#Silly and a little gross but I had a lot of fun writing this

[schoenpepper]

Fishies

Intro: In your dreams, this eel merman loves to bother you the most.

Warnings: bad writing, awful grammar, Floyd is a warning in and of himself, mentions of homicide haha, reader is yuu, i dont think i followed the req very well my bad, u and floyd are like super totally normal besties i prommy ahaha no romance here nope no sir, not proofread im like super ded, the glitch text is funny to me, yandere floyd and reader if u like squint super hard

A/N: Updates are slowing down a lot, I know, I'm so so sorry. Unfortunately, my course and univ are kind of competitive, and as someone who hates studying, I've been forced to actually study. Gross, I know. This is for my 300 follower event, for @anonymousplant. I hope you like it.

Masterlist

You’re a pretty normal person, at least, you’d like to think so.

But starting from when you were 5 years old, you’ve had a permanent, recurring dream. You tell your parents of a rowdy merman that tends to linger in your subconscious: his sharp-toothed grin, his sparkly tail longer than his torso, his pretty fins that fluttered when you tried to touch them. They didn’t believe you when you said he really liked trying to squeeze you to death, though they comfort you when you break into their room in the middle of the night sobbing your little heart out.

Yeah, Floyd is an asshole.

That’s his name, or at least, what he told you. You’re not too inclined to debate him on that considering his fondness of wrapping his ridiculously long (and freakishly strong) tail around you, squeezing you at a moment’s notice.

You thank whatever deity is listening that you can breathe underwater in your dreams. He does not seem like the kind of guy who wouldn’t drown you. You know, for fun. Every night when you fall asleep, you ready yourself to meet with your imaginary friend (that’s what your parents called him, though you prefer the term imaginary acquaintance, at best).

“Shrimpy! You’re here, hehe~”

You look at him harshly with your arms crossed in front of your chest, “You’re never this happy to see me. What do you want, fishy?”

“Neh, shrimpy~” the sparkles in his two-colored irises bring about a sense of fear in you, “do you know what dreaming like this means?”

“That I made up a weird eel merman in my mind?”

“I’m not made up. Don’t be silly, shrimpy!” Floyd’s tail slithers in the water, coiling around your legs, “Jade and I learned about it yesterday. You’re my soulmate!”

Ten-year-old you woke up in a nervous start.

Ew!

Why would you ever, ever, be caught dead being with someone like Floyd?! He’s annoying, and a fish, and so if you got together you’d be a fish too! But you don’t want to be a fish!

Your parents are surprised to find you in a very snappy mood the following morning.

“You left so quick, shrimpy! You don’t wanna be my soulmate?”

You snatch an iridescent fish swimming by, turning it into a big plushie with your dream powers. “But you’re annoying,” you stick out your tongue, “so I don’t want to be your soulmate.”

“Eh…?”

You glance at Floyd. He doesn’t seem too happy with your words—in fact, his eyes are narrowed and he’s swimming slowly, closer and closer to you. “But I like you so much, shrimpy~” he says, but there’s no expression on his face. He’s so, so uncomfortably close that you need to lean back to avoid touching him, “you don’t get to choose your soulmate, y’know? So it’s not like you have a choice, hehe~ But if you really wanna be rid of me, I can always squeeze you ‘til your eyes pop! If you’re dead, you wouldn’t have a soulmate anymore. Shrimpy, aren’t I so nice?”

“You suck.”

You kick at the dream water and swim away from the giggling eel.

“Wanna play chase, shrimpy? Okay~”

He’s not too bad. At worst he’ll get cuteness aggression and suddenly wrap himself around you, but most times you’re just chatting endlessly with him about what he calls “weird human things”, and you pester him for details about “normal fish things”. He talks about his octopus friend that he refuses to call a friend, and how takoyaki is his favorite food in the same sentence. You talk about having to dissect a frog in science class which he found really funny somehow. He tells you about his twin brother and their shenanigans together. You tell him about how your parents, your friends—no one believes you when you say that Floyd’s real.

He says they’re lame.

You’ve learned to keep him a well-guarded secret lest your parents recommend a mental hospital again, but he must’ve stuck himself real close to your heart when he starts becoming inseparable from your mind.

He’s become a really good friend.

With Floyd, no moment is ever dull, even when you’re just sitting together on some dream-conjured rock, leaning on each other silently.

There is no second in a day in which you’re not thinking of him. Your favorite part of the day is going to sleep to see him each night, spending hours with his eccentric tendencies. The fish has become a very important part of your life.

(Your friends in school ask you who you like in a discussion about crushes. You ignore the fact that his name is on the tip of your tongue.)

He’s your best friend. There is no secret you can keep from him, because despite Floyd’s usual laissez-faire attitude, one change in your expression and he’s onto you. You’d thought you would go through your entire life with him as your constant, you really did.

On your sixteenth birthday, he’s gone.

Not that he disappeared, but rather, you can’t dream anymore. You wake up the next day with no memory of any dream, and it fills you with panic. Your stomach is churning like a void is forming inside—an integral part of yourself is missing and everything feels so, so wrong. You make your bed and head downstairs to eat breakfast. Your parents question your demeanor in concern for your well-being, and you force out a smile. You tell them you’re fine? There’s no need to worry them about the loss of your imaginary friend, right? You’re okay. Maybe this is the change you needed. You’ll be an adult soon, and you can’t dream of a weird eel merman forever.

No no n̷̥̜̐ơ̷͉̪ ̴͚̉̾n̷͚̥͒̓o̵͍̾̆ ̵͍͑n̷̩̝͐ő̵̟ ̶̛̈́ͅn̴̟̣͝͠ȍ̴̢̜ ̸̳̾ǹ̷̳̮ö̴̠́

Where is he?

Where is F̸̛̛̛͇͉̳̝̫̹͒̏͒͊̐͜ͅļ̸̪͈̞̱͓̰̖͌̽̉̔̐̇̃̃̏ó̶̻̯̪̭̐͋̏͛͒̈́̇̽ͅy̶̟̳̬͉̙̖̫̙̻̑̏̌̔̇͂̋̌̕d̷̝͕̣͖̺̬̦̟̂͊͜?̶̧̛͕͎̼͔̈́̆ Ẅ̶̟̗́͠ͅh̶̦̞͚͙̣͛ỳ̴̢͓͓̗͔̗͓̀̉́͋͜͝ ̸̹́͐̿͛ī̵̡̛͎̪̭͉̫̋s̷̢͇͗̏̔͑̿́̚͜ ̵̄̀͝��̡̟̆̎̓ͅh̵͕̓͂̍̀̔̊̏́ę̶̹̝̘̙̪̗͊̽ ̸̮̟̞͇̭͕̫́̆̀͑̓͗͜͠g̵̙̰̽̔̈́̃́̓̋̐o̸͚̱̟̳̘̦̖̊͐̓ñ̷̨͕͉͈̱̮̲̟ȅ̷͓͙?̴͖͎̳͚̟̲͚̂̔́̔͝͝

Why has he left you...?

Your vacation to your grandmother’s house does nothing to ease your worries (but if she ever heard you sobbing your heart out alone in your room, she never said anything about it).

There’s an old mirror in your bedroom in your grandmother’s house, owned by your late great grandparents. The floor length mirror is encased in an intricate gold frame, and it’s not too obvious until one night when you’d found yourself staring at it in a daze, but the reflection is off. It’s tinged with a layer of purple light, translucent and barely visible unless you pay attention. You try to sleep (it’s been evading you for three days, since the night of your birthday), cozy in your fluffy blankets and a blue unicorn onesie that your grandma had bought to try to cheer you up.

You’re woken by a bright light.

Careful, tiptoed steps lead you in front of the mirror. Your fingertips graze over its surface when a sudden force pulls you in—right in front of a crowd of a few hundred students.

So that was your first day in NRC.

You’d say it was nothing particularly remarkable considering everyone in this place has some sort of superpower, but to be honest, they think you’re so intriguing because you’re magicless. In their eyes that made you weak.

Helpless.

NRC is just filled to the brim with budding sadists.

Your first night in NRC goes a lot different.

It’s uncomfortable. The blankets and sheets are old and scratchy. The entire place is in disarray. It’s filthy and dusty and you’re sure you’re one step away from falling right through the floorboards because of how creaky they are. But tiredness makes for the best sleeping aid, and you’re prepared for another night of nothing.

You miss Floyd.

It’s a big shock when you’re met with your most beloved dreamscape instead of the void. Cold water that chills you to the bone, schools of colorful fish just passing by. There’s a long tail wrapped around a boulder, connected to a swaying half-human who’s blankly staring at the jellyfish. It’s all so familiar that your feet have acted before your brain has; you’re right next to him again.

(It’s where you should be.)

“Shrimpy!”

His voice is a welcome sound. His squeezing though, not so much.

“Floyd—ack! Ow ow ow!”

You almost swear you hear your ribs crack at some point with the way his tail and arms are putting pressure on it, but he only loosens his hold. He doesn’t let go.

You don’t mind that he doesn’t want to.

“Shrimpy’s so mean, why’d you gotta go no contact like that? It’s been so boring! I was super bummed, didn’t even wanna leave my room for that lame ceremony. Did you sleep when I was awake or somethin’?” he whines mournfully into your hair, “I thought… tsk, I told you soulmates aren’t changeable. Were you tryin’ to stop dreaming again?”

“No, the dreams just stopped,” you reply softly. It’s so oddly comforting to be in his arms, it makes you sleepy even in your sleep.

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You weren’t tryin’ to stop seeing me again?”

“I wasn’t. I promise.”

He hums, almost in relief.

(You don’t feel his lips gently, so gently, leaving a kiss on your neck where he’d buried his head. It’s so unlike him, but you make him act so weird.)

Grim wakes you up to look for breakfast in the cafeteria, and your time with your (platonic 💜) soulmate is over all too quickly. But something is stuck in your mind as you’re trudging through dimly lit halls with cat in tow. You knew the name Night Raven College rang a bell, but for it to be the very same school that Floyd had been ranting about for a year is just so unexpected.

