#Services For Amazon

[sellersumbrella5050]

7 Ways to use AI for your Amazon Business

2023 is the year when AI’s popularity grew. It became an everyday staple and not just a random word we hear in sci-fi shows.

From big box brands to mom and pop stores, everyone’s tapping into the power of AI. They’re using it to understand customer behavior, boost sales, and manage their business efficiently. If you’re not, you’re falling behind the curve. 

But don't worry, you don’t need  a Ph.D. in computer science or a huge budget to leverage AI. Integrating AI into your Amazon business is simpler and more accessible than you might think. 

Is using AI the right call?

Absolutely! Using AI is definitely the right choice, but it's not always a one-size-fits-all solution. AI is your trusty assistant, capable of handling repetitive tasks and processing vast amounts of data with speed and precision. However, you should still be the one calling the shots because, let's face it, we've all seen Terminator a few too many times to trust AI with everything just yet! The best results happen when AI and human intelligence work hand in hand.

For instance, AI can analyze customer data to identify trends, but it's up to you to interpret those insights and make informed decisions about product development or marketing strategies.

How is Amazon using AI?

#1: Conversational Alexa: Amazon has used AI to enhance Alexa’s conversations. By leveraging advanced language models optimized for voice interactions, Alexa is now able to engage in more natural conversations with users. This improvement not only allows for smoother interactions but also ensures a better understanding of context. 

#2: Improved product listings: Through the use of generative AI, Amazon helps sellers create more comprehensive product listings with minimum effort. This not only saves time for sellers but also ensures that customers receive thorough information for confident purchase decisions.

#3: Engaging advertisements: Generative AI helps brands create visually appealing and engaging ads with ease. By selecting their product and utilizing the Amazon Ad Console, advertisers can quickly generate multiple ad variations to optimize performance.

#4: Review highlights: Amazon uses generative AI to create review highlights. This gives shoppers a snapshot of product feedback. Shoppers who do not want to go through all the reviews can look at the review highlights and still make an informed purchase decision. 

How do you use AI for your Amazon business?

#1: Optimizing Amazon Listings

Using AI for Amazon listing optimization is a bit like walking a tightrope. It is not right to hand over the reins and let AI write your listing from scratch - that's a  recipe for disaster. But here’s what you can do. Brands can use AI’s excellent analytical capabilities to identify the weak spots in your competitor’s listing and the strong points of your product. 

First, gather up all the critical reviews (<3 stars) your competitors are getting, along with any negative reviews your product has received. Throw in your positive reviews too. Then organize and feed all that data into your AI and ask it to pinpoint the things missing in your competitor’s product, highlight your product’s unique selling points and spot any hidden problems in your own listing. 

Leveraging this data can help you write a killer copy that speaks directly to your shoppers. So, while AI should not be trusted for penning your listing all by itself, it can definitely be your helping hand, like we said, “a reliable assistant.” 

#2: Efficiently managing inventory

Have you ever struggled to figure out exactly how much inventory you need to stay in stock while avoiding long term storage fees? We’ve all been there. But that’s where AI can help. It looks into the current trends to gauge how many items you will sell in the future. Using the right AI tools also helps you figure out the perfect amount of stuff to keep on hand so you don’t waste money on extra storage or risk not having enough for your customers.

SoStocked and Skubana are some of the most efficient tools that handle all the grunt work, like keeping track of what you’ve got, so you can focus on other important aspects of your business.

#3: Creating Amazon search terms

Search terms are something that often gets overlooked, but they actually have a significant impact on your Amazon ranking. Despite its seemingly minor role, the 249-byte search term field plays a major role in getting your product to the right customers. 

Here’s the catch, the keywords used in your title should not be repeated in your search terms. For example, if your product is a “baby bib” and you have used the words “baby” and “bib” in your title, you cannot use them again in your search term fields. This makes finding the right and relevant keywords for your search term field, even more challenging. This is where AI steps in to help. Using AI, you can generate a list of long tail keywords specific to your product. These keywords will contain specific phrases and word combinations that potential shoppers might use when searching for a product like yours. 

#4: Improving product images

Just like we cannot depend on AI for writing a listing from scratch, we cannot depend on it for creating Amazon infographic images from the ground up. For now, it is better to rely on human intelligence for tasks like that. But there are some pretty cool AI tools out there, like CREATORKIT. These tools can't whip up Amazon-ready listing images (just yet!), but they are great for jazzing up your existing product photos. You can add unique backgrounds and make edits to images even if you have zero knowledge of Photoshop. 

