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mismatched-sockss · 6 months ago

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You're my future, past and present

» Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader » Word count: 6,4k » Warnings: spoiler mentioned for 9x23 Angels / 9x24 Demons, Spencer's POV, exes to lovers, set after s15, anxious!Spencer, reader feels guilty at one point, language? (one 'bitch' from reader to reader), mentions of past fights, minor misunderstandings, random old lady plays cupid <3, fluff, kissing, how many phrases for being in love can one pack in two paragraphs? me: yes., » A/N: my brain is on strike for finishing bingo fics for some reason, it instead gave us this so yay!, i'm still working on those of course but i can't tell when i will get the next one done (in the words of one Penelope Garcia: Why do the last 10% always take the longest?), hopefully by the end of the week; it's lightly implied that reader can get pregnant in the beginning but it's not explicitly said (only mentions of kids), which is the reason i tagged it as fem but no mentions of anything body related or any pronouns (i think so, please let me know if i missed pronouns), so it might as well can be read as gn; no body description --- pls take a look here for more info about my reader descriptions in general

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He should have asked Penelope for a favour to look you up, before he came here. He had no idea how your life had changed in all these years he hadn't seen you or if you even wanted to see him again. It didn't particularly sound like it the last time he saw you.

You could be happily married with kids for all he knew. The thought alone almost made him turn around without even knocking on your door. He didn't know what he would do if this was the case. Or maybe you didn't even live here any more, you could have moved; to the other side of the city, to another state. Another country. You had toyed with the idea to move to Scotland back then, it very well could be that you had acted on it.

Too much time had past, five whole years – five years, three months, twenty-one days and eleven hours, forty-two minutes to be exact; but who was counting, right? – and there was too much history, too much heartbreak. Too many reasons why it hadn't worked out.

The main – and kind of only – ones being his job at the BAU and everything that came with it. The travelling and never being home, not even a free day or annual leave really meant not getting called in, the late nights, the worries that he could get hurt and may not be coming back home, the worries when he got hurt.

You had your reasons to break it off and he still thought that you were right to do so. He never held it against you, never resented you for leaving. Because he understood. If the roles would have been reversed, he may would have made the same decisions.

This whole idea was stupid. Why was he even here. He should just leave.

What did he think would happen when you saw him? That showing up out of nowhere – with no contact since the break up, not even a single text message – and having a 'new' job would change everything and would make you jump back into his arms in an instant like nothing happened? Yeah... Sure...

Maybe, deep down and in the tiniest crack of his heart, he didn't even want you to open the door; didn't want to see your reaction to him just showing up and the inevitable rejection that would surely come. He was sabotaging himself, really. And if he would be more honest to himself, he'd knew that. Maybe he did, but just didn't want to see it.

Spencer had been pacing back and forth in front of your door for an eternity by now; walking closer to it and already lifting his hand to knock, but changing his mind before his fingers even came close and he was walking a few feet away to leave, only to change his mind again and repeat the whole ordeal. Over. And over. And over.

He just couldn't make his mind up, he didn't know what to do. It shouldn't be this hard to knock on a door. Especially yours. But maybe it was this hard for him because it was yours.

At one point, he, a man of science, even asked the universe to give him a sign, to show him what he should do; if he should do it or if he should go.

That's when it happened.

Right after, as he was walking closer to the door again, he tripped over his own damn feet and he ended up kicking the door with his shoe; not hard, but audible enough.

Shit. Not the sign he was looking for. A pedestrian screaming something outside that he could twist into an answer, a car honking when he either was close to the door or walking away; hell, even a spam mail popping up on his phone that had a certain word in the subject line... No, it had to be this way.

Now he had to knock.

Taking a shaky breath, he hit his knuckles against the wood a couple of times and started fidgeting with his fingers as soon as he had lowered his hands. His heart was in his throat as he waited anxiously. His mind in a constant battle of 'please be home' and 'please don't be home'.

A moment later – both too short and too long at the same time – the door opened just a crack and it was really you standing there. Not some random person that would tell him you moved. You.

You didn't turn your head just yet, looking back over your shoulder instead, you held out your arm behind you and said “Stay there” in a soft voice to someone behind you. When you turned you blocked the entrance with your body and kept your left hand on the door.

Your eyes grew wide when you saw him. Spencer probably was about the last person you would have expected to see when you opened the door. He couldn't bring himself to break the silence first, didn't dare to speak.

“Oh, hey... Uh-”, you stammered looking for words, blinking in confusion. For a moment you opened and closed your mouth, and he knew you were hating that you looked like a fish out of the water, before you gave up and just settled for another “Hi.”

“Hi.” He hated how shaky his voice sounded. He cleared his throat and averted his eyes for a moment, looking down at his hands and the floor before he met your gaze again.

“Wow, it- it's been a while.”

“Yeah...”

“How long 's it been? Five years?”

“Five years, three months and twenty-one days.” Spencer pressed his lips together before he could blurt out the hours and minutes as well.

You laughed – not mean, but endearing – and the sound combined with the smile that spread on your lips made his heart leap. “Right.”

God, how much he had missed your laugh; how much he had missed you. Now that you stood before him, it became evident, that all the longing and yearning he had felt in the past years had been nothing more than a fraction of what he was really feeling; repressed by throwing himself into work and keeping his mind off you as much as he could.

His love for you never went away, never dulled even the slightest bit, and seeing you now was almost too overwhelming for him, his feelings for you crashing over him, nearly sweeping him off his feet.

“Uhm, I was just about to go to the park with Cleo”, you started, shooting a look over your shoulder and Spencer's heart dropped. He could have sworn it stopped beating for a few seconds as well. The Stay there hadn't rung any alarms in his mind, it could have been said to any person really. Going to the park with Cleo however...

He really should have asked Penelope to look you up before he came. You had a kid.

And since he could only see the heel of your left hand and not your fingers, he couldn't be a hundred percent sure, but there was a high chance there was a ring on your finger.

“Oh, I'm sorry to hold you up. I'll just, uhm-”, he stammered choked up and pointed his thumbs over his shoulder, taking a step back, about to turn away and leave.

“No”, you exclaimed, maybe a bit too quickly and panicked, as you held out your right hand like you wanted to reach for his arm; even making a small step out of the door. “You don't have to leave. You could- uh, you could come with us? If you want to.” If he wouldn't know better, he'd say there was a pleading look in your eyes, begging him to say yes and stay.

His mouth opened, but no words came out, no matter how hard he tried. He didn't even know what he wanted to say.

'Yes sure, let's go to the park with your daughter and rip my heart into pieces seeing and hearing about you living the life I dreamt of having with you, with another man'.

A plain 'No.' would be too rude, wouldn't it? Even if he would add a 'thank you' at the end, it didn't feel right.

“She uh- she likes meeting new people, she's really open; sometimes I'm afraid she'll walk off with anyone. Come here, girl.” You looked over your shoulder again and tapped your flat hand against your thigh a couple of times, then some clicking and scratching could be heard behind you on the parquet floor.

The speckled snout of an Australian Shepherd pushed in the space between your knee and the door, then tried to push through further after seeing Spencer. With a laugh you took a hold of the collar and held the dog back from running out.

“Cleo, stay.” You squatted down next to her, petting her head and scratched behind her ear. ”I have to warn you, she can be a bit rough when she gets excited.” A wide smile was on your face as you looked up at Spencer. “I've been trying to teach her to not jump up on everyone she meets, but it doesn't stick.”

Just like that, he felt like he could breathe again. Cleo wasn't your daughter but your dog and the ring you were indeed wearing on your left hand was one he recognized from your jewellery box.

A relieved chuckle left his lips and he mirrored your position. He held out his hand for Cleo to smell before he touched her. She really was excited; she was pulling against your hold and tried to get closer, her tail was waggling so hard her whole body moved in the rhythm and she nudged her nose against his palm hard after a short sniff, so he would pet her.

You did your best to hold her back, but after Spencer verbally said hi to her and was petting her on both sides of her head she surged forward; your hand slipped from the collar and Cleo threw her whole weight against him, making him loose balance and topple over.

With an outstretched arm he held himself up, laughing, as your dog rubbed her head against his torso and hand and was spinning around a couple of times between his legs, repeatedly leaning herself into him with every turn.

“Cleo!” Your voice had a warning tone to it that hadn't fully replaced your laugh though, not until she let out a small bark and started to lick over his face. “No! Stop!” You pulled her away and moved her back into the apartment; Cleo only reluctantly complied.

Before he could react, you shuffled closer on your knees until you kneeled right before him and in between his legs. You reached out and started to wipe the side of his face clean; the sleeve of your sweater pulled over your fingers. “I'm so sorry, she's usually not that excited. I have never seen her do this to someone that isn't me.”

He froze when you got close and he felt your touch, every soft stroke leaving behind a trail of fire, even with the thin fabric barrier between you. One would think his heart couldn't pound any faster in his chest than it already had since he had laid eyes on you again, but it did.

“It's- hu, it's okay”, he stammered as he was watching you intensely, with wide eyes.

“No, it's not”, you said softly and took his chin between your thumb and index finger, slightly tilting his head to the side as you tried to get everything off. “Do you want a wet wipe or something? You can come in and wash your face if you'd prefer that.”

Spencer couldn't help the smile stretching on his lips, his heart warming over the fact that you were still looking out for him, after all these years; after everything that had happened and all the things that had been said the day you broke up with him. His hand moved on its own accord and he wrapped his hand around your wrist, stopping you. “Really, it's okay.”

You met his gaze, heat rising in your cheeks and it was like you only now realized how close the both of you were sitting and that you were touching him. For a second you froze, your eyes wide. Then, after a deep breath, you pulled back to bring some distance between you and cleared your throat, looking away.

He could tell there was an apology forming on your tongue, but you swallowed it down. You began to nervously fidget with the hem of your sleeve and cleared your throat. “So, uh, do you want to come with us? There is this coffee shop on the way that opened about six months ago and they're really good, we- we could grab a coffee and catch up...?”

“I'd really like that.”

It was easy, talking to you. The initial awkwardness and anxiety he had been feeling had quickly faded and the both of you were talking as freely and open as before, like no time had passed; and he was incredibly grateful for it. Neither of you had been going to personal topics for now though – the closest thing to personal in a deeper sense was when you asked about his mom –, the both of you had been talking more about everything and anything.

[..] Did you end up getting that book collection you had your eyes on? - When did you get Cleo? - Oh, do you remember my coworker Grace? All the rumours really were true! - Is your neighbour still vacuuming solely in the middle of the night? [..]

About halfway to the park you stopped at the café you had mentioned and while you were waiting in line, you told him about the different coffee varieties they offered; the flavours, how strong they were, how sweet, the seasonal ones. You had drunk your way through the list three times and until you decided on your Top 5.

He crinkled his nose in adoration as he was listening to you rambling about the coffee – what you liked about each one and why you didn't like another – totally engrossed by you; you had done this in the past as well and it made Spencer happy that you still were. It was adorable. He wondered, if you still wrote down your Top 5's in that little notebook you had always kept in your purse.

The one you recommended to him was really good, you had met his taste precisely; the perfect amount of sweetness just how he liked it, and with a hint of vanilla and cinnamon.

There were many occasions he was about to reach for your hand, it was almost instinctually when you were this close to him. He didn't know if you would let him, if you would want it. So Spencer didn't. Instead he buried his hand deep into the pocket of his coat to keep himself from reaching for you, holding a tight grip on an old pack of gum he forgot was even in there.

Throughout the whole way from your apartment to the park, Cleo was happily dancing around you, just shy of making one of you trip over her. That she didn't circle around the both of you to wrap the leash around your legs – all '101-Dalmatians'-like – was all.

After you arrived at the park you walked a bit further in until you came to a fenced area that seemed to be reserved for dogs for them to freely run around without having to be leashed. As soon as you unhooked the leash from Cleo's collar she dashed forward, joining a group of dogs playing.

Spencer and you sat down on a bench and just sat in comfortable silence for a moment, watching her. His hands got clammy as he got nervous because of the proximity, and he tried to wipe them on his pants as discreetly as he could. You were sitting so close to him, your thighs and shoulders were almost touching; he could feel the warmth radiating from your body and with every soft breeze the smell of your shampoo got carried over.

“So, uh... How have you been?”, you asked after a few minutes.

He huffed out a small laugh and licked over his lips. Where should he even begin. “Long story short? Not good then somewhat okay, bad, worse, better, okay.”

"Sounds like one hell of a roller coaster."

Oh you had no idea how much. And 'hell' sounded about right to be honest. "You could say that... How about you?"

"Wasn't much going on for me to be honest. I've been... okay? After some time at least...”, you admitted nervously, following Cleo with your eyes. “Everything alright at the BAU? How is everyone?”

“Good, they're good.” Spencer started telling you about all the changes within the team, but he left out all the bad stuff for now – he told you about Alex leaving, about Tara joining after practically a 36 hour long job interview for the open position, JJ and Will having a second child, that Morgan left and had married Savanah and that they had a son as well, Garcia vehemently trying – but ultimately failing – to hate the newbie Luke.

“Rossi got married last year.”

“Really? Again?” You let out a soft laugh.

“He re-married his third wife actually. They got back together after-” He had to stop for a second and swallowed hard as the spark of hope was reigniting in his chest. If Dave and Krystall had found their way back to each other after thirty years and made it work, five years didn't sound all that bad in retrospective. He tried to play it off like he was trying to remember the exact number of years. “Around three decades, I think.”

“Wow... That's a lot of time..”

“It is.” For a short moment Spencer didn't say anything more, trying to muster up the courage to tell you he left the team as well.

“And I- uh” He huffed out a small laugh, nervous, and let his gaze wander over the meadow. There he goes... “I'm not- I'm not with the BAU any more, actually.”

“...Oh”

For a moment you didn't say anything else and his heart beat faster. He couldn't a hundred percent gauge what your silence meant. What the oh meant. Did you care? Were you relieved or maybe even sad for him? Could – would – it change anything between you, even after all this time? Would you give the both of you a second chance? Him?

Hope started to rise up again in his chest and he tried to stop it and keep it at bay, so it wouldn't take over him; it would only crush him even more to lose you a second time if he'd let it happen. Spencer's breathing became more shallow and slightly faster as he waited for you to say more.

He could just turn his head to look at your face of course, study your expressions to get his answer without you saying another word. He didn't. Something held him back; maybe it was only because he was respecting your wishes from years ago not to profile you. Maybe it was fear of what he would see.

He heard you clear your throat and when you spoke, your voice was shaking, almost undetectable however. If you wouldn't sit so close to him – and if it wouldn't be you and he wouldn't be him – one probably wouldn't have noticed. “Why not?”

“Re-assignment due to budget-cuts or something like that. There were a couple of people higher up the food chain than Emily that had it out for us for a couple of years now.” His eyes followed Cleo sprinting over the grass, chasing and playing with the other dogs.

“Emily is back?”, you asked. The last thing you knew was that she had left for London not long after she came back from the dead.

“Yeah, she took over from Hotch after-” He stopped himself.

Telling you about Hotch and Scratch and why Emily fully became Unit Chief of the BAU, meant he had to tell you about everything else; everything that had happened to him. He just wasn't ready for this yet. This would have to be a story for another day; for both your and his sake.

“Anyway, I uh- I'm teaching now. Full-time. Mostly at the academy and some colleges here and there. But all in all-” Spencer took a deep breath. “Fixed work hours and no travelling for longer than a day.”

Only when he felt you tense up did he bring himself to look at you. You were sitting up with a straight back, eyebrows furrowed, lips slightly pursed. Your eyes were darting around and he watched a muscle twitch on your jaw.

He quickly looked away again, concentrating on Cleo again, before he could read you more. He couldn't help it, it was hard not to and turn it off. By now profiling was in his blood, it was a subconscious habit he couldn't always control, it just happened. You didn't want to get profiled, so he did what he could do to not use his profession on you. If it meant turning away and not look at you, even if he was only looking just to see you, he'd do it.

Also, he knew that he was biased; another reason why he shouldn't. What he would see and read would not be accurate. Usually, this was not a problem, he could read body language and micro-expressions with a 99,42% accuracy, since he'd do it with a neutral stand. But right now it was personal.

What ever Spencer would see in your non-verbal communication, he was too involved to not let his judgement get clouded by his feelings for you, his hopes and his fears. He would only see what he wanted to see, or what he not wanted to see, depending on which part of his heart was winning at the moment; the confident and hopeful part, or the insecure and anxious part.

“That's... That's nice. Do you like it?” He wished, he knew what you were thinking right now. Your tone didn't give much away on how you were feeling, but you seemed a bit more relaxed to him.

“Yeah, it's fun. There are some key topics on the curriculum I have to cover of course, but other than that I have pretty much full reign over the subject matters. Learning is more fun when it is about something you're really interested in, so I take suggestions from my students for a lot of the lectures. It's been paying off already.” He smiled proudly. “They contribute more and most grades have gone up.”

Slowly, the longer you talked as the evening proceeded and the sun slowly began to set, he let himself go, allowed his heart to open up and he welcomed the prospect of having you back in his life – to what ever extent it may be, even if only as a friend if that was what you wanted.

His heart had leaped when you shared you weren't seeing anyone and it hadn't slowed down it's pace ever since. Both of you had been talking and asking about it in the most complicated and conspicuously inconspicuous ways one can ask 'are you dating someone?'.

Not only this, but you wanted to spent more time with him. Spencer couldn't believe his luck. It was almost too good to be true and he feared he might wake up from this wonderful dream any minute.

He could tell how nervous you were when you asked him; hands and voice shaking, fingers fidgeting with Cleos leash in your lap, your eyes not daring to meet his.

"Tonight is this big bonfire at the Benson's farm, you know, the one with the apple orchard? I was thinking of going and.. maybe if you- I mean, if you are free tonight and want, uh- Would you like to go with me?"

There was nothing he'd rather do, nowhere he'd rather be.

After a short stop at your apartment to bring Cleo home and for the both of you to freshen up, you made your way to the farm. It was a fairly short drive and the roads were mostly empty as it got later, a bright full moon illuminating the way now.

When you arrived, there weren't too many people present. It felt more like a large family gathering than a big event. At a decent distance were benches placed around the huge bonfire, there was a tent where various beverages and a few food options were served. Next to it stood a truck from the fire department and an ambulance; a precaution if the fire got out of control or someone got hurt.

The air smelled of smoke and burning wood, french fries, beer and Mrs. Benson's home made apple pie.

Sorry, Mr. Benson's apple pie as Spencer learned some time after you arrived. You introduced him to the hosts and you started to talk about a new recipe for the pie filling you had tried to make and Mr. Benson explained what he would have done different than the recipe you found had stated.

The Benson's were nice people – he had met them once when he had accompanied you to the farm to get apples and honey. You had gotten closer to them since then, dropping by to help them out from time to time, especially when it was time for the harvest.

He had to catch his breath as his heart fluttered, his eyes glued to your face as he watched you talk with old man Benson. The way your eyes wrinkled at the corners when you smiled and the excited glint in your eyes, how the fire painted beautiful orange patterns on your face as the flames danced high, fuelled by the soft breeze; combined with the silvery light of the full moon shining bright. You looked ethereal.

