are a change from Fire & Blood, in which all that’s written of their relationship is “Whatever her powers, it would seem Daemon Targaryen was immune to them, for little is heard of this supposed sorceress whilst the prince held Harrenhal.”

(She’s also seemingly no longer a wet nurse with breast milk “that flowed so abundantly” it “nourished countless babes born of other women at Harrenhal.”)

Yet her willingness to call Daemon on his shit — Rankin says “no” ten times when I ask whether Alys cares about his obsession with being called “Your Grace” instead of “my prince” — and her unapologetically spooky aura give the character a decidedly different feel from the original in George R.R. Martin’s source material.

WHETHER ALYS IS CAUSING DAEMON'S VISIONS OR JUST INTUITING THAT HE'S HAVING THEM, SHE QUICKLY IDENTIFIES THAT HE'S MADE A LOT OF MISTAKES WITH THE WOMEN IN HIS LIFE. SHE CALLS HIM OUT ON HOW HIS STRATEGY FOR THE RIVERLANDS IS HURTING WOMEN IN PARTICULAR. DOES ALYS HAVE A GUIDING PHILOSOPHY CONNECTED TO A KIND OF FEMINISM?

"Yes, absolutely."

"It’s hard not to."

"It’s the perspective I come from as a person on the planet."

"As an artist, I’m really curious about uplifting women and disenfranchised peoples of all kinds."

"That’s part of what this show is about, if this is like the female Game of Thrones."

"Olivia and Emma do an incredible job of paving the way for nuanced stories about women in power, and Alys comes in as an extra foil to that narrative."

THERE'S SO MUCH AMBIGUITY, RIGHT? WHETHER SHE IS INSPIRING DAEMON'S DREAMS, WHETHER THE MEMBERS OF HOUSE STRONG ACKNOWLEDGE HER AS A BASTARD RELATED TO THEM. WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING WITH THAT MUCH MYSTERY, HOW DO YOU DEFINE THE BOUNDARIES OF THE CHARACTER FOR YOURSELF?

"It’s a thing I was struggling with every day."

"How do you play someone who is mysterious? How do you ground them, and make her a person with wants and needs and desires? As this season unfolds, you start to feel like there’s a story there, a person and a history."

"I know it."

"It was really personal."

"That was a lot of work I had to do privately, and hopefully we’ll feel and see more specific details at some point."

WHAT KIND OF STUFF DO YOU THINK ALYS GOT UP TO IN HARRENHAL BEFORE DAEMON SHOWED UP?

"I do believe she’s a maester of sorts, and a healer in many senses of the word."

"Whether or not Alys’s potions are actually potions, she’s kept Harrenhal on its feet for generations, in terms of just like, keeping people alive — or not."

I DO LOVE THE LINE SHE SAYS THE PREVIOUS MAESTER "JUST NEVER SETTLED IN."

"Well, there wasn’t enough room, you know." [Laughs]

"It’s a pretty hard job keeping Harrenhal afloat, keeping everybody safe and well, and keeping control."

"It’s a powerful space in and of itself, maybe one of the most powerful, and to have this woman running it, essentially, is really fascinating to me."

"She’s kind of like the First Lady of Harrenhal, if there was a government."

"She knows all the really wonderful spots to go swimming and do fun, pleasurable things."

"She’s spent a lot of time figuring out how to be by herself, but that’s like a blessing and a curse after 400 years."

YOU'VE SAID ALYS "DESIRES TO BE KNOW," AND THAT'S PARTIALLY WHY SHE MAKES THIS OVERTURE TO DAEMON. DID YOU SEE THAT AS A DESIRE TO BE KNOWN PERSONALLY, OR SHE WANTS TO BE RECOGNIZED FOR WHAT SHE'S DONE TO KEEP HARRENHAL GOING?

"It’s both, but they’re in competition with one another, which I think is inherently female."

"How are we to be as women in this world? Are we allowed to be vulnerable and also ambitious? Is there room for them in our society?"

"There’s something about her that’s trying to prove maybe there is, but it’s a fight."

THE HARRENHAL SET IS SO DETAILED. WAS THERE A SPECIFIC ASPECT OF THE SET DESIGN YOU CONNECTED WITH?

"My workshop was so specific."

"I hope we get to go back there."

"I loved how tactile it was — I had a bunch of ingredients that I could build the potion with."

"It was very comforting and it made me feel like I had been there for centuries."

"It felt very lived in and feminine, like a sanctuary, you know?"

"This tells me something about this person, that they have fought hard to build something for themselves, an identity."

WHAT WAS THE SUBSTANCE YOU WERE WORKING WITH YOUR MORTAR AND PESTLE?

"It was blackberries and crushed-up rose petals and some other dried fruit, I think dried oranges."

"It got to a point after so many takes where I was like, I have to stop adding things into this, I really don’t know what’s in this now, which is amazing for the scene."

"I’ll let the audience decide whether or not it’s on purpose that she lets Daemon see that she’s tasting it first. But who knows what Alys can withstand?"

"It’s an interesting question about daring him on and seducing him in some way, too."

THERE IS FAN THEORY THAT ALYS AND THE RED PRIESTESS MELISANDRE FROM GAME OF THRONES ARE THE SAME CHARACTERS. DO YOU HAVE A REACTION TO THAT?

"I would say that there are no other characters that have been repeated in the House of the Dragon world, so I’m not sure why we would start now."

YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT FEELING DRAWN TO GREEN AS A COLOR, PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF YOUR BIRTHSTONE, PERIDOT. IS THERE A SPECIFIC COLOR THAT YOU ASSIGN TO ALYS?

"Purple."

"The dress I wear — that’s like her uniform, really — is purple."

"Purple is actually quite a royal color, and I like it because it’s neither green nor black, and it’s not attaching itself to any side."

"Alys has her own identity and she travels in some ways right down the middle."

"It’ll be interesting to see where we go in terms of her color palette."

HARRENHAL IS IMPLIED TO BE INCREDIBLY HAUNTED. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE PIECE OF HAUNTED-HOUSE MEDIA?

"I recently rewatched the Kristen Stewart movie Personal Shopper, by Olivier Assayas."

"That movie undoes me: There’s something so grounded and realistic about it that I could imagine that happening to me."

"There’s something weirdly Harrenhal-y about it, too, because of the water and the kind of damp, echoey, very subtle beginning of the presence."

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therealcocoshady · 6 months ago

Note

If you’re taking requests, could you do one with Marshall and a plus size reader? Maybe how she doesn’t think she’s good enough for him and he makes sure she knows that she’s everything to him?

All of you ❤️

Author’s Note : THANK YOU for requesting this ❤️. As a plus size gal myself, it’s not always easy to identify with a Y/N reader 👀. So I really enjoyed writing this and I identified with the struggle ! I had fun writing this and I hope you will enjoy it. Just so you know, I write for everyone and y’all are free to imagine Reader as a plus size person ❤️

You were in your bed, mindlessly watching Marshall get ready for his day. You had a full two hours before you had to prepare for work and you had no plans of getting up before you absolutely had to. Not when the view was so tempting… On mornings when you woke up together, you enjoyed watching him get ready. He always woke up early, sticking religiously to his routine : shower, get dressed, go back to his place, gym, breakfast, and then work. You usually weren’t too talkative in the morning, enjoying cuddling and simply looking at him instead of speaking actual words. The two of you had such a chemistry that conversation wasn’t really needed most of the time. Marshall had grown accustomed to your silence and, usually, he didn’t speak much either. That morning, however, he took you by surprise.

- By the way, I wanted to ask you something, before I go, he said as was putting his clothes on.

- Mmmh ? You asked, still staring at his ass which was perfectly showcased by his boxers.

- Are you free next weekend ? I have this charity thing, I need a date, he said with a smile.

- What ? You asked confused.

- Quit staring at my ass and start listening, doll, he said playfully.

- No, no, I heard you, you said. You’re not going with Paul ? He usually goes to things with you.

- He’s going to be there, he hummed. But I get to bring a +1.

- And you want me ? You asked with a raised eyebrow.

- Well, what date could be better than the person I’m dating ? He chuckled. Plus, you could meet people, for your foundation.

- Wait… what ? You asked again.

- You should really get an appointment with an ear doctor, he pointed out. I said-

- We’re… dating ? You asked.

He was going to say something but instead, he stared at you with his mouth slightly open and a confused expression on his face. That was new. In the three months you’d been seeing each other, you had never left him speechless, except during sex. You had connected via work. You were a successful entrepreneur who had decided to give back to your community by helping the young women of Detroit through your foundation and had met him at a Charity event sponsored by his very own Marshall Mathers Foundation. You had immediately clicked and had spent the evening glued to each other, talking all this charity and your shared love of Detroit. You had been inseparable ever since and, to be fair, you hadn’t spent a lot of nights apart since you met, but you didn’t really consider that dating. Not that you’d be against it, of course. Marshall was definitely a catch and anyone would be lucky to be his girlfriend, but the notion that he would be willing to date you seemed ridiculous in your eyes. There was attraction and chemistry - that was painfully obvious - but you knew that men like him wouldn’t date women like you. You had been used to this your whole life : men would flirt with you, be willing to fuck you, see you in private, but wouldn’t consider dating you. Perks of being a curvy woman : men fantasizing about your body while being too ashamed to date you publicly. It had once been painful but you were used to it by now. You assumed Marshall was no different. He could have absolutely anyone, why would he want to date you ? You saw it as just a nice friendship and some mind-blowing sex behind closed doors but you didn’t want to get too attached and risk getting hurt. You’d been there, done that, and you were not a teenage fool anymore.