Using AI tools like CREATORKIT is a smart move, especially when it comes to product photography. Instead of spending a buttload of money on clicking lifestyle images, you can use these tools to fix your product photos in a snap. 

#5: Replying to customers

When it comes to customer service, completely trusting AI might not be the best move but it can definitely lend a helping hand and make your life a whole lot easier in this department. 

Ever find yourself at a loss for words when it comes to responding to a customer's question or complaint? Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. In situations like this, you can use ChatGPT to do the heavy lifting for you. Chat GPT is pretty darn good at generating responses that hit the mark. Sure, you might need to fix a thing or a tow here and there, but most of the time, it’s spot on. 

And the best part? ChatGPT excels at handling dissatisfied customers. How? It dishes out replies with a cool and collected tone-no emotions attached. This way, you can send professional and composed replies to your unhappy customers and keep things smooth and classy. 

#6: Optimize Sponsored Ad campaigns

When it comes to Amazon PPC optimization, there are a number of tools out there to help you out. Take Sellozo, Trellis, and SELLERMETRICS, for example. These battle tested tools have been put through the wringer over the years.

But you shouldn't rely on these tools for absolutely everything. After all, human intelligence is still crucial when it comes to making strategic marketing decisions. But, at the same time, you don't have to do it all by yourself either. AI-powered software tools like these can provide you with valuable data to shape your campaigns and strategies.

So, while you shouldn't hand over the reins completely, there's no denying the value that AI-powered tools bring to the table when it comes to fine-tuning your Amazon PPC campaigns. 

#7: Reprice pricing on Amazon in real time

You know those tools that help sellers adjust their prices on Amazon? They've been around for a while now, and they're actually a pretty cool example of early AI. 

The tools RepricerExpress and Feedvisor do all the heavy lifting for sellers by automatically adjusting prices based on what competitors are up to. These tools work 24/7 to keep your prices competitive and maximize sales and they’re way more advanced than Amazon’s own repricing tool. While Amazon's tool does the basics, these ones go above and beyond, offering real-time adjustments and a bunch of other handy features.

If you're looking to stay ahead of the game, checking out these AI-powered repricing tools is definitely worth a shot. 

Use AI; it’s not that bad

AI is here to do the grunt work, give you valuable suggestions, simplify complex data, and most importantly, it’s here to lend a hand. 

Human smarts still matter for making big marketing decisions. So, while you shouldn't let AI take over completely, it's definitely worth tapping into its power to fine-tune your Amazon strategies.

If you're ready to leverage AI in your strategies but need a human touch too, we’ve got you covered. At Seller’s Umbrella, our team of Amazon experts can provide you with the expertise and support you need to make the most of AI tools while ensuring your strategies are backed by human intelligence. Get in touch to get started. 

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Amazon's bestselling "bitter lemon" energy drink was bottled delivery driver piss

Today (Oct 20), I'm in Charleston, WV at Charleston's Taylor Books from 12h-14h.

For a brief time this year, the bestselling "bitter lemon drink" on Amazon was "Release Energy," which consisted of the harvested urine of Amazon delivery drivers, rebottled for sale by Catfish UK prankster Oobah Butler in a stunt for a new Channel 4 doc, "The Great Amazon Heist":

https://www.channel4.com/programmes/the-great-amazon-heist

Collecting driver piss is surprisingly easy. Amazon, you see, puts its drivers on a quota that makes it impossible for them to drive safely, park conscientiously, or, indeed, fulfill their basic human biological needs. Amazon has long waged war on its employees' kidneys, marking down warehouse workers for "time off task" when they visit the toilets.

As tales of drivers pissing – and shitting! – in their vans multiplied, Amazon took decisive action. The company enacted a strict zero tolerance policy for drivers returning to the depot with bottles of piss in their vans.

That's where Butler comes in: the roads leading to Amazon delivery depots are lined with bottles of piss thrown out of delivery vans by drivers who don't want to lose their jobs, which made harvesting the raw material for "Release Energy" a straightforward matter.

Butler was worried that he wouldn't be able to list his product on Amazon because he didn't have the requisite "food and drinks licensing" certificates, so he listed his drink in Amazon's refillable pump dispenser category. But Amazon's systems detected the mismatch and automatically shifted the product into the drinks section.

