#So many things to look forward to next year

[lee-laurent]

T'es ben chix - Luke Hughes

Summary: Amélie decides Luke Hughes is the cutest boy she's ever seen, but she doesn't know how to tell him.

wc: 7k

content: fluff, a little bit of angst, kissing, panic attacks, anxiety, quick make out session, a couple dirty jokes, long distance relationship (let me know if missed anything!)

notes: don't let the title fool you, this fic is still in english!! i realized the other day while doing schoolwork that i don't have a fic that discusses being french-canadian. so... here we are! this fic was super fun for me to write and i incorporated experiences and challenges i have faced over the last few years. a lot of the mistakes that amélie makes are mistakes that i have made or that other french speakers make when speaking english bc sometimes we try to directly translate things and it just does not work lol i reallly hope you guys enjoy!!! and to any other francophones out there: let's be friends!!

just finished writing and it's about 5k words more than i was planning

Amélie honestly wasn't the biggest fan of going out back home, so going out in a place where she could barely speak the language was even worse. But a few of the girls she'd befriended had convinced her it was a good way to get to know more people and to let loose. She sat with the three other girls at a small table, her fingers drumming against the glass of her cocktail.

"Yeah, what did you think of that guy that presented today, Am?"

"Hm? He did... good."

"No, silly. Did you think he was cute?"

"Oh, um, he's... how do you say... not my type?"

"Not your type? Then what is your type, Am?"

"Probably that guy she's been making googly eyes at all night," one of the others teased.

"Who? The tall, curly haired guy in the corner?"

Amélie blushed, sipping at the alcohol for courage.

"Ooo, she's totally into him!"

"You should go talk to him, Am!"

"No... I tell you... no American boys," she waved them off.

"Well, that's too bad. Cause it looks like he's comin' over here. We'll be at the bar if you need us."

"Guys..."

But it was too late, the other girls were already up and headed towards the bar.

"Calisse," she mumbled, trying to ignore the tall figure approaching her table.

"Mind if I sit?" he asked. She looked up at him, her lips pursed. He had the same curly hair and boyish smile that her friends had been teasing her about. She really hadn't planned on talking to anyone tonight, let alone any boys. The girls knew her rule: no falling for any boys while she was in America.

"Uh... sure," she replied, gesturing to the empty chairs across from her.

He smiled, sitting down casually, rubbing his palms on his pants. "I'm Luke. I, uh, I thought I'd come introduce myslef since we, uh, made eye contact so many times."

Amélie bit her lip, nodding as he spoke. She barely knew enough English to follow what her friends were saying, and now she had to talk to some random guy at this bar she didn't even want to be at. "I, uh, I am Amélie."

"Amélie? That's a really pretty name. Did I, uh, did I say it right? Amélie?"

Her cheeks flushed, her eyes flickering down to her drink. "Yeah... that is right. Thank you." Her fingers tightened around the glass, trying to think of something to say next, but everything just came in French.

Luke could sense her hesitation, suddenly becoming way more nervous about coming over. Maybe it had been stupid. Maybe he was making her feel uncomfortable. "I just thought... I don't know. You seemed nice. Do you, uh, want to talk, or...?"

She met his gaze, taking a deep breath. He was trying and he seemed nice, like he really wanted to talk to her. "I... my English, it is not very good," her accent thickening as she spoke. "It is... hard for me."

Luke nodded, leaning forward slightly. He had teammates that didn't speak English as their first language, so he kind of knew what to expect. "That's fine. I'm sure it's better than my French. That is your first language, right? French? Sorry, I just assumed cause your name-"

"Yes, French," she cut him off, giggling at his rambling.

"I can barely say anything in French, so you've already got me beat."

His attempt to make her feel better worked... a little. "It is easier... to write. But speaking... more pressure, I forget the words lots."

"I get that. But we can just... talk slowly."

She sipped at her drink, waiting for him to continue.

"So, what brings you to Jersey? Not a lot of French people here."

"Exchange... at Rutgers. I am from Québec. Saguenay. But I come here... and I work on my English."

"That's super cool. It's awesome that you're pushing yourself to get better. I, uh, I went to Umich for a bit, but-"

"Umich?"

"Oh, right. University of Michigan. I lived in Michigan before I lived here."

"You move here because..."

"For hockey. I play hockey."

"Oh... that's cool. I like Les Canadiens. You play in the LNH?"

"The NHL? Yeah, I do. You like hockey?"

"Everyone in Québec likes hockey. Very popular."

"But you didn't know who I was," Luke teased.

"Only like Les Canadiens, sorry," she shrugged.

"Well, that's fair, I guess. The Habs are pretty big in Québec, huh?"

"Yes! My family... all big fan." She felt comfortable talking about her family, talking about home, the things she liked. Her dad watched every Habs game on TV and sometimes he'd even drive down to Montréal for a weekend to see them play.

"My family loves hockey too. Everyone plays. My mom, my dad, me, and both my brothers. It's like in our blood... or something."

"They play for... the same team?"

"One of them does. Jack, he plays with me. My other brother, Quinn, he plays in Vancouver," Luke tried to keep it casual, not wanting it to seem like he was bragging.

"Ah! The Canucks!"

"See, you know a bit about other teams," he teased.

"Shhh," she giggled. "Your family... they seem very... what's the word... talented."

"Guess you could say that."

She took another sip of her drink, her mind buzzing with questions to ask, but none of them coming to her in English. She wanted to ask more about his brothers, about how he started playing hockey, but her mouth just couldn't keep up with her brain. She also didn't want to come off as rude or obsessed with him because of his title, so she just nodded.

"You don't have to worry, you know. I'm not judging you," Luke comforted. "So, what do you do when you're learning English or watching the Habs? You got any other hobbies?"

"I like to... read. And bake... when I have time."

"Reading and baking," Luke mused. "What do you bake?"

"Everything," she giggled. "Tarte au sucre is my preferred. My mom... she always bakes with me."

"Tarte au sucre? What's that? Sugar pie?" Luke's eyes lit up. "You'll have to make me that one day. I've never had it."

"Maybe. You will have to see."

"Challenge accepted."

Amélie went to respond, but her phone buzzing stopped her. It was her friends calling, probably ready to head on to another bar. She didn't want her conversation with Luke to end, but she knew she couldn't stay there all night.

"I have to go. My friends... waiting," she sighed.

Luke's face fell a little but he nodded. "Yeah, I get it. But I, uh, this was fun."

"Me too."

There was silence for a little, neither of them wanting to be the first to say goodbye. "You should give me... your phone number. So you can try my tarte au sucre."

"Sounds like a plan," Luke said, handing his phone over for her. She typed in her name and phone number, adding a '<3' next to Amélie.

"Text me," she giggled, waving goodbye as she joined the other girls at the bar. Luke watched as the four of them started talking amongst themselves quickly, giggling as Amélie told them about her conversation with the hockey player.

He finally stood up, making his way back over to the table where his teammates were sat. Curtis raised an eyebrow at him, a smirk plastered on his face.

"Well, how'd it go, Romeo?" He leaned forward, failing to conceal his grin.

Luke rolled his eyes, "Good, actually. Really good."

Nico raised his pint, "Told you. You just had to go for it."

"So... what's next?" Curtis nudged him. "You ask for her number?"

Luke nodded, trying to play it cool. "Yeah, we'll probably meet up again."

"Probably?"

"Okay, fine. Yeah, we'll see each other again. I'm going to try her sugar pie she was talking about."

"Sugar pie? Is that what we're calling it nowadays?" Nico teased, causing the whole table to erupt in laughter.

Luke shook his head, letting the teasing slide. His mind was too focused on the girl with a French accent and promises of baking him pie. He had to see her again.

~~

Luke found texting Amélie way easier than he'd imagined. She wasn't lying when she said her writing was better than her speaking. Her texts barely ever had mistakes, in fact sometimes they were worded better than his.

They texted back and forth constantly, which earned Luke some teasing from his colleagues. In writing, Amélie was much more confident, returning his flirting with practiced ease. Her personality really shone through in a way it hadn't at the bar. She'd occasionally crack jokes, usually about how he didn't know any French and that she'd have to teach him. Their conversations flowed, talking about their days, sharing stories, discussing the schoolwork that Amélie had, and sometimes sharing pictures of their meals. Although Jack did most of Luke's cooking, he'd never admit that to the girl.

You have to come and try my tarte au sucre soon! Only if you're brave enough though ;)

Luke grinned at his phone, his fingers furiously typing back a reply.

Oh, I'm brave enough. Just let me know when, and I'll be there.

I will. Maybe next week? I need to make sure it's perfect first.

Deal.

~~

Amélie paced her apartment, making sure that everything was in order before Luke came over. She was even more nervous than she had been in the bar. She really wanted things to go well. They had decided to label the event as their first date, and although a bit informal, she was still shitting herself.

The pie was sitting on her kitchen island, untouched. She didn't want to eat any of it until Luke was there to eat it with her. She was worried he'd get in trouble because it wasn't part of his meal plan for work, but he had reassured it multiple times that it wasn't a big deal if he had a little pie.

Just as she was about to rearrange her throw pillows for the third time, there was a knock at her door. She froze mid-step, wiping her hands on her jeans as she made her way to the door.

It was just a pie. And it was just Luke. Nothing to be too worried about.

She hesitated for a moment before she pulled the door open, tilting her head back to look up at Luke. He was standing there in a Devils hoodie and some track pants, a baseball cap covering his curls. He looked relaxed, his hands tucked in the pocket of his hoodie. Amélie hated how nonchalant he looked in comparison to her.

"Hey," he greeted. "I brough my appetite, as promised."

"Good. I hope you are ready," she joked, stepping out of the way to let him in. He pulled off his shoes, taking in her cozy apartment. He laughed when his eyes landed on the big Québec flag hung behind her couch.

"I'm sure it'll be amazing. I'm looking forward to it, don't worry."

She nodded, though her nerves didn't disappear. She led him into the kitchen where the pie sat waiting. The smell of it filled the small space, warm and sweet.

"Wow, looks good, Am. Guess you weren't kidding about being a good baker."

"It's like you with hockey. My talent," she giggled, blushing as their eyes met.

"I don't know. Your baking skills may be miles ahead of my hockey skills."

"Don't lie. Let's see if it tastes as good as the smell," she grabbed a knife, finally cutting the pie into pieces. She placed a generous slice in front of Luke, taking in how comfortable he looked in the situation. She really admired how easygoing he was compared to her. It was their first date, but his demeanor made it seem like they'd been seeing each other for months. Meanwhile, her heart hadn't stopped racing since she opened the door minutes before.

Luke picked up his fork, flashing her a grin before taking his first bite. His eyes widened and he let out a pleased hum, "Holy shit, this is so good."

"You like it?"

"Are you kidding? This is like the best dessert I've ever had... don't tell my mom I said that. But really, Amélie, you've ruined all other pies for me. Can I take some home to show Jack?"

"Of course! I'm glad you like it. Is my mom's recipe."

"You should probably teach me how to make this, so I don't have to beg you every time I want some."

"I wouldn't mind," she giggled, taking a bite of her own slice. The taste reminded her of home and she suddenly felt a lot less nervous about messing up her English in front of Luke. They continued to eat their pie as they talked, shifting the conversation to more personal topics, wanting to know everything about each other.

Luke told stories about growing up with his brothers, sharing embarrassing moments from their childhoods and the occasional hockey-related mishap. Amélie found herself laughing more than she had since she'd arrived in America, her body filling with warmth.

"And that's how Jack ended up chipping his tooth. Our mom was furious, but Quinn and I thought it was hilarious," Luke explained, shaking his head at the memory.

She laughed, her shoulders shaking. "You and your brother... troublemakers," she teased, resting her chin on her hand as she listened to him talk. God, she could listen to Luke talk for hours. His accent was the cutest thing she'd ever heard and his smile curved up more on one side than the other, almost like a smirk. He was so perfect.

"Yeah, we were. Still are, I guess. But what about you? You got any fun stories about your family?"

"One time my dad, he take us to Montréal for a Habs game. And my older brother he had... he liked one girl he saw. But she was anglophone, no French. He goes up to her and he tries to talk English. But it was soooo bad. Even worse than me. He only knew maybe like three word. I think he said like 'Hey, you pretty, drink?' and she looked at him like he was... insane! He... he panicked and ran away. We bullied him for years after. Our dad, he will still talk about it at dinner sometime."

"That's brutal," Luke laughed. "Glad our first conversation didn't go like that."

"I am just better than him."

Luke shook his head, flashing his lopsided smile that made Amélie swoon. "Clearly. You've got the charm, no doubt about it."

