#So I couldn’t see her face
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Got off the bus hella early bc this lady kept staring at me intensely and it made me feel really uneasy
#personal#Its weird bc like#Women amd esp other woc are usually the people I feel safest around#But she literally moved seats so I was across from her instead of behind her#And sat across the seat so she could stare directly at me#And Like initially I tried to brush it off as me being weird#But I could feel her staring at me literally the whole time#And started smiling in this really particular way while staring at me#It only dropped if she glanced away or if i looked over at her#And at some point she like#Leaned To the side awkwardly#So I couldn’t see her face#But i could still feel her watching me#And she didnt move from that position until I got off the bus#Idk maybe I’m overreacting here#But it made me so uncomfortable like it didn’t feel right
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Say something true!
#critical role#ygifs#imogearne#imogen x fearne#when you’re taking a picture of the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and the camera falls back and fucking decks you in the face#fearne going it’s ok you don’t need to confess I know~~ while imogen interrupts to say ‘’you’re a loser’’ they drive me NUTSkljsgdlkjs#also my brain is a little beehive cos these two Started with Fearne being the enabler to darker things while imogen was cautious#to fearne Seeing imogen about to be lost to ruidus and hardveering into panic that the power would never be worth losing her#to imogen hearing fearne hesitate and deny the shard and then telling fearne she should do it anyway#the way these two handle the other's Sways in darkness in such a Knowing way - ‘’Are you sure it wasn’t intentional?’’#there’s like this ping and before it was encouraging and now fearne is scared and imogen is enabling the risk#and it’s like either imogen is silently ensuring laudna’s safety by fearne taking the shard despite any risk#or imogen honestly believes that fearne is stronger even than the power she would embrace. There is no risk. Fearne will conquer this.#so it’s like is it ulterior motives or is it faith or is it hypocrisy or is it all three at once it's so good#imogen spending her entire life running from her power so isn’t it so much easier to tell fearne she can just do it while imogen couldn’t#or is it just her genuinely encouraging fearne from Knowing the aftermath of pursuing the power#but it's like imogen ...... why would fearne choose you over the possibility for power when she's never done that before#and is this insistence/encouragement going to actually reassure fearne or is it going to be another crack#and when they do the ritual fearne asks imogen to be the one to take her out and imogen tries to comfort her by agreeing#and fearne looks on sadly and nods#remembering when she was asked to be the one to take imogen out and all fearne knew was that she couldn’t#anyway imogen's face when fearne said you're in love with me imogen said NOT NOWDSHKJF#itfcep
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A
AJ, you’re
AJ, you’re describing lobotomy
#don juan was very unwell in this play#the face i made when i realised#D:#was instantly reminded of that part in The Best of Times#(a song in The New Albion Radio Hour)#that says: 'she didn’t know me/ she couldn’t you see/ in her eyes/ something missed/#there’s a trick with a pick/ the doctor gives it a nick/ it makes you docile real quick'#so yeah. double the feels for me#imo. bc of the tone. it’s the single darkest shit they said#like. aj are you ok#the meringue haberdashery#sfth#shoot from the hip
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remember when you hit the brakes too soon! twenty stitches in a hospital room! when you started crying baby I did too! but when the sun came up I was looking at you!
#remember when we couldn’t take the heat#I walked out said I’m setting you free#but the monsters turned out to be! just! trees!#when the sun came up you were looking at me!!!!#oh you were looking at me#😭♥️😭😭😭😭😭#do you ever think about how moments of connection in Taylor songs is so rare#just. that moment when the beloved is looking back AT her —it almost never happens#and when it does she’s so quick to write it down and hold on to it forever#locked in her steel-trap memory#you almost ran the red cause you were looking over at me#I am always thinking about Ann Powers saying that a Taylor song is just Taylor alone with a man creating the world of the Moment#whatever it is#and most of the time it’s profoundly lonely#the thing Taylor does NOT have (I believe) are friendships that go to the core#that are personal and individual —where she is Seen and Loved#and so she’s still looking for it in romance and mostly not finding it 😭#but man there is something so poignant about Taylor writing from and filling in the silences of a space so many women find themselves in#alone with a man who won’t look at them#I have never been there and venture to predict I never will be#but Taylor has lived most of her adult life there#and then the other half doing the work of transcribing it#shakes me to my CORE#anyways to circle back for a second—out of the woods HAS the moment of connection#and it feels as raw and vulnerable and simple as it probably was#like. for a second we really are just in the hospital room with them#when she says—when you started crying baby I did too I can SEE her just standing there#all nearly 6 feet of her probably in her little ski outfit tears streaming down her face!#but it’s still a point of connection because he’s looking back at her in that moment#I have made myself cry
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I’m sorry I genuinely cannotttttt understand how some ppl bash joe even in a joking manner. Like the poor guy did nothing wrong (that we know of) but so many ppl are making such snide remarks by comparing him to Travis which is not only condescending but actually kind of mean! HELLO did we listen to the same reputation album??? You can’t praise Travis for letting Taylor bejeweled and then rip joe to shreds in the same breath when joe was the one there for her in a clearly difficult and trying time in her life
