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eddiemunsonsmum · 25 days ago

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Recollection | Eddie Munson

Eddie Munson x Original Female Character

Summary: Eddie and Karmen are ambushed outside her house by an old friend that wants to chat about her past. Eddie learns some things he didn't know about Karmen's life and she feels obliged to explain to him in greater detail even though she is worried he will see her differently afterwards.

Tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD, Flashbacks, Backstory, Lore, Exposition Dump, Sexist old men, (very different to sexy old men. None of those sorry.), Murder, Crime, Drugs/Drug Crime References, Fluff, Joking, Banter, Bad Puns, Dialogue Heavy.

Words: 12.9k

A/N: This story sits somewhere between Labels and Discrepancy but should be able to be read as a standalone!

Being upfront with the fact that this story is exposition heavy. We learn more about Karmen's background here than we knew previously. Hopefully it helps readers to understand a bit more about who she is and why. More BIG notes at the end.

“You always pick what we watch first.” Karmen grumbled half heartedly as she turned her 70s sedan onto her street. The drag of loose rocks under the tires made her vision vibrate as she almost squinted to try and see Eddie’s expression better in her periphery.

“Excuse me?” He asked with a hand to his chest. “I…” He began dramatically, as they pulled into her driveway. “Don’t… Have an argument for that.” He concluded, dropping his hand back to his lap and looking over to her with a sly smile as she pulled on the parking brake. “But I don’t want to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ first.” He added quickly. “Any of the others.” He said as he held up the plastic bag that housed their weekend entertainment. “Any of them. Ghostbusters is in here!”

“It’s a feel good movie Eddie.” Karmen argued with a shrug. “Don’t you want me to feel good?” She asked with a pout as he let his head fall back against the seat.

“Jesus Christ.” He mumbled to himself as she laughed at his exasperation. Unclipping her seatbelt and slipping from the car as Eddie sat for a second and tried to decide if he wanted to fall for that line or not.

It was a good argument.

“Ugh fineeee.” He sighed, as he stepped out of the car. Exaggerating the word as he feigned defeat.

The car door thumped shut under his palm and he narrowed his eyes at her playfully from across the roof.

“But I’m not doing the dance with you after. We’re watching Terminator.” He said seriously, rounding the vehicle as Karmen rolled her eyes and waited for him to take her hand. She’d learnt better in the last few months than to try and walk anywhere without his hand in hers.

“There’s pretty much no risk of me wanting to do the dance.” She said as he stepped in front of her and pulled her along behind him. “It’s really hard.” She added, softer.

Implying that she had already tried it.

The plastic of the bag full of tapes crinkled as Eddie swung it by his other side excitedly.

“Yeah, definitely Terminator first.” He continued, not listening. “And Indiana Jones can wait until tomorrow if you feel good enough to let me into your Temple of Doom.” He grinned as she made a disgusted noise in response.

“After Footloose.” She corrected firmly. “We’ll see. Let me at least get inside and kick off my Sunday shoes first.” She quipped, poking out her tongue at him as they headed towards her front steps.

“Aww, don’t cut me loose?” Eddie begged sarcastically, bringing the hand holding the bag to his chest and walking backwards towards the house so he could give her his saddest eyes.

“Surprised you got that.” Karmen admitted, unphased by his puppy dog stare.

“I listen to the radio.” Eddie shrugged. “And you insist on playing it every time we listen to music.”

“It was an expensive record.” She justified, shrugging back.

“Karmen!” A voice cut through the air suddenly, breaking them from their conversation before he could reply and turning their heads across the street.

An old man with a plump beer gut and a grey beard waved at them from the doorstep of her friend John’s house.

Eddie recognized him vaguely from the night he’d met Karmen.

Santa Claus had fallen on hard times and was now making his way across the front yard towards the street that divided Karmen and John’s properties.

Eddie looked between the man and Karmen, attention caught by her long groan.

“Oh God.” She ground out through her fake smile. “It’s Uncle.” She sighed, holding up a hand and giving him a quick wave. “Come on let’s go inside.” She said hurriedly, grabbing Eddie’s hand and trying to pull him up the front steps to the porch.

He whirled on the spot, trying to follow her lead but the bag holding their tapes got caught on the bannister. The old, splintered wood catching on the plastic and ripping a sizeable hole that had Family Video tapes spilling out onto the garden path and into the bushes.

Karmen grumbled in exasperation as Eddie stopped behind her and backtracked. Looking up at her apologetically as he bent down to pick them up and Uncle across the street let out a loud belly laugh at their failed escape attempt.

Eddie had done the right thing. There was no way they could have kept walking after that. Feigning not only that they didn’t hear him but that they just didn’t notice the broken bag and missing entertainment.

They were trapped.

Uncle never called her or dropped in for a visit without an agenda. The only time he ever showed his face to any of them was when he wanted something or had an opinion to give.

The fact that he had even seen her walking into her house meant that he had been lying in wait already. That even if they hadn’t missed their window to escape, he would have knocked on her door thirty seconds later anyway and he was not one to skirt around the fact that he knew what she did.

Eddie finished stacking the tapes on the bottom step beside Karmen’s feet and held his hand out for her to take, helping her down and grimacing as Uncle continued his slow shuffle towards the opposite sidewalk.

“Why do you call him Uncle?” He asked with a sigh. Resigning himself as she just had to potentially being stuck outside for hours.

“I don’t know his real name.” She answered, fake smile still on her lips. “He’s always just been Uncle. But he says before he was known as that, everyone called him Nephew.”

Eddie snorted in response. His shoulders shook as he laughed at the bad joke while Karmen’s shook with a fake cry as she watched the old man hobble ever closer to the sidewalk and stop to wait for a car before he could cross

“I swear to God Edide, if we’re out here more than 5 minutes, The Terminator will be the only one getting his hardware checked tonight.” She hissed from the corner of her mouth.

Eddie audibly scoffed, impressed by the joke but not wanting to show it. He hadn’t meant to break the bag. But he understood her frustration nonetheless.

There were days where he white knuckled it all the way home to use his own bathroom simply because Sam the friendly janitor was in the same building on his way to the car. Lovely man, down to Earth and very funny. But he could talk for hours without taking a breath and Eddie only had so many Oohs and Ahhs he could give about someone else’s Grandkids before it felt weird.

“You’d better fake a medical emergency three minutes in.” Karmen added when Eddie didn’t reply. “Nothing serious though or he’ll insist on watching over my house for me while I’m with you in the hospital. The man is a vulture.”

“He can’t be that bad.” Eddie whispered back just for fun. He was already in trouble, might as well play devil's advocate. “How often do you get to have a chat with your dear old Uncle? Besides, he might not be around much longer judging by how long it’s taken him to get to this side of the street.” He murmured.

Karmen huffed a laugh. Eyes narrowing as they trailed over the hunched figure still gasping for breath inches from her lawn.

“He’s not even my Uncle.” She hissed back, amused by the sight as he straightened up and started on the last few steps to where they were standing.

The man she’d only ever known as Uncle was not in any way, shape or form a threat to anything besides an unsuspecting refrigerator or unguarded dessert. But through years of casual conversation thrown around by adults when they thought the kid’s weren't listening, she’d gleaned that perhaps he was more than the sad old fart he was now, in his heyday.

Karmen had a hunch that she’d never know his real name because if he let it slip out the D.E.A would be on his doorstep in an instance. Instead of using an alias to give himself a buffer, the idiot had committed his crimes using his real name. Dooming himself to simply be Uncle for the rest of his life because he was too silly to come up with a better pseudonym that sounded real.

Not that they had to sound real. She supposed as she thought of her friend’s Father, Dutch Van der Linde and the fact that his name was actually Daniel Something.

Definitely not Van der Linde.

Dutch was a much better crime boss sounding name. Dutch had been to prison briefly for drug trafficking. But Daniel… Well he was just a nice old man that hosted family get togethers on the ranch he shared with his oldest and dearest friend, Hosea.