Spencer became increasingly aware of said man's wife and her three friends, who stood a little farther away. The women were whispering to each other and kept looking over, one of them not so subtlety pointing at the both of you. They weren't talking badly, not at all; they were smiling and giggling as they were talking, nodding at what the other ones were saying, swooning with their hands over their hearts from time to time.

It could only mean one thing – and he wasn't sure if he should be embarrassed about it, or not: that he all too obviously for everyone around looked as love struck as he felt; utterly bewitched by your beauty, completely head over heels, truly madly and deeply in love with you in every way, a total goner who was worshipping the ground you were walking on.

Thank god for the warm shine of the fire, or they would be able to see the blush rising up his neck in this moment as well... He just was glad that he had finished his piece of pie before this, otherwise he'd probably stand here with an open mouth and the fork frozen in mid air as he was looking at you. Now, that would have been a good picture.

What he didn't know though, was that they weren't just talking about the smitten look on his face, but yours as well. The longing glances you shot his way whenever he wasn't looking, how you were orbiting around him like the earth around the sun, a magnetic pull to each other that not even the both of you seemed to realise you had as you unconsciously stepped closer to the other when you stood too far apart. They talked about the fact, that you looked at Spencer with such a happy and beaming smile they hadn't seen on your face in a long time.

And that they could tell how hesitant and shy the both of you were about getting closer.

It's not like he didn't want to, believe me. The urge to hold your hand or wrap his arms around you – to kiss you – was still burning in every fibre of his body and it got more and more challenging to hold back, the longer he was around you. Leaving out the tiny part in him that was still afraid of getting rejected, he didn't want to impose on you by acting on it. He didn't want to possibly make you uncomfortable, so he left it to you to initiate any physical contact.

Admittedly, this was very much a bad plan if you were doing the same and were waiting for him to make the first move. However, the universe seemed to take matters in its own hands again.

Spencer had to remove himself from of the situation for a moment to restore some of his composure and not ogle you non-stop; especially not in front of all these people. He let you know that he would get the both of you something to drink and asked what he should get for you; when he came back, Mr. Benson had left.

For some time you stayed close to the fire, until he saw you lift your hand to fan yourself some air. “Too warm?”

You let out a small laugh and smiled at him. “Yeah, it starts getting a bit too much.”

He took the now empty cup from you and with a tilt of his head he signalled you to follow him. He gave the cups back to the person behind the make-shift bar counter and you walked a little farther away, putting some distance between you and both the tent and the fire. And the people too actually, the majority had gathered close around the flames in small groups.

“That's much better”, you sighed. “I like a nice fire as much as the next pers- oh.”

Before you could finish, you lost your balance when a body collided with yours from behind. You stumbled forward and Spencer instinctively reached out to catch you – he got a hold of your arms with a firm grip on them right above your elbows as you fell into him, bringing up your own hands to hold onto his shoulders.

“Oh, dear, I am so sorry, I must have tripped over something. Are you okay?”, the voice of a woman came from behind you.

Neither of you let go of the other as you turned to face her. Spencer recognized her as one of the women that had talked with Mrs. Benson earlier and the look on her face told a whole different story than her words; that she wasn't sorry at all and that it had been deliberately planned to bump into you.

“I'm okay, no worries. Are you?”, you asked her and quickly scanned her for injuries.

“Ooh, I'm good. I'm good...”, she replied, almost in a sing-sang kind of tone and a wide smile on her lips. She snickered softly and walked away, her hand raised with a lazy kind of flick in her wrist as a wave good-bye.

The both of you watched her walk away, baffled.

“Okayyy”, you let out as you kept your eyes on her for a moment longer. “As long as she didn't twist her ankle or something.”

You turned your head, and just like earlier in front of your apartment, it seemed like you only just now realised the position you were in when your eyes met his. How close you were and that you were still holding on to each other.

Only this time, you didn't pull away.

The world around him seemed to fade away, time standing still, as he held your gaze. Your breath hitched and when his eyes flickered down to your lips, Spencer felt your grip on him tighten, subconsciously pulling him closer to you. His heart was in his throat and it beat so loud that he was sure you were able to hear it. He let his eyes wander back up and when he saw that you were looking at his lips as well, he threw all caution in the wind and just... did it.

He let go of your elbows, took your face in his hands and leaned in, hovering his lips over yours for a short moment to give you an out, to give you time to pull away, but you didn't; instead you closed the small space that was left between you.

A long and deep sigh rumbled in the back of his throat when your lips met and he pulled you closer; as you leaned into him, your hands moved higher until your fingers were tangled in his hair, slightly tugging on it.

When you pulled back – more than reluctantly, but the both of you were still in public – , you were panting, your breaths mingling as your faces were still so close to each other. Spencer kept his eyes closed for a moment longer, not quiet ready to open them yet, afraid that when he did, he would wake up from an incredibly vivid dream.

“I'm sorry”, you suddenly choked out, which made him open his eyes in an instant. Tears were streaming down your face and you took a step back, keeping him at arms length. “I am so sorry, Spencer.”

“Hey, what's wrong? Talk to me, please.” Your emotions had changed so suddenly, he didn't know what happened, what made you cry. He wasn't sure what he should do, how he could help you calm down.

“I'm sorry”, you repeated, shaking your head.

“What for?” Did you regret letting him get close to you again; kissing him? Did you regret, that you hadn't just closed the door right in his face as soon as you had seen him this afternoon?

“Everything!” you choked out. “For how I acted all the time and for leaving like that, for leaving when I did. That I didn't contact you even once. For saying all those things, it wasn't fair. It never was. You didn't deserve it. I was so mean for no reason...” You sniffled and wiped the back of your hand under your nose. “I regretted every word the moment I said it, I didn't mean any of it. I couldn't stop talking and it was like I was losing control over myself and it all just came out and-....”

“Hey, I know...” Spencer took a small step closer to you. “In that moment it hurt, yes. And it took a lot of time until it stopped hurting; sometimes it still does. But I get it. You were scared. Some people get angry and lash out at the people around them when they are scared, especially directed at the person they are scared for; everyone reacts different. It's a totally normal reaction, I don't blame you.“

A sob came over your lips, your face twisting in pain. “Please don't be like that...”

His brows furrowed, a short and sharp pain in his chest. “Like what?”, he breathed out.

“So understanding... I acted like a total bitch to you! You should hate me... Why don't you hate me?” Your voice broke and got smaller with every word.

The corners of his mouth slightly raised to the whisper of a smile and Spencer closed the distance between you, lifting his hands to cup your cheeks. He wholeheartedly meant what he said next; there was not one thing he could think of that would change anything about it.

“I could never hate you.”

“You were shot. You needed me and left you alone and-”

“I've had worse. Before that day in Texas and certainly after”, he trailed off and softly shook his head when your brows furrowed even more, pain and fear so evidently in your eyes; he could tell that you knew he wasn't talking about anything related to the break-up.

“It's okay, I'm okay.” Spencer brushed your tears away, holding your face so gently in his hands as if you'd break into a million pieces if he wasn't careful enough. By the looks of it, you may very well would. Not a risk he was willing to take.

You opened your mouth to say something, but he stopped you from asking what had happened after, by placing his thumb over your lips. “Not tonight.” Gently, he brushed his thumb over your bottom lip to the corner of your mouth. “We'll talk about it all and I will tell you everything, I promise. Just.. not tonight, okay?”

He wanted to stay in that little bubble you had created a little longer and ignore everything else but the feeling of having you back in his arms, being able to kiss and hug and touch you again, he just wanted to revel in your presence and your love. Everything else could wait; the guilt, the talking it out, the pain and especially all the bad stuff he had held back.

You pulled him closer by the collar of his jacket until there was no room left between you. For a second you fought with yourself, your eyes darting back and forth between his like you were looking for something in his gaze before you acted on what you wanted to do. Then-

“I love you.”

Before he could say, think or do anything else, Spencer dove down and pressed his lips against yours, smiling widely into the kiss. His heart was racing and he felt like a huge burden had fallen from his shoulders that he didn't even know he had been carrying. When he pulled back he rested his forehead against yours, his eyes closed. “I love you.”

He couldn't hold back his own soft laugh when he heard you giggle happily before you said: “I can't believe you still want me...”

“It's you. It's always been you and it always will be you.”

#spencer reid #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x fem!reader #spencer x reader #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfiction #ghosts can write #💜 s.r.#--- mismatched🧦

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ourhees · 2 months ago

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EMAILS i CANT SEND ── PJS

PREC𝓲S ｡｡ 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗃𝗈𝗇𝗀𝗌𝖾𝗈𝗇𝗀, 𝖺 𝖿𝖺𝗆𝗈𝗎𝗌 𝗐𝖺𝗍𝖼𝗁 𝖽𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝗋 𝗂𝗇 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗂𝗌, 𝗐𝗁𝗈 𝗐𝖺𝗌 𝖺𝗅𝗌𝗈 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖻𝗈𝗒𝖿𝗋𝗂𝖾𝗇𝖽 𝖻𝖾𝖿𝗈𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝗂𝗌 𝖻𝗂𝗀 𝖻𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗄. 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝗆𝗈𝗇𝗍𝗁𝗌 𝗈𝖿 𝗇𝗈 𝖼𝗈𝗇𝗍𝖺𝖼𝗍, 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝗌𝗈𝗋𝗍 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗈𝗎𝗀𝗁 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖾𝗆𝖺𝗂𝗅𝗌, 𝖿𝗂𝗇𝖽𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖿𝖺𝗂𝗅𝖾𝖽 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗌 𝗍𝗈 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗎𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝖾𝖺𝖼𝗁 𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋

박종성 ／⠀ 𝑓𝑒𝑚𝑎𝑙𝑒 reader ── slight angst + non 𝑖𝑑𝑜𝑙 au ｡｡ jay debut on my acc we screamed & for mils duh because she’s my jong girl >_< !! ∿ ✦ more

THE SOUND OF YOUR COMPUTER GOES OFF as you continued to work on your last designs for the night. your boss sent out one last email about final submissions before the fashion show in milan for next month.

you were a fashion designer, designing clothing for women in fashion shows. your job had its perks, your creativity was on showcase for many to see, many to hopefully buy if it went successful. although your life was at its high right now, back then it wasn’t.

four months ago you were in the happiest relationship possible, or so you thought. jay was a sweet guy, he always had you in his thoughts, he was your protector. who knew your protector could suddenly switch up and change drastically ?

jay had moved to france, his dream country, he also got a job as a famous watch designer. designing watches in paris was jay’s dream, something he took seriously and did whatever it took to achieve it. leaving you behind was one thing, it hurt more than any wound.

jay was living his best life, doing his dream job in his dream country. you tried to continue with life, the only way to move forward, was to move on and push through.

you hit sent on your final email, your mouse running over the words “draft”. you clicked on it, slightly curious about all your drafted emails, that’s when you saw it.

drafts: 76 unsent emails.

seventy six times, you tried to reach out to jay, in hopes of bringing you two back together, those messages never made it to him. you went back and forth with your inner thoughts whether or not you should send them, afraid of jays reaction. after seventy six times, you decided to stop saving emails and move forward.

your heart hurt as you scrolled to view more emails, more failed attempts of starting back something you once held so close to you.

subject: i miss you more than anything

to: [email protected]

y/[email protected]: jay it’s me.. i miss you so much, the winters are colder without your warmth. something i can’t live without. i hope paris is good, have you tried the fresh croissants yet? remember our dream back when we were teens? going to the eiffel tower after a fresh french breakfast. we were young and wild, i miss us.

please take care of yourself jay, i mean it.

with love, y/n.

and another.

subject: merry christmas my love

to: [email protected]

y/[email protected]: merry christmas jay ! i hope you got everything you dreamed this year, maybe even more. i miss our little traditions, like watching home alone on christmas eve. our matching pajamas which i still have and wear. i also still have that locket you gifted me, i hold it close to my heart, like i do with you. please get back to me soon, i want to make things right.

with love, y/n.

you closed your laptop, pushing it away as you sat up, preparing yourself for a late night walk. late night walks have always helped you clear your mind, especially late at night, when all your thoughts roamed to jay’s whereabouts.

even though things were hard for you, they were even harder for jay. jay sat up in his bed, checking his emails for the night before getting ready for a huge meeting in the morning. his fingers glided onto the touchpad, navigating his way through the emailing system.

jay’s computer pointer landed on the words “drafts”. with curiously, jay clicks drafts, finding over 70 emails of his failed attempts to reach out.

subject: paris update.

to: y/[email protected]

hey sweet girl, i’ve made it to paris. i’m scared i won’t lie, i’m far away from you so i won’t be protecting you, not like i was doing a good job at it anyways. you taught me a lot in life and that’s why i’m chasing my dreams. let’s talk soon okay?

missing you, jay.

and another.

subject: paris fashion

to: y/[email protected]

hey sweet girl, all the paris fashion reminds me of you. i know how much you love creating designs and everything everyone wears here has a touch of you to it. i good your job is going well, sending you a few french clothing pieces, hope you like it.

with love always, jay.

jay did send you a few pieces of french clothing. a gorgeous skirt with detailing that called your name, a few tops that hugged your chest perfectly, and a black fur coat, similar to the one who’ve been working on for months.

jay continued to scroll through his drafted emails, all his failed attempts to try to reconnect, all his late night thoughts. missing you was an understatement, he wanted to be with you, but jay never knew if the feeling was mutual.

his thoughts of you never left, jay was hurting. although his dreams did come true, one dream was left behind and it was you. you were his present, past, snd hopefully his future. jay was determined to see you again, the real question was, how was he going to see you.

jay did a few calls before heading to sleep, asking a few of his coworkers about your designing company and when the next fashion show in milan may be. his eyes lighting up the minute he heard you may come to milan in a month for the show.

this was his opportunity, his opportunity to spend time with you and reconnect. after his calls, jay went back into his email, his movements leading back to the “new email” page.

it took a while for jay to find the right wording, knowing this email would actually get sent to you, no backing down. his heart faced as he typed, the clicking easing his mind slowly.

subject: let’s meet again.

to: y/[email protected]

hey sweet girl, i’ve been thinking over these months, let’s meet up in milan when you get here. i could show you around, maybe take you to get that paris latte you’ve always wanted ? just let me know your flight info and i’ll be there okay??

with love always, jay.

💌 : jay debut on my acc yippie. i’ll proofread in the morning i’m sooo tired so goodnight ! time to honk shooo honk shooo mimimimi BTW FOR @kairoot bc she’s the biggest jay girl eva !

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joelmillerisapunk · 4 days ago

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This is my first time making one of these, and I feel like I should have done it a long time ago. There's been so many amazing fics I've read this past month. This month alone, I've done more reading and reblogging than I ever have, so buckle up 'cause it's about to be a long one. There's roughly 40ish fics here

A big thank you to every single author on this list for taking the time to write these and for the privilege of letting us read these and for free might I add. Your hard work, blood, sweat and tears has not gone unnoticed.

Please read the warnings before you indulge in these wonderful fics 🥰 enjoy!

Acacius

ᯓ★ Foxglove Downs Masterlist - @whocaresstillthelouvre

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x Lucius Verus x Female Reader

Summary: In the exclusive realm of elite show jumping, where wealth stretches as far as the polished estates, Marcus Acacius and Lucius Verus are locked in a fierce competition that reaches far beyond the arena.

ᯓ★ cosmic love - @kedsandtubesocks

Pairing: Marcus Acacius x F!Reader x Marcus Pike

Summary: a missing statue, a handsome ancient roman general, an equally handsome museum visitor - and you caught in the magical (and wonderful) mess of it all

ᯓ★ Wardog - @studioghibelli

Pairing: Marcus x reader

Summary: the twin caesars were cruel, twisted, bad, unfit to rule the sweet empire of rome. but they pale in the shadow that you, their older sister, leaves behind. general acacius sees your hunger for power, your thirst for blood, your drive for ambition- it disgusts him. unfortunately, he cannot resist the temptation that is you.

Dave York

ᯓ★ Law of attraction series - @baronessvonglitter

Pairing: Rom Com AU - divorce lawyer!Dave York x fem!Reader (featuring club owner!Javier Peña)

Summary: Attraction isn't an easy thing to ignore. Especially when you and Dave find yourselves entangled in each other's professional and then private lives.

ᯓ★let them feel - @guiltyasdave

pairing: Dave York x f!reader with a side of whichever Pedro boys you want x f!reader

summary: @/luxurychristmaspudding posted this poll with the compelling question in a room full of p boys, who is getting you off (in front of everyone else 👀)?, which led to the lovely daphne @/sizzlingcloudmentality posting let them see (go read that asap!), which then led to me asking "hey do you mind if i continue this?" and then writing 2k words in a state that i can only describe as possessed. enjoy <3

ᯓ★Fear & Delight - @pedgito

Pairing: Dave York x Reader

Summary: Dave's one last contract to tie up before the holidays proves to be more difficult than he expected.

Din Djarin

ᯓ★For the first time - @sawymredfox

pairing: Din Djarin x fem able-bodied reader

summary: The decision is made, it's time to do it. Hopefully, he'll survive the pain.

Frankie Morales

ᯓ★ Be My Baby - A Very Frankie Christmas - @schnarfer

Pairing: Frankie Morales x F!reader

Summary: Will you be my (Christmas) baby?

ᯓ★ The Layover - @magpiepills

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f reader x f reader’s friend x Santi Garcia

Summary: you and your friend meet a couple guys on their way back to Florida from Colombia. One thing leads to another and you end up at a motel.

ᯓ★ More Than Letters Series - @almostfoxglove

Pairing: Frankie Morales x f!Reader

Summary: You've tried long distance once: in college, after meeting your childhood pen pal Frankie in person for the first time. It didn't work out. More than a decade later, your mom calls with news: a letter has shown up for you with a familiar return address.

ᯓ★ nut vid with the sound on - @syd-djarin

Pairing: frankie "catfish" morales x f!reader

Summary :You accidently send Frankie a text that he wasn't supposed to see.

Javier Peña

ᯓ★Unscripted Desire - @gothcsz

Pairing: pornstar!javixreader

Series summary: you’re a camerawoman that shoots pornos. javier peña is the pornstar you can’t stand. why is it that you’re always so affected by him? Explicit. Minors DNI.

ᯓ★Touch Tank - @thundermartini

Pairing: javier peña x f!reader

Summary:Javier helps you get over a little self-confidence crisis.

ᯓ★Branded - @sawymredfox

pairing: Javier Peña x fem! able-bodied reader

summary: Javier acknowledges something in the middle of the jungle.

ᯓ★The Constant - @milla-frenchy

Pairing: Javier Pena x fem reader

Summary: Javi wakes up after a nightmare

ᯓ★ FYBF- @almostempty

Pairing: Javier x f! reader

Summary: javier takes you home to prove that he can fuck you better than your boyfriend

Joel Miller

ᯓ★A Christmas Miracle - @punkshort

Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: Years of tension after a failed hook-up attempt with Joel boil over at your office Christmas party, but not in the way you expect.

