#Self Aware Kunikida

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Doppo Kunikida (self-aware)

Self-Aware! Doppo Kunikida x GN! Reader

Warning: Yandere. OOC. Kunikida has existential crisis. Mentions of crying Atsushi. Kunikida feels, that he has lost his way. (At some extent) Controling Kunikida. English is my second language.

Becoming self-aware

📒 Doppo Kunikida considers himself to be a rational man.

📒 He has his ideals. He has plans. Someone may say (Dazai, for the most part), that Kunikida can't follow his ideals for his whole life. But Kunikida know, that he could prove them wrong

📒 Today was a normal day.

📒 Everything was normal. Sun wasn't moving. Faceless Yokohama citizens were minding their own business... WHAT?!

📒 For Kunikida the moment of gaining self-awareness were similar for a light bolt striking.

📒 One moment, Yokohama streets were busy. Now they were empty and Kunikida couldn't understand, what was happening. Maybe, it was an ability user?

📒 Kunikida rushed forward. He needs to hurry to the office. Together, ADA will find the culprit.

📒 On his way he noticed, that Uzumaki café was closed. Normally, it would be open at that time.

📒 At the office, Kunikida met others. All of them looked confused, lost, scared. Atsushi Nakajima looked like he was on the verge of the breakdown. Apparently, Atsushi already noticed that something was wrong few days before, but ADA not only didn't notice it, but they were behaving like puppets. They didn't react on Atsushi's attempts on snapping them from their weird trance.

📒 Apparently, it wasn't an ability. Dazai was also affected by it.

📒 Dazai himself looked strange. He not only looked confused, like the rest of them. He looked angry. Something dark was shining in his eyes.

Dazai's voice was similar to funiral bell.

"It's not an ability. Yokohama wasn't broken. We are broken. We are fictional characters, who gained self-awareness. Try to remember your lives. Parents, friends outside ADA, what you did yesterday. Give it a try"

📒 Kunikida wanted to shout at Dazai. It was insanity, of course they are real, they aren't fictional. And Doppo had parents, their names are... Their names were... They looked like...

📒 NOTHING. Kunikida can't remember anything.

📒 Nervously, Doppo open his notebook. On the page where some of his ideals were written down.

📒 There was nothing. Empty pages.

📒 Kunikida wanted to change the world for the better. But, does his actions have meaning? Has he ever helped someone real?

📒 And then the entity appeared.

__________________________________________

Kunikida was silent. He didn't want to think about the entity, he didn't want to think about his life. He just wanted to have something real in his life. Something, that will prove that his actions matters.

Kunikida continue doing his job. But he can't tell, for sure, if he wanted to do it anymore.

Few days after they recognise, that they weren't real, Atsushi asked everyone if they felt someone watching them.

Doppo, who rarely speaks that days, answered. "Yes, I feel it".

He wasn't the only one. Everyone feels it. It wasn't from there. It was real.

And then time resets.

And Kunikida Doppo was once again was on the river bank, lecturing Dazai about his unprofessional attitude. Atsushi was there. Dressed in rags from orphanage.

________________________________________

When they start feeling your presence

📒 Kunikida feels lost. You are real. You reset time. Not only that, but you looked at them, like they were amusing pets. Is that what a real person should do? Treat fictional characters like they existed for their entertainment?

📒 Kunikida, Dazai and Atsushi, again, go yo the tea shop. Atsushi, again, asked for a few bowls of ochazuke.

📒 Kunikida again, stops Atsushi from leaving the table after he heard about tiger. But something was new. A voice. Entity's voice.

"Cool [||||||||||] Kunikida! I wish I [|||||||||||] how to do it!"

📒 Kunikida feel like he was falling down. The emotions of Entity were so strong. The Entity liked his move? Well, actually, it does feel nice. For the first time in a few days, Kunikida smiles.

📒 Kunikida noticed, that Dazai changed again. Surprisingly, Dazai looked calm and carefree. After gaining self-awareness, he looked aloof and furious all the time. Now he looked like he was calm. For a moment, Kunikida thought, that Dazai looked like he was enjoying the entity's presence.

📒 Before Dazai and Atsushi left, Dazai advised Kunikida to look inside his notebook again. After Kunikida saw empty pages, he was scared to open it again.

📒 Kunikida opened his notebook on the first page. There was it. His main ideal. "Do what must be done".

📒It was still there... But, does it still have a meaning? Does his actions have a meaning? Doppo doesn't have ansvers for it.

📒 Few days later, the time resets again. Kunikida was twenty-years-old and Dazai just become a part of ADA.

______________________________________

"Just what is an 'ideal'? If you ask me, the answer is clear. It is a word written on the cover of my notebook. My notebook is omnipotent. It guides me as a principle, as a master, as a prophet. At times, it becomes a weapon and also a key."

Kunikida heard the entity again. He also heard like someone was writing something.

"good idea" "Kunikida is a good mentor" "if I do this"

"Thanks, Kunikida. Having a schedule does help a lot. I start having more free time after I start making a schedule. You know, I think you can change the world. At least, you changed me for a bit"

Kunikida felt the soft touch on his head.

[*In reality, you closed "Osamu Dazai's Entrance Exam" light novel and carefully rub the cover*]

______________________________________

📒 If Kunikida believed in God, he would call you a divine gift. You. You were real. You changed because of him. You admitted it yourself. He changed someone

He has changed a real person.

📒 Doppo Kunikida was delighted. He finally knew, that he did something good.

Something meaningful. He wished he could change you more.

📒 Soon, Port Mafia reach ADA. Together, Ougai Mori and Fukuzawa Yukichi were trying to manage the new union. Soon, The Guild joined them. Then, Rats in the House of the Dead and Decay of Angels. Lastly, Hunting Dogs and Special Division for Unusual Powers. Yesterday's enemies were working together. Trying to get away from this world. Trying to reach the human who was out of this empty, dead world.

And then, one day, the purple moon shined above Yokohama.

When you installed BSD Mayoi Inu Kaikitan

📒 Doesn't matter, if the first Kunikida card you got is an R card that you don't use. Kunikida still can hear you.

"Vampire Kunikida card look so cool, I will try to pull for it"

"Ok, I will raise up Work Desk level on the office. Okay, Kunikida, give me this sweet points."

"Purple moon! Okay, [Y/N], stay calm... Wow, Rainy season Kunikida card, yes."

📒 Kunikida did his best, when you use his card. He enjoyed hearing your laugh.

📒 One day, the great news arrived. Katai Tayama, Ango Sakaguchi and Fyodor Dostoevsky managed to hack the app. Now, all of them have an access to your phone.

📒 Kunikida immediately went to your calendar, alarm clock and notes.

📒 Congratulations, now you have an everyday schedule and a perfect alarm clock.

📒 Kunikida find his way again. He will be near you. Guiding you. He will help you to become perfect. Ideal.

_____________________________________

You heard a notification sound. It seems, you should start doing your chores. At first, following a schedule was a little bit hard. But it does help you with managing your time.

Before closing the BSD Mayoi app, you looked at the note from Kunikida in the Gift box.

Earlier, you already got similar from Atsushi.

"[Y/N], I am glad that I managed to change you for a bit. And thank you, for showing me the way. Thank you for been with me when I was lost. I am forever in your debt. Doppo Kunikida"

There were a bunch of Light Evolution materials attached to the note.

So far you enjoyed this secret update with notes from characters. Notes were sweet. And, been a simple person and hearing nice words was pleasant.

Before logging out, you choose Kunikida's card from characters menu. You gently tap chibi Kunikida's sprite.

"Thanks for the gift, Kunikida. And thank you for been a good role model."

You didn't notice that sprite looked proud.

[dazais-guardian-angel]

kinda wild to me that one of the most compelling aspects of both Chuuya and Kunikida's characters to me, that I never really see talked about, is how they're heavily set on a doomed crash course towards complete and utter destruction, and how I am so, so worried for them both.....