"Maybe a little. But still I get nervous. When you arrive, I think maybe that I would die."

"You hid it well. I didn't even notice. I was the nervous one."

"You? Nervous?" she raised an eyebrow, placing her fork between her lips .

"Yeah, you were... well you are, like the prettiest girl I've ever met," he rubbed the back of his neck. "Didn't want to mess it up."

"Is that a joke? You did not... mess up. I like talking with you."

"I like talking with you too, Amélie"

~~

It was their fourth date and they were back at Amélie's apartment. Luke was sprawled out on the couch, his feet propped up on the coffee table as he playfully scrolled through one of Amélie's French-to-English learning apps.

"Come on, give me a word," Luke teased, turning to look at the girl sitting beside him with her legs tucked under her.

"Alright. Alright. Um... try... 'papillon.'"

Luke squinted, trying his hardest to translate it. "Papillon," he reapted slowly. "Uh... sounds like pasta, maybe? Wait, no, wait... um, balloon?"

She let a burst of laughter, learning back against the arm of the couch. "Non! It's butterfly!"

He groaned dramatically, throwing his head back in mock anguish. "Butterfly?! That doesn't even sound like butterfly! What?!"

"You are needing more practice," she giggled, comfortly placing a hand on his thigh.

Luke's eyes widened at her touch, but he couldn't help but smile. "Yeah, clearly I need a lot more practice. You might have to become my full-time tutor."

Amélie smiled, her fingers lingering on his thigh, sending a warmth through both of them. They'd been spending more and more time together, and things were less awkward, but still full of nervousness. The banter between them was easy, but there was an ever-growing tension gnawing at them both.

Luke reached for a throw pillow next to him, lightly tossing it at her. "Give me another one. I swear I'll get it this time."

She swatted the pillow away, but her focus had moved on from French. The space between them had slowly been shrinking and she had just noticed how close they were. She tilted her head, her eyes flickering up to meet Luke's. "I think... maybe you are better at other things than French."

Luke's grin faltered, his breath catching in his throat at her new tone. He glanced down at her hand still resting on his thigh, then back at her face, then back to her hand again. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"Like... this."

Before he could question what she meant, she leaned in, her lips brushing his, testing the waters. The kiss was soft, hesitant, but the second their lips connected, everything they'd been holding back snapped into place.

Luke's hands moved to her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss deepened quickly, no longer hesitant, but instead filled with the feelings they'd been dancing around for weeks. Amélie sighed against his mouth, her hands sliding up to his chest, gripping his shirt in his fists. Luke groaned softly, the sound muffled by her lips.

Their kisses turned hungrier, more urgent, as the tension in the room built. Luke shifted, gently pushing Amélie back against the couch as he leaned over her, his body pressing against hers as their kisses grew sloppier. Her hands tangled in his hair, pulling him closer, and Luke's hands slid up to cradle her face, his thumb brushing her cheek as the kiss deepened.

Neither of them wanted to pull away, not wanting to be the first to end the kiss. Luke realized he couldn't hold his breath any longer. He gasped for air before kissing her again, harder this time, his lips moving with more urgency than before. Amélie let out a soft, breathless moan in reponse.

They pulled away again, their foreheads resting against each other as they tried to catch their breath. Luke brushed a strand of her hair, that had gotten stuck between them, out of her face. His eyes were still half-closed as he whispered, "I've wanted to kiss you for so long."

Amélie smiled, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to fill her lungs with air. She looked up at him, her lips still tingling. "Me too. I... I did not expect it to feel... like that."

"Good or bad?"

"Good," she whispered, her fingers tracing the back of his neck before pulling him in again, her lips finding his once more. There was no hesitation this time, just unfiltered desire as they gave in to the kiss.

~~

"Where you goin'?" Jack asked, pausing his video game as he heard Luke head for the door. He turned around, noticing his brother wearing his Michigan backpack. "And why do you have a backpack?"

"Amélie's place. I'm spending the night."

"Damn, Lukey boy's finally getting laid."

"Shut up, Jack... there's no confirmation that that's what happening. She just asked if I wanted to sleep over."

Jack smirked, leaning back on the couch with a knowing look. "Uh-huh, sure. You don't pack a bag just to sleep over, bro."

Luke rolled his eyes, adjusting the straps of his bag. "It's not like that. We're just hanging out, maybe watching a movie or something."

Jack snorted. "Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, lover boy. But just in case, be safe."

"It's not like that," Luke groaned, grabbing his keys off the counter, trying to escape Jack's teasing.

"I'm just saying! Good luck, bud!"

Luke mumbled to himself as he stepped into the hallway, heading for the elevator to the parking garage. His heart was racing more than usual, not just because of Jack's teasing but because tonight did feel different. Spending a night together was a big step in their relationship, especially since they weren't officially official yet.

They hadn't even discussed labels yet, and although they were very close, there was an unspoken worry of figuring out where things were heading. Luke really, really liked her, but he didn't want to rush anything. If Amélie wanted to take things slow, then he would take things slow.

He sat in his car, getting ready to leave when his phone buzzed.

Just picked out a movie. Hope you like rom-coms ;)

Only if we watch it in French so I can practice

Deal.

When he pulled up to her building, he practically leaped out of the car, taking his backpack with him. He knocked on her door, his heart in his throat.

Just go with the flow. No pressure

Amélie giggled when she opened the front door, dressed in one of Luke's Devils hoodies and a pair of shorts he couldn't see from under the large sweatshirt.

"Hey. You look cute," he leaned down to kiss her.

"Hey! Missed you."

"It's only been three days," he laughed, allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist, propping her chin on his chest. "You ready for my horrible French?"

"Ready for anything," she giggled as he ran a hand through her hair.

They stood in the doorway for a few moments more, before she grasped his hand and pulled him into the living room. They settled on the couch, a blanket thrown over their entwined legs.

"Am, I've been thinking..." his thumb brushing lightly against her thigh. "I don't want to overthink it anymore than I already have, but... we've been spending lots of time together. And I really like you."

"I like you too, Luke. A lot."

"Good. Because... I want this to be official. I mean, us. I want us to be official. I don't wanna be just 'hanging out' or 'seeing where things go' anymore. I want you to be my girlfriend." His voice softened at the end, his heart out on a silver platter just for her.

"You really want that?" she gushed.

Luke nodded, "Yeah. I want you. I want... us."

"I want that too," she smiled, shuffling impossibly closer to him, pecking his lips.

Luke pulled her back in for a deeper kiss, relief flooding his body. When they pulled apart, Amélie rested her forehead against his, her fingers gripping the front of his hoodie.

"So, it is official?" she whispered.

"Officially official. You're my girlfriend now."

She kissed him again, laughing into his mouth. "Well... now that we have... figured that out. You have French to practice... boyfriend."

"Let's get started then, girlfriend."

~~

"So... when do I get to meet her?" Jack grinned, knocking Luke's shoulder.

"Oh, um, I can ask her."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "You can ask her?" he teased. "What, you haven't mentioned me?"

Luke sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. "I have, Jack. I just... didn't think you'd be so excited."

"Dude, of course I'm excited! My little brother has a girlfriend now! And you know I've gotta approve, see if she's good for you. Duh."

"She's not a test subject, Jack. I'm not bringing her so you can interrogate her."

Jack snickered, loving how flustered his brother was getting. "Relax, I'll be nice. In fact, bring her out with us and the guys this weekend. Some of the other girlfriends will be there."

"I can ask her. Just... don't be weird about it. She get's nervous."

"Me? Weird about it? Never. I'm charming."

"That's what I'm worried about."

"Come on, it'll be fun. She'll get to meet everyone, and you know the guys will love her. Plus, if she can survive a night out with us, she's a keeper."

"Look, I'll ask. But I know she's been busy with schoolwork. I'll ask her tonight. But seriously, Jack, don't freak her out. Please."

"Scout's honour, man. I'll be on my best behaviour."

"You're not a-- never mind. I'll let you know what she says."

~~

Luke laid next to Amélie in her bed, his arm draped over her waist. She was scrolling through TikTok, laughing at French words he didn't know yet. He pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder, peeking at the screen where some girl was speaking rapid French while doing her make up.

"Hey, Am."

"Hmm?"

"So... Jack and some of the guys are going out this weekend, and a few of the girlfriends will be there too," he paused, thinking over his next words. "Jack was, uh, wondering when he could meet you. He kind of suggested you come along."

She blinked, "Meet... all of your friends? This weekend?"

"No pressure! If you're too busy with school, I totally get it. I just thought it might be fun. Only if you want to, of course," Luke quickly added.

She bit her lip, thinking it over, and Luke could tell she was weighing her options. "I'm nervous. I would... like to meet Jack. To be... part of your world."

He pulled her body closer to his, pressing more kisses to her shoulder. "You're already part of my world, Am. And trust me, Jack's been bugging me about meeting you since our first date. He's... well, he's Jack. But he means well."

"Okay. I will come. But if Jack, he makes me feel awkward, you owe me a very good dinner."

Luke laughed, "Deal. And don't worry, I'll be there the whole time. Plus, survivng Jack means you can survive anything."

~~

"C'est très cute, non?" Amélie asked, showing her outfit off to Luke.

"You look like a millon bucks, baby," he replied, leaning down to kiss her.

"What?"

"It's... it's a saying."

She tilted her head slightly, repeating the words back to herself. "A million... bucks."

Luke thought her accent made it all the more adorable. "It means you look beautiful. Like super, super beautiful."

"English says, they are so strange. First you tell me it rains cats and dogs... now I look like I am money. You explain me all of these sometimes, yes?"

"Of course, baby. But I mean it, you looks amazing."

"Thanks, Lu. We should go?"

"If we have to," Luke pouted, leaning down to give her another kiss.

~~

Amélie gripped the straps of her purse so tightly that her knuckles were white. She had never felt so nervous in her life, not even on their first date. She had so many people to impress tonight and probably less than half the words they had in their vocabularies.

Luke was quick to notice her anxiety. She usually walked with so much confidence, but her posture was slumped and her lip was held between her teeth. "Hey, you okay?"

She nodded, but her choked voice betrayed her. "I... I don't know if I can do this."

"You'll be fine, Am," he whispered, brushing his thumb over her cheek. "Jack's going to love you, I can promise you that. And it's just a few of the guys--nothing big. And hey, some of them aren't even native English speakers themselves."

Her eyes were still full of uncertainty, her fingers busying themselves by picking at the skin around her nails. "But maybe I will say something wrong. Or they ask me things, and I do not understand them? Or they will all laugh at me."

"You've been doing so well with your English, love. And if you're ever feeling stuck, just squeeze my hand and I'll come to your rescue."

The bar was pretty empty for the most part, just a few tables of friends talking and sharing drinks. In the back corner, Jack was sitting with a few of the other guys and their better halves.

"There they are!" Jack cheered as soon as he saw them approaching, standing up to greet his brother as if he hadn't seen him in weeks. His tone was loud and confident, and Amélie could feel every set of eyes at the table move towards her and Luke.

Luke gave his brother a quick bro-hug before turning to his girlfriend. "Jack, this is Amélie. Am, this is my brother, Jack."

Amélie felt like all the moisture in her mouth had disappeared, her hand gripping Luke's with a vice-like strength. She opened her mouth to speak, but all her words got stuck. "I, uh, I... hi."

"Nice to meet you, Amélie," Jack said. "Luke's told me loads about you."

She gave him a tight lipped smile, her mind scrambling to find a response, but nothing came. She felt like the weight of everyone's expectations were holding her down. She wanted to wow everyone with perfect English, but all she could do was stand there, frozen.

"She, uh, she's a little nervous," Luke interjected. "Amélie's from Québec, she's here in Jersey to learn English. But her French is like the most impressive shit ever."

"No worries. We're just happy you're here," Nico spoke up.

Amélie forced a smile, but it didn't reach her eyes. She sat down beside Luke, her hand still gripping his with immense force. The conversation around the table picked back up, but she remained quiet.

The guys were easygoing, laughing and joking with each other, and the other girlfriends seemed just as relaxed. The more they spoke though, the harder it became for her to follow. She could pick up on bits and pieces of what was going on, but she couldn't seem to form a complete sentence in her head.

"So, how do you like Jersey so far?" one of the other girlfriends, Lexi, asked with a warm smile.

"It... it's very different. But I... I like it," she replied, her eyes not leaving Luke's hand in her lap.

"She thinks back home is wayyyy prettier. Right, babe?" Luke helped to direct her.

"Yes. Québec is very beautiful."