- We’re not ? He finally asked with a raised eyebrow and a sour expression.

- We never talked about it, you said.

- I didn’t think we needed to, he said as he scratched the back of his head. We sleep together nearly every night, I have toiletries in your bathroom and I know your Starbucks order by heart. What do you call that ?

- Casual sex, convenient hygiene and nice morning coffee ?

- Well that’s good to know, he scoffed as he put on his jeans.

Now he seemed pissed. He continued to get dressed in silence, searching for his clothes with his eyebrows furrowed.

- I’m sorry, you said as you got out of bed and walked to him.

- Don’t be, he said dryly. If anything, I’m sorry I assumed there was anything between us.

- No, there is, you said. I just didn’t think… I don’t know…

- What ? He sighed.

- I thought all you wanted was a good time, you shrugged. You know… as in, casually.

- I do recall specifically telling you I like you, he pointed out. And you saying it back.

- It wasn’t, like… in a friendly way ? You asked.

- For fuck’s sake, Y/N, we were both naked in your bed, he scoffed. Or should I be worried you do that with all your friends ?

- I don’t, you said as you blushed. But, you know, it’s not like we ever went on an actual date. I don’t know… I think I misread the situation. I’m sorry.

- Right, he said as he cleared his throat.

You looked at each other in an awkward silence. He put on his tee-shirt and stood close to you. His expression had turned to something hard to read and you were not sure what was on his mind.

- So… what do you think ? He asked.

- About what ? You asked carefully.

- Jesus Christ, you’re not helping me here, he sighed. About this dating thing. Is that something you’d like ? Dating me ?

- Oh, you said with a hint of surprise. Ye-yes. Of course.

- Good, he said with a hint of a smile. That saves me some embarrassment.

- What embarrassment ? You asked with a small smile.

- I might have been referring to you as my girlfriend for a while, he said almost timidly.

You opened your eyes a little wider and almost gasped. Knowing the hottest man you’d ever been with had been referring to you as his girlfriend to other people was definitely surprising to you, who had been kept a secret by so many men in the past. You tried to keep your composure, though your heart sure skipped a beat at the thought that Marshall Mathers was your boyfriend. It felt like learning you’d won the lottery three months ago but had no idea up until now.

- Would have been a shame if you’d had to go back on that statement, you said with a small smile.

- indeed, he chuckled. Imagine their faces if I told them I’d thought wrong all along. They’d make fun of me for the rest of my life and even after.

You both burst out laughing. He smiled and pulled you to him before kissing you lovingly, smiling into the kiss. You leaned into the embrace as he placed his hands on your waist, digging his fingers in your skin through the fabric of your silk nightgown.

- You’re so beautiful in the morning, he whispered. Such a vision. I don’t see that often enough.

- Because I usually stay in bed, you said as you blushed. You always wake up so early…

- Now I’m going to start to force you to get up as early as I do, he said. Because depriving me of this view is criminal. Who looks so stunning in a nightgown, seriously ? That’s ridiculous.

You felt your face turning bright red. He was always so good at telling you how attractive he thought you were and it never failed to make you blush. He kissed you again, more passionately this time.

- I have to go, he whispered. My personal trainer’s waiting for me…

- I could be your personal trainer, you said seductively. I have a little workout in mind…

- You temptress, he groaned. That’s not fair.

You giggled and grabbed his hand in an attempt to lure him back to bed. Now that you were fully awake and energized, there was no reason for you to miss an opportunity to have Marshall pleasure you.

- I really can’t, he said with a frown. See you tonight ?

- Sure, you said with a small pout.

- I’ll make it up to you, he promised.

- You better, you said with a smile.

He kissed you and went on his way, after throwing you a longing glance. You went back to bed and reached for your Satisfyer which, though it was effective, didn’t compare to Marshall.

You had a long and boring day at your office, filled with meetings with shareholders and paperwork. Your company was growing and, though you enjoyed the success and profit, it was a lot of work you didn’t enjoy. You had always thought of yourself as a creative and you weren’t the type to enjoy meetings. You took a small break, taking a much needed respite in your office when your assistant came to find you, bringing a huge bouquet of red roses.

- Nice way of asking for a raise, Natalie, you giggled.

- They’re not from me, boss, she said with a smirk.

She handed the bouquet to you and you grabbed the card that read « Be ready at eight. I’m taking you on an actual date. - Your boyfriend ❤️ ». It brought the biggest smile to your face and you forgot your assistant’s presence for a second.

- Investor trying to woo you ? She asked.

- My boyfriend, you hummed with a smile.

- I… didn’t know you had a boyfriend, she said with a smile. That’s new.

- I’m as surprised as you are, you said with an enigmatic voice.

You felt like a schoolgirl who had a boyfriend for the first time, butterflies in your stomach. Somehow, this renewed your motivation and you went on with your day. You went home and prepared for your date. At 8:00 sharp, you heard a knock on the door and you were greeted by your smiling boyfriend. He took you to dinner in a nice restaurant, and you got to enjoy a nice meal in a private room. It was technically your first date but it was all effortless. You were talking, fingers intertwined.

- Oh by the way, I have something for you, he said as he reached in his pocket.

- What is it ? You asked.

- The invite for the event I told you about this morning, he replied with a smile. There’s a dress code and stuff. I thought you might want to have the information.

- Thanks, you said as you grabbed the paper.

From the looks of it, it was set to be quite the event. Very exclusive, gathering philanthropists… and extremely classy as well. It was black tie, with mandatory tuxedos for men and floor-length gown for women, with a theme as well. According to the invite, there was to be a cultural performance as well as a silent auction, benefitting a Detroit arts institute.

- That’s… something, you said.

- I know you’re just starting out with your foundation, but I think you might meet a lot of like-minded people, he said. In a few months since starting it, you’ve done a great job and I’m sure people would like to contribute. You might also gain publicity.

- There’s going to be press ? You asked nervously.

- Just for the red carpet, he shrugged. But it’s only a couple of photographers, there’s not going to be tons of people either. It’s rather quiet, actually. Focusing on the good deeds instead of the publicity. That’s what’s nice about it. Otherwise, I would just write a check, send Paul and skip the whole thing.

- Ok, you said quietly. Good to know.

- Is there something wrong ? He asked.

- No, no, you said.

- Liar, he said with a grin. What’s wrong, beautiful ?

- Don’t you think it would be more… practical for you to take your assistant ? You asked.

- I could take her, he admitted. But I’d rather take you.

- Ok, you said with a shy smile.

- I know you’re the quiet type, he said as he stroked your hand. It’s just opera, dinner, a silent auction, and it’s for a good cause. Don’t sweat it.

- I… I don’t have a dress, though, you said. To fit the theme.

- Looks like you’re gonna have to shop, he chuckled. And I know it’s not a problem for you. I mean… I’ve seen your closet.

You smiled and agreed to look into it. You put the invite in your bag and went back to enjoying Marshall’s company. After dinner, you went back to your place. You joked about making him wait until the fifth date to « seal the deal » but he reminded you that the it had, indeed, been sealed on the very first night you met. And if the reminder wasn’t enough, his lips against yours and the promise to make you see stars convinced you to let him take you to bed.

In the following days, you were in a state of bliss. In actuality, much didn’t change. You still got to wake up next to Marshall, still shared your nights with him and exchanged sweet texts during the day, as it had been the case ever since you had first met, but it felt different. If you were being honest, you still had trouble believing that this man wanted to date you. You felt like the luckiest woman on earth. However, your good mood was soon ruined by your search of the perfect dress to wear to the event. Not only was it sort of short notice but you also had to face another obstacle : it was a glamorous event and a lot of high fashion brands didn’t cater to « your size ». Money wasn’t a problem but it wasn’t even the issue here : there was no way you could find something to wear, that would quit the theme, be elegant enough and be flattering. Even Natalie, your assistant who was usually able to make magic happen, didn’t manage to find a solution to your problem. You could already see the disaster happen : you’d be the worst dressed person there, and everyone would see how terrible of a match you were for Marshall, who everyone deemed as the most eligible bachelor in Detroit. You knew it was probably stupid to have a meltdown over an outfit but you were brought back to your younger days, when everyone would make fun of your weight and you were told that no one would ever date you. There you were now, a successful entrepreneur, feeling worthless in spite of your many accomplishments. As usual, Marshall joined you in the evening but you failed to put on a happy face and he seemed to pick on it right away.

- What’s up ? He asked.

- Nothing, you mumbled evasively.

- I think I found your one and only flaw, he chuckled. You’re a terrible liar. Tell me what’s wrong. Maybe I can help.

- I doubt you can, you sighed. I just… it’s stupid.

- Is that about the new investors you told me about ? He asked.

- No, you said. It’s about… whatever.

It was so silly, so childish that you were ashamed of telling him that you were feeling self-conscious. You were used to putting on your best foot forward and, most of the time, you felt empowered as a plus size woman. But even the strongest women have their moments of weakness and you were no exception. You looked down, hoping he would drop the subject. Bit much to your dismay, he did not.

- Tell me, he said as he cupped your cheek.

- It’s about the charity thing, you admitted with a sigh.

- What about it ? He asked.

- I can’t find a dress, you explained. I’ve been searching high and low and I can’t find anything. It’ll be a total embarrassment, I can already see it.

- That’s it ? He asked with a smile. You’re just worried about a dress ?

- Whatever, you groaned. I don’t expect you to get it. I just… look, just take someone else. It’ll be better for everyone.

- You’re going to pass on an opportunity to meet people for your foundation and do good because you can’t find a dress you like ? He asked with a frown. That’s… unlike you.

- I’m going to pass on an opportunity to embarrass us both, you snapped. You don’t want to take me. I’d feel like a charity case anyway.

