#So the reason why it’s been so long is
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In celebration of making the valley team, here’s an update to my comic!
It’s been uhhh,
(checks watch)
13 months!
please kill me
(I basically just traced over the old lineart so it looks a little wonky. My composition definitely wasn’t the greatest)
#Sorry for being OOC I just wanted mekh to say fuck#So the reason why it’s been so long is#Mekh’s pose was too challenging for me a year ago#And I just kept putting it off#The comic isn’t cancelled or anything#Funnily enough I figured it out in like 15 seconds when I came back#Sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky children of light#sky children#thatskygame#that sky game#sky game#that game sky#skyblr#sky: cotl#scotl#sky: children of the light#skykid#sky cotl fanart#comic#My art#artists on tumblr#artists of tumblr#digital art#art
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oversaturate
#my art#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jjk fanart#jujutsu kaisen fanart#yuji itadori#itadori yuuji#jjk yuuji#been trying some stuff out in an attempt to beat the artblock out of myself with hammers#and i LOVE how it looks but god it takes so long painting like this#i had a ref style i was going for that was a lot more washed out and watercoloury#and to be fair my take on it did start out looking more adjacent to that#u can still kinda see remnants of the initial watercolour washes in the collar of yuuji's jacket in th bottom one#but it Did Not Last fhdjfjjg what can i say im a gouache/oils gal#i can't use soft greys and watery inks i need stark blacks i need the reddest red the colour wheel will provide#one thing i did keep from the refs were the sharp prickly fine lines i think those look real cool against textured colour blocks#anyway ive also been having a lot of fun playing with rly rly harsh lighting on the hair#and even thinner linework put down after the colour as opposed to before#probably one of the reasons why it takes a lot longer but also it mimics traditional art a lot more#ill probably continue playing around with this sort of render ! or at least keep elements of it
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He was feeling left out
and the higher rez stills, since gifs always export as if you're sending messages through a metal can~
#you may be wondering why I put so much effort into this#I'm curious too funny how these things happen sometimes#anyways I think omega has jets on his back that would let him fly but consider: he wants to Look Cool#shadow the hedgehog#rouge the bat#omega e123#sxsg#sonic x shadow generations#team dark#sxsg spoilers#sonic#idk how long I need to tag spoilers but I'll be nice#comic#having the camera shifted towards shadow for the middle bit was a Mistake#he is soooo much harder to draw than rouge asl;dkfj#like one degree off on the eyes and it becomes unviable I swear#except for profiles ironically that first panel was easy as hell#looking back on this I love how I Completely changed how I drew rouge's wings after the first panel#I think the difference was I just swapped refs and her character model was different lol#meanwhile I'm just blatantly cheating shadow's wings for the middle panel purely to fit them in at all#I truly love how oversized they are except for when I'm trying to make a readable composition#yet another reason he should've been back to the camera rather than facing it in the middle but so it goes#my art#doodles
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act 4 :(
@chipper-smol and i came to a realization
#THID FUCKING GAAAAAAAMMMMEEEEE#i have more i wanna draw but my hands not working orz.. maybe ill get around to it later idk#i finally FINALLY managed to get inside that star room.. my own clone!! now neither of us will be virgins!!!!#i dont have anything to go off of but when the journal mentions making another 'me' it reminds me of loop saying theyre like a mirror#theyre always able to read siffrins mind without actually reading their mind (or so they say) but maybe it could just be tone matching???#or smth like that.. idk if these two things are connected though so maybe its more like subtext#i hope im not the only one who made the childrens hospital joke when it came around to color lore part 2#im also getting the sinking feeling of watching siffrin toe his way near the deep end like bro is so so close to losing it#i feel like if i knew nothing abt the game beforehand and why siffrin is looping in the first place my feelings abt this would be different#cuz id be pretty angry too if ive been stuck in a loop long enough to feel like everyone around me is pretending nothings wrong#than the fact that i have decided not to disclose im in a time loop and that everyone is living this day for the first time#although i also get hes doing this for a reason and when u believe in the universe i guess it also comes with sunk cost fallacy#'this is the path the universe led me down before i even knew what i wanted so all i can do is double down' THATS THE FATALISM TALKING#puppy plays isat#in stars and time#isat#isat spoilers#isat act 3 spoilers#isat act 4 spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#sona#puppysona#friends#chipper#doodles
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Okay but it's super interesting how
Din = Power = Ganondorf
Naryu = Wisdom = Zelda
Farore = Courage = Link.