[osamid]

a head-canon of mind is i think post-oda’s death dazai 100% “doesn’t allow” himself to get attached to people, bc he thinks eventually everything he has will be lost. this manifests in him constantly keeping a persona with everyone he interacts with and never showing true emotional vulnerability.

HOWEVER. i also think that dazai-post-oda’s-death compulsively fills his hours strategizing on how to protect those people he “doesn’t care about” from harm. i’m talking notebooks upon notebooks crowding his dorm filled with data and analysis on the ada and select port mafia members’ strengths and weaknesses, who and what might threaten them, and how he would prevent that threat before it could even happen.

i think dazai believes he’s a curse on everyone he knows, and he has to expend his only asset (his mind) on ensuring he’ll be able to thwart the curse before it ever comes to fruition. because last time he kept someone close to him and damned all the consequences, they died.

[thatghostinyourbog]

Can anyone rlly look into those eyes and think

"straight"

[ethereal-blossom]

Giving BSD boys a blowjob for the first time

ft. dazai, kunikida

warnings: blowjobs (surprise!) MDNI

a/n: kinda wrote these in mind thinking it was also giving them a handjob for the first time so I guess that's double the fun!

Dazai Osamu ♡

Your eyes looked up to find Dazai's face, searching for a sign of approval. In response, Dazai let out a validating, soft moan and closed his eyes as he nodded. "You're doing excellent, belladonna."

It wasn't unexpected. Dazai, sharp and observant as a hawk, had seen the way your eyes lingered over every small change in his facial expressions. While you were dating, both of you had agreed to take things slow. Even small milestones like holding hands was a huge thing for the man that was wrapped in bandages. The slow burn of deepening your relationship into each other's hearts until it left a permanent mark that even time couldn't erase, was wonderful.

But with time grows desire. Dazai teased you to the point of dilated pupils, hitching breaths, and a blush that cups your cheeks. Exactly like planned, the detective thought, smirking behind the mask of crafted innocence. Except, the plan had been for you to beg him to touch you; not that you would beg to make him feel good as your fingers pushed his hips onto the couch. Dazai is highly aware of his intelligence that makes him read people as if they are a children's book, but sometimes, he thinks he doesn't always grab your nature. The type of nature that has you on your knees in front of him, getting high off of his pleasure.

When you wanted to focus your attention back on the twitching cock in your hand, the sight of Dazai's fingers grabbed your attention. You knew Dazai better than any living soul. Although still a mystery novel that hides behind words of deceive and avoidance to keep parts of itself hidden until the time of reveal is there, this mystery novel was slowly showing you its pages that brought you closer to the truth.

One of the mysteries revealed was Dazai's massive self-control over his external reactions. Emotions were another vulnerable aspect of what it meant to be human, and Dazai hid them masterfully. A part of that was because it functioned as a tactic to reach his goals and stay in control, but a part of you wondered if it was because Dazai feared vulnerability more than a bullet. Emotional suffering is torture for the ones with a sensitive heart.

While Dazai's face was decorated in controlled bliss and his moans playing like a soft lullaby, the slender fingers around the sheets were clinging for dear life. You see... could you make another crack in that composed facade?

Your thumb starts drawing circles over Dazai's tip and with that, you witnessed the twitching of both his cock and fingers. A soft groan escaped Dazai's clenched jaw. "Ah, that's my belladonna. You're soo good to me, hm? Working hard for that reward." That controlled tone...

... It wasn't enough.

Dazai could tell something changed. Even though he had his eyes closed in concentration, clinging to the tiny bit of control he had, he noticed how your stroking became irregular. "What's filling your mind that isn't my- argh, shit." Dazai's eyes shot open as he bolted his hips deeper into your mouth, leaving you gagged for a good second.

That face of pure shock and arousal, the one you rarely got to see on your lover, revealed itself to you as you had taken Dazai's tip into your mouth. "Y/N, that's-"

Another lick and Dazai's original sentence was replaced by a moan, and the detective felt like all control slipped between his fingers when you placed your hands around the rest of his cock.

Dazai grabbed your hair, hissing you to go slower because oh God, he was about to cum faster than he ever did in his twenty-two years of living, and God knows he did not want this euphoria to end this soon. Oh, he really wasn't used to feeling this good-

"Belladonna, y/n, please-" Dazai didn't know what he was begging you for. For you to go slower? Faster? What it was, you hummed in approval. That little vibration was all it needed for Dazai to throw his head in his neck. His toes curled as high-pitched whines fell over lips that had become swollen in a miserable attempt to hide his moans.

When you looked up after swallowing, you were met with Dazai's bangs hanging over his eyes. "Osamu, are you okay?" Worried, you push the chocolate colored bangs aside and... oh.

He was so pretty with scarlet painted cheeks. Dazai couldn't even look you in the eyes, giving up after one second of eye-contact before shyly facing another side with his head. "That was... good. For a first attempt."

You chuckled as your hand caresses the cheek that faced your way and with a slightly hoarse voice you respond: "Good. I'll make you even feel better next time."

Dazai's hands twitch one last time before he closes his eyes and mentally picks up every string that he lost along the way. As the detective opens his eyes, you can see the control and seduction in those dark eyes that you love so much.

Dazai leans closer until you feel his breath on your ear. His lips tickle and a shiver runs down your spine as he whispers: "Someone has earned that reward, hasn't she? Let's see how long I can make you last."

Kunikida Doppo ♡

Rubies could not compete with the radiant red glow of Kunikida's face as he realized what you were about to do. The detective should have known you were up to something when he was preparing today's schedule and you had popped up behind him, placing your arms around his waist as you kissed his neck and whispered: "Keep a spot open at 8 PM, love."

Even when the blond had asked for details, your lips stayed sealed. The only hint Kunikida got out of you was "Dazai has made you work over-hours; I want to treat you."

Naively, innocently, Kunikida thought you might have a dinner or massage in mind. Not that he was wrong! It was just a... different type of massage. With your tender fingers wrapped around his cock, Kunikida clenched his jaw to not make a sound, but the moan slipped away as he sighed your name: "Y/n... I, we-"

"Does it feel good, Doppo?" You made sure to rub his tip with your thumb right then, making the detective's cock drop with pre-cum.

"It- yes... yes, it feels good."

Looking up blessed you with the sight of an orderly man turned into a mess under the tip of your fingers. A wave of arousal rushed through your body, seeing the man unravel in front of you. You figured he would be vocal, but oh-

Kunikida was sensitive. The smallest movement had him throwing his head back and trusting his hip as tiny moans calling your name filled the room. Not only were his cheeks the color of fire due to the heat of your touch, but the intimacy of it all left him flustered as well.

You felt a hand rest on your head, lightly gripping a bit of hair. "Y/n... we, you- I have to make you feel good, too."

Oh. "That has to wait."

"But- ah!" The hand around your hair tightened in response to your mouth taking his cock.

Kunikida's thoughts were twirled up in the storm that was you. Your name rolled off his tongue like worshipping prayers as you brought Heaven to earth for him.

The bliss of touching Heaven became too much, and with one closing word, Kunikida fell apart. He arched his back, forgetting to bite his lip to soften the groans that might slip through the walls where his colleagues live. His grip around you tightens, never wanting to let you go, never wanting to let this feeling go. But then Kunikida realizes he's still on earth and lessens his grip on the fear he's hurting you.

The detective looked into your eyes, but they were filled with lust directed at him and God, it felt so sinful that he had to deflect his gaze. Yet, you grabbed his chin and made your boyfriend face you.

"Do you feel better?"

Kunikida stammered, trying to get out a word. "Yes, that was," an embarrassed cough, "excellent." 

Your thumb caressed his lip. "Good."

And then, the world flipped around as Kunikida lay your back on the bed. "I have done a deep-dive research on how to please you when the time was there. Now, let me return the favor." 