He took your hand and you both sat on the sofa. You were avoiding his gaze. You couldn’t stand to feel his eyes on you. All you wanted was to disappear.

- why is that ? He asked

- Come on, you scoffed. We don’t need to address the elephant in the room.

- What elephant ? He asked again with a confused expression.

- Me ! You almost cried. I-I’m the elephant. Both literally and figuratively. Have you seen me ?

- I have, he said calmly.

- So you see what I’m getting at, don’t you ? You asked with tears in your eyes. Do you really want to take this to that event ?

You gestured at your body. The very one you tried to love but often ended up despising. The one you had been living it for years, that was both your friend and your worst enemy. Tears started streaming down your cheeks and you cried in frustration. Of course you’d never be good enough for him. You were not enough and too much at the same time. Not enough because he was himself, the successful Detroit prodigy, most attractive man on earth in the eyes of many. Too much because there was literally too much of you and your body.

- Of course I want to take you, he said as he squeezed your hand. Why wouldn’t I ?

- Because… you’re you and I’m me ! And people are going to look at us and laugh.

- Why would they laugh ? He asked. Your name is on everyone’s lips in town these days. Everyone constantly talks about your successful company, your amazing charity. There’s nothing to laugh at.

- And no matter how successful I am, I’m always going to be the fat girl, you said. And you’re always going to be Eminem. I have seen the woman you’ve been linked to over the years. They’re gorgeous.

- So are you, he scoffed.

- Come on, you sighed.

- I mean it, Y/N, he said. You are beautiful. I’m proud you agreed to be my date to this thing.

- Really ? You asked.

- Are you kidding me ? Of course I am ! You’re incredible. You’re smart, you’re successful, you’re funny as hell, and you are absolutely stunning.

- No I’m not, you scoffed.

Him calling you stunning seemed absolutely ridiculous and out of place. For God’s sake, he had dated Mariah Carey, as well as countless actresses and models. You couldn’t compete with any of them. He looked at you with an annoyed look and got up before taking your hand and leading you to your bedroom. You both stood in front of the mirror.

- Here, he said softly. Look. What do you see ?

- Marshall, you sighed. I-

- Just answer, he encouraged you. What do you see ?

- You, you replied. You and me.

- I like that sight, he said with a smile. I think we look good together.

- Because you look good, you pointed out.

- Alright, he chuckled as he stepped aside. What do you see now ?

- Me, you groaned.

- And what’s wrong with you ? He asked.

- Everything, you sighed. I’m fat. I’m huge. There’s too much of me. And yet… I’m not enough. Do you want to know why I was surprised the other day ? When you said we were dating ? Because the idea that someone like you might want to date someone who looks like me is ridiculous !

- I like beautiful women, he shrugged. You’re beautiful. You think there’s too much of you ? I can’t get enough. I’ve spend the last three months trying and I just can’t. If anything, I wish there was more.

- You know what I mean, you sighed.

He shook his head and placed himself behind you, hugging you as your back was against his chest. He was looking at you lovingly, adoringly. He took your hand in his and, with the others, he traced your features.

- I love your hair, he whispered in your ear. And your face. You have such a beautiful face-

- The face isn’t the pr-

- Shut up, woman, he said as he pressed a finger to your lips. I’m not done. Your face is amazing. Your eyes, your lips… even your cheeks are adorable. And then, there’s your neck, your shoulders, your breasts… have I told you how much I love them yet ? So beautiful, so generous…

He ran his fingers on your face, your neck and gently cupped your amble bosom, teasing your nipples through your top and bra. Your boobs were so big that his hands could barely contain them but he didn’t seem to mind it one bit. His touch was making you shiver, as well as his soft voice in your ear.

- how can you seriously think there too much of this ? He teased.

- How about the rest ? You mumbled. Definitely too much…

- The rest ? You mean your stomach ? Your hips ? He asked with a smile. I’m fucking obsessed. Your skin is so soft. I fucking love touching you there.

You hummed, biting your lip and shaking your head disapprovingly. He scoffed and made you remove your top, leaving you in your jeans and bra. He gently ran his hands on your stomach, stroking the soft skin that was there, tracing the outline of your waist, digging his fingers in your hips.

- I could do this all day, he whispered. Just touching you, your skin, your curves.

Your gaze met his in the mirror and you were almost bothered by the sheer honesty. You could tell he meant it, every word. His eyes were shining with admiration, adoration even. His hands traveled to your butt, giving it a playful squeeze.

- I could lie and say the jeans make your butt look great but I’ve seen you naked, I know it looks even better without, he whispered.

He buried his face in your neck and unbuttoned your jeans before making them slide of legs. You were left in your underwear and all you could see was the cellulite and stretch marks, the excess of skin. He kept on stroking your skin, whispering sweet words in your ear, saying how he loved your curves, your plushy thighs.

- I wish you would see what I see, he said softly. Then you’d understand how proud I am to be dating you.

- I hate myself, you whispered.

- I guess I can love you for the both of us, he whispered.

You blushed and turned to face him and, before you could say anything, he captured your lips in a passionate, hungry kiss. He bit your lip, causing you to grunt before grabbing your hand and leading you to the en suite bathroom next to your bedroom. You faced another mirror and, before you knew it, he was kneeling in front of you, kissing every inch of your skin, your stomach, your thighs, your hips. You were putty in his hands and opposed no resistance when he made you remove your lingerie, leaving you naked, before going down on you. You were standing up and he was kneeling between your legs, getting to work, worshipping you. He was holding you firmly while his tongue explored your folds, his hands digging in your skin. You were trying to keep your balance, one leg on his shoulder while he was eating you out, like a man who hasn’t had a meal in days and you couldn’t contain your moans. His tongue was soft against your clit while his fingers were teasing your entrance. You held his head against you, begging him to keep going, which didn’t fail to amuse him. He let out a throaty laugh that sent vibrations against your pussy. He inserted two fingers, finding the right angle right away, teasing your g-spot and making you slur a few obscenities. Right when you warned him you were about to come, he stopped and looked.

- Wh-what are you doing ?! You panted. Please, keep going !

- I’m not done with you, yet, he chuckled.

He stood up and kissed you passionately, pulling you close enough so that you’d feel how hard he was, whispering something about how fucking hot and desirable you were. Then, he quickly removed his clothes before having you bend over the counter and taking you from behind.

- Look at you, he directed as he coaxed your face in front of the mirror. So beautiful, taking me so well.

You were faced with your reflection, messy hair and looking flustered, pleasure and excitement giving your face an undeniable glow. You could also see Marshall’s face, twisting in pleasure. Your gazes met in the mirror and he gave you a smirk. He picked up the pace and, next thing you knew, you were crying tears of pleasure, having your first orgasm of many that night. In the final round, the two of you collapsed in bed. Your face was buried against his chest, you were both panting and gasping for air. You were so fucked out that you had trouble forming coherent thoughts but you were feeling fantastic nonetheless.

- It’s crazy, he chuckled after a few minutes.

- What ? You mumbled.

- You’re the sexiest woman on earth and you have no idea, he said before pressing a kiss to your temple. I’m crazy about you. All of you ?

- Are you ? You asked with a yawn.

- I am, he nodded. You know, you could ask anyone in my circle, and they’d tell you I usually don’t fall that hard for anyone. But you… You’re so incredibly beautiful, inside and out. You draw me in. And I’m falling harder for you each day.

You looked at him and squeed before pressing your lips to his. He pulled you closer to him and you closed your eyes, basking in the feeling of his adoration for you. The next day, you had a surprise phone call with a stylist from LA. Apparently, Marshall had missioned them to find the perfect dress for you and they happened to have access to an archive evening gown that fit the theme, previously worn by a gorgeous actress who was your size for the premiere of a movie. The dress was flown in from California and, on the night of the event, you were feeling like a princess. When Marshall picked you up, looking dapper in a tux, he was all smiles, looking at you with excitement.

- Wow, he simply said as he took your hand. You are… wow.

- Thanks to you, you giggled.

- I’m so fucking lucky, he whispered.

- I am, you assured him.

He held your hand during the ride to the event and, as you got ready to step out of the car, you started getting nervous. Glamorous charity events were nothing new and, most of the time, you did well, but you were still wary of other people’s gaze. Marshall seemed to pick on it and brought your hand to his lips.

- How about we skip the red carpet ? You offered.

- Relax, he said with a reassuring smile. You’ve got this. And I’ve got you.

He grabbed your hand and you exited the car. Thankfully, as he had promised, there wasn’t too much press, just a couple of local reporters and photographers. The two of you quietly walked the red carpet hand in hand and you smiled for pictures. You were reaching the end when you stumbled and almost lost your balance. Thankfully, Marshall caught you at the right time and you ended up in an unlikely dip pose, only for the photographers to snap pictures. For a second as he caught you, you lost your gaze in his baby blue eyes. He didn’t smile a lot - not publicly at least - but his eyes sparkled with amusement and you couldn’t help but laugh. Once your balance was restored, he secured a hand on your waist, holding you tight. One could argue it was to make sure you didn’t trip again, though he was holding you like he had just won an award. He stayed glued to your side all evening and, even as people spoke to either one of you, he didn’t break contact. All in all, you had a lovely time, meeting like-minded people, enjoying the opera and dinner. But the thing you enjoyed the most was Marshall’s hand in yours, the way he proudly introduced you as his lady.

When you got home that night, eager to remove your high heels, you met your reflection in the mirror located in the living room. You enjoyed looking and feeling beautiful one last time. As Marshall saw you looking in the mirror. He kept on gazing at you as if you were the world’s 8th wonder.