Because Din, in the hylian creation myth, created the physical world. Naryu then created the laws - gravity, time, etc. And Farore finally created life - plants and people.
Din created the body, naryu the mind, Farore the soul.
And the triforce and its wielders so perfectly reflect that.
Ganon is physical power, he is big and intimidating and he breaks things. He is cunning and determined, but that's not what he focuses on. He is might makes right.
Zelda is wisdom and cleverness. She is stall tactics and information and team work. She is a powerful mage with a spine of steel, but that's not how she'll win. She is the pen being mightier than the sword.
Link is courage and persistence. He is the wild card sneaking behind enemy ranks, always moving, plunging into terrifying situations head first. He's a phenomenal fighter with a keen wit, but that's not what will get him through his challenges. He is bravery not being the absence of fear but the triumph over it.
They sit in perfect parallels to each other.
And ganon is reborn through his body - his resurrection is immortality. No matter how low he is cast, as long as he has a body he can claw his way back. He can cling to his power, build it ever higher.
Zelda is reborn through the magic of her bloodline. It's the accumulated knowledge handed down for generations, the unique power she must master, the skills she must develop to survive and get her kingdom out the other side intact. Even her name, the knowledge of herself, is handed down from all the way from the very first. Her ancestors knowledge of her future presence, her stability, is what gives her the edge.
Link is reborn in spirit. He is not bound by flesh or blood. Just like his wanderlust soul he can reappear in any time or place. His variation, his unpredictability, is exactly how he fights. It's what makes him so hard to pin down.
Ganons need to build strength means he can't chase after link. Links impulsiveness means zelda can outwit him. Zeldas stationary predictability means she's an easy target for ganon.
But the other direction?
Fire melts ice, ice redirects lightning, lightning burns fire.
And that's the very essence of the triforce.
#It's little details spread across the games like this that just makes it work so WELL it's SO COOL#They're all great at all parts of the triforce but they CHOOSE to focus on the path most meaningful to them#And that's literally reflected in their unique cycles of reincarnation isn't that just AMAZING#And that's why the team up is so important! If they were all working against each other they'd be locked spinning their wheels#If zelda and ganon teamed up link would immediately die and if link and ganon teamed up zelda would instantly perish#It's the link zelda team up that means ganon is the one who kicks it#Also the elemental thing was cool but they do jump around a bit. Like wind is there half the time#In botk the gerudo have lightning and the goron have fire. Farosh still has lightning tho and dinraal fire#In ss lanaryu was the lightning and faron had water like its all over the place thematically. And that's when it's only 3!#Don't even get me started on the 5/7 lots notankyu#But that's the most common group and it's also thematically accurate#Fire being the only one able to self perpetuate with fuel. Can be banked up again. Ice compresses with time but needs the right environment#Lightning go boom 👍 you can feel the static in the air but you don't know when/where it'll strike and then it's all over#Like fr it's hilarious zelda and ganon are playing the long game and link runs past eats all the pieces and while ganons yelling after him#Zelda checkmates his king. And nobody can prove she wasn't cheating because nobody was looking lmao#Ah the duality of metaphors#ANYWAY isn't that so neat???#Reason no.372 why rhoam was a terrible king he didn't just screw up he did it ✨thematically✨#If link had been allowed to run off and get dirty and if zelda was allowed to study her interest (like post kingdom fall FOR EXAMPLE)#They'd have won (like aoc) but nooooooo. I've already made a post (or 3) about it lmao I'll be quiet now#loz#legend of zelda#botw#triforce#loz link#the legend of zelda#zelda#loz botw#ganondorf#loz ganon
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you have to be sexy but you have to be sexy in a way that's kind of bloody. you learn this early because you are wearing a ruffled skirt and the snow around your ankles kicks little sand particles against your calves. baby's first catcall. welcome to sexiness! welcome to the eyesore of your own body!