Butler enlisted some confederates to place orders for his drink, and it quickly rocketed to the top of Amazon's listings for the category, which led to Amazon's recommendation engine pushing the item on people who weren't in on the gag. When these orders came in, Butler pulled the plug, but not before an Amazon rep telephoned him to pitch him turning packaging, shipping and fulfillment over to Amazon:

https://www.wired.com/story/amazon-let-its-drivers-urine-be-sold-as-an-energy-drink/

The Release Energy prank was just one stunt Butler pulled for his doc; he also went undercover at an Amazon warehouse, during a period when Amazon hired an extra 1,000 workers for its warehouses in Coventry, UK, in a successful bid to dilute pro-union sentiment in his workforce in advance of a key union vote:

https://jacobin.com/2023/10/the-great-amazon-heist-oobah-butler-review

Butler's stint as an Amazon warehouse worker only lasted a couple of days, ending when Amazon recognized him and fired him.

The contrast between Amazon's ability to detect an undercover reporter and its inability to spot bottles of piss being marketed as bitter lemon energy drink says it all, really. Corporations like Amazon hire vast armies of "threat intelligence" creeps who LARP at being CIA superspies, subjecting employees and activists to intense and often illegal surveillance.

But while Amazon's defensive might is laser-focused on the threat of labor organizers and documentarians, the company can't figure out that one of its bestselling products is bottles of its tormented drivers' own urine.

In the USA, the FTC is suing Amazon for its monopolistic tactics, arguing that the company has found ways to raise prices and reduce quality by trapping manufacturers and sellers with its logistics operation, taking $0.45-$0.51 out of every dollar they earn and forcing them to raise prices at all retailers:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/25/greedflation/#commissar-bezos

The Release Energy stunt shows where Amazon's priorities are. Not only did Release Energy get listed on Amazon without any quality checks, the company actually nudged it into a category where it was more likely to be consumed by a person. The only notice the company took of Release Energy was in its logistics and manufacturing department – the part of the business that extracts the monopoly rents at issue in the FTC case – which tracked Butler down in order to sell him these services.

The drivers whose piss Butler collected don't work directly for Amazon, they work for a Delivery Service Partner. These DSPs are victims of a pyramid scheme that Amazon set up. DSP operators lease vans and pay to have them skinned in Amazon livery and studded with Amazon sensors. They take out long-term leases on depots, and hire drivers who dress in Amazon uniforms. Their drivers are minutely monitored by Amazon, down to the movements of their eyeballs.

But none of this is "Amazon" – it's all run by an "entrepreneur," whom Amazon can cut loose without notice, leaving them with unfairly terminated employees, outstanding workers' comp claims, a fleet of Amazon-skinned vehicles and unbreakable facilities leases:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/04/17/revenge-of-the-chickenized-reverse-centaurs/

Speaking to Wired, Amazon denied that it forces its drivers to piss in bottles, but Butler clearly catches a DSP dispatcher telling drivers "If you pee in a bottle and leave it [in the vehicle], you will get a point for that" – that is, the part you get punished for isn't the peeing, it's the leaving.

Amazon's defense against the FTC is that it spares no effort to keep its marketplace safe. As Amazon spokesperson James Drummond says, they use "industry-leading tools to prevent genuinely unsafe products being listed." But the only industry-leading tools in evidence are tools to bust unions and screw suppliers.

In her landmark Yale Law Review paper, "Amazon's Antitrust Paradox," FTC Chair Lina Khan makes a brilliant argument that Amazon's alleged benefits to "consumers" are temporary at best, illusory at worst:

https://www.yalelawjournal.org/note/amazons-antitrust-paradox

In Butler's documentary, Khan's hypothesis is thoroughly validated: here's a company extracting hundreds of billions from merchants who raise prices to compensate, and those monopoly rents are "invested" in union-busting and countermeasures against investigative journalists, while the tools to keep you from accidentally getting a bottle of piss in the mail are laughably primitive.

Truly, Amazon is the apex predator of the platform era:

https://pluralistic.net/ApexPredator

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/10/20/release-energy/#the-bitterest-lemon

My next novel is The Lost Cause, a hopeful novel of the climate emergency. Amazon won't sell the audiobook, so I made my own and I'm pre-selling it on Kickstarter!

[adhdandcomics]

whoever needs to hear this: if you got a disability, if you don’t know if you have something, if you ever think “it’s not that bad” if you have a thing about guilt, if you’re ill, Anything: listen. it is okay to throw things away.

you can throw it away. if it sucks and it stresses you the fuck out, if you just “need the right time to fix it” for the past 3 months. or years. if you loved it once upon a time but it makes you feel kinda weird and guilty now. if it’s a jacket youve reaaaally been meaning to mend and then donate. a jar of sauce that “all you have to do” is clean out to recycle but it’s been a week and now there’s a small colony growing in it. slowly shredding to bits fabric scraps you plan to use to fix something. busted picture frame. cracked mug. old shoes. extra box. an entire pack of granola bars that you hate so much but don’t want to waste.

life is already so goddamn difficult for us. i know you still care about recycling and the environment and sustainability. but it’s okay, i promise. sometimes you have to take care of your space. sometimes you have to cut your losses so you can actually have energy to recycle the next thing. get rid of the old shirt before it turns into a tornado pile of guilt under the bed. you’re not a bad person. you can throw this one away.