#the ripping to shreds is a little exaggerated cuz there’s not that much vitriol behind it#but I just find the callous attitude to be so disgusting and insincere#like the love for Travis is sooo much rn I can’t imagine ppl hating him if they broke up#but I couldn’t imagine that for joe either#and another thing I think has to do with how public they are which is fine#but because ppl see so much physical proof of Travis being loving it somehow automatically proves joe wasnt#he was a private man! let him be!!#and if that wasn’t smth Taylor liked/struggled with she dealt with it like the grown woman she is#I’m not saying she didn’t face any kind of emotional stress in that r/ship#but if she did/going off of her songs she dealt with it like an adult#and now that chapters closed and ofc we can still talk abt joe but the subtle menace towards him is sooo immature#like some ppl rlly need to grow up/touch grass#and I’m not hating on travis like him not being there in 2016 is not a dig towards him#it’s just pointing out who WAS there which a lot of ppl seem to be forgetting#joe alwyn#travis kelce#taylor swift
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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Do you think any of ur oc’s + seb would be good at singing? (Seb canonically plays… or played, the electric guitar so I like to hc that he can sing :3). But I really wanna know if you think any of your other oc’s can sing.
Gabriel, absolutely Gabriel. I like to think when they were teenagers they played in a band. Before…it broke up because they argued too much lol
Seb probably would be good at singing too, even in his new form since whales do sing and stuff
#spottie speaks#I honestly couldn’t see Anzu or Sadao singing lol#Sadao maybe could but would NEVER show it off because public perception is his enemy he does not want to be PERCEIVED#and Anzu has part of her face messed up so it would make her have issues with it
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First fictional crush?
First as someone I truly identified as a Crush (as a [semi] adult who understood herself lmao) is Emily Prentiss of criminal minds she was part of my AWAKENING 🏳️🌈🫡
#I wanted to kiss her so bad omgggg#and I wanted her to kiss jj so bad#usually I couldn’t delineate a crush from someone I wish I were. but no seeing those two#me like a 6yo w barbie dolls smashing their faces together like NOW KISSSSSS 👩❤️💋👩
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they make me so fucking sick. GOD
#he gets soooo close. i wonder what makes him bold enough to get that close#because he hasn’t before but this time he goes for it#he lets her touch him. lets his eyes linger on her lips. gets close enough to feel her breath on his face.#but he Doesn’t Do It. he knows she would let him. knows she Wants him to at this point#but he doesn’t let it happen!#king of repression. honestly.#king of torturing himself to the brink of insanity#of course in my beautiful world with magpie i think part of why he stops himself#is neve. and that whole situation. but a bigger part is#[gestures vaguely] you know#god i’m obsessed with him. he’s so sick in the head.#he just. he knows he can’t have it. he believes to his core it’s a death sentence for her. because he can’t control himself#he doesn’t know who he is now. and that’s dangerous#he doesn’t think she knows what she would be getting into and he can’t put her through something he can’t see ending well#he couldn’t kill ghilan’nain#he couldn’t control spite when illario killed zara#there’s no way this ends well.#and so!#whyyyy does he let himself get that close this time!!!#he allows himself to acknowledge magpie wants this but doesn’t let himself give it to her#she needs to fuck his brains out immediately. the strap will fix him.#it must.#god the way he looks at her lips when she touches his chest. the way he must replay that moment over and over again in his head.#it’s all he has.#i have to kill him. god.#漫言#oc. magpie#r. birds of a feather#z plays da#datv spoilers
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#today was fine ig#for me specifically#but#my brother had an accident on a ski trip and broke his face#which I know I’m saying kinda flippantly#but it was pretty fuckin scary for a sec there apparently#my mom is on her way to northern Wisconsin now to go see to him but he’s spending the night in the hospital anyways#not telling yall this for any particular reason other than I use this blog as a faux diary#so I appreciate you reading this far#but I’m good and my brother will survive and all that#just thanks for listening 🙂#if you want the details of what a ‘broken face’ looks like#it’ll put a few detail after the slav tag#slav#slav every day#voltron#he broke his eye socket bones#fractured his sinuses#knocked some teeth out of alignment#and has a concussion so bad he got knocked unconscious and couldn’t stop throwing up#he also has a minor brain bleed from said concussion#so that’s enough to get you in the hospital over night ig lol
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ummm someone help me think of a legitimate villain/criminal/etc au or an au in which chiyo’s changed and hardened bc i’ve listened to that loop of “when does a man become a monster?” from epic one too many times and i need to write some tragedy i fear
#no ‘ well she’s got one foot in each side or she’s being twisted against her nature by other forces but she’s still the same woman ’#only ‘ she’s been doomed by the narrative. she’s been changed by the narrative. this couldn’t have gone any other way ’#‘ she’ll never be the same no matter how much she wants to be ’#bc when does a comet become a meteor y’all!! when does a candle become a blaze!! when does the reason become the blame!!!!!#going insane sorry 😔 it’ll keep happening 😔#and the thing is chiyo’s moral compass is so strong — the only thing thus far that was ever made it move is her loved ones#love be it romantic platonic or familial can make her accept a lot#but to see her truly do anything ‘ bad ’ it’s like… i gotta place her in a situation and i need it to be big bc otherwise#she’ll talk herself into doing the right thing — and i’m okay with that! but!!!! i need her to struggle so much first#anyway… i’m home ASDGHJ#might get my face washed and whatnot first but i’m coming online to write hehe#hope today has been kind to you 💜#get ready to ramble | ooc#but who would wade through the overgrown flowerbeds? brave brambles and traitorous thorns? | wishlist
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SOS. Been around my family for an entire weekend. Things are getting dire.