- Feeling yourself ? He asked with a smirk.

- Maybe a little, you admitted. Thank you for helping me feel beautiful tonight. I enjoyed it.

He hummed and helped you undo the zipper of the dress before you disappeared in your closet, putting on something comfier. When you reappeared, wearing silk pajamas, he was already in bed, only wearing his boxers. As soon as he saw you, he smiled.

- There it is, you giggled softly. Princess moment is over ! Not too disappointed ?

- Are you kidding me ? He asked as he pullled you in for an embrace. You’re even more beautiful in these than in the dress.

- Right, you scoffed with a headshake.

- No, really, he shrugged. You’re gorgeous in an evening dress but you in your pajamas… that’s the version of you I’m in love with.

Your heart missed a beat and, for a second, you could have sworn the world had stopped turning.

- You… you’re in love with me ?! You asked in shock.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #recovery fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine

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lunastrophe · 9 months ago

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Oh, and I had questions, likely unrelated to each other.

1) How do you think transgender Drow are viewed in their society (both transmen and trans women)?

2) Are there any other education paths available to noble women besides priestess/paladin?

These are very interesting questions! I will try to answer, making references both to Lolth-sworn drow culture and to drow societies that do not follow Lolth - because of some fundamental differences between them.

🕷️ Foundations of a Lolth-sworn drow society are heavily woven around male-female axis: drow who is born as a male will be raised as a male and expected to identify as one; drow who is born as a female will be raised as a female and expected to identify as one.

As far as I know, a typical Lolth-sworn drow culture does not really offer a person other options - and does not even allow them.

🕷️ Male-to-female transition (social, legal or physical) would probably be seen as an unthinkable sacrilege: an unworthy jaluk (male) trying to usurp the female's power and higher station. Female-to-male transition, on the other hand, could be perceived as a sacrilege of even worse kind - since it would be connected not to elevating, but to drastically lowering one's social status. For a typical Lolth-sworn drow, ambitious and constantly focused on "climbing the ladder", the very idea would be hard to understand.

In a Lolth-sworn drow society, a drow longing for transition of any kind would likely end up being punished, sacrificed or simply killed after being revealed. The same probably goes for drow who would be discovered using magic or magical items that alter their body and make it look like the one of the opposite sex.

The safest option would probably be to escape and start a new life away from Lolth's influence.

🕷️ Fel'rekt Lafeen is an example of a young male drow who was born female. We do not know much about his background, though - only that he was not happy with the treatment of males in his society (Lolth-sworn, most likely), so he decided to join Bregan D'aerthe and later became one of Jarlaxle's most loyal lieutenants operating in Waterdeep. He is mentioned in Waterdeep - Dragon Heist (5e).

🕷️ Corellon's blessing - according to Mordenkainen's Tome of Foes (5e), some elves blessed by Corellon can assume whatever sex they like and this rare ability can sometimes also manifest among drow:

Dark elves find this ability to be terrifying and characterize it as a curse, for it could destabilize their entire society. If Corellon's blessing manifests in a drow, that elf usually flees to the surface world to seek shelter among those dedicated to Corellon.

🕷️ I imagine that in societies that do not follow Lolth - but Eilistraee, for example, or Vhaeraun, or Ghaunadaur - transgender drow need not fear persecution and are treated as equals.

In fact, Vhaeraunan societies often lean towards patriarchy and they oppose Lolth and everything she represents - so I suppose that among followers of Vhaeraun, especially female-to-male transition might be celebrated in some way. It might be perceived as a big f-you to Lolth, especially when concerning a former Lolth-sworn.

🕷️ Professions For Noble Females - in a Lolth-sworn drow society, noble females are typically priestesses.

There are rare cases of female drow wizards of noble houses, but a noble female practicing arcane magic instead of divine one is generally seen as an oddity. In Menzoberranzan, there was a whole noble house once that produced female wizards of considerable power (House Shobalar), but it was ultimately destroyed - as a punishment for teaching their females arcane magic instead of one given by Lolth.

Liriel, daughter of Gromph Baenre, was exceptionally skilled in arcane magic, but still, she was forced to enroll into Arach-Tinilith (academy for priestesses of Lolth).

In House Oblodra, some noble Lolth-sworn females were priestesses and psions, like Matron Mother K'yorl Odran - but in the end, this house was destroyed too.

Matron Mez'Barris Armgo of House Barrison del'Armgo loved battle and she was a formidable warrior... but still, she was also a priestess.

🕷️ So generally, in a Lolth-sworn drow society, the best (and the safest) option for a noble drow female is to finish her obligatory training as a priestess - and then pursue some other career, in addition.

🕷️ In drow societies that do not follow Lolth, no restrictions of such kind apply, most likely.

Among followers of Vhaeraun, almost entire clergy consists of male drow, so noble females are likely encouraged to choose a different career path.

Hope you will find this information useful in some way 🙂

#drow #drow lore #dnd lore #lolth sworn drow #drow culture #dark elves #seldarine drow

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natalyarose · 8 months ago

Text

𝓚𝓾𝓻𝓽 𝓒𝓸𝓫𝓪𝓲𝓷 - 𝐵𝒾𝓇𝓉𝒽 𝒞𝒽𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒜𝓃𝒶𝓁𝓎𝓈𝒾𝓈

warning: very, very long lol

I wanted to create an in depth chart analysis on someone, and it had to be someone famous whose life I knew well. I honestly don't keep up with celebrities much, but the obvious answer to me was Kurt. When I was an angsty, hurting, misunderstood young teenager, he had my whole heart. I came from a very 'pristine' upperclass neighbourhood, yet my home life was a battle ground. In my childhood, I didn't meet a lot of people like me who were also hurting or have been to dark places (or at least, nobody would talk about it), so someone as raw as Kurt & a sound as unapologetic as Nirvana was like an oasis, I felt love. I sort of grew out of the 'obsession' with him as a person, but I still remember the way Nirvana and Kurt's imprint on this Earth made me feel. I was utterly intoxicated. The music, the poetry, the eyes, the passion, the pain of an outcast, the sarcasm, the anger at injustice... magic.

So without further ado, let's delve into Kurt's chart. I'm going to try to talk about the key things I notice. I'll be applying Ernst Wilhelm's Dhruva Galactic Center Ayanamsa (on Astroseek, Galactic Center mid-mula).

Moon in Punarvasu

Let's start with the Moon, typically considered the most intimately personal planet in Vedic Astrology. It actually takes some adjusting for me to see Kurt as a Punarvasu Moon since in Lahiri he is Ardra and I think he's sort've become a 'poster child' for the moody, edgy, destructive nature of Ardra. Even I used him as a prime example of Ardra in a video a few years ago... but I realise now it makes perfect sense. He is still very Rahuvian, which I'll further explain in a bit.

First of all, we're looking at the Sidereal Gemini section of Punarvasu-a brilliant mind, comedic, a writer, a communicator, and as we know a musician. I see Punarvasu's Jupiterian nature in his kindness, gentleness and intense loyalty to his values when it comes to protecting & advocating for the innocent. Kurt was very protective of women and children and despite his 'rockstar' image, was humble and always seeking to use Nirvana's music to advocate for social change. I know this behaviour can be seen as Rahuvian in nature, but I actually think this perception comes from misunderstandings from the Ayanamsa issue. Rahuvians can absolutely take an interest in social/political protest, but often Rahu natives prefer to 'play the game' and find purity and order in the chaos & illusions rather than actively push for expansion (Jupiter) and change.

As seen through various forms of literature & media documenting his life, Kurt had a tendency to look out for & befriend underdogs- a common trait of Jupiterians.

Another thing to note is that Jupiter rules sound. A strong Jupiterian placement gives an extremely powerful sonic presence. Kurt was an amazingly versatile singer, his ability to alternate between soft, melodic vocals & raspy, fierce, powerhouse metal-esque vocals was- is, phenomenal. The emotion and meaning conveyed in his voice is felt vibrantly even when the lyrics are muffled (famously, Nirvana lyrics are hard to understand lol).

The gentle nature of Kurt's Punarvasu Moon really shines through in these photos I love. Not to mention, Punarvasu being the Cat yoni! Kurt adored his cats. He also adored his daughter, in the sadly, short time he spent with her, in interviews and photos taken around the time we get a glimpse of his love and tenderness.

Physically, yes, Kurt has very Rahuvian gorgeous eyes, the 'scruffy' look that's typical of Rahu men, etc. - but look at his chin! Jupiterian natives are easily identified by their prominent chins (Jupiter connecting to the voice places an emphasis on the chin/throat area). Not to mention his hair- Cat yoni Nakshatras often give very sleek, smooth hair like a kitty cat. I know a few Punarvasu men with that kind of hair.

Punarvasu Nakshatra is often connected to imagery of angels. A lot of famous photos of Kurt depict Angel-esque wings in the background. Nirvana's album 'In Utero', depicts the figure of a woman with angelic wings. I see the Punarvasu angelic effect in the way I often see people remarking that Kurt was 'too pure for this world'.

One more distinctly Punarvasu theme I want to mention - Punarvasu's mythology is all about second chances, 'trying again'. Before Nirvana, Kurt started a band called 'Fecal Matter' (lol, wonderful). The band fell apart, but then came Nirvana. It is said that Punarvasu natives always get a 'second chance' or that things come in twos.

tw//

Another much sadder manifestation of this theme: As talked about in 'Kurt Cobain: Montage of Heck', as a teenager Kurt Cobain attempted suicide. He heard a train was coming then went and lay on the tracks. It turned out that the train went on the other track. I guess you could say he got a 'second chance' in a way.