you have to be sexy like high heels. like sculpted eyebrows. like lean stomach and highly treated hair. you have to be sexy like youth is sexy, which means you have to be sexy like boxtox and plastic. a 30 year old can be sexy but she's not going to be bloody, and they like the bloodiness of it. a 30 year old is sexy when she is a whiskey glass and a wooden desk.
but you need to be sexy like an open mouth. you need to be sexy like a bitten apple. like plucked skin and white-knuckling the waxing kit.
so sex is a performance, not an enjoyment. for a while, you just assumed everyone else was also in on the joke - nobody actually likes sex that much, right? like, some men probably do, but why would you? it is like a gender - your gender is sexy. your gender is the performance of sex. you are thigh highs and garter belts. which, to be fair, do make you feel sexy.
part of what does make sex good is that you can tell that other people want you, which means the performance of sexiness is both bloody and wanted, which is good, which means you are winning at having a body. being wanted is the prize. being wanted is the thing you are searching for, not hope. you think you are looking for a soft grave in easy loam, but that is bloody but not sexy. to be sexy you must be bloody like a red open sign. bloody like a handprint. this will make you wanted.
any wanted or unwanted body is subject to supply and demand, which is to say that the more demand, the better you are valued. you must be highly demanded to be valued. this is stated in matter-of-fact by some men. sometimes it is a priest that says it, and sometimes it is a podcaster, and sometimes it is the 45th president of the united states of america.
(if you do not have any experience with being told your value, i want you to grab the nearest bird to you and i want you to crush it into a thin paste in your hand. spit into the center, and then hold your fingers closed tight around it for days and days, long after the rot has set in. feel bones itch inside of your fist. this is only a fraction of what it actually feels like, but it will suffice for a moment.)
good sex feels like you have earned their desperation. you have earned your own value. for a while you operated under the understanding that everyone knew about the power structure, even him. that their desire to take you - the violence of it - means that you must desire to be caught. little prince, guardian fox - you would rather have cut your own arm off. you liked the secret, cunning little voice you keep tucked into a box. you think you are fucking me. i am not even here right now. you are fucking what i conned you into perceiving. this is a painting, not a person. dominion over the body before all things.
so you bend your body like a wheat shaft and learn the steps so perfectly that it almost seems graceful. (if you do not have experience faking your own connection to your body and sexuality, cut each of your articles of clothing just a little bit incorrectly. pour fishbones into each of your meals. this way, you will experience the average noon on a tuesday.)
you have to be sexy like light spilled over a desk, but not desperate. not a noose. you can't be sexy like an electric guitar, you are the acoustic. you have to be on top of the bull but you can't have control over the animal.
okay, okay. the little rabbit of your heart went to sleep so long ago that winter has ravaged your concept of the human soul. there's something very-bad inside you, something that has taken over, a little fetid and rabid animal, angry and hurting and willing to bite first.
oh but even that's a pain that's sexy. open your mouth. be careful not to let the canines show.
#spilled ink#writeblr#warm up#the reason i tag warm up on so much is bc often i write them between me doing other things so im mostly telling myself to come back and edi#bc i rarely have time to check for typos lol#this is partially about compulsory heterosexuality btw#and why it took me so long to realize im a lesbian#i just assumed sex wasn't really supposed to be that good#been reading feminist lit and u can always tell
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part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)
part 2 (on welt and being just a human)
#remember how in second eruption welt keeps getting covered in blood edgelord style whenever he fights??? yeah#wait first off#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#welt yang#void archives#voidwelt#my doodles#okay anyways. VA isnt human but they haven't been in a “human” body for very long so i reckon there's a lot of new experiences to make#and. i dont think he gets to be dignified enough NOT to be whiny about it. cmon. itd be so funny#second of all sure welt is human but that dude's real used to not giving a shit abt how he's doing and acting like a robot instead of a per#cuz he's got more “important” shit to do#(that's so fucking real of him man ME TOO BESTIE)#also as i told kai: that last panel is not a look of surprise or horror. i tagged this as voidwelt for a reason#i think we all know what kinda look this is#edit: and why tf would they be fighting sky people? why can they bleed? dont ask me im here to draw gay people covered in blood#edit 2: oh my god i didnt add the blood in the first panel. THATS WHAT THE JOKE REVOLVES AROUND???