(You’re finally in the same world.)

Then, is he here?

You didn’t manage to tell him about your most recent adventures last night. Maybe you should ask around and see if anyone can point you in the correct direction. At least, that was your original plan. Before an almost-burnt statue, a broken chandelier, two idiots who are actually really fun to hang out with, an abandoned mine with hostile ghosts…yeah. It takes you at least three more days before you remember to ask about Floyd in the school. You wanted it to be a surprise, so you kept it a secret from him. Though you probably should have expected that with all the mischief you’d gotten up to, your name was bound to reach his ears sooner or later.

“What the—?!”

“Ack!”

“Woah!”

Your first real meeting with Floyd starts with your cat and your friends being pushed to the ground in a pile.

“Shrimpy! You’re in my school! And you’re the funny student that’s been causing trouble? Now I’m annoyed I missed orientation for the freshies,” he does not hug any looser in his human form, “coulda’ seen you earlier. I coulda’ squeezed you earlier too~”

“Too tight, loosen up a bit please.”

“Okay~”

Ace and Deuce are looking up at you in shock with how casual you seem to be with him, but you pay their reactions no mind, only walking towards them with Floyd still wrapped around you, reaching out a hand to help them up.

(You don’t notice Floyd glower at the trio, or the way his hold tightens ever so slightly.)

They don’t take your hand, but you smile and introduce your best friend anyway. “Guys, this is Floyd. He and I have been in each other’s dreams since forever,” you pat Floyd’s arm that’s slung over your shoulder, “he says we’re soulmates but just ignore him, he’s kinda crazy. It’s probably some freak coincidence.”

“There you go again shrimpy, I thought we were over this? You still don’t believe me even now?”

“Soulmates don’t exist Floyd, don’t think about it too much. You know you’re still my best friend.”

(Ace and Deuce look at each other. Neither of them want to be the one to tell you—)

Soulmates are absolutely a thing.

And with the way that the big bad school bully, known for terrorizing at least half of the student population, is basically hanging off you, there was just no way that Floyd wasn’t completely and absolutely enamored by his cute, magicless little soulmate.

They should probably warn Grim that the eel merman wouldn’t be letting you sleep at Ramshackle tonight.

Or ever.

[cottoncandytomu]

Y’all can fight me on this but Modern!Ellie isn’t a player, she’s the gamer nerd who plays D&D, trolls online and is definitely a perv. 

18+ Content Below! MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT!! (Age in bio or pinned pls!!)

Tomu Notes~

NEW NERDY! PERVY! ELLIE X F!READER!!

Thought I'd do a little gremlin perv Ellie headcannon. !!Definitely some perv themes (ofc) mentions of sex and masturbation. Slight cursing, very minor references to depression/sadness!!

I'm close to (just about hehe) 50 followers y'all so THANK YOU OMFKDKJ. I've been enjoying writing for these two divine women and I'm thankful that you beauties are taking the time to read what I write. It means a lot hehe~ okay I'm done with the sappy shit, enjoy~

She absolutely has zero play when it comes to you. Always turning into a stuttering mess, then goes on to rant about her mistakes in her journal she keeps. Which is ALL about you, of course. 

You got yourself a fan, Ellie gives faaaaan behavior~ she stalks your socials and even follows you to class or around town. 

She grew up being your neighbor so she had unlimited access to seeing into your room across from hers, which is one of her favorite past times. Her hands would maybe kind of most certainly slip past her shorts while she watched you get undressed. Could you blame her though? You’re so irresistible. 

She basically creamed herself when you gave her a kiss on the cheek, as a thank you for helping you out on one of your assignments. 

Dina and Jesse made fun of her for weeks for it. 

She couldn’t help it, she’s had a crush on you ever since you were both little. The two of you were best playmates until you grew up and drifted apart. Belonging to very different social circles. You being the pretty popular socialite and her being the nerdy unseen introvert. 

You both grew apart, but you never treated her differently. Something Ellie was extremely grateful for, your friends would make fun of you for it. You didn’t care though, you two grew up together and you weren’t gonna let something as silly as a social status ruin that. 

It’s just unfortunate that when college rolled around you had to get with the most arrogant son of a bitch to ever walk the face of the earth (As Ellie tells her friends). 

Abby Anderson 

Ellie never liked Abby, never thought she was good enough for you. Yeah she may be captain of the hockey team, insanely attractive with a beautifully sculpted body and is extremely talented at just about anything she did but she was a piece of shit. 

Ellie had to endure the torture of Abby for years now. Abby knew how Ellie felt about you, Ellie thought she was good at hiding it, apparently not. 

Abby took a wicked enjoyment in making sure to shove your relationship down Ellie’s throat. Upping the PDA when she was around or showing up to your house where she’d make sure you’re obnoxiously loud in your bedroom, the window being wide open of course. Ellie never liked Abby and Abby never liked Ellie, finding her to be weird and gross. It definitely had nothing to do with their fathers being rivals.

But as much as Abby tortured Ellie it didn’t stop her from finding any means to be around you, watch you or think about you late at night. 

You never knew Ellie’s true feelings for you, seeing her as your childhood best friend was the farthest your relationship would ever come to be. 

It pained Ellie that that was all she was destined to be. 

She would be forever obsessed with the thought of you, dangling on a string and you’d be living your best life. Completely oblivious of what’s going on behind the scenes. 

So Ellie will just continue to click through your socials, saving each photo to her computer. Journal and draw you in her private time, keep an eye on you from afar. Watch as you enjoyed your life while she was stuck in her sorrow and daydreams of you. Stuffing her hand down her pants at the thought of you, alone and frustrated that you’re not there with her.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hope you enjoyed it!! Don't think I'm gonna write any fics based off of this,, unless y'all want more!

Thank you for reading and as always I welcome any feedback!! Have a beautiful day/night loves!!

=^.^=~

[marthawrites]

I'm feeling ranty and I'm not even putting this bitch under a read more

Ewan Mitchell is an ACTOR. He's not your friend, boyfriend, celebrity hook up, or even someone you can follow on social media. He's an actor who, assumedly, prefers to live a private life outside of his JOB of acting

Literally everything we know about him from behind the scene stuff from The Last Kingdom and House of the Dragon (I assume more of his projects too but idk) is that he is a lovely person, very kind, and generally a good dude. Like, that's what EVERYONE says

And given all the event content we've seen of him over the last week, all those people who've talked good on his name are correct! He really does seem like a genuinely good dude!

Idk why so many people are (badly) foaming at the mouth about it???

He's an adult who can do whatever he wants. If he wants to wear that, he can. If he wants to go to two different events in the same week he can. If he wants to bombard the media with pretty boy behind the scene sillies, HE CAN

HES AN ACTOR. DOING A JOB. FOR THE BIG STUDIOS HES WORKING FOR. HE PROBS HAS A CONTRACT.

"He's an introvert" "he doesn't like being in the spot light" "he doesn't like interviews" "he just wants to live a quiet life" BLAH BLAH BLAH

You can still be an introvert and have fun at parties. Like wtf. Introverts aren't weird little hermits who live in caves and don't ever have fun

As much fun as I've had seeing Ewan Mitchell content this past week it's also a huge reminder of why I've never dove into fandoms like I have with HotD. People are insane over celebrities. It's gross. It makes me uncomfortable. The way people treat and obsess over celebrities is genuinely ODD and sometimes disturbing behavior

Do I admire and respect Ewan Mitchell? Absolutely. This last week hasn't changed that

BUT at the end of the day this blog is centered around FICTION, reading and writing imaginary stories, and CHARACTERS within their respective universes. I avoid the celebrity bullshit as much as I can. I'm here for the CHARACTERS actors portray

I really enjoy my fandom space here. But wow this last week has really opened my eyes a lot to how people feel about celebrities aside from their acting capabilities

END RANT.

[rad-batson]

THIS IS FOR FANS OF CASSANDRA CAIN! PLEASE READ! I WANT YOUR THOUGHTS

(skip to the bottom if you just want silly headcanons about her :D)

Hello! So first, I want to thank everyone who read the Wayne pilot I made :) I appreciate your feedback, and I love you all.

As I'm preparing to post it on AO3, I decided to make a few (admittedly small) changes to the script, primarily around Cassandra Cain, because I haven't quite fleshed her out yet.

I don't have much experience with writing Cass, so I decided to do a bit of research on her yesterday, and wouldn't you know? I fell in love. 10/10. She didn't play a huge part in the pilot, but she will have a bigger one in the second episode, and there are a few things I think can or should be added so she doesn't feel too one-note.

There wasn't anyone who told me this, by the way. (In fact, I actually got some nice comments about her so thank you.) I just had it in the back of my mind while writing, and now that Cass is getting more screen time, I'm finding that my lack of knowledge might lead to mischaracterization.

SO TO COMBAT THIS, I MADE A GUIDE FOR MYSELF ON HOW TO WRITE CASS

Is this overkill? Probably Think of it as a silly headcanon list for my version of her. And I'm posting it here because I want your feedback before it's set in stone. (I know Cass isn't written well a lot, so this is my attempt to right these horrid wrongs.)

