#Should I tag- fuck of course I will
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I think Odysseus get stuck in a wall.
#epic the musical#epic fandom#bullshit to keep me going ♾️✨#greek myth retellings#greek tumblr#greek mythology#shitpost#epic odysseus#Preferably with no clothes on :D 🫶#Not rlly nsft like at all but the joke is there 😭😭#Should I tag- fuck of course I will#manwhore au#tw suggestive joke#very tiny tho bc u might not get the ref lol#If not don’t look up the reference
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me, a responsible being, working on the coding project as I should vs. me, a dysfunctional shithead, getting distracted by reading about brains (once aGAIN damnit (it's my favorite "I need to study my field but bc I should do that it's an impossible unthinkable feat now, so I'm reading about something else to fool my brain I'm still being productive"-topic))
#but after my thesis me & brains have been on a break bc got tired reading abt them during that (bc I had a topic that sorta allowed me to#sidetrack to brain stuff also) but seems I'm over the brain overload now#yay? i guess#also no one who actually studies medicine/brains/etc. yell at me abt wikipedia and like ''why are u studying that like that''#I'm just going through the wikipedia & reading article abstracts path; nothing serious#also my procrastination has reached inhuman levels like it's a full-time job now#bc I have like a chill week's worth of work to do and then I've done the courses for my bachelor's degree#but sending in that ''heyy i'm done with the courses let me graduate''-thing fills me up with sO MUCH anxiety & dread I'm working so slow#now (even tho couldn't send that in for like a month bc gotta first wait the courses to be graded and stuff so in actuality I should#not be slowing down even a bit bc I need to finally be done with this damn degree asap; gotta move on and should've ages ago (it's actually#super bad how late I'm with it (1.5 mf years jesus christ; I'm not even like a little bit proud abt getting a degree anymore like I'm sorta#just embarrassed if I have to tell ppl like ''yea I graduated'' bc dude ?? only now?? u were supposed to be done with that 1.5year#ago what have u been doing (fuck if I know) so I'm keeping it like ''if anyone asks'' basis)))#(the tags and parantheses started a life of their own lol sorry abt that)#studyblr#studyspo#bookblr#booklr#study#november 2024#2024
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it's so so sad that the aliens in the original and even the prequel trilogies look so weird and fucked up (which is great) and then newer stuff makes everything so smooth and human-faced. where's the meat greebles and nonsensical snouts
#hm i should make an original post tag#star wars#looking at pictures of gotals to draw one. and so many images i find on wookiepedia try to give them monkey-ish noses#and some even de-greeble them. and for what. let them be fucked up noseless goat-ish aliens.#and it's not just them of course. twi'leks and togrutas look worse and worse with every new live action shit#and pau'ans. the atrocity that was done to the grand inquisitor. augh#no one understands the appeal of a fucked up alien costume anymore </3
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my personal interpretation of pennywaynes is that alfred had to fuck thomas before he was allowed to fuck martha.
#thomas wayne is NOT gonna let some saucy british man fuck his wife until hes tested his stroke game#martha wayne should only get fucked by people who know what theyre doing and thomas knows exactly how she likes it#martha pulls out the strap & does the same for thomas of course. shes gotta see how well alfred takes it before she unleashes her man on him#alfred pennyworth#thomas wayne#martha wayne#pennywaynes#? i guess i should tag the ship so ppl can blacklist it ig
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#the animosity between these two is so palpable it’s suffocating. of course i think they should make out sloppy style#listen i love jack x ianto as much as the next TW girlie. can’t get enough of jack x john’s relationship dynamic either#and i think jack x john x ianto is a god-tier ship (and a personal favorite) and is CRIMINALLY underrated and overlooked#but there is also something about john x ianto specifically#the POSSIBILITIES#they’re haters they’re lovers they’re enemies they’re allies#they’re the jealous type they love (and hate) the same man they desperately need some serious counseling and will never EVER get it#they got paraphilias out the wazoo they are far too emotionally unhealthy to be in a proper D/s#they’re at each other’s throats and they’re down each other’s throats#they set each other on fire and now they can’t get enough of the flames#they will never fully be honest and vulnerable with themselves or each other (except for that flicker of a moment when they are)#the reasons they hate each other become the reasons that they don’t#they are having the fuck nastiest hate sex as we speak#it’s so delicious. i am fascinated by them#i have so many thoughts about them if i genuinely wasn’t shit at putting a story together i would be bombing their AO3 tag w fics#spreading the johnto agenda fo today#torchwood#johnto#john hart#ianto jones#john x ianto#my edit
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have i given you enough of myself, yet?