[classycookiexo]

[randomalistic]

Wait you guys are actually buying Disney products I thought it was a joke

(READ TAGS FOR FULL CONTEXT Sorry it’s long dies

[bubonicc-writing]

The Rebound

Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Fem!Reader

Word count: 3194

Summary: It's been a long time since Cooper has felt a loving touch. Perhaps a little too long because he's not entirely sure what to do with you.

CW: Semi-slow burn, smut, P in V, creampies, loving on a crispy man who needs it real bad. Prob ooc because this is my first fallout/reader fic ever (sowwy)

Cooper was a hard man to break. Downright standoffish and a straight-up jackass. At least that was what he was like when you first met him. Charismatic, confident, an excellent shot, but god, was he a prick. That, though, you had gotten used to the longer you traveled together. As the months dragged on, that standoffishness started to shed from the Ghoul. 

It started with random small talk picking up between you two as you travel between settlements. For the first few months together, it was mostly silence or business talk traded between you. Who was the next bounty? Where were they last? Can you scavenge while I get intel? It was all just business. That was until one night, Cooper started making small talk between their travels. Then came the soft conversations by the fire when they settled for the night. Every week, the weight of that duster and those guns on his back seemed to lighten the more he talked to you. Then came the offered cantine of water on a scorching day. Already an out-of-the-ordinary gesture from him, more so because your cantine wasn’t empty and he was offering his for a sip.

You took it.

The small talk turned into jokes with hushed laughs between you. As Cooper drawled on, you watched him over the campfire's tip. The light it threw cast beautiful shadows along Cooper's features, and when that crooked ass grin warped his lips more and more, you felt a tinge in the center of your chest. A little candlelight flickering and quivering whenever he spoke in that long drawl. It blazed when his eyes flicked up at you, staring at you in a way that made it seem like he could see right through you. It was like he could see that candle burning just for him.

Now, when the two of you slept, you were no longer on opposite sides of the room. You both started to creep toward each other every night until you were only a few feet apart. Cooper never laid down when he slept. Instead, he leaned against the wall and semi-slouched. He’d tilt his hat downward until the brim hid his eyes. Finally, he would cross his legs and arms before drifting off. You, on the other hand, preferred your bedroll. While not much, it was still better than the barren floor or the questionable mattress they occasionally came across. 

Tonight, a storm was coming through, bringing billowing winds and harsh rain that pounded the roof of the abandoned gas station they had sheltered in. You had tried hours ago to sleep, but the chill from the wind crept between the broken boards and cracked windows. You tossed and turned for what felt like hours, unable to get warm in any position. You flopped over one more time, now facing where Cooper was slouched against a wall a good two feet from you. His brim was cast down, covering his eyes as usual, but from how still he was, you figured he had fallen asleep a while ago.

 Chewing your lip, you hesitated momentarily before scooting towards him and bridging the gap. Snuggling up against his hips and thighs, you sighed contently. He smelled of gunpowder and smoke, typical. Slumber tugged at your eyelids, and you finally drifted off within minutes.

A light sleeper for obvious reasons in this hellhole of a wasteland, Cooper had awoken the second you had touched his leg. He waited for you to settle before opening one eye halfway and staring down his brim at you. Studying your peaceful expression and how you pressed your nose into his thigh. Two rouge strands of your hair had fallen against your cheek, slightly curled at the tips.

A former version of himself would have shoved you away, telling you to git back to your side of the station. Except the current version of himself felt something swirling around in his chest. It was slightly uncomfortable but not all too unfamiliar.

It was a sensation he hadn’t felt for over a hundred years, something that longed for that little touch and craved so much more. It flopped around behind his ribcage, and he grits his teeth in annoyance.

Sighing and looking back down, he shifts gently. Bringing one hand down and outstretching two fingers, he tenderly brushes the hair strands behind your ear. With that, he recrosses his arms and sits back, eyes closing.

As the months continue, so do they, but Cooper is different at night. His expressions are somber, his eyes distant while he sharpens his knives. Deep in thought, sometimes it takes calling his name twice before he looks up at you.

“Coop, are you alright?” you ask, your eyebrows furrowed together in concern. You were annoyed when he smiled and chuckled softly, telling you he was peaches and cream. You didn’t push the matter and didn’t have to because he mentioned his daughter three nights later.