"So what brought you here?" Jack asked, desperately wanting to know more about the girl that had stolen his brother's heart. "School?"

She bit her lip, trying her best to think of how to reply in English. "Yes... I.... study at Rutgers. Exchange."

"That's awesome. What're you studying?"

Her mind went completely blank. She'd even rehearsed answering that exact question, but now, with everyone looking at her, the words were gone. Her hand tightened around Luke's again, taking a sip of water to clear her throat.

"She's studying communications and media. But the point of her exchange is to work on her English skills."

"That's sick," Jack nodded along.

The conversation around her continued, a few questions being tossed her way but her responses were usually just a few words, the gaps being filled in by Luke. The group eventually moved on to a story that Nico was telling, and Amélie used the shift of attention to shrink into herself further. She let Luke rest his hand on her bouncing knee in an attempt to calm her nerves, but his touch felt foreign in the situation.

After what felt like hours, but had most likely only been half an hour, she leaned close to Luke, whispering in his ear. "Je vais aux toilettes." She stood up before he could respond, scurrying off to the bathroom.

Jack shot Luke a curious glance, but he just shrugged, trying to mask his own worry.

Amélie slipped into the bathroom, pressing her hands against the sink as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She felt like she was suffocating, her eyes burning with unshed tears. She hated feeling like an outsider, not being able to connect with Luke's world outside of her.

She wiped under her eyes, praying that her mascara didn't run. She didn't want anyone to know she'd been crying in the bathroom. She just wanted to be like the other girls at the table--relaxed and confident, going with the flow of the conversation.

With one last deep breath, she made her way back to the table. Luke looked up at her as she approached. He could tell something was off.

"Everything okay?"

She just nodded, falling back into her silence at the table. She laughed when everyone else laughed, smiling politely when someone made a remark towards her. Luke had never seen her so quiet in his life, not even on the first day that they met. By the time everyone had left the bar, her anxiety was so bad she thought she might puke.

Luke opened the car door for her, and she slid in, staring blankly out the window. The silence between them was heavy. Luke could feel it too, his fingers tapping nervously on the steering wheel.

"Am, what's wrong? You've been quiet all night. You barely said a thing."

The tears that she had been fighting so hard to keep at bay finally spilled out. "I... I feel so stupid. I-I couldn't even talk to them. I couldn't even... act normal."

He reached out, placing a hand on her thigh. His heart clenched at her words. "You're not stupid, Am. You're doing amazing. You're learning a whole new language, that's huge."

"But I had to have you help on everything. I could... not even answer Jack's questions. They normally think... I'm dumb. Not good for you." She wiped at her eyes, frustrated with herself for crying.

"Amélie, baby. No one thinks you're dumb. And you are more than good enough for me--don't you ever doubt that. Jack loved meeting you. Everyone did. I could tell. They don't care if you need some help speaking English. Hell, some of those guys could use the help speaking English."

"I wanted... to be better. To show I can do this. But I feel...lost."

"You don't have to show anyone that you can do anything. Not to me, not to Jack, not to anyone. I love you for--"

"You love me?"

"Of course I do, Am. I... I didn't want to admit it like this. But... I am so in love with you, Amélie."

"I love you too, Luke. Sorry if I... embarrass you tonight."

"You could never embarrass me, Am. Never ever."

"I-"

"Nope, that's enough out of you. Let's go back to yours and watch that stupid cop show you like."

"Mensonges?"

"If that's what it's called, then yes."

"I love you, Lu."

"I love you too, Am."

~~

"I don't know, Jack. She was so nervous last time..."

"But last time there were other people there too. Just tell her you've got the place to yourself for the night and then I'll walk in a couple hours later and be like 'Oh! Sorry, my plans got cancelled.' And then we can all hangout," Jack suggested.

"I'm not going to lie to her. I'll just ask if she wants to spend the night."

"Come on, Rusty! You know I'm just trying to help her relax around me. You're making it sound like a big deal. It's not! She's your girlfriend, and I want to get to know her. Plus, I'll make it fun! I'm good with people."

"I appreciate the thought, Jack. But I want her to feel comfortable, not tricked. So I'll just ask her if she wants to come over and spend the night. No tricks."

"Fine, fine. Let me know what she says."

"I will. Just... don't be an idiot."

~~

Amélie followed Luke into his apartment, her backpack thrown over his shoulder. She looked around, noticing how painfully obvious it was that two men lived there.

"I'm just gonna put your bag in my room. You wanna go make yourself comfortable on the couch?"

"Sure."

She sat down, curling her legs under herself, glancing around the living room. She picked up the remote off the coffee table, fiddling with while she waited for Luke.

"You good?"

"Yeah. Just... taking in. It is very... you."

"What, you mean messy?"

She giggled, then tension in her shoulders disappearing. "Maybe... un peu."

"Hey, it's organized chaos, baby. I know where everything is. Well... most of the time."

"I like it. Feels... comfortable. Like you."

"That's all I want, babe. For you to be comfortable."

"Where's Jack?"

"Probably in his room. Why? Wanna talk with him?"

Amélie quickly shook her head, her eyes widening. "No, no... just wonder. I don't want to... bother him."

"You're not bothering him. He's probably playing video games or doing some stupid shit. He'll come out here eventually."

The last time she'd been around Jack, she hadn't been able to shake her nerves. Tonight, she was determined to make a better impression, even if she still felt like puking.

Luke gently nudged her with his elbow. "Hey, you're good, Am. Jack's chill. You don't have to be nervous."

"I know... just... want him to like me."

"He already likes you," Luke reassured, brushing a strand of hair from her face. "He wouldn't shut up about how cool you were after the last time."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I wouldn't lie to you, silly."

"Love you, Lu."

"Love you too," he leaned in to kiss her when footsteps pulled them apart.

"Aww, did I interrupt a moment?" Jack's teasing voice came from the doorway.

"Relax, Jack. We were just talking... about you."

"Oh yeah?" Jack pushed himself off the wall, making his way to the couch. "All good things, I hope."

"Duh," Luke squeezed Amélie's hand, allowing her to rest her head on his shoulder. "Amélie was just asking what you were up to."

"Probably nothing interesting compared to you lovebirds. Was talking to Trevor--can't let Luke get ahead of me in the whole having a life department."

She tried to think of a quick response to his joke, but came up with nothing she deemed funny enough.

"Luke tells me you like studying here cause it's different. How so?"

"Um, everything... is feeling bigger here. The city, the campus. And obviously... English. There is like... zero English in my town. We use some words... but not lots."

"Well, seems like you're doing great. Don't stress it. Plus you've got this guy," he gestured to Luke, "to help you out, right?"

She blushed, "Yes, Lu is... super."

Luke grinned, leaning in and whispering, "Told you he likes you."

~~

"I don't know how I'm gonna survive without you, Am," Luke admitted, wiping the tears from his face. His usually calm, relaxed demeanor was gone, replaced with a raw vulnerability.

Amélie had told herself she wasn't going to cry, but seeing Luke cry made that impossible. Her tears had started as soon as his had. "You will, Lu. You are so strong. And... I will not be gone forever."

He shook his head, intertwining their fingers. "I know, but... shit's gonna feel so different without you here. I'm used to having you here all the time. And now I won't see you until summer. I don't know how to do that."

"You'll have Jack, the guys, your family. I'm just... a plane away. We will FaceTime, and before you know... I am back. And I will meet Quinn... and your parents."

Luke rested his head in her lap, letting her run her fingers through his hair. She could feel his tears soaking the fabric of her jeans. "I'm gonna miss you so fucking much, Am."

"I'll miss you too, Lu. So, so much."

They stayed like that for a long time, just wrapped in each other's embraces. Neither of them wanted to let go. Neither of them wanted to admit how hard the next few months would be. They just wanted to stay together... forever.

~~

Amélie was sitting at her desk, her phone propped up against her water bottle as Luke's face filled the screen. His hair was a mess and his eyes drooping. She could tell he had just gotten home from practice.

"Hey, beautiful," he greeted.

"Hey, you," she replied, resting her chin on her hand. "How was practice?"

"Exhausting," he groaned. "But seeing your face makes it better."

Amélie blushed, biting her lip as she smiled. Before she could respond, she heard her brothers' voices coming from down the hall.

"Ah, c'est qui, Amélie?" (who is it, Amélie?)

"Son chum?" the other laughed. (her boyfriend?)

"Ahhh, mais Luke, t'es ben chix." (Ahhh, but Luke, you're so hot.)

"Ferme ta gueule!" Amélie shouted. (Shut your mouth!)

Luke burst out laughing at the look on his girlfriend's face. "What're they saying?"

She huffed, rolling her eyes. "They're being idiots. Teasing me about you."

"Teasing, huh?" He raised an eyebrow, clearly amused. "What did they say? Come on, tell me."

She sighed, getting closer to the camera with a small smirk. "They said you're... how would that translate.... that you're 'hot.'"

"Oh, did they know? You must have good pictures of me hanging up then, huh?"

"They're just being annoying. They think it's funny to tease me because I love an American."

"Well, tell them I appreciate the compliment. And tell them I say 'hi'," he teased.

Amélie shook her head but shouted, "Luke dit bonjour!"

From the hallway, her brothers responded with exaggerated greetings in their broken English, making the couple laugh.

"They're something else, huh? I can't wait to meet them one day."

"They'll probably want you to ask Cole for free Habs tickets. But... in a few weeks, I'll be back and I'll get to meet all of your family."

Luke's eye lit up at the thought. "I know! I've been counting down the days, baby. I can't wait for you to be here again!"

"Me neither. Excited to meet Quinn and your parents."

"Yeah, my mom's super excited to meet you!"

"I'm a little nervous though."

"Don't be! They are gonna love you so much, Am!"

"I love you, Lu."

"I love you more, Amélie. Only a few more weeks, then we'll be together again. I can't wait."

"You promise?"

"I promise. And I'm gonna spoil you so much. Just you, me, and the lake."

"Can't wait."

[writersmess]

DEATH WISH LOVE | EVAN BUCKLEY

gif credit

Pairing: Evan Buckley x fem!reader

Summary: Buck never thought he could love someone like that. Especially not someone with the same death wish love as him.

Warning: Anxiety crisis, near-death experience, hospital, crying, ansgt.

Word count: 2.5K

a/n: My God, I can't believe it's taken me over a year to get back. I missed this place so much. It's been an intense, crazy year. I finally got my dream job at the best hospital in Latin America. I'm so happy, but at the same time it's demanded everything of me, working long shifts almost every day, but its the price I have to pay. I hope you like this one, it was based on the song Death Wish Love by Benson Boone, which as soon as I heard it I immediately imagined something with our dear Buck. I confess I thought I'd do something angsty, but I don't think I have that capacity, he already suffers so much that I just wanted him to have a happy ending this time.

Masterlist

................................

You were the new firefighter in 118, and also new to the city. In order to follow your dreams, you left your hometown with everyone and everything you knew. You craved for bigger things, you wanted the big city, you wanted Los Angeles.

The team welcomed you with open arms, which was unusual to you. You weren’t used to this or neither known by your affectionate gestures, but apparently everything was an excuse for a hug at the station. It was a bit hard to get used to all this affection, especially when you came from a place where you were always by yourself.

That was one of the main reasons you became a firefighter, you have walked through fire every single day of your life, why not make it your profession?

You were a source of curiosity between the team, always so quiet and so resistant to everyone's affection. It was hard to win you over. Especially because you had a rather difficult personality, you were fearless at work, you weren't afraid to go into the fire to save lives, you did it without thinking twice.

To Bobby you were a cause for concern, and sometimes the reason why he was having trouble sleeping. He knew this personality very well. It was the same one he had struggled for years to learn to deal with, the one he had to fight with so many times, he was very familiar with this death wish love, it was the same as Buck’s.

The blue-eyed man on the other side, couldn't understand why he couldn't take his eyes off you. Ever since you arrived a few months ago, your image has been running through Buck’s mind. You've become a challenge for him. But not in a bad way, he wanted to get to know you, he wanted to understand you. But you didn't make things any easier for him, especially when today was the first time he'd seen you laugh.

"You're drooling" he snapped back to reality when he heard Eddie mocking next to him.

"Shut up" Buck said, turning his gaze back to you playing with his niece.

You had a beauty he couldn't explain, an angelic one. You had this steely gaze and looking at you felt like suicide. He would fall to his knees if you asked him to. How could someone so delicate also be so dangerous?

The way you were reluctant to follow Bobby's orders, you'd walk into the fire without a second thought. You would take risks without thinking about your own safety, just thinking about everyone else. He saw how hard you worked, he saw how mad Bobby got when he ordered the building to be evacuated and you were always the last one to leave. You were intriguing and he was fascinated.