a little something about people-pleasing
#hahaha i was thinking that i should wait to clean it up before i post it but like? ykw? yolo. fuck it.#his cuts are to mime taking slices from a cake#furthered by the insides looking— well— like cake! though coloured to look like flesh; of course; its only right 😋#carving into yourself and giving it away to feed to other people but you cant keep up with the demand and you collapse upon yourself#helping people.. doing your job! fulfilling your purpose. but it’s unsustainable. you will carve until you hit bone#it does tie into how i think he started his path of corruption#people keep asking and asking for more and more; they want the sweetest parts of you (they want you to lie to them)#u get tired of it!#…can u tell i was feeling a bit socially burnt out yesterday LOL#okay byeee#shadow milk cookie#cookie run kingdom#mystuff#cookie run#crk#cookie run fanart#crk fanart#blueberry milk cookie#YES IM FINALLY GONNA GIVE HIM A PROPER TAG
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hiiiiiii friendly reminder to not go knocking on strangers doors and running away :)) or just doing that at all :) some of us have sheer paranoia that can render us stressed for time long after the action is done :) because you don’t experience consequences doesn’t mean you’re free to go around doing this like a fucking asshole. :). I know most people who’d listen to this don’t go around doing it but I hope that at least one person reconsiders doing this just to look cool in front of their friends. You don’t seem awesome, you just make it clear your an uncaring asshole and nobody will come to you. I hope karma does its thing. :)
#No because my fucking heart sank when some dumb ass kid just approached my home then harshly knocked#They ran away. Of course they did. I’d fucking deal with them should they have not. What cowards.#But fuck. I don’t like when my hands shake to the point of not even being able to properly hold a phone.#I still am thinking about it today#even tho it happened a day ago#paranoia isn’t a fucking fun thing#psychosis#schizoaffective#actually psychotic#schizo spectrum#actually schizospec#schizophrenia#ehhhhh just for the tags I’m unsure if I have schizo but like yk#paranoia#bipolar disorder#venting#mental illness#high school#college#student#dumbasses#schizoposting#reminder
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Decided to try out some new oil brushes with the disaster man
#black leg sanji#ignore the fire cause that shit wasn’t the purpose of this experiment lmao#also the premise behind this scene is fucking ZoSan cause of course it is#basically he got caught in a storm looking for the local lost moss#said moss ended up in a small boat cause he thought they had to dock farther out cause of coral reefs or something#also the reason the moss was out in a storm was cause franky and usopp made him a tracker ring and he went >:(#it’s part of an accidental fake engagement au I’ve been building in my mind#as always writers and other artists feel free to go ham with this prompt if you want#I’ve got too much shit to crochet for the holidays to do shit else rn lmao#oh fuck I should prolly tag#ZoSan#even if most of the ZoSan content is in the tags 😅#tags are for rambling and occasionally being functional#my art#almost forgot that one whoops
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I've debated multiple times doing something like cataloging racist microaggressions I see in the danmei tags and making a post about it. I generally see at least one a day, and I block the worst offenders. But in the end I'm a white USAdian and it's really not my place. I'm sure I don't even catch them all.
It's a real issue and I've seen a lot of anecdotal evidence that it drives Chinese and Chinese diaspora fans out of participating in Westernized Tumblr danmei fandom, and that's utterly unacceptable.