As we know, his life ended through suicide :(

Kurt's Punarvasu Moon sits in his 10th house, considered the house of career, the public eye and ambition. This makes perfect sense and is a very common placement to see in celebrities. With Moon in the 10th house, the emotions and internal nature are on display to the public in some way, which is true for Kurt. The native is radiant and marvelled at in their vulnerability of spirit- the 10th house and MC can be seen as the sky, and when Moon is in the 10th, everyone is looking up at you, enchanted.

His Moon is quite close to Jupiter. Most people would say it's too far to be a conjunction and technically it is, but I have a very open mind when it comes to aspects- especially aspects to the Moon! The faster changing the planet, the more sensitive it is to surrounding planets. I would argue that the Moon can feel influenced by planets close to a whole sign away (I'll have to make a seperate post on this at some point).

Anyway, Jupiter being close to Kurt Cobain's Moon only enhances his Jupiterian qualities. Jupiter on (or near to) the Moon can amplify the intensity of a person's emotions and internal convictions.

Jupiter also relates to spirituality - Kurt explored different religious structures (Christianity, Buddhism, etc.) at various points of his life, which makes makes sense considering his Jupiter ('Guru', spirituality, faith) is in Pushya, a Saturnian (restriction, structure) Nakshatra. Pushya is also known to be the 'birth of sadness' amongst the Nakshatras.

Ascendant in Uttaraphalguni (conjunct Pluto & Uranus)

Of course, in traditional Vedic Astrology the outer planets aren't used, but I incorporate them; especially when they're this prominent in their positioning- Kurt has both Pluto & Uranus very closely conjunct his ascendant, Uranus & ASC forming a 0° orb. While amazing, it is very typical to see this or similar astrological placements in the charts of people who've had a major impact in this world! While the inner planets are more personal, the outer, slower moving planets speak of the masses. Outer planets are generational, showing their influence in major trends and global events.

Kurt having these outer planets so close to his Ascendant speaks to how powerfully influential he has been on our world. He's inspired not one, but now many generations of youth with his image, his legacy.

It is not uncommon for people with Pluto on the Ascendant to become famous for their death which rings true for Kurt. A lot of people who may know not much else about him or Nirvana, know of his death and the tragedy surrounding it. Pluto gives him a natural intensity.

Uranus on the Ascendant speaks to a person who is eccentric, erratic or somehow unusual. 'Alien-like'. Kurt is often praised for his unique, unconventional mind and approach to his artistry. The first house being intimately related to how a person dresses & represents physically, Kurt dressed in many controversial ways, often to make a statement on political issues (wearing dresses for example).

It is no wonder Kurt's ascendant is in Uttaraphalguni, a Sun ruled Nakshatra. Sun ruled Nakshatras are radiant and tend to make natural leaders. He was of course, the frontman or the 'face' of Nirvana. Uttaraphalguni tends to be very good natured, but no-nonsense. Especially in the Virgo section. Uttaraphalguni natives are often kind in my experience, but have little tolerance for lack of efficiency which is true of Kurt, who held his bandmates to a strong standard. This Solar objectivity of knowing what's up to standard and what misses the mark is likely a big reason for Nirvana's huge success! Kurt was known to be somewhat ruthless or at least, very particular in how he wanted things to go in the band. (also a trait we see in Venusian Nakshatras; Kurt having Rahu in Bharani).

Sun Nakshatras tend to bless their natives with a natural sense of ease and comfort. The unapologetic authenticity Sun Nakshatras radiate means it's not uncommon to see these people as pioneers in whatever their field is. Nirvana was a huge catalyst and made a name for themselves in the genre of 'grunge', but Nirvana continues to inspire all kinds of artists to this day.

Kurt having his ascendant in Uttaraphalguni made him a naturally magnetic person to women and men alike. People are extremely drawn to the warmth, loyalty and genuine nature of Solar natives.

Authenticity was a value held in extremely high esteem for Kurt. It was typical for him to do things like, playing songs Nirvana was told they couldn't play, just for the principle of it. While I mention Kurt's exploration of religion earlier, Kurt rejected the Catholic concept of God very strongly. He despised what he saw to be unfounded control over others' being, creativity & sexuality.

Sun Nakshatras are self made: they lead, others' follow/take inspiration.

A very good friend of mine showed me that people with strong Solar influence in their charts photograph very well in black and white because of their energetic radiance (they shine so brightly, they don't need colour to stand out). It also can be attributed to the fact that Sun Nakshatras tend to give strong and sometimes sharp & chiseled features. Another interesting thing is it's not uncommon to see Sun people with natural golden yellow-y streaks through their hair, which is true of Kurt Cobain.

Sun in Shatabisha

Shatabisha is the all seeing eye. It is the Nakshatra pertaining to secrets & the collective unconscious. Shatabisha natives are very tapped into the minds and emotions of the collective. They can be natural born mystics, very hyper aware of 'behind the scenes' or 'under the surface' societal themes.

A lot of Shatabisha natives are extremely cognizant of social & political issues. While I believe it is moreso Jupiter Nakshatras that take on that strong drive to actively make noise and make a change, Rahu is the observer, Rahu sees what is the issue. Hence Shatabisha translating to '100 healers'. Rahuvians will often dress or behave in unusual or eccentric ways, as if to show the world they cannot and will not be placed into a box of any kind. I mentioned earlier Kurt dressing and portraying himself controversially in ways such as wearing dresses, very aligned with Rahuvian nature.

Rahu/Shatabisha's sensitivity and attraction to altered states of perception (the all seeing eye wants to see the world from many angles) means that there is often a natural inclination to explore substances. A lot of Shatabisha natives I've met in real life engage in some form of escapism be it through gaming, drugs, or even sugary foods & energy drinks that give that hit. This is especially the case for Rahu influenced men rather than women, because the slightly more feminine nature of Rahu can feel less natural to men. They may feel they have a harder time dealing with the challenges/expectations related to being a man in society when they are influenced by such a flowy & feminine force. They feel themselves being the observer rather than the 'do-er' and it can cause self-esteem struggles. However, Kurt's other placements (namely, Jupiter & Solar influence especially) helped to give him a natural ability to be more hands on in life.

Of course famously & tragically, Kurt got lost in his addictions and his mental health deteriorated. I'm sure we can't blame the entire tragedy on Shatabisha energies and there's more in his chart we could look into to understand why/how this came to be, but looking broadly at patterns of Rahuvian men, we can understand the theme.

Shatabisha natives have the ablitiy make amazing art; the sheer vastness of their minds and Rahu's receptivity to external influences means that they have a wealth of ability to take in inspiration from others, then transform it into something unique and out of this world!

Every Shatabisha native I've met knows EVERYTHING there is to know about the artists, books, fashion, YouTubers, etc. they are interested in. They often have physical collections, and are very keenly attuned to pop culture (or just media in general). I've met a lot of Shatabisha natives who have a very specific genre/subculture they take interest in and know everything about, yet they still know everything about 'mainstream' culture too. Idk how they know so much lol, but I believe the all seeing eye effect of Shatabisha makes it easy for them to take in that information very efficiently.

We see this incredible art & knowledge of culture in Kurt, who was openly a fanatic of many other artists and referenced who and what he knows time and time again in his music.

Kurt's Shatabisha Sun is in his 6th house, meaning these energies are especially highlighted when it comes to his everyday life, day to day employment, etc. which we know is true seeing as he was a musician.

One of Kurt's first girlfriends used to be the 'breadwinner', and Kurt would stay home and paint or write music.

Also in his 6th house is Mercury in Purvabhadrapada- Mercury rules over the intellect, communication, thoughts. Kurt was known to be very moody and somewhat unpredictable. Purvabhadrapada's symbol is a man with 2 faces, so an unpredictable and dualistic quality can be see in the way he expresses himself. Mental health struggles can definitely be seen with this placement. Being the height of Jupiter, we also see a more aggressive form of Jupiterian challenging of limitations & societal expectations in Purvabhadrapada, which we do see with Kurt.

Uttarabhadrapada 7th House Stellium

Kurt Cobain has Venus, Saturn & Chiron in the 7th house.

The 7th house is the house of marriage, partnerships, business and other people. I learnt that the 7th house is associated with fame, as when you are famous you know a lot of people/are viewed by the people. Also, achieving fame often has more to do with connections, contracts, and partnerships than it does to do with ambition & talent alone. So it makes sense that a famous person would have a strongly lit up 7th house.

Looking at photos of Kurt, I'm noticing how Saturnian he appears- the symmetrical features, 'stern' look. That also can be attributed to him having a prominent Sun Nakshatra which gives a 'stoic' nature, but Saturn really comes through as well. He is also very Saturnian in his rulebreaking tendencies- Saturn Nakshatra men tend to have a strong internal moral code but love to break rules that they don't deem to be rules that are there for a good reason.

At 19, Kurt spray-painted 'God is Gay' and was arrested for it. He did this to irritate homophobic people, homophobia being something he stood strongly against having had a very close friend in school who was gay.

Uttarabhadrapada in particular is an extremely intense Nakshatra. It's related to sacrifice & suffering in the name of providing for the greater good, being the cow yoni (as cows provide milk). It's symbolised by the death bed. This is eerie knowing of his suicide, but beyond that I think it really fits with Kurt's views on fame. He didn't necessarily enjoy being famous or plan to become as big as Nirvana did, but in a way being that famous is sacrificial. The media milked him and his life in whatever way they could as they do with most uber famous people.

The 'suffering', Saturnian starvation and sacrificial themes in Uttarabhadrapada have a natural connection to the story of Jesus, which of course we see Kurt depicting Jesus on the cross in the Heart Shaped Box music video. A beautifully poetic song.