It was so strange for you. Being in Maddie's living room, with everyone gathered together like a big family, laughing and telling funny stories. The team met once a week, with all the families together, the children running around the living room, the smell of food in the air, the voices, the laughter.

You accepted the invitation after a few months of refusing, and now you spent the week looking forward to the moment when you would be together again.

Sometimes when you got home from a meeting, you cried. You cried because you never had that, you never had anyone who cared about you. You were an unexpected pregnancy, your parents didn't planned you, they didn't want you and that was never a secret to anyone.

And that's why you were surprised when one day you arrived early at the station and Hen had a cake for you that you had once said reminded of what your grandmother used to bake.

Or when another one Eddie handed you a drawing that Chris made specifically for you. Of the two of you playing together.

Or when Maddie sent you, through Chim, the cookies you said you loved one day while you were having coffee together.

Or when Bobby invited you to have lunch with him and Athena on a Sunday ‘cause he knew you were going to do it alone.

Or when Buck gave you a book he'd heard you say was your favorite during a conversation.

*

It was mid-afternoon on a Sunday. Your hands were shaking, your heart pounding. The words your father had once spoken echoed in your mind. "You will never be loved". But you were at a table with 118's entire family, and you felt loved. Maddie told you about the gossip from her work. Karen hugged you from the side every time you passed by her. Hen included you in every conversation. Athena calmly answered all the questions you were curious about her work. So why did you feel like an imposter? Why was your father's voice echoing inside your head? Why were you on the verge of an anxiety attack?

"I'll be right back" you muttered to the girls, but you realized how shaky your voice sounded. You were pathetic.

You barely made it to the bathroom, your legs buckled and you sat down in the corner of the room. You could hardly breathe, it was hard to pull in the air. Tears streamed down your face. Your heart was racing. Your hands were shaking.

You heard your voice being called from outside. Damn. You couldn't calm down, your hand was on your chest as if it could make the pain go away.

"Hey, hey. I'm here. Calm down, I’ve got you" it was Buck.

His voice was just a whisper in your ear. You let a sob escape your lips. Pathetic. You felt his arms around you, until you were all wrapped up in his arms. Why was he doing that? Why did he care?

He stayed there until you stopped crying. You were still in his arms, and it was so warm, so safe. Sighs came from your lips, and you couldn't imagine what a mess Buck's head and heart were in. He wanted you in his arms, not just now.

"I'm sorry," you whispered and tried to pull away, but he wouldn't let you, so you stayed.

"You don't have to talk about what's going on in there, but the day you feel like you need a hug to cry into, you've got mine" your eyes filled with tears again. "And don't ever apologize for it"

*

The smiles on your lips were becoming constant. And it was Buck's favorite image. You were letting people through your armor, you were letting your guard down, and it felt good. You now baked pies and cakes for the station on your days off, recipes learned from the girls after a few long afternoons of chatting and coffee.

Your laughter was contagious, and the boys would always crack little jokes to get them out of you.

Your eyes were now looking out for a pair of blue ones, all the time, everywhere. Eyes that were always looking back at you. Your hands were always looking for an excuse to bump into Buck's, just to feel that shiver run down your spine every time. And he would find any reason to text you, until the excuses became routine. You woke up every day with a good morning message and went to bed with a good night one. The little touches now became big gestures, Buck loved to brush your hair out of your face and tuck them behind your ear. And you loved to run your hand over the birthmark above his eye. You loved when his warm lips traveled up your neck to your lips. You loved when his hands ran over your body always so slowly and so gently, bringing goosebumps wherever they went. You loved making love with him. How he worshiped your body, how much he worshiped you. The way he made you feel loved.

You had a hold on Buck, and you didn't even know it. He had become attached to you, attached to the idea of having you by his side. The nights with you were the ones he could truly rest in, the mornings where he woke up to your soft kisses on his face, were the ones he would keep forever in his mind.

But he could feel that you were still resisting his feelings, and he was terrified of losing you. Buck was in love with you. It took months for him to realize that, but he did it. He loved you.

But one thing has never changed. And as Buck followed the loud murmurs coming from Bobby’s office, where he knew you were at, he kept in mind the danger you were in at every call. He couldn't lose you.

"Hey, what happe-" he couldn't finish the sentence when he saw you walking out the door, since you brushed past him, bumping into his shoulder, without even looking him in the face.

Buck made his way to the room, where he saw his captain wiping his hands across his face, letting out an exhausted sigh.

"She'll end up dead if she keep acting like this, Buck"

"I know"

"After the last call, if she doesn't change her behavior, I'll be forced to suspend her."

"I know."

Buck couldn't lose you.

You couldn't talk to Buck yet, you were so nervous after your conversation with Bobby. You were trying your best, how could he tell you that you had a death wish love? You were saving lives, and it didn't matter if it cost you your own. You didn't care.

A new call ecoed through the station. It was something big. A fire in a shed. People were working at the time, so there were many likely victims. You were anxious, just as you were before any call, but you were ready for it. You were born ready.

"Be careful," Buck told you before you got off the truck and you nodded. You were always careful "I love you"

You turned surprised to Buck, you'd never said that to each other before. It disconcerted you.

"Buck, I-"

Before you could say anything, you heard Bobby calling you to give instructions and you had to run.

I love you.

The words echoed in your head as you entered the burning building. No one had ever said that to you. You didn't even know the weight those words carried.

"Sir, follow this path and the fireman will take you to the exit."

It was so hot. You'd already lost count of how many people you'd pulled out of the line of fire. Your head was heavy. It was getting hard to breathe.

"Evacuate the building now," you could hear Cap saying over the radio. Everyone agreed and gave their location. You were about to respond when you heard something.

It was a call for help.

You could have sworn it was a call for help.

"Captain, I'm in the east side, I hear someone screaming for help. I'm close, I can get them out"

"Negative, the building will collapse at any moment. Get out immediately"

Your vision was blurred.

I love you.

You couldn't go out and leave those people to die, so you went ahead. The way to the door was difficult, there was a lot of rubble, and when you opened it, you froze in place.

It was empty. The fire danced in front of you, mocking you. But the cries for help... you've never been so wrong before.

I love you.

“It’s empty” you murmured at the radio.

Bobby was shouting your name from the other end of the radio. You turned around, but it was so hard to breathe. You tried to find your way back, but everything was spinning. Buck was now calling your name.

I love you.

His words were running through your head. Your steps were now slow. The way out, you couldn't find the way out. You could hear the fire laughing at you. Stupid. Pathetic. You heard an explosion behind you, and it threw you off balance, bringing you to the ground. You'd been walking through fire all your life, and now it would finally take its place back. Your siren buzzed in your ears. That would be the end of you.

I love you too, Buck.

The moment Buck came out of the building and didn't see you outside, he tried to go back. But hands held him in place.

This couldn't be happening. No, no.

Bobby called your name on the radio and you didn't answer. It's empty. That was the last answer they got. You weren't answering. An explosion. On the east side, where you were.

Buck's knees gave way, and he went down. All eyes were on the exit of the building waiting for you, waiting for a miracle. But it never came.

Buck screamed, and he would scream until his lungs gave up.

Time seemed to stop. Buck's screams were the only noise to be heard. And another explosion. Tears rolled down trough some faces. No one could believe it. This couldn't be happening.

Buck couldn't lose you like this.

"We found her" some voice echoed over the radio.

Buck's heart could stop any second now.

But the building was collapsing.

He broke free from his friends and ran into the building, dodging all the fallen and burnt obstacles, and he saw you. You were in the arms of a fireman. He ran up to you and carried you out of the building. As soon as you stepped onto the sidewalk, the building collapsed. Buck held you in his arms with all his strength and ran, feeling the debris fly past you.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" was the first thing that came out of your lips when he put you on the stretcher and he shut you up, pressing his lips to yours.

Buck analyzed each of your wounds alongside Hen and Chim and you could see the tears streaming down Buck's face, the ones that were also streaming down your own.

You were still struggling to breathe, every inch of your body ached, and you felt on the verge of losing consciousness. Until you succumbed to the darkness that was calling your name.

*

You woke up a few hours later in hospital. Your hands were being squeezed and you could feel something wet running down over them. Tears.

Buck had his face in your hands, he had never felt so afraid before. And when he heard your voice calling him, it was as if he could finally breathe.

"I'm sorry, Buck, I-I don't know what happened-"

"I almost lost you today"

Your heart broke into a million pieces. You did this to him, your recklessness, your impulsive behavior. It was your fault.

"I'm sorry"

Tears were now streaming down your face and he moved closer, running his hands gently down your cheeks.

"I was terrified of losing you. I'd die if I do."

"I would never leave you"

"Promise?"

"I love you, Buck. And I'll love you to death"

"Please don't let it be soon"

You smiled. No one had ever loved you like that.

"It won't."

[aemondapologistfrfr]

We're Not Kids Anymore

ward!benji x targ!fem!reader

Summary: Benji has been sent to be a ward in Kings Landing and you two grow up together. Over the years feelings grow and you each wait for the other to admit it. 

Warnings: 18+ maybe a swear word, a cup of wine, loss of virginity, oral(f), p in v

Authors Note: request from @chainsawsangel that I adored writing

Word Count: 5.6k

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10 years old

“Sit down and be quiet. You are representing me and the crown and I will not have you acting like a spoiled little princess.” my mother scolds and I push myself back into the seat and huff. 

“I am a spoiled princess.” I purse my lips and cross my arms. 

“Y/n, I am serious. If you act out, no flying for a fortnight.” I seal my lips shut at her words and sit with a frown. 

“Lord Blackwood.” my mother stands and I drown out the rest of the meeting. I glance to my right and see a boy sitting next to me looking equally as bored. While our parents talk we kick each other’s feet and giggle. 

“What’s your name?” he whispers. 

“Y/n. You?” I tilt my head smiling. 

“Benji.” 

“Do you wanna see a dragon?” his eyes light up with mine as he nods vigorously. We slip out of the council room as quiet as possible. My mother and his father shout after us as we sprint down the hall. Two guards scoop us up and bring us back into the council chambers. Benjis father pulls him to the side of the room while my mother pulls me to the other. 

“What did I say?” she looks down at me sternly. 

“Not to act like a spoiled princess and I didn’t.” I cross my arms. “I was going to take him to see my dragon.” I look over her shoulder and see Benji looking my way. 

“You will have plenty of time to show him your dragon. He’s to stay here with us and be our ward.” I tilt my head at her words confused. “If you two would’ve stayed and actually listened.. Go sit back down.” she shakes her head escorting me back to my seat as Benjis father does the same. 

“Princess, you honor me and my house.” his father bows his head deeply before he turns and gives Benji a pointed look. 

“I promise I will be good and listen.” Benjis voice comes from next to me and my mother smiles. 

“Your loyalty doesn’t go unnoticed and he shall be treated well here.” my mother nods her head to his father. They start talking again and I pretend to pay attention until Benji starts kicking my feet again and we silently giggle. 

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13 years old

“Mother please.” I whine as she looks at me with an unamused expression. 

“You both torment the staff and now you think you’ll be allowed to fly above the city and torment the common folk as well?” I groan rolling my eyes. 

“We were just having fun. I wouldn’t think stealing cake counted as tormenting.” I throw my head back knowing we won’t be able to leave the Keep. 

“No, you two will remain within the Keep walls.” her words final. She exits my chambers and I groan. 

I wait for a couple of minutes before I push open the secret door and enter the tunnels. After three years of constant exploring with Benji we found them and have been memorizing them ever since. I try to not be alone in them for too long because there’s so many rats and bugs but he always makes sure to shoo them away. As I start towards his chambers I hear footsteps. 

“Benji?” I whisper sticking close to the wall. I creep forward hoping I was hearing things. As I turn the corner he jumps out at me and I yelp. I push him back as he’s in a fit of laughter and I turn on my heel to go back to my chambers. 

“You should’ve seen your face.” Benji is still laughing and I huff starting to walk away. “Y/n wait.” he giggles trying to catch his breath. I hear him jog after me and he grabs my wrist. 

“What?” I turn and glare at him. 

“Are we going flying or what?” he gives me a toothy grin. 

“My mother said we can’t leave the Keep.” I sigh. He grabs my hand and sneaks us out of the nearest exit into the halls. He squats down a bit and turns to me. 

“Well get on. I’ll be your dragon for the day.” a smile spreads across my face at his words. 

“Really?” I step closer and he nods. I climb onto his back and his arms hook around my legs to keep me secure as my hands hold onto his shoulders. He stands up and I giggle. 