His real name, she assumed. Considering he was a prosperous Lawyer and the reason Dutch was free to continue committing drug crimes throughout Indiana.

Also, he was actually Dutch’s husband.

“Jesus Christ, what’s wrong with you young people?” Uncle asked with a hearty laugh. “Don’t got legs? How about meeting me halfway?” He jested. Karmen’s stomach dropped as he leaned in and wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her into an unsolicited hug that lingered just a little too long for anyone’s comfort.

Eddie screwed up his nose in the background. Instant regret at not just dropping the tapes and running seeping in as he watched the man squeeze her a little tighter before letting go.

They were both surprised when he didn’t kiss her on the cheek. Instead pulling away and holding out his hand for Eddie to shake.

The younger man schooled his features quickly when he realized the focus was on him, taking the hand and nodding in greeting.

“Mooching off John now?” Karmen asked frankly, annoyance clearly in her tone as the older man turned back to her. She ignored Eddie’s surprised expression on the edge of her vision. Knowing he’d never seen her be outright rude to anyone like that before and not really caring in the moment as she tried to get the conversation over with as fast as possible. “Last I heard, Sadie kicked you out to make room for the baby.”

“Ohhh, come off it now.” The older man replied, waving his hand in front of himself. He didn’t seem offended in the slightest. Eddie couldn’t tell if he was ignoring her hostility or genuinely didn’t hear it. He couldn’t help but think he would have shriveled up and died already if she’d ever spoken to him like that.

“You know I got the lumbago and It’s getting harder to care for myself.” Uncle said dramatically.

Karmen hummed flatly in response.

“It’s terminal you know?” He asked seriously when she didn’t seem concerned.

Eddie narrowed his eyes at the statement. He didn’t know what lumbago was but he was willing to bet it was not at all serious. Especially considering the way Karmen barely held back the roll of her eyes at the words.

“Anyway an old man’s gotta eat somewhere and I figure Abigail makes the better meals outta the two of you.”

Karmen gasped at that, her mouth falling open as she scoffed at him. It was a well established fact that John’s wife Abigail was not a chef. Her meals were edible and that was about the extent of the sincere compliments she’d ever afforded her for them.

If Abi actually tried, Karmen would feel bad for the joke. But the fact that she was so brazen about not giving a fuck if food tasted good while insisting on almost weekly dinner parties made her feel justified in the contempt she held for the other woman’s cooking when it was so often compared to her own by the older crowd.

Because they were both women. Not because the quality was anything alike.

The blatant sexism made her blood boil. She was already half done with the conversation and it had barely started.

“You take that back Old Man or I’ll see to it that you never eat another meal again.” She retorted through a fake laugh.

Regardless of her own feelings she still felt compelled by the way she was raised to make him comfortable.

Despite her own discomfort.

Uncle cackled at the rise he had seemingly got out of her. He slapped her on the arm in a jovial manner.

Eddie took a protective step closer. The action, also a product of how he was raised. His brain subconsciously taking in every small change in her demeanor and his body reacting without deliberate thought to make her feel more comfortable in any way he could.

He had clocked her flinch even if Uncle was oblivious to it.

“Alright, alright.” He conceded, hands up in mock surrender. “We both know you’re the better cook but I wouldn’t dare turn up on your doorstep asking for a feed.” He admitted, turning to Eddie with a serious expression and pointing towards Karmen with one very brave finger. “She ain’t generous is she?” He complained half-heartedly as Eddie frowned at the statement.

He shuffled awkwardly under the realization that the older man was expecting him to agree.

To join in on the joke.

He’d never known Karmen to be anything but kind and generous… To those that deserved it.

He still wondered sometimes how he’d managed to fall into that category.

“Anyway!” The older man exclaimed suddenly when Eddie didn’t respond. Not seeming to notice the way both of their shoulders drooped as he continued. “I’ve been spending a lot of time out at that new sports bar on the edge of town and…” He paused, leaning in conspiratorially. “I got a tip for ya. Big one.” He said excitedly.

Eddie was confused by the words. Not really understanding what he meant but definitely noticing the way Karmen’s face fell at Uncle’s admission. Her friendly mask was completely gone now, her eyes turning sharp as she answered.

“Uncle.” She said simply, a warning in her tone. But the older man didn’t seem phased, continuing as if nothing had happened by pointing at Eddie.

“Your boy’s one of Dutch’s ain’t he?” He asked, continuing without a confirmation as Karmen stonewalled him. She wasn’t doing this right now. He’d already pissed her off in the first few sentences and she’d let it go in case he actually had something important to say. Some news to give about one of her friends or maybe a reason why he was staying with John and John himself hadn’t mentioned it.

But instead he had ambled his dumb ass across the street to talk to her about something she hadn’t been a part of for a very long time. Something she had made clear time and time again that she was no longer interested in and yet the man brought it up every time he saw her like he didn’t know and every time she reminded him it was brand new information to him.

At this point she couldn’t tell if he did it on purpose or if the drink really have fucked his brain up to the point that he couldn’t remember like he used to.

“Yeah.. Yeah I remember you. Brought in by our dear Sean weren’t ya’?” The old man chuckled, pointing his liver spotted hand at Eddie’s face now.

Eddie didn't reply again, not sure how the hell Uncle could possibly remember him. The man had been blind as a bat when Eddie had arrived at the party where he’d met Karmen. He had only continued to drink throughout the night and passed out in his chair. Unceremoniously slumping onto the floor and snoring up a storm. Which, if Eddie was honest, was the only reason he remembered him.

It was hard to forget something like that when no one else acted like it was unusual at the time.

“Uncle.” Karmen repeated, tone firm. “You know I’m not interested anymore. I’ve told you this a thousand times and I won’t have the conversation again.” She replied tiredly. Finally done with the interaction when he tried to drag Eddie into it.

“Oh come now-” Uncle began but was cut off before he could finish his thought.

“Go and tell someone else your tip! Eddie and I don’t want it!” She snapped suddenly. Eddie’s mouth fell open in surprise as she nodded at him and then flicked her head towards the house in a gesture meant to instruct him to follow her. “We don’t want to hear it.” She affirmed, softer this time. “Have a nice day Uncle.”

The old man watched as she turned to walk away. Taking Eddie’s hand as she had done earlier and barely making it a step before he chose to speak again.

“You’re not still sour are you?” He asked simply.

The wind knocked out of her lungs at the question coupled with the fact that when she stopped dead, Eddie ran into her back as he rushed to follow.

His hands shot out to grab at her arms, stabilizing her and stopping her from falling forwards as she stood in place for a long second.

Thinking.

Eddie let go of her slowly and watched as she turned back to the older man with the most lethal look on her face that he had ever seen.

It wasn’t even directed at him and he wanted to shrivel up and die.

“Sour?” She asked, barely above a whisper. Taking the bait as well as a calming breath as she watched the old man nod confidently at her question. “Sour?” She asked again. This time matching his nodding and chuckling with him as she gave the buffoon one more chance to tell her he was joking.

He didn’t take it.

Her face fell. Tongue darting out to lick at her lips as she leaned in close and raised her brows at him in a way that made Eddie feel sick.

“Would you ask John if he was still sour?” She asked quietly. “Arthur?” She questioned further. “Dutch or…” She paused, shaking her head as the old man ignored the warning in her tone for the second time.

Oh shit.

Eddie thought to himself as Uncle shrugged casually in response.

“Then don’t ask me.” Karmen said simply. A relatively amicable reaction considering the unbridled rage she felt inside at the implication that she just felt sour. That she was overreacting when the subject matter was a past event so personal to her that she hadn’t even broached the subject with Eddie yet.

Too raw for her to speak about and yet Uncle threw the topic around as casually as he would ask about the weather.