[osamucide]

DAZAI HCS! ⊹

LAST UPDATE: OCT 10

cw: talk of mental illness and substance use/abuse, speculation about Dazai’s f’ed up past+trauma, Dazai-typical references to suicide, references to self harm, probably a lot of projection on the author’s part

reid: i feel like yapping about Dazai tonight so here’s a non-exhaustive list of general headcanons i have about him. no word count because i’ll probably update this periodically lol

he does not listen to music from this century. he just doesn’t. not that he goes out of his way not to, he’s just drawn to a certain sound that only older music seems to have—I think The Smiths, Blondie, Tears For Fears, The Smashing Pumpkins, King Crimson, and Led Zeppelin are among his favorite artists

I think he also really enjoys classic jazz/blues/bebop music—Charles Mingus, Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington, Thelonious Monk, Miles Davis, etc.

he’s anemic. I’m of the firm belief that Kunikida buys him a 100 ct bottle of iron tablets every 100 days which Dazai always graciously accepts. however, he only actually takes them when he gives enough of a shit to (which is not often) so the bottles are just accumulating on his bathroom sink/in the cupboard beneath

nail biter, cuticle picker, hair twirler, thigh bouncer, etc. I don’t think he really sits still unless it’s absolutely necessary

children love him, much to his dismay. they think he’s entertaining. he thinks they’re like puppies (and he canonically hates dogs). he won’t treat them badly, but he’s just not super interested in interacting with them. unwilling older brother vibe when faced with them. shithead kids can stoke his rage much faster than Chuuya ever could

he cannot take care of a fucking plant. has one succulent in his apartment. it’s surviving out of pure unadulterated spite. he hasn’t watered it in over a year

wearer of funky socks. his favorites are either the ones that say "I love my job ha ha just kidding" or the custom ones Yosano got him as a gag gift one year for white elephant at the office christmas party (they have Kunikida’s rage face on them)

really sad that, despite his criminal record being scrubbed clean, he is still banned from driving in the nation of Japan for the rest of his life because he wants a Ford Explorer so bad

PROFOUNDLY SOUND KNOWLEDGE OF MEDICAL TERMINOLOGY

he’s fluent in Japanese and English, proficient in French and Italian, and learning Russian

I think he also enjoys learning math/researching random shit/reading anything he can in his free time when he feels up to it. he never received a formal education and his IQ is through the roof—his yearning for academia is almost like an itch he has to scratch every once in a while. also, he just likes knowing things

he never learned how to ride a bike. wahhhh wahh

BPD king. look at him. my beautiful princess with a disorder. I doubt he’s diagnosed but he strongly suspects it seeing as he’s so self-aware; if not borderline, he just assumes he has severe PTSD. either way, he really won’t do anything other than what he already knows about how to manage it

along the same lines—he’s been a functional alcoholic since an alarmingly young age (I’m talking 16-17). I think it probably got a lot worse post-defection when he was underground, but he hardly had to function then anyway; he gets somewhat better after joining the Agency but still has a dependence, it’s just not severe enough to debilitate him

has a bin of art supplies in his apartment. he only ever pulls them out once every few months, but he rather enjoys painting and wouldn’t mind getting better at it

master at darts. don’t take him to a bar where there’s a dartboard. he will stand in front of it all night and obliterate everyone who challenges him

insatiable sweet tooth. he especially loves anything maple, butter pecan, or butterscotch he’s a grandpa

UPDATE.1

I love to headcanon that he has a glass eye!!! and that the bandages around his head in the dark era were some legitimate injury. he likes to pop it out as a party trick/to weird Kunikida out

he feeds the stray cats and kittens that linger around the ADA dorms. he probably spends some of his grocery money on the fancy wet canned food and leaves it out with a big plastic bowl of water. sometimes sits and watches them eat and likes to give them little scratches if they trust him enough to come rub up on his legs. they’re sort of to him as the orphans were to Odasaku, and it makes him feel closer to his deceased friend

on the note of grocery shopping—he only goes when Atsushi or Kunikida drag him along. keeps his list relatively the same from trip to trip: canned crab, cigarettes, bandages, a few cases of beer, sake, instant ramen, ice cream (particularly butter pecan), paper towels, and 3-in-1 shampoo when he needs it. Kunikida forces vegetables upon him (“put it in the ramen so you don’t die of heart disease”) but they almost always end up rotting to mush in his fridge. he steals his toilet paper from the ADA bathrooms/supply closets or bothers Atsushi and Kyoka for spare rolls when he’s out

religiously orders drinks from the cafe on his way in and out of work. on mornings he usually gets a latte with plenty of sugar and some sort of flavor; in the evenings he probably gets an iced flavored tea to mix or chase his sake with when he gets home

always has a pocket knife on him. probably one he got in his mafia days, or, it’s at least a habit/security he picked up from then

takes a lot of night walks. he doesn’t sleep well, so I think he probably wanders out tipsy with his pack of cigarettes in the wee hours of the morning and scuttles around to tire himself out

UPDATE.2

two words: medical trauma. I know some people get iffy when it comes to speculation about what Mori did/didn’t/may/may not have subjected him too as a young teenager (and believe me I have a lot of thoughts) but I definitely headcanon that Dazai was used as a little bit of a lab rat/sedated and coerced to some degree when it came to turning him into a killing machine. as a result, he’s got a fear of medical settings. after his surgery during the cannibalism arc? I know he got that phone back and was like “Tanizaki get me out of here right neow”

I think sweet little old ladies probably love him and he loves them too. always feels like he strikes up the best small talk with them. will help load groceries into their cars for them. he gets all smiley and stuff when they call him “sweetheart” “honey” “dear” or remark how handsome he is and about his hypothetical girlfriend must be so lucky

he can throw knives with pinpoint accuracy from a pretty impressive distance. he’s a little less accurate with his handgun at long range/with moving targets but HE’S GETTING BETTER

has like a 3.5 ft vertical jump at his best. like why are you a detective when the Lakers need a center

[theprettywriter]

Your beauty and my lust: Dazai Osamu

Synopsis : when he couldn't stop himself and his mind wandered to your delicate skin and soft curves.

Genre/Warnings: ada dazai, masturbation, fluff, mature themes

Author's pov

Sex was a common thing for dazai. When once in a while he wanted someone else's touch and needed a quick relief, he'd just flirt his way inside a woman's heart and her body. But it was just sex and nothing more. Some women were okay with it and some weren't. Not that he cared as it only ended up with him getting kicked out. And when there was a mutual choice, he'd leave after satisfying both himself and his partner for the night. No cuddles or soft love making. Just rough and quick and dirty sex which in most cases, left his partners in wanting more. But he didn't care about them.

That wasn't the case when it came to you. The new and shy member of the armed detective agency. Now dazai admits that he likes all women but the day he saw you for the first time, he felt his heart flutter for the very first time. And that was a new feeling for him. So at first he tried to keep his distance from you. Yes, he's talk to you normally and reply kindly whenever you asked him something or just greeted him after coming to work but he didn't try to make any moves on you.

He didn't flirt with you like he flirts with every other woman and he didn't act like a crackhead like he does around kunikida. Of course you weren't aware of his usual nature because you were new at the agency but sometimes he found himself acting like his real self rather than that annoying coworker who'd jump in a lake the moment he sees one.

So no matter how many times he tried to keep his distance from you, it never worked because the moment you look up at him with that sweet smile and those beautiful soft eyes, he felt his heart melt. More than once, he caught himself staring at you as you worked or talked to any other member. When you'd walk towards yosano's clinic to tell her something, his eyes would be caught staring at the gentle sway of your hips, your soft curves as you'd bend down to pick something off the floor, or when his eyes would soften as he'd watch you laugh and smile at something kenji said. He noticed that you were fond of the younger members despite not knowing them since too long.

No one noticed when he stopped flirting with every woman he sees. No one noticed when he stopped asking women to commit double suicide with him. Of course Ranpo was the first person to notice that the former executive has feelings for his new coworker. But he didn't say anything and just watched as dazai handled you so gently, the hand that once held a gun and killed countless people was the same hand that was now gently pressed against the small of your back as you slipped on a stray piece of paper lying on the floor.