One of the most common ones I see is how people talk about the character names. For example:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/83a93decef0817695f662a5401b5ff92/81c413fe662bc286-27/s540x810/4663262e1db866610558b8a7c6ee4de1d627ed4c.jpg)
[Image ID: screen cap of a text post. It reads: "This all came about when I was looking at SVSSS memes on Ao3 and went like "My friends nor coworkers would get heads or tails of what in the world these alphabet smash assortment mean let alone know that they're referencing Soecific individuals or novels." End ID]
THIS IS A MICROAGGRESSION. For fuck's sake, people, acting like the names are ridiculous, incomprehensible, outside of what "friends and colleagues" could comprehend, is RACIST AS FUCK. And I see people say stuff like this constantly.
"But I only meant I was struggling--" THEN WHY DID YOU ASSUME OTHER PEOPLE WOULD STRUGGLE THE SAME WAY? STILL RACIST
"But I could say that about the abbreviations in any--" BUT YOU SAID IT ABOUT THIS FANDOM SPECIFICALLY AND CONTEXT FUCKING MATTERS AND IN THIS CONTEXT IT'S RACIST.
"But it was on my personal blo--" LOOK IF YOU WANT TO BE RACIST ON YOUR PERSONAL BLOG I CAN'T STOP YOU BUT IF YOU TAG ORIGINAL POSTS INTO MAIN FANDOM TAGS THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WILL SEE YOU AND KNOW YOU ARE RACIST.
The person who posted the above, when I said it was a microaggression, demanded to know how. So, for them and everyone else in this fucking fandoms, I present what any of them could have learned by googling the term. The definition of microaggression:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6efa90ee1608c63140efd4cbdbf8daae/81c413fe662bc286-0e/s540x810/b7530779a30b9f2634dd00447f0f8447f1891a1f.jpg)
(Source)
[Image ID: a dictionary entry for the term "microaggression." It reads: "noun. A comment or action that subtle and often unconsciously or unintentionally expresses a prejudiced attitude toward a member if a marginalized group (such as a racial minority)." End ID]
What that screen cap says about names is literally the textbook definition of a microaggression.
Chinese names are just names. The way Chinese sounds is just the way a language sounds. Cultivation is inherently based in Eastern culture and cannot be completely divorced from that context even for a cute AU. I'm so tired of seeing posts saying things like "MXTX just stole the plot of (insert Western myth/folktale/fable here)". Do yall realize how fucking racist you're being? Do yall realize how fucking racist even I've probably been by accident because I'm also a dumb white USAdian?
I've been holding this post in for like a year, but the person who posted that screen cap, who doubled-down by posting a non-apology to all the MXTX main tags, and who acted like I'd said something insane when I told them it was a microaggression...they're apparently my last fucking straw.
DO BETTER, WHITE WESTERN DANMEI FANDOM. We all need to learn and listen and knock it the fuck off already. Me included.
Please, please listen when people say "check yourself." Seeing this stuff everyday is exhausting even for ME and I'm not even in the marginalized group. Chinese people (including diaspora) who stay in the fandom here despite the constant deluge are strong as fuck and they do not deserve this and, as a white person, I'm so so sorry white people are like this.
#unforth rambles#drama#i should not post this#i dont want the drama#but ive seen so many posts by chinese fans ignored#maybe theyll listen to a white person which of course listening to me and not them is itself another fucking microaggression#god im so sorry#ive been debating tagging the fandoms but i dont think i can face the potential consequences#im so tired#but feel free to reblog it i guess
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Dean shows up to Stanford unannounced and the little sister who left home a few years ago is now a not-so-little brother. Dean reacts badly. Of course he does. When Sam says "I was never your sister" Dean hears "I was never YOURS". Because if he got this fundamental thing wrong about Sam for all these years, it means he never really knew Sam the way he thought he did. As far as he's concerned he had Sammy memorized, every aspect of her personality noted down in his brain like a private religion, and Sam's telling him that all of that was wrong. He's losing Sam. He's losing the idea that he ever had Sam. It's all about ownership, his little sister belonging to him, and now he's having that essential part of his world challenged. Dean's response is denial - "this is a phase, she's just confused". Until eventually he has to reconcile the Samantha he knew with this Samuel who's come into his own as a man. He has to recognize that he did know Sam - because despite this missing piece being put into place, Sam is still Sam. And he has to realize that if he wants to have (or frankly, own) Sammy in the future he has to adjust. If he doesn't get his head out of his ass he'll lose him forever.