“It’s been years. You need to let it go at some point.” The old bat said with a shrug.

Karmen blinked at him repeatedly as she pursed her lips. His lead paint stare boring into her soul as she responded.

“Let it go?” She asked dangerously. “Let it go?” She asked again, tone dripping with condescension and utter disbelief.

Eddie watched Uncle ignore her anger so blatantly. Like she wasn’t considered a threat to him.

He would never. Could never. Even if he wanted to.

He loved the woman but when she was mad she had a dangerous glint in her eyes that made his balls want to reascend.

He had been feeling uneasy since the ‘friendly banter’ took a turn. Now he was on high alert. He thought he’d seen her angry in the past. But he’d never seen her get angry like this before.

Something was really wrong here.

He was missing context.

She’d walked a few paces away from him when she’d come up on Uncle fast. He closed the distance between them quickly. Placing a hand on her back, intending to tell her it was time to go inside but Uncle spoke again before he could.

“You were the best go-between Dutch ever had.” He stated frankly, as if that was a compliment. “Still uses you as an example you know? Raves about how Miss Karmen would get the job done.”

Karmen visibly bristled at the way he said her name.

She was not Miss Karmen. She was just Karmen. Kam for short because Karmie took too long and was hard for kids to say.

But Miss Karmen had sparked a memory in Eddie’s head. Reminding him of when she had said it to him.

He had been surprised to learn she’d stretched the truth on the night they met. He’d ask if she worked for Dutch and she’d replied ‘Hell no. I work for John’

While technically not a lie as at the time she wasn’t working under Dutch, it wasn’t entirely truthful either as she had later revealed that she used to.

She had worked for him while she was putting herself through College.

She’d made a comment in the first few weeks he’d known her about Eddie not needing to deal drugs. How he could get by without the extra income if she helped him find better work. He didn’t need to meet with Dutch and find a new supplier. She’d even offered to convince John to hire him in some capacity which in retrospect was very sweet.

Especially considering that he had laughed about it. Accusing her of being a goody-two-shoes and teasing her about being embarrassed to be seen with the ‘Town Drug Dealer’.

Again, reviewing the interaction, Eddie felt gross about it. He had prickled at the inference that she didn’t approve and his gut reaction was playful mocking to keep the bitter feelings of being critiqued at bay.

She had taken it well though. Clarifying that she wasn’t judging him and explaining that she was no better when she was his age.

She had worked in the drug trade straight out of High School to earn her cash. She was paid a percent of each deal she brokered.

But even though she was never caught out by the police, it had ended badly.

She hadn’t elaborated and he hadn’t asked. Sensing that perhaps the topic was a bit heavy for the earlier stages of their relationship. But he had understood a little better why she hadn’t immediately set up a meeting with Dutch for him after the night they met.

Because she cared.

From what he could gather after meeting the man, she had also lied about Dutch’s criminal involvement. But that one, he understood immediately. If they went around telling everyone random man that they had a drink with about the kind of things Dutch was involved in…

Well he would still be in Prison.

Like Rick.

Who as it turns out was encroaching on Dutch’s territory with his little backyard business. Eddie liked Rick as a person but he had no loyalty to him as a supplier. He was surprised to learn that he had been arrested in the first place.

Jim Hopper, the Chief of Hawkins PD was a regular customer of Eddie’s and he wasn’t stupid even though he played it sometimes. He knew where Eddie got his weed. He wasn’t a stranger to Rick’s waterfront abode.

Eddie had suspected that someone a lot more powerful than Hopper was actually pulling the strings behind the scenes on the small town Indiana drug trade.

Turns out he was right. Not only was Dutch the mastermind behind Rick’s arrest but his ‘best friend’ Hosea was the lawyer that had sent Rick away.

There had been a lot of revelations early on in his relationship with Karmen. A lot of backstory in his own life that he otherwise would not have known about.

So the lingering question about what had happened in Karmen’s life that had made her want to quit, had left his mind quite quickly if he was honest.

He’d pretty much forgotten about it by this point. It had only been brought up that one time and she seemed a far cry from someone that was playing the criminal game these days so he hadn’t been reminded of it again.

He supposed he’d always assumed that if how that part of her life came to a close was important, she’d tell him when she was ready. It wasn’t his place to pry. Lord knows he had his share of ‘it ended badly’ stories that he wasn’t quite ready to tell yet either.

“I don’t do that anymore!” Karmen shouted, taking a step away from Eddie’s hand and pointing her finger in the old man’s face. “I’m just some dumb girl that barely understands the game and makes bad decisions.” She growled. “Isn’t that what they said at the funeral?” She asked rhetorically.

Funeral?

Eddie asked himself, unable to help the raise of his brow at the word. His curiosity piqued.

Maybe it had ended a little more badly than most of his stories…

Uncle cocked his head in a somewhat sage manner as his eyes flicked between hers. A knowing frown, further wrinkling his older features as he stared her down with the air of someone that had seen it all before.

“Them people would complain about a cheque for a million dollars if it were too heavy. Don’t listen to ’em.” He said with a dismissive wave. “It weren’t your fault and Dutch had never blamed ‘ya.”

His tone was calm and the words were uncomplicated. A statement from a wise man that simply didn’t care about whatever it was that Karmen was so upset about. A man that didn’t give a shit about maintaining interpersonal relationships beyond what they could give him.

“It was my fault!” Karmen shouted. Eddie jolted while Uncle didn’t blink. Her tone was harsh and biting. It surprised him but Uncle seemed to be expecting it. “It was my bad judgment. It was my fault!” She reiterated, a sharpened fingernail less than an inch from a flushed drinker’s nose.

“Davey made his own choices.” Uncle said calmly, still unfazed by her demeanor. “He was an adult. You-”

“Killed him?” Karmen spat, forcing out the words and cutting him off with more venom than Eddie had ever heard in her tone before. His eyes widening at the statement.

The words hung in the air. Eddie’s stomach suddenly felt as though it was full of lead at the implication. His eyes roaming over what he could see of her face and taking in her pinched features. The sharpness of her eyes was contrasted so crisply by the tears welling in them. The purse of her lips. Flared nostrils that were loudly huffing in calming breaths in the sudden quiet of the street.

They needed to get away from this man.

“Hey-” He began as he reached for her again. His hand brushed her shoulder as she lurched even closer to the older man. Continuing to let out her feelings as Eddie watched helplessly from the sidelines.

“Davey will be dead forever!” She cried, the crack in her voice tugging at Eddie’s heart. He’d never heard her cry before. Not properly. “So I will. Keep on this. Forever.” She said firmly, breaking her last statement into fragmented sentences as she enunciated her point.

She stood between the two men dauntlessly. Even Uncle towered over her although he was a lot shorter than Eddie. But suddenly it didn’t seem that way, with Karmen holding herself so confidently. Chest to chest with the older man and staring him down as Eddie found himself frozen to the spot.

To his continued surprise, the older man’s eyes softened significantly. A melancholy sort of smile pulling at his lips.

It made him feel sick.

“I miss him too.” He said suddenly. Nodding in understanding as Karmen’s lip began to tremble and she shook her head at the words, jaw set as she continued to breath heavy breaths in the small space between them.

She blinked at him, swallowing thickly before letting the air out of her lungs in one, long, shaky breath. Deflating along with it.

“No.” She whispered. “You don’t get to say that. You don’t get to just… Just turn up here and try and drag me back into something I don’t want any part of and then just…” She paused. “Talk about him like you loved him.” She hissed. “Like you cared.”

Her hands were clenched in fists by her side as she let out a growl of frustration. Anger and sadness boiled over as she finally turned away from the old man and looked up at Eddie with wet eyes.

He was taken aback by the unveiled sadness he saw in them.

Grief.

He knew it too well.

She stepped towards him, collapsing into his arms. He caught her as she fell against him, wrapping his arms tight around her and holding her to his chest as she let forth a broken sob that made him want to fight every demon she’d ever dealt with hand to hand.