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[this is kind of a messy ramble, sorry about that]
Demon Twins AU, except Danny is loyal to the League.
The League of Assassins is a “cult” for a reason. They know what they’re doing. Ra’s has been around for a very long time; he’s seen every trick in the book and then some.
So when his daughter Talia gave him two, near-identical twin grandsons, he had already planned out their lives by the time the sun had set on their first day living. He knew the plans weren’t perfect. Nothing ever went exactly how he wanted it to. But that was the joy of being absolutely fucking ancient. Ra’s adapted better than anyone. If something went wrong, Ra’s will simply work around the issue and live to see another day.
So the boys were raised as he wished. Ruthless, with sharp blades and even sharper wit. They matched each other in every way, blow for blow. Neither won more than the other, and Ra’s encouraged the competition between the twins. Eventually, the battle for title of Heir came, and Damian won that particular match.
Danny was fine with this. Thrilled, even, for his brother to earn the title of Heir. The boys were very close, and worked well to take down targets twice their size. Ra’s approved this, and granted Danny title of Shadow. He was to be Damian’s eternal shadow, a guard. Both Talia and the boys were pleased with this.
But then came the time for the boys to learn how to live without each other. They’d gotten too used to someone guarding their back. Too complacent and too confident in their roles. Ra’s knew it would happen, and so sent Danny off at a very young age to live with some sleeper agents in America.
The Fentons.
Damian would stay here, with Talia, to learn how to be the perfect Heir. He needed to learn how to fight without the assistance of his brother.
Danny would go to Amity Park, and be fostered by the Fentons. He needed to put his skills to practical use and learn how to live without constant orders.
This was their Test.
Damian did quite well, for a while. Until Talia sent him off to his birth father, The Bat. Reports on his behavior declined in quality after that, and Ra’s couldn’t help but feel dissatisfaction with how the Heir had been corrupted.
Danny’s reports were always immaculate, however. His mask never slipped, and he’d worked himself into the hearts of the townspeople. The sleeper agents, Jack and Maddie, had a daughter who was quite enthusiastic about the properties of the mind, and accept Ra’s instructions to teach Danny with ease. It was the ideal situation.
In Ra’s eyes, Danny was thriving. Damian was not.
And then Ra’s died. The League was in shambles. Damian was at peace with his family, away from the cult he grew up in. He assumed Danny had defected years ago, since their mother stopped giving him reports about his twin.
Then Danny showed up at the Wayne’s doorstep, decked out in full League attire, angry and hostile.
“Tell me, dear brother,” he spat. “Why did you not inform me that Grandfather had died? I had to find out through his spirit when it came to visit from the afterlife!”
Damian didn’t know what to say.
#DPxDC#pondhead blurbs#just#Danny and Damian grew up in a CULT#cults have a reputation for a reason#Danny had no reason to even think about defecting throughout his entire childhood#if being loyal to his grandfather was an issue clockwork would have told him#Dan would have told him#the Fentons are part of a league faction operating out of the US#even Jazz is loyal to them and started viewing Ra’s as a grandfather figure the few times he came to visit#Danny LOVES his assassin grandpa and nobody in amity blinks an eye at him#Ra’s does know about the Fenton portal and phantom#because why wouldn’t Danny tell him?#Ra’s dies and his spirit immediately heads over to where he knows the portal is so he can get some help#ghost Ra’s: my grandson. it’s been too long.#Danny with the worst voice crack: why are you DEAD#Talia is still in hiding#or doing whatever she’s supposed to be doing idk#Danny shows up to ream Damian out and yell at him for his disloyalty#everyone is extremely worried about what Danny will do because he is very obviously still in deep with the league#he doesn’t like the talk about being ‘free’ because he was always free. tf you talking about Grayson.#also Damian doesn’t know about the full properties of the Lazarus pits or ectoplasm. he’s the Heir not the Head. that’s private stuff#Ra’s is a smug bastard using his grandson as a way to get revenge on the living#Danny is HIS shadow now.#I must stress Danny is pretty much the same as canon but literally just loyal to his grandpa Ra’s#maybe Ra’s meets clockwork? Ra’s x Clockwork?#their ship name is Sun Dial now I’ve decreed it
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Dick had many soulmarks.