“Forward, Benji.” I point ahead. 

“You know I don’t speak your secret language.” I don’t even have to see his face to know he’s rolling his eyes. 

“Forward, Benji.” he starts to jog down the halls and I laugh wildly on his back. He brings us down the stairs and guards are looking at us worriedly. As he runs us down the halls my mother steps out of the throne room and is fuming. 

“What are you two doing?” she says through her teeth as Benji brings us closer. “Get off of him.” she looks to me and my feet touch the ground before I stand at his side. 

“We’re just having fun. He offered to be my dragon since I’m not allowed to see mine.” she raises her eyebrows at my words. 

“Guards.” she calls out. “Escort these two back to their own chambers and see to it that they stay there. The guard nods and we sigh following them back up the stairs. After about an hour in my chambers there’s a soft knock on my wall and Benji is slipping in to keep me company once more. 

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16 years old

I close my eyes and lean back into Benji as we fly through the skies. This is one of my favorite things we do together. He’s never been afraid of my dragon and even asks me to take him out flying without me prompting. My dragon flies us over the city and gives out soft chirps and grumbles to the common folk below. We fly around for a couple more hours before we land in the pits where we know my mother is waiting for us. 

“Your dance lessons started an hour ago.” my mother is standing there with crossed arms as we land on the ground. 

“I know how to dance.” I groan dragging my feet over to her. 

“Go get changed and meet your instructor and Benji go to the training yard. You both are late.” she shakes her head before slipping out of the pit. Once we make it back to the Keep we part ways and I groan as I see the gown they want me to wear for this lesson. My handmaidens tie me into it and I’m out of my chambers on my way to my lesson. 

“Lovely of you to join me.” my instructor says and I sigh as we start our first steps. The lesson goes on longer than I would like and once I’m dismissed I race down the stairs and out into the yard. There I spot Benji who’s hammering his sword down onto the man in front of him. I stand back and watch him with a smile. He beats the other man and begins to walk over to me with a smile. 

“Hello princess.” he hums looking down at me in my puffy dress. “Don’t you look absolutely precious in your dress.” he coos pinching my cheeks. 

“Stop.” I cross my arms looking up to him. 

“Is that a command princess?” he taunts and my cheeks flush. 

“Ugh,” I glare at him before turning on my heel. 

“And now you’re pouting.” he teases me even more as he jogs to my side. 

“You’re insufferable and I should’ve never come to see you.” I can’t hide the smile that blooms across my face. 

“Mm, but you can never stay away for long.” I roll my eyes before walking back to the Keep. 

Over the years we’ve grown closer but as we’ve gotten older our teasing has become more flirtatious. I never thought I would see Benji in a different light but what was once just wanting company has turned into something else. We’re attached at the hip and the entire castle knows it. 

“Come train with me.” Benji calls after me and I stop and turn to him. 

“Will you be able to handle it if I beat you in this dress?” I hum with a smile. 

“I would be honored.” he bows deeply to me and I walk past him to the weapons table. 

“After this I’m teaching you how to dance.” he throws his head back and laughs. 

“As you wish.” he smiles as I grab a sword and face him. I know he’s holding back and allowing me to have the upper hand. It doesn’t frustrate me because I know he knows my competitive nature and that I’ll be disgruntled if he were to train with me seriously. We giggle around the ring and the spectators offer us smiles and soft glances. 

“I win.” I smile at him with my blade pressed to his chest. 

“You may be the realms best sword princess.” he grabs the sword from my hand and places our weapons back on the table. 

“And the best dancer.” I hum as I grab his hand leading him back into the Keep. 

“Just collecting all the titles?” he chuckles squeezing my hand. 

“Of course.” I raise my chin and lead him into the empty ballroom. 

“I don’t know how to dance.” he admits sheepishly. 

“Well good thing I’m the best.” I smile up at him. I keep our hands interlocked and bring his other hand to my waist and he looks at me quickly and I chuckle bringing my other hand up to his shoulder. He looks down at me with scrunched brows as I begin to sway us in the silence. 

“This is it?” he mumbles with red cheeks as he tries to move his hand from my waist. 

“Do you not want to dance with me Benji?” I tilt my head. 

“No I- I do.” he nods his head. “There’s just no music and I don’t know-“ 

“Shush.” I shake my head with a smile and place his hand back on my waist. 

We dance around the room in silence and he slowly becomes less tense and holds me closer. I rest my head on his chest as we float around the room. I hear how fast his heart is beating and I look up to him and smile at his flushed cheeks. 

“Your cheeks are redder than they are when you’re training.” I tease him. 

“Well I don’t have the heir to the throne pressed against me when I’m in the training yard.” he pushes me back keeping my hand in his as I twirl. 

“I thought you didn’t know how to dance?” I smirk as I walk around him still twirling. 

“I’ve been to enough balls over the years that I know some of the steps. Besides wasn’t this dress made for you to twirl around?” he pulls me back to him and my hands go to his chest to steady myself. 

“I think it was just made to make me mad at how heavy it is.” I sigh looking up to him. His hands dips down and lift up my skirts just so they rise above my ankles. I look up to him happy that the weight is being held by someone else. 

“Better?” his voice low as he looks down to me. 

“Much.” I smile and offer him a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you.” I feel his hands fist the fabric of my skirts. 

“I should go change. We have supper soon.” he backs away dropping my skirts. He leaves me in the middle of the ballroom confused and embarrassed. 

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19 years old

“I don’t want to go on a tour. Why must I find a husband now?” I slide down in the chair across from my mother. 

“To strengthen your claim and line. I’ve allowed you to push it off as long as I can but you’re turning twenty soon.” my mother shakes her head. “Either find someone or I will have to pick for you.” my eyes widen and I shake my head. 

“I’ll find someone.” I smooth my skirts before darting out of her solar. As I make my way back to my chambers my mind races at having to find a husband. I’ve never looked at men besides Benji. I push the thought from my mind and enter my chambers and collapse to my bed. 

“What’s wrong?” I jolt hearing Benjis voice from my couch. 

“My mother wants me to find a husband or she’ll find one for me.” I roll to my side so I can look at him. 

“Do you have anyone in mind?” he tilts his head and I nibble my lip shaking my head. “No? There’s no one in the Keep?” I bury my head in my blankets at his words. 

“Benji.” I groan. I wish he knew that I’m not just saying his name to quiet him but answering his question as well. 

“Hm?” he hums from the couch. “Is no one here good enough for you?” I lift my head up and glare at him. 

“My mother wants me to go on a tour to seek a husband.” I see his jaw clench and his eyes darken at my words. 

“Do you wish to be paraded around?” he sighs settling back into the couch. 

“No, but I don’t have a choice it seems.” I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. I don’t know why it’s so hard for me to admit to Benji that I like him. I want him to say something first but I may be waiting forever. “Will you come with?” my voice small as I turn to face him once more. 

“You want me to help you find a husband?” he looks to me amused. 

“No. Yes.” I sigh wiping my face. “I don’t know, Benji. I just..” I trail off shaking my head. 

“You just what?” he prompts me to keep talking. 

“Come or don’t. I leave at the end of the week.” I wave my hand at him. “I’m going to nap before supper, come get me when it’s ready.” I roll onto my stomach and bury my head in the pillows. I feel the bed dip next to me and I turn and see Benji laying with me. 

“We used to nap all the time.” he murmurs brushing the hair off my face. 

“We’re not kids anymore.” I scoot a fraction closer to him. 

“No we’re not.” he hums kissing my forehead and holding me against him. I turn my body to face him and he pulls me against his chest. I rest my head above his heart and let the even beating lull me to sleep. 

                                   ᓚᘏᗢ

“Princess.” my handmaidens voice wakes me and I sit up blinking. “Supper is soon.” I take in her red cheeks and I know mine are the same color at the position she found us in. 

“Thank you.” I nod my head to her and she leaves my chambers quickly. I turn and look and Benji still asleep next to me. I lay down next to him once more and admire his peaceful expression. I brush his hair back and he starts to stir and slowly opens his eyes. 

“Gods, am I still dreaming?” his voice raspy as he cups one of my cheeks with his hand. 

“Do you dream about me, Benji?” my voice soft as I continue to brush his hair back. 

“Every night.” his tired eyes search mine.

“Supper is ready.” I rise from the bed so he doesn’t see the extent of my blush. 

“Someone is shy after her nap.” Benji laughs as he gets up. “Tell me, did you dream of me too?” his voice low as he comes up behind me. 

“I will not give you the satisfaction of answering that.” I purse my lips and he smiles even wider. 

“You did. Look at you blushing.” he pinches my cheeks and I turn and storm out of my chambers with him close behind. “Well what was the dream about?” he teases and I groan. 

“That I was strangling you.” I roll my eyes and he laughs. 

“How intimate. Were you looking in my eyes when you did it?” his voice low as we glide down the steps. 

“Enough.” I hiss as we turn the corner into the dining hall. 

“Did you end up killing me or just kissing me?” he whispers in my ear and I shoulder past him to my seat. 

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On the tour

My mother was furious when I told her Benji was coming with me on the tour. At first I thought he wouldn’t come with me but when he saw that I wasn’t getting out of it he insisted on coming with. His presence has deterred a lot of my potential suitors but I’m not much mad at it. My mother allowed us a stop in Raventree Hall and Benji is jittery as we approach. 

“Do you think your brother would make a good match for me?” I hum trying to hide my smile as he snaps his head toward me. 

“You are not marrying my brother.” his voice stern. 

“I may.” his nostrils flare at my words. 

“I won’t allow it.” he shakes his head. “If you’re marrying anyone from my house it’ll be-“ he clenches his jaw and turns to look out the carriage once more. 

“Who? Your father? Would you like me to be your mother?” I laugh not trying to hide my amusement. 

“No.” his word clipped. The tension in the carriage is palpable as we approach the gates. He offers me his hand to help me out and I accept. He keeps our hands linked as we enter the main yard and his father is waiting for us. 

“Look at you. A man grown.” his father smiles. “Princess.” he bows his head to me. 

“I’m going to show her around.” his father nods with a smile as we brush past him. Benji takes his time showing me around the grounds and the halls. We end at the massive weirwood that houses hundreds of ravens and I look up at them in awe. 

“When are you going to introduce me to your brother?” I turn to him and see that he’s already watching me. 

“I won’t be.” his eyes dark. 

“Then who here is asking for my hand? The ravens?” I tilt my head with a lazy smile. 

“I am.” I blink at his words as he studies me. 

“Like you’d actually want to wed me.” I squint my eyes watching him. Gods I want him to be serious. I can send a raven back to my mother and we can go home and be wed by the next moon. 

“I do.” his features soften and my heart starts to race. 

“Why?” I ask trying to calm my nerves. 

“Because I’ve been in love with you for almost a decade now.” he steps closer to me and I tilt my head to keep our eye contact. 

“Benji, do not jest with me.” my voice soft as I search his eyes. 

“I’m not. I just never knew when to tell you and now you’re on a tour to find a husband and you asked me to come with and that just..” he shakes his head. “Marry me, Y/n.” he cups my cheeks and I nod my head in his hands. “Say it.”

“I want to marry you, Benjicot Blackwood.” I look up at him with pure adoration. 

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Back in Kings Landing

“I don’t know why you both couldn’t have decided this before I sent you on a tour.” my mother shakes her head with a smile. 

“I wanted to see my options.” Benji scoffs next to me at my words. 

“Did you? You dragged me along with you.” my mother watches us silently laughing. 

“You insisted on coming with.” I roll my eyes turning to him. 

“Regardless, I’m glad you made a decision.” my mother cuts in. “The ceremony will be at the end of the month. Should you two need anything please let me know.” she rises and leaves the council chambers. 

“So why didn’t you tell me earlier?” I fidget with the marble balls. 

“You’re intimidating and a princess of the realm.” he looks to me as if it’s obvious. “The heir to the throne. Why would you pick me? You could have anyone.” I frown at his words. 

“Benji, I’ve wanted you just as badly.” his eyes snap to mine. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” he shakes his head. 

“I don’t know. I figured you met someone or something..” I trail off avoiding his eyes.

“When would I have met someone?” he chuckles. 

“When you and your little training friends go down to the street of silk.” I nibble my lip. 

“You expected me to wed someone from the street of silk? Growing up in the Red Keep made my tastes a little more refined.” he raises an eyebrow at me. 

“Well I don’t know what happens there. Maybe you had some life changing experience.” my voice soft as I look up to him with red cheeks. 

“What brought this on?” he comes to sit in the chair next to me. 