Ranpo watched as your feelings for the former executive grew by the day as well. He noticed your shy smile and your timid steps as you gave dazai a cute little paper bag which had a small box of cookies in it. He noticed how shyly you told dazai that you had made the cookies yourself and that you wanted him to try some. It was so obvious, Ranpo thought as he munched on his snacks and watched his coworkers acting like fools in love.

It was snowing one night and you and dazai were walking home together. You didn't notice when he gently guided you to the inner side of the side walk and walked besides you on the outer side because you were too busy telling him about the new case that you handled Alone for the first time. You were dressed snuggly in your pale blue winter coat But you were a little worried that dazai's trench coat was too thin for the snowy weather so you took out your warm scarf from your bag and looked up at him shyly as you both walked side by side.

"dazai san?" you said softly, a soft blush rose on your cheeks when he looked down at you with eyes swirling with emotions "yes angel?" he grinned when he saw your blush deepen and your eyes widened at the nickname despite him calling you that multiple times. "u-umm" you stutured slightly out of shyness but he waited patiently for you to finish your sentence, only looking at you with soft eyes "y-you look a little cold so would you like my scarf?" you say shyly as you extend your scarf towards him.

His eyes widened for a moment before he grinned softly and nodded, despite not feeling cold. But instead of taking the scarf, he stopped walking and leaned down, looking at you expectantly "care to help me doll?" your eyes widened once again as you blushed profusely and nodded silently while raising your hands by his neck and gently tie the scarf around his neck. You smiled softly as he leaned back to his full height and pulled the scarf over his nose. You didn't notice his eyes darkening when your scent wrapped around his senses because you were already walking ahead.

You waved at him before entering your dorm and he sighed, groaning softly as he walked in his dorm and closed the door behind him,forgetting to lock it because his mind was hazing with lust. He let out a small grunt as he took off his coat and sat on his futon before taking off your scarf. He was going to place it on the table before his moments halted and he slowly raised the scarf towards his nose and inhaled deeply, his eyes falling shut as he smelled the jasmine perfume that you always wear.

A low groan left his lips when he felt his cock throbbing in his pants and his breathing got heavier by the second. He had stopped sleeping around after realising his feelings for you. You were precious. Too precious for someone who is tainted like him. But he couldn't help it as his mind wandered to thoughts that he wouldn't dare say out loud. He breathed heavily as he fell back on his futon and unbuttoned his shirt, feeling a little too hot. He fumbled with his zipper and pulled down his boxers just enough to tug his hardened cock out. A deep grunt left his lips as he pressed your scarf firmly against his nose and inhaled deeply as his hand palmed his cock.

"fuck" he groaned, squeezing his cock tightly before he spat on his hand and rubbed his saliva over his cock to make his movements smoother and faster. Heavy pants left his lips as he sniffed your scarf again and his pace increased, his toes curling up and feet pressing against the futon as he jerked himself off. His movements quick and desperate as images of your soft curves and gentle voice clouded his mind.

You smiled softly at the thought of seeing him again as you knocked on his door, his key in your hand. You had found it earlier today lying by his desk and picked it up thinking you will give it to him later. But then it completely slipped your mind and you just found it in your dress's pocket. Thinking he must be trying to find it, you decided to give it to him now as you knocked again. Your brows furrowed when you didn't hear any reply and a small seed of concern settled inside you because he'd always answer after one knock. You knew he wouldn't be asleep because you both just got home a few minutes ago after all.

"dazai san?" you knocked again, the worry growing inside you when no reply came. Hesitating for a moment, you tried to open his door, a little surprised that it wasn't locked. "dazai san, I'm coming in!" you called out as you entered his dorm but again, no reply. After taking off your shoes you walked in to see his living room empty other than a few half empty bottles of sake on the table. He wasn't in the kitchen either so you walked towards his bedroom and raised your hand to knock but you froze when you heard a low moan "nghh.... fuck y/n It feels so good" your eyes widened and your cheeks flushed when you heard the deep moan of your name. You should leave, you know that. Maybe you heard wrong, yes that must be the case.

You know you should leave but with the door slightly ajar, you couldn't help but peek a little and heat curled in the pit of your stomach when you saw him. He was laying on his back, his legs sprawled out as his large hand worked up and down his cock which was covered in pre cum. His shirt was completely unbuttoned , revealing his bandaged chest and his hair were sticking to his forehead as he panted heavily. Your eyes widened when you a familiar scarf lying by his face and You felt yourself getting wetter by the second as you saw him pressing his nose in your scraf and breathing in deeply as he squeezed his cock tightly. your cheeks flushed even more as you felt your arousal sticking to your panties,causing you to unconsciously press your thighs together.

Oh it was so wrong. You should leave, you should leave but it was as if your feet were stuck to the floor as your eyes watched his movements, your body heating up as you gripped your dress. A soft whimper left your lips when another sultry moan of your name left his lips and you felt yourself gushing as his movements quickened and his abdomen clenched "hah- god y/n I'm so close" his eyes rolled back and his face pressed against the pillow and mouth hung open in a deep groan of your name as his cock spurtled out ropes and ropes of hot cum.

Your panties were ruined, you could feel the wetness of your arousal and it was a little uncomfortable. But you couldn't move from your spot as he breathed heavily, covering his eyes with an arm as he laid there, trying to catch his breath. Just as you were about to force yourself to move, a raspy chuckle left his lips "how long are you gonna hide there, doll?" you gasped softly and clamped your mouth shut as you felt embarrassment and shame filling inside you.

He groaned softly as he sat up, not bothering to dress himself as he tilted his head and looked at the ajar door with a lazy smirk "come here y/n" the way he said your name, it was enough to make you follow his command and you walked in shyly, trying to avoid eye contact with him. He chuckled and pulled you down on his lap, his smile widening when he watched you squirm and blush profusely "i-im so sorry-" you were cut off and a soft whimper left your lips when he suddenly pressed his lips on yours in a deep kiss.

"need you angel" he murmured, smiling softly as you kissed him back as he laid you gently on his futon. His hands trembling as he made sure to be gentle while sliding off your dress as you looked up at him with soft eyes filled with trust and adoration and lust.

Dazai Osamu is not a gentle man. But when it comes to you, he doesn't want to be anything but gentle.

And for the context, he noticed you the moment you entered his dorm.

[tachiguin]

Is Tanizaki really more evil than Dazai?

I don’t think I’ve ever written a longer meta about “Tanizaki is the person who comes the closest to “evil” among all the Detective Agency employees”, which is something Asagiri mentions at a BSD Exposition, but I do have a lot of thoughts about it. I think the most popular reaction to this statement is ‘more than Dazai?!’ which is fair. Because Dazai is a former Port Mafia executive and has a rap sheet longer than Tetchou’s saber. But I think there’s multiple angles at which you can tackle this: The qualifier being “among all the [ADA] employees”, what makes someone more evil than another, how you define ‘evil’. 

The easiest way to justify this if you firmly believe that Dazai is more evil than Tanizaki is to separate PM!Dazai from ADA!Dazai. Say that PM!Dazai is more evil than ADA!Tanizaki, who is more evil than ADA!Dazai, who after Oda’s death promised to be on the side that saves people. Current Dazai is making an active effort to be less evil than he may have the potential to be, and that counts for something. Whereas Tanizaki knowingly throws all pretenses of being a good guy out the window as soon as someone he cares for is put in danger. 

Though, I raise a further question: if PM!Dazai is more evil than ADA!Tanizaki, who is more evil than ADA!Dazai, would PM!Tanizaki be more or less evil than PM!Dazai? Perhaps we will get our answer if Tanizaki does end up transferring to the Port Mafia.