If you're going to give criticism, please be constructive. Tell me what you like or don't like. I'm all ears. Have fun :)

Writing Cass

(Btw I still gotta read Cass’s first Batgirl run by Kelley Puckett)

Has some sass, has a lot actually

Used to be awkward in social settings. she’s better at it when she’s with people so she can match their energy but she still prefers to just dip

Speaks in short-ish sentences, trying her best tho

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT, I JUST WANT TO KNOW TO WHAT DEGREE?? OR IS IT REALLY FINE

Mostly just relies on body language though

I WILL BE ADDING THIS INTO THE PILOT TOO, ESPECIALLY WITH THE ASL SCENE (BUT IT’S NOT REPLACING THE ASL)

also yes i know her using ASL isn't canon, it just works best for the scene, it would have been written the same whether she was in it or not, it is still a cute nod to fanon tho

Steph and Cass are extremely close BUT ALSO HAVE SEPARATE LIVES (I HAVE BEEN TOLD TO STRESS THAT AND I AGREE)

Messy, low-key gross. Bad-ish hygiene but she’s good at looking put-together so only those close know this about her (this is just my headcanon)

Often forgets bigger words so she occasionally uses the wrong one, she ALSO mixes up proverbs but no one corrects her because 1: it’s cute and 2: they don’t want to discourage her from speaking with them more casually (also my headcanon)

Cass: So I pulled the door off its…*makes motion with hand*…metal books. Steph: Do you mean hinge— Cass: Metal books.

Dick: Well that was a surprise. I didn’t know The Penguin would be here. Cass, nodding: Well life gives you grapes Dick: Wut Cass: You make grape juice. Get on the same book, Nightwing

I'M ON THE FENCE ABOUT ADDING THIS ONE BECAUSE IDK LET ME KNOW PLEASE

Is a cinnamon bun AND a little shit, it’s a balancing act

Production: She’s Wayne’s darling Princess Cass: *will break your fingers*

She does appear behind the camera crew to scare them on purpose, she thinks it’s funny, she likes seeing them freak out

She is super competitive, but she's always like "Oh I'm not that competitive" *proceeds to be very competitive*

Because she isn't super confident in her writing or speaking (or just uncomfortable communicating without seeing the other person's body language) she prefers to Facetime or simply reply to texts with selfies of her reaction. It is a thing now. when you need an honest opinion about an outfit, text a photo to Cass. She will either give back a photo of a thumbs up or a photo of a grimace and some not-so-flattering emojis

Her princess persona is her public cover persona in this show, parallel to Bruce’s “Brucie” and Dick’s “born for the cameras” thing

Is surprisingly vocal (and sometimes snippy) about her distaste with things but she mostly gets a pass because her morals align best with Bruce’s

Is most snippy when her family uses methods other than violence when violence is clearly the faster option, god they're such pacifists

Tim: *trying carefully to pick a lock* Cass: Just break through the wall? Tim: We can’t do that. We’re trying not to be noticed. Cass: Wimp

Bruce: Cass, why did you have to dislocate that man’s shoulder? Cass: I put it back. Bruce: That’s not the point. Cass: Fine, I’ll dislocate it again.

Is the best fighter, none of this “oh she’s the best fighter so when people do win against her, it makes them look cooler” thing, shut tf up, she could break their bones (not important to the show ofc but I need to add this because it is important in general)

Horrible at drawing, wretched (again a headcanon but I did see someone else mention it somewhere)

Also bad at writing, refuses to study to improve out of principle (i.e. she told Babs she doesn’t need to and now she refuses to admit Babs was right)

(AND SIDE-HEADCANON IF SHE IS HORRIBLE AT WRITING AND ACTIVELY HATED STUDYING HER ALPHABET THEN WHAT IF LIKE ONE DAY SOMEONE SAYS “hey can you grab me one of these files from last week’s case, it’s under M” SHE’S LIKE “fuck you, how could you do this to me” WHILE SEARCHING FOR M OR MORE SIMPLY *throws something at them*)

That's all I have right now. If you'd like to give me any recommendations, please do. I can't promise I'll add in every single one because this show is still about the whole Batfam, not just her, but I want to do her justice, and that definitely involves more fine-tuning on my part

OKAY THAT'S ALL LOVE YOU BYE

[hiskillingjar]

Body Writing (Ren/MC)

writing in the office, nobody tell my boss

day 15: body writing second person.

"This is fun, right?"

Ren tittered softly behind you, his tail wagging happily (fanning you with cool air), as you felt the slow drag of the permanent marker’s felt tip against the small of your back, letters dragged into your skin without your knowing.

Well, you did know. You had let him do this, after all.

Much like you let him do lots of things that you didn’t care for. 

You didn’t have room to complain about it though. He had been gracious enough to let you live in relative comfort and security, after all.

"Nhh, what have you written this time?" You asked, doing your best to peer over your shoulder as you laid on your front on his/your bed (he didn’t sleep in it without you, so you weren’t sure of the ownership). “It better not be anything gross.”

"Ah, nothing you have to be worried about,” He said quickly, covering the word with his palm, giggling to himself again as he refused to let you see it. “I promise!”

You rolled your eyes as your gaze went forward again, resting your head against a curled fist.

"I don't trust you not to have written something pervy, you know." You murmured quietly through an annoyed pout.

"What's wrong with me writing something pervy?” He asked, raising his hand again and writing another word against your hip, where your waistband of your panties was riding up. “Isn't this supposed to be pervy? It is whenever I see it anyway."

"Mm…” You huffed again, feeling the felt tip drag down the curvature of your ass, sensing that he was probably drawing an arrow, pointing between your legs. “No, it doesn't have to be. You could just…” You looked at him again. “Write your name or something."

He groaned, eyes going to the side with a petulant pout, like a teenager, making you snort.

He might have been a few months younger than you, but you had the sense that he was stuck in something close to a permanent adolescence.

Traumatised people tended to, in your experience. But you didn’t say that.

"Yeah, but that's boring.” He drawled, each word long and drawn out, but he let you move onto your back and look at him properly, the remnants of other words patterning your chest, stomach and thighs. “Everybody already knows you're mine,” His golden eyes flicked up to yours with a twitch of his tail, gauging your reaction. “Without me having to literally write my name on you, after all."

You felt your cheeks go a little warm, but did your best not to give him more to work with and tease you for.

"It would be nicer than you writing stuff like this." You said, gesturing to a slightly smudged ‘slut’, written over one of your breasts (making him smile smugly and his tail wag even more). "You don't actually think of me like that, do you?"

"What?” He laughed, his ears going down, bashfu, as his cheeks flushed slightly pinkl. “No, no, of course not!"

You glared at him flatly.

"Don't be silly.” He gave his head a shake, trying to shift his blushing and make his ears point upwards again. “This is just a little fun, I'm not trying to hurt your feelings."

"Mmhmm, sure." You mumbled, your jaw tensing slightly as you folded your arms across your chest, covering up the vulgar words.

"Look, look, I'm writing my name now, see?” He then said quickly, leaning into you to add ‘Ren’s’ before the ‘slut’ title, like that would make you feel any better. “I even put a little heart next to it,” He had, big and obnoxious. “Just, because I love you so much~"

You let out a short sigh, letting your muscles relax slightly and your arms sink back down to your sides.

"You're so corny," You murmured with a shake of your head, almost fond.

"Hey." He replied, sounding slightly offended, his ears tilting upwards with alarm. "You asked me to-"

"Yeah, I know.” You interrupted him quickly, trying to settle down any negative feelings you might have inspired from him. “I'm…I’m just teasing, okay?" You tried to give him a reassuring smile (though it didn’t quite meet your eyes).  "Thank you, I do prefer this...I mean, it's romantic, isn't it?"

He blinked, tilting his head to the side quizzically. 

"Romantic?" He repeated.

"Mm. Even if nobody sees it", Which they won't. But you didn’t say that, laying your palm against his ankle and idly rubbing his skin. "It's...nice to be claimed by you."

"Hmph…what, you like being claimed by me all of a sudden, huh?" He asked, with another thoughtful tilt of his head, smiling a little wider. “You like being mine?”

"Mm…”

You weren’t lying completely.

Had this been any other situation, you would have quite liked a boyfriend like Ren. 

Sweet and nerdy, passionate about his interests and yours in tandem, willing to do anything to make you comfortable, to make you like him.

But you had to remind yourself that it wasn’t another situation. You had to remind yourself that you were a hostage with a shock collar around their neck and a shackle around their ankle, and you were speaking to someone who could easily hurt you much worse, if you didn’t please him.

“Yeah, I guess I do." You said with another smile, warming your cheeks slightly.

Whatever.

You could be smart and enjoy these moments too.

Ren’s smile softened into a slight smirk, an unspoken intention in his amber eyes that you couldn’t completely read, as he, too, placed his free hand on your shackled ankle and moved closer.

"I can make it permanent, if you want me to." He murmured, eyes softening with poorly concealed lust

"What?” You blinked, letting out a little laugh. “Are you going to tattoo it into me, or something?"

"Even better." 

Giving your ankle an encouraging pat, he set the marker down and pushed himself onto his knees, reaching over to the bedside table, his wagging tail occasionally batting against your body.

From the top drawer, traditionally where he kept his toys and items of traditional pleasure (he had to move aside the plugged in wand to find what he wanted, after all), he produced a butterfly knife, a rainbow, iradescent coating covering it, making the bite of the blade appear less serious than it was.

In Ren’s hands, though, you knew that even a Boy Scout’s pocket knife could be dangerous.

"Come on, don't look like that.” He said with a hyena-esque titter at your frightened expression, settling himself back down, between your legs, and folding out the blade against his palm. “I’m being nice! I'm even giving you the choice this time!” He leaned closer, his chest against yours. “And I promise I'll be super careful, I won't even cut that deep-"

"Ren-" You started, brows knitting together as you pushed yourself against the headboard of the bed, trying to get away from him and the knife.

"No no, I promise,” He said quickly, gesutring with his free hand, like he was trying to settle you down. “It won't even hurt that much. Come on,” He smiled encouragingly. “It'll be fun!"

You swallowed hard, frowning a little more as you stared at the knife.

"It won't hurt?" You repeated.

"That much." He corrected you, making you frown even more to his delight, since it made him titter again.

"Why do I have a sense that you're lying to me?" You asked, eyes flitting to the side, trying not to look at his excited expression, his glowing eyes, his sharp smile.

"I'm not lying. Promise." He pushed his bottom lip forward with a pleading look. "Please?"

He wasn’t going to let you up, despite him insisting that you had a choice in the matter.