“I’m not experienced. What if you don’t like bedding me as much. I haven’t even kissed anyone.” I turn to him and he’s biting his lip to hide his smile. “Gods I shouldn’t have said anything.” I cover my face with my hands. He pries my hands away and offers me a warm smile. 

“I’ve thought about bedding you since I’ve hit puberty. You’re my nightly fantasy.” his words cause my blush to deepen. 

“Are you just saying that to make me feel better?” I murmur looking at him. 

“Every night after I leave your chambers I go back to mine and fall back on my bed and shove my hand in my trousers. I think about you laying beneath me squirming as I move my-“ 

“Benji.” my voice breathless as I rise from the chair covering his mouth with my hand. “Are you done?” I ask exasperated lowering my hand. 

“I didn’t even get to the other one where my head is buried beneath your skirts.” he smirks at my ever reddening cheeks. “Do you touch yourself at night when you’re all alone?” my eyes widen. 

“That’s none of your business.” I huff. 

“Try it tonight.” he rises and towers above me. 

“I won’t tell you if I did or not.” I steel myself as he steps closer to me. 

“I’ll know.” his hands rest on my waist. 

“How?” I squeak as he pulls me flush against him and dips his head down to my neck.

“Cause you’ll be blushing furiously the second you see me.” he whispers against my skin before placing a soft kiss. 

“Benji,” I gasp digging my fingers into his arms. “Someone could see us.” I pull back and he chuckles. 

“Of course, princess.” his hand slides into mine and he pulls us out of the council chambers. 

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One week before wedding

Benji and I have been spending the same amount of time together as we normally do but now the energy between us is charged. Every touch has a longing behind it that has us staring at each other. Our hugs seem to linger and soon excuses fall from our lips to always be near one another. 

“I’m surprised you still want to spend so much time with me after an entire decade.” I smile at him from the couch. 

“It’ll never be enough.” my heart flutters at his words. 

“I wish you would’ve said something sooner.” I pout. 

“I had to work up the courage.” he chuckles taking a seat next to me. 

“Waiting until the last minute. We could’ve been wed by now.” I sigh turning to him. 

“We can wait one more week.” he smiles patting my hand. 

“But I want to kiss you now.” his eyes darken at my words. 

“Mm, do you?” his eyes glance at my lips before they meet mine again. 

“Please Benji,” I scoot closer to him. 

“Come here.” he pulls me next to him. “I’ll give you something to think about when you’re under your covers later.” he smirks. 

“Don’t tease me.” I pout. 

“But I love to see you blush.” he hovers his lips above mine. 

“I’ve changed my mind. You don’t deserve to kiss me.” I pull back. He chuckles before pulling me back to him and placing his lips on mine. He licks across my lips and I gasp as he slips it into my mouth. I turn completely and start to climb into his lap. He groans as I settle while my tongue follows his as it explores. 

“We should stop.” he squeezes my waist. 

“No.” I capture his lips again. My hands travel up his neck into his hair holding him against me. Our tongues dance slowly and I absentmindedly roll my hips. He grunts and is lifting us off of the couch. I wrap my legs around him and cling to him while our lips stay on each other. He tosses me back on my bed and looks down at me with red cheeks. 

“Go to bed. I’ll see you in the morning.” his voice low as his eyes travel over my body. 

“Or you can stay.” I nibble my lip looking up to him. 

“Have a good night.” he lingers before he turns and walks to the tunnel entrance. 

“Benji.” I whine from my bed. He turns and looks at me one last time before shaking his head with a smile. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

Wedding day

I look to Benji as we say our vows and my eyes fill with tears. The maester pronounces us wed and Benji pulls me against him. Our lips seal our bond and I hold him tightly. The crowd around us cheers and we slowly pull apart with flushed faces as we look to our families. 

“My beautiful wife.” he hums looking down at me while we make our way off the dais. He brings us over to our table and servants our filling our plates and cups at once. “Do you think they could spread you across the table for me?” he whispers in my ear and I cough on my wine.

“Enough.” I slide my eyes to him and he’s smirking at me. 

“I suppose I could always go under the table.” his voice only audible to me and I squeeze my thighs together at the thought. 

“Eat your food.” I roll my eyes and start with my own plate. We give each other heated looks throughout the meal until he’s rising and pulling me to the center of the room to share our first dance. 

“The first time I danced here was with you when we were six and ten.” he looks at me tenderly as we begin to sway with the soft music.

“I remember.” I hum fondly. “You ran out after I gave you a kiss on your cheek.” I giggle caressing his cheek. 

“Mm, so you’re teasing me now?” he raises an eyebrow. 

“No, I would never.” I bite my lip to hide my smile. 

“I’ll remember this later.” his voice low as my cheeks heat. We finish our dance and the rest of the guests join us for more as the next song begins. After an hour we begin to walk around and talk with guests who congratulate us. We slip out of the main doors and we walk to my chambers together. 

“Now I don’t have to sneak in through the tunnels.” he laughs opening the door for me. I watch him shut the door nibbling my lip. “Are you feeling shy now?” he says lowly walking over to me. 

“No.” my voice small as I shake my head. He cups my face and I look up to him through my lashes. 

“Do you want me to kiss you?” he glances at my lips and I nod my head. His lips press against mine and I sigh into him. I push my hands under his jacket feeling his muscles under his tunic. He groans into me as I lift it up and press my fingers into his skin. “Gods how are you the one teasing right now?” he mumbles kissing down my jaw. 

“I’m not.” my voice breathy as he starts to suck on my neck. “I just want to touch you.” he nips at my neck and I moan. 

“Can I take your dress off?” his hands are waiting at the laces. 

“Yes, please,” I nod my head as he slowly pulls on them. He helps the dress slide down my arms and watches as it forms a satin pile at my feet. I step out of it and he watches my every move. His eyes travel over my exposed skin until they find my pout. 

“What could you possibly be pouting about?” he chuckles placing his hands on my bare waist. 

“I want to touch your skin too.” I pull at his belt and he makes quick work of the rest of his clothes. “Thank you, husband.” I hum as my hands go to his chest. He leans down and captures me in a kiss as our chests press into one another. 

“Tell me, did you ever touch yourself?” my eyes fly open at his words. 

“Benj-“ my words stopped by a moan as his fingers dip between my thighs. 

“I think you did after you begged me to stay the other night.” he taunts swirling his fingers around my bud. “Did you come?” a whine falls from my lips as my nails dig into his arms. 

“No.” I gasp resting my head on his chest as my hips chase his fingers. “I wanted to wait for you.” his fingers move faster at my words. 

“Let me not keep you waiting any longer.” he holds me against him to support me as his fingers slide through my wetness bringing more back to my throbbing bud. 

“Benji, I-“ I whimper as I hold onto him as my legs begin to shake. 

“I got you.” his fingers start a quick rhythm and I cry out as pleasure washes through me. My legs clamp around his hand as his fingers keep moving. He chuckles as I tremble in his arms before he removes his hand. He walks us back to the bed and watches me try to catch my breath as I lay back. He settles between my thighs and I look down to him with scrunched brows. 

“What’re you doing?” I look down at him and he offers me a dark smile. 

“I’m gunna taste you.” he dips his head down and looks up to me as he licks up my slit. 

“Benji,” I gasp fisting the sheets. His hands hold my thighs open as he begins to lap at my wetness. “Yes,” I whine as my hips grind against his face. I feel him chuckle into me and I moan at the feeling. He lifts up but starts to slide his fingers through me again. 

“Let me know if you need me to stop.” I nod my head looking down at him. His tongue makes its way back to my bud as he begins to push a finger in. My body jolts at the feeling but it’s replaced with loud moans as he presses a second finger in. One of my hands tangles in his hair holding him against me as he licks at me. 

“Please, Benji yes,” I cry as I explode around his fingers. He slowly pulls his fingers out and looks up to me with a wet chin. He makes his way up to my face and I pull his lips against mine. I feel him press into my wetness and I whimper against him. 

“Are you ready?” he searches my eyes as I squirm beneath him. 

“Yes.” I nod my head. He starts to push into me and I gasp at the stretch. Every inch is stealing my breath and he presses kisses across my face until he’s fully settled in me. He kisses me softly as he brings his fingers back to my bud to slowly swirl around. I slowly start to rock my hips and he presses his forehead against mine. 

“Can I move?” he rasps. 

“Please.” I nod my head and bring his lips back to mine. He starts a slow rhythm that has me clinging onto him. His hips start to move faster and my moans begin to pour out of my mouth. His fingers swirl quicker around my bud and my pleasure slams through me. I feel his warmth begin to fill me as I continue to pulse around him. 

“You’re perfect.” he grunts still slowly pushing into me. I shudder beneath him as he pulls out and collapses next me to me. He pulls me against his chest and brushes my hair back. 

“I hope I was as good as your fantasies.” I say softly looking up to him. 

“Gods you were so much better.” he pulls me up to place a kiss on my lips once more. 

ততততততততততততততততততততততততততততততত

masterlist 🔌

taglist ✍️

@clarityisnofun @gabriella-aesthetic @callsignwidow @llynx7 @violetiss3lfish @ka1afbr @akiko-oo @papichulo120627 @lizzylovebooks280501 @thatgirl101blog @ashovertheriver @zanygot7straykidsbonk @hueanhdang @malfoycassimalfoy @april-notthemonth69 @anaviieiraaa @p45510n4f4shi0n @neocockthotology @thereaderwitch @hardkiddonut @faenyra @hiimava11 @daintylittlesunflower @primroseluna @fiction-fanfic-reader @povofjustme

[loveanddeepspaceimagines]

Little accident

Rafayel x fem!reader School!AU

Characters are 18+

This was the only thing i had in my drafts ,it's shit but had to post something 💀

You and Rafayel have been friends for years, sitting next to each other in many of your classes. Ever since you had laid your eyes on him, you had developed a secret crush on the tall, handsome boy with purple hair.

One day, during a break between classes, your teacher assigned you two to clean the classroom. So that's why during last class You sat in your seat, eyes drifting to the clock on the wall, counting down the final minutes until the bell rang. Until you got to be alone with your crush.

When the bell finally rang, everyone grabbed their things, saying goodbyes before leaving while you sat waiting for Rafayel who had different class today.

After while he walked in grinning ," so partner you ready for work?" He asked stretching his arms, you rolled your eyes playfully "yeah,yeah, so ready" you mutter and he chuckles.

As you began to sweep the floor ,clean board ,you found yourselves joking around and teasing each other.

After while you decide to clean the top shelves bringing chair to stand on.

As you climbed onto a chair to clean the top shelf, Rafayel callously remarked, "Watch your step, or you might fall."

Your smile widened, playfully retorting, "And then, you'll catch me, right?"

"My arms are open," he responded, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You roll your eyes playfully cheeks tinting pink ,turning to continue your work. after few minutes of silence he spoke up, "soo, I've heard that you got a crush" he grins looking up at you and you froze eyes widening, laughing nervously .

"As if" you huff turning to clean the shelf. "Oh come on, who do you have crush on? You can tell me we are friends" he insisted

You bit your lip, anxiety building ,you turn around "i told you i don't like any-" before you finish your sentence you lost balance chair wobbling beneath you. In that moment, Rafayel lunged forward, his arms wrapping around you, the chair crashing to the floor.

The chair toppled over, sending you both to the ground. Your heart pounded as you landed on top of him, body pressed firmly against his. The room spun as your lips met in a brief, accidental collision.

For a moment, you froze, both unsure of what to do next. You tried to regain your composure, your cheeks flushed, as you tried to sit up mumbling apologies.

But Rafayel wasn't done. He pulled you back down, your lips meeting again, this time with purpose. Your breath caught in your throat as you felt his tongue slip past your lips.

He broke the kiss, his eyes searching yours "y/n ,I've liked you for a long time. I know that you like someone else but i couldn't live with myself if i didn't tell you" he murmurs.

His confession hung in the air between you, Your mind raced, your heart pounding in your chest. You had no words to express the rush of emotions washing over you.

However, your body spoke for you ,arms wrapping around his neck as you deepened the kiss. Pulling away you murmur against his lips "You idiot, you are the one i like"

At your words his eyes widen grin forming on his face" Really?" He mutters and you nod.

At your nod He moves hand on your neck pulling you back in another kiss ,hand trailing down your side, taking in the curves of your body.

Suddenly grabs your hips flipping your bodies so he's on top of you now, "good, because you are mine now "he mutters leaning down.

[primeofprimes115]

A "Marvel"ous Discovery - Mary Marvel/Shazam x Male Reader

Contains: Fluff 🥰

A/N: Something different for a change, about time I did a different character other than my girl, Kara. Now shall we??