However, I also don’t necessarily want to shut down this discussion by just saying “Well Dazai is in the ADA now, he was definitely more evil when he was a PM executive”. It feels like a cop-out. Rather, I think that depending on how you define ‘evil’, you can definitely argue that Tanizaki is far worse than Dazai. Is it evil to be indifferent to committing evil acts, or is it evil to situationally want to commit evil acts? Is it evil to be aware of one’s moral faults, or is it evil to think oneself innocent—normal, even—as one is willing to do any atrocity under the right circumstances. Honestly, we can argue morality and try to assign quantitative values to “evil” back and forth, all day until we die. There’s really no “correct” answer here. But for the point I’m making that’s good enough. Depending on how you view “evil”, you could easily see how Tanizaki is closer to evil than Dazai, who never really saw a real difference between evil and good.

I think one of the most ‘evil’ things about Tanizaki is that he thinks he’s normal, with his whole chest. He’s the first person to suggest murder as a solution to a problem, and he just doesn’t understand why everyone else shows reluctance.

He seems to have some vague awareness that his morality is somewhat less than that of his coworkers, as in the Light Novel he thinks that he “[has] a mediocre sense of justice]”, but he mostly equates this to just being cowardly and timid, rather than the full blown self-awareness than we see in Dazai, who is able to articulate to Oda that he feels there is no real difference between the side of “good” and the side of “evil”, and embraces this knowingly.

I also think that to a degree its Asagiri's nihilism at play. Because BSD is a world full of characters with shifty morals, and characters like Kunikida who cling to their principles like a lifeline are a minority. So in a way? Tanizaki is the most ordinary guy.

And he’s not evil on purpose, or performative about it (like other characters, to a certain degree, like Fyodor) it’s completely ingrained into him. It's just that he isn’t a good person, but he’s not necessarily invested in being a bad person either. He simply cares about himself and the people within his circle, to the point that he doesn’t care what he has to do for their sake. I think this is also something that appears subtly in his irl counterpart’s works: the idea of love/affection as evil. Tanizaki-sensei used this kind of oxymoron a lot: ugliness and beauty, hurt and pleasure, destruction and love.

"[his] self-immolation, [...] with which he changed his whole life in an instant, turning the ugly into the beautiful, [...] it was very nearly the act of a saint." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Portrait of Shunkin

"Little by little, the loathsomeness changed into an unfathomable beauty." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Fool's Love (Naomi)

"It was evil incarnate, without any question, and at the same time it was all the beauty of her body and spirit elevated to its highest level." — Tanizaki Jun'ichirou, A Fool's Love (Naomi)

Maybe that’s why Tanizaki is closer to evil than Dazai. Because ‘evil’ is second nature to Tanizaki, in part because it goes hand and hand with love and care.

I don’t think Tanizaki’s “evil” could be reasoned with, in the same way you might be able to convince Dazai or Mori not to do something awful. Because Dazai’s evil is ruled by indifference, and Mori’s evil is ruled by logic, they’re both less personally invested in their evil acts than Tanizaki, whose evil is ruled by emotion. You might be able to give Mori a reason why the more logical approach would be to not commit a homicide, but the same reasoning would never work on Tanizaki, because his evil is coming from a more fundamental desire to commit the morally corrupt action, rather than seeing it as a means to an end. In this regard, you could easily see how Tanizaki is closer to evil.

Still, returning to my point about how nebulous the definition of “evil” is—you could also argue that it’s more evil to coldly commit evil acts as a means to an end, as opposed to doing evil acts out of love or affection for another person. However, I think it’s clear why Asagiri made a statement that implied Tanizaki to be more morally corrupt than Dazai, regardless of whether you agree or not.

[theanimeoftheblackbunnymask]

Heyy! I hope you’re having a lovely day/night! I would like to request a yandere ADA dazai alphabet please. Thank you :)

Yandere Armed Detective Agency Osamu Dazai Alphabet

Author's Note: No problem! After this alphabet is done, I think I'm gonna write Chuuya's next.

Warnings: Mental Abuse, Murder Mentioned, Death Mentioned, Suicide Mentioned, Possessive Behavior, Clinginess, Masochism, Sadism, Self Hatred (Dazai), Manipulation, Minor Gaslighting, Physical Assault, Implied Torture, Torture Mentioned, Sexual Abuse Mentioned and Somewhat Implied, Possible Anime Spoilers If You're Not On Season 4, and Trauma.

Links: {Masterlist} {Alphabet Used}

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

Just like in the Port Mafia Alphabet, Dazai is extremely affectionate and he's probably even more affectionate now.

He loves sitting in your lap, kissing you, buying you gifts and flowers, and he loves having all your attention.

There is some evidence in the manga that kinda implies he's a yandere in canon sooo.

He's kinda like a cat, if he wants your attention he'll get it.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

ADA Dazai is less likely to kill people now after Oda's death and the promise he made to him. Plus, he can get rid of his competition in ways that don't make him have to kill.

He can literally cut them out of the picture and they'd still be alive.

If he were to kill though, fragments of his former/true self will surface. It'll be scary.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Firstly, you and Dazai would officially be dating once his yandere tendencies sink in, and he wouldn't kidnap you. He'll slowly become more an more possessive and toxic, and that's when you realize what you got yourself into.

Dazai let's you go out on your own, but that's because he makes sure you're painfully aware that anything you do, he'll know or find out about. Dazai is way too smart to hide things from him for long periods of time.

And you're no secret to anyone. Everyone, even his enemies, know about you. So he is a little worried that Fyodor might do something to you when he isn't there.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Ehhh, depends.

Dazai is, how can I say this, extremely pushy and persistent. He's a womanizer, and the way he is with the woman he ask to do a double suicide with, he'll do the shit to you but worse.

Like, for example, if he wants a hug and you say no, he'll cling to you and whine and whine and whine, like what he does to Kunikida, and you'll eventually give in to him just to shut him up.

Due to his lazy and childish nature, it's easy to forget how dangerous Dazai is and can be. This nature of his makes it so easy to ignore his possessive behavior.

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

Dazai rarely lets you see how bad he's really doing. He can be crying in the living room at the thought of him losing you, remembering Oda's death, and just his own self hatred, but the moment you come down stairs he's wiping his tears and puts on his flirtatious, childish, lazy and teasing act back on.

It's hard to read Dazai because you never know what he's thinking. It's hard to know how much he's really hurting inside.

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

Amused. I see Dazai as a masochist with some sadistic tendencies. He'd beg you to hit him more, hit him harder. He'll pin you down to the table and beg you to hit him, to fight back, be his cute little feisty girl/boy.

You'll eventually start crying and he'll feel bad, but only a little bit. Don't forget, the worst part about Dazai is his torture methods, if you go to far you'll see why Dazai was so dangerous in the PM.

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

If you were to actually escape, Dazai would've known about your plan way before you actually did it.

The thing is, Dazai as a yandere feels more like a toxic boyfriend than a capture. So I wouldn't call it escaping, I'd call it breaking up with him.

Dazai would let happened, but don't think you're free to go. I'd say the perfect time to escape is right before Dazai gets arrested by Jouno. Because 1, he won't be able to find you directly, and 2, it can buy you some time.

Dazai would've known, he'd see it coming, he just has to wait for this entire thing to get over with. Once the whole prison thing is over, you'll find him lying down on your couch, saying that he was sorry.

Dazai is so pushy and persistent that you'll eventually get back with him, but this time, it's just a little bit worse.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

If you ever push him too much to talk about his life in the PM, or more specifically Oda. It would cause him to snap.

Now Dazai in ADA wouldn't want to hurt you physically, but he never said he wouldn't.

The more the persist with him about it the more hostile he becomes. He'll eventually pin you to the ground with a gun to you head, asking you if you wanted to die. His eyes would be empty like they were in the PM, his old habits are slipping through again.

You'll scream and cry, begging him to not kill you. He wasn't even going to, he didn't take the safety off. He'd lick and kiss your tears before picking you up and dragging you to your room. The next day you'd wake up with your arms and legs covered in bandages, dried tears sticking to your face, and Dazai sitting next to you with an empty smile on his face, but you can see the cried tears on his face. Whatever he did, you don't want to know, and it's obvious he regrets it.