Not as many as someone would've thought, probably, with the amount of friends that he had, but still many. They adorned his forearm like jewelry, circling around his skin in intricate patterns. Every single one of them just as beautiful as the other, just like the people they belonged to. Dick thought every single one of them as a blessing.
He had done so especially after the first two had faded away.
They were still there, of course. Nothing could ever truly erase a mark on someone's soul, after all. Not even death. Dick would've been even more devastated if the marks would've disappeared with his parents, even if sometimes looking at the now liveless marks hurt.
They had hurt, physically, when it had happened. When the bodies had hit the ground and Dick's heart had been ripped into pieces, the marks had burned, searing hot white pain latching onto him, pulling at his skin the same as his heart.
Not that Dick had really noticed it, then. He had been hurting too much otherwise to really care about it in the moment.
He had latched onto every new mark with all of his heart afterwards. It had hurt, when Bruce's had appeared, as it made the white, faded color of his parents' marks stand out even more, but the joy had been enough to chase the hurt away. Alfred's had not hurt nearly as much, and with his friends, he had simply been happy.
Dick would've never said it out loud, but he did have favorites. His parents', even faded. He didn't think anyone would blame him for that one. Bruce's, in a sense, as it had been the first live one he had gained.
His absolute favorite, though?
Jason's.
Jason was...different. He wasn't his parents, nor was he his caretaker. He had no obligations to Dick, even if obligations did not really affect the formation of the marks. He wasn't Dick's friend, either, not the same way anyone in the team was.
He was Dick's little brother.
And Dick would've given him the world.
Jason had been ecstatic when the marks had appeared, and, to be perfectly honest, so had Dick. They were such beautiful marks too, the lines twisting around themselves to form images of wings in flight, shining when light hit them just right, every new angle bringing out a new detail.
"Birds of a feather, right?" Dick had said, grinning wildly. "That's what we are, Little Wing, and the marks know it."
He had ruffled Jason's hair, and Jason had grinned back at him, and for that moment, Dick had been able to forget everything else. No argument or hurt had mattered even in the slightest.
It had just been Dick and Jason, in their own world, one that was only for them.
---
Dick was exhausted.
In a good way, for once. If there was a good way to be exhausted. Maybe saying that he was exhausted in a better way was more correct. No one was hurt too badly, and the day had been more or less a success. All things considered, at the very least.
He missed home. It was maybe a stupid thing to say, Dick knew that so many people back home would've given everything to go to space, but Dick was tired. He was tired of being the leader, tired of seeing his friends get hurt, tired of failing in some way every single day.
He missed home. Even if things with Bruce were not perfect, everything was still much simpler back at the Manor, at least compared to this. Alfred would be there, with his gentle yet firm words and reassurances, and Bruce, even when Dick wanted to mostly scream at him, was still a familiar presence in a familiar space.
Jason would be there, too, talking Dick's ear off, making the house lived in, making it feel like an actual home.
Dick just wanted this whole thing to be over already, if he was being completely honest. Today had been a good day, all things considered, and all Dick wanted to do was to faceplant on his bed and sleep without too many worried for once. Sleep and hope that it would bring him closer to getting back home.
Of course, he couldn't do that, not just yet. Even if no one was hurt too badly, he needed to make sure that everything was in order, make sure that they had all they needed, make sure-
One moment he was thinking about all the things he needed to still do, and the next he was on the ground on his hands and knees, being torn to pieces and burned alive.