He spoke slowly, hesitantly, wondering if he should even be saying any of this to you in the first place. He wasn’t a vulnerable man, not anymore, anyway. 

He spoke, and you listened, night after night, as more pieces of the puzzle of this mystery man fell together. Under all those clothes and behind all those guns, Cooper was still just a man—an ordinary man.

“You’ll find her Coop,” Reaching over from where you were sitting at his side, you placed your hand on his wrist and gently squeezed it, “I know you will.” 

Cooper didn’t respond, but a smile so tiny it almost went missed curved the corners of his lips.

As you lay in your bedroll that night, you felt something shift against your front. Opening your tired eyes halfway, you watched through blurry vision as Cooper lay down next to you. His back was to you, but you scooted against his spine without a second thought. Resting your cheek between his shoulder blades, you closed your eyes again. 

Eventually, Cooper lay facing you. Without saying anything, he would hook your waist and tug you against his chest. Then, you would feel him resting his chin on your head. The first time he had done it, your face burned so hot you feared you might catch ablaze. If Cooper noticed, he didn’t say. No matter, you didn’t want him to stop, and you were sure he didn’t want you to, either. 

In truth, Cooper would be lying if he ever said he didn’t like the sensation of your small palms against his chest. He loved how you played with the buttons on his dirty shirt until you fell asleep.

Each night, you did the same thing, chest to chest, until finally, one night, you nuzzled your face into the nook of Cooper's neck. Soft and plump lips grazed across his scarred skin before placing a gentle kiss on Cooper’s jawline. 

Immediately, Cooper stiffened against you. You felt his fingers tracing lazy patterns on the small of your back pause. You heard him swallow suddenly, and your stomach sank as you expected him to push you away and scold you. 

Instead, Cooper cleared his throat and nestled his chin harder against the top of your head. 

Days in the wasteland dragged on usually, but the following days felt like an eternity since that night. Bounty after bounty, caps collected, and supplies scavenged, Cooper never once brought it up. Instead, he carried on as usual, which, in truth, made your heartache.

It was possible that even after all of this time, the candle he had ablaze in your chest was not mutually lit. 

What you didn’t know was that Cooper's heart had bounced out of his chest and into his throat that night. He didn’t think it was even possible for his cheeks to flush, but damn, they felt hot. It was alien; over 200 years of feeling the kiss of bullets, he had forgotten what a real one felt like. It was incredible but also terrifying.

 He had loved, and he had lost. 

The nights following the kiss, Cooper waited for you to make a move again, but you didn’t. You slept with your back to him and didn’t move when he pressed against you and draped an arm over your waist. After a few minutes, he felt your fingers intertwine with him in a gentle grip. 

The two of you stayed linked that night.

The following night, Cooper watched as you shrugged off your jacket and kicked off your boots, getting ready to sleep after a long day of tracking a bounty through the unforgiving sun. Reaching up, you released your hair from its loose bun and let your locks fall messily over your shoulders.

You half turned when you felt Cooper grab your hand. Watching him bring it to his lips, he kissed your palm and pressed your hand against his cheek.

The brim of his hat temporarily hid his eyes, but when he looked up at you, your heart fluttered. No words were exchanged as you slowly leaned forward, having to stand on your toes even to come close to his marred lips. Centimeters away, you paused, but Cooper filled the gap.

The first kiss was gentle, and your free hand came up to cup Cooper’s other cheek. When you broke away, it wasn’t for long. Reconnecting, your kisses became hungrier, and your hands on Cooper's cheeks drifted downward. Running over his neck, then his collar and chest. You worked your way down as he kissed you until you palmed at his groin.

“Wait,” Cooper pulled away suddenly, stepping back, “wait…fuck” He turned on his heels, pacing back and forth. 

“What’s wrong?” You ask, watching him shake his head and curse to himself. “Coop?”

Once he stopped pacing, he sighed and shook his head before glancing over his shoulder at you.

“I don’t think I have it in me no more, sweetheart.” He laughed softly at himself. 

“What do you mean?” Taking a step towards him, she watched as he finally turned to face her.

“It’s… been a long time. A really long time, sugar.” Too long, really, at least, that is what he thought anyway. Nobody had touched him like this since before the bombs. Nobody had loved him. The only thing he knew now was blood, bullets, and ass jerky.

“Coop,” You said softly, moving towards him and wrapping your arms around his towering frame, “let me take care of you for once.” There was silence before Cooper rested his chin atop your head and laughed. Slowly, his hands came up to rest on your hips, his thumbs dipping under the fabric of your shirt to rub at the soft skin there. 