ᯓ★texas red - @studioghibelli

pairing: joel miller x reader, 18+

summary: Joel ain’t used to lovin’ like yours.

ᯓ★ guilty pleasure: a fic in fetlife messages @wintrwinchestr

pairing: joel miller x f!reader oneshot

summary: joel is a freak and is tired of keeping it to himself. he finally decides to make himself a fetlife profile and finds just the type of girl he's been looking for to match his freak: you.

ᯓ★Phonophilia - @ozarkthedog

Pairing: Joel miller x f reader

Summary: Joel Miller loves how responsive you are.

ᯓ★Loopholes series @yxtkiwiyxt

pairing : Joel Miller x f reader

Series Summary: After a recent layoff from your job, you're now facing the end of your work visa in the U.S. which is set to expire soon. Tommy needs to access his trust fund before turning 35 or by marrying, so he presents you with a proposition: pretend to be his fiancée. In return, he’ll sponsor your work visa by putting you on the payroll for Miller Construction. But things get more complicated when you meet Tommy's older brother, Joel, who is skeptical about your fast-tracked engagement.

ᯓ★Fixation - @mssalo

Pairing: joel x f reader

Summary: You have an oral fixation, and Joel is more than happy to keep your mouth busy.

ᯓ★Precision - @mrsmando

Pairing: joel miller x f!reader

summary: joel lets you trim his mustache.

ᯓ★But he's the one i want - @wheresarizona

Pairing: Joel x f!reader

summary: All you needed was to see if your dad’s friend, Joel, had a spare key to your father’s house. Instead, you get railed within an inch of your life on Joel’s couch.

ᯓ★Bad Santa - @baronessvonglitter

Pairing: sleazy mall Santa!Joel Miller x fem!Reader

Summary: Frantically seeking relief during the Christmas rush, the Santa at your local mall is the last person you'd expect to help.. and the only one who can.

ᯓ★it means something - @jolapeno

Pairing: jackson!joel miller x f!reader

Summary: Compliments don’t fall from his tongue, but they drip from his eyes. They land on your skin, healing scars that don’t show; they make you glow, and feel like something worth choosing.

ᯓ★HARDER THAN YOU THINK - @aurorawritestoescape & @milla-frenchy

Pairing:Boss!Joel Miller x f!reader

Summary: It’s your first day at work and you feel nervous. But what can go wrong if your boss is your dad’s best friend, a person you’ve known and trusted for years?

ᯓ★Lie to me - @strang3lov3

Pairing: dark+joel x f reader

Summary: Joel catches you red handed

ᯓ★dance away your cowboy blues - @kedsandtubesocks

Pairing: Country Singer!Joel Miller x F!Reader

summary: who knew the man with the voice of an angel could break your heart this bad?

ᯓ★ The Wold You Feed Series - @arcanefox207

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader

Summary: Set in fictional New England town, you fall for your handsome, intense and outdoorsy neighbor while renting out your parent's vacant summer home during a brutal winter.

ᯓ★Fallin' - @probablyreadinsmut

Pairing: Joel Miller X Afab!Reader

Summary: Reader is Joel's neighbour, a mid to late twenties pastry chef, who finds herself running on fumes. You're married to your high-school sweetheart Matt and for the longest time you were happy.

The loss of his job a few months prior changed him and before you knew it, the man you'd married didn't exist anymore. Replaced by a volatile stranger, it was him, but it wasn't him.

Joel Miller finds himself at the centre of it all and when the world ends, the trouble for him, doesn't end with it.

ᯓ★The Mrs Clause - @probablyreadinsmut

Pairing: Jackson Joel Miller x Afab!Reader

Summary: You and Joel are Patrol partners who have been dancing around your feelings for each other for the longest time. Tommy has had enough of it and decides to intervene, setting Joel and you up as Santa and Mrs Claus.

ᯓ★ Steal Your Girl - @evolnoomym

Pairing:Joel Miller x F!reader

Summary: Joel shows you good time after some dude makes you feel very disappointed.

ᯓ★ A good grade - @itwasntimethatdidit40

Pairing: Perv Art Professor!Joel x afab!reader

Summary: You always thought you would have a future in the art world, until you met Mr. Miller, your professor who decided to make your life hell. What are you willing to do for a good grade?

ᯓ★ cherry thrill masterlist - @hellishjoel

Pairing: tattoo artist daddy dom!joel miller x virgin sub f!reader

series summary: Trust and devotion. Ink meets innocence. Your tattoo artist, Joel Miller, shows you what it really means to give up control. Reeling from the loss of your job, you’re running out of options, until a passing comment from Joel and a video camera give you just the right idea.

Reed Richards

ᯓ★That Shit wont end well - @sanarsi

Pairing: reed richards x f reader

Summary: An affair with the most famous inventor of your time? What could possibly go wrong?

#fic rec list #joel miller #javier peña #frankie morales #marcus acacius #dave york #reed richards

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makethemhoesmad · 3 months ago

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liability(pt. 3)

pt 1. pt 2

only a couple months late, but here it is!!

i’m thinking there will be one more part, hopefully coming sooner

thanks to @imaginespazzi, @azzibuckets, @patscorner, and @barbspeaks for dealing with my copious amounts of yap

—

“it’s for the better,” paige says, for the third time. the first two times, she’d whispered it to herself, trying to make herself believe that it was true. now, she said it to nika, who had witnessed azzi’s erratic flight to and from paige’s place, and wanted to know what had happened.

“thats what she said? verbatim?” nika questions. that’s not the azzi she knows. the azzi she knows is the one that would fight, tooth and nail, to keep her and paige together. that, even if they were separated for years, decades, lifetimes, she would be determined to find her way back.

“yes, nika i told you it was crazy. i announce that im staying another year to play with the people i love and.. oh.” paige breathes out the last word, tucking her head into her hands as she realizes something.

“what, paige? why’d you say oh?” nika inquires.

“she thinks i should have left,” paige murmures, standing up. she begins to pace the room, speaking quickly to what seemed to be only herself, forgetting nika was even there.

“she must think that i’m wasting my career by staying here, she must think that it’s her fault and that she’s the one ‘ruining my career’ in her mind. typical azzi. she’s on a spiral right now, she’ll come down, probably. probably.” the last statement seems to bring paige back to reality, and tears start to well up in her eyes. she looks to nika, sniffling and asking, “how am i supposed to make her see that she’s not, and never will be a liability.

in another room on the same campus, yet somehow seeming miles away, azzi is alone in her room, curled up under her blanket that still smells like paige, in paige’s hoodie and paige’s sweatpants. she’s giving herself only tonight to grieve for what she killed, and then she’s going to try and move on. that’s what she keeps telling herself, to justify the way she’s sobbed on and off all night. she’s about to start another round when she hears a loud knocking on her door. grudgingly, she sits up and trudges out of her room, opening up the door.

“paige, what are you doing here?” azzi gasps, even though she knows full well why exactly paige has just knocked on her door a mere five hours after their breakup.

“az, we’re still teammates. we have practice in two hours i don’t want you to ever think that you’re holding me back. i’m doing this because i love you, but also because im doing this for me.” paige says, her eyes glistening. azzi wants to take her back, right there. but she shouldn’t, she can’t. so instead, she says something she’s sure to regret.

“you know, paige, if you had just stayed healthy, this wouldn’t have been a problem.”

paige recoiled at azzi’s words, shocked at the harshness in her voice and the statements she made. in a moment of what she will eventually remember to be nothing but complete stupidity, she fires back.

“damn, i mean, if you hadn’t insisted on continuing to play after you fucked up your knee, you might’ve been able to figure it out instead of hurting it worse.”

“don’t do that, paige.” azzi says, her face going scarlet. “you do this when you get mad, hurt people’s feelings and don’t mean it.”

“i could say the same about you, azzi. we’ve played almost zero games together, and that’s the reason i wanted you here in the first place. it’s almost like i want to play basketball with my girlfriend, you know?”

“ex girlfriend,” azzi corrects quickly. she slams her teeth together, trying to trap the words back into her throat. why did she need to correct her so quickly?

“so that’s what we’re playing at, then? we’re playing pretend? we’re gonna sit here and we’re gonna act like we haven’t lived in each other’s skins for five years? our families are best friends, azzi. we can’t lose all that because you got insecure”

and azzi doesn’t know how to answer that. she doesn’t have a rebuttal, doesn’t have a defense or a witness. it’s just her, her thoughts, and her now seemingly unexplainable reasoning to break up with paige. right now, really all she wants to do is fall into paige’s arms and cry until she feels better, because paige always makes it better. something tells her that paige might not want to hold her, right now, though. so instead, she takes a deep breath, firmly points towards her door, and demands, “out.”

ironically, if azzi had in fact just thrust herself it paige’s arms, they’d probably be reunited right now. but instead, paige is standing outside azzis apartment door, debating whether to speed home and put on her gym clothes and wait for azzi to leave for practice outside her door, or corner her after practice. corner her, paige thought, speed walking to her car and grinning.

#paige bueckers #mutuals💀#azzi fudd #uconn wbb #paige bueckers x azzi fudd #pazzi #pat🪦#cessa😗💗🤞🩷#sister wifey #barb🔥#liability

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gffa · 1 year ago

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All right, so maybe I went haring off to another fandom for awhile, but I will never fully let go of my STAR WARS fic reading roots because there's just so much incredible fic here and I have such intense feelings about these characters, like how can I possibly truly leave when this fandom knows how to scratch my id just right or make me cry over fictional characters or hyena laugh because you people are very funny? There's just so much fic that is so good that of course I keep coming back! Especially when it comes to Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, there are just so many incredible people making incredible fics for them that feed right back into my love for their twisty, turny, complicated, beautiful, awful relationship. So here's a bunch of Obikin fic because the fandom is amazing and you should go love them as much as I love them, since you can hopefully completely sate yourself on a bunch of fantastic fic to read! Or idk send yourself into a grief coma because sometimes fic writers are almost as mean as canon was, but in the best way, the way that really hits you in the feelings place. Or idk idk just gorge on all the porn because DANG Obikin fandom brings the porn! WHAT KIND OF FIC YOU’LL FIND HERE:

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS

FICS THAT PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE WITH HOW GOOD THEY WERE: ✦ Neutron star collision by thedunesea, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, 121k wip In the aftermath of Order 66, Anakin Skywalker's miraculous survival after his confrontation with the new Sith Apprentice Darth Vader ignites a sparkle of hope in the remaining Jedi, in the fledgling rebellion and, above all, in his former Master, who thought he had lost everything to darkness. But darkness is generous, and it is patient. ✦ Together in Slumber by ibex_ascendant, obi-wan/anakin, 2.4k wip Several months after his last confrontation with Darth Vader, Obi-Wan finds himself trapped in a vivid and mysterious mindscape. And he isn't there alone. ✦ Satellite Mind by intermundia, septemberist, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 19.3k Some doors, once opened, can never be closed, and some secrets, once learned, can never be forgotten. or, Five times Obi-Wan heard Anakin’s thoughts, and one time Anakin heard Obi-Wan’s. ✦ Slow Learner by Is0lde, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 12.6k Four times Anakin tried to fit Obi-Wan's big dick inside him and one time he managed it. or; the evolution of their sexual relationship. ✦ Redolent of you by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dom/sub, 31.3k wip This act of espionage is going to require some class A play at antiquated alpha and omega dynamics, only problem is Anakin has never submitted in his life and it's certainly not within his nature,or so Obi-Wan thinks. ✦ Heal Me, My Darling by wasureneba, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 12.4k Anakin gets sick. Obi-Wan takes care of him. For two weeks. Alone. This would be easier if Anakin wasn't quite so gone for Obi-Wan. Or if this didn't involve a daily stab in the shebs. ✦ For He, too, is King by MayMeows, obi-wan/anakin & padme, NSFW, historical au, 7.7k “I am here to present myself to the man who now calls himself King of my people.” Obi-Wan would be impressed as Anakin’s title as God-King, born from the divine himself, often struck people with awe, terrifying or glorifying, but Queen Amidala’s voice is as strong as her shoulders are squared. ✦ How to Save a Galactic Republic Without Really Trying by Sharp_Tongue, obi-wan/anakin & mace & yoda & quinlan & palpatine, nsfw, time travel, 23.9k After defeating Vader on a barren, nameless moon, Obi-Wan had let go of the past. But the past hadn’t let go of him. ✦ (feel like i die) ‘til i feel your touch by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & yoda & mace & ahsoka, 15.5k OR; Obi-Wan gets himself cursed and makes it everyone’s, but mainly Anakin’s, problem.

CANON-COMPLIANT (-ISH, WHATEVER) AT LEAST UP UNTIL THE GALAXY GOES PEAR-SHAPED AND/OR DIVERGES: ✦ Yellow Surprise by ToolMusicLover, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 11.1k When Anakin is distant with him during a simple negotiation mission Obi-Wan jumps to the wrong conclusion, luckily for him Anakin isn't willing to let him go so easily. ✦ A Good Epithet by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 8.2k Obi-Wan should have been happy. He had fulfilled Qui-Gon’s final wish. He had trained Anakin, he had spent ten years teaching the boy and watching him grow, he had cared for him and scolded him and coddled him by turns. He had, for better or worse, been Anakin Skywalker’s Master. ✦ hold on to this lullaby by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin & rex, 1k “Anakin,” Kenobi says with a hint of a reprimand in his voice. “Why aren’t you sleeping?” Skywalker staggers further into the room, and a faint blush spreads across his cheeks. He rolls his eyes but it doesn’t do anything to mitigate the color high on his face and the effect it has on his features: a pleased expression flashing clear as ion fire. Having made his way to one of the chairs, he drops down onto it with the elegance of a Hutt. ✦ Any Other World by mysticmjolnir, obi-wan/anakin & vader & leia & reva, NSFW, dimension hopping, 24.2k wip Anakin has been looking for his Master for a very long time. Finally, on Mapuzo, he finds him. ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving. ✦ spirit meets the bone by treescape, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, time travel, dom/sub, 2k Or, the Force keeps sending Anakin forward in time from the Clone Wars. ✦ Azúcar, Sudor by Delzi, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, spanking/discipline, 18.6k wip Anakin can't stand Obi-Wan's new disciplinary tactic, but he absolutely loves it. ✦ Too Hot by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k Too Hot: A game where two players kiss without stopping and without touching each other. If one player touches the other, that player loses. The winner gets to do whatever they want to the loser. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.3k Anakin’s eyes snapped open. Oh no. Oh no. Anakin slumped back into the bed, staring down at himself in horror. Anakin Skywalker had just had a wet dream about Obi-Wan Kenobi. [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ sea to a desert by maragny, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, 3.1k An interlude and an aftermath; or: how to love someone you seem to have spent half your life loving.

FUCK THE NOISE OUT OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER’S HEAD: ✦ Strings Pulled Taut by preromantics, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 4.8k (AKA Anakin gets a bunch of gunk in his hair, Obi-Wan has been hyper-fixated, and it all bursts like a bubble.) ✦ dark red by wesnenski, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.9k He feels Obi-Wan before he sees him: a ripple in the Force, a glow of warmth in the darkness. When he appears from the shadows like a bleary-eyed spectre, Anakin can only look up at him, nostrils flared, lip quivering. Here is his Master, tired and gaunt but solid and present and real. ✦ Take Care of Yourself, I Wish I Could by Kefalion, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 7k While Obi-Wan and Anakin are alone on a planet during a mission, Anakin goes into a presentation heat. One Obi-Wan will not help him through no matter how much they'd both want it. Not that they know that want is mutual. ✦ Fever by dirkygoodness, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, cat boy!anakin, 3.5k Obi-Wan wakes up to a cuddly (Ny)Anakin and is met with something he isn't expecting. He's going to have to deal with it though. And enjoy himself as he does. ✦ sink into the dunes by stardies, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 9k [A collection of small Obikin drabbles. Each chapter will have its own one shot.] 01. sfw, anakin’s separation anxiety. 02. first time nsfw. 03. obikin zine piece, sith!obi-wan, jedi!anakin, handjobs. ✦ a necessary respite by Anonymous, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.6k to be fair, all of this is obiwan’s fault. even though his master is calmly sorting through reports the faint buzz of arousal in the back of both of their heads is majorly coming from him, anakin just can’t help but react to it. ✦ the lean and hungry type by tideswept, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 4.5k And so is Anakin, really, for being excited about this rather than angry. He wets his lower lip, striving to cohere his thoughts into something that isn’t appallingly horny, when Master speaks. “I’m not in rut,” he says quietly. “I wouldn’t spring that on you.” “I mean,” Anakin pauses. “You could.” ✦ when people show you who they are, believe them by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, spanking, dom/sub, 3k Anakin has a meeting with the Chancellor. Obi-Wan convinces him to take a slow morning instead. ✦ needs must by silianrail, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, dual sex!anakin, 1.7k Anakin must be the neediest omega in the entire temple, if not on the entire planet. But if Anakin is needy, what does that make Obi-Wan, who, after all, bends to so many of his padawan’s desires? ✦ Use Me by kittimau, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.5k Anakin knows what Obi-Wan needs, even if he won't say it.

✦ Insatiable by TheSopherfly, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 1.8k Obi-Wan meets Anakin’s eyes with a rueful smile. “You wanted it fast, yes?” “Yes.” Even without their responsibilities looming, Anakin would’ve wanted it like this; quick and dirty, like they just can’t help themselves. “Yeah. Fast is perfect.” “Good,” Obi-Wan says, punctuating the word with a single thrust. “Because I don’t think I’ll last long.” Or; With the twins still asleep, Anakin and Obi-Wan steal some time for themselves. ✦ Hazy Shade of Winter by Lemon (lemon_sprinkles), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 2.7k Obi-Wan runs hot; Anakin most definitely does not. Thankfully Obi-Wan is there to warm Anakin up when things get unusually cold in the Jedi Temple. ✦ The Love You Want by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, potential dub con-esque (read the tags), 6.8k They've returned to their rooms after sparring, flushed and laughing and close enough that the very air feels heated between them. Once the door has closed, Obi-Wan turns to Anakin, smiling, takes Anakin's jaw in the cup of his hand and kisses him like the first blush of spring. "You'll be good for me, won't you?" he murmurs, and Anakin does nothing more than dreamily nod because he knows just what to do when he's slipped under like this. Knows his job is to be obedient and pliant and good. ✦ Handle Me With Care by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k Obi Wan wants Anakin but he knows he shouldn't. He also knows that there is no way he could ever act on it - or so he thought. ✦ tear me apart by RexIsMyCopilot, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, 2.4k Obi-Wan uses Anakin in the Council Chamber ✦ A Lesson in Listening by GayCheerios, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, dom/sub, toys, 4.4k “Anakin,” Obi-Wan says simply. Anakin feels chills run down his spine. That tone means everything except simplicity. “Bedroom.” His husband commands. ✦ Keeping Company by Gwendolyn (storiesofchaos), obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 11.1k "So, will you? Will you help me through my heat? Please, I want you to fuck me, Master, I need it." Anakin doesn't care that he's begging already, but he's getting even wetter between his legs and he can't help it. Obi-Wan doesn't seem to mind anyway, because he groans and drags his fingers up into Anakin's hair and tugs slightly, making Anakin gasp. "Force, yes, I'll give you what you need, Anakin." ✦ king unmaker by unbitten, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, transmasc!anakin, royalty au, 4.4k How to get your King to stop playing hooky from his appointments to make trips to the brothel? Scold him. Stare disapprovingly. Fuck him yourself.