There were voices around him. Someone was touching him, hands warm on his skin, tilting his face up, but Dick couldn't see who it was. His heart was beating erratically, like it was trying to tear itself to shreds and out of its place. It burned, searing hot, white pain, that had turned him into a human torch.
Distantly, Dick knew that he already knew this pain.
He got a breath in to his burning lungs. Then another one. He was still on fire, but he could see again.
Kory was right in front of him, holding his head. Dick was mostly on the ground, now, laying on his side, only barely holding himself on his elbows.
He had no idea when he had gotten there.
Kory seemed to notice that he had come back to himself. Her face relaxed ever so slightly as his eyes met hers.
"Dick?" She asked. Her voice was low, and she was clearly trying to keep it soft, but it was still pinched with worry, just like her eyes. "Are you alright?"
Dick didn't know what to say to her.
He knew he wasn't injured, not badly at least. He knew that, but he didn't feel alright, not in the slightest.
The pain was still there, curling around the edges of him, his skin feeling like embers that were still smoldering, even though the fire had gone away. He couldn't feel his arm properly, and Dick wondered if something had-
Suddenly he felt cold.
He pushed himself up, ignoring how shaky he felt. He almost fell down again, and Kory tried to put her hands on him, maybe to push him back down or to help him up. Dick didn't know, and he didn't have the time to stop and figure it out.
His suit was on the way. Dick tugged at it, then dug his teeth on the sleeve and ripped the seam open with force he hadn't known he possessed in his jaws, and he dug his fingers in it again and continued ripping the sleeve off of his skin.
There were voices around him again, someone's hands on his shoulders, but Dick didn't pay any attention to any of it. He needed to get it off, he needed to get it off, so he could see, he needed to get it off so he could see-
Jason's mark was gone.
It had been between Bruce's and Alfred's, golden and warm and brilliant, wings in flight, and it was gone.
Dick tilted his arm, tried to catch it in light, like he had done before, to make it shine like it always had, and-
It was there.
It was still there.
Faded.
White.
Dead.
Just like his parents.
The fire burned again where his heart should've been, freezing cold, hollowing him out from the inside.
The world disappeared from around him as Dick screamed.
#hey so I haven't written anything in a long time so why not come back with a banger eh#I've been reading a lot of soulmark au's for some reason and a lot of them focus on when jason's mark would come back suddenly#and I had a thought of hm. dick was in space when jason died. how terrible would it be if dick just suddenly lost the mark when up there#without knowing what had happened other than that jason was gone#while he was far away from home#how terrible that would be indeed :)#dc#my writing#my fics#DC writing#Dick Grayson#Jason Todd#Nightwing#Jaybin#batman#batfam#dc fics
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I’m sorry, but if you think that Raoul wouldn’t switch places with Christine to be bait for the Phantom if he could, you’re just objectively wrong (it’s okay, I still love you).
#you can disagree with me if you want#but I do honestly believe that the only reason that Raoul DIDN’T exchange places with Christine was because he COULDN’T#the phantom didn’t want him#didn’t want meg#didn’t want carlotta#Erik only wanted Christine#Erik was only going to show up for Christine#They could only catch him if Christine was the bait#And they had to catch him — in Raoul’s reasoning at least — so that Christine could be safe in the long run#He doesn’t want to put her in further danger#But he has to so that she can finally be safe#And Christine knew that#That’s why she agreed#Raoul didn’t force her to do anything#She performed Don Juan/Pass the Point of No Return of her own free will#If there had been another way Raoul (and Christine) would have taken it#But there wasn’t#And they couldn’t#my raoulstine rant of the day is over#I promise#phantom of the opera#the phantom of the opera#poto#tpoto#musical theatre#phantom the opera 2004#erik the phantom#christine daaé#raoul de chagny#raoulstine
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sticker of shame on top of my head that says "i turn everything i love into a monster hunter au". some boys that bite just dropped
#i think this is the first time ive drawn what is intended to be zack fair with like something close to his canon design#every other time it's been the very specific self indulgent version of zack i like to draw. oups#zack fair#cloud strife#ff7#monster hunter#mortifying ordeal of tagging btw. like look at this random shit i doodled. sorry#also they did not Just drop. ive had this cooking for a little too long i just want to figure out how to structure things....#i promise cloud is actually weirder than he looks and also teheres a lore reason why they didnt get cool ears#sorry if this is all this blog becomes . i still need to redo it so bad#ff7 monhun au
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Thinking about Illario again. Illario has been through a lot. Just as much as Lucanis. He lost his parents at a young age, as well as aunts, uncles, maybe even a sibling. He was raised just as isolated and friendless, and was tortured and neglected as much as Lucanis. Illario is very familiar with grief and loneliness.
