#So you think I’m funny

[notherpuppet]

Alligator tears 🦌 🥲

The beauty of the pumpkin head joke is that the true joke is TELLING the joke to people.

For those who don’t know it, this is the joke:

A man with a pumpkin for a head walks into a bar. The bartender exclaims: “My god, I’m sorry, but WHAT happened to your head?”

The man sighs and says, “So I found a genie in a bottle who granted me three wishes…”

Bartender: “Ok, well what were the wishes?”

Man: “Well, my 1st wish was for 100 million dollars. AND I GOT IT!!”

Bartender: “WOW! Okay…what was the 2nd wish?”

Man: “For the 2nd wish, I asked for the most beautiful woman in the world to fall in love with me…AND I GOT THAT TOO!”

Bartender: “Incredible! So then…what was the 3rd wish?”

Man: “Now see…that’s where I really messed up…

I asked for a giant pumpkin head”

[lotus-pear]

he’s begging kuni to let them eat pancakes for dinner

[firebreathingpandas]

Malevolent is kinda funny from the king in yellow’s perspective

like imagine reaching out your window and then your hand gets fucking cut off so you have to make a giant elaborate plan to get it back. Then you learn that a stupid depressed rat stole your fucking HAND and has been carrying it around, and when you finally get your hand back it then flips you off, slaps you, and runs away with the rat.

[decaffeinatedpartymuggoop]

My favorite thing about Annabeth is her wardrobe.

Cause like, Rick simplifies her clothes in a way a man would, and you can tell.

Cause in EVERY book, from The Lightning Thief to Chalice, she’s in the goddamn CHB shirt. With like some shorts or cargo pants. Nothing more, nothing less.

He’s made improvements over the years, giving her some other clothes. But he’ll always come back to old faithful.

Like, he most definitely did it on accident, but he made her so Adam Sandler and I love it

[timethehobo]

Manfred when [fill in your own scenario].

[sirazaroff]

I just had to come in and say your Gelphie's are some of the best I've seen. I love your style, and I really love the sweetness that comes from how you draw their relationship. Thank you for the great art!

Thank you!! I know I’m very new to this fandom but I’ll give you all the best of me, promise <3

They’re just so sweet man I dunno what to say! The layers to their onion shaped relationship, I really just wanna get into the tiniest of details, whether it’s a rewrite of canon scenes, what ifs, or lil made up moments to showcase their dynamics in.

I know they don’t make the best of choices (cough Glinda cough) but their love was the most genuine and honest parts about them. They would’ve loved just doing laundry and taxes together if given the chance 🥺

[qualityrain]

week 2

[sunnyrmrez]

Happy new year

[a-scary-lack-of-common-sense]

Putting the Gravity Falls characters into the Trolls universe just because I can

[kurthummeldeservesbetter]

listen I know death of the author and everything and we should all ignore what one of the co-creators of arcane says anyways but like. it’s so fucking hilarious that quite literally everyone else involved in the making of the show ships jayvik. animators. storyboard artists. some of the writers. the fucking music video for the line included jayvik scenes. I’m pretty sure the voice artists ship it or support it. like this one man is like idk we designed them in mind as brothers and the rest of the people involved are like we did?

[k--o--m--o--r--e--b--i]

studying queer history (i’m watching star trek)

[marmosetpaw]

imagine being greystripe your best friend firestar comes back from his mysterious trip to tell you he and sandstorm went all the way to this gorge to help revive a secret fifth clan and you’re just like. So bloodclan came back.

[moominmammaonhero1n]

Jonathan Sims is like a shit wizard with googly eyes stuck to his head claiming he’s the prophet

[platossoulmates]

they worked it out on the remix (in their conjoined bedrooms)

[obsessedwithstarwars]

Question for the DP fandom:

Do you think Danny’s hair turns white when it falls out? It’s technically dead cells anyway but when it naturally falls off his head, do you think it turns white? Because I think it would be hilarious if his hairbrush just has white hair, no black strands whatsoever, and his significant other thought the worst until they know his secret.

[motherismotheringggg]

no lube, no protection, all night, all day, from the dining table to the bedroom, from the bathroom sink to the shower, from the front porch to the balcony, missionary, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, doggy, backwards, forwards, sideways, upside down, on the floor, in the bed, on the couch, on a chair, being carried against the wall, outside, in a train, on a plane, in the car, on a motorcycle, the bed of a truck, on a trampoline, in a bounce house, in the pool, bent over, in the basement, against the window, having the most toe-curling, back-arching, leg-shaking, dick-throbbing, fist-clenching, ear-ringing, mouth-drooling, ass-clenching, nose-sniffling, eye-watering, eye-rolling, hip-thrusting, earthquaking, sheet-gripping, knuckles-cracking, jaw-dropping, hair-pulling, teeth-jittering, mind-boggling, soul-snatching, overstimulating, vile, sloppy, moan-inducing, heart-wrenching, spine-tingling, back-breaking, atrocious, gushy, creamy, beastly, lip-biting, gravity-defying, nail-biting, sweaty, feet-kicking, mind-blowing, body-shivering, orgasmic, bone-breaking, world-ending, black hole-creating, universe-destroying, devious, scrumptious, amazing, delightful, delectable, unbelievable, body-numbing, bark-worthy, can’t-walk, head-nodding, soul-evaporating, volcano-erupting, sweat-rolling, voice-cracking, trembling, sheets-soaked, hair-drenched, flabbergasting, lip-locking, skin-peeling, eyelash-removing, eye-widening, pussy-popping, nail-scratching, back-cutting, spectacular, brain-cell-dissolving, hair-ripping, show-stopping, magnificent, unique, extraordinary, splendid, phenomenal, mouth-foaming, heavenly, awakening. i would give this man the sloppiest, wettest, creamiest, soul-taking, slimy, life-changing, death-dropping, heaven-sent, flabbergasting, hypnotizing, ungodly, astonishing, leg-trembling, back-arched, hands-desperately-grabbing-the-sheets, legs-stretching-out-again-and-again, toe-curling, voice-breaking, whimper-causing, waist-slowly-moving-up-and-down, small heavy breath “I can’t take much more of this,” breaths getting quicker, twitching, throbbing, eyes shut, lip-biting, edging, begging for relief, warm hot rush bubbling up, spit upon the tongue twisting ground tip-talking against the mouth, sideways spit from the end, and lick from the bottom to the top, then spit and lick to the bottom, deep-throating, thrusting slower then faster, faster, FASTER, twisting mouth around each side, THEN I’d let him pound me so FUCKING HARD UNTIL HE IMPREGNATES ME WITH HIS BABIES. YOU, sir, can OBLITERATE me. He could put a nuclear bomb inside me and I’d still ride.