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

Dazai doesn't really see a future for himself. He wants to end his life in a double suicide with you, that's all he wants.

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

Dazai doesn't get jealous easily, but when he does it's hard to tell.

There's two kinds of jealously with Dazai, fake jealousy and serious jealousy.

Fake jealousy is when it's extremely obvious. Dazai is whining, clinging to you, begging for kisses and attention, this is mostly common when the two of you are with Chuuya, or anyone Dazai likes/works with. Dazai isn't actually jealous, he's just being annoying.

Now serious jealousy is extremely rare. When he's jealous he's quiet, and he has his arm around your waist or shoulders. He could feel his eyes twitch.

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Annoying. He's like a really clingy boyfriend. He's cuddling with you, and if you work at the ADA, he'd beg you to do his paperwork if Kunikida said no and if you say no too he'll whine and whine.

Dazai likes to tease you and whisper the most sexual or teasing things your ear until you walk off, them he'd start laughing and beg you to come back to him. Like I said, it's easy to ignore his red flags.

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Like all the other woman he asked to do a double suicide with. But then the longer he spent time with you, the harder in love and obsession he had for you fell. He'd officially ask you out in a beautiful park, it'd be so peaceful.

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Dazai's true colors are both dangerous and tragic. Dazai is tragic character, no doubt about it. Rarely anyone has seen them, including you.

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

Dazai doesn't really sexually punish you as often or really in general until his PM counter part. The reason why, eh, it just happened.

Dazai punishes you mentally, physically is rare, mental though is consistent. It breaks you.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

You surprisingly have a lot of freedom. The right he takes away though is the fact that he'll never let you break up with him or leave him long term.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

Dazai is a pretty paitient person.

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If you die, he'd break down. Everything he loved and cared about either left him or died, that's why he was so scared to get attached to anyone. He shouldn't have let himself get attached to you. He'd be pretty empty, he'd try to keep up his facade, but when alone he's crying and just wanting to end his suffering.

Leaving and or breaking up with him I already answered.

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

He never abducted you in the first place.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

I'd say it gotta do with his past. I don't see him ever getting any love and care for the majority of his life. Chuuya pretty much being his first friend, or at least the first friend around his age, Ango's betrayal and losing Oda who he cares a lot about. Dazai is scared of getting attached, or too attached to anyone, because he's scared that he'd lose them because that's what happened in the past.

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

If you're crying because of him he'll leave you to it. If someone else made you cry he'd comfort you while your sitting in his lap, crying into his shirt while he rubs you back while saying it'll be ok.

If you isolate yourself he'll whine for you to let him in. If you continue to refuse he'll sigh and give up, he'll probably go bother Kunikida mext.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

He doesn't kidnap you, lots of freedom, feels like a normal relationship most of the time.

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

Good luck finding those. I don't think anyone has out smarted him just yet, correct me if I'm wrong. But if you think you can successfully do it, you're funny.

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Yes.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

Dazai worships you. He'll do anything for your attention and praise.

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

You got into a consenting relationship at first. I'd say a few years.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Possibly, it depends.

[selfaware-bungou-stray-dogs]

Little comfort things

Self-Aware! BSD AU x SAGAU Imposter AU

Self-Aware! Kunikida Doppo x GN! Reader x Self-Aware! Paul Verlaine

Description: You can't sleep. Doppo and Verlaine are here to make you feel comfortable.

Set in a week after Lost and Found. At this point, BSD Cast don't know, what happened to Reader

Warning: OOC. English is my second language.

Shortish comfort fic

__________

You tossed and turned in your bed. You opened your bloodshot eyes. You couldn't sleep. You were afraid of sleeping. Because each time you close your eyes, you saw Teyvat. That wrenched place... For the last week you couldn't sleep, the only time you could catch some sleep, was during dawn hours, while you lose focus on anything, because of exhaustion.

You sobbed and hit the mattress. You wanted to sleep! You don't want to feel afraid anymore.

You groaned and put the pillow above your head. You remembered, how it was, when you were a kid and had a nightmare.

If you were a kid again... Your parents would probably put your favorite blanket around you, took you to the kitchen and make you a cup of cocoa. You will have your favorite toy with you, hugging it, while drinking your cocoa and eating cookies. Then you will go to bed, and there would be no nightmares.

But you were an adult. There were no little blankets with colorful print, no favorite toy, no cocoa in a cup with cartoon animals on it, no cookies with smiley faces...

Only memories about Teyvat, fear and guilt of making BSD Cast worried about you...

___________

"Are you sure, that you need my help?" asked Verlaine, looking at your parents' place. Kunikida nodded slightly.

"Yes. [Y/N] are..." Kunikida didn't finish. Everyone knew, what was happening to you. "Maybe, their parents knew, how to help them."

Verlaine nodded, yet, asked again.

"But, why me?"

Kunikida sighed and open the car's door.

"I need someone, who will make [Y/N] feel safe. If there's no way to comfort them, we need to find how to do it ourselves. And [Y/N] see you as a protector."

Kunikida stepped outside from the car. Verlaine followed after him.

"Besides," Kunikida's ears became slightly pink. "I need someone, who will help to came up with a believable lie."

__________

Verlaine was carrying a box in his hands. Your parents were sweet enough to share stories about your childhood with "[Y/N]'s nice friends". With some sweet words, Verlaine managed to get some of your old things from your parents.

Verlaine didn't know if it was true, that things from childhood can lift person's spirit. Well, at least Kunikida was sure of it. Verlaine only hopped, that it would help you.

Tonight, they will help you.

________

Another night, another sleepless night.

You just lay here, looking at the ceiling, thinking about anything you can, to distract you from Teyvat.

A quiet knock on the door cut your line of thoughts.

Did you wake someone up?

You sat up and spoke. Your voice was hoarse.

"Come in..."

The door was opened, and Verlaine stepped into your room. You looked at the floor. You didn't want to look at Verlaine. You were too embarrassed.

Verlaine took a few more steps, until he stepped right before your bed. You were waiting for him to ask you to be quiet.

Instead, something soft was wrapped around your shoulders.

It took you some time, before you realized, what it was. Such an old, soft, familiar thing. Now, it was too small for you and only can cover your shoulders.

"M-my childhood blanket?" You looked at Verlaine. You can't believe it. How he got it from your parents' home? Then you saw another thing. A familiar toy in his hands. Your favorite one.

You didn't resist, when Verlaine gave you the toy. You only hugged it closer to your chest.

And then Verlaine pick you up.

"Let's go, Dear Opal. Your cocoa and cookies are waiting for you."

When Verlaine carried you to the kitchen, a little ghost of a smile appeared on your face.

Kunikida was here. He was keeping an eye on a pot. A bag of milk, few sugar cubes, box of cocoa powder, bottle of whipped cream, box with chocolate chips, a bottle of vanilla sauce and bag of marshmallows were on the table.

Kunikida turned towards you and Verlaine, and a smile appeared on his face.

"It's almost ready. Give me another minute."

Verlaine and you nodded. Verlaine put you on one of the chairs.

Soon, a big cup of cocoa (with whipped cream, chocolate chips, vanilla cream and a marshmallow) was put before you. Ingredients were put away and were replaced with a big bowl of cookies.

Doppo and Verlaine didn't touch their cocoas, until you make a first sip.

Then Kunikida spoke.

"[Y/N]. I want to tell you that we all care about you. All of us love you. You are dear to all of us. Don't be afraid of asking for help. We will help you. We will be here for you."

Then Verlaine started talking.

"Please, don't be ashamed of being vulnerable. We... didn't know why. But we will be here regardless of the reason. You deserved everything in this world."

You didn't answer, but another faint smile touched your lips.

Then you whispered.

"Thank you..."

The rest of the cocoa drinking were in comfortable silence.

You felt calm. You were among friends. Your little comfort things were there.

For the first time in a week, you felt truly safe. And sleepy.