And Illario knows Lucanis is going to die soon. They both might, they're Crows, after all, but Lucanis has just... accepted it. He seems to almost want it. He refuses to take any step to prevent or delay that fate. He will never decline dangerous jobs, will never quit, and he will, however reluctantly, accept a position that they both know will place a huge target on his back.
And Illario has to live every day knowing that one of his only two remaining family members, and the only person who actually cares about and loves him, the only person Illario really even likes let alone loves, is going to die. Any day now. He has to think about it on every job they do, every day they continue to be who they are; the only surviving Dellamorte heirs. He has to think about all the loss and grief he's been through, and know that the worst is yet to come. Not that he didn't love his parents, but he was young, and it was so long ago. Losing Lucanis, who he loves, who he's known and loved for like 30 years, will be the worst thing he's ever had to experience and he has to know it.
Have you ever known you're about to lose somebody close to you? Have you ever had to wake up every day with the thought that this could be their last haunting your every waking hour? Have you ever found yourself wishing, even if only in the deepest farthest back part of your thoughts, that they would just die already because you can't take another day of worrying and waiting? I have. Anticipatory grief is hell.
And I think that's where Illario is at with Lucanis. Every day is like that, watching Lucanis tightrope along the edge of death and just waiting for the worst day of his life. Illario doesn't want Lucanis dead, not really. (Even if the thought "I'd be First Talon if you weren't here" has crossed his mind.) He loves Lucanis. But Lucanis is going to die anyways, so he might as well just get it over with. Lucanis himself said his calling is death, and Illario's is First Talon. You could, in a twisted way, argue that this is what Lucanis would have wanted.
Illario has faced loss before and come out the other side, so once Lucanis is gone it'll hurt, but he'll be able to start moving on. And Illario will get what he's always wanted: he'll have proven he's the better Crow, he'll be the favourite (by default), and he'll be First Talon, like he wanted. So he'll be fine. Everything will be fine.
#Illario Dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#this man can fit so much trauma and anxiety in him 👍#I just wanted to talk about anticipatory grief why did this get so long#To be clear I'm not saying this is his “real reason” or anything I think it's one part of a whole big complex mess#I think there is also a whole other discussion to be had about how Illario NEEDS to be First Talon because otherwise his whole life has#been torture and suffering for nothing. If he doesn't get to be First Talon what was all that pain and suffering FOR?#And also he needs to feel good enough#And also this is the only real life goal either of the Dellamortes were allowed to have. Of course he wants this.#He's never been allowed to let himself want anything else. Of COURSE he wants this.#Which is also why Lucanis; who DOESN'T want this; wants to die instead#Because those are your options
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stupid fucking bastard. i am not coping with the leaks
#dead leaf for leafpool and gull feathers for feathertail#like yeah it's funny that cherith does whatever the hell she wants as soon as she's in the driver's seat#but it's also baffling and frustrating that she wanted this in the first place#crowfeather or at least the version of him in my head is a fun and interesting character because he's shitty#in the newer books there's been a weird attitude toward him where the other characters think he's irritable but also noble and attractive#also tawnypelt is such a nothing character it's upsetting that all she's ever been is an accessory to the men around her#her father her brother her mate her son her grandson(s)#and her pov is no longer merely boring but actually insufferable thanks to her poorly handled “kids these days” plots#if it were up to me#the new prophecy would focus more on tawnypelt feeling out of place in shadowclan and struggling to prove her loyalty#contrasting brambleclaw who is generally accepted in thunderclan but victimizes himself due to his insecurity#i would also explore how tawnypelt and rowanclaw get together since he hates her in one scene and then they're lovey dovey in the next#although this does seem to be the basis of many warriors relationships#i'm