Maybe you did have a choice; endure a simple carving into the skin or choose something much worse.

Well…

How much could a skin carving really hurt? People did it for fun all the time, didn’t they?

You sighed, your chest sinking back against his, a defeated (and slightly irritated) expression on your face.

"...Fine." You breathed, cringing slightly as his shoulders went up with excitement and his tail began to wag ecstatically. “Just your name, though. None of the gross stuff, okay?”

“Okay!~”

You dragged in an anticpatory hiss through your teeth as Ren slowly lowered the knife to your chest, the rainbow blade reflecting the LED lights in his room, reflecting back your own frightened expression as it approached, closer and closer.

"I promise it's not gonna hurt," He murmured quietly, his other hand reaching up and pulling the skin on your chest taut and tight, making it as clean as possible. "Just keep still and don't make any sudden movements." He then smirked again. "Wouldn't want this going any deeper than your skin, would we?~"

"N-No," You replied, trying to still the stammer in your voice as the tip of the knife was pressed into your skin and he started to carve. "Fhhh..."

A heavy bead of blood gathered under the tip of the blade, growing larger and spreading down your skin, down the bleeding cuts, as he dragged the knife along the letter already printed into your chest.

'R'.

"I-Is it going to s-scar?" You asked, trembling from the pain, the burning sting that just kept dragging through your skin.

"I should hope so," He said with an eager smile, positioning the knife against the next letter, much easier to carve than a curve. "I'm pressing down hard enough...or what?" His eyes flicked up to yours with a broader smirk, showing off wet fangs and hunger. "Should I press down harder, just to make sure?"

"No!" You yipped, shrieking softly at the first new slash in your skin. "No, no, you don't need to do that..."

"I didn't think so~" He drawled teasingly, eyes going back down to your chest as he slashed three neat lines beisde the first.

'E'.

"I don't think I'm turned on, you know." He murmured as he worked, his thumb spanning over your new set of wounds, smearing the blood. "Not in the traditional sense, at least. Mm," He tilted his head again, lowering the knife for the final letter, his eyes lockied down. "My heart feels warm..."

"That's...actually kind of sweet," You breathed hard, gritting your teeth slightly, in spite of the sudden gentle subtext attached to the scene. "I mean, it hurts way more than you said it would, s-so you lied about that-"

"Sorry," He said gently with a little chuckle (he wasn’t that sorry, but it was nice of him to say, all the same), stroking over the cuts again and bringing his stained thumb up to his lips, lapping it clean with an indulgent expression.. "It's almost done. You're being really good, taking all of this too."

You scoffed lightly at his praise, but didn't pull back when he pressed closer, his chin resting on your shoulder as he stared down at his work, the knife contuinuing to drag slowly, slowly, the pain like a cleansing fire of pure sensation.

"Okay." He breathed into your ear. "All done."

'N'.

'REN', carved over your heart, hammering fast under his knife.

"Now, I'll always be in your heart," He murmured with a lovesick smile, tracing a heart around the wound with your still streaming blood.

Whether you liked it or not. 

"So, what do you think about doing me now?~"

[claryshifts]

Making American Horror Story DRs "Safe"

I'll update this with each season I watch! Most of this will focus on one of the "Evans" bc I know a lot of yall horny bastards wanna hop on him (real) Each section will have an "ultra safe" paragraph and a "safe as possible?" paragraph. idk -Murder House: Option One: The house isn't possessed or whatever you want to call it. Hell, you don't even have to live in it. Though Tate has problems with his mom (that adds a lot to his character, so I'd still 'keep that'), he's never had terrible thoughts of doing what he did at that school or any other gross things. I personally would still 'script out' the self-harm. Wouldn't want my partner to suffer that Option Two: If you still want that ghostly experience, then sure, by all means, live in the haunted house. but maybe cut out the satan part... Also script the ghosts don't have shitty timing (they don't bother you in the bathroom or when you're sleeping, for ex). If you want Tate as a ghost and not alive, still, don't date a ghost mass yknow what  😭  😭  BONUS: instead of tate, date violet 🥰🥰 -Asylum: Option One: You can live a nice quiet life with Kit. it's the 60s though, so if you're fem/poc/lgbt/etc, keep that in mind. whenever I go to a reality in the past I script I don't get bored without technology lol Option Two: have fun at the asylum, ig, boo. If you want some edgy lore, pls don't script you're a psycho killer or something omg 😭. Script none of the people in charge inflect punishments on you. If you really wanna get freaky in that musty place, script you don't get caught... and that its not all musty... -Coven: I got a lot to say bc I think Imma make a script for this too haha Option One: no scary demon devils or whatever. Uh, Kyle isn't treated like a sex object???? Nothing bad happens to Nan (she deserves better). If Kyle has to die (that sounds so weird to say) for your lore or whatever, don't purposely give him a traumatizing experience. this isn't a fan fic,, that's your REALITY. Honestly you could just script you're a silly little witch hanging out in New Orleans and call it a day. Madison isn't annoying af. No Axe Man. LaLaurie being Queenie's "slave" was deserved but maybe just script her 'out' altogether... Option Two: Okay, so you want the drama. Have the drama! Still no demon devils though cuz that does NOT sound fun. Script you and the people you care about are all safe from harm. If Kyle HAS to go through that terrible experience (I'm his biggest defender as you can tell), at least keep Madison and Zoe away or at bay bc seeing them fight over a guy who can't even say "food" and OBVIOUSLY can't verbally consent was so uncomfy, for me at least. -Freak Show: Option One: no scary clowns. The "freaks" aren't treated like shit. Neal Patrick Harris doesn't show up with his puppet??? No one is trying to make money off of the freaks. None of them are murdered or harmed. Option Two: Ig if you still want the plot they still have to be treated pretty shitty. Still would apply everything else though, as well as the fact nothing happens to you.

-Hotel: Option One: Ok look James March. Wonderful man. Make him NOT a serial killer omg. If you get with him I'm convinced a relationship with him would be straight up Morticia and Gomez uishfuihfjsf I want him so bad. Anyway, if he's your man keep the countess off your back, if you keep her there at all. I wouldn't recommend making yourself a ghost bc idk WTFFF that would mean for you spiritually. You could be sexy March's sexy human partner. Or the countess' partner. Anyone's partner. but alive. Um no 10 commandment killings of any sort, and no vampire children???

Option Two: ngl idk how else to put this?? idk if there should be an option 2 ;-;

Currently on Roanoke! this season is so boring I might not write anything for it

[asexualbookbird]

Whoo boy. Lots of things going on here, many of them Not Good, so I threw myself into video games and reading. Played a whole bunch of Project Sekai, so much Project Sekai I have to now force myself to take a break from Project Sekai because my hands hurt so much. I was absolutely SPOILED by my friends on my birthday. I look at my little Miku figure everyday and it brings me SO much joy!! Got an embroidery machine and I already have a couple jobs lined up so hopefully I can make a little bit of Fun Money. At the very least I'm hoping to make enough to upgrade the program so I can make my own freehand designs! I read SIX (6) books this month and I annotated in the margins for the first time! It was fun, but I think it was only fun because I was leaving notes for a friend. I don't think it's something I would enjoy on my own so I won't be making a habit of it. Still! Fun and new and exciting!

Someone You Can Build A Nest In by John Wiswell ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- Okay Initially I rated this four stars, but sitting on it for a month I ADORED this. It left so many good feelings. Fun and silly and gross, I want more like this.

Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ - A reread! Still love it! I'd forgotten so much it was nice to revisit and about halfway through I remembered the ending which was fun. Opted for the audio this time which was absolutely delightfully done.

Moon Over Soho by Ben Aaronovitch ⭐⭐⭐ - Not my favorite, but still fun. I find it a Choice that the use of outdated slurs was a hint at a plot point. Peter made a promise to a child, so there's no way that will come back to bite him!

The Daughters of Izdihar by Hadeer Elsbai ⭐⭐- I listened to the audiobook and I think that didn't help my enjoyment of this. I switched to a hard copy in the last 20% and found my opinions of the two main characters switching. I didn't like Nehal's narrator, so I didn't like Nehal. But reading it myself she was more tolerable. Aside from Giorgina having an abortion, this could have easily been a young adult novel, and even then it wouldn't necessarily have been out of place. The writing didn't feel like an adult novel, which I hate saying but I know of no other way to voice my feelings on this.

Elatsoe by Darcie Little Badger ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐- PERFECT. WONDERFUL. LOVED EVERY BIT! I know I just complained about a book reading like YA, but listen. Elatsoe was SO good. The love Elatsoe has for her family and her family for her is so refreshing. She's ace. Her loved ones love her. She loves them. And she's ace. It's not about Being Ace, but still! There she is! The audio was so easy and pleasant to listen to. I want my own copy because I KNOW I want to read this again. Absolutely delightful.

Whispers Underground by Ben Aaronovitch ⭐⭐⭐- didn't enjoy it as much as the first, but enjoyed it more than the second. Typing the title out made a lightbulb go off and I Got It. The buried alive chapter had me squirming. Abigail returned. There are an awful lot of guns in this series for being set in London and here they still had to poke fun at the American being trigger happy (she was). I'm a little burnt out on this series for now, but I'll return to it in the future.

June is bringing a birthday tea party for my mom, finishing a knit hat for my mom, making a homebound sketchbook for my friend, and whatever books I feel in the mood for. I'd say throw suggestions at me, but the instant someone says YOU MUST READ THIS my brain goes hm. No uwu. I think I want to make Monthly Reading Goals photos again, that was fun! Only book set in stone this month is The Adventures of Amina Al-Sirafi which I've already started and am enjoying a lot so far. Good omens and good vibes for June, I am speaking that into existence.