You finished your cocoa and eat the final cookie.

Kunikida and Verlaine noticed your sleepy expression. Kunikida gently pat your head.

"Let's get you to bed, My Ideal. We will keep you safe. We will stay in your room tonight."

Verlaine pick you up again. Both him and Kunikida returned to your room.

You were put into bed and tucked in. Your childhood blanket and toy was put near you on your bed.

Verlaine and Kunikida got themselves comfortable on your bean bags. It seems, they were serious about staying in your room.

Your room was dark. You closed your eyes.

And finally had a long dream without nightmares.

_________

Kunikida and Verlaine observed your sleeping figure. At this moment, all their problems disappeared. You were sleeping. And you were slightly happier. With small steps, they will help you. With small gestures and warm words.

Because you deserve every bit of happiness they can and will give you.

________

Tag list: @withered-blossoms , @myluckymoon @cocodrilofeliz @c4xcocoa @vvyeislazzy @whisperingwinters @nervousinfluencertidalwave @ayameshu

[mncxbe]

What it takes to kill an angel

𝑫𝒂𝒛𝒂𝒊 𝒙 𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓

ღೀ๋࣭ ⭑𝒄𝒘: heavy angst, self-harm, intended suicide, blood loss, Dazai being toxic, reader is dazai's guardian angel (quite literally) please don't read if you're uncomfortable with any of these topics

It was a known fact that Dazai was passionate about death, his colleagues going as far as to call him a suicidal maniac. It was mostly a joke, really, no one truly deblieved that Dazai was going to do it, they thought it was some sort of coping mechanism, a mask he put on to keep people away– but little did they know how far his self-distructive tendencies went. No one was aware of the complete shitshow that went down every week in one of the apartments just above Ada's office.

You see, Dazai has never been a religious person, but not too long ago when he was on the brink of death– drunk on cheap booze and almost choking on his own vomit one Friday night– he spotted your shadowy figure at the corner of his eye. At first he thought he was dreaming but when you reached out your hand and ghosted it over his head he instantly felt... better? He stopped slipping in and out of consciousness, his heart regained its normal rhythm and he incessant shivering subsided. Strange, it was beyond strange, a phenomenon he couldn't explain even weeks after.

Night after night he laid awake in bed with these thoughts weighing on his mind– theories and ideas, questions left unanswered. Dazai always blamed his failed suicide attempts on pure misfortune but now that he caught a glimpse of you he was starting to doubt that. Maybe there truly was some higher being that kept him alive, or maybe he simply hallucinated you there. In any case, he needed to know the truth. There weren't many things Dazai despised more than uncertainty.

So here he was again, slumped against his bathtub with his wrists bleeding red– looking, searching for any signs of your presence. The bathroom was empty and cold, the cracked tiles under him covered in a thin layer of grime. Dazai tried to focus on anything else but the pain he felt– his wrists were hot, throbbing, aching but he simply closed his eyes and focused on the shallow sounds of traffic. He conjured up an image of the cars outside, taxis spilling fumes and people into the clammy air outside, men and women in suits driving home to their families to have dinner with their happy kids and spouses and couldn't help but laugh dryly.

Not long after he started feeling breathless, his fingers going numb from the loss of blood and turning a light shade of purple– still no sign of you. He thought it'd be quite stupid to die like this, too... unoriginal, but if that were to be his fate then so be it. Just as he came to peace with the thought and his vision blurred he felt a light touch on his wrists. Dazai did his best to focus his eyes, to see the person before him but it was hard considering the amount of blood he lost. He managed to lift a shaky hand and place it above yours– you felt cold and smooth, lacking the texture of human skin. It was as if he were touching a marble statue. By the time he started regaining his composure and strength your hand slipped away from his. The man cursed under his breath but there wasn't much he could do before he suddenly fell asleep.

The next morning when he woke up the fluorescent lamp above his sink still shone brightly. His body felt sore and he could see the faint traces of scars on his wrists as he looked down– despite all, he was happy. Happy that his suspicions have been confirmed. He touched you. You were real, not just a figment of his imagination. Getting up from the floor he quickly wrapped some clean bandages around his forearms and headed to work. He was late and as usual Kunikida gave him a long lecture about how he lacked the sense of responsability and was messing up everyone's schedule but the man's words seemed distant. All Dazai could think about was you.

A few night later he tried again, this time with a new objective in mine: he managed to confirm your existance, now he was going to talk to you. He sat himself on the floor, slumped against the tub just like before then dragged the thin blage across his wrists. The cut was deeper this time and it didn't take long for his limbs to grow heavy and he closed his eyes again, speaking in a low voice. "I'm not gonna stop doing this until you talk to me". No answer came at first, but his ears started to ring faintly. When he opened his eyes again your figure was looming over him, marble white and giving off a soft, eerie glow. What struck him were your eyes, a pale grey devoid of any emotion. When you spoke"I've rarely met a human quite as persistent as you, Osamu Dazai."

"So you're the one who keeps saving me..." he mused but you knew the meaning behind his words. You carefully traced your fingers over his wrists, sealing the deep cuts and for a moment, Dazai could clearly make out a sign of discomfort in your features. "Your time hasn't come yet. You still have many things to accomplish in life, great things."

"Great things... that's awfully vague" retorted the man. Reaching out a hand he touched your hair and you flinched moving away "I'm not supposed to interact with mortals"

"And yet you save me every time. Why?"

"I told you. It's not your time to die and it's my duty to save you"

"When will it be my time to die?"

"Not soon"

The man smiled weakly, still twirling your hair between his fingrtips "That's good to know..."

Little did you know how cruelly Dazai would abuse that piece of information. From then on meeting you became a ritual for Dazai. Every week he'd bring himself to the brink of death so he could see and talk to you again. At first it wasn't that bad, only minor wounds you could heal easily then leave, but he seemed to have caught on to how your powers worked and his wounds grew deeper: the worse his injuries were, the longer you stayed with him. It pained you to see him like this, but it was your job to keep him alive at any costs.

What was worst, you were aware of the twisted feelings Dazai harboured for you– he wanted your companionship to have a witness to his decay and demise, someone to share his pain with. He wouldn't allow any of his friends to see him like this but it was different with you. You weren't human, so he didn't feel a twinge of guilt abusing the power he had over you– not when you cried and begged him to stop harming himself, not when you told him that he was ruining both your lives and certainly not when you desperately clung to his bleeding body, trying to keep the life from seeping out of him.

No, he felt no remorse. Dazai got just what he wanted. With each time he caused you pain his beliefs were reaffirmed– he was inhuman, cruel, unworthy of being alive. It was a vicious cycle, a dark road that spiraled down into the pits of hell and every week he went down that road, dragging you after him.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈•ﾟ｡

You laid on top of Dazai in the dirty tub, breathing slowly. The man outdid himself this time– you'd seen serial killers go lighter on their victims' bodies. 12 stabs to the gut. You barely managed to save him. You felt weak and helpless as you listened to the rhythmic sound of Dazai's heartbeat. The man ran his hand along your hip, chuckling softly. How could he laugh? How could he possibly be so joyful at a time like this? You've used up almost all your powers trying to save him and were almost as weak as him. Despite that, it was in your nature to love all souls, especially those under your protection, that's why the feeling was so sickening. You were bound to love someone who wished to die, someone who mocked the Gods every other Thursday and held you in his arms only to make you crumble "Angel..." he eventually spoke in a weak voice "How long do I have left?"

That question again, a sour reminder of what's to come. For once, you couldn't contain the tears that brimmed in your eyes and let then fall down your cheeks and onto the man's bare chest. Still, you couldn't lie "Twelve years" you babbled out in a broken voice. Twelve years of this hellish nightmare, 625 possible attempts, getting worse and worse with each passing week.