There was a dense silence between the three of them as Karmen shook in his embrace. Pressing her face into his pecs and sniffing softly as she tried so hard to pretend like she wasn’t crying.

Uncle moved first, placing a heavy hand on her shoulder. Eddie held firm against every urge in his body telling him to jerk her out of his reach. To turn away and pull her with him so that the other man couldn’t touch her.

But he didn’t want to hurt her and the speed at which he would have had to move certainly would have done so.

So instead he snarled quietly as the old man gave her shoulder a squeeze. Glaring daggers as Uncle looked pensive for a moment before taking in the dangerous expression on Eddie’s face.

“Probably best I don’t give ya’ the tip.” He chuckled awkwardly. Eddie had forgotten all about it. The reminder frustrated him as the other man continued. “Nothing personal.” He added, gesturing with his head to Karmen and cringing as he tugged on the collar of his shirt in an exaggerated manner.

Eddie further narrowed his eyes at the older man. The inference that she was being dramatic in this moment almost agitated him to the point of violence.

Karmen wasn’t a dramatic person in everyday life. She liked to play around but she didn’t blow shit out of proportion for no reason. She didn’t start fights out of nothing and she certainly didn’t burst into tears out of the blue.

“You should go.” Eddie said tersely as he stared pointedly at the older man. Uncle nodded in understanding. Wisely removing his hand from Karmen’s shoulder as Eddie clenched his jaw, teeth squeaking under the pressure.

“Sorry Kam.” He sighed, actually sounding sincere. “Didn’t mean to upset ya.”

Karmen peeled a hand away from Eddie’s body. Waving the old man off without moving her face from her Love’s chest. Her hand coming back to grasp him for purchase as Eddie continued to hold her to him protectively.

She was still catering to him and she hated it. But she couldn’t stop. Not wanting to seem even ruder than she already had in front of Eddie. Completely unaware from her place in his chest that the man holding her was one word away from jumping the old man and pushing him into traffic.

Eddie stared at Uncle over the top of Karmen’s head, nodding towards John’s house in a final warning and watching as he finally heeded it and took his leave. He hobbled back toward the road. Stopping at the edge of the sidewalk, still comically close to them as he waited again for a car to pass.

Eddie closed his eyes, pursing his lips and holding back the urge to shout before the road became clear and the man scurried across it like a rat.

He couldn’t help but feel as though the other man did mean to upset her and he couldn’t understand why.

In the name of tough love? What was the point?

Was he really so senile that he’d forgotten she was out of the game? Had he really wanted to give her a tip or was his intention to stir the pot because he was bored? Force the past on her in the name of healing or maybe for some sort of sick revenge against her not wanting to feed him?

Maybe Eddie was just being overprotective. He would need to look into it later. When Karmen didn’t need him to actually be present and grounding.

He didn’t know who Davey was but he had heard him mentioned a lot.

Usually during conversations he wasn’t a part of. Listening idly from the sidelines when Karmen was speaking with her friends. They spent a lot of time together and he was often around when she saw her loved ones.

But he did try to give her space. Didn’t like to impose or insert himself into her conversations if he wasn’t directly spoken to.

He was just happy to listen and apathetically consume some of the worst food he’d ever eaten at the Marston’s weekly dinner party.

He hadn’t noticed until he thought back on it now that Davey was always referred to in a past tense. He figured that perhaps the man had moved away or they had simply grown apart and that was why he’d never met him. He didn’t realize that he had potentially died or maybe he would have asked about it sooner.

Unless he’d misunderstood without the context.

But at the same time he wondered if he had known, if maybe he would have just left it alone anyway. Not that he wasn’t interested or didn’t care. Just that again, he had his own traumas that were best left untapped and he was always so glad Karmen never pried when they came up accidentally.

“Hey, hey…” He cooed, looking down at her and trying to angle himself in a way that he could see her face. She turned away from him, a hand coming up to wipe at her eyes as she took in a hitched breath he recognized a little too intimately. Reminding him of the kind of wracking sobs that accompanied the panic attacks he’d suffered during childhood. “Come on. Come inside.” He directed her softly. His hands sliding from her back up to her shoulders. He gently pried her away from him and wrapped one strong arm around her waist as he guided her to the house.

Their shoes scraped on the worn front steps. The old wood creaking under the new weight as they ascended them and threatened to topple the tower of VHS tapes Eddie had left on the bottom one.

They reached the front door and Eddie fished his key from his pocket to let them in. He nudgede her inside before ducking back out for the tapes. Taking the small amount of steps three at a time to get back to her within seconds. He turned to close the door and she seemed to come back to herself as they both entered her safe space.

“God, I’m sorry.” She said suddenly, scrubbing at her face as he locked the door behind them. “That must have been so confusing, I’m really sorry.” She apologized again, covering her mouth with her hands and feeling like she was going to be sick as the entire interaction played back in her head from Eddie’s perspective.

“No, don’t apologize.” He assured her quickly. “It’s okay, I understand.”

Karmen turned, beginning to walk towards the kitchen and Eddie rushed to be by her side. Trailing her as she stopped at the counter. Placing her hands on it and leaning heavily for a few seconds.

He placed the Family Video tapes down on the bench beside her as she looked up at him. Her expression was tired this time. Her eyes red rimmed and her resolve to pretend she hadn’t been crying, gone.

Eddie fumbled around under her gaze and tried to fix things that couldn’t be mended, with words.

He could tell she was mortified and wanted to let her know that he wasn’t judging her. But even their deeper conversations up until this point had never reached such a dark place.

He knew words couldn’t fix it and even if they could, he didn’t have the right ones but he wanted to try anyway. To do or say anything he had to, to stop her from looking at him like that. With such sorrow and shame.

“I mean… obviously I don’t know, like exactly how you feel. I don’t um…” he paused, scratching at the back of his neck. “I’ve never…” he tried again, grimacing as he trailed off once more.

“Gotten someone killed?” She asked. Filling the silence with the words Eddie was trying so desperately not to say.

“Been in that… Specific… Situation.” He corrected, making her huff out a broken laugh at the effort.

“It’s okay. I don’t expect you to understand. I’m just sorry it came out like that.” She said with a shake of the head.

She turned so she could lean her back against the counter. Crossing her arms and chewing on her cheek as she thought.

“It’s okay, really.” Eddie said after a moment of silence, taking a step closer and wringing his hands together unconsciously as he tried to assess her mood with the skill that had been useful earlier.

The one he’d been forced to learn in childhood.

Volatile parents kept him on edge. Made it his job to regulate them. He always needed to know who was cranky and why to be able to avoid blow out arguments that turned violent in the blink of an eye.

Karmen didn’t seem like she was going to turn violent.

Instead she seemed broken in a way he understood. Like it had been a few years since she was shattered but now the grout that glued her back together was cracking away and it was time for her to come apart again before she could be put back together for real.

“Cats out of the bag.” Karmen said without much emotion. “I’m a murderer.” She shrugged. Pressing her lips together and staring straight ahead. She didn’t know how else to say it. It was how she felt every time she thought about it.

About him.

“Uh…” Eddie hesitated. He had no idea at all how to navigate this territory. Hell he was surprised he bumbled through their day to day interactions without being asked to leave. He had no chance at something as delicate at this.

“It… U-um.” He stuttered. “Doesn’t sound l-like…” He paused, clearing his throat. “Like that’s the case.” He replied diplomatically, after a few seconds of thought. Leaving room for her to speak and try to change his mind. But even if she chose not to, he couldn’t believe for even a second that she could purposefully end someone’s life.

There was a huge difference between deciding someone should die by your hand and accidentally making a decision that inadvertently hurt someone.

It sounded like the latter had happened and he refused to let her believe they were the same thing.