[saltymothball]

my unpopular takes on beetlejuice beetlejuice SPOILERS!! (long post)

(i am a fan of the original pls do not come for me) these are just my thoughts on the sequel :D please feel free to add yours too

context! im writing these notes as i watch so theyre a little disorganized

for reference i also rewatched the original immediately prior to the sequel

not opening with the classic beetlejuice muisic ?? even the stage show opens with that music where is it (EDIT- restarted it and it actually does open w the music, but it is much less fun/campy an and more of a spooky remix so i forgot)

its not plot necessary but i do wish we learned how BJ fixed his shrunken head and death by sandworm

where are the maitlands ???? 0 mention of adam and barbra at the beginning ?

BJ's ex wife intro was a very creative concept but i wish they did it with more sfx props and less cgi/green screen

Astrid is like very boring, theyve done nothing to get the audience (me) invested in her?? disney wish vibes like who is she

call it a headcanon i feel like lydia wouldnt be this fucking awkward of a parent ?? she had good role models ie adam and barbra (even if her own parents werent as active, by the end of the original movie it implied they were now living in a healthy family dynamic

the mother daughter drama feels really forced, reminds me of the out-of-place tension between wednesday and morticia in the 2023 show

all angles are super close up and feel like horror angles. the scene where astrid befriends that boy ?? felt like someone was gonna come up and kill them the ENTIRE interaction (edit i guess that makes sense but it nerfed the scene)

IMMEDIATELY knew his parents are dead btw. not showing their faces is so clearly they are dead. not an ounce of mystery. theory the boy might be a ghost too?

theory astrids dad isnt dead bc Lydia cant see him

the witching hour wrong ?? last i knew it was 3am not 12am. weird thing to get wrong

its like not a silly campy vibe ?? its like uncomfortable.

dont like lydias new man hes pushy and gross

i miss adam and barbra

it doesnt make sense that no one taking lydia seriously ? delia knows she can see ghosts and has also experienced beetlejuice

lydias fiance is a horrid excuse for a partner (how tf did she meet him like did he just walk in bc the plot needed another person to hate lydia

not the dead protester joke :(

the spill-your-guts/pregnancy felt really idk,,, icky??? dont know how to explain it but it uncomfortably long

follow up- a lot of the visual ghost gags felt very gross/gorey ? like in the original movie the gags were inbetween silly/sexual/spooky-but this one feels more like blood and guts instead of spiders and snakes. exhibit A) otho casually shoving corpse barbra out of the way when looking at the closet with delia / exhibit b) the guy with the cigarettes at the end of the original

theory that astrid is going to end up seeing ghosts by the end of the movie

love the "eeee!" noise BJ makes when people say his name

ok BJ with the guitar after lydia tells him off was legitimately funny

i know astrid is an angsty teen but my god she is so hostile towards lydia

calling it at 56mins the boys parents are SO dead bc they deliberately didnt have lydia meet them

listen i have nothing against jenna ortega but it feels like she is type-casted to play exactly one character now, like let the girl play something other than a monotone gothy teen

"they found a loophole and moved on" okay whatever that means

astrids awkwardness w this ghost boy is pretty cute. he is so definitely a ghost though

yup called it hes a ghost

"my mom was telling the truth... shit" lmao

this boy feels very sus bc why are you trying to bribe her w her father

still no info on how lydia and rory met ??

MURDER HOUSE ?? TH BOY IS A MURDERER ??? okay thats a good twist ill give them that

astrid going into the afterlife to see her dad feels very "lydia going to the afterlife to see her mom" plot from the stage show ?

astrid honey you have too much faith in this ghost boy

oh my fucking god delia did you really get poisonous snakes....so on brand for her

Beetlegeuse literally carrying the whole movie

every scene he's in is absolutely giving

william dafoe is pretty good too but adding him just feels like he is william dafoe and not the character hes playing (who is also an actor)

delia correcting herself from saying fuck is really funny like girl was that scripted

okay ok astrd seeing her dad working in immigration was pretty neat

i had actually forgotten abt BJs ex wife until now ? doesnt seem like she actually adds much to the story beyond giving BJ a new reason to pursue lydia... which he was already doing...?

are they all going to end up in the afterlfe wtf

the afterlife desert takes place on the fucking moon of saturn ?? okay

is it just me or is the sandworm not claymation... like maybe its just the way it looks but i swear it looks like they cgi'd it but then cut down the frame rate

damn lydias husband really got eaten by piranhas.. what a way to die oh my god

there was no real stakes to astrid switching her soul? they resolved that so fast like lydia just grabbed her and they ran

oh their husband/dad is back now everything is fixed...? like all that hate towards her mom is now gone bc her mom was telling the truth about seeing ghosts? dad just resolved the only conflict

beetlejuice didnt even help get astrid back he went on a pee break and the plot progressed

love bad cop william defoe

"are you filled with fear and trembling?" "yes im shitting my pants" absolutely gold

BJ on fetchquests this whole movie fr

the soul sucking lady please she ate bobs nametag :(

ok wtf they really solved ghost boy dilemma in 5 seconds, BJ ex machina... like he rlly just got him like that ??? anticlimactic

ok good astrid apologized for being a shitty kid

rory please stop kissing lydias neck

i kind of hate the modern nods like the self securing seatbelt in the priests car, or the influencers at the wedding, really weird unnecessary detail

BJ and Delia wedding crashers my fav

how did Beetlejuice get into the church ? if he is a demon like previously established, shouldnt he NOT be able to step on holy ground

enjoyed the slapstick moment of lydia punching rory, good moment

her red dress omg !! pretty

BJ himself is just too funny, making the priest sing top tier

i still miss adam and barbra :( if they can cgi that dead guy in star wars i think we couldve brought alec baldwin and geena davis who are in fact still very alive and look great

they really didnt make me interested in BJs ex wife other than she is pretty and looks like morticia addams ?

BJ making everybody partake in singing is very silly

everybody dancing at the wedding scene must have been fun to film, everybody looks like theyre jamming

lmao whos dog was that in the hallucinations ?? is that the dog who killed the maitlands

"ghoul squad" ok monster high

oh finally his ex is here

lydia so casually pushed out of the way lmao

why does BJ have more etherial powers than every other ghost?

offering rory to the soul sucking lady is so good

theyre really just gonna sandworm for the plot resolution again ???

his ex wife was a threat for all of 4 seconds

lol the legal marriage loophole was kinda funny

is delia like forever dead ? is she a ghost now? is beetlejuice dead?

i still love delia. "i will find charles and we will haunt you both" good for her

are the influencer wedding guests dead

everything got wrapped up very quickly

good on delia for still loving her husband even though that shark absolutely annihilated him

what ?? astrid is married now???

WHAT ??? SHES GIVING BIRTH ?????

oh ok its a dream

having a second pregnancy bit felt really weird

they alluded to another sequel :(

please remember i am actually a huge fan of beetlejuice !! no hate to the franchise these are just my personal opinions on the sequel. i would love to hear your thoughts as well !!

[oneforthemunny]

munny's one-derful year

to celebrate my one year on tumblr (january eighth, to be exact), i have decided to open up a little writing prompt. some of my favorite lores, asks, and others for anyone to participate in <3 thank you all so much for your love and following me around onto three blogs lol!!! i love you all so much!! 

rules: must tag #munnysonederful and @oneforthemunny to each entry so i can read and reblog ofc. unlimited entries, and i will be reblogging and making a masterlist on my own page so everyone can read/find the works :)  can be blurbs, full works, headcanons, honestly anything you want! 

prompts: 

rockstar!eddie and nepo baby!reader’s favorite hate fucking moment. where does it happen? why does it happen? are they just playing, or did one prompt the other? What happens ;)? get as smutty and gross as you want to babes, no one here will complain lol. 

based off the lore that older!eddie gets slutty on teqila lol. gimme tequila eddie. make it slutty. the og prompt was at the beach for a wedding of a cousin, if you’d like to follow that, but if not- where does it happen? how do you think it would go? don’t spare a single detail please!!!!

modern!eddie and his lil mean girl’s first date, like official date. i get a lot of questions on this and i honestly want to know what you guys think! what’s it like? where do they go? any awkward moments? what’s the convo like? does he try to over impress or play it like he’s too cool? have fun with it! 

ofc i would never deny anyone here a chance to write about our beloved mafia!eddie and the dogs lol. vecna, diablo, lucifer, and zeus (and beelzebub if you want to add him). i love anything with the dogs, specifically with them being spoiled, so spoil me for a moment and write about them! eddie’s bitching because they’re “guard dogs!!! they’re trained to kill!!!” and you’ve got them totally spoiled, so tell me about it. how would you spoil them? 

janitor!eddie deserves the world, so give it to him. give me something with spoiling him. why are you doing it (birthday, valentine’s day, hard week)? how are you doing it? is it planned or a surprise or impromptu? and of course, how does he react? could be angsty, fluffy, smutty if you’re feeling it. just show him some love. 

cowboy!eddie and sweet girl’s animals. i gotta know about them. there’s three parts of lore here: the cow, the chickens, and the goats. take your pick or choose all of them. make it your own, or me, personally, i want to know how they came to be? how did that conversation of convincing eddie to get them go? expectations vs reality? have fun with it, be silly with it. 

the horny hours convo we had (in april??? maybe lol) with dom!eddie was quite possibly the most successful and most interacted horny hours we’ve ever had. so with that being said, i’m opening up the prompts to be rewritten in your version. so there was three big ones: “don’t make me pull this car over” aka car troubles, “go pick a switch” aka switching it up, and the bath brush aka dripping down. rewrite it, make it your own, make new drama, if you’re not a brat make it non-bratty lol, make it slutty is all i ask. 

bouncer!eddie being a switch really shook everyone up and i loved it, so i want whatever version of him you want to write. him being subby, him being dominant, him just being him and being a little flirty and silly and slutty and the love of my life. expand on the walk in blurb if you need inspo, or what happened after a night where you or him got jealous from someone flirting at the hideout. 

funson’s freebies: 

in honor of my og blog (funsonmunson, gone but not forgotten) these are freebie plots for any of my au’s <3

give me an angsty breakup fic. why did they break up? who broke up with who? make me cry, ruin my day- or take mercy on us and give us a happy ending, up to you. 

self care nights. what do they do? is it a night in? a night out? is eddie taking care of you, or you taking care of him, or a little bit of both? what’s going on, just let me feel all gooey and lovey inside!!! 

i always get birthday requests, and technically it’s my tumblr birthday, so what do the eddies do for your birthday? where do they take you? what’s the cake situation? surprise party, planned party, no party? night in or out? presents? birthday sex? truly whatever you picture!

another highly requested, is a wedding. i love weddings and my guilty pleasure is wedding fics idk why, so give me that. you can follow the lore if they have it, or do whatever you want! proposal, ceremony, honeymoon- honestly whichever you want! where does it happen? what’s the details? who’s there? if you put vows i’m gonna sob so just fyi on that. 

finally, i have to give it up for the domestic babes. give me something soul crushingly domestic. dog!dad eddie, dad!eddie, pregnancy one, newborn, child- i don’t care. i want to feel motherly in this bitch after i read it. 