Looking up, you place a chain of kisses along his jawline. Meanwhile, one of your hands pressed against his back snaked back to his front. There, you worked your way down again until you felt the subtle tent in his pants. You palmed it gently, drawing out soft groans from your Ghoul. He shifted in place, sliding his chin off your head and burying his face between the nook in your neck. His hips lean forward into your touch, and you purr at that.

“That’s it,” you whisper, working the top button until it pops. Next, you slide his zipper down and slide your hand inside. “I’ve got you.”

Upon grabbing his stiffening cock, you feel him tense against you, even sagging a little bit as you start to stroke. Your thumb rubs over his swollen head, spreading the generous amount of precum around. You feel it pulse against your palm, and you can’t help but smile when Copper’s breath stutters against your neck.

“Fuck darling,” He drawls, “You know how to drive a man mad.” Bringing his hands up from your hips, Cooper knots his fingers into the back of your shirt. It doesn’t take long to have him unraveling. You can feel his thighs trembling and his grip tightening the closer he gets to release. Like butter, he is melting and fast.

Each new noise you pull from him causes a feverish heat to swell over your form. Your stomach flips, and you feel your heat clench with desire. As much as you would like to keep your composure, you lean into him, pressing your forehead into his shoulder as you stroke faster and faster. 

The choked growl Cooper lets out is the only warning you get before hot fluid coats your palm and wrist. His hips lurch in your grip twice before he suddenly sags hard against your form. Finger still twisted in your shirt, he finally lets go and lets his arms swing heavily by his sides. His legs are like jelly, and it takes him a moment to stand up semi-straight, his hat slightly crooked. He looks drunk, his eyes glossy, that stupid ass grin you loved smeared across his lips.

“That good, huh?” Stepping back to give him a little breathing room, you pluck the first few buttons of your shirt open. Allowing your shirt to part and fall from your shoulders, your breasts become exposed. With your other hand, you reach down and open the first button of your pants.

“Well then,” You coo, “come on then bounty hunter.” You shimmy your pants and panties off, kicking them off to the side, leaving your form raw to his eyes. “Come and get it.”

There was no need to ask twice. Rushing forward, Cooper grabbed your hips and slammed your forms together. Your lips crashed together again and again, and you whined into his mouth, horribly needy. You didn’t doubt Cooper had seen the slick glistening on your inner thigh.

Pushing you backward, you allowed Cooper to guide you to your bedroll. Once close enough to it, he kicked his foot out, hooked his heel around your leg, and pulled it out from under you. As you fell backward, he fell with you, landing flat on his palms. Towering over you now, eyes ablaze as they drink in your beet red face and beautiful puffy pink breasts. 

“You’ve been wantin' this for a while, haven’t yah?” Lifting one of his hands and pressing it against your soft belly, he drags it down towards your heat. Without warning, he slides his middle and ring finger through your folds, running over your sensitive clit. You gasp, tossing your head back.

“Ngh! Fuck!” Looking up between your bodies, you watch as Cooper drags his fingers up and down over and over, teasing your swelling clit. “Fuck Coop, fuck!”

“Well,” He growls, “Who am I to keep a lady waitin'?” Without warning, his middle and ring finger coast downward and dip deep into your gushing cunt. The squeal that escapes your lips has Cooper chuckling. He presses deep into you, humming as your walls grip his digits. 

Burying himself knuckle deep over and over, a squelching noise is followed by each hand thrust. You lift and twist your hips from the intense waves of pleasure. Only when you feel Cooper withdraw his fingers do you flop down, panting harshly.

Through half-lidded and blurry eyes, you watch Cooper bring his hand between you. He inspects them before spreading his two fingers apart, a tendril of thick fluid connecting them.

“You get this wet for everybody else? Or just little o’l me?”

Turning your head away in embarrassment, you feel Cooper grip your chin and return your gaze to him. 

“Eyes on me.” He growls as he rolls his hips forward, running his stiff cock between your slick folds. The head bumps your clit, and for a moment, you think you see stars. Over and over again, he grinds against you, littering your chest with kisses in the meantime. 

When you finally feel him lean back and press his head against your opening, he hesitates. 

“It’s okay,” you whisper as you place your hand on his cheek and run your thumb over his cheekbone. “I’ve got you.” Sliding both arms around his neck, you gently tug him into your warm embrace. One hand rugs between his shoulder blades while your other rubs the back of his neck.

Allowing himself to lean forward, he nuzzles into the side of your neck before biting the soft flesh. 