SHAZAM!!! ⚡

Attending Fawcett Community College in Fawcett City was something of an experience for Y/N, he himself obviously didn't attend this College on his own, he moved into a dorm who was someone he had met back years ago, reunited at last when he wasn't expecting it.

Her name was Mary Bromfield, who was adopted at a young age before the both met in school, starting a friendship that sparked for a while until he had to unfortunately move out of Fawcett City, due to his father's business trips, cutting off contact with Mary but she'd always remember him...

And so did he.

The reunion was... Emotional, almost nerve-wracking at first since Y/N had known he'd be Mary's roommate, she was informed of having a roommate but the details were scarce, she had no clue until he stepped through the door to meet her, there was a moment of shock, then questions, then tears falling down her eyes before she walked over and gave him the biggest hug she could give him, if she was showing her 'secret' to him, she'd be floating off the ground with him in her arms.

"Y-Y/N?" her heart dropped like a rock hitting the pavement upon him turning around. Her eyes struck wide, looking at the boy in shock as he dropped his bags and hanged up his coat on the coat rack on the door of their shared dorm. "Y-You're..."

The young man turned around to face the girl he grew to love, at least in secret, or he did have a thing for her or two back then, never even saying one word about it. He looked at her with an inviting look in his eyes, and with an all familiar smile, one that she missed seeing.

"Hey, Mary. Been a while?" he quipped, talking a little step forward as Mary stood still, unsure of what to even say or do next upon seeing her lost friend's presence, standing in front of the dorm she was to share with the unknown assailant.

She planned out ways to keep her secret away from whoever it was going to be sharing the dorm with her, figuring out different excuses to use if necessary. Her secret was that she was and is Mary Marvel, the renowned Superhero that worked alongside the main Shazam for a time along with other Shazams that this main Shazam shared his power with, before they disappeared one day. It was revealed they lost their powers and superhero form due to losing a connection to what was called 'The Rock of Eternity'.

However... Some time later... Mary as a new adult, gained her abilities back and became the New Champion of Shazam, though many call her "Shazam" now, she was and always has been Mary Marvel, eventually leading down to her reclaiming the title of Mary Marvel again later down the line.

Things did get complicated now that she was attending College now, she used to go to a College down in New York, away from her family, but recent issues surfaced that forced her to move back near her family's home, attending Fawcett Community College to continue her studies in Science, mostly Biology and Medical Science, she already knew most about it and vowed to get a job with it. A proper job without being Mary Marvel all the time.

And the last thing she didn't expect, was finding out her new roommate, is an old friend she hasn't seen in many years, even before getting her full powers of Shazam.

Mary began to walk forward, her vision got a little blurry due to the tears forming up in her eyes and wrapped her arms around Y/N, giving him a big, strong hug which made him chuckle. In response, Y/N wrapped his arms around her as Mary quietly sobbed in joy, overjoyed to see Y/N again. She didn't feel like letting go.

Y/N remembered the Mary he knew all those years ago, the innocent, sensible and cute brunette girl, and here she was... And still is the same girl he had to leave his friendship behind with all those years ago.

The two eventually would catch up with all things that has happened in their lives since they last seen each other, Mary had to keep most subtle details out of being Mary Marvel/Shazam mostly, wanting to keep him out of that business so he didn't get hurt by her family's enemies, or anyone bad for that matter.

Low and behold, the whole reason why Y/N had arrived to study at Fawcett Community College was to study under Science, Biology also which sounded like music to Mary's ears, bringing the both closer to each other again.

Mary recounted all the times she had spent with him when they were younger, how she viewed him as this sweet, out-going boy who wanted to be her friend one day, she had barely any from what she recounted, only her adopted siblings she had much communication with.

He was always by her side, even at lunch, most boys would poke fun at him for hanging out with a girl, until Mary had, in her way' heard enough of Y/N being picked on one day and decided to take matters into her own hands.

In a way, it was a cute gesture, a sweet one at best.

With more revealed coming from Mary, Y/N had told her he took self-defense classes, under his father's guidance, his father's "business trips" weren't exactly normal, he worked under the United States Government and at the time, his family was in danger, the only suitable option was to move his family to a safer location, which Y/N had no choice in.

All the time for catching up came to be and the pair became friends again... Or so they thought.

Y/N's feelings for Mary soon came back up after two weeks, from all the times they spent with each other at the end of studying together, going out for lunch and all the teasing he did on her, he couldn't help but begin to catch feelings for the brunette girl again.

Even though she sometimes and oddly disappeared whenever something she was informed about was happening, or when danger was being reported, she'd later come back, finding Y/N all safe and sound, though one time... He was caught in the midst of danger - searching for Mary before a red blur transported him to safety from a villain tearing through the city, who had a grudge to settle with Mary Marvel herself.

He had heard about the Heroine before plenty of times, but never got to see her up close much, the only time he did was at that moment of the blur saving him, which was Mary Marvel herself, telling him to get to safety quickly, though her voice did sound very and oddly familiar, he listened and did as told.

Of course that day, he was going to confess his feelings for her and ask her out, though they've been getting lunch together and are living in the same dorm together, he really liked her and wondered if she felt the same way...

"In truth... Yeah. I did like you for a time" Mary gave him a genuine smile, shifting her hand over to his and planted it in his palm, feeling his warm hand close up against hers. She looked away for a moment as Y/N's heart paced rapidly. "And... I still do, I still have... Butterflies in my stomach every time I think about you" she admitted with her cheeks flushing warmly, her gaze coming back to him.

She still likes him to this day, she often hanged around in space, out of Earth's orbit or on Earth's Moon, trying to configure a way to even tell how much she had feelings for him, it felt like a weight coming off from her as soon as Y/N told her how much she meant to him. However... The other weight on her shoulder was her secret of being Mary Marvel, which is an even more nerve-wracking explanation to tell him.

Y/N's heart swelled in that moment, a part of him wanted to jump up and celebrate but that would be a little too vague, he was shocked to say at least, he'd thought it wouldn't end well and she'd be mad at him, but Mary has never gotten mad at him once.

Sure, she did tell him off for running into danger to 'search for her', though she was lying to him at the time of being safe at that part then, being Mary Marvel and all, she never raised her voice or yelled at him angrily. She was a pure and innocent person at heart.

The same could be said for Y/N, who's just defensive over her, especially around guys his and her age looking her up, though she could defend herself quite fairly which was a surprise to him to say at least.

"That's... That's great!" Y/N said, overjoyed. The two sharing a big hug afterwards on the couch...

Days turned into weeks after the confession, the two currently were holding hands, walking down the street. The pair haven't kissed yet but there has been some pecks on the cheek and on the hands. The both agreed to take it slow first to see how it goes.

And it was going well, very well in their experience.

Mary always had bad luck when dating guys, as she was inexperienced much, so was Y/N but the pair were happy nonetheless. They had to keep their slowly building romantic relationship under the rug in College, in case anyone would find out, as it was Mary's obligation to suggesting that idea, and Y/N agreed.

However... Mary Marvel was needed mostly than rather not very much, now that she was apart of this 'New Justice League' that's been set up and put together by Supergirl, the Woman of Tomorrow, who was a mutual ally and friend towards Mary. Which meant she had to skip dates unfortunately.

It was only a matter of time until Y/N was going to eventually discover that Mary Bromfield is in-fact Mary Marvel/Lady Shazam, the Marvelous Innocent Superhero, and it worried Mary.

But fortunately, today was a day for Mary to relax and not go out as Mary Marvel as often as she had to be, as much as she finds it enjoyable to fly around and keep the world safe.

She had rather a goofy, innocent smile plastered on her as she walked hand in hand with her boyfriend, who in turn looked back at her while she thought back on what had been going on in her personal superhero and normal life, while in the midst of walking back to their shared dorm.

"What's got you giggling?" Y/N's voice brought her back to reality, she looked at him and softly laughed to herself for a moment.

"Oh, sorry! I was just thinking on some things" she brushed aside happily, sparking Y/N's curiosity.

"And what may they be, mi-lady?" he cocked his eyebrow up with curiosity, smirking in her direction as the brunette giggled with her cheeks slightly flushing.

"Oh... Just back when I defended you from those rude boys back in Elementary" she replied softly, clutching his hand tightly and warmly before colliding her shoulder into him gently.

"Oh yeah, I remember that" he thought back on it with her, softly laughing at himself about it next. "For an innocent girl, you sure know your way with words back then".

"And I still do" she sent a wink in his direction.

"And it's cute, honest" he smiled in her way. "Have I ever said it's adorable when you come up with words instead of swearing?" he brought to her attention.

"Well..." she shrugged innocently before giggling and pecking his cheek.

The pair continued walking down the streets of Fawcett City, eventually stopping near an alleyway which Y/N thought of taking the shortcut.

Much to Mary's suspicion of seeing it completely empty, as any other alleyway would be but she had a feeling it was reeking of suspicion.

"Here, we can take a shortcut through here" he suggested.

"Uh, Y/N, are you sure?" Mary asked with a worried tone, looking down the same alleyway.

"Yeah, it's a shortcut".

"I'm not really sure, it looks... Ominous" she showed her suspicions toward the idea but Y/N rolled his eyes nonetheless.

"I've been using this route all the time, it'll be fine! Trust" he replied softly, holding her hand still.

"Okay..." she sighed after a few seconds of careful thinking, knowing if things didn't go well through this... 'shortcut', she'd have to reveal her secret as Mary Marvel at least.

And so... The pair walked in through the alleyway... All was going well...

Until someone stepped out from the corner, as another followed behind the pair.

"Ah shit" Y/N mumbled to himself. "Maybe I should've listened to you" he said towards Mary.

"What we got here? Two stranglers walkin' in our turf, huh?" one thug talked with a New York accent.

"Mary... When I say run, you run" he whispered to her.

"What?!" she whispered back to him, completely took aback by his suggestion.

"Just do it, okay? I can take these guys on".

"When they have guns and shoot at you?" she pointed out with her observation, the two thugs had sidearms on them, one aiming toward them and the other, his hand reaching the inside of his jacket where his concealed firearm was.

"Shit" he whispered again.

"So, pretty girl. Give us the purse, see what ya got" the thug who originally spoke walked forward, closer to them while backing the young couple in the corner.

"If you want to get to her, you'll have to get through me!" Y/N bravely defended her, opting to shield her like a real gentleman, as the thugs laughed at his eagerness to defend his girl.

"We got guns, pointed at you, you ain't some superpowered being".

"Ha!" Mary scoffed loudly. "Ironic" she then said with a sarcastic tone, while the boys looked at her in confusion.

"Enough talk, lady! Now give us-"

"I am a superpowered being" Mary then said loudly to them and to her boyfriend.

The thugs laughed at her, thinking her delusional, an idiot even, much to Y/N's displeasure of hearing them insult her.

"No seriously, let me show you" she was dead serious, walking past her boyfriend and out in front of all of them.

"Mary, what are you...!" Y/N immediately stopped himself from talking, originally he was going to plead her to not do something stupid like he was about to do, which was getting herself killed.

But the moment he saw a glint in her eye, like an electric beam phasing across her beautiful chocolate brown eyes... He saw it.

He saw what she meant and his eyes widened...

"You're -".

"SHAZAM!!!" with a shout out to the sky, and the magic word, a bolt of yellow lightning came crashing down onto Mary's body, blinding the thugs and Y/N for a brief moment with smoke covering where she was...

And when the smoke cleared...

Mary was wearing something different, clad in a white and gold outlined cape, connected to a clasp that was just over her left corner of where the lightning bold was on her chest, dressed in a red long-sleeved top and skirt with a gold outline on the basis of her skirt and red shorts underneath. A gold belt over her skirt and gold braces over her arms. And to top it off... Gold boots.

She transformed into Mary Marvel!

"Alright boys, times up" Mary quipped while striking a superhero pose, before she zoomed her way up to the thug on Y/N's right and punched him once, sending him flying onto a dumpster down the alleyway as his friend watched in horror.

The thug couldn't even believe it... The boy he was about to rob was hanging out with Mary Marvel?! It seemed he didn't even know it was her.

"Oh, that's gonna hurt for an entire week" Y/N felt a little bad for the thug his now superhero girlfriend knocked across the alleyway, tumbling down from the closed dumpster and onto the concrete floor, groaning in pain.

Then, Mary zoomed near to the thug who was about to fire at her boyfriend, using herself to shield Y/N from getting shot with the bullets bouncing off her as she stood heroically.