DARTH ASSHOLE CAT SHOULD BE GRABBED BY THE SCRUFF OF THE NECK AND SCOLDED BACK TO THE LIGHT: ✦ Reunion by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/darth vader, ~1k Some sweetness to help with the absolute agony of Obi-Wan lol ✦ The Jedi Child by RowenaNie, obi-wan/darth vader & luke & leia & cast, NSFW, pregnant!anakin, 48.1k “The emperor has put my replacement inside of me,” Vader said. ✦ Hand in Unlovable Hand by Rachello344, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.8k Post Kenobi Part VI: Instead of leaving Vader for dead, Obi-Wan finds himself unable to abandon his dear friend again and so takes him with him. How can Obi-Wan Kenobi live without the other half of himself? Whatever it takes, he will drag Anakin back to himself, kicking and screaming. ✦ dreamscape melodies by egeria, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, 2.9k "The layers you Jedi wear are ridiculous," Vader grumbled. Obi-Wan let out a huff. "We're in a dream, are we not? Can we not just will our clothes off?" -- or: Vader is in heat and Obi-Wan is in his dream. It's still complicated. ✦ to restrain the darkness by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, NSFW, some dom/sub, 2k Or, Vader wants Obi-Wan to tie him up. ✦ dreams of old by treescape, obi-wan/darth vader, nsfw, 4.1k wip Obi-Wan surrenders to Vader on Jabiim in exchange for everyone else's freedom.

FUCK YOU, CANON, THINGS GO A LITTLE NICER IN THIS UNIVERSE: ✦ afterimages by shatou, obi-wan/anakin, 1.3k Mustafar is nothing but a bad dream. ✦ Sticky by Delziae, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & rex & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 25.9k [Or: In which Anakin is too horny to handle and Obi-wan has a bit less control than he originally thought.] ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & cast, NSFW, omegaverse, 5.3k After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying. ✦ dream a little dream of me by answersinahauntedclub, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & padme, 10.3k [or—you think you have problems? try having wet dreams of your friend-slash-former-master and then trying to figure out what that’s supposed to mean.] ✦ Stargazing by thegingerwrites, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 21k Anakin and Obi-Wan have become too well-known on the Holonet to take on undercover assignments anymore. But desperate times call for desperate measures and the Council asks them to make contact with a Separatist defector at a gala hosted on Mandalore. At least the event is a masquerade. ✦ praise you by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 17.9k An act of insubordination, a crash landing and a trek through the forests of an uncharted planet bring Anakin and Obi-Wan to a very hospitable village. Sure they think Anakin is a god, but really, what's wrong with wanting to be appreciated? ✦ terribly inconvenient and incredibly terrific by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, omegaverse, 24.8k Obi-Wan has the sheer nerve to imply that Anakin is ill-suited for a mission he himself is going on, which means that Anakin will stop at nothing to prove his old master wrong. After all, Anakin can do anything Obi-Wan can do, thank you very much. Even if maybe, just this one time, Obi-Wan is right. This mission relies on the one area of Anakin's life he's never spent much time or effort thinking about: his omega designation and Obi-Wan's alpha one. But there's no way that Anakin is going to back down now. What will Obi-Wan do? Go to the planet with another, non-Anakin omega? Don't make him laugh. He's Obi-Wan's partner. And Obi-Wan is his alpha. Alpha master. Same thing. ✦ and when you look at me, the weight of how i feel is heavy on me by brahe, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & mace & depa & qui-gon & rex & cast, 37.9k “Jus’ like a sun,” Anakin murmurs, and Obi-Wan has to strain to hear it, almost misses it. He stills. “Beautiful shining sun,” Anakin continues, and presses his face further into the pool of robes. His voice is slow and sleepy, and Obi-Wan realizes he can tell Anakin is about to drop off into sleep. He blinks, lifting his head to stare down at him in something between awe and shock. That seems to be the standard operating procedure when it comes to Anakin, he thinks, a little wry, a little wondrous.

WORLD IS HARD AND COLD, OBIKIN FLUFF IS SOFT AND WARM: ✦ a vacationer's guide to being unexpectedly married by treescape, obi-wan/anakin & cast, 7.8k “A vacation, you need,” Master Yoda had insisted firmly beneath their incredulous stares when they’d first received their instructions. “On a beach, perhaps, hmmm?” ✦ The Lonely Mollusk by temple_mistress, obi-wan/anakin & luke & leia, nsfw, 2k Obi-Wan was incredibly horny, Anakin was, Force-bless him, more than ready to oblige, and the children were miraculously still sleeping. ✦ looking for trouble by orphan_account, obi-wan/anakin (mentioned obi-wan/anakin/padme), spanking, 1.7k Anakin gets in a fight. Obi-Wan cleans him up and spanks him.

MODERN AUS CAN BE FUN AND CHARMING AS HELL AND A GREAT CHANCE TO MAP CANON DYNAMICS ONTO A WORLD WHERE THEY CAN HAVE A HAPPIER LIFE, IT’S A WIN ALL THE WAY AROUND: ✦ (I just) died in your arms tonight by Himboskywalker, obi-wan/anakin & padme & cast, modern au, 2.5k wip Where Obi-Wan is still a master of politics and Anakin still fixes spaceships and they’re still irrevocably obsessed with one another. ✦ Win Condition by passeridae, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, F1 au, 4.3k Anakin has just won his first race of his F1 career and Obi-Wan, his longtime trainer and partner, knows just what his boy should get as a reward. (His dick. The reward is his dick.) ✦ Hooked on You by whohatessand, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, 5.2k With his wife's approaching senatorial election, Anakin Skywalker tries desperately to be the perfect husband she needs. Little does Padmé know, her husband has been sleeping with her campaign manager, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for quite a while now. ✦ we’re swimming with the sharks (until we drown) by decideophobia, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, fake married, 5.8k wip He looks up and meets Anakin’s eyes. A thoughtful expression passes over his face. “Married people are paid significantly more,” he says then, slowly, looking at Anakin like he’s trying to solve a riddle. Anakin stares, dumbstruck. “Huh.” ✦ Would You Like Cream With That? by ranianke, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, professor obi-wan, 2.1k Obi-Wan was a good teacher. His students learned the content, he got flattering reviews (even when you ignored the chili pepper Rate My Professors reviews that he could not seem to get taken down), and he generally liked teaching. Good professors did not sleep with their students. ✦ Pride & Preparation by secretsolarsystem, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, school au, 5.6k “You’re beautiful,” Anakin praised, making Obi-Wan blush. “And nervous.” Obi-Wan scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Of course I’m nervous.” “You shouldn’t be,” Anakin said easily, pressing a kiss to Obi-Wan’s lips. “I love you, and this is going to be really fun.” ✦ swear each night to let him go by vorpalstars, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka, NSFW, modern au, professor!obi-wan, 10.3k wip Anakin develops an unfortunate amount of lust for his literature teacher ✦ Seven Minutes in Anakin by Saratutti, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, modern au, dom/sub, 1.9k Fully enamored doesn't even begin to describe Anakin’s captivation with the gorgeous professor he has stumbled into dating this Christmas season. ✦ The Melody Wakes the Heart by edgeofn1ght, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 3.5k However, it's practically love at first sight when Obi-Wan passes a new busker working the alley he passes through every day going to and from work. ✦ Pick-up Games by SingManyFaces, obi-wan/anakin, modern au, 1.1k Ben’s quiet afternoon is ruined by a basketball player who needs some medical attention. He doesn’t mind too much. ✦ Prompted - Chapter 22: Brakebills by intermundia, obi-wan/anakin, NSFW, 10.2k Anakin Skywalker was not a typical student of Brakebills University for Magical Pedagogy.

WHAT DID CANON EVER DO BUT BREAK OUR HEARTS ANYWAY? TIME TO TELL CANON TO FUCK OFF AND WRITE AN AU: ✦ death by any other name by loosingletters, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, vampire au, 11.5k While on a mission during his years as a Padawan, Obi-Wan escapes the tight hold of death transformed into something not quite human. In the years following, he isn’t always so lucky. ✦ Till Human Voices Wake Us by RagnarLothcat, obi-wan/anakin, mer!anakin, 2.7k It’s late summer when Obi-Wan first notices a flash of gold between the waves. ✦ Goodbye by Ripki, obi-wan/anakin & qui-gon, nsfw, 1.2k Anakin has no wish to leave Obi-Wan, not when they have just been reunited. Luckily for him, Obi-Wan is good at making their goodbye very memorable. ✦ tender like a bruise by stardies, obi-wan/anakin & cast, omegaverse, 6.8k wip In a stroke of desperation, Obi-wan mates Anakin Skywalker by force on the fiery planet of Mustafar to stop his Fall and save his life. Taken back to Coruscant and imprisoned, Anakin feels the senate's pressure for justice, and Obi-wan, his mate and former mentor is determined to give him another chance. ✦ canaries underground by TheGoodDoctor, obi-wan/padme & references to anakin/padme & obi-wan/anakin & obi-wan/anakin/padme, NSFW, padme lives, 10k There are good days, and bad days. This is a good one. ✦ use my body to break your fall by tennessoui, obi-wan/anakin & padme & ahsoka & mace & yoda & palpatine & cast, NSFW, Not a Jedi!Anakin, Sith!Obi-Wan, 63.5k Obi-Wan Kenobi is too good at being a Sith Lord general of the Separatist army. The Jedi Council approaches Anakin with an offer he can't refuse. These things are, actually, related.

TIME TO CRY ABOUT SOME FICTIONAL CHARACTERS: ✦ you can't just leave me by amadwinter, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, 1.6k Anakin swears he’s above his Omega instincts, but when he’s sparring with his Alpha master one day, some wires get crossed that leave him unable to distinguish friend from foe. A primal fear consumes him, and no amount of Jedi training will shake the feeling he needs to escape. He needs to protect himself from the dangerous Alpha circling around him, searching for any sign of weakness. When backed into a corner, an Omega’s last line of defense is their bite. After all, an Alpha would never hurt their mate… ✦ A Little Early, A Little Late by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 7.4k Anakin finds out he's pregnant. The problem is that his mating ceremony isn't for another four months. ✦ Sweet Surprise by greeneyes_blondequiffs, obi-wan/anakin, nsfw, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 12.3k Obi Wan and Anakin are forced to land on an unfamiliar planet. Anakin is perplexed by everyone's obvious interest in him, unsure what could be causing it. That is, until he receives some unexpected news. The problem is, Anakin's not quite sure he believes it. The other problem is what Obi Wan might think when he finds out. ✦ That Never Wrote To Me by Artemis_Unbound, obi-wan/anakin & ahsoka & vokara, NSFW, omegaverse, pregnant!anakin, 5.3k After the Rako Hardeen mission, everyone Obi-Wan loves has turned away from him. It’s been months since he’s even seen Anakin, but their bond had been closed off for years. Knowing that Anakin would never want him the way Obi-Wan wanted Anakin had been painful enough, but at least he still had their friendship. And now even that’s gone, and the cold has settled into his bones. Acute Isolation Syndrome is so rare that Obi-Wan doesn’t recognize the symptoms. Doesn’t even realize that he’s dying.

#lumi.txt #star wars #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #obikin #obianidala #fic recs #star wars fic recs

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lucy90712 · 8 days ago

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hello so I don't know if you're still taking kenan yildiz requests or requests at all but could you write something like enemies to lovers.

So kenan and reader are in the same friend group but they're complete opposites, kenan is extroverted and reader is introverted. So she kinda keeps her distance and she's away from him, this makes kenan think she doesn't like him so he just randomly starts being mean to her whenever they're together, to the point where she gets teary-eyed and tries to get away from him. And then he starts feeling guilty and tries to comfort here and they confess to one another. Anyways they actually like each other after the ice breaker and start dating.

"Girl you look so good come on we've got to go" my best friend Alice said

"I feel like I look too different they're all going to mock me" I said

"No one's going to mock you we're all friends plus you look amazing so even if they say something it's just because they're jealous of how stunning you look" she said dragging me out the apartment

If I was worried about what the other girls thought her saying that would've been helpful but that's not what's on my mind. In fact I'm not worried about the group as a whole I'm worried about what Kenan will say. I've known Kenan for years as we have mutual friends which have now formed into one big friend group. He's the popular extrovert of the friend group the famous footballer he's the complete opposite of me I've never been one that likes to have loads of friends and talk to strangers on a whim. To begin with we got on just fine and by that I mean we didn't really talk but that was fine with me as we just wouldn't have anything in common but recently Kenan has started talking to me and by talking I mean mocking me. I don't know what I've done to him to make him act like that but it's made me not want to hang out with the whole group as I don't want to see him.

Some of the things Kenan says really hurt he makes fun of the way I dress, the way I struggle to talk in front of everyone, the way I act and pretty much everything else about me. Everyone else seems to find it funny as they always laugh at what he says but they hurt to hear. I try and make it seem like it doesn't bother me but every time I come home after seeing everyone I always just sit in my bed and cry. It's pathetic really I should just find a new group of friends who don't enjoy listening to someone make fun of me but I don't know how to make friends and I don't want to be all alone I'm not one to have loads of friends but I need to have a few or else I’ll go crazy.

Tonight might be different though it's supposed to be a birthday party for one of the other girls Sofia so none of the focus should be on me. There should also be some other people there too like Sofia's friends from class so I should be able to just hide out in a corner and go unnoticed most of the night. As long as I avoid Kenan I'll be fine and Alice has promised to help keep me away from him so I can enjoy my night too but sometimes he just pops up out of nowhere but hopefully that won't happen tonight.

There are times that I can't believe I used to like Kenan. When I first met him after one of the guys brought him along to a hang out I thought he was so hot. I'd never been so attracted to a guy before mainly because I'd never talked to many different guys but Kenan instantly caught my eye. For months I admired him without really talking to him until my birthday when he wished me happy birthday even though I didn't think he even knew my birthday. After that I only liked him more but I knew that he'd never fall for someone like me he's very much an extrovert loves talking to people and I'm the complete opposite not to mention that he could literally have any girl he wanted. As I knew I'd never be able to be with Kenan I decided to keep my distance from him as then I couldn't embarrass myself that way and I could try and get over my feelings. My feelings lasted for a long time in fact they only really went away when Kenan started being so awful to me as it showed me he wasn't the person I thought he was.

As I don't really drink I volunteered to drive to Kenan's house where the party is taking place as he has the biggest place in fact he's the only one who has a house the rest of us live at home or in small little apartments. There was nowhere to park so I let Alice get out while I drove around again and eventually I found a spot so I could make my own way inside. I had every opportunity to just leave right then but I forced myself to go in as I have to be there for my other friends. When I opened the door a few people looked over then I caught Kenan's eye which I was hoping he would just let slide but no I can't ever be that lucky.

"Ooh look someone's got dressed up for tonight can’t be trying to impress a guy because that'll never happen" Kenan said loud enough for everyone to hear

"Thats a good one man" one of the other guys said while laughing

"I bet she's never even been on a date with a guy" Kenan added knowing I was still in earshot

It hurt because he's right I've never been on a date because I can never get myself to talk to a guy let alone find one that likes me enough to want to go on a date with me. I tried not to let the pain show I just found a quiet corner to spend the rest of the party sat in. A quiet corner is exactly where I want to be all on my own to just sit and not talk to another soul it's not like any of them really care about me anyway. On my own no one can laugh at me and no one can call me a loner if no one notices me and I don't acknowledge them it makes life easier it makes nights like tonight easier.

I found my quiet corner and stayed there on my own for ages until Alice found me and dragged me into the group of people so I could socialise but the extent of my socialising was wishing Sofia a happy birthday. Then I just looked at the floor as Kenan was stood across the room from me and I could feel his eyes on me and I didn't want to accidentally make eye contact with him I just can't take anymore mocking tonight.

"Why do we still invite her to these things all she does is stand alone and say nothing a ghost would be better company" Kenan laughed

"She balances the rest of us out we all talk a lot and she doesn't creates a balance" one of the others said

That was it it was too much a person can only take so much and this was my limit. The tears started to fall and I just ran off probably making me look more crazy than they already thought I was. I didn't know where I was going I just had to get out of there but as I tried to open the gate someone put their hand on their arm to stop me. I looked at the hand and it definitely wasn't Alice which told me that it wasn't someone I wanted to talk to.

"Let me go I need to go" I said

"No I need to apologise" the voice I quickly recognised as Kenan's said

"Sorry but you're the last person I want to talk to" I said

"Please give me a chance to say sorry I really never meant to hurt you" he said

"But you did and you have been for months every time I see you you say something hurtful and you don't think it bothers me but it does it hurts I know I don't fit in with the rest of you I don't need someone telling me every time I see you" I said turning around to face him

"I do know that" he said

"That makes it worse you knew you were hurting me and still did it" I said

"I had a reason its stupid but I had a reason" Kenan said

"Then tell me the reason you've made my life hell for months" I shouted for probably the first time ever

"I like you and I have done for months I know it sounds stupid but I have feelings for you but you've always been so distant that I knew I could never have you so I thought if I said those things to hurt you then I would stop liking you or maybe you'd leave and I wouldn't have to see you across the room and admire you from a distance" Kenan admitted

"You know I had feelings for you too until you started this little game of yours I kept my distance because I don't know how to talk to guys I've never flirted with a guy let alone been on a date and your a famous footballer in my head we'd never have worked you need someone who is more outgoing and someone who looks like a model or is a model I'm not who you want Kenan" I said

"But that's the thing you are I've been with the outgoing model type and sure they're fun but they're really superficial there's nothing more under the surface whereas with you I know you actually have a personality I know everyone in there would tell me I'm crazy but I can just see that under the surface you're a really interesting person a person I want to get to know" he said

"Wait you actually want to be with me?" I asked

"Of course and I know I've messed up but if you can forgive me for making your life awful than I'd love to take you on a date" he said

"As long as you promise not to mock me in front of everyone anymore I think I'd like to go on a date with you" I said

"I will make it the best date ever I promise you" he said

He put his hands on my face and wiped my tears before leaning down and pressing his lips to mine. The kiss was magical I felt like electricity was flowing through my body and the whole world around me felt empty. It was just me and Kenan in that moment and that made it perfect. I never wanted the kiss to end but of course it had to so we both pulled away and Kenan walked me back to my car so I could go home but before I left he put my number in his phone and promised to text me with details of our date which I'm very much looking forward to.