Venus being the planet of beauty, love, art, and femininity, means it is very important to look at in the chart of an artist, and Kurt's Uttarabhadrapada Venus being conjunct Chiron really speaks to how a lot of Nirvana & Kurt's songs speak of pain and suffering. Chiron is 'the wounded healer'- it is said that where your Chiron is can be where you have the power to help or heal others, but struggle yourself.

Of course, Kurt's 7th house Uttarabhadrapada stellium reflects his infamous relationship with his wife Courtney Love, very well. Kurt's ascendant is in sunny, jovial Uttaraphalguni, and many are of the opinion that Courtney or at least, the relationship really dragged Kurt down and wore down his psyche sadly. I don't like to speak too badly of anyone, but a lot of people see Courtney as a huge influence on Kurt's deteriorated physical and mental health. They would exasperate one another's drug issues, both struggling to stay clean even with a baby in the picture.

Courtney is really painted as a villain by many which is very Uttaraphalguni-Uttarabhadrapada axis... Uttaraphalguni is the shining Sun, Uttarabhadrapada is the dark, cold depths of the ocean... also, ice. This perception is rampant, many viewing Courtney as a manipulative 'psycho', some even theorising that Kurt's tragic death may have been a homicide of her doing.

You could even say that Courtney is the Uttarabhadrapada 'sacrificial lamb'; her own reputation taking a drastic hit so that the image of Kurt as blameless for how things ended can live on. Of course, it could be read the other way around in that Kurt was the 'sacrifice' in this relationship. Either way, these energies are present.

These photos of their wedding (famously, Kurt is in his pyjamas lol) in Hawaii are actually very Uttarabhadrapada in nature- the stormy dark weather and the ocean outside. The Sun is feint in the background- perhaps could be interpreted as symbolic of Kurt's Uttarabhadarapada 7th house (of marriage) drowning the light & joy of his Solar ascendant. Not that they had no joy together, but more that together they were headed down this dark path.

Rahu in Bharani/Ketu in Vishakha & Mars in Swati

Being a Shatabisha (Rahu ruled) Sun, Rahu in Kurt's chart becomes extremely significant being a depositor.

Rahu in Bharani is I imagine, at the root of a lot of Kurt's artistic interests. Kurt had a fascination with life & death, life in the womb, & the female anatomy, all Bharani themes. The most obvious example of this being Nirvana's album literally being called 'In Utero'. Also, there is a Nirvana song literally titled 'moist vagina' lol, a personal favourite actually (I find it so sexy & raunchy in an odd way haha)

Another thing that comes to mind is Heart Shaped Box- after Lana Del Rey (Bharani Venus & Rahu) covered it, Courtney Love revealed that the song was about her vagina lol...

Ketu in Vishakha can speak to obsession and drive, Vishakha being 'the Star of Purpose'. This is an extremely strong willed and potentially very artistic placement for Ketu. Vishakha is ruled by Indra, King of the Gods & Agni, the God of fire. Indra ruled over storms and rain. Ketu in Vishakha gives way to very intense emotions and a very powerful drive to create and fulfil what gives the native that sense of purpose. For Kurt, that was his music. I'll note that this means Kurt has a Grand Trine in the three Jupiter Nakshatras -

Moon in Punarvasu, Ketu in Vishakha, Mercury in Purvabhadrapada

A grand trine in a chart can point to someone possessing a unique gift or ability that comes effortlessly to them. As mentioned earlier, Jupiter rules the voice & sound in general. Jupiter rules expansion, growth. The weakness of Jupiter comes with overindulgence, going too far into the deep end. While Saturn willingly goes into the deep end through sacrifice & limitation, Jupiter can drive itself into dark places with its sheer lack of limitation.

Mars in Swati is at first glance, a very gentle Mars as Swati is ruled by Vayu, God of the Wind. It is not an angry Nakshatra perse, but it can be extremely cutting and 'quick with words' as it is the butcher caste. Of course, Kurt was a poet at heart.

One of Swati's main mythologies (to make it short and sweet) is about a boy who impressed the Gods with his bravery and abilities, and was then blessed with powers. However, the boy was a mischievous child always causing pranks, so for his 'naughtiness' he was then cursed to forget his story & his powers. However, later down the track he was reminded of his powers and his past.

This story highlights Swati's tendency to be extremely self-doubting of their own capabilities. They have 'forgotten' their powers and need to remember. Swati natives really struggle with feeling as though they aren't 'enough' and just like the story, really need people in their life who consistently remind them of their abilities and what they're capable of.

Kurt was known to be very self-deprecating in this way, often doubting his abilities and and despising the way he looked (also something we see with Chiron conjunct Venus).

Swati also gives a playful and childlike nature, often taking an interest in dolls, cartoons and other playful novelty things which is true of Kurt.

IC in Mula, MC in Mrigashira

Lastly, I'm going to briefly talk about Kurt's IC-MC axis.

The IC represents the childhood, home life & inner/private self. Mula is the final Ketuvian Nakshatra, and translates to 'roots'. Mula's primary motivation is truth, getting to the honest root of things regardless of whether it's pretty or not.

Mula for this reason is a Nakshatra associated with destruction, because the truth will often break absolutely destroy the ground of faulty foundations in society.

As the IC, this could represent a situation where in the household, this child acted as the whistle-blower of truth and saw through the family dynamics + were outspoken about what they saw. This rings true of Kurt, he was seen as somewhat of a 'problem child' at home and was outwardly, vocally embarrassed and unhappy with the turbulent family situation.

So at Kurt's core inner self, he valued truth. He would rather an 'ugly' disturbing truth than a beautiful lie.

The MC represents a person's outer persona, the identity and values the person wishes most to present to the world. Mrigashira is the birth of Mars. Mars is the maverick, the rebel, but also the fighter.

I definitely see that society at large had this perception of Kurt that he was this martian, aggressive person in some ways; especially taking the emotion and lyrics put into him & Nirvana's music at face value.

Mrigasira Nakshatra is known for being a 'troll', and Kurt trolled the media a looot. I think of that time in Nirvana when he intentionally butchered Smells Like Teen Spirit. Or him mocking the media's constant gossip about him like in this clip '...dead, pregnant, on heroin... I'm a hermaphrodite as well!' lol.

I'm going to finish this analysis here, this ended up being very long, but I hope it was interesting for someone! It was good practice for me... it also reminded me why I don't do readings anymore lol, I love astrology but... man. This was just the icing on the cake too!

Thankyou for reading ♡

#vedic astrology #nakshatras #astrology #chart analysis #kurt cobain #sidereal astrology #astrology observations

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thenightling · 11 months ago

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Demisexual and Queer language

There's been some heated "debate" about the word demisexual and if it is necessary.

I admit there are certain words I don't really think are necessary but I sort of like the sound of, like Pansexual.

First, to be clear, Bisexual didn't originally mean "excluding nonbinary and trans." It wasn't a strict attraction to the binary. It wasn't transphobic or nonbinary-phobic. And most self-identified bisexuals, even now, do NOT heed these newly added restrictions.

Bisexual was a third option when, once upon a time, there were only two options.

Late into the 90s (and even now) there are still some gay folk who think bisexuality is a myth and you have to be attracted to one or the other, men or women, but cannot be potentially attracted to all genders / either gender.

For a lot of bisexuals the term means attraction to your own gender and all other genders. And that's what the "bi" actually means. I only like the term pansexual because of its connection to the Greek Pan.

There was even the weird stigma and notion that bisexual meant you were horny for everyone. Into the 2000s you saw this in pop culture even with beloved characters like Jack Harkness in Doctor Who and as recently as the AMC Interview with The Vampire TV show version of Lestat, where bisexual felt like code for "Horny for everything" and even physically abusive and dominating. Odd that the 90s movie depiction of Lestat felt less... negative-stereotype-y.

Anyway, for a lot of older Queer folk "bisexual" was still a new term as recently as the 90s. When David Bowie came out as bisexual in 1972 a reporter mistakenly took that to mean he had the sex organs of a man and a woman. (Source: the 1993 book "Bowie: In his own words.")

Bowie was so stigmatized by America's obsession with him being bisexual that he walked back into the closet until the mid-2000s when he came back out and admitted he had only gone back into the closet because he was sick of American reporters asking him about it. And he admitted it felt like no other country did that, just America.

And when Vincent Price's daughter found out that her father had been bisexual she ran to Roddy McDowall and confronted him by asking "Why didn't you tell me my father was bisexual?" and Roddy responded with "We didn't know the word. How can you deny something when you don't know the word?"

Based on Roddy McDowall's response about Vincent Price, there are probably a lot of older and historic Queer folk who were actually bisexual but the moment they had any same-sex attraction the title of "homosexual" was pinned to them.

Language evolves for a reason. The acceptance of the idea that someone could be attracted to more than one gender is why we have the word bisexual. Demisexual has always existed, we just didn't have a term for it. Yes, there are a lot of new terms in the LGBTQAI+ spectrum. And change can be scary. This is why a lot of folk have started to positively use the term Queer, to keep things simple while also taking back a word some used to slur-like capacity. The 1963 novel The Man who fell to Earth by Walter Tevis had a line "He walked like a queer." and in the 1970s that line was changed to "He walked like a homosexual." I half-imagine that if Walter Tevis was still alive he would acknowledge the character Nathan Bryce's internalized homophobia (the character whose internal monologue uses the description) or drop the description entirely but it is interesting to note that the original wording would be more accepted today than back in 1963 when it was first published.