[dootznbootz]

Can I be for real? I hate when people hate on Circe/Kirke for being morally gray >:( Because all the gods are to an extent. Also I think the saying "You can like her as long as you acknowledge she's a bad person" doesn't really work because you could say that for all the gods. I think it's better to say "You can like her as long as you don't try to justify her actions" because that's what most Circe/Female god fans do. And it's so double standard-y I hate it >:( NORMALIZE LIKING CHARACTERS WHO ARE BAD PEOPLE WITHOUT TRYING TO JUSTIFY THEIR ACTIONS BY MAKING THEM VICTIMS. Especially when there are ACTUAL victims in the myth. Circe wasn't trying to protect herself. She's a goddamn goddess and a daughter of a titan. If she truly felt threatened she would've done something more permanent/serious to them. And if she was a male no one would he saying she was just trying to protect herself or something! I get there's a lot of misogyny in Greek Mythology but Circe is a GODDESS, she's above mortals. If Odysseus had to eat a MAGIC DRUG to defeat her that what could've the other soldiers done???

That's one of the reasons I really hated the Circe Book. It just feels so icky when people try to justify the shit she did. Like boo don't. We don't try to justify Zeus' actions. We don't try to justify Apollo's actions. We don't justify Calypso's actions (Or at least we shouldn't). We don't justify Theseus' actions. Because we shouldn't! So don't justify Circe's either >:((((((

Lmao sorry this kind of turned into my own little rant- Anyways do you have any Circe headcanons/shenanigans? I love my old ass mean witch wife 👉👈

And have a great day too, Mad! :D

All of this!!! Yes! Great points!!!

And that's the thing! You can be a fan of two different characters even if they're at odds or one has hurt the other! I do NOT hate Circe at all! Did she traumatize my special lil freak, Odysseus? Yeah. He's in therapy (AKA Penelope's arms). I still don't hate her!

And I absolutely agree with the whole "I just wanna protect my nymphs!" being kind of silly. It's fine, but I prefer her just being selfish in that moment (at least in my writing. There's more to it but I HAVE A PLAN!)

For headcanons/shenanigans, I'm...trying to be a bit more "stingy" with them, as for 1.) I really love my Circe and she's very special, and 2.) I've...honestly been doing too much into headcanons and not as much into actually WRITING. ;~; Which is what I really WANT to do. So I'll give a few basic silly ones that I'm okay with sharing. :D

1.) Circe has a habit of saying words twice. Like "Oh, oh", "My, my", "Yes, yes," etc. She has that habit from her papa :3 (I really love Helios lol. I wanna have him visit Aeaea during the year Odysseus is there just because I can lol) Once, though, Hermes pointed it out and teased her about it so she's a bit embarrassed and tries to not do that. (it slips out)

2.) She is basically her own lil sun. (not as much as Helios ofc, but yeah. enough) You can't look her in the eyes too long as it's basically like looking at 2 mini suns. If you're a mortal and sit close to her, you may get a sunburn. (she has mostly dryad nymphs working for her because it's a bonus to get extra sunlight.) It's kind of nice when making potions to be very warm so then she can hold it for a while and it'll warm up.

3.) She's kind of a behavioral psychologist/researcher in a way?? (putting my own field of interest into my shit lol) She much prefers the company of animals and immortals. She thinks humans are neat but she sees them more as something to "study". She does not see them as equal in a way. She also finds humans to be a lil gross. Being as warm as she is, mortals tend to sweat if they share the same room as her for a while and...Ew :') (Fun fact: Odysseus is a very sweaty dude, so... yeah. "I'm putting up with this because you're handsome and I want to study you.") It's part of the reason WHY she turns them into "cuter furred creatures". Also cats like laying in sunbeams!!! :D She's so warm! (Odysseus' men were to feed her pets eventually)

4.) She tends to laugh at her own jokes.

5.) Her and Artemis have beef because her having her pets run amock on Aeaea is fucking with it's balance in nature xD basically a bunch of big cat/wolf predators being introduced and what's naturally there can't keep up.

Some other stuff would give spoilers and some are not safe for wormlings so yeah! :D I hope this is good!

You have a great day too, Dear anon! Thank you! :D

[redactedfrog15]

me when i forget i have this account. Whoops! Anyways. I want to post more frequently on here. For now I'm dumping a lot of stuff from my evil notebook. My evil notebook is where i go when i am feeling evil but in the not funny way. I guess sort of like vent art but instead of venting it's just me if I had a hyena skull head. You know how it be. Uhhh. I will put some more in depth stuff under the cut. If there is a cut? (guy who knows how tumblr works)

First two are both lyrics from SCAPEGO∞T by ghost and pals. Was resonating with it as one does. Vague self portraits in there too I guess! Yippee. These ones were like. Beginning of winter. My creature thing still doesn't have a defined form which you will see in part due to how that hyena is in a few of the frames with a animal body. I like to think it can fluctuate <3

Next one isn't really a defined single thing I just really wanted to draw a mountain lion eating a coyote. Shoutout to if this happens in real life I bet it has at least once.

Think I actually meant to crosshatch this baby fully. Unsure what happened here... But oh well! still silly

This is a newer one of the creature! (me) (my weird dog that is me). still hyena skull. As seen in second image I usually like to do this little thing where I have spikes or crystals growing out of my skull. It's because of dark evils of my past. I think final weird dog will have this but at the very least did give it claws that operate as such. I can't remember why I had the guts coming out on this one. But I felt like it was fun. The wings are that of a vulture, a shrike, and a cuckoo bird. I wanted to go with the sort of. Not really shunned. but weirdos of birds right. Vultures (and hyenas!) feed off of carrion their job is very important but they're regarded as gross and scary. Shrikes are small and also violent and I think that's cool. Cuckoos are one of those birds that will place their young into the nests of other birds. Which I thought fit because it isn't the baby bird's fault. But they're still an outsider that doesn't belong. Buttt Yeah! probably have more notes just wanted to write about design choices for fun

[lakesbian]

General thoughts about the reveal on who the Maggie in the Toronto arc was?

Also general thoughts on the arc?

i think its fun that she and blake are both connected (& she's the last tether blake has to anyone knowing he exists) via having both slipped through the cracks due to Whoopsie-Daisies. also say what u will about literally everything else in wb's writing but i like how girls in wildbow novels are more often than not grungy and a little weird. already talked abt the goblin thing some in the last maggiepost but i do really like the goblins. "pure distillations of the dirty abandoned scraps of the world which exist solely to kick you when you're down" is an extremely coherent and fun spin on goblins. the constant "fat = gross" associations are insufferable but the rest is solid. the padraic thing isn't one of the iterations of maggie's prophecy but it does feel fitting for her character that the girl who was initially inducted into being a practitioner via living somewhere that was slipping thru the cracks was fucked over for a Second time via slipping thru the cracks. i hope she is fucked over a Third time by it for rule of three. also i was in fact correct previously when i said this:

i also think she’s probably still in over her head without realizing. she’s manipulated into ordering someone’s murder and then is like “you know i think i can make up for this one AND go on a fun little adventure to add to my scrapbook of knowledge at the same time.” that’s not how reality works! you killed someone! and then tried to semi-earnestly befriend slash mooch from their cousin! she’s only been a practitioner for six months–i think there’s a very fundamental disconnect btwn the maggie that’s lucky enough to still have parents she can be a normal silly teenager with and the maggie that’s making forays into The World Of Backstabbing, Horror, Murder, and Fates Worse Than Death. and i think that disconnect will result in strain for her as the fact that she’s sort of doomed to do some really awful things, have some really awful things happen to her, and/or both sinks in.

except instead of just Strain. that fact had to sink in via her doing, as sandra put it, the magical equivalent of crashing a car 2 learn respect for the road. YA protagonist maggie holt died in the crash now it's just wannabe goblin queen mags scrambling 4 purchase in the wreckage. i believe in her i hope she captures sooo many crass little creatures. i'm glad that buttcheeks stuck around he's fun to watch :)

i don't feel like we actually know johannes yet. the thing about the really successful practitioners is that they're doing less Desperate Violent Scrabbling to maintain their positions and subsequently have more luxury of ostensible niceties and lofty philosophies. they should throw a bucket of mud on him and toss him to the wolves so i can see what he's like when shit gets real. also the entire arc is a really funny demonstration in how severely being a thorburn has fucked blake over. everyone is sooo much nicer to maggie than him he's out there playing on hard mode. this is what i mean when i say that alec would b a diabolist, diabolism is fundamentally abt when you are marked Rotten by the world by virtue of the family you've been born into, defined more by their legacy than by anything about yourself, even moreso than the other brands of practitionerism.

hmm anything else. oh yeah i think we should flog wildbow for crone mara. ok thats all. OH yeah and Not Being Maggie Holt Anymore is a really funny way to skip out on the other iterations of the prophecy. its that fairy bitch's problem now. i have a lot of thoughts on pact faeries but that's a post for one of the "why are pact creatures good" asks just know i'm rotating them in my mind rapidly

[goblins-riddles-or-frocks]

BTS for "In This Darkness, I Have You"

Fic Specific Asks

BTS: I’ll write a DVD commentary about my personal favorite passage from [that fic]

OMG thinking about this fic for the first time since 2019. It’s been ages, so I’m just going to read through it and comment on anything that comes to mind!