Rolling his hips forward, he breaches and slides into you with ease. Gasping and choking out a soft cry, you feel him bury himself to his hilt. Hip connected to hip for a brief moment, he finally drags himself out. Rolling forward, the pase is slow, perhaps even loving, before your Ghoul gets hungry.

It doesn’t take long before your hips are slapping together. You can’t stop the sobs of pleasure that break past your lips with each sharp snap of his hips. Digging your nails into his shoulder blades, you feel your eyes cross when the head of his cock punches that sweet, sweet bundle of nerves.

“Oh fuck, Cooper!” Your back arches off of your bedroll, “F-fuck! I’m… I’m” The hot waves of pleasure radiating from your belly to your groin all the way down your trembling thighs to your toes are winding too tight. “I’m gonna cum!” 

He didn’t slow down and instead angled himself better to strike that little bundle of nerves that had your eyes rolling back. It took two hard hits before he felt your beck snap into a tight arch. He felt your chest bump hard against him, and your hips twisted to the right as your climate ripped you apart.

Head thrown back, mouth wide open, no sound came out of you as your climax held you prisoner.

Above, Cooper's thrusts started to become sloppy, losing their rhythm as your cunt clamped down on him spasmodically. As much as he tried to hold on, it had been too long, and you had felt too good.

Grunting hard into the side of your neck, you felt a warmth bloom in your groin as Cooper spilled everything he had left into you. He slammed your hips together, holding you in place and burying himself as deep as he could, pumping you full. The sensation had goosebumps blooming across your skin as your body finally deflated back down against the bedroll. 

With eyes half-lidded and glossy, you made out the foggy shape of Cooper still hunched over you, his chest rising and falling as he tried to catch his breath. Every other breath was a soft wheeze. Sweat had beaded on his forehead, and a droplet fell and landed on your chest.

Leaning back and sliding himself from your heat, a thick flood of cum followed. You shivered at the sensation and watched as Cooper lowered himself against your form. Resting his head between your breasts, he inhaled sharply and sighed.

Lovingly, you stroked the back of his neck, enjoying the sensation of his hot breath against your breast.

Together, you lay like that while listening to the rain from a passing storm plink against the tin roof.

When you looked down, Cooper's eyes were closed, and his breathing had finally leveled. Letting your head fall back, you closed your own eyes and smiled.

For once, the wasteland was at peace.

[ki11tr4p]

LONG LIVE THE PIRATES WHO SAIL THE SEVEN SEAS.

[sturid]

A small list of fictional men that should be girl dads

John Wick

Billy Butcher

Eddie Brock

Matt Murdock

That one baker guy from Kiki’s Delivery Service

Bi-Han

Cole Cassidy/Jesse Mcree

Obi-Wan Kenobi

both Aziraphel and Crowley

Newt Scamander

Izzy Hands

Peter Quill (Star-Lord)

literally any lotr character

feel free to add

[cl0ckworkpuppet]

time for my monthly mp3 player propaganda post!

yall. don't fucking stream music off of youtube or spotify. they pay their creators shit. the most generous estimate i could find was artists being paid $1 for every 200 streams (0.5¢ per stream), and unless you're listening to songs on an album thousands times in total, it helps tremendously more to just. buy their albums or subscribe to a patreon-like service for them

mp3 players are laughably inexpensive (you can get a decent one with bluetooth for like $40-50 and you can get away with even less if you forego some features), many of them are drag-and-drop, no ads, decent enough sound quality for the average person, unlimited skips, track selection, regular play and shuffle, playlists, being able to shut off your screen, and more importantly, ALL OF THIS IS AVAILABLE WITHOUT A SUBSCRIPTION. i've always been an avid hater of subscription models. there are some things where it's understandable, but you shouldn't lose access to basic QOL features just because you can't or won't fork over $10-15 a month.

"b-b-but $50 is so expensive!" WRONG. $50 (which is more than i've EVER spend on a single mp3 player) is the equivalent to 5 months on spotify premium without discounts. if you can afford that, it's worth investing into a device that can last you literal years if you get a good one and take good care of it

"but i don't wanna carry around another device!" fair enough, but these things are small enough to fit in tiny pockets (mine fits snugly in the watch pocket of my jeans) and are typically light enough to not be burdensome. if you can carry around your phone, you can carry around an mp3 player

"what if people think i'm weird for having outdated technology" let them. it's worth it in my opinion if it means i get to listen to music ad-free. the most I've ever gotten was "wooooah bro's got the dinosaur tech" and i just thought that was funny personally

"but what if the artist collapses without a constant stream of money!!! i'm not supporting the artist!!!!!" companies try to pay as little as they can get away with to artists. most of that money goes to the CEO and other higher-ups.