#kenan yildiz x reader #kenan yildiz imagine #kenan yildiz #football imagine

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yourstru1y4ever · 7 days ago

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June 21, 2018: No Guarantees

Pairing: (eventual) Satoru Gojo x F!Reader Content: canon-compliant, canonical character death, we got some fluff, some angst, slow burn, Reader is Yuji's Aunt, Gojo refers to Reader as Sweets Word Count: 4.2k Thicker Than Water Masterlist

A/N: ah finally, the first chapter. . . it's not perfect but I wanted to finally post it after it's been sitting in my drafts for the last few months. Be sure to like, reblog and comment! Hopefully I'll be posting the next chapter in a week~

“I’m going to be late again! Shit, I really am dead this time.”

Words are powerful within Jujutsu society. Sorcerers with cursed speech can use their words to curse others easily, but everyone can forget that curses can be born from human emotion.

“Can’t you see I’m doing this to protect you?”

Humans know that their words can hurt others, be used to stab others in the back, double down on a lie. But those non-sorcerers will never understand how their words can manifest, and fester into something that they could never imagine.

“Not even death will stop my love for you.”

It’s important for Jujutsu sorcerers to remember that their words also can be just as powerful as anyone else's words.

“Focus! Don’t miss the shot!!”

It’s something you have to remind yourself constantly because your family is cursed enough as it is.

. . . “You’re a strong kid, so try to help others.”

The sun brightens up the small hospital room, spreading its warmth. He hates when it gets like this. His eyes crack open slightly and immediately glares at the woman who opened the blinds. Once the blinds are fully open you turn and look at him, a teasing smile on your face.

“Hey old man! Glad to see you’re still kicking.”

He grumbles, “Shouldn’t you be at that school in Tokyo?”

You hum, contemplating. Walking over to the sink in his small room you grab a glass of water.

“I should be, however my students and I are about to go on a mission.” You hand the water to him, he takes it begrudgingly.

“Is that what you call your little wilderness retreats?” He says after having a small sip of water.

“You know they’re more than just 'wilderness retreats' old man.” He looks up at you as you straighten your posture.

He scoffs, “They’re dangerous, that's what they are! And don’t call me old man, you really should respect your elders.”

You shake your head at him, rolling your eyes. Still as stubborn as ever, you think.

“Either way, old man, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be gone for the next few weeks or so.” You walk around the space, tidying up the room from the last time you visited. “I’m monitoring my students so that they can grow as sorcerers.”

He coughs and you stop. He waves his hand, dismissing your concern and takes another drink of water, “I don’t care about what you do with your life-”

“Just don’t involve Yuji into jujutsu, I know Wasuke.” You walk over to the window and grab the flowers out of the vase that Yuji brought over from the other day. Wasuke opens his eyes a bit more now and notices the small frown on your face.

“It’s for his safety,” He grumbles, setting his water down.

“I know,” you look down at the wilted flowers, picking at some of the darkened petals. Ever since Yuji was born it was agreed upon by Wasuke and your sister that you and her would not use your cursed techniques around him.

While Jin and Wasuke were somewhat aware of curses, they couldn’t see them let alone fight them. They only had an awareness of cursed energy, having an unsettling feeling creep up their spine, a feeling of death, the urge to run to save your own life while you still could.

As you’ve gotten older and had joint custody of Yuji, that agreement your sister made with Wasuke extended to you. You only agreed to his terms when you realized that Yuji couldn’t see curses or wield cursed energy.

Since the day you held Yuji in your arms as a child you swore to protect him no matter what and despite only being 16 when you gained custody of him you did what you thought was right.

You sigh, “Aren’t your nurses supposed to check in with you?” You look at the clock in the room, “Like now-ish?”

Wasuke hummed, “They’re probably just yapping to each other about useless things.”

“Yapping?” You snicker.

He bristles, “That’s what those nurses do!” He crosses his arms and you can barely contain a laugh from how grumpy he looks. He gives you a sharp glare and you start chuckling, “Such a grouch as always. Never change.”

A quiet knock brings your attention to the nurse standing in the doorway, covering one end of the phone.

“Excuse me, Mr. Itadori, you have a call.” The nurse steps inside the room as you wave at her while smiling.

She smiles back before returning her attention to Wasuke getting closer to his bed, “It’s your grandson again, asking if you want him to bring-”

He starts yelling at the nurse, “Leave me alone! Tell him not to come here! He should go to his club!!” He attempts to snatch the phone out of her hands, “Go to his club!!”

“Damn old man! Always asking for respect and yet not even respecting those who take care of you,” You run to help the nurse deal with Wasuke but she just hands you the phone.

“I’ve got this, don’t worry,” She winks at you. You shake your head and bring the phone up to your ear.

“Yuji?”

“Oh hi Auntie!” You can sense his smile coming from his voice.

“Shouldn’t you be getting ready for school, young man?” You jokingly ask.

“I am! I am! I’m just doing my usual call with Grandpa. Speaking of which you rarely visit him, what’s the occasion?”

“I’m going on a school trip with my students for a few weeks. I just wanted to give him a heads up,” Wasuke was finally relaxed enough for the nurse to start taking his vitals. “And I’m now giving you that same heads up.”

“Gotcha! I hope the trip goes well for you guys!”

“Thanks hon,” A small twinge of anxiety manifests in your chest as you notice a small frown on the nurse's face.

“And I know I say this all the time but make sure to call me immediately if anything happens. I’ll come over,” You snap your fingers, “like that.”

“Don’t worry Auntie! We’ll be fine.” You grimace at his assurance. Maybe you should talk to Yaga about moving the trip to next week. “I’ll make sure to keep my visits up with Grandpa.”

You try your best to not sound worried, “Alright Yuji, I’ll talk to you later. At this rate you will be late for your classes.”

“I know, I know! I’ll see ya later Auntie! Love ya-” And the line goes dead. As you bring the phone down from your ear the nurse walks up to you. You notice the grave look on her face and you try to not think too much about it.

“Miss, if I may, can we step outside and speak for a moment?”

You hand her back the phone. Shit. Maybe you will call Yaga.

“Of course, I need to head out anyway.” You give her a smile to try to relieve some of the tension. You glance over at Wasuke who has his eyes closed but his arms still crossed.

“Hey old man, I’m gonna head out now,” He gives you a squinted glare, “Don’t do anything stupid while I’m gone, like die. alright?”

The nurse steps out of the room waiting for you outside. He keeps your gaze, “Hmph, no guarantees.”

It was your turn to glare right back, your voice firm, “Wasuke.”

He turns to face towards the window. Your shoulders deflate and you try your best to brush off your anxiety. As you start to walk outside he calls out your name. You stop just outside the door frame.

“Take care of Yuji when I’m gone,” He mutters, still not looking at you.

Before you leave you look back at him and smile, “You know I always do.”

You step out of the room and you feel like you’re able to breathe again. It’ll be okay, you try to reassure yourself, he’s just being his usual grouchy, asshole self-

“His lung cancer is worsening.” The nurse spits out.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry miss-” The girl begins to ramble and none of her words reach your ears. Your eyes glaze over and you nod along to whatever she’s telling you at this point. At least his death won’t be from a curse, you thank whatever God granted this to happen. You focus on your breathing and try to pay attention to what the nurse is saying.

“-in a stable condition right now, but I’m not sure for how much longer.”

“Well if he uses his call button then you’ll know,” You try to joke, she doesn’t smile.

“We’ll give you a call if anything happens,” And you nod your head and you try to think of what to do next. Your movements out of the hospital are mechanical and don’t feel right. Your legs are moving on their own and the sinking feeling in your chest hasn’t left yet. With a blink of your eyes you go from outside the hospital to standing on a train platform waiting for the next train into Tokyo.

Come on focus, you reason with yourself. There’s no need to get worked up now when nothing has happened. Once the train arrives you walk on to the nearest car doors that open and miss the two individuals who get off a few cars ahead of you, but one of them looks over at you.

The small smile that graces his lips is unmistakable and the smile turns into a smirk. His student keeps walking away so he’s unable to call out to you with a snarky remark. He’ll have to save it once he recovers that cursed object the Elders keep hounding him about.

---------------

“You can’t be serious Sensei!”

“Bonito flakes!!”

“We don’t need you to chaperone us, we’ll just leave on our own!”

“Guys!!” You wave your arms and your three students settle down. . . barely.

Panda is the one to break the silence first, “Why are you canceling our mission? Aren’t those second grade curses still in Sakata?”

“Salmon” Inumaki nods in agreement.

“I’m not canceling your mission outright, it’s just-”

Maki speaks up, “We don’t need your supervision. We’ve gone on missions by ourselves before. Why do you need to come?”

“Due to the sightings of multiple second grade curses in one area I need to at least supervise.” You pinch the bridge of your nose. “While I know you all are used to working together, I suggested to Yaga that-”

“You suggested?!” Maki gawks, “You’re worse than Gojo sometimes.”

Your eyes widen and you go slack-jawed. She did not just-

“Tu-na!’

“Maki!”

“I’m just saying! We’re strong enough to take care of ourselves, don’t you guys agree?”

“I do, but Maki you can’t just say that about Sensei! She’s nothing like Gojo.”

“And thank God for that.” You mutter and Inumaki smiles.

“I just don’t see why she needs to watch us all of a sudden.”

“Is it a crime to see how my students are progressing? I want to see the improvement myself.” You cross your arms and straighten your stance trying to regain control.

Maki pushes the hilt of her naginata on the ground in frustration. A small puff of dust is swept up into the air.

“You can’t see it during our sparring practices?” Maki’s eyes meet yours in a fiery gaze, your eyes don’t leave hers. Damn her stare is intense!

“I can, but watching you fight a curse in real time is different than in practice. . . you all know that much.” Panda and Inumaki nod their heads in agreement, Maki looks away with disdain.

You place a hand on Maki’s shoulder and she looks up at your calm expression, “I want to make sure you’re implementing the techniques I’m teaching you in practice. If they aren’t working then we’ll try something different.”

“I had to go on three different missions with Hakari and Hoshi before I figured out what type of combat worked best for them. It’s important to not be reliant on one type of fighting, it becomes a weakness if you can’t defend yourself another way. That’s why I want to oversee your mission.”

Maki still doesn’t look pleased but with the way her eyes softened you can tell she accepted your answer.

“So how long are we waiting?” She asks.

“We’re leaving tomorrow rather than tonight,”

Panda smiles, “Oh that’s nothing! I thought we weren’t going on that mission for a few months.”

“Mustard leaf?”

“Oh it’s nothing really,” you lie but when you see the side eye that Inumaki, Panda, and Maki give you you sigh in defeat. It’s been a long enough day and you can already feel the headache coming on.

“Alright, if you must know, a family member of mine is about to pass and I want to make sure my nephew is in a good spot before we head off on the mission.”

A bird call breaks through the silence as you start to move away from the training grounds. The evening sun is slowly setting, giving reprieve from the heat of the day.

It was rare for you to mention your family to anyone at Jujutsu High, only Yaga knew about them and even then he barely knew anything. The three students look at each other trying to search for what to say next.

Panda quietly speaks up, “You have a nephew?”

“I do,” A smile creeps onto your face as you remember your call with him earlier.

“I guess he can’t see curses then?”

“As always, you are correct Maki. He’s just. . .” you stop walking and look up trying to find the right word, “. . .human.”

A harsh tone rings out disrupting the tranquil calm.

“Excuse me for a moment,” You hold your hand out to the three apologetically as you bring your phone up to your ear. You move away from your students walking out of their earshot but you can hear whispers of what they’re saying.

“Do you think-?” Panda starts.

“It’s possible.” Maki finishes, the three of them try their best to overhear what the conversation is.

You take a quick breath to calm your nerves as you answer the call, “Hello?”

“Hey you actually picked up for once!” You gotta be fucking kidding me-

“Gojo?” you ask exasperated.

“Did you miss me? Admit it, you missed me~” his voice sings out.

You roll your eyes, “Hardly, why are you calling me?”

“Can’t I just talk to you without needing a reason?”

“No Gojo.”

“Ugh you’re no fun like this!” What did he just-? Wait, don't engage, it will only raise your blood pressure. You can hear the bustling street sounds from his end of the call.

“Aren’t you supposed to be retrieving that cursed object? You wouldn’t shut up about it at last night’s meeting.”

“I sent Megumi to retrieve it for me, although now that you mention it.” You overhear Gojo talking to a street vendor before talking to you, “It has been a while since I’ve seen him, I better call to make sure he’s okay.”

“Glad I can help you with that.” You speak with little enthusiasm.

“Buuuuuuuut I’ll call him in a bit,” You can hear his smile, “For now I’m talking to you Sweets.”

“Satoru-” you warn.

“Which flavor of kikufuku did you want again?” He interrupts.

“What?” He can’t be serious.

“Flavor, Sweets,” Annoyed with having to repeat himself, “Which did you want?”

He is serious. Panda and Inumaki are slowly creeping closer towards you trying to be as quiet as possible but they’re failing. You’ll work on stealth training when you all get back from the mission. You take a few more steps away from them and you hear a frustrated groan out of Panda.

You pinch the bridge of your nose and mutter, “You need to get that cursed object dumbass, not sending Megumi to do your job and getting kikufuku!”

“I just wanted to be sure-” A ringtone interrupts his voice. Finally a chance to get off this call.

“Oh I’m sorry,” Your voice drips mockingly, “Someone more important is calling,”

“Wait- more important? Who’s calling you-?!”

You hang up his call without answering his question and bring your phone up with the new call, “Hello?”

“Hello is this-?”

You recognize the sound of her voice- “Yes this is she.”

“Hello Miss, I’m one of the nurses here at Sugisawa Hospital and I just wanted to call to inform you that Wasuke Itadori has passed.”

The silence that fills the air is deafening, which is surprising considering the call you just had with Gojo. Your head hangs low as a sad smile forms on your face.

“I see,” your brow furrows and wonder if Yuji was there when it happened?

“Yes, he actually was the one to alert us of it happening,” did you just say that outloud?

“He’s even filling out some of the paperwork on your behalf as of this moment.”

Inumaki points, “Tuna, tuna.” Panda and Maki turn to see you walking back towards them, determined.

“Yes, I understand. Thank you for the call, I’ll be on the next train to Sendai in just a few moments.” You hang up the call and look at your students. They’ve never seen this side of you. There’s a fire behind your eyes, face stern as you pocket your phone in your pocket..

“I’ll see you all later tomorrow when I’ll meet you on the train to Sakata. Your train is going to leave in the morning, I’ll get on at Sendai.” You tell them voice unwavering. They nod their heads and notice the small trail of cursed energy starting to build from your legs.

“We’re sorry for your loss, Sensei.” Panda says and you smile.

“Don’t be, at least he had an honorable death.” And before they could say goodbye you’re gone.

Flashes of greenery pass by as you sprint through Japan. It’s been about a year since you’ve had to travel this long of a distance using your technique. It’s worth it to get more stamina and test your limits.

With your technique you’re able to manipulate your own blood stream. By manipulating your blood you’re able to greatly increase the amount of oxygen your body needs for your blood cells. It’s something you learned when you were first using your technique.

With this you’re able to run much faster than any human possibly could, and that’s even without using cursed energy. You remember Gojo taking you to see some X-Men movie and he pointed to Quicksilver saying “Hey that’s just like you! Except you know he’s better cuz he doesn’t have to use cursed energy to get even faster he’s just that fast alrea-”. You punched him for that.

The distance is starting to get to you though. After 40 minutes you reach Sendai and you’re out of your reserve of stored cursed energy. Gasping for breath, you run towards the hospital and go up the stairs to the level they kept Wasuke on. The floor is practically deserted and feels very liminal. The hum of the hospital lights and a nurse typing on a computer are the only things you can hear.

“Pardon me,” You walk up to the nurse at the front desk, “I was told that there might be some paperwork to fill out. I’m Wasuke Itadori’s daughter-in-law.”

The nurse looks up at you and smiles. You try your best to smile back but something feels wrong; like there’s a curse nearby but you can’t feel any cursed energy. Maybe it’s the totem they use at the hospital.

“I remember seeing you here earlier today, I am sorry for your loss. Wasuke was a good man.”

You want to laugh but instead say, “Grumpy as all hell though.”

“True,” The nurse looks back at her computer and types. “So looking through the records here there’s just one thing Yuji didn’t fill out.”

“Only one?”

“Yes, do you happen to know how Mr. Itadori wanted his body to be. . .” She trails off and looks at her computer to avoid your gaze. These weren’t easy conversations to have and you can understand why she didn’t want to ask Yuji this question.

You nod solemnly, “Cremation please.”

She nods back and types it into the system, “I just need your signature.”

You sign for it and the nurse gives you one more smile, “Perfect, thank you so much.”

“You’re welcome,” You turn to leave but quickly turn back to the nurse, “I meant to ask when I first came in, but do you happen to know where Yuji is?”

The nurse thinks for a moment, her face scrunched up in concentration.

“If I remember correctly,” She looks at you, “Yuji was talking to someone who was wearing something similar to you; he mentioned something about curses and Yuji’s club then they left.”

Anxiety builds in your chest, so you were feeling cursed energy earlier. You need to focus.

“Thank you,” You barely say as you rush out the door. Once you get outside you start heading towards the direction of Yuji’s school or at least you think you’re heading in the right direction. You only visit during holidays and even then you’re sometimes held up due to missions.

Focus, you try your best to find a trail from the cursed object. It’s faint but it’s strong enough to follow. You imbue your run with cursed energy and make it to his school in record time.

The school reeks of death- You can sense Fushiguro and three humans inside so as you near the gate you just hop over it, adrenaline now taking over.

A protective sense washes over you and your cursed energy increases. You travel up the stairs skipping over every other step trying to sense where specifically these curses were. Making it to the fourth floor you can overhear, “NUE!” before the curse crashes through the walls, going outside.

You run towards the rubble and try to look out the gaping hole the curse made but you can’t see outside.

“Help-” You barely hear it due to the commotion just a few feet away from you but you see two of Yuji’s classmates, one unconscious and the other fighting to stay awake on the ground.

“I got you, don't worry.” You pick them up the best you can without causing more harm, “What are your names?”

“Setsuko Sasaki and he��s-” She chokes out a sob.

“He’s gonna be alright, focus on your breath.” You tell Sasaki and she tries her best.

“He’s Takashi Iguchi-” Sasaki whimpers before- THUMP! “You idiot-!”

You need to get them out of here now and kill the curse that Fushiguro is dealing with.

“Alright Sasaki, I’m going to take you both to the hospital. I need you to close your eyes for me alright. It’ll only take me a minute.”

She barely nods her head and once her eyes are closed you instantly sprint them both back to the hospital you were at a mere 5 minutes ago.

You wish you had the time to stay and make sure they would be okay but as soon as a couple nurses take them from your arms you tell them the kid’s names and you sprint back to the school.

I’m not gonna make it-

The second you return to the school, the strong cursed energy presence is gone but there’s two sources of energy coming from the school Fushiguro and. . . ? Confused, you work your way back up to where the curse broke through the wall. You can suddenly feel Gojo’s presence but that still doesn’t explain the other cursed energy output you feel. CRASH!