So for context, the main premise of this is basically my take on the obligatory vampire period sex trope with alutegra lmfao. But specifically imagined as like a once a month no strings attached arrangement where integra REFUSES to ever acknowledge that there is like anything going on between them whatsoever. Mostly because she just can’t bear to actually unpack anything about their dynamic.

I tend to interpret Integra as just incredibly overworked and exhausted and also just. kind of emotionally stunted from having to bear the burden of acting like an adult from the age of twelve. She only knows how to compartmentalize and move on.

So this is obviously scene setting, leaning into the Tropes and horror angle. I always like making clear that Alucard is scary and gross lmao, and also that Integra’s super desensitized to it. This bit particularly though I also wanted to convey that he’s trying really hard!! It’s showmanship for her, he’s trying to put on a face that he thinks she expects and will be into.

So the fic takes place over the backdrop of a storm and the power going out. I think in context of the single one shot it feels a little jarring tbqh because of how things stop about twice to address it, but this fic fits into a continuity of a longer chapter fic I never actually wrote the entirety of. (Maybe one day?) And I think more mundane asides work better in that context. That being said it’s a (somewhat heavy handed?) metaphor. Integra just automatically blames him. He’s not correcting her, but it’s also like actually not his fault, and that comes up later. Idk tying into her perception of him as just more collected and in control of things than he actually is.

I’m generally very drawn to ship dynamics where one character just Can Not deal with being loved. But particularly in this case I think she just can’t like morally and ethically square it, because she feels immensely guilty for the whole… eternal servitude aspect but also doesn’t know what to do about any of it.

I think conversely Alucard truly just doesn’t care. He’s being honest when he asks if it matters. Sure, maybe their entire dynamic is fucked, so what?

This is condensed to see mostly the dialogue. I had a lot of fun with this back and forth! and like Alucard as a temperamental, mercurial type.

The return of the power outage subplot lmao! The Walter cameo was fun to me though. It’s really abrupt and it shakes up the mood a lot. I love writing a very over attentive Walter, perhaps because he’s perpetually feeling guilty…

I also just have a fun time writing him as a very intense mothering type. Kind of unsure how to care for Integra, especially now as an adult where she does not need caring for.

Anyway that last paragraph is a fairly crucial misunderstanding of Alucard I think. Again she doesn’t want to consider him being emotionally involved in anything! He does lash out and like deliberately fuck with her a lot but a) this would NOT be the time b) she views it as like this is just something he does as opposed to like letting herself see why.

And he plays into that perception! He’s like don’t mind me, I’m just silly!! Because admitting to genuine vulnerability is fucking humiliating and also when not in the heat of the moment, being bitter about the fact that she might like actually be grossed out by the prospect of him being in love with her, he absolutely knows that if they Have That Conversation she is going to fucking dump him entirely lmao. So he’s trying to shut the fuck up and not ruin things

And yeah this just further solidifies the points I was trying to make earlier. This fic is not subtle lmao. And if it wasn’t already clear, I just really like getting into Alucard being genuinely fragile.

Generally this fic doesn’t *resolve* anything between them. I don’t think anything I’ve ever written for these characters had a real resolution or solving of problems, just because there’s too much baggage to actually solve anything. But I think they end it with a slightly better understanding of each other. And Integra still has just as many issues with it rip.

Idk if this is potentially annoying to anyone who’s read it and liked the softer ending where she asks him to stay the night regardless of the dramatic conversations. But uh…. in the larger continuity that this fic falls into she’s absolutely going to start avoiding him after this lmao. Which Alucard, in turn, is not going to take well! They’re very dysfunctional.

Which isn’t the complete end of the romantic relationship either, because their boundaries are atrocious. But yeah this fic is def not the end/entire scope of that conflict.

[foibles-fables]

Hey! I saw your tweet earlier. I’m sorry you (and many others here) seem to keep receiving so much hate. I’m writing this to send you some love because you deserve it! Thank you for always being a beacon of light in the Horizon fandom. The stuff you write and post always bring a smile to my face. Loved all your comments about Call of the Mountain.

I feel bad about the current state of this fandom. I knew we had some bad apples, but I guess I underestimated them. I know we will eventually bounce back, once the homophobes shut up for good and some of the weirdos calm down a bit. We’ll have our peaceful little corner of the internet again.

And that will only happen thanks to people like you, meg-noel-art, and many others who, somehow, always manage to keep things light and fun. As they should be.

PS: This the first ask I send you and I’m sorry for never commenting or saying much. English is not my first (or even second) language, and I am a little shy. I’m more of a lurker, I guess. Also, seeing all the recent attacks might have made me crawl further into my little comfort safety zone lol.

PPS: Full disclosure: my main horizon ship is Ereloy. However, I absolutely love everything you and meg-noel-art post about Talanoy. I try to like and reblog everything I see. Though I always low-key shipped them, since ZD, I guess I’m almost completely converted now because of you. I, too, miss Talanah lol Also, for some reason, the DLC only made me ship them harder. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sorry for the long message and thank you, again! Cant' wait for the focus network fanzine!

Oh my goodness--thank you SO MUCH for this kind ask. Seriously, this made me smile so much after a ridiculous day, and I appreciate it more than you can even know! Totally flattered you've enjoyed being around and have liked all the silliness I've put out--seriously, my heart is so full <3 <3 <3

The fandom is definitely going through A Moment. And honestly, the gross mainstream homophobia and the shipping gatekeeping/discourse alike are starting to get pretty exhausting. But I'm definitely trying my best to do as you said--to be a beacon for the fandom--until things calm down! Because they absolutely will. We've carved out a nice space, and when everything settles, the peace will return.

Again, I'm so grateful that you decided to reach out! Keep on enjoying your fave ships, and I truly hope you love the zine! Lots of great stuff coming up :) have THE BEST day and please take care!!!

[pbandjesse]

We are in Uganda! My body is a little confused sleepiness wise, but I am in a great mood. I think for this week I'm just going to write when I have downtime throughout the day, and post before bed. But that way I'm not forgetting anything and also not having to sit and write for an hour when I'm presumably tired from all the activities.

And while there are lots of things, we have been told that this is a place where things move slower, and to expect that. Which is fine with me, I have no real plan or schedule. I just want to have some experiences. Whatever that means.

I was able to get some sleep last night on the plane but after I did my post on our layover on Rwanda I was mostly awake. Our party was playing a card game during the layover and being a little loud and the woman in front of me and James was so mad about it. Like we get it, were all tired, but this is the last stretch and we will need to wake up a bit.

It's a little funny though that it's just so clear how American we are. I was worried about being to much but everyone in this group is so loud and boisterous and happy. Once we finally touched down in Uganda everyone was clapping and cheering and we got some looks. But we were just so happy to be off the plane.

My first impression of Uganda was humid but sweet smelling. It was a cool humid. Like I was still hot but it was with an undercurrent of coolness.

We got all gathered before we headed to immigration. It was very warm in that room but I was in a good mood. I was gross and very very ready to get to our room and get a shower. But that would come in time. First we had to get our visas approved.

The man who did mine was very nice. I was not prepared to have my picture taken but I didnt look to crazy. I was surprised that it is a whole sticker with my face on it inside my passport. But still very neat.

Once I was through I went to collect me and James's suitcases. Which thankfully made it without damage. They were slightly wet from the rain but I was just glad they were here safe. Everyone else would slowly trickle in and get their luggage. And they were all loud and excited. Clapping for us as we started coming through. The staff seemed a little shocked. Probably a combination of how early it was but also just being Americans. I texted Jess that everyone knew we were Americans and she said "the horror" which like. Yes. Embarrassing. Being known!

We would all have to get together to get on the little bus that Paul and Sam had coordinated. We got to meet Sam's uncle Joe who seems super nice. Everyone so far we have met has lovely smiles. I just want to make friends with everyone.

When we got outside my first big impression was that it is humid and smells nice. It was 430 am and I was having fun talking to Paula's sister Sydney about how me and James were able to bring so little bags. Everyone else has huge huge suitcases. I am always proud of how little I pack. It's a point of pride. Though now that we are in the country I do wish I had some different shoes. But shoes are always a struggle for me in travel. But everything else is perfect. And it was fun to discuss.

Getting all 19 of us on this little bus with the suitcases though just straight up wasn't going to happen. So uncle Joe would take all the carry ons and the big luggage would travel on the bus and we were able to squeeze everyone on. And we began the 40 minute drive to the resort.

We got to see interesting things right away. There is huge jackfruit growing all over. The buildings we saw were made of a late of tin and there are a lot of fences and security around things like the schools. We saw some stray dogs. Seeing vendors starting to set up for their day. I wanted to eat all of the foods. I was very excited to try as much as I can.

The drive was nice. We had the windows open. The breeze was great. And there was a lot of chatting and laughing and being silly. We were all so excited to go get clean and get some rest.

When we finally arrived the van struggled to get up the hill. We all were joking about having to lean into it or we would have to get out and push. But we made it there! And then through security.

We got all of our bags scanned. And then we were inside. It was so pretty! We had to give them out passports and visas to check in but we would get them back with our room keys. We had to wait about a half hour but we were all just chilling. Watching breakfast get set up. And discussing the day. We were all excited to hear new bird songs! As the world was waking up it was just so fun hearing birds we have never heard before.

We got our room key and James tried to lead the way but we went the completely wrong way. Oops. So we went back down and one of the staff walked us to our building which was a little down the way. And it was beautiful.