#Demisexual #Bisexual #Pansexual #Queer #LGBTQAI+#LGBTQ #LGBT

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velvetvexations · 2 months ago

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This Warless Weekend...I accidentally broke the one rule of Warless Weekend sending "Maya Henry is in fact a trans woman lol" to a TERF. Sigh. Forgive me, Velvet Nation.

The post was discovered because I was once again going through radblr looking for screenshots to prove beyond the shadow of the doubt that radfems hate even cis men, let alone trans men. It's going to be a multi-day affair because I want to include so many examples that when you click "read more" it'll be like unraveling an ancient scroll that drops to the floor and rolls down several flights of stairs in a cartoon.

I've also been debating a radfem who's not...the TERFiest? Hard to classify someone who thinks private spaces should be sex-segregated for now but corrects anons who misgender me and believes radfems shouldn't be so hostile to trans women* because they're "allies of the feminist revolution." My only concern is that my (mostly AFAB trans!) followers would see me interacting with someone who has those radfemmy beliefs in a way that isn't pure hostility and be made to feel unsafe as a result. I have no illusions that his radical feminist beliefs are harmful. But am I being too nice, regardless? I've been personally convinced he sincerely holds beliefs that makes other radfems hate him, thus the anon he got misgendering me and saying he should stop talking to me because I'm a homophobe.** Sometimes good people get praxis wrong.

And TRFs will say "ooh, look at Velvet, being courteous to people who self-identify as radfems, she'd never do that for transfems she slanders as TRFs." First of all, I think a lot of non-transfems are TRFs. Secondly, I do do that for TRFs, all the fucking time! As with anyone else when they're not just horribly cruel I do actually go to extreme lengths to be polite, approaching them as a submissive doormat of a person, offering the most politely worded but in-depth critique of their bullshit you could possibly imagine. I've started several posts of such a nature with "please take this in good faith" and at least once I've DM'd someone after reblogging them to go the extra mile assuring them I'm not trying to take a swing at them.

I think talking to people is good and healthy and should be encouraged, idk. That doesn't go for someone who thinks all trans women are monsters who want to abuse Trve Wymbyn, or that all trans men are deluded victims/fetishisers of cis gay men/escaping into privilege.*** Most radfems, like outright conservatives, are 100% bugfuck evil and do not deserve anything other than mockery and scorn. But if there's a chance you might be able to connect with an intellectually and morally honest person who seems to be going for what they truly believe is best for everyone...I think you should go for it.

I desperately want to believe people when it seems like they're really honestly trying out of sincere moral impulses and are truly capable of treating others with respect rather than it being an enemy psyop. I'm trying to not let my fear of being gullible deter me from offering my hand to people when our differences might be bridgeable.

*and other trans people, plus those who are dysphoric but do not consider themselves trans

**I believe they were referring to when I said homosexuality was also an atypical arousal pattern in response to someone pointing at a basic ass furry to say trans people were ridden with paraphilias

***I just realized how diverse the "explanations" for AFAB trans people are. With how much transphobia relies on being offensive to Trve Wymbyn you have to get creative to explain why it's also bad when one of their own contracts the mind virus and it's so obviously completely incoherent

#discourse

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river-of-wine · 1 year ago

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Why do you think Arthur and Molly are so similar ?

I am SO glad you asked!

Molly is basically the human embodiment of foreshadowing in the story. Everything that Dutch ends up doing to the gang, he does to Molly first. Most of all, this treatment ends up landing on Arthur.

Dutch preys on the vulnerable, and this is apparent simply by looking at the members of his gang. Orphans he raised, marginalised people he has taken in, young women struggling to support themselves. Initially selfless acts that grow more sinister when you realise how Dutch has truly indoctrinated most of them, having them do his dirty work for him. Molly too, though her circumstances are much different, is vulnerable. She is unable to defend herself or leave camp, since she can’t use a gun and presumably, since when she runs away she does so on foot, can’t ride a horse. She is a physically weak young woman and an Irish immigrant in a country that is outwardly unkind to both facets of her identify and one that she is unfamiliar with.

Molly is incredibly devoted to Dutch, to the point where she has nothing in her life without him. Her entire existence now revolves around him, and she cannot safely leave even if she wants to. Though Dutch starts the game returning Molly’s affection, the second she starts to become unappealing to him - voicing her own opinions, speaking out against his treatment of her, doubting anything he does - he discards her like she is nothing. He is incredibly manipulative to her, with his literal gaslighting, constant berating of her emotions which he scolds her for in an uncomfortably parental way, refusing to speak to her even when she is trying to help him and, eventually, even revoking her right to be called by her first name. She hates being called by her surname, and she tells him this. It changes nothing. Now that Molly has lost her appeal in Dutch’s eyes, he hunts for a replacement. He begins to find this in Mary-Beth, a woman even younger than Molly and much more timid towards him, who doesn’t speak out against him or complain about his behaviour.

Arthur has quite literally dedicated his entire life to Dutch. Arthur was raised by him and as he says in chapter 2, nothing means more to him than the gang. Though certainly not vulnerable how you would expect, Dutch found him when he was. His existence revolves around Dutch, and now with the high bounty on his head and the people he must protect, he cannot safely leave even if he wants to. Much like we saw with Molly, Dutch starts to disregard Arthur when he begins to show doubts in his plans and his motivations. Throughout chapter 6, we watch their bond deteriorate, with Dutch even eventually abandoning the title of son for Arthur similarly to how he refuses to call Molly by her first name. Just as he did with Mary-Beth, he finds a younger, more vulnerable option to replace Arthur in Eagle Flies. In front of Arthur, he tells Eagle Flies that he never had a son, and shortly afterwards mocks Arthur’s weakness brought on by, might I remind you, his fatal illness.

For each of them, protecting the gang are hugely important acts taken by Molly and Arthur near the end of their stories. For Molly, it takes the form of her refusal to tell the law about them. We know that she was sweated multiple times, implying at the very least intense interrogation and at most outright torture. Molly had every reason to want Dutch dead, but for reasons we never get to hear from her she decides to keep the gang safe. For Arthur, we see him do his best to save everybody in the gang he possibly can. Primarily the Marstons, dying so that they can be safe.

These connections never go directly acknowledged by Molly and Arthur, but there are two very notable moments between them. First, there is Molly’s only “mission”, though it really isn’t about her. She tries to open up to Arthur before she is interrupted, telling him her worries about Dutch and asking how he seems to Arthur, if he thinks he has changed the way Molly knows he has. Changes that Arthur has not noticed, that he will not notice until it is much too late, that the gang ignored but Molly saw. Secondly, it is Arthur who prevents Dutch from shooting Molly as she confesses. She is encouraging him, asking him to shoot her, but Arthur holds him back and talks him down. He never fully believes her, voicing subtly that he doubts Molly’s lie. It was the very most he could have done for her in that minute, and with that scene marking the start of chapter 6, the very act of protecting the supposed traitor that Dutch is ready to kill is the first of many acts of defiance Arthur will make.

Lastly, there is the similarities between two of their most tragic lines. Molly’s poem repeats the phrase “I’ve nothing left, I gave you all”, being the closing line of the final stanza of her poem, one that is undoubtedly about her relationship with Dutch. Some of Arthur’s final dialogue, spoken to Dutch, is “I gave you all I had”. Though coming from much different circumstances and backgrounds, Molly and Arthur ended very much the same. Giving everything to Dutch, and being cast aside by him.

#rdr2 #molly o'shea #arthur morgan #rdr2 spoilers

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sunnist4rs · 5 months ago

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Blare White is super misogynistic… he also supports trump. You know the anti abortion, pro rape guy. I think you may be defining who you love/idolize and what you say you think based on who entertains you the most on social media/YouTube and your personal connections rather than really getting into WHY each view is right or wrong factually/ethically, and aiming to be consistent. To be clear I myself am a radfem and (within that) critical of gender ideology I am not trying to convince you to not criticize gender ideology or to not criticize specific trans identified people. Yes: some people Blaire white and that kind of guy opposes are also fucked up people who do harm. But the enemy of an enemy does not alone make a friend and I encourage you to look with a more critical eye at anyone aligned right wing and against women, whether they are novelties or famous on YouTube or whatever else or not

Among other things remember Blaire white is just a man who calls self woman but hates the other men who call themselves women. His critique of them is typically either copied (without him really understanding) from feminist women, or at other times basically rooted in him saying those other trans women are ugly or don’t pass or haven’t done [insert random shit] “Blaire” thinks makes him a real woman and these other trans women into pretenders. It’s just an egotistical man getting attention and money off of this while still claiming he’s a woman and doing so for sexist (“I pass as feminine so that makes me a woman” = sexist) reasons. This issue that is actually impacting women and girls (a category that doesn’t include him)

Thanks for sending me this ask (and being so civil about it). Before I joined the radfem community (and when I wrote my bio) I was pretty conservative but the more evidence of woman’s oppression I’ve seen, the more leftist I’ve become. This has left me feeling kind of lost because the people like Blair White who I used to turn to for comfort on bad days and to hear what I thought were reasonable political opinions no longer click with me. I don’t resonate with her (I’m gonna use she/her even though I’m he’s a dude because I do have that personal attachment right now so it just feels right) beliefs anymore but distancing myself from her feels wrong because she’s been a part of my life for a while, y’know.

I don’t watch YouTube much so I haven’t seen one of her videos since I became a radfem. But, I do remember how my old community used to act so Ik if I did watch another video of hers I’d be disgusted and disappointed by her behaviour (I almost want to avoid watching her at all so that I can keep pretending I align with her side- also I’m aware this is pretty parasocial, I’ll work on that). While I’ve become more aware of this I’ve continued to defend and preach how good her content is as a way of pretending I do still like her to myself. I knew I was doing this but I didn’t really think about it until now.