You step outside of the gaping hole and run up towards Fushiguro who’s holding a bag.

“Fushiguro!” As you run towards him, you notice he doesn’t seem to realize you're there. You look up towards the ongoing fight and you pale.

. . . Sukana? But-?

“Ah Sweets! I was wondering when you would show up,” Gojo says while fighting Sukana with ease. You feel like you’re going to throw up. Gojo punches Sukana away from where you and Fushiguro are. Once Sukana gains his footing he starts running towards you all.

“You Jujutsu sorcerers are always such a pain in the ass in any era!” Sukana yells out as he uses his cursed energy to destroy the ground you’re standing on. You close your eyes to brace for impact but you never feel it. As the dust settles Gojo has his hand up using his Infinity to keep you all safe. The last thing you hear is Gojo counting to 10.

Sukana stands frozen in place and his eyes close. His head bobs right back up and you really are going to throw up. You feel like you’re underwater and can’t breathe. This cannot be happening-

“Auntie? What are you doing here-?” Gojo puts his fingers up to Yuji’s head and knocks him out.

Before Gojo could question what Yuji just said, you suddenly drop to your knees, tears welling up in your eyes.

Yuji is Sukana’s vessel. You. . .

failed.

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trippinsorrows · 3 months ago

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through your eyes + au 4

authors note: thank you so much to all of ya'll showing interest in this little au 🥺🥺🥺 ya'll are the real mvp's.

masterlist

words: 4.5k // warnings: some smut, roman being possessive/borderline stalkerish

Solana is clearly naive.

Embarrassingly so, because for her to just assume she could dip out on Roman Reigns without there being any sort of consequence or him wanting to follow up was simply ludicrous.

It’s ludicrous and simply not going to fly for the Head of the Table, hence Solana’s current situation. Standing at the back of her store trying to convince Sami Zayn to deliver her very clear, unmistakable message to Roman who’s apparently waiting out back for her.

“Sami, I’m sorry you’re in….in the middle of this, but I—I don’t want to see Roman.” There’s a strange, borderline uncomfortable feeling that rises, even as the words leave her mouth. Solana knows that’s what she needs to say and should say, but there’s a part of her that doesn’t want to say it.

But, then she thinks back to Rosalia’s cruel words, hurtful but true. And it’s the reminder she needs. She swallows, reiterating, “please tell him I’m not interested.”

And while these may be words spoken from a sudden sense of finality, they seem to be more of a death sentence to the man before her. Sami’s face is growing red and ruddy by the minute. “Oh boy.” He blows out a breath and runs his hand through his still unkempt hair. “Ms. Miller—”

She gives him a small smile. “You can call me Solana.”

“I can’t call you anything if I’m dead.” Her eyes go wide, and he winces, apologizing. “I’m sorry. I just—I’ve been working hard to work my way up in the Bloodline and telling the Tribal Chief no….well, that sure seems like a good way to get my ass chewed up and spit out….or worse.”

A deep frown settles on Solana’s face as she nervously taps her fingers against the side of her legs. The last thing she wants is for Roman to take his anger at her ‘rejection’ out on Sami. She’s not worth that.

At all.

Gasping quietly, she shares, “I have an idea.” She motions for him to follow her, Solana guiding them to her office in the back. Grabbing a pen and the notebook on her desk, she quickly gets to writing, not allowing herself to think too much. That’ll only cause her to second guess her decision, when she really can’t afford to do so.

Roman,

I’m sorry for leaving abruptly, but that shouldn’t have happened. We’re two very different people. I’m not what you’re looking for. Let’s just end this now before it gets too far.

Sorry for wasting your time.

Solana

She doesn’t even give herself the chance to look it over, ripping it from the notebook, folding it over and handing it to Sami. “Just give him this.”

Sami looks down at the piece of paper like it may contain anthrax. He then sighs, heavily, accepting it from her. “Alrighty then.”

Grateful for his amenable nature, she offers a small smile of appreciation. “Thank you, Sami.”

He says nothing, just walks out without another word to deliver the message that will, hopefully, close up this strange, unexpected, brief chapter of her life involving a certain Roman Reigns.

Never mind the strange feeling in the pit of her stomach making Solana wonder if she’s made a mistake.

But, she quickly pushes it away. The silly thing. Of course, she made the right decision. There’s no place in her life for someone like Roman Reigns.

It’s just better this way.

—--------

In recent months, it’s happened more often than not that Solana finds she has the condo she shares with two of her best friends, Rhea and Kayden, to herself.

Just Solana and her 8 month old puppy, Dulce.

Tonight happens to be one of those nights.

And she’s grateful. Because while Rhea still remains oblivious to Solana’s…..experiences with Roman, Kayden is aware and skeptical of Solana’s made up story about the evening not going well, hence her coming home early last night. It would be a believable story, especially considering this is Roman, but not for the fact that Solana sucks at lying and Kayden is a truth seeker through and through.

So having a night off of having to dodge her sly attempts to coax out the truth is appreciated.

Very much so.

Kayden is spending the night over at her latest fuck buddy's, and Rhea…..well, Solana doesn’t exactly know why Rhea has been coming home either at an ungodly hour or not until sunrise the next day. It’s sort of out of character for her normally antisocial friend, but Solana also knows that Rhea is the person who will open up about things when she’s ready, so she's just left it alone.

But them being gone leaves Solana and Dulce with the condo to themselves. Hence her taking the opportunity to truly decompress from an eventful, stressful week. After her ‘everything’ shower, she puts her hair in space buns and pulls out the skimpy shirt and underwear set gifted to her by Rhea last Christmas. It’s not something Solana would ever wear in front of anyone, somewhat because of the emo design but mostly because it’s so revealing. A thong and barely there tee.

It’s also an intentional thing, walking around so exposed, more skin on display than usual. Something to aid in building back up her body confidence that was almost entirely squashed under the overwhelming weight of those infamous text messages.

Solana does her best not to revisit those dark times, arguably one of the hardest periods of her life. She can’t go back. Has come too far and made too much progress to regress. Even more, he isn’t worth it.

Never was.

Filling her Stanley cup up—a gift from her bougie ass cousin Jade—with ice, Solana grabs a water bottle and empties it, topping the icy water with two lemon packets. Tossing the used packets in the trash, she grabs her phone and ventures through her many Spotify playlists, settling on the R&B one. Turning on her Beats headphones, she slides them over her ears, smiling at the opening notes of Fantasy by Mariah Carey.

Walking out the kitchen, phone in one hand, Stanley cup in the other, she hits the lights and hums along to one of Mariah’s many bangers. Her smile grows and hips naturally move to the rhythmic, infectious beat as she hits the light switch in her bedroom, walking over to her nightstand where she deposits her cup.

Shuffling over to her attached bathroom, she flicks the switch and goes to put away some of the products used during her hour spent in there for the shower and everything after. Cleaning and Mariah end up being the perfect combination, Solana’s singing and dancing increasing and evolving into a brief, silly little moment of her using her hairbrush as a microphone. A nice, little nostalgic throwback to so many summers ago that she spent with her cousins, staying up much later than what they should have, giggling over trivial things like boy bands and school gossip.

Much simpler times.

Before she grew up and realized that maybe the idea of men—and love—would always be better than the reality. At least, for her.

Pleased with the clean state of her bathroom, Solana turns off the lights and dances and sways her shapely hips while sauntering back into her bedroom.

“I’m in heaven. With my boyfriend, my laughing boyfriend. There’s no beginning, and there is no—AHH!”

Eyes wide, hand against her chest, Solana is rendered speechless and barely avoids a heart attack at the sight that awaits her.

Roman.

In her home.

In her bedroom.

Sitting on the chair by her vanity, Dulce in her bed just a few feet away, sleeping like everything is fine. Like there’s not a complete stranger in her room.

Her brother and dad were definitely right about one thing. Dulce is for comfort. Not protection.

Solana just continues to stare, in a brief state of shock while Roman simply states with a smirk.

“Don’t stop on my account, baby.” Oh my God. “I was enjoying the hell out of that show.” His light brown eyes travel over her body, as she rips off her headphones. “Very, very much.”

It’s that statement that reminds her of her attire. Or lack, thereof. A humongous wave of embarrassment and borderline humiliation wash over her as she reaches for her robe on the bed, hurriedly putting it on and tossing the headphones down on the mattress.

Roman chuckles at the action, standing up from the chair, reorienting Solana to the situation. The potential severity of the situation.

“Roman, what are you—how did you—” She has so many questions. A ton. A million. But, the first one is how. “How did you get in—I –made sure the doors were all l–locked.”

He stops halfway, scoffing, “sweetheart, you can’t be that naive. Locked doors don’t do shit. Especially not for someone like me.” A sort of frown then falls on his face as he shares, “you really should have a security system. I’ll have one put in tomorrow.”

Solana can barely process him telling her that he’s getting a security system installed in her home, because he’s back moving toward her, a small slice of panic forming.

Moving back against the closest wall, she cautions in the least intimidating voice ever. “I–I’ll scream.”

Again, he pauses, that wicked smile reappearing. “Oh, I am going to make you scream, but it won’t be out of fear.” Solana’s stomach flutters, but she can’t tell if it’s because of his suggestive comment or just the asinine nature of this entire situation.

And, it’s when he’s directly in front of her, one hand planted on the wall above her that she finds it in her to ask, “Roman, what—what are you doing here?”

In her house. In her room. In her life. She’ll take an answer for any of them at this point.

Meanwhile, he simply responds like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’ve been avoiding me.” Solana wouldn’t call it avoidance as much as she would call it trying to pretend he doesn’t exist and what happened between them never occurred.

Tried to play all of that off as some bad dream. Or maybe just a dream, because nothing about how he made her feel back in that locker room could ever be even remotely close to bad.

But, she can’t tell him that.

Of course not.

So, she does the possible worst thing someone could do in this situation.

She lies.

Sidenote: Solana hates that he’s so close to her for a plethora of reasons, the major one being that he’s close enough to touch her. A dangerous, dangerous thing. It's.....distracting

“I—I haven’t.”

Roman makes a ‘tsk tsk tsk’ sound. “Lying to me never turns out well for people, but you’re pretty, so I’ll give you a pass. This time.” She swallows, practically unable to stop their locked gaze. “Why?”

She didn’t realize the first statement was actually a question, but that’s irrelevant now. “I—I told you. I—” She blows out a breath. “What happened was—was a mistake.”

“Bullshit,” he’s calling her bluff. “You don’t believe that.”

Maybe she does. Maybe she doesn’t. But, there’s nothing confusing or conflicting about her next statement. “I’m not—I’m not like that, Roman. I don’t…..sleep around. I—” Solana has to stop herself. The last thing she needs to be telling this man is that she’s still a virgin. Something tells her it’ll up the ante. “My fiancé or—”

He cuts her off, asking, “are you still engaged?”

That might be the easiest thing he’s ever asked her. “No.”

“Good.” He shrugs, adding casually while shrugging one shoulder. “Wouldn’t have made a difference. I would have just killed him anyway.”

Horrified. Solana should be horrified by that chilly statement. No doubt something he would 100% do. Men like Roman have no moral compass. They live by their own primal, selfish wants without regard for others. And yet, something within Solana, that might not be too far off from Roman’s lack of morality, causes her to mutter, “I–I should probably be more disturbed by that.”

Roman’s eyes narrow with curiosity. “Do you want me to kill him?”

“No.” That’s also an easy answer. Well. Sort of. “But—”

“But?”

She shouldn’t say it. Absolutely should not say it, and yet, something dark within her makes it creep out, sneaks it past her inner morality police. “If you had asked me a couple months ago, I might have given you a different answer.”

Awful. It’s an awful thing to say about another human being....even if that human being is a piece of scum.

Finding out the truth about her relationship, finding out the facade of her relationship nearly broke her. Solana's heart was shattered into a thousand pieces that she’s still working to regroup. She’s far from where she was when her world fell apart but is still not exactly who she was prior to the ruination.

She’s not sure she’ll ever be.

Meanwhile, Roman makes a sound, sharing, “maybe I’ll kill him anyway.”

And this is why Solana didn’t want to say anything. Because it’s like dangling candy in front of a kid. Still, what motive would he have?

Solana is partially confused and needs to not think about his touch, thus her going for a relevant distraction. “For what reason?”

With a dark chuckle, he traces random patterns against the belt of her robe. “He obviously hurt you. That’s reason enough for me.”

Solana frowns. This man makes no sense. No sense whatsoever.

Her voice is low, heavily weighed down by confusion and something else she can’t identify. “Roman, what—what do you want from me?”

“A lot.” Her stomach is knotting all over again. That is not the answer she was expecting. “But, let’s start with why you left.”

“I told you—”

“The truth, Solana.” His voice goes hard as does his expression. “I’m not going to ask you again.”

She believes it.

Swallowing, she realizes the truth is something that he’s going to get one way or another. Might as well concede now.. “Your…..your sister—”

He briefly looks away, muttering something in a language she doesn’t recognize. His gaze is then back on her. “What did she say?”

“Nothing nice.” It’s not the specifics, but it is an answer. A truthful answer, just like the next part of her statement. “But—but, she wasn’t wrong either.” Solana shakes her head, once again reiterating, “if–if you’re looking for an easy lay, then—”

“Solana, I can get that anywhere and with anyone. Respectfully, if that’s what I wanted, I wouldn’t be standing here in front of you.”

She believes it. Because it makes sense. There’s no shortage of women who would gladly give Roman whatever he wants, however he wants it, and whenever he wants it. And yet, he’s here with her….for what?

It’s a question she finds herself verbalizing.

“Why—why are you here then?”

Roman just looks at her, his eyes twinkling with desire. And right there, Solana knows she should have gone with the scream.

The scream of fear.

“Because I can’t stop thinking about you…..” His volume lowers, but Solana is too caught up on what he said versus how he said it. “How good you smell, how good you look….” She closes her eyes the minute he dips his head, Solana unconsciously grasping his shirt. “How good you tasted.” She releases a shaky breath that matches the light tremble of her thighs when he asks, “you been thinking about me?”

Yes. Far too much. An embarrassing amount. “N–no.”

Roman’s deep voice hums against her ear, like he can hear her betraying thoughts.. “Hmmm. I don’t think that’s true.”

Solana should stop him the minute his hand starts to mess with the knot of her belt. Should push his hand away or offer a verbal protest instead of just standing there, letting the robe fall open, revealing herself to him.

She opens her eyes just in time to see Roman soaking her in, eyes slowly and gradually going over her body the same way he’s done the past few times.

“You wanna know what I think?” She’s so thankful he doesn’t wait for a response, cause he’d be waiting for a minute. It seems Mr. Roman Reigns is a voice snatcher, especially when his hand moves to her belly of all places, tip of his finger moving across her pudge. “I think you left because you liked it.”

Oh my God.

Solana’s head falls back against the wall behind her, her hand flattening against his abs.

Roman continues to taunt her and call her bluff. “You liked the way daddy made you feel.” She goes to grab his wrist the minute his hand dips inside her underwear. “The same way I’m making you feel now, huh?”

He’s not lying. Even if she wanted it to be a lie, the truth is unavoidable and inescapable, right there, real and tangible as he grazes his fingers over her lips.

Soaked.

Of course.

“What you need to understand, baby, is that daddy can do this cat and mouse shit all day.” Roman’s words are accompanied by him moving his hand to slide her panties to the side as he slips one of those deliciously long, thick fingers inside of her, making her arch against him. “I always get what I want, and I want you.” She chews on her bottom lip as he enters another finger, her walls contracting around him. Roman groans, “that lil' dick fiancé of yours certainly wasn’t fucking you right cause this pussy way too tight.”

Roman practically growls, moving his other hand from the wall to lift her left leg, widening it, giving him more access to her, his reach inside of her deepening. “Look at how you’re gripping my fingers right now. This cunt needs me.” This new depth has her eyes watering as he thrusts his fingers inside of her, while his thumb flicks at her clit. “Got you this wet from barely doing anything, and you really want me to believe you ain’t been thinking about me?”

Rhetorical. It’s gotta be rhetorical. He can’t honestly expect her to say or respond to anything in a logical manner with how he’s making her feel right now. Overwhelmed. In a good way. A majestic, glorious way.

Solana goes to grip his arm, her fingers unable to touch. He’s so built. “Roman….”

“You said you don’t sleep around, and that’s okay, cause when it's all said and done, you still won't be sleeping around, because the only one who's allowed to touch you from now on is me." She whimpers, that familiar feeling from that night in his locker room coming over her all over again. Her thighs are practically jelly, those tears finally leaving the confines of her eyes. “This tight little pussy is mine.”

That one sentence, possessive and controlling, should not be the thing that sends her over the edge. That has her gripping onto him as her orgasm rips through her body, that has stars shooting behind her closed eyelids. But, that’s exactly the case. Roman has to practically keep her upright as he watches her come all over his hand.

His lips ghost over the outline of her jaw. “I could never get tired of watching you come.” But the minute he pulls his fingers out of her used, puffy vagina, and Solana opens her eyes to see him licking them clean, she nearly comes all over again.

This man is going to ruin her.

He uses that same hand, damp fingers going under her chin to lift her head, making her look at him.

“You ran because it freaks you out that you’re interested in me the same way I’m interested in you.” And before she can even begin to sit on that, he throws her for another loop. “I’m not gon’ make you do anything you don’t wanna do, but just know this, you will want it before it’s all said and done.”

Solana swallows, completely wordless and wholly stunned at just how the hell this happened yet again. He says a couple things, gives her a few touches, and she spreads her legs without second thought. Like her vagina has its own mind and thought process, completely uninterested in whatever logic may be going on upstairs in her brain.

She’s (her pussy) just trying to get hers, and Roman just happens to be very…..very good at that.

Unfortunately.

“Now let’s try this again.” Roman slides his arm through the back of her robe to pull her closer against him. Her hand moving up his abs to his chest seems to elicit the slightest hiss from him. A reaction that has her both confused and excited. “I’m asking you to have dinner with me.”

Her eyes widen. He’s asking her. Giving her a choice. Not a demand. And while it should feel good to some extent. Nice to have some autonomy. It’s still…

The answer is obvious. The same reason she ran out that night. The same reason she gave him that letter. Roman is not the type of man she needs to be messing around with. He’s dangerous. Beyond dangerous. Unpredictable. Older. She could probably create a generous list of reasons to tell him no. To take this 'out' he’s giving her.

And yet……

She’s briefly pulled from her thoughts when he brings his hand to her face, cupping her cheek. His expression is soft, such a marked contrast for everything about him that’s so hard and dark. “I just want to get to know you, La'u Ma'asoama.”

She hasn’t the slightest clue what he just said, but everything about it from the delivery to the almost pleading tone of his deep voice does absolutely nothing to help her resolve.

Solana’s voice is light. “J–just dinner?”

He nods. “Just dinner. I promise to not touch you.” Roman smirks, finger tracing the outline of her lips. “Unless you want me to.”