“I was planning on telling you at some point…” Karmen continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “But as you can see the emotions are still quite raw.” Her voice cracked as she spoke. “I don’t talk about it a lot and when I do…” She trailed off again, gesturing with her whole hand at her face as it screwed up with emotion and she took in another shuttered breath. Her hand covering her eyes as Eddie watched sadly and tried to decide if he should move closer.

“I understand.” He said earnestly, urging her to truly see how thoroughly he understood. How agonizingly similar they were in the way they held out onto their pasts. Kept their traumas close to the heart. Scared to actually speak on them due to the way they had been mistreated by others for it.

“I guess I have to explain now or you’ll just think the worst of me.” She said in a tone that again Eddie recognised, from his own life. A cross between pleading for someone to listen and also not actually wanting to speak.

The strong urge to explain himself clawing at his chest but his mouth betraying him, refusing to justify his actions.

“Never.” He said simply, pouring as much sincerity into his tone as he could and watching with his own watery eyes as she nodded through his word. “You don’t have to tell me.” He said softly, watching as she shook her head in response. A sigh that came from deep within slumping her shoulders.

“Davey was my friend.” She said quietly, pausing to hold back another wave of emotion as Eddie took the opportunity to cut her off.

“Kam, really, you don’t have to tell me.” He assured her, drawing closer and placing gentle hands on her folded forearms. “Save it for when you’re ready. I’m not going anywhere unless you want me to.” He said in a way he hoped sounded comforting and not needy for her affirmation that she wanted him around.

“No, I do. I…” She sniffed resolutely. “Just, let me?” She asked. “If you want to hear it?” She added as an afterthought. The fact that Eddie simply might not be interested hadn’t crossed her mind until that point.

If she was him, curiosity would be eating her alive.

She didn’t see a reality for herself where he could confess that he might have killed someone and she wouldn’t have thousands of follow up questions that she needed answers to immediately.

But then again if Eddie had taught her anything in their small amount of time they had already shared, it was patience.

Maybe he really didn’t need to know. That didn’t mean that he didn’t want to know. They weren’t one in the same.

Being able to defer his curiosity until a more ideal time, didn’t automatically mean that he didn’t care.

Eddie took a second to think. Not about whether he wanted to hear it but if it was right for him to enable her in this vulnerable moment. If he should tell her that he didn’t want to hear it just to let her keep her secrets until she was actually ready to tell them.

“Okay.” He said simply. Deciding that ultimately he would rather listen before she was ready than have her think he didn’t care.

“Okay.” She agreed, swallowing against the dryness of her throat as Eddie nodded, resigning himself to listen to a story he knew deep down she did not want to tell.

“So I used to work for Dutch... I think I told you that.”

She had told him that.

“I think I was technically a dealer but I never actually attended any of the deals. I wasn’t allowed to go because it was ‘too dangerous’.” She rolled her eyes, putting bunny ears around the words. “Only time I’ve ever been grateful that those sexist old fucks didn’t think I could do what they could.” She admitted. “They were right. But it was dangerous because it was bloody dangerous, not because I’m a woman.” She clarified.

Eddie nodded once, lips pressed together in a thin line as he took a step towards her. He knew what it was like to be treated as ‘less than’ by his superiors and his peers. But not because of his gender or because they thought he couldn’t do what they did.

It was simply because he was a Munson.

A Freak.

He didn’t think it was the same but he was sure it hurt in the same way.

“I guess I was kind of more like a messenger.” Karmen continued. “The guys would find people looking to buy and they would give them my number. I just set up a… ‘meeting’ between two people that had never met before.” She said with a shrug. The implication that she was too innocent to know exactly what she was doing was just to add dramatics to the retelling.

Eddie sniffed at that, reaching out a hand as he came up beside her. Leaning on the counter and swinging it over her shoulder as she pushed away from the bench, leaving him to stumble in her absence as she continued her story, deep in thought and not even noticing he had tried to hold her.

“Plausible deniability and all that.” She said, moving towards the front door and turning around again to pace back towards him. “Sometimes people like you would come in and want to meet Dutch and I would chat to them to try and figure out if they were legit.” She explained, pointing at Eddie with one hand sticking out from her folded arms before she turned again, heading back towards the front door and Eddie took a step away from the counter to try and follow her.

“Sometimes I’d have a regular client call me and say they wanted to buy and I’d tell them where to go. I got a percentage of all the deals I brokered just for answering the phone. It was…” She paused, looking up and staring out through the pane of glass in her front door. Blinking a few times as her arms fell to her side. “Easy.” She said softly as Eddie caught up to her. Trying to place a hand on her shoulder for the second time and missing his target again as she took a step forward and turned towards the living room.

“It was so easy!” She repeated, throwing her arms up for emphasis. “All I had to do was answer the phone.” She said incredulously, stopping her pacing at the back of the couch. The money was pretty damn good too.” She added. “Compared to like, waitressing or something. I just had to keep a calendar. I could stay home and study and make money without really even thinking about it.”

She turned back to the kitchen from her place near the living room. Looking around quickly before she spied Eddie still standing near the front door. She tilted her head at him, wondering when he had moved as he stared at her from across the room.

His eyes flicked to the side as he waited for her to continue. Eventually nodding at her, rolling his hand to encourage her when he realized she was waiting for him to speak. She frowned at him, but continued anyway, heading back towards him as she spoke.

“That was the problem though.” She explained, a sigh leaving her lips as she stopped in front of him, looking melancholic. “I wasn’t really thinking about it. I had my little calendar and my friend’s class schedules. I had all the time in the world to sit around and think but when it came down to it, all I was really thinking about was myself.” She said bitterly, her arms going back to being crossed over her front as she almost held herself protectively. Like she was trying to shield herself from what came next.

“Davey and Mac. I don’t think you’ve met Mac.” She said after a moment as Eddie took the second she paused to think about what she’d said.

He hadn’t met Mac.

“They’re brothers. Their family moved here when we were starting middle school. Mac is older but Davey was our age.” She began again, referring to her and her friend John. Eddie didn’t miss the fact that she again referred to Davey in past tense. His tongue darted out to lick at his lips. He hadn’t misunderstood earlier. This story was going exactly where he thought it was.

“He was… One of my closest friends.” Karmen nodded, only a few inches from Eddie but staring right through his chest as she spoke. As if he wasn’t even there. “Pretty much…” She paused again, clearing her throat and seeming irritated that she couldn’t just keep speaking like she wanted to without her voice cracking. “Pretty much on par with John you know?” She asked rhetorically. “But John had the advantage of knowing me longer and living closer.”

Eddie nodded again, not sure what else to do bar showing her that he was listening. He wasn’t sure if she even noticed to be honest. The blank stare on her face was unnerving. The way she was looking through him. He knew she was deep in a memory. Narrating it as she watched it happen right in front of her eyes.

He wasn’t sure she could even see him right now.

“He called me one night with a tip he’d heard at some bar and he asked what I thought about it.” She whispered. “He was all like ‘do you think it’s legit?” She deepened her voice, imitating her friend’s American accent and making Eddie smile sadly. “I asked around and got the guy’s number, can you suss it out for me?” She continued to imitate him. “And I said… Sure.” She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. Nose scrunching as she tried to hold back the watering of her eyes but they stung so badly.

Eddie stared down at her, his own eyes watering along with hers involuntarily.

She turned away from him quickly. Taking a deep breath and willing herself out of the memory for a long second before she could find it in herself to continue.

She walked aimlessly towards the kitchen again. Heading to the fridge and pulling it open out of pure habit. She couldn’t tell if it was the urge to have something to do with her hands or the desperate need to eat something to make the sadness go away that drove her. But she reached into the refrigerator anyway. Pulling out a family sized bottle of soda and filling the silent room with the sound of hissing as she removed the cap.