#i love trans Sam fics but it bugs me when Dean embraces it or just shrugs it off like no biggie#Dean is possessive as fuck and probably knows little to nothing about trans people#of course he still loves Sam#but the idea that he'd be chill and woke about the whole thing?#in my opinion no way in hell#i think Dean would take it SO personally#you're MY little sister and I'M the one that picks your gender!!#lmao half joking#but yeah he'd take it as an affront to his very being and to everything he's ever been and done for Sam#that's my trans AU headcanon#the same goes for transfem Sam too btw#i just went with transmasc because I'M transmasc and have a soft spot for it#starting to think i should put in the effort and actually WRITE this fic#but my number one hobby is daydreaming and procrastination so#no promises lol#supernatural#sam winchester#dean winchester#gencest#trans sam winchester#why are my tags so long oops
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desmond: look, this whole situation has made my paranoia so much worse, which is exactly why i trust you so much. because my brain is going to run with the idea that you’re secretly working against me if i entertain that thought at all, so i can’t give it an inch.
lucy: 😬
#oh actually that’s awful ouguhhuh aughuh#desmond confiding in lucy that he trusts her. and that he trusts her explictly because his instincts are fucked and are telling him that she#(and rebecca and shaun) are all abstergo set-ups that’ll turn on him and take him back once he’s been used up#and he *knows* his brain is lying to him about that. so he trusts her.#and the entire time lucy is trying to figure out a way to. she can’t tell desmond what she’s done. she can’t.#but what if she just… encourages his paranoia. a little. enough that he won’t trust her as much. enough that maybe he can get away from her#before she brings abstergo down on them. she can’t save him but maybe he can save himself.#of course that doesn’t work. because the more desmond thinks his brain is being unreasonably paranoid the more he trusts lucy to be his#anchor to reality here. which isn’t a great idea! for either of them!!#i should have an ac tag
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racism in star wars will have wikis saying shit like "this species that is inspired on a real life non-white people is just too stupid to use the Force"
#hm i should make an original post tag#yes this is about tuskens#they 'lack mental capacity' to be jedi. according to some writer#which is fucking ridiculous#they have enough mental capacity to have two languages (spoken tusken and tusken sign language)#(they are usually seen being used together but they can be used independently)#just because they're nomadic and hostile to colonizers doesn't mean they're stupid. or lack the nuance to understand good and evil.#in me opinion there may not be any tusken jedi but for the same reason there's no bardottan jedi - they have their own force culture#they are hostile to outsiders and defensive of their people‚ of course they wouldn't let some foreign order take their children away#i think a force-sensitive tusken would be highly regarded in their tribe. being one with the universe is a special privilege.