I’m pretty good at thinking critically about the media I consume, it’s just something I’ve always done when discovering something new to enjoy. But I think Ive developed a blind spot for people I previously loved as while I agreed with them in the past. Now however, me promoting their ideology is hypocritical at best. I’ve been practicing separatism (that’s not the word I want to use Ik it) more and more in my daily life. I now realise the next step I need to take is starting to distance myself from these people as they’re making me into someone I don’t want to be (hypocrites are one of my biggest red flags).

Thanks again for the ask as it’s genuinely helped me uncover a therapeutic break through lol. Whether or not that was your intent it’s definitely gonna help me be a better feminist and improve my life so thanks.

#sunni answers #radical feminism #radblr #radical feminist safe #terfblr #terfsafe #radical feminists do interact #radical feminst #trans exclusionary radical feminist #trans exclusionary radical feminism #radical feminist theory #radical feminist #radical feminist community #blaire white #blair white #trans logic #radical feminists do touch

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abyssalzones · 8 months ago

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I would love to hear more abt your college pre-egg-breaking fiddauthor thoughts if you'd be open to it

oh BOY would I

so when I think about college fiddauthor nowadays I mainly think about both my own experiences with ~navigating identity~ and how I would approach a gay FTM relationship from a semi-realistic 1970's angle, where you start to see a lot of what you'd call "milestones" I guess in LGBT history and public awareness. wait okay here's something I said to mer that can set a precedent for what I'm talking about

when it comes to me and my own journey of self discovery irt sexuality and transness, I feel like those two things are very intertwined, because the concept of identity in my eyes is very socially motivated. I've previously identified as a nonbinary lesbian and a transgender gay man respectively before getting to the point I'm at now, and don't feel like either of those things were incorrect necessarily, just how I felt at the time (and what I wanted out of a relationship, really). I think I literally got an ask ages ago questioning how I went from one to the other but Idk I don't think the gender journey is as simple or "logical" as people coming from a hetero-patriarchal perspective (that's a mouthful) seem to think.

and, And, from a Historical perspective, FTM experiences and butch lesbian experiences have Always been very intertwined, especially back in the early 70's when more people were starting to have some awareness (even in LGBT spaces) of this thing known as the Transgender Lifestyle. I'm flattening things quite a bit here and I know for a fact there's a lot of variation between experiences, especially depending on your social circles, but from what I can glean a lot of the time transgender men weren't very well known and so a lot of the time you would just ID as a butch lesbian and/or present as a man socially, sometimes for safety reasons. and there's a lot of overlap there too that continues into contemporary transmasc spaces today :]

historical justification aside I basically think college would be a major turning point for self-discovery in both of their lives, but more-so for fiddleford than ford? I've always assumed based on everything we've seen that fidds was basically the only friend ford had in college, which definitely would have influenced him in important ways, but other than that I think he invested most of his time in studying and developments in gender were an afterthought. ford's FTM identity starts from a place of "failing to be a woman" and then develops with his pride in being a huge weirdo. in my mind that can only really happen once he's in gravity falls and has basically sacrificed his connections with other people/the world to live as his truest self, whether that's researching anomalies or living as a man.

fiddleford, however, I always think of from the perspective of someone bucking to societal expectations for safety reasons. this is because of a lot of things: ford's possible feelings of abandonment in favor of Normalcy (who can forget "Go back to your doting family and a life of fear and compromise!"), his jumping into a nuclear family immediately out of college, But also packing up and driving to oregon in a matter of days after ford asks for his help... when he has a kid who could be no older than 5 or 6 at home...? I sort of see his presentation as a foil to ford's, trying to mimic cishetero ("hetero") normalcy vs. being the Lone Transsexual Freak. I've gotten horribly off topic from the college thing hang on

basically I imagine them in their uni days like two weird butch gay women that are just, totally socially unapproachable. fiddleford is the more outgoing of the two as he's been voted "most likely to actually have other friends" in my mind, so if anyone was going to gay & lesbian student association meetings it would've been him, but otherwise ford is too busy ignoring his feelings. "I don't care if I'm a man or a woman I'm too busy studying. go away." but of course they find enough solace in eachother's company and their different-but-distinctly-similar weirdness that it forms an unbreakable transgender bond. freak4freak if you will. fidds settles on a bisexual identity without thinking about it too hard because honestly the conclusion here is that it doesn't matter if his roommate is a woman or a man he just knows he needs to do terrible things to him over d&d&md (sorry) (not really that sorry though.)

it's actually funny you bring this up because I'd been workshopping a short comic set in their college era that touches on this stuff a lot. not sure when that will ever get done but I can tell you it's. uhm

yeah they're kind of weird.

#lab notes #askbox #less well-formed thoughts than usual since I did a lot of driving today #but hey..... the thoughts are very authentic at least #lab discussion

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toxicroyjamie · 1 year ago

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pleaseeee give us more bigender jamie thoughts the concept is too good

Bigender Jamie my beloved….

He uses he/she pronouns <3 she doesn't mind they/them (pronouns are like. not very important to her honestly. she probably couldn’t tell you what a pronoun was if you asked LMAO) but she just doesn't really connect with gender neutrality/androgyny as much as she does with manhood and womanhood as separate and coexisting entities yk

When Jamie's super little, he starts asking Georgie why there are only boys and girls and he can't be both, and instead of jumping to tell him that's just the way it is (because she wants her bub to be a free thinker. obviously), she thinks about it for a while and is like. Well. I don’t know. I suppose you can be both if you’d like? And Jamie is like “ok :) yay :)” and runs with it

Georgie lets Jamie wear/do whatever he wants. She’s a very busy woman and simply has bigger things to worry about than her child wearing a pink shirt or whatever the fuck. As long as she can afford it, she'll buy it for him, because she's just trying to keep him happy and pay the bills yk

So Jamie amasses a small collection of what he calls “girl stuff," like these types of things

which he absolutely loves and has so much fun w. He's never pressured to identify any certain type of way or change anything about himself, always allowed to experiment, and he's very comfortable until he meets his dad

James starts coming around again when Jamie’s like 10ish, and he’s horrified by Georgie’s lax stance on masculinity and makes Jamie break/cut up/throw out her "girl stuff," because he doesn't think it's at all appropriate for his "son"

Having to destroy his favorite clothes and toys while his dad berates her is super traumatic and completely alters his perception of her gender/gender as a whole. When it was just him and Georgie, Jamie sort of took it for granted that he had room to experiment and didn’t realize that most people really don’t think it’s okay, and so it's a big shock and really forces her into the closet for a long time

Then she starts at the academy and everything around her is super masculine all the time, and she really tries put it behind her and convince herself that it was a phase and she doesn't have any need to indulge in that part of herself, since she's comfortable as a man and doesn't exactly feel disconnected from manhood

But as hard as he tries to convince himself otherwise, he always feels like he's missing part of himself. He's content with the life he's living and absolutely loves being one of the lads, but there's just something missing and it's undeniable and uncomfortable and always bubbling below the surface

So she's stuck in that limbo until she starts dating Keeley. He shows her an old picture where he’s wearing a Cinderella costume at daycare or something and tells her how he used to want to be “a girl and a boy at the same time” + about the “girl stuff” and how James made him destroy it, and he recounts the whole thing like it’s a funny story (because that’s just how he processes things) and is expecting Keeley to laugh with him, but she just gives him this really sad look and tells him she's sorry that happened to him and she hopes he feels comfortable expressing himself authentically with her

Which he doesn't at first, but he acclimates, because Keeley is willing to meet him halfway and work it out with him <3 She does his makeup on occasion and they experiment with phrases like "good girl" and "girlfriend" and even subtle public expressions of femininity like jewelry and nail polish and "women's" soap/shampoo, which Jamie really loves mixing with his generally masculine presentation

At one point Keeley asks her if she thinks she's a trans woman, and she's like. ":/ I don't think so, like I don't want to be a woman all the time, I just wish I could be a lady without having to give up being a lad 😔”

And Keeley of course is like "oh like bigender?"

She says it like it's nothing, but it's the first time Jamie's ever heard that and he had no idea that that was a real option and genuinely feels like he's found something he's been looking for his entire life and literally almost cries

(You can't spell "lady" without "lad" <3)

So Jamie starts to get Girl Stuff again (including some early-aughts nostalgia items identical to the things that James made her get rid of, which is very healing) and present the way she wants to present and has never ever been happier and finally feels whole

I have a LOT of thoughts about Jamie's gender identity and his relationship with Roy and the internal conflict/shame that would arise from that, but this post is already soooo long so you guys will have to let me know if you want me to talk about all that in another post

She's mostly pretty comfortable with her body, so she forgoes gender affirming surgeries, but she does start estrogen in her mid-late 20's, which is a game changer because it makes it easier to present feminine when she wants to while also allowing her to present masculine when she wants to

He doesn't really ever come out to the team, because that's not his style. They can figure it out on their own. (If you assume she's cis that's on you etc.) And they do!!! Dani starts calling her "amiga" on tuesdays thursdays and saturdays and "amigo" on mondays wednesdays and fridays or something like that lmaooo

He does come out to Georgie and Simon tho <3 Georgie is not surprised at all and takes to adding "baby girl" and "my daughter" to her repertoire very quickly, and at the end of the day she's the person whose opinion matters most to Jamie, so it's just a huge weight off his shoulders

(Simon makes her a bi flag cake and is like "love is love <3" and Jamie is like. Hm. Well. Thank you. You're a little lost but thank you)

#ask #jamie tartt #child abuse #transphobia #jamiegender #jeeley

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