“But I didn’t…” She said bluntly before taking a long swig of the drink. Pulling it away from her lips and holding back a soda burp that threatened to fizzle out her nose as she turned to Eddie with a shrug. “I mean I did.” She clarified. “I called the guy and we talked for a bit about the most mundane shit.” She laughed, a hollow sound that was backed by the scraping of plastic as she screwed the bottle cap back on. “He asked me about my favorite show and what I was studying and obviously I lied.” She explained, placing the drink back in the fridge door. “But I remember thinking that he seemed so overly friendly. Like, maybe he was trying to flirt or something.” She said as she closed the fridge and turned back to Eddie. Leaning her forearms heavily on the counter as she narrowed her eyes at the memory. “I don’t know. I didn’t want to talk to him too long because Alec…” She trailed off, rolling her eyes and wondering if she even needed to say it.

She had touched on how her ex had treated her with Eddie a bit in the past. But she had never really gone into detail about the kind of asshole that he was. Just the fact that he was, in fact, an asshole. One that she loved very much despite knowing he was treating her wrong.

One that she had tried very hard to please in the hopes that she would prove herself worthy of his full attention.

Eddie had a hunch that Alec didn’t like her job very much and she probably heard about it frequently.

“I-I get it.” Eddie stuttered out from his place by the door. His hands were in front of his stomach and he was fiddling with his rings as she looked up at him. He didn’t want her to have to say it. He understood what kind of guy he was from the context he’d been given already.

Not that he didn’t want to hear it if she wanted to talk about it. But he got the sense that it was tangential to the main point of her story and to go off on that side quest would take her away from what she actually wanted to tell him for long enough that she might change her mind and leave him with only half the story.

Kam nodded, grateful that she hadn’t needed to elaborate.

“I just got a weird vibe.” She elaborated. “But I didn’t take it seriously and I don’t think I’ll ever regret anything more in my life.” She added, voice small again as Eddie took a few steps towards her to be able to hear better.

“He wanted to meet at a place that was just about on the border of Dutch’s territory. It wasn’t over the line though. He was willing to come into ours so I thought he must be traveling and didn’t want to come too far into town if he didn't have to.” She said. “I didn’t stop to consider that Davey had met this guy further into town. Which is why I now overthink everything that I possibly can.” She chuckled sadly. “Making sure I’m always one step ahead and not letting any crap slip by me…” She said, swinging her arm to add a little extra sarcastic flare.

“Anyway, I sent Davey out and the guy didn’t even show up.” She summarized with a shrug of her shoulders. A surprise to Eddie as she pushed herself away from the counter and headed towards the living room.

He watched her go.

That had not been where he thought the story would end. He felt as though there was still more to come so he followed as she moved. Grateful when she slipped between the couch and the coffee table to slump down on the cushions. Leaving room beside her for him to sit as she pulled her legs up to sit with them crossed. Her hands wrung together anxiously in her lap as she sunk into the back of the couch. The weight of Eddie sitting down beside her jostling her body around as she turned to him. Face pale, eyes sad.

“I got a call from a payphone about an hour after the meeting time.” She proceeded. “It was Davey, obviously. Calling to ask me if I’d heard from the guy.” She paused, her voice trembling as Eddie inched towards her. A warm hand grounding her as he placed it on her thigh. “He said he’d been waiting but couldn’t really loiter anymore without making it obvious. So he’d asked someone where the nearest phone was and walked to it to call me and find out if he’d fuck up his calander or if I’d fucked up mine or… If the guy was just a no show.” She exhaled shakily.

Gritting her teeth together, heart hammering in her chest as her vision became blurry, mouth filling with saliva as the sick feeling in her stomach returned. Her blood felt cold, body too hot as she relived the moment.

“It happened so fast.” She whispered. Eddie’s hand tightening on her leg as his own heart thumped wildly in his throat.

“I heard the shot through the phone and …” She stopped, swallowing loudly. “I knew.” She croaked. “I knew. It was so fucking loud, Eddie.” She breathed, tears overflowing. “I heard him hit the ground.” She gasped out, looking up at him as he removed his hand from her thigh and instead wrapped both his arms around her. Pulling her to his chest and holding her there for a long moment. She trembled in his tight grasp. His lips brushed against her curls as he whispered to her broken words about how she didn’t have to keep telling him. How he had heard enough, it was okay, he understood.

But she shook her head at him, her hair catching in his lips as she pulled away. Huffing out a miserable sounding laugh at the sight of him obscured by her curls stuck to his mouth and wet cheeks.

Eddie brushed them away quickly. The pads of his fingers then ran along her own forehead and cheeks as he pushed her hair out of her face too and she looked up at him with appreciative eyes.

“I went straight over there.” She began again, feeling a little lighter now that the hardest part of the story was out of her mouth. “Because…” She paused. “I don’t know. Because I don’t value my own safety I guess.” She tutted. “I drove across town and by the time I got there the cops were already there. It was all roped off but they hadn’t covered him because it wasn’t Davey anymore, it was a crime scene and they wouldn’t let me go to him.”

“Oh.” Eddie breathed, barely a word as he imagined how hard that would be. How much it would hurt to see your loved one slumped over on the side of the road and not be allowed to go to them. To touch them. Hug them. Tell them you love them.

That you’re sorry.

“I’m pretty sure I kicked Hopper in the balls.” Karmen added. Eddie snorted, covering his mouth and feeling guilty. But the small smile on her face told him that laughing was the right thing to do at her sad attempt at humor. “At least I think it was him.” She clarified. “Some guy three heads taller than me was trying to carry me away and I was not having it.” She chuckled dryly. “But that’s really all I remember until the next day. I guess I blacked out whatever happened next… Yet my brain will not let me forget what my friend looked like lying in a pool of his own fucking blood.” She said wryly. “I have to remember that every time I think about him.” She added bitterly as Eddie gave her an empathetic look when she caught his eye again.

“Babe…” He whispered, his hands rubbing up and down her biceps as he struggled with words. “I… I don’t know what to say.” He admitted softly. Biting at his lip and squinting at nothing before he continued. “I want to… To say something. But I-I don’t…”

“It’s okay.” She assured him. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“I’m sorry.” He decided on quickly. Not wanting to leave it as he had.

“Thanks.” She replied simply. Swallowing against the saliva that refused to stop pooling in her mouth as she said. “I miss him.”

“Yeah.” Eddie agreed, not really knowing how else to let her know he understood at least in some capacity.

“Mac drinks a lot now…” Kam said after a moment of comfortable silence. “He shows up here sometimes, drunk out of his mind and wanting to just… chat about Davey and how amazing he was.” She sighed. “Hasn’t done it in a long time though and I hoped it was because he was healing but honestly I think someone just finally told him how hard I blame myself for everything.” She rolled her eyes, looking off towards the TV as Eddie furrowed his brows.

“He didn’t know?” He asked. Watching as her eyes flicked back towards him.

“He did. But, he never blamed me. So I guess it was hard for him to really see how hard I blamed myself.” She elaborated. “He says Davey should have known better and… I guess he should have but so should I, you know?” She asked, continuing before Eddie could answer. “I feel like, when Mac drinks himself to death that’ll be on my conscience too.”

Eddie opened his mouth to protest, closing it again when she continued to speak.

“I’m not really sure if anyone truly blames me, other than me but… Some things were said at the funeral.”

Eddie hummed at that, tilting his head as she looked up at him with a questioning gaze.

“In my experience, funerals aren’t exactly the place for rational thinking.” He commented frankly.

“I know.” She agreed. “Still kicked me when I was down though.”

“I bet.” He sighed. “How long ago did this all happen?” He asked, thinking back on what she’d said and trying to work out if she’d told him already or not.

“Early ‘83.” She answered as Eddie whispered in response.

“Shit..” He whispered. “Not long ago then.”

“Nope. But, you wouldn’t believe how much I’ve changed since then.” She said bitterly. “I owe a lot of that to Davey and… Another person I’m really not ready to talk about.” She said cryptically. Piquing Eddie’s interest despite the fact that he managed to keep his face neutral.