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anyone else feeling fundamentally incapable of adjusting to society. also just discovered there's a 30 tag limit which i can't believe i've never hit before
#like it was one thing when i was in high school and college like wasn't socialized as a child due to not receiving schooling and growing up#sda blah blah whatever but like i'm almost 27 and i am barely functioning lol like i feel like i'm struggling to have a normal conversation#even more than i used to and i think my speech cadence is noticably off which i don't think it always has been#some of it is definitely from chronic exhaustion from having to get up too early and the stress of having a frequently panic inducing boss#but like. come on now. i can't even drive despite finally having a license because i'm too scared/distractible/poor reaction time#over a dozen antidepressants have not worked. adderall is not working great either#i'm SO much dumber than i used to be and it's driving me quite literally insane#i don't even think it's from getting covid in july because i was noticing it before although it definitely became way more noticeable after#i got this job. i've never been this bad at a job in my life and it's something anyone who knows me would assume i'd be good at#it's embarrassing. i cannot fucking remember anything i struggle to do the most basic of arithmetic to fill prescriptions i make the same#silly mistakes multiple times i am constantly asking stupid questions and still somehow fucking up all the time#it's not as bad as it was a couple months ago and frankly i'm shocked i haven't gotten fired i keep thinking that's going to happen#of course i wanted to quit this job four months ago but now i'm at like a sunk cost fallacy point unfortunately#this is obviously not like any kind of career position for many reasons but i don't know what else to do unless i move across the country#again. i'm not even qualified for anything besides animal related things and summer camp which are fine obviously but not great if you want#things like benefits or paid leave or not to get burned out as hell lmao#i don't even feel like i could do any customer service jobs because i literally struggle to put a coherent sentence together on the spot#everything is so slow. soooo slow i'm literally losing my mind which is catastrophic because my mind is all i've ever had going for me#and i'm having kind of a horrible existence lately which is exacerbating all my problems except the problems make it mostly impossible to d#anything to fix it. ok going out and doing some fun stuff for a day makes me feel better that's great. except then i need a day after that#to recover from doing things the previous day. so the only feasible day for doing things would be saturday. except on saturdays i'm#recovering from working. i literally only work 4 days and barely over 30 hours it's Not that crazy. i mean the boss is crazy and the job ca#also be crazy obviously but 30 hours a week is minimal compared to other work schedules i've maintained before#anyway but the most i can do after work is go to the store if i need to but i almost never have energy for anything fun#and the fucking bus doesn't run on sundays and walking miles to get literally anywhere takes a lot of energy i don't have#i'm about to move next weekend and i'm dreading it because it's going to be so much work and i'm so fucking tired#and i don't have any friends to help me with cleaning i might be able to get help moving my stuff but i'm not even confident about that#i might have to rent a uhaul but i would honestly rather pay somebody to help because i'm that scared of driving even for one 30 min trip#whatever....sorry i had to feel bad for myself in the tumblr dot edu tags again i'm not in therapy rn#(<- guy who should be in therapy)
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my teacher for weather and climate gave us a main textbook which is the one we reference and need to read throughout the course and then three EXTRA optional textbooks for supplemental learning, with varying levels of technicality for those interested, and in the links she provided every single one was available online for free (in the creative commons sense, not the piracy sense, since obv that could get a teacher in trouble) and i could kiss her on the mouth
#ramblings#my schedule hasnt settled yet and alas i dont think im gonna be able to keep this class this semester at least#but until then im still in the class and im ztealing every bit of knowledge i can#actually shes the second prof this semester who made their course text something free online#which is not a thing any of my teachers have ever done before?? my broke ass appreciates#im really bummed about needed to wait for this class because GEOGRAPHY. HYDROLOGY#also the geography department has a SANDBOX in the lab/study room???#and it has like. a progector over it which displays digital topographical contour lines????#and im INSANE about it. 10 year olf me eat your heart out#HOW DOES THE LIGHT KNOW THE ELEVATION#also if you hold your hand above the sand in the light it becomes a “cloud”#and digital water will pour down the hills and stuff its so fucking cool#and the lab tech straight up was like “theres no real reason for this thing its mostly for stress relief”#“if you want to come in here and literally just play with sand for and hour you absolutely can” he said#and i was like Bet#starting to wonder if i should make a tag specifically cor when im talking about my school stuff#lucien goes to school#there we go
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Forgive me, forgive me. I ask, I beg, I pray, but it never comes.
You know I find it incredibly bewildering to see just how much kalki reflects myself in him like YEAH Duh of course he does, he’s my little guy it’s like his full time job. But at the same time he is a fully functional facet of my being and he is at the mercy of my whimsies, and whatever he discovers in his arduous journey of self realisation is ultimately a reflection of what I discover in the real world. It’s also incredibly funny because ffxiv lore for dark knights is really baked into the idea of (re)discovering yourself amongst the bloodshed and continuing to live and love and thrive despite the world working against us. who would have thought such a raw message could come from an mmorpg side quest about edgy emo boys of all places
also adamantite armour of fending i would lay down my LIFE for u
variant + phone bg version + ID below the cut
tch as if you guys are actually going to use artwork of my little guy as your phone background. i know. how dumb. let a girl dream. i should make an alternate version but it's of Fray and Myste
[START ID: A picture with a red background focusing on the character's bust that is placed to the left of the image's centre. He is coloured with a dark blue overlay, contrasting with the red background. He has brown skin, long black hair that falls over his shoulders, and is wearing blue and gold armour and earrings. He is looking at the viewer, right eye dark brown and the left an glowing unnatural red, with an expression that looks determined and angry and yet bitter and forlorn. In the foreground and on the right side of the piece, a miniature version of the character stands coloured in a light blue overlay and wearing the same blue and gold armour, looking as if he is glowing. He is facing towards the left of the piece, or perhaps at the character bust, his expression unreadable. Above the miniature character's head is the symbol representing the FFXIV dark knight, coloured in gold. END ID.]