"Did anyone tell you, no guns in my city?" she scolded the thug, zoomed up to him in a whoosh, her cape billowing behind her like her dashing hair, flicking away the last remaining thug into a nearby wall with her finger, knocking them out.

"That. Was... Amazing!" Y/N praised her girlfriend's efforts as she turned around with an all-around, guilty look on her face while she began walking up to him. "You look... Marvelous" he laughed at his own joke, making her smile and cringe a little.

"That was... Bad, but in a good way" she replied, before sweeping him off his feet and into her arms, before the wind began to get a little stronger.

It was then he noticed Mary was taking flight up into the air, while carrying him, her hair, skirt and cape billowing in the wind as she began to fly in the sky, above the city foremost with a look like she had been caught trying to open the cookie jar when she wasn't supposed to.

She failed to notice how optimistic her boyfriend looked currently, he had just witnessed his girlfriend turn into the superhero, Mary Marvel, confirming his little suspicion, and watched her embarrass the thugs that tried to rob the both of them on their weekend date.

"I... I know you probably have a lot of questions" she broke her oath of silence, Y/N seemed lost in thought of being carried by her, she noticed him blushing about it. "And... Whatever questions you have, I can explain... I'm so sorry-".

"Sorry for what? Being a superhero this WHOLE TIME?!!" he said with excitement in his voice, something Mary didn't think how he'd react. "This is mind-blowing! I never thought our relationship would be more magical, but this?" he chuckled very happily, gloating over the fact he was really close to a superhero this whole time. "It's... It's spectacular. I've never felt more safer until now".

Mary couldn't help but smile but a sense of dread came over her, she'd lied to him, when she promised she would never, NEVER EVER, lie to him, she was always genuine with him.

"The thing is Y/N - I lied to you" her smile faded, replaced with a saddened expression, much to Y/N's displeasure of seeing her unhappy. "I lied to protect you, when lying can put strain on relationships, I promised I wouldn't lie but... But this-".

"Mary" he placed a hand on her cheek, while his other arm was still wrapped around her neck, her wavy hair in the wind tickled his arm which he liked. "It's okay that you had to keep this from me" he eyed down the part of the lightning bolt on her outfit, which glowed in the shadow of him as she carried him and soared through the air. "I understand the rules of being a superhero, I mean... My mother was one back then".

"R-Really?" she asked with a surprised look.

"Yeah, she was a vigilante back in the 90s, but enough about that" he brushed it to the side for a moment. "I know you had to keep this away from me because you wanted to keep me safe, and that's okay" he rubbed his thumb on her cheek as the white caped brunette superhero with the full powers of Shazam began to smile. "And I gotta say... Dating a superhero is something I didn't expect until I began to suspect of you being a superhero, I know it was a wild thing to think, but when you kept disappearing, Mary Marvel - - you - - would show up to save the day, and I still remember you saving me a month and a half ago as well, I had a feeling that was your voice I heard, nice trying to cover it up by the way" he smirked near the end as Mary rolled her eyes with a groan.

"I thought it worked! Should've known you'd figure it out sooner than later" she grumbled before giggling away. "But of course, you know me very well".

"That I do" he smiled before looking out to the view as Mary Marvel soared through the air. "So this is what flying is like? The view is beautiful" his eyes lit up with pure joy, feeling the breeze hit his face as he was being flown by his girlfriend still.

"I know, I've always wanted to show you this" she exclaimed, Y/N looked back at her and smiled.

"I'm happy you are now" he said, the sky-blue sky around them as he smiled deeply at her with him closing his face in toward hers.

Mary's eyes saw what he was doing, she stopped herself from flying for just a moment to share the view with Y/N like she was originally going to do and met him halfway, closing the gap.

A spark of joy erupted between the two as their lips touched, strong senses of feeling sparking in them while it seemed the world around them just faded in the background, only the wind and the movements of Mary's skirt and cape being picked and blown around in the same wind could be heard.

Their eyes closed, lips softly pressing against each other's, it soon drowned out Mary's butterflies that were in her stomach while a loving sense of spark was sent through her body along with Y/N's as the two shared their first ever lip-to-lip kiss.

And it was at the perfect moment...

Soon the two pulled away, a smack of their lips prominent as all smiles were shared towards one another with their eyes slowly opening.

"I know we're in College still, but I can't imagine my life without you in it, and the fact I'm dating a superhero makes it so much better" Mary's smile turned bright and joyful upon hearing his words. "I really want to build a life with you after College, to one day have our own house, and everything we've ever wanted. The thing I've always wanted... Was to just be with the best and dare I say it, marvelous person I've ever met, who is in fact the most beautiful girl that's ever came into my life, who needed a friend in a time of need".

"Aww, Y/N" Mary puckered her lips. "You're gonna make me cry".

The young man softly laughed at her response, he couldn't help it.

"Mary... I love you" three magical words is all he needed, not the other magic word that could transform one person into a superhero form, or at least... Put a superhero suit on in Mary's case.

She choked up on hearing his three magical words, smiling ever so lovingly as she tried to hold back her tears from earlier. "I... I love you too!" she brought him into second kiss, her lips pressing against his firmly but gently, knowing she was in Shazam form, any wrong slip-up, she could break his nose accidentally... Though she had firmly crashed her lips with his without realizing.

"Ow" he muttered in her lips, prompting her to pull back quickly.

"Oh my heavens, I'm so sorry!" she panicked, her face scrunching up thinking she screwed up.

"Haha, it's okay" he gave her a smile. "I'm okay" his drew his face closer to her again and lightly kissed her back on the lips, continuing it for a brief moment before pulling back. "This is why I love you, you're so sweet".

"I thought I hurt you badly there, forgot we were in the air for a moment there that I thought I wasn't Mary Marvel there for a moment, which you probably know what my powers are" she expressed her worry.

"Lost in the moment type of thing, completely understandable" he reassuringly smiled at her. "Hey, are you gonna fly us back or... Continue flying me around..." he looked at her with a mischievous look. "Mary Marvel" he smirked the next, making her smirk back at him.

"Hmm, well... I've always wanted to take you on a flight, so..." she puckered her lips suggestively, before smiling right at him.

"Then, what are you waiting for? Let's go... My Hero"...

______________________________________________________________

Fin...

Word Count: 4145

[dreadfutures]

There are a lot of great Dragon Age fandom things happening between now and Oct 31, and I am so sad seeing people nope out entirely instead of controlling their spaces. If that's what you gotta do fine, but I know many of you also would love these events who have sign ups continuing, works being shared, preorders going out... things you would either participate in, or would love to read/see/consume!

Here are a few I'm looking forward to!

@seraweek2024

@thedragonagebigbang

@dacreateathon

@dapolyshipping

@daflowerzine

@dragonageannual

@dadrunkwriting

and more!!

there's going to be so much new fanart, fic, and hype coming from these in the next few months celebrating the past many years of DA and its fandom! And you have the tools here on Tumblr like *nowhere else* to curate your space. You can use those tools to filter people, in addition to tags - and stay active in the little bubbles of fandom that are still happening unrelated to the new game!

or if you're going to stay off your dash, then turn mobile notifications on for the event blogs so you can keep up with them and them alone!

[jimmyjeans]

THIS TOOK WAYYY TOO LONG! Several ideas kept floating in my head of various Video Games x Splatoon crossovers and I decided to draw one that I thought would be fun. :]

I had, unfortunately, failed to consider how long this would take! I love Guilty Gear but dear God are their designs so dang complex to draw.

[grocerystoreanxiety]

my tolerance for ppl is getting concerningly low

[hadesoftheladies]

hate going for christian weddings sometimes because i always see the prettiest women with the ugliest men, the sermon is always some shit about wives being slaves (but not like bad slavery, mutual slavery except the husband is a benevolent master which makes it okay) and making babies for their husband, the music is always lame, the mc is always weird and obnoxious, and older women keep fucking asking me when it's gonna be my turn and never take no for an answer.

[kuromi-hoemie]

i am once again thinking about The Boy

not the movie lol

[eraiyang]

art vs artist 2023 with almost all zhonglis .. ehehe .. surrounded by my baby girl .. and his clown <3

[vee-lociraptor]

im so glad to be alive right now dude

[alxclaremont]

finished my first year of college last week and i truly do not know how to feel about it

[badboysupr]

so since we're getting the pjo series on didney does this mean we can now officially accept that all the demigods are dis/ney princesses

???

yes? yes good glad we're in agreement 🤝

[rosemirmir]

That was a sweet and tender finale... I cried a lot.

Geats was my first Kamen Rider I saw as it aired. But its also the first Toku I've seen as it aired, end. So this is a new experience for me.

(And was actually caught up on, Donbros I was watching it as it aired but never got able to catch up, I finished not long after it ended)

I've got a lot of emotions thats hard to put into words. I'm just seriously gonna miss these guys.

Thank you for the memories. 🦊🐮🦝🐱

[lunarharp]

a random draft where i was ramblingg about witch hat & art to myself for myself :)

rare time i feel like actually going off about the thing i’m having fun with right now in more detail ... but not on twt where strangers might try to discuss back at me lol sorry but that is scary. (not that you even have the room to soliloquy on there)

i love how there's characters for varying types of artists to relate to. people like agott who have been adept at drawing from a young age but feel overwhelmed by feelings of not meeting their expectations. and are driven mostly by feelings of wanting to prove their worth..

people like oru who have always been around the art but now are burnt out from commissions and wondering just what they're drawing for... and ones i relate to the most personally like coco and qifrey, who started drawing at an older age to the skilled people around them. like coco i'm so happy that i'm in the world of drawing(/magic) now and excited every day but also weighed down by fears that i'll never get to what i where i need to be after starting at this late stage and also whether i'm really cut out for this....

and like qifrey i only started drawing after a narrow escape from trauma... i started drawing to make sense of what my life is now, just as he was invited by beldaruit to become a witch because it was the only safe path he could take. (although i've not been through anything quite like what he's been through... ouagh)

and there’s tetia who just wants to draw to make other people feel happy about what she’s made, to have fun, and spread hope and happiness and gratitude. who feels so happy whenever someone thanks her for what she’s created - i understand now how it feels to want to thank them for thanking her and how making art, when you get a meaningful response, can be a truly warm communal type experience. but you do need that response - her overwhelming happiness when the dragon thing was happy and she said it was the first time she’d ever felt fully appreciated for her magic and it made her soooo happy. she had been drawing until then, but it was the last puzzle in place to make her realise the breadth of what magic can be for her.

and riche who is determined to not lose the “her”-ness from her art, doesn’t want to learn new techniques and become more regular and orthodox in style if it means she feels she’s losing something... i get that!!! precious autistic-coded child... the ways we feel about our art differ depending on our own mental landscapes. hahhhh... shirahama said she began this series because she was having a conversation with artist friends about how it feels like drawing just really is magic. i mean..... it is.

i think writing feels like magic too, and i’m glad i can do both now. any creation is total magic. i’ve drawn scenes that were in my head and that’s let other people see them and if i can trust their comments about it, has moved them in some way or at least let them imagine a scene or a situation that they wouldn’t have imagined otherwise. but it’s different from just telling someone about it. when you draw something, or write something it really exists now - outside of you. THAT’S SO WEIRD.

i liked drawing a lot of takarazuka things (before i realised i got kind of burnt out drawing all this transcore stuff that people were not exactly responding to because it’s so niche and weird lmao) but drawing fanart for something that also ONLY exists in art is so special. it’s not acted by real people. like.. they’re just little people that someone drew and now i draw them too. total magic. and she gets up and draws them every day the same as me...

i love that a manga isn’t just art, it’s storytelling too. doing both writing and drawing at the same time - it feels like such a perfect and fascinating combination of skills and facets of creation. i’m better at writing than drawing, so i don’t feel like i can express my original stories well enough in comic form just yet. but i might just get there.

the world is so confusing and overwhelming and terrible every day. only creation is something i can understand. sometimes i can’t understand it - when i feel REALLY bad, it’s definitely like, what’s the point. and i wish i had more things to experience at present than just creation - i want to be outside and just feel and be as well as create. and at some point i’ll definitely stop posting my creations online. but creating has become something that i don’t need to understand the reason for it - so at those times when i wonder what the real point to any of this is.... lately, i usually still create anyway. just as you’d still breathe and sleep even though you’re hurt and confused by the horrors of the world. it’s becoming how i express myself. i find myself drawing pretty much every day because it’s part of how i make sense of shit now and i naturally want to do it. not doing it is painful.

i hope this magic continues. i hope it becomes far more wonderful than i can even imagine from here.

and i won't lose.