not sure how i feel about tawnypelt getting a second mate as an elder but i don't want to begrudge old people finding love again#so i'm fine with it as long as it's not crowfeather#as for crowfeather#he would fall hard and fast for feathertail because she's pretty and shows him kindness but i want it to be one-sided#then he would fall hard and fast for leafpool for the same reasons#she runs away with him not because she loves him but because clan society is suffocating and she needs an escape#so when they get back to the clans she moves on pretty quickly but he lives a long and miserable life pining after her#his clanmates quietly avoid him because they don't like him that much because why would they and so he never becomes deputy#i can see him trying to reconnect with breezepelt and nightcloud as an elder#not necessarily because he realizes how shitty he is but because he wants a relationship with his granddaughters but it's strained#and then he dies! i'm tired of writing and being frustrated by these stupid books so i'm ending it here#changing skies spoilers#crowfeather#warrior cats#eel art#eel text
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One reason I really dislike the Leonidas thing btw is that there is just way in hell Esperanza Valdez, who was keenly aware of Leo being a demigod and everything that meant since he was born and was actively trying to protect him from being a hero for as long as she could, would make her kid share a name with a Greek king who died sacrificing himself. That makes no sense.
Esperanza would not name Leo Leonidas for the same reason Sally didn’t name her son Jason instead of Percy. Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.
#personally I’m choosing to believe Calypso drew parallels between Leo and Leonidas and nicknamed him that#and one of the reasons Leo dislikes it is that it’s just not his name#plus it’s kind of old-timey so it makes sense for Calypso to default to something like that considering how long she’s been away from human#leo valdez#esperanza valdez#hoo#heroes of olympus#toa#trials of apollo#leo pjo#anyway I saw a rick tweet at some point that Leo’s name was just Leo and not short for anything#but I’m not on twitter and he may have changed his mind since as he sometimes does#but this is why I personally just dislike the whole concept#it makes sense as far as out of universe symbolism goes but in universe it’s nonsense
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I haven’t been liking how I draw thrawn lately so I wanted to do some comic redraws to practice. Feral Thrawn is so funny to me?? Like why is his hair so long?😭 bruh was only supposed to be out there for like a few months—not years
I also find heavily shadowed forms hard so I wanted to practice that too
#star wars#thrawn#star wars fanart#thrawn fanart#grand admiral thrawn#my art 2024#mitth’raw’nuruodo#myart#digital illustration#comic redraw#thrawn spoiler#idk if referencing his conversation with night swan in my post is a spoiler exactly but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#why’s his hair so long WTF?#literally did he drink a hair growing potion? do chiss have hair growing potions#😭😭#and no facial hair whatsoever ig looool#I know it’s an artistic decision for the comic but it’s still so funny to me that his hair is so fucking long for like no reason other than#selling that he’s been here for awhile
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aware
#I’ve been sitting on this for SO LONG#‘why do you ship flojami’ oh no reason#FREAK FOR FREAK IT’S BECAUSE IT’S FREAK FOR FR — *GETS BLASTED*#anyway yeah they play mind games except the mind games are the outright bloodlust vs simmering pining#now the question is: WHO is the outright bloodlust and WHO is the simmering pining#because when you think about it. WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT. it is NOT that obvious#do i explicate. maybe in another piece but basically Floyd has layers like an onion while Jamil is like. a volcano#does that make sense it does to me i think I’ll talk about it later#so yeah this is when the two of them are dancing around each other#hehe dancing#ahem so yes they’re very normal#and also this is an excuse for me to try a new art style#well not art style so much as formatting#and awareness of space#not sure if this is more manga like or cinematic but I like it!! it’s atmospheric#ok that’s enough from me POINT IS. IM NORMAL. THEYRE NORMAL. WERE JUST NORMAL MEN WERE JUST INNOCENT MEN#floyd leech#jamil viper#flojami#twisted wonderland#twst#art tag
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