"but piracy is bad!" Piracy is a Crime. However, downloading youtube videos/audio for your own PERSONAL, NON-COMMERCIAL USE and NOT REDISTRIBUTING THEM is legal (generally, in the US, check your laws, i am not a lawyer, not legal advice, blah blah blah). besides, i never said you had to pirate your music. in fact, i encourage you to buy the albums of and support your favourite artists in other ways. some artists might even provide links for people to download their songs for free in high quality anyway

not gonna link products just in case someone thinks i'm a shill. but literally just look up "mp3 player" on your search engine or shopping site of choice and find something that doesn't look like it'll fall apart if you breathe on it too hard

seriously guys. if you listen to music more than like a few hours a week, and you don't get all of your music from livestreams or radios (although mine can connect to AM/FM radio), consider investing in an mp3 player. i tried out using one regularly in fall of 2021, and I haven't looked back. don't let companies drain subscription money from you

[hyacinthsdiamonds]

Amazon just cancelled My Lady Jane

[personinthepalace]

If I had a nickel for every show that I absolutely LOVED during the last two years that got cancelled after just one season

guys I am just really really tired *sigh*

[modernvintage]

I don’t need more content, faster. I don’t want to binge in a day and then be bored for two years or longer.

I need normal semi quality content, long form.

I can still pine over shows from the 90s bc they are lasting in their longevity. They weren’t made for 15 minutes. It used to be a goal to be on tv forever and everrrrr. Ten seasons?! Yay! Great!

Look at SVU. The Simpsons. Friggin South Park.

Just. Give. Us. Real. Seasons!!

I’m so done with hyper fixating for one month and that’s it.

[ladyknight33]

I want the deep storytelling of multi season shows.

Streaming services can no longer be trusted with series.

Forgive the rant, but the streaming services have enraged me these past few years.

First they dare to call 8 episodes a season. Then they treat that season like a blockbuster film rather than episodic stories. And Disney insists on dropping a single episode a week rather than the entire block all at once.

Either make a movie or make an episode.

And they cancel shows just because they are not widely loved by the masses. Hate to tell you this, but there are genres for a reason. Not everyone likes the same kind of story. Nor is there any variety when Everything is generated for the masses.

If we are so lucky to get a second season, it takes an eternity for them to announce it and even longer to produce it. By the time the next season comes out, we've forgotten most of the plot or why we enjoyed it in the first place.

Fantasy and Sci/fi gets hit the hardest. We get fantastic shows and then no follow up on the deep storylines. A proper series allows for a long form of story telling, like that of a novel. A way to watch many different characters evolve and chase their dreams. Streaming services begin the process and then truncate the story, turning it into an edited mess for the sake of the 8 episode cut off. And then they cancel it with thousands of loose ends that could have been wonderful.

Netflix, Disney, Hulu, Amazon, none of them have the guts to produce long form media. If it is not an instant hit, they kill it. And to determine this, they have the nerve to compare scripted fantasy to "unscripted" reality. IT IS NOT THE SAME.

I'm tired of a hundred new scripted shows that get canceled. I'm tired of a hundred rehashed "reality" shows being renewed. I don't want the umpteenth iteration of Survivor/Bachelor/BigBrother. I'm actually getting tired of documentaries that have no narrator or path of story. A collection of stitched together interviews is not a documentary. It is a cheap way to make another reality show.

I miss being able to return to the same characters for weeks on end. Years on end. To watch characters grow, evolve, betray, redeem. I want to have the breathing room of idiotic little episodes or scenes within the grand scope of a great looming evil.

When so many plot points are thrust into a single 8 episode crunch, there is no time to truly learn about the characters. Ten minutes of silently watching the character wander through extravgant scenery is not building character. Jumping from fight scene to fight scene with minimal dialogue is not compelling.

The current trend has removed attachment to characters in favor of cinematic and CGI pretties. The shock and awe treatment in order to gain viewers works fine with reality shows, but not with epic stories.

I am disappointed in how every show I enjoy gets mistreated and canceled before it can tell the story it was meant to.

I want my long form entertainment back. I want stories that last 3-4 seasons of 20-26 episodes. I want shows that unexpectedly and pleasantly extend into 100 plus episodes or 15 seasons. I want that experience of watching an episode and falling in love and discovering the deep lore of multiple seasons.

[xstick-noodlesx]

I would even pay for the show but it's not purchasable on any streaming services in the EU, specifically Germany.

[swankyangles]

[augmentedpolls]

which do you prefer?

netflix

disney+

amazon prime

paramount+

Thanks anon for submitting! If you’d like your own question answered, feel free to submit polls via my ask box