“I understand.” He said simply, not wanting her to feel obliged to talk about them as well.

Whoever they were.

“They made me realize that life is short and most of the time it’s shit. So, I had to do what I could to make it, not shit anymore.” She explained, a small smile on her face as she clasped her hands together in her lap and screwed up her face at him. “So I did that cliche thing where I quit my shitty job and blew through my savings trying to figure out what I actually wanted in life.” She laughed, making Eddie smile.

“How ‘feel good movie’ of you.” He said humorously, watching a flush rise on her cheeks as she batted a hand gently against his chest. “So what did you figure out?” He asked frankly.

“That everytime I ever thought to myself ‘If I didn’t have to work right now I could be writing my book’ I was lying to myself.” She smirked. “Turns out when you have all the time in the world to do something it’s harder to start. I need a deadline or I don’t finish things.”

“Mm.” Eddie agreed with a nod. “You see why I need to graduate this year right?”

“I do.” She answered hastily, the same empathetic expression he’d given her now on her face as she nodded back at him. “Anyway it turns out in the end that I just really wanted to be happy and have my loved ones be happy.” Which is why I only made John grovel a little bit when he came over here and legitimately begged me to go back to my shitty job.” She concluded, holding up a hand and pinching her fingers together to emphasize how little.

“The Nanny job?” Eddie asked, thinking back on what she’d told him of her past.

She had mentioned before that she’d quit her job to write her novel. But shortly afterwards she’d run out of money and when John was looking for a Nanny to give Abigail a break she had joked that perhaps he should just start paying her for all the babysitting she did for free.

He had agreed and she had found herself looking after a toddler several long days a week while trying to be creative in between watching Play School and trips to the park. She enjoyed spending time with Jack but she had run herself into the ground for little pay and ultimately she was no happier than when she had been working at Marston Construction.

“Ha. No, this was after the Nanny job.” Kam chortled. “Apparently watching John’s kid 24/7 instead of writing my book wasn’t helping him enough.” She said scandalously. “So I went back to the job I’m doing now not long before I met you.” She rolled her eyes. “He did promise me an Intern to take the stress off my workload but I never got it. It’s the thought that counts though right?”

Eddie rolled his eyes along with her, shaking his head at the audacity of the man she called her best friend.

“Did he like, get on his knees when he begged?” He asked quietly, curiosity getting the best of him as he smirked at the thought of John, knees in the dirt, begging Karmen to come back to help him save his business.

“After I told him to, yeah.” She answered bluntly as Eddie gawked in surprise.

“For real?” He asked, eyes wide.

“It’s a shitty job Ed.” She said flatly as if that was all the justification she should need for literally making a man beg.

Eddie huffed out a breath, licking at his lips as Karmen turned away from him. Settling her back against the couch cushions once more and resting her elbows on her knees before letting her face fall into her palms.

“Does it make you see me differently?” She asked hesitantly, closing her eyes as he snapped himself out of his depraved thoughts. Chastising himself internally for letting his mind wander and his body get excited at the thought of Karmen forcing a man onto his knees when they were in the middle of such a serious conversation.

Karmen braced herself for the answer to her question despite Eddie’s demeanor being nothing but kind and supportive since before she’d started telling him her story.

“Are you kidding?” Eddie asked softly, leaning into her personal space and invading her hiding place to force her to look him in the eyes before he spoke. “Of course not.” He assured her. “Well, not in a bad way anyway.” He whispered firmly. “What kind of despicable person would see you in a bad light after you told them something so deeply personal?” He asked with a frown. “If anything, I’m honored to be someone you trust enough to show me this part of yourself.” He said quietly, sincerity dripping from his tone.

Karmen sniffed softly, a small smile creeping onto her lips as she blinked through fresh tears.

“Okay, now you’re laying it on a little thick.” She chuckled, the light not reaching her eyes as she left a lingering question in the air.

Was he serious or just saying what he thought she would want to hear?

“No, really.” Eddie said seriously, inching even closer to her and gently prying one of her arms away from her face.

She sat up to avoid falling forwards without one of her supports. Crossing her arms over her chest defensively once more as Eddie thought about how to say what he wanted to get out.

“I um.” It was his turn to pause. “I have a lot of um… stories.” He admitted softly. “I’m not really ready to talk about them at the moment because like you, I try really hard not to think about it.” He said with an apologetic smile. “But I’m pretty sure I can’t keep them down forever and…”He paused again, swallowing against emotion he didn’t want rising up in this inappropriate moment.

“Even though obviously, If I could, I would take your pain away in a heartbeat. It’s almost nice to know that you have your own shit going on so I don’t feel so alone in mine…” He concluded, looking away for a long second after he spoke and then turning back to her with a regretful look on his face. “Fuck, that was conceited. I’m sorry.” He said swiftly, not wanting her to think he was making it about him. But Karmen shook her head in response.

“No, it’s fine. I get it. I… I agree.” She smiled, a little more earnestly as she nodded at the thought. “It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my pain even if the root of it is different.” She mumbled. “But obviously, it’s sad to know you have pain as well.” She added as Eddie shrugged, trying to play it off.

“Your pain is important right now.” He told her softly, a hand coming up to wipe at the fresh tears on her face. The metal of his rings gathered the wetness and he made a funny face as he brought his hand back to his chest to wipe at his shirt for the sake of comedy, making Karmen chuckle lightly.

He never was really good with talking seriously for too long, even if he did care deeply about the subject. He was a bard by everything but trade and loved to make her smile. Pulling faces and making jokes was his way of healing things.

“You don’t have to talk any more about it if you want to move on… I can order us pizza and we can watch ‘The Dancing Movie” Eddie began, slowly. His hand back on her cheek as he looked deeply into her eyes and promised her without words that he was serious. “But, if you want to tell me, I’d love to hear more about Davey.”

Karmen smiled meekly at that. The sparkle not reaching her eyes as she turned away. Staring at the ground and answering him without saying it directly.

“I don’t want to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ anymore.” She murmured. Giving him the hint that she didn’t really want to tell more stories about Davey either.

“Okay.” Eddie agreed, tone soft.

“I want to watch Indy.” She said suddenly, not looking up.

“Okay, we can do that.” Eddie said with a nod.

“Raiders.” She clarified as Eddie groaned under his breath.

“Baby we didn’t get that one.” He said sadly. “We got Temple of Doom remember?”

Karmen hummed, pointing towards the armoire that housed her movie and music collection.

“I have it.” She explained. “It was Davey’s. His favorite.”

“Raiders it is.” Eddie said quickly, slapping his knees as he pushed himself up to stand. “Then Footloose?” He asked as he headed for the pile of tapes he’d left on the counter. Intending to bring them into the living room so they could order them by how they wanted to watch them after he pulled Raiders from the cabinet.

“Maybe.” She answered, voice small. Eddie slowed to a stop in front of the counter. Turning back to look at her and feeling a wave of sadness wash over him as watched her glare at the ground.

She had been so excited to watch ‘The Dancing Movie’ and in retrospect he had been a dick about it. Even if they were just playing. The fact that she had been torn down so hard by the afternoon that she didn’t even want to entertain the idea of the movie anymore had him feeling melancholic.

He needed to do something to cheer her up and somehow he didn’t think watching her late friend’s copy of his favorite movie was the right action to achieve cheeriness.

He thought for a second, a lightbulb going off in his brain.

“I have an idea.” He said suddenly, walking back towards the living room without a VHS in his hand and raising his eyebrows at her frown as she finally looked up at him. Confused as to why he wasn’t bringing their entertainment with him.

“What?” She asked as he walked around the coffee table and knelt in front of the cabinet.

“You’re going to like it, trust me.” Eddie assured her, pulling the cupboard open. A springy sort of sound that rattled the glass door filled the room before he leant in to rifle through the things on the shelf.