She closes her eyes. That’s the last thing that needs to happen. She needs to decline, needs to return back to the days where the thought of even entertaining someone like Roman would never even cross her mind. He represents everything in her life she never wanted for herself.

And yet, it’s hard for her to think of anything alarming that's happened that would justify her saying no. Not from what she’s personally experienced with him. He’s direct, yes. Has a filthy (talented) mouth, most definitely. But, he’s yet to be rude or mean or exhibit any of the other horrible things she’s heard about him making her wonder if maybe…..just maybe, there’s more to Roman Reigns than meets the eye.

He was right about one thing.

There's definitely an interest on her part.

“O–okay. ”She finally concedes, stomach fluttering at his smile. He’s so handsome. “But, can—can it be some place private? I—” She’s not sure how to tell this man that at her big age of 28, she’s nervous about her family finding out about…..whatever this is. Doesn’t want to risk anyone seeing her with Roman Reigns, of all people. On a date, nonetheless.

Roman, however, just scoffs. “I hate people, Solana. I especially hate being bothered when I’m busy.” That’s not surprising at all. “And I plan to be very busy with you.” His thumb caresses the apple of her cheek. “It’ll be private.”

He needs to stop touching her so much. She’d very much like to be able to think straight with lucidity, and that’s clearly not a possibility when he’s touching her.

“O–okay.”

“Good girl.” And he definitely needs to stop referring to her as that for……reasons. “I’ll text you the details.”

Her brows furrow. “You–you have my number?”

He shrugs like it’s an obvious thing. “Of course.”

Never mind the fact that this man has her number, something she’s always prided herself on in only allowing those close to her have such close contact. It's besides the point, because she has another pressing question. “So—why didn’t you just….call or–or something instead of…..” She doesn’t know why she has a hard time finishing her sentence. Calling him out, in a sense, on literally breaking and entering into her house.

Cause that’s exactly what he did.

And yet, she’s still standing here, entertaining him when she should have just called the police or something. Not that that would make a difference. It’s a known fact that the Bloodline has practically the whole state of Florida on payroll. Police departments included.

Roman shakes his head. “A phone call doesn’t let me see this pretty face.” Her breathing is once again interrupted when he flits his thumb across her lips, separating them ever so lightly. “Or touch you….”

Lord.

He smiles at her poorly hidden reaction to such a touch, dropping his hand. “And don’t worry about Rosalia. I’ll take care of her.” If she wasn’t his actual freaking sister, Solana might be a bit fearful of what the ‘take care’ means.

The Bloodline may be ruthless, but they don’t play about family. Going after blood is strictly prohibited outside of the most extreme cases. And Roman’s sister essentially calling her a whore is far from extreme.

“One more thing.” Solana gasps when he suddenly turns her around and tugs off her robe, the soft plush falling to the ground, leaving her exposed yet again in front of this man.

“R–Roman!” Before she can try to cover herself, Roma tugs her close, her back pressed up against his front. Solana refuses to acknowledge the hardness pushing into her back.

He then drops his mouth by her ear again, murmuring, “you don’t ever have to be insecure around me.” Roman moves his big hands over her thick thunder thighs. “These gon’ keep my face when I’m eating.” He steps back just enough to palm her ass, sharing, “I’m gonna love seeing the recoil of all this ass you got when I’m fucking you from behind.” More movement to the front and upward, Roman palming her breast through her flimsy top. “Can’t wait to feel all up on these big titties while watching you ride my dick.” And finally, he dops both hands to her belly, gathering her rolls. “And this……It’s all you, so I fuckin love it.”

She’s beyond grateful he doesn’t let those big, talented hands travel to the space between her legs, because it’s just plain embarrassing how he’s got her pussy throbbing and wet all over again from some not so innocent touches.

Roman Reigns is clearly no good for her.

And yet, the slightest frown appears on her face when he releases her, stepping back, eyes quickly snapping back up from her ass as she turns around.

His smile is smug and borderline arrogant. Or maybe knowing. Because arrogance implies a greater sense of importance that doesn’t match actual abilities. And Roman most certainly has some sinfully delightful abilities.

Their gazes are locked as he murmurs, “Goodnight, Solana.” She licks her lips, ready to return the parting term when he simply walks past her and out the door, closing it behind him.

It’s only then that she leans back against the wall, hands to her face, trying to process just what the hell just happened.

Because, truly, what the hell just happened?

#roman reigns x black!oc #roman reigns fic #roman reigns fanfic #arisnotebook

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riddles-n-games · 1 month ago

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Hey guys, I've been seeing another rift going on in the fandom regarding TGG and TIG characters, so I've decided to make a statement that can hopefully make things more cohesive.

I understand that not everyone likes the new spin-off and honestly, I'm considering just stopping after GU. Personally, I don't have anything against the characters of TGG but my problem is that they sound too much like our old mains. However, that's not their fault. It's the author's. There's nothing wrong with JLB wanting to expand the TIG universe but it is problematic when you are repeating the same character arcs of the old characters that are also present and interacting with these new mains. The problem that we face is the fact while even in The Naturals there are similar characters, they are divided by different series. However, that is not going on here with TIG and TGG. TGG is a continuation of TIG and our TIG characters are still present. Heck, one of our old mains is a player and a love interest here to one of the new mains. And therein lies the issue. When you have a connected series, it's important to have distinguished characters with different voices, not carbon copies.

What I expected for TGG characters was that she would move from the character tropes we've seen already in the series and come up with new ones. I mean, come on, she's a psychology major, we bring that up so often but what's the point when she keeps going in circles and never brings up anything new? I pointed a lot of this out pre-read because I already correctly guessed where this was going within just a few pages of reveal. Don't get me wrong, if she wanted to, she could do it but it doesn't feel like she has new plans or plots. Be honest with yourselves and don't just praise because she's your favorite author. You can be a reader, a fan, and a respectful critic all at the same time. Don't lower your expectations just because they can't deliver every time.

The trouble is that when you go back to TFG, in the acknowledgments, she herself wrote she wasn't sure there was going to be a third book. And now look, suddenly two books were announced a month or two after she released the last book of the trilogy which introduced our mains and not the most fashionably. I do believe she had ideas but I don't think they were the best fleshed out. You have to realize that just reading TGG, how many of you recognized the obvious plots, the romantic subplots, the character arcs, and even the semi-hidden plots just getting to the halfway point? And how many of you said, hey, wait a minute, we've had this plotline before? You did, didn't you? I want to give Jennifer the benefit of the doubt but I truly think she is in over her head because I don't believe she quite thought that this is how long the series would go.

In fact, I think that she is making more trouble for herself in trying multi POV for this new series when really I think it should have just been Gray taking over. It would have allowed us to see how he's grown especially after the heartache and mental health issues he's had to go through to get here. It felt like the obvious next step, even the summary for TGG made it sound like that. However, the only thing that seems new to me is the hypersexual atmosphere which also makes no sense to me because teens may go through attraction but that doesn't mean they're horny all the time and anyone who's gone through puberty can attest to that. So I ask again, like one reviewer on Goodreads put, were the romantic moments in the room with us? 12 hours is not love or romance, it's lust, that's it. Couldn't summarize it clearer. If she wanted to make it better, it could have been that she made the book stretch over a series of weeks which is why I wonder what the heck will happen to any character development if this book series is done in like 3 days?

As I said, a lot of things feel very repetitive, the plot, word choice, thought processes, quotes and sayings, etc. We are in a loop. She's in a loop. I think that the best thing JLB could have done is leave TIG alone for a few years after TFG, make a new series or whatever works outside this series she wanted to, give herself time to truly see if she has new stories to tell for TIG by writing a spin-off and then come back to give us that content. Because it's really telling how forced things have been in the last two books, even here with GU and I really think this empire is toppling. As they say, quality over quantity and thoughtful than full of thoughts that are just a variation of one another. That's what makes me think more and more she should have left it at TFG.

Thank you for reading and I hope this gives a new perspective that can help you see some things more clearly.

#tig analysis #tig anecdote #the inheritance games rant #thank you for coming to my ted talk #the inheritance games #the final gambit #the grandest game #tig #tfg #tgg

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fallenangelicss · 4 months ago

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Catching Stray Kisses

PAIRING | Bridget | Queen of Hearts/James Hook

WORD COUNT | 1077

SUMMARY | When bored in class, Briget reverts to people-watching to pass the time. What she didn't expect was to find someone already watching her. The culprit behind it also seems to be pretty good at pulling a rise out of her.

RATING | Teen And Up Audiences

WARNING/TAG(S) | No Archive Warnings Apply

A/N | This is my first time partaking in a month-long prompt list so I'm going to do my best to keep up with it can get as many done as I can. It'll hopefully give me a reason to write more which I desperately need. Also, if you'd like to support me then you should consider downloading the Kinder World app with this link. My referral code is WV9K4X but if you need a new referral code then feel free to reach out!

EVENTS | @aug-kissed | Blow A Kiss

AO3 LINK | Read Here

Bridget sat bored in class, her head resting on one of her hands as her feet kicked back and forth under the desk. As much as she loved Merlin’s classes, they tended to drag on when they weren’t doing any sort of practical work. The singular hour that they were in the room seemed to stretch on for days and it didn’t help at all that it was the last lesson before they were free to do as they pleased.

Ella sat next to her, carefully taking notes as Merlin taught at the front of the room, occasionally writing what seemed to be nonsense on the chalkboard. Bridget knew it would be smarter for her to just pay attention now so she wouldn’t have to beg Ella later for her notes but she couldn’t bring herself to focus on the teacher for more than a few moments at a time, all the information he was spouting going in through one ear and out the other.

It was honestly exhausting just sitting there. Bridget was ready to go up to her dorm and take a nap until dinner time then maybe make some sort of sweet treat afterwards that she could share around. She didn’t know what she would make but she knew she was itching to stand in front of her homemade mini-kitchen and get back to what she loved doing.

Letting her eyes dance around the classroom after they instinctively went back to the clock hanging on one of the walls, seeing how they still had another twenty minutes to go before class was over, Bridget resorted to some sightseeing, attempting to find something that could keep her occupied while she waited for the bell to ring.

Most of the students in the room, like her, seemed to be too bored to comprehend what was happening in front of them which could only be Merlin’s fault as he should’ve known better than to give anyone a theory lesson as their last class on a Friday.

Like most days, Bridget noticed Uliana terrorising some of her classmates with her tentacles, trying to be discreet about it. At her side sat Morgie, which Bridget wasn’t surprised to see. Laughing almost uncontrollably at whatever it was that Uliana did, Morgie was always attempting to be a good villain for her. Another thing Bridget wasn’t surprised to see was Hades and Maleficent sat next to one another, their hands interlocked while Maleficent sketched something on some scrap paper and Hades messed around with some sort of fire magic.

What Bridget was however surprised to see was Hook sitting by himself and staring directly at her. Normally he would be the one sitting next to Uliana, if not he would drag Morgie into the seat next to him so he was never by himself. But to see him alone and staring directly at Bridget was a shock, especially when he didn’t look away once he noticed Bridget had caught onto his stare.

Blinking a few times to make sure she wasn’t seeing things, Bridget came face to face with Hook every time she opened her eyes. Not knowing what to do, a shy smile made its way onto her face to not seem rude under Hook’s stare.

What Hook did next though threw her for a loop.

A smile of his own crept its way onto Hook’s face, the grin being more of a smirk than anything else. His eyes slowly crept up and down Bridget's frame before sending a wink her way, making a pink hue dust her cheeks as she zapped back around and faced the front of the classroom.

“Are you okay,” Ella asked, noting how Bridget was sitting with her spine straight and a flustered expression on her face. Still taking notes as she waited for an answer, Ella’s eyes ticked up to where Bridget was attempting to glance over her shoulder without getting caught and failing to do so. “Did something happen?”

“Nope,” Bridget quickly said, hands coming together and interlocking. Although Ella wasn’t born to much status like Bridget was, she could still notice when someone’s Princess was showing and that was exactly what was happening here as Bridget gushed to herself. Something regarding a boy had just happened and Ella was going to figure out what and who it was no matter what. “Everything is perfectly fine and normal. No reason to be worried at all.”

“Saying that just makes me more suspicious,” Ella warned, noticing how Bridget tensed up a little before sighing, almost as if her resolve was breaking. With just a little more pressure, Bridget would spill everything to her but it seemed like not much effort would be needed from Ella as Bridget was already undoing herself, fidgeting in her seat as she tried not to look back and giveaway who it was. Stopping for a moment before Ella looked back herself to see who it was, she rested a hand on Bridget’s arm and said, “It’s fine Bridget, you can tell me anything. I’m certainly not one to judge you.”

“You’re right,” Bridget smiled, returning the favour and grabbing onto Ella’s wrist, running a thumb over it. “I just noticed someone staring at me and…” “And you think they’re cute?” Ella finished the sentence for her, one of her eyebrows raising at Bridget as she waited for a response. Thinning her lips together, Bridget nodded her head, the blush that was previously coating her cheeks intensifying. “Okay, who is it?”

“Well…” Bridget trailed off, her eyes flicking backwards before looking back at Ella. With a nod of her head in his direction, the two of them looked back at the same time to see Hook still staring at Bridget, the same smirk still coating his face. His eyes didn’t move from Bridget’s face, solely focused on her and not even acknowledging Ella. Raising his hand that wasn’t occupied with a hook, Hook blew a kiss towards Bridget, a chuckle pouring from his mouth when both Bridget and Ella whipped back around.

“Did he just?” Bridget started, not having to finish her sentence for Ella to understand.

“Yeah,” She nodded, just as surprised as Bridget. This was news to Ella. She would have to do a serious amount of stalking and research before she let that pirate anywhere near her friend but for now, it wouldn’t hurt. “Looks like you won’t have to look too hard for a Castlecoming date.”

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trensu · 9 months ago

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Heyyy, long time no post, huh? I'm dropping another chunk of stasis in darkness for you guys! And I wanted to remind people that these posts are basically rough drafts. The final product will hopefully be more polished but in the meantime please enjoy!

After Steve convinced the old man he meant no harm, he’d been allowed into the home. The Lord of Night hadn’t been super specific about the purpose of his quest, only that Steve had to bring him to Wayne Munson. Steve discreetly looked around the home as he entered it. The old man was obviously unwell and had been for a while, given the state of the house. Steve had the creeping suspicion that the time limit the Lord of Night mentioned was linked to the man’s health.

“What are you doing?” Wayne Munson asked suspiciously once he had returned to the kitchen with Steve in tow. He had sat heavily in one of the old worn chairs at the table but Steve, instead of joining him, began to clear the table on impulse. Steve halted awkwardly.

“This ain’t your house, boy,” Wayne said with a scowl. “I can take care of myself.”

Steve did his very best not to look at the scattered mess in the kitchen or living room. It was not the mess of a dirty, careless person. It was the mess of someone tired and overwhelmed. It was the mess of someone in pain who was too proud to ask for help. Steve took in Wayne Munson’s watery eyes, wan skin, and the clothes that were plain things, tattered from use, but mostly stain-free. Steve quickly added all these details and came up with a plan of attack. He set the plate back down.

“Yes, sir,” Steve agreed easily. “I’m aware, but I serve the Lord of Night and he sent me to you specifically. In our god’s name, I must assist you in any way I can.”

Wayne’s expression wavered. Steve pushed again. He lowered his gaze in a slightly embarrassed manner, letting a note of uncertainty color his words.

“I don’t know what else to do until nightfall,” Steve said. He rubbed the back of his neck bashfully. “I don’t want him to think I’ve neglected you.”

“What happens at nightfall?” Wayne asked.

“It’s when the Lord of Night wants to see you,” Steve said. Wayne blinked.

“Me? He wants to see me?”

“Yeah! So, if you could please let me,” Steve said, putting on his most endearing smile, “I’d like to take care of you until then. You know, make sure you’re comfortable and get the place ready for a divine visit. If it’s not too much trouble, sir?”

“Uh, no, that should be fine. Is…is there anything I should do?” Wayne asked dazedly.

“Not really. All I know is he really wants to see you tonight. Oh, maybe you’d like to rest until then? A nap, so you’re not drowsy when he arrives.”

Wayne nods, still in shock at the news. He didn’t protest when Steve helped him out of the chair and let him lean his weight on him as they navigated to the bedroom. Wayne sat on the bed as Steve drew curtains closed over the room’s single window. The curtains were thick enough to dim the sun to a pale yellow glow.

“I didn’t know there was anyone else who followed him,” Wayne said as he lay himself down over the covers.

"He told me you’re the only one left, besides me,” Steve told him. “And I only discovered him a month ago by accident.”

“By accident?” Wayne asked with a wry grin.

“My friends found a holy text when we were researching other gods. It was the only one of his in the city's whole library. Then we had a hell of a time trying to find his last shrine. When I finally found it, it was falling apart. He’s been forgotten,” Steve said. At Wayne’s troubled expression, he hurriedly added, “But now that I’ve pledged myself to him, I’m going to make sure people know him again.”

Wayne did not appear convinced, but he finally settled to rest after Steve promised to wake him before sunset. Steve took the opportunity to clean. He hadn’t been lying to Wayne when he said he wasn’t sure what to do until nightfall. It didn’t help that Steve also liked to keep himself busy. Being idle made him itch.

The house was small. Aside from Wayne's bedroom, there was only a cramped kitchen and a modest living room. From the small window of the backdoor, Steve could see a short, worn path to an outhouse.

Given the size of the house, though there was a mess everywhere, it didn’t take Steve very long to clean it all. When it was done to his satisfaction, there were still a few hours left until sunset so he wandered outside. The porch railing was covered with broad green leaves from intertwining vines but Steve left that alone when he saw the small garden nearby. It was full of ripe vegetables that Steve assumed Wayne had been unable to pick himself given his condition.

By the time Steve had picked the vegetables, pulled the weeds, and watered the garden, the sun hung low in the horizon. He cleaned himself up the best he could in the kitchen sink and took one of the chairs from the table to the bedroom before waking Wayne.

He told Wayne what he accomplished during Wayne’s repose. While Wayne expressed his gratitude politely enough, it was still apparent to Steve that the old man was irritated at having needed the assistance at all. To keep Wayne from dwelling on that, as well as to satisfy his own curiosity, he coaxed Wayne into conversation.

“Can I ask, uh, how you–I mean, how did you know? How did you know the Lord of Night existed?"

Wayne laughed at Steve’s befuddled tone. The laugh turned into a coughing fit. Steve quickly fetched him a glass of water and put it on the bedside table after Wayne had a drink.

“My family’s a bunch of no-good criminals,” Wayne croaked. “Were. It’s only me now. But before, each generation of Munsons took it up. Like a family tradition.”

“Criminals?” asked Steve cautiously.

“Thieves and con men. Some ladies of the night, if you catch my meaning. They knew of our Lord of Night and passed the knowledge down,” Wayne sighed sadly. “The life of a criminal ain’t what you call stable. We lost bits and pieces of him with every generation. Like his name. No one’s known his name for a very long time. Is that why he wants to see me? Did I fail him?”