The room was not layed out the way I had pictured but not in a bad way. We have a balcony!! I am so excited about that. And the view is incredible. Like I am blown away. We can see Lake Victoria and some houses and trees and hills and I was just. Absolutely blown away.

We waited until our bags were delivered to take showers. But man was a shower amazing. I got my hair damp to put more conditioner in because the humidity is making me very fluffy. But I know I will just have to accept some amount of fluffy. I did bring my hot brush but I'm not to worried.

We finished getting dressed. Bug spray. Sun screen. And then breakfast!

We headed downstairs and others from our group were there. And I was excited to try things. Buffet was the best idea.

I want to try all the juices. Today I tried watermelon juice which was very nice. I got scrambled egg whites and their local potatoes which were fabulous. I tried a potato curry too which was great with the eggs. I did not like the roasted tomato but jersey tomatoes spoil me for most other tomatoes. I got to try watermelon yogurt which was great. I also tried a passion fruit and papaya. They were fine. But my favorite was the tree tomatoes. I had 4 of them. They tasted like really lovely sour candy. Incredible.

After breakfast we would go look at the plants and bugs. I took some pictures. But then we headed back to the room to rest.

We didn't plan on sleeping but we would sleep until almost 230 in the afternoon. And I was worried that it will mess up the sleep schedule later but this would be fine and was actually a really lovely sleep.

When we woke up I was in a good mood. The general plan was to meet the group at 4 to go to Sam's parents. But that would get moved to 7. So we had time to chill.

First we would stop at another room so James could get measured. I chatted with Uncle Joe and he laughed when I said how beautiful everything is and he was like you haven't even seen anything yet! But I did see the biggest snail I have ever seen in my life so I was still riding that high.

We went for a walk around the gardens. I would point out every bug and bird and small critters I could see. We found more jackfruit. And walked through the playground which has a full trampoline??? We would head down to the gift course, not quite on the lake but closer then we had been. I am just constantly amazed at how beautiful it is here. I can't wait to see more.

We joined friends at the bar and we're all fascinated by the conversion rate. My Pepsi with 8000 shillings! I hope to get some money to bring home as souvenirs. A lot of places will take us dollars and give you back Ugandan change but the dollars have to be nice and not torn or ugly.

Everyone here is so beautiful so far. The fabrics and cuts and everything has been so neat to see. I just want to people watch. And we would get those chances.

After we left the bar we wandered a little longer. And went back to our room to change into our nicer outfits. We would go and hang out in the atrium for a bit. James read on their tablet. I worked on some embroidery. Chatting and people watching. Paul's parents would come down and Paul Sr would show us some of the beautiful pictures he took this morning. We are all just having such a lovely time so far.

Me and James came back to the room and set up on the balcony. I cut more bracelet string. They read. We keep going "woah!!!" Whenever a bird flys by. And now we are heading to find the group again for the welcome party!

It actually took a while to get everyone together to leave for the party. We would meet everyone at the bar. Where I was invited to take shots but I declined. I still enjoyed saying shots shots shots.

It was a bit like herding cats. We would end up in someone's room pregaming and laughing. It has been really nice to be with the girls. I really like them. They are all so pretty and cool. And it's just been so nice talking to them.

When we finally found Paul and Sam and everyone was gathered we would get on the bus. One of the boys was almost left behind but he hustled and we were off to the compound.

And when Sam said compound she meant compound. We would drive through a market, almost all of the trip here was on dirt roads. It was fascinating. More tin buildings. Lots of people. Markers and children and dogs and so many motorcycles. The aspects of poverty are here, and from an anthropology angle it's fascinating, from a human angle I am not sure how to talk about it. I don't want to come across as patronizing, but I'm observing as an outsider from a place of privilege. I am fascinated by the society we have seen. It feels so far removed and different that I am just taking everything in best I can.

We started arriving at the compound and we were all surprised by how bumpy the roads were and that the tall concrete walls had barbed wire on the top. Someone made a comment about is it to keep people in or out? And how it is a little painful to see people have to fear their own community. But once we were past the gate we were in a paradise again.

It's dark out so we can't see to much of the grounds but the house Sam's parents have built is incredible. It's all clean lines and arches and lights. And as soon as we got here (after taking our shoes off to leave outside) we were greeted with hugs. And everyone has been so lovely.

Drinks and dancing and music and laughing. I got to give Sam's family the bracelets I made for them. And I have had some wonderful talks. Everyone is drinking and so happy and it's great. I am so happy for Sam and Paul. And the beautiful families they are bringing together. Like I could cry I am so happy for them.

And tonight has been so fun. I obviously did not eat the meat but James said it was amazing. One of the guys, Gabe, said it was incredible and James thought they were exaggerating but they were not. Everything I did have was so good. More potatoes and a slaw that was red and a salsa and avocado and naan. I also tried the papaya juice and it was all so fresh tasting. I would have liked a sauce of some kind because I like dips but I was still enjoying it so much.

I have been trying to just be very present. But as people are chilling and the dancing has calmed down (I was enjoying dancing too!!) and the speaker just died I wanted to get this finished up. I am not sure when the night will be over. But I'm really happy. This first day was so good. I can't wait to see what tomorrow is like.

I love you all. Until next time! Goodnight!

[epithet-beloved]

ROVER GADABOUT ROMANTIC HEADCANONS

synopsis… headcanons about being in a romantic relationship with Rover Gadabout

ft. Rover Gadabout, [SUE] (mentioned), Robin Stardancer (mentioned), Rover’s unnamed daughter (mentioned)

tags… anime campaign, anime campaign filler, relationship study, Rover is gross, like really gross, but you love him, fluff, lots of van jokes, Rover does not have custody of his daughter

word count… 916

a/n… @purpleisdebeste THIS IS ALL FOR YOU MAN. I STUDIED FOR THIS AND EVERYTHING. This blog exists to write obscure anime campaign characters and I am determined to know all of the rare sillies. Collect them all like pilot command cards ✧ 🦄

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for ten years, he still lives in his fucking van.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You could have a house with a mortgage and he would still sleep in his van every night. Just walks into the garage, climbs into the backseat and conks out.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 I feel like Rover’s love language is quality time. Not so much a guy for receiving gifts because he doesn’t see the point in being gifted a sweet dessert or savory meal when hamburgers out of the dumpster suit him just fine.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 However, he will gift you things that he’s found in the trash, so please accept them with a smile. Even if he doesn’t show it all the time, he likes making you happy.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 An ideal date for him is watching VHS tapes on a CRT TV in the back of his van and eating cup noodles.

“Why do you like watching Scooby Doo so much?”

He stared at the TV vacantly. “There’s a van in it.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Also, the mental fortitude you need to possess to cuddle this smelly man is unimaginable. I salute you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He drapes himself over you like you’re the park bench he’s sleeping on. In fact, he does often fall asleep on you. You can’t get up now. Cat logic.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Being Rover’s partner essentially means you have to make sure he doesn’t get himself hurt or get into any insane shenanigans. So as long as he has the keys to his van, you’re probably fine.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Several dates do consist of dumpster diving and otherwise rummaging through garbage. Even if he has the money to actually shop, he just prefers this. He’s just like this.

“Hey look, I found an old sweater.” Rover held up a sweater with several stains of questionable origin on it. “It would look cute on you.”

With a blush and feelings of concern, you’d stutter, “Maybe…..I think we’d need to wash it first. Several times over.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Rover isn’t actually bad at things like cooking or doing laundry, half the time he just chooses not to because he’s fine being a strange trash man. Just remind him to go to the laundromat every now and again.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 He puts little things that remind him of you all over his van. A little figure from a show you like on the dashboard, a bumper sticker, an air freshener…..any little trinket he can collect that he relates to you. He’s kind of a hoarder, honestly.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 The two of you actually painted his van together. It was super fun and sweet, and he was better at painting than you thought!

“Did you have any ideas on what to paint, or….?” You looked at Rover, who was staring at the side of his van with a hand on his chin. For Rover, he seemed weirdly thoughtful.

“Maybe……another van.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 There isn’t really a rhyme or reason to why Rover falls in love with you, he just sort of latches on and starts to associate you with home.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Rover has a penchant for things other people might pass over, like food out of the garbage or dollar bills on the ground. So he sees worth in you where other people might not. He honestly doesn’t understand how no one else was with you already, you were so sweet and considerate to even a bum like him. There’s no way he could pass up a diamond in the rough like you.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Since he does mention having a daughter in the rp session, it’s likely that he’s had some sort of past relationship that didn’t end well. As such, he can actually be kind of insecure, as much as he hides it behind a blank expression. Please give this man some extra loving, he needs it.

“I don’t know why you stayed,” he announced suddenly as he laid his head in your lap. “But I’m glad you did. I just feel like I should say that.”

“Why wouldn’t I, though?” You ran your fingers through his messy hair. “I just love you.”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Speaking of his daughter, you get to see her sometimes! He doesn’t have custody or anything, but he does pick her up from school and take her to dance practice sometimes. I imagine her to be middle school age, since it’s mentioned she likes Robin, who’s a tween idol. Even if she’s kind of embarrassed that she’s getting picked up from school by her smelly dad in his trashy van, she’s still happy to see you two.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 (Especially since you convince Rover to take her to an actual restaurant for dinner instead of dumpster diving.)

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 When you were first introduced to his daughter, she loudly announced how glad she was that her dad finally had someone else in his life, and she was scared that he’d NEVER get a partner again. Poor Rover is covering his face with his hands and insisting she cut it out.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Other people react similarly to your relationship. Robin and [SUE] are fangirling over how cute you two are together, and that Rover secretly has a soft side! How adorable!

“I can’t believe Rover has a [ROMANTIC PARTNER]! You guys are so my [OTP]!”

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 Instead of an engagement ring, he gives you an extra copy of the keys to his van. That’s how you know he trusts you more than anything.

𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 You know you’re with him for the long haul when he starts referring to it as “our van” instead of “my van”. You truly are stuck with him for life.