“Raiders?” She asked.

“No.” Eddie answered simply.

He found what he was looking for. Standing up and lifting the dust cover off the record player she kept above the TV as he removed a vinyl from its sleeve.

Karmen watched his back, not sure what he was doing until she saw him place the record inside the player and switch it on. Pulling the needle over to where it needed to be and turning to smile at her as the crackle of the music began to play through the speaker.

Eddie leant over the coffee table, holding out his hand to her. He flicked his hips in time with the beat of the music, wiggling his brows at her and gesturing more pointedly for her to take his hand as she stared up at him in stunned silence.

Been working so hard

I'm punching my card

“Teach me the dance!” He shouted over the music as her eyes flicked to the hand in front of her face, a skeptical look on her features as she studied it carefully. “I know you know it!” He added, playfully accusatory.

Eight hours, for what?

Oh, tell me what I got

“Seriously?” She asked, voice also raised over the song. “You didn’t even want to watch the movie.”

I've got this feeling

That time's just holding me down

“Come on! You’re gonna’ miss the chorus.” He urged her, moving over the coffee table in one large step and grabbing the hand from her lap before she could protest.

I'll hit the ceiling

Or else I'll tear up this town

He yanked her up from her seat, pulling her quickly away from the couch into the empty space between the living room and kitchen where she had been pacing earlier.

She let him pull her, not really expecting anything else to come of it once they were standing in an open space.

But Eddie surprised her. He let go of her hand as the chorus began, stepping back and striking his best Saturday Night Fever pose. One hip cocked, right arm pointing up towards the ceiling at an angle while the left pointed towards the ground.

So now I gotta cut loose

Footloose

Karmen barked out a laugh at the sight. Slapping her hands over her mouth in shock as Eddie grinned at her before changing up his expression to do his best Elvis impression.

Kick off the Sunday shoes

Please, Louise

Her mouth fell open as he moved into the grapevine. Sadness gone in an instant and pure glee on her features as she watched him shuffle from side to side with a ridiculous gate.

“Oh my God!” She screamed over the music. “You can dance?”

Pull me off of my knees

Jack, get back

“No!” Eddie yelled back, shaking his head at her incredulously as she rushed towards him to join in.

Come on before we crack

Lose your blues

“Yes you can!” She argued excitedly as Eddie finally stopped moving so she could catch up to him.

Everybody cut footloose

“I would do anything to stop you being sad.” He admitted aloud as he placed his hands on her hips and they swayed together to the music as the next verse started. “Anything.” He said again, jutting his chin from side to side in time with the music as Karmen giggled up at him. Her eyes sparkling again.

Eddie let out a breath at the sight. Relief filling his chest at the smile on her face as she pulled him to her and rested her cheek against his chest.

He held her close. One hand coming up to play in her curls as the other rubbed up and down her back. They swayed together softly to the rest of the song. Slow dancing to the party music and enjoying each other’s company until the record played out. As the music faded, the soft crackling of the needle against the vinyl signaled that it was time for them to part.

Karmen moved first so that Eddie could pull away. Albeit reluctantly as he smiled down at her while he back stepped towards the living room and switched off the player. Karmen followed him, stopping by the couch and looking around her before realizing that the movies were still in the kitchen. She retreated, returning with them a second later and motioning for Eddie to sit down on the couch as she placed them on the coffee table and clicked opened one of the cases.

Terminator.

“Babe.” Eddie said softly, realizing what she was doing. “You don’t have to–”

“I want to watch it.” She argued, discarding the case and slipping the tape into the player before rounding the table again and slipping in beside Eddie who snatched the remote from her reach before she could turn on the TV.

“You want to watch Footloose.” He corrected, going to stand and being stopped by a hand on his thigh.

“No.” She said earnestly, shaking her head. “I just lived through The Footloose Experience.” She said pointedly, showing him her jazz hands and jutting her head towards the area behind the couch where they had just been dancing. “I don’t think the movie will ever satisfy me again.” She sighed wistfully, a smirk on her lips as a flush rose on Eddie’s cheeks at the memory.

It hadn’t seemed so ridiculous in the moment. He really would do just about anything to see her smile.

Except dance like that again.

“Yeah…” He said, trailing off. “Sorry about that.” He said with a grimace, making her laugh.

“I loved it.” She smiled, taking advantage of his distracted state to snatch the remote back and turn on the TV. “You really cut Footloose.” She murmured as he scoffed at her, embarrassment bubbling in his chest.

This was definitely one of those moments he was going to lay awake at night thinking about for the rest of his life. But he could live with that. If it meant that Karmen didn’t spend at least tonight lying awake and thinking about hers.

End.

More Notes: (Spoilers for the rest of the series! Come back and read this after Anticipation if you don't want it spoiled!) The fact that Karmen decides to stay with Eddie after the whole Chrissy debacle (when they've only been together about a year at that point) is something I wanted very badly to make believable for them.

When I first started this story the intention was for Eddie to die at the end. So the fact they had only been together a year didn't really matter. 😅 When I decided not to go with that ending I wanted to make it believable that Karmen would believe Eddie was innocent without all the extra context/be willing to stay with him long enough to learn about what really happened.

So I feel like it is important for the reader to learn these things about Karmen's background too. While I probably won't ever bother going into detail about her ex Alec and the baby she lost with him (the other person she wasn't ready to talk about yet btw) we can hopefully imagine from the small amounts of context throughout that he was basically just a very shitty person and not the only shitty person she ever dated either.

Eddie is the first person Karmen has ever been with that she actually feels loved by and not like she constantly has to prove herself to him to keep him loving her. Eddie is the best relationship she's ever had and she does not want to give that up lightly.

She is a very empathetic, caring and giving person. She has always been that way but especially after the realization that life is short and you can die at any time, she goes out of her way to make her loved ones happy because you never know when it's the last time you'll ever see someone alive.

It's in her nature to want to care for her loved ones so she feels slighted when it comes to past relationships and like she wasted all her 'good years' doing things to make previous partners happy only to have them not appreciate it in the end.

So there are a few moments leading up to this story (like Sugar & Spice Racks for example) where Karmen starts to see that Eddie is truly is different from the rest. But also very specifically Eddie's reaction to learning about what happened with Davey is the point that she knows he is different and that he is worth every second of the time she spends on him.

Whether or not they will be together long term, (because at this point the character's still aren't sure) she enjoys spending her time making Eddie happy because she feels for the first time in her life like her partner puts in equal if not more effort to make her happy. Is that the bare minimum in a relationship? Probably. But as we know, Eddie would do just about anything to make her happy and does continue to do so for the rest of their lives so she really can't complain when he doesn't do the dishes. 😂

POINT IS by the time Aftermath rolls around she is so truly in love with this man/can't imagine her life without him to the point that she will put up with just about anything to keep him because as crappy as Eddie can behave at times (you'll see what I mean when I get to the later chapters of Aftermath) and as stressful as he is sometimes with his mental health journey etc, she knows that he is not doing it on purpose/not choosing to be that way/not doing it to her or to hurt her (like other people previously in her life might have. Used bad mental health as a means of control). Eddie is truly just unwell and needs support which she is more than happy to give him. While he can be exhausting sometimes, it is vastly different to being with someone that is nasty and abusive because they are selfish and don't care about others. Which before Eddie was all she'd ever really known. 😭

John when he finds out what Uncle did 👇😂

Here's a little comic I made of Karmen remembering Davey's Death

Read the rest of the series here :)

This series is so personal to me, so it means the world to me when someone let’s me know they enjoy a work from this series. If you guys liked this please pleaseee consider letting me know via comment, reblog, message, anon ask etc.

Tags: @3ddi3-daydreamer @micheledawn1975 @munson-blurbs @wheels-of-despair @browneyes528 @stevemunsons

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