There was genuine distress in Wayne’s question so Steve hid his disappointment. He had hoped the Lord of Night’s last worshiper would at least have a clue about where to start the search for the lost name. He focused, instead, on reassuring the old man.

“I don’t know why he wants to see you, but he wasn’t angry when he sent me. He sounded excited.”

“I suppose that’s a good thing,” Wayne said uncertainly.

“Definitely,” Steve assured. Before Wayne could sink into his gloom again, Steve said, “I know you said you’ve lost some knowledge, but do you know if the Lord of Night has any prayers? I haven’t…I mean, I’ve tried to worship him but I don’t think I can do it right without a prayer. I’m kind of new at all this.”

“My ma used to say our Lord didn’t have patience for formalities,” Wayne said, brow furrowed. “They bored him so he only had a few official prayers. There was one where we’d thank him for any dreams he gave us. I think there was another one that asked for dreams to bring inspiration or something of that sort. I don’t really remember those–ma would be boxing my ears for that if she was still around. I remember the one for protection, since we used that one a lot. It goes:

Lord of Night, Guide us through all phases Of the moon; May the dark be free of All dangers, While your many stars burn.

Wayne’s voice cracked into a coughing fit near the end. Steve hurriedly offered him water again once Wayne had caught it again. Wayne took a few mouthfuls and repeated the prayer again so Steve could learn it. It took a few tries, but Wayne was patient and by the end of it, Steve had it memorized.

“Is that the only one?” Steve asked, hoping to learn more. Wayne grimaced.

“It’s the only one I really remember. The Lord of Night prefers stories. My ma would tell us the best bedtime stories. Said they were for our god as much as for me and my brother. I was never good at coming up with new stories, so I retell my favorites or tell our Lord about my days and give him a little offering.”

Steve wasn't much of a story teller. He supposed he could do as Wayne did until he met up with Robin and Dustin again. They constantly chatted about books they’d read. Steve couldn’t help but notice how, once again, his friends seemed a better fit for his god than he was; all Steve could give his god was his shield and sword. It was discouraging. He had to figure out a way to make up for it somehow.

“What kind of offerings?” Steve asked.

He wanted to give his god more; he wanted to give the Lord of Night something he’d actually like. It wasn’t lost on him that the Lord of Night took him under duress. Who else would’ve been able to complete this quest?

“When I was young, it was horse shoes,” Wayne chuckled at Steve’s confusion. “Thieves are supposed to give him a part of their loot but my ma and pa were horse thieves. They got horseshoes and would leave one for each horse they stole, tied with a braid made of the stolen horse’s mane.”

“You stole horses?” Steve said, unable to fight off a grin as he remembered the conversation he had with the Lord of Night about it.

“Me and my brother, before he passed,” Wayne said with a weak nod.

The sky had darkened by now. Steve pulled the stone out of his satchel. He carefully unwrapped it from the cloth and set it gently on the bedside table next to the glass of water. Wayne eyed it quizzically.

“It’s from his shrine,” Steve explained. Without any further fussing, Steve stood up and went to the door.

“Don’t leave,” the Lord of Night said.

Steve turned to see the god, hooded in his cloak of constellations, sitting in the chair Steve had vacated. The Lord of Night had not even glanced Steve's way when he spoke to him. The god’s attention rested solely on Wayne.

Steve hadn’t seen or spoken to the Lord of Night since he’d been accepted as his holy warrior. The god had needed to conserve his energy, he explained to Steve, so that Steve could complete his quest. The god’s cloak was as mesmerizing as the first time. However, this far from the shrine, the god did not look as solid as he had during the nights he spent with Steve.

“I wanted to give you two some privacy,” Steve said softly.

“I think Wayne would appreciate not being alone,” the Lord of Night said.

The old man stared at the god unblinkingly. Wayne’s expression was one of awe and fear, so Steve did as he was told and stayed in the room though he chose to lean on the wall furthest from the pair. He was still close to them in the tiny bedroom, but it provided the pretense of privacy.

“My Lord?” Wayne’s voice was barely audible.

“Hello. I’ve wanted to meet you for years,” the god said.

#trensu tells stories #steddie #stasis in darkness #stranger things #i'm gonna be honest #i absolutely have no idea how prayers are structured and i've got like zero experience in poetry #i do NOT like how the prayer turned out but #i did my best okay?#steve is so eager to use holy words #i had to give him SOMETHING #also #i'm starting to think i should've been like numbering these posts or something #but it's not like they're actual chapters or have a consistent length yknow?#so idk

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mjolnirswriststrap · 4 months ago

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Just Another Notch

Bucky Barnes x Plus!Reader Masterlist

Summary: If Bucky thinks his charms will work on you, then you’re gonna put up one hell of a fight to prove him wrong. PART 4/? Part 5

An: Hey all, sorry I haven’t updated this baby in months. Gonna try and work on it more from now on. Hopefully it’ll be finished before the end of the year 🤞💜

Word Count: 1,278 (not proofread)

You never found him. After trekking through a path of destruction you realized, you didn’t know where exactly Bruce lives; better yet anywhere besides the lab he considers home. Once large foot prints and fallen trees ceased, so did your trail. You haven’t yet trained on tracking, so someone on foot could allude you indefinitely.

When you made it back to the compound, Friday announced “Stark will see you in his office, Ms. Y/L/N.”. You hadn’t even walked in the door, and already Bruce’s mess was piling up on your lap. As if you had control over a gamma radiated mutant.

Tony had another thing coming If he thinks you’ll pay damages. Your salary consisted of room and board, and a part time paycheck that you sent home to help your parents. Solid wood floors weren’t in your budget.

When you make it to Tony’s office it looks crowded. You can see Natasha, Steve and Bucky all standing around his desk, arms crossed with annoyed looks on their faces. This isn’t good, and it’s all your fault, you should’ve swallowed it, never mentioned it to Bruce.

You knock on the glass door, catching the attention of the the most attractive people you’ve ever seen. Their harsh gaze made you wish your X gene was invisibility. “You wanted to see me, Stark?” You pipe up, hoping the faster you get this over with, the easier it will be. You brave your face to the room, not putting your head down in shame. You won’t let this destroy you, you won’t let bullying ruin the workplace confidence you’d grown.

Tony rolls his eyes, “You know why you’re here, don’t play coy kid.”. Without hesitation You immediately start defending yourself, “I want to be the first one to apologize for the gym floor. I cannot excuse Bruce’s actions, they were not justified in any manor. Destruction of property over measly feelings, if not already, should be a fireable offense. I however have done nothing wrong. I played a part in telling Bruce about the situation, but I never could have foresaw this outcome.” Your chest is heaving when you finish. You’ve kept a neutral look on your face the entire time, meanwhile Tony’s face morphed into confusion, suprise, confusion again and then agreeance.

“Wow, the things I miss not living here.” He laughs, like it was some kind of joke. “I have no clue what you’re talking about, but I’d love for you to tell me the full story later.” You straighten your shoulders, what had you just done? Not only did you snitch on Bruce and yourself, but your pathetic plea was witnessed by three devils. Why are you here then?

You hadn’t done anything else wrong, you haven’t even been on a mission in forever. “Oh, my apologies then, I don’t know why I’m here.” You admit. Now you were unbearably nervous, you didn’t know what to expect. Tony opened a tab on his touch pad inlaid desk, pulling up the picture of an obviously foreign man. His menacing scowl only meant one thing, Hydra.

“Bruno Müller, age 37, served as a hitman for Hydra, much like yours truly.” He waves over to Bucky, giving him stank face. You nod your head, trying to take mental notes. “He was seen last night, on a yacht off the Florida Keys. Intel is saying, he’s hosting a party this weekend, and I want you to be in attendance.” Your head is spinning, you struggle to find the right words.

“What- I mean why me? You have many more capable agents at your disposal.” You’ve lost that workplace professionalism in place of confidence. You know you shouldn’t speak to your boss this way, but who does he think you are, Captain America?

“I would agree to disagree on that. Do not sell yourself short, your capabilities are more than qualified for this mission. But the truth is, no one knows you. You’re faceless.” You try to not let his last words hurt, but you suppose he’s right. It would be a simple plan, get in and get out, right? “What am I doing?” You ask, trying to fit the other three people into the plan somehow. “I need you to first, immerse yourself into this party, let everyone know you’re there. Talk with the women, flirt with the men, drink but don’t get drunk. If someone on this boat has a suspicion of you, it will take a minute for renforcements to arrive. Meaning, fighting off 30+ angry Hydra all by yourself.” He was blatant.

Your anxiety was starting to pick up. You’re not sure you can do it. The two super soldiers behind you instantly notice the shift in your mood. They see the hair on the back of your neck stand, and they can smell the sheen of sweat covering your body. Steve genuinely feels pity for you.

Tony continues, “Infiltrate his office, access his computer and download all of his files onto this bad boy right here.” He pulls a bracelet out of thin air. He gently unclasps it, revealing a usb drive hidden inside. “The second you plug it in, a virus will download onto his computer, corrupting the files, for any further use, and it will immediately download them, bypassing any need for passwords.”

Once he finished you had nothing to say. Well, you had plenty to say, but you couldn’t be sure that you wouldn’t embarrass yourself further. “So, why are they here?” You finally ask, daring to make eye contact with Steve. His eyes weren’t as harsh as you expected.

“Every secret agent needs an intel team, and a guy in their ear, these two are your intel team, and Barnes is your new conscious.” Great. Now instead of playing along with him, you’re forced to be in their presence. You let the heroes behind you groan in place. They must’ve already debriefed, they had no witty remarks or protests.

“When do I leave?” You ask, just wanting to get out of the room at this point. You need to let yourself process everything, before you overload and overstimulate. “Tonight.” You give him a curt nod and leave before your team could ask you any questions. There would be plenty of time for that on the flight there.

Your brain is racing. Maybe it’s the combination of everything happening so far today and it’s only 9am. Or it’s the straps on the sports bra absolutely obliterating your shoulders. You’re pacing down to the simulation room, the only place you can go to escape.

You’re manically talking to yourself when you swing the door open. “How the actual fuck does he expect me to do this alone?” You ask no one. Seeing the empty desk chair Bruce left in its exact spot was enough to send you crumbling to your feet. Pressing your back against the door, squeezing your knees as close to your chest as possible. Bruce isn’t even here to console you because you fucked that up too. You bang the back of your head on the door, “What the fuck is wrong with me?”.

You doubt you’d see Bruce before you left, which meant you wouldn’t see him till you returned, which is never promised, better yet scheduled. You needed answers, why did be react like that? Wrapping your head around it was impossible, unbeknownst to you, Bruce sat pressed against his front door, his head in his hands, wondering why he can’t control his anger. Wondering if he’d scared you away forever, you’d never seen him as hulk before, just Bruce. He knew you liked just Bruce, but now there’s no telling.

#avengers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #avengers #bucky barnes #mcu #fanfic #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky x y/n #james bucky buchanan barnes #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes x plus size reader #bucky x plus size reader #bruce banner x reader #bruce banner #bruce banner x you #just another notch #plus size reader

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mcu-fan-fics-blog · 6 months ago

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Abstract Love ii

Part 1 Master List Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Shiled Agent Reader Word Count: 1693 aprrox A/N: Hello! I know this is not one of my bigger series update but this one was the one I was most exited to continue. I am currently working on the third part for this one as well. It should be done soon hopefully. (If I can keep the motivation.)

When you started seeing Natasha you realized something very quickly…She was a runner. It was sometimes harsh, but you married her at the end of the day. It became your thing early on, she would run, and you would let her. It was happening again, but there was something very different about this time. Marriage hadn’t kept you on the same side of the accords. “You’re leaving.” It wasn’t a question, just a statement. “Would it even make a difference?” Things had been turbulent and living under the same roof as her had become difficult. She let the question hang in the air. Her mind wondered if this was how you felt every time she left. Helpless and scared. “You know it would, I care for you.” Her voice was soft, but determined. You nodded. As much as you didn’t want to your emotions were starting to get the best of you. So you took a deep breath. “I’ve let you go…” (So many times) Natasha was reading between the lines. She gulped. “I’m asking you to do the same… I’ll be fine.” You said finally meeting her gaze. “You will be too…”

Natasha couldn’t believe she’d put you in this position more times than she was willing to admit. You closed the duffle and moved to leave the room. “Please… Just wait.” She moved out of your way but her words stopped you. You waited a beat then two. “Are you coming back… to me?” Her voice trembled. She had no right to ask, you never had. You trusted she would, but she needed to hear it. And it killed her that she never did tell you she would come back. “If you let me leave…” She had unconsciously moved to stand between you and the door. Natasha's head tilted in frustration. That wasn’t the answer she was looking for. “Yes.” Your eyes met hers fully and she felt your determination. She stepped away from the door. As you were walking out the door she spoke up one last time. “Just remember I’ve always got your back.” She shut the door softly behind you. Tears had started rolling down her cheeks and she couldn’t let you see her like that.

It had been three months. Three months in which everything had gone to hell with the team and with you. You weren’t present at the fight in Germany, her eyes searched for you when the showdown happened. Steve was the first to notice her questioning look. He just shook his head. That fight had been so grueling, not physically but mentally. Watching her closest friends fight pitted against each other by outside forces. It was only when she watched Tony close in on Steve and Bucky, that she realized you were right. It wasn’t worth the fight with each other. She let them escape and shortly after made her escape. She was finally going after you, it was embarrassing how she didn’t realize before. She had barely spent time in your shared home since you’d left if she had she’d have found you much, much sooner. It took her another month to find, the pregnancy test. You’d fallen off the radar leaving a small trail of breadcrumbs just for her to follow.

It only gave her hope, you were waiting for her. You knew it was her the moment you heard the sequence being knocked on the door. The relief you felt was indescribable, it felt like breathing fresh air for the first time, after being underwater for so long. You couldn’t help but smile. You took your time to answer the door. “Why didn’t you tell me?” You didn’t answer the question. Instead, you let her in your new apartment, She couldn’t help but take the place in, the air it smelt like you, like home. “It took you long enough to find me, to come here.” You gestured and sat on a kitchen stool. Her eyes finally took you in. When her eyes landed on your bump she didn’t move them. “Why didn’t you tell me?” Her eyes bore into yours now. You sighed, taking her in as well. You looked down ashamed fidgeting with your hands, you managed to look back at her. Like you didn’t just see at her, you saw her. You tilted your head. “Because you would’ve run…” You sighed softly taking a deep breath.

The words hit her like a ton of bricks. When she did find it in her to put together the words you cut her off again. “And I would’ve…” The tears in your eyes were building. You shook your head putting together the words. “I don’t think… No, I wouldn’t find it in me to forgive you.” She hated how coherent your argument was. And, How grateful she was that you’d given her a fighting chance, that you knew her like you did. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Her eyes gravitating to your bump her whole body itching to touch you. “It’s a healthy baby, It’s our healthy baby.”She smiled her hands finally reaching for your bump.

Things had drastically shifted after that. Every following moment and every interaction after felt more precious. You seemed to share the sentiment you’d rarely spend time without her, you wanted her around you at all times. Even when she’d inevitably get on your last nerve you still wanted her next to you. She was enjoying the new dynamic, she wasn’t exactly a fan of being away from you. She’d come to realize that the hard way. She’d enjoy the clinging however long she got it, the pregnancy hormones were so far working in her favor. “I’m going to shower if you want to join or sit in.” She called out from the hallway. You stood up as quickly as your body would allow. “I already showered…” You said as you finally managed to stand. “I’ll keep you company.” Natasha smiled. It wasn’t just a partnership anymore. You wanted her company. Natasha loved it, she loves you. She took two more steps faltering at the third. She loves you? “Why’d you stop?” She heard you close the distance between the two of you. A big smile on her face when she turned to see you. “I was waiting for you.” She said simply. Your cheeks flushed a small smile gracing your face. “Cool…”

And now as she stands here, she can’t help the thought. She should’ve told you earlier. She should've told you the moment she realized. Now everything was moving so quickly, a flurry of people rushing you out the door. She couldn’t help but scoff at the irony, she was arguably one of the most adept people in and out of combat, but now in this moment, she was completely lost… Helpless. She could only watch the door you were just rushed out of. “They’re doing everything that they can. She’s in good hands.” Steve's voice brought her out of her thoughts. She watched as he walked into the now-empty room. (Empty because you weren’t there.) Natasha managed to get everyone together despite the tension everyone came together. And she can’t help but laugh at the irony, you’d told her before things when to complete shit.

“Natasha we can’t keep having this argument!” You sighed tired of her jabs. “I’m not arguing with you, I’m right you’re wrong.” (She was arguing with you) “You’re impossible! This is not what I signed up for.” The sincerity of your words stopped her in her tracks. “You can’t walk away because of this!” Natasha piped up. “You don’t see me giving you shit because you signed the accords without talking to me, on national fucking television. Where you almost fucking died too.” She sighed. “I didn’t think you’d oppose.” She said truthfully. “Well, I do… Oppose.” She groaned. “Well, what would you have had me do?” You moved to stand in front of her. “Stay out of it. Now there's no coming back from that signature.” She was silent. “You just betrayed half of our closest friend’s people we consider family.” Natasha knew what she had done, she knew what that signature meant. She also knew your loyalties started and ended with Steve, his righteous moral compass similar to yours.

“I know what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with Steve not how you think it does.” Natasha would be surprised but she knew you, and you knew her. “They’ve all got their heads so far up their asses, that they can't see that this won't end well. They won't realize until one of them… Until it's too late.” You sighed. “They’re only going to realize until someone ends up dead.” Your words weighed on Natasha. The thought honestly was the furthest thing from her mind, but by the second becoming more plausible. “I’m not singing… You won't change my mind, I’m not sorry.” As much as she wanted to say she saw reason she couldn’t if anything it only further spurred her. You left a week after that conversation.

“I’m scared.” She let out softly. What would happen if she lost you forever this time? Tony rushed into the room. “I’ve made sure Y/n’s got the best of the best in there with her.” What would she do with your daughter, You were the best thing she could give her. Natasha Romanoff was not a good mother, you were. “Don’t lose hope…” Tony said looking at Natasha's unresponsive state. Six hours, it had been six hours and they were still working on you. Natasha could swear her heart stopped when she saw the doctors walking out the swinging door. Everyone rushed to stand Natasha being the first one. Her ears were deaf to the lengthy explanations the doctors were giving. Too caught up with the fact they didn’t come out and say ‘Sorry for your loss we did everything we could.’ What she did manage to hear was the last part before they dispersed leaving only one doctor behind. “She’s out of danger for the time being.”

The words flew out of her mouth interrupting the doctor. “Can I see her?”

A/N: I hope you guys enjoyed it. I have a couple new series in the works I'm just not good with endings. Anyways I hope you all have a great amazing day <3

#marvel #fanfic #marvel mcu #natasha romanoff x female reader #natasha romanoff #natasha x reader #natalie rushman #natasha romanov #black widow x y/n #black widow x female reader #marvel cinematic universe #avengers #mcufam #mcu fanfic #mcu

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