#the kids were getting restless and couldn’t agree on a show to watch together#I suggested Bluey#(kids love Bluey right?)#the fear on some of their faces#you would have thought I suggested these children watch The Exorcist or something#they look so shaken#so now IM confused#I learn their parents don’t let them watch Bluey#now I’m REALLY confused#isn’t Bluey as pure and wholesome as a show can get?#isn’t that like?#it’s entire brand?#I should have known better.#the mom informs me that her children can’t watch Bluey#because#Bluey#is a girl#(implication being that a blue character being a girl is Woke and Demonic)#(this is apparently supposed to disgust me)#(it obviously does not)#when THAT didn’t get a reaction out of me#she showed me a clip of another child character casually mentioning her two moms#expecting me to be appalled by such a blatant display of the ‘Woke Left’s gay agenda’#jokes on her that’s the most heartwarming shit I’ve ever seen#I had to excuse myself#these people are TRYING to raise a bunch of intolerant assholes#it’s disgusting#how can you find fault in something as pure as BLUEY#I can only hope that the younger generation grows up and sees the faults in how they were raised#otherwise my family’s cooked
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hate being the family artist my mom just asked me to make her a drawing of jesus for her church
#she was showing me her phone and i was looking over her shoulder#so she couldn’t see the face i was making behind her#rolling in my bed#cnp rants
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ughh cuz she said the main reason she broke up w me was cuz she didn’t see this lasting long term and i don’t disagree w her!! i don’t think we’d last forever and i don’t know if i’d want to but also i def saw it lasting at least a few years. not forever bht maybe till we graduated so that’s why i’m sad cuz i guess our ideas of “long term” were very different
#likeeee come on. not even 6 months#it wasn’t even five months#and we were genuinely doing so good#like i guess i’m just really confused aboht where all this came from!!!#cuz we were fine all fucking summer!!!#yeah maybe it was hard only being able to face time but we knew we’d see each other again in the fall#and she said she’d only started thinking about it the past week or so#as in the exact time period where we were both on trips one after the other and couldn’t facetime#as in the one time in summer we weren’t having daily calls#and i keep thinking to myself like how does she know it wasn’t just a one time thing and how does she know she wasn’t just overthinking#but also in reality i know she wouldn’t have broken up w me if it wasn’t serious#i know this was a hard decision for her so i can’t just assume things aboht her feelings / thoughts#it just really fucking sucks cuz like!!! all the fucking what ifs!!!!#i just really wish maybe she’d waited for my opinion even though i know it’s probs the best for her as a person#so i can’t be mad thag she didn’t. but i’m still going to be sad about it#sunny rambles
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the girl who started the very demure, very mindful trend on tiktok was being satirical and not actually saying women who wear too much make up or act in certain ways are bad. she contradicts her past videos with new ones all the time and i feel like that does enough to prove she is not being serious. if you’re annoyed it’s being overused that’s fine and you have every right to be but slapping the word “misogynistic” on a trend simply because you don’t like it is absurd. also i don’t give a fuck if the original woman overuses it because she’s getting brand deals that are funding her transition and i LOVEEEE when people make capitalism work for them
#op#if you wanna be mad at someone be mad at the white man who trademarked it so she couldn’t#or the zionists that used her face and voice without permission to hype up their genocide#but don’t call her misogynistic i’ll start biting#because i love to see a puerto rican trans woman winning
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