#the burst of creativity that shot through me is indescribable. i can only hope this is a sign that i am FINALLY out of art block#but OF COURSE my creativity comes back right when gamsat is around the corner. it's always a fucking exam. i fucking hate myself#maybe this piece is supposed to be vent art at how I CANNOT MANAGE MY SHIT AND I AM JUST. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT. NOT DOING THINGS RIGHT !!#and i tell myself it's fine but maybe it's NOT fine? i told myself i'd work on it but nothing is getting worked on#nothing productive at all. not even for uni nor for myself. nothing is happening at all. it's just going through the days#waking up. wishing i'd slept more. stare at my laptop for hours. youtube. watch 10mins of lectures. then a nap. then the laptop. then sleep#but i dont and it pisses me off because nothing is working. i'm like if linguini lost his rat and i'm staring at the kitchen catching fire#maybe go to class if it's on for that day. scrambling notes together. pretending i DO have my shit together#i COULD put out the fire. but i'm not. i could and i can but im not. the extinguisher is in my hand. fire's not going out. i'm still here.#maybe. maybe that's why drk resonates with me so much. at the end of the day. maybe i am just a stupid bastard#-who can't get their act together. who actively shoots themselves in the foot and bleeds all over the place trying to make something happen#only this time- this time the perpetrator isn't someone i can point at and demand answers from. it's me hi i'm the problem it's me#and i can- i SHOULD find a way to make this all work. to make this whole Living My Life business work. but the extinguisher's in my hand#wow okay that was really heavy anyway uhhhhh TAGS TAGS TAGS TAGSSSSS#ffxiv#ff14#ffxivwol#ffxiv wol kalki#ffxiv dark knight#artoftheagni#and the fire keeps going#tw eyestrain#cw bright colors#idk the red is really bright and it;s nice for my eyes but idk for anyone else
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This isnt new or original at all but i gotta say some of my favorite characters are always those absolutely awful charismatic bastard villians who in fiction I enjoy but if I met in real live I would punt into the stars. Bonus points when they get their inevitable and extremely satisfying comeuppance and get their ass handed to them
#bill cipher#william afton#dr robotnik#good trio of these kinda guys#there are of course more#and this isnt like#anything new or original#as i said#but i think it should be reiterated#especially in an era when like people really struggle understanding that liking and enjoying a villain and depicting them as fun or likeable#does not in fact mean that you support anything that they are about#or that you wouldnt either punt them into oblivion or just quietly skulk away#idk its wild to me ive seen so many people getting angry about people liking bad characters#and obviously there are nuances and such but again we must recall fictional characters arent real#but yeah characters like these are like fucked up barbie dolls to me#fun to play with and pose and dress up and also somehow quite satisfying to rip their head off or watch their head get ripped off#i think the joker could also qualify but hes more dicey bc people cannot be normal about him#i think joker fanboys might be why this opposition to people enjoying villains comes from#welcome back to posts where an essay is hidden among my tags#i like the format it lets me ramble#uhh there are definitely more guys in here#the joker#and dont get me wrong i dislike certain villians too and it sometimes squicks me out to see people being so obessed with them even healthily#but like i just keep it to myself cause thats a me thing#belos definitely fits into this but only sometimes for me#sometimes i just get irritated seeing him but again#me problem therefore keep it to myself#this is so chronically online but yeah#jekyll and hyde#victor frankenstein
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