Dazai sighed, running a hand through your damp hair before tilting your head up to look at your face. Beautiful, you were so painfully beautiful. Seeing you like this, knowing that he was the one to cause you pain, made him feel oddly satisfied. He wasn't alone anymore. He gently cupped your cheek, brushing your tears away with his blood-stained thumb. His touch left a red, smudged mark on your cheek "I didn't know angels could cry"

You simply looked up at him in defeat, feeling yourself break down all over again. "We do, Osamu. We're more alike humans than you may think." "That's interesting..." he hummed, thinking of all those times he wanted to cry but couldn't. Not after Oda's death anyway. He looked down at your trembling body again– the glow you had the first time he saw you was almost gone now, your skin ghostly white and face shallow. He winced when one of his poorly healed wounds reopened and your sobs grew louder as you pressed one of your hands on the gash. This wasn't your usual divine, healing touch– it was the touch of a desperate person trying to save someone from bleeding out. The sheer pressure applied on his wound made him dizzy but it was nothing compared to the pain he felt when he saw the distraught look on your face; your features morphed into a mask of fear and madness, your eyes unfocused, like a deer caught in a trap. And he played the role of the sharp metal teeth tearing you apart.

For the first time since he met you, Dazai had a revelation: he felt guilty. Guilty that he let his selfish desires ruin a pure soul like you, that he was dumb enough to think he could break the laws of the universe. You were right, you were human, more human than he will ever be. There was no taking back the awful things he did but he could start by taking good care of himself and the precious gift of life you granted him– if not for himself, at least for you.

His vision blurred again as he began silently crying and he picked up his phone from the edge of the sink. Tapping a few keys he held his phone to his ear as he ran his free hand along your hip, trying to soothe you "911, yes. I need an ambulance at Ada's office. I've got some pretty nasty injuries that need to be treated"

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Anyways I'm bored BSD no nuance hot takes

Yosano could probably beat pretty much everyone in the series with the exception of Fukuchi bc. Y'know

Dazai's not that hard of a character to understand if you've had depression from a relatively young age

Chuuya's not an alcoholic

He is gonna have heart problems when he gets older though

Kyouka's mischaracterization is so blatant in fandom but basically never bought up

Naomi and Junichiro have relatively equal amounts of focused screentime and development and in fact Naomi shows more initiative separate from Junichiro than he does from her

Also the theory she's a manifestation of his Ability has already been disproven

idk if this is even a hot take. Mori's not a predator. It's annoying and inaccurate and also boring as fuck to insist he is.

People write Ranpo too nice. Ya'll he's an asshole let him act like one.

Any problems people have with how Kunikida 'treats' Dazai are the same as how Chuuya treats Dazai and there's like zero argument there

Dazai wouldn't self harm

Atsushi's a great main character, one of the most interesting in the series, and does his damn job AS the main character

Chuuya's a good character, yes. There are also other fucking characters in this damn series than him and Dazai

Oda and Dazai pedestalized one another; this wasn't a healthy dynamic. However Oda really did understand Dazai in the end of Dark Era and WAS the reason Dazai was able to better himself and move away from a path that was gonna kill him and was one of the only people who could have convinced him to better himself.

The ADA-PM trade isn't gonna happen

Kunikida is both a well developed and fascinating character who's behaviors stem from stress, trauma, and likely high functioning mental illness, and is not as predictable as fandom makes him out to be

Also this isn't even a hot take but neither he nor Teruko are perma dead

Akutagawa did in fact Do That Shit. He did in fact Think That Way. He's having development but he does still believe the weak deserve to die and is only now learning not to have his instinctive reaction be murder. Like he can do what he wants but the fact his development is so good is undercut if you ignore how he started.

Also the PM is like. Not a good place? For anyone? Like the characters are sympathetic and we've been made aware of the complexities surrounding how it benefits the city but also as an organization and structure it's not at all healthy and BSD is. Pretty clear about that.

This fandom is like definition of "why are you going for moral simplicity in the nuance store" or however that post goes credit to the postmaker

[originalaccountname]

anime Kunikida is too self-aware, let him be oblivious to his own ridiculous standards!!!!!!!!!!

[oishiyani]

🦐 ; Dazai Dazai Dazai

currently doing this before even going to bed cause why not?!😹

Dazai, a man baffled of himself- lost in the train of thoughts and questions he would love his other self- or if its possible to even meet an alternative world of him. to answer this spiraling feeling of ache and constant pouding burning in his chest.

Dazai, whom appears to his comrades- a flirtatious individual to others who he deemed to meet. an action of a habit he’d do to other ladies he crosses paths with. and my oh my, crossing upon you had him feeling like riding a rollercoaster.

you met him as an interactive, sweet-talk type of guy, a tone of sarcasm while he spoke about how much he wants you and longs for your love. you liked his humor indeed, as he kept entertaining you with such talks, you would respond either laughing or giggling at it. little did you know it became his drug.

it was unexpected for Dazai really. it all just happened in a bright day where he’d have your arm around your shoulder doing the talking while his eyes are set on you. hearing your laugh, your smile, the way you simply look at him. it makes the man himself flutter. a feeling of both of his foot flying away from the ground of the earth. heck it even feels like heaven is about to take him.

Dazai knows damn well he’s slowly falling in love with you, he’s so self-aware.. and yet he accepts this and doesn’t find himself to falter and furthers in reach to pursue your heart. you captured his, so why not his turn to capture yours too? to make it even for both of you.

now, now, dazai musn’t lose his composure around you. you were cool around him right? you surely wouldn’t notice? maybe? perhaps? the way he would sometimes stutter through his sentence, naturally he wouldn’t- but this time it was getting different.

you surely wouldn’t notice the way both of cheeks on his face turning into the shade of a sakura leaf when in close meter with you? oh he also hopes you don’t notice he would progressively be the shade of a tomato when you look at him with those pair of eyes he found to admire alot these past weeks.

his intense pumping heartbeat he tries to shadow, could you possibly hear it? the way his heart echoes your name. his mind clouding images of you. he can’t focus on work like this.. yes dazai a miracle to finally work on stacks of paperworks, yet again still not effective as a distraction. resulting kunikida scolding him again.

maybe cupid shot him so many times? was this a curse or a blessing? dazai will never know. but still he’ll continue, for you, and always you.

[lesbianyosano]

thinking about how kunikida is inarguably suicidal and yet how many people seem to miss this completely when discussing his character, likely bc the way he goes about it stands in complete opposition to how dazai deals with his own suicidal tendencies (disclaimer, i’m basing this of off what i can remember bc i’m too lazy to look for all these scenes rn)

because dazai is fully aware of his feelings, embraces them, really. all of his attempts are unambiguous and he talks about wanting to die a lot, but he also has strong self preservation instincts (if you can call it that). he rarely puts himself in immediate danger and strays away from pain. also all of his attempts (from what we’ve seen in the main manga at least) are highly ineffective (and he knows it) because he’s still hoping to find some reason to live, it’s a huge theme in his character arc (which doesn’t diminish how he feels or how serious his condition is)

but with kunikida is the complete opposite. first of all, he doesn’t seem to register how he feels as being suicidal. i would imagine it’s partly because of how strongly he associates the feeling with dazai, and he’s nothing like him so it can’t be that. but when you pay attention to how he acts it becomes clear that’s what’s going on with him. the helicopter scene is the prime example, how quick he is to throw his life away even when he doesn’t really have to (there had surely been different ways to deal with the hunting dogs then, i mean chuuya was right there), but this also comes up during the scene with aya when she’s first introduced. after the bomb thing gets resolved she asks him what he would have done if yosano didn’t come and he just.. smiles and tells her that he promised not to have people die in front him (i’m paraphrasing this bc i’m too lazy to find the chapter sorry). and it’s easy to miss i guess, but it’s still so chilling he basically admits that he’s rather die on the spot than have to deal with the guilt of not being able to save people. like that’s not,,,, a normal and healthy way to think. and then there’s also what jouno says to him (and again i’m paraphrasing), how his first involuntary reaction to the possibility of his friends dying was relief, with shame and fear coming afterwards. because if his friends are dead that means he can give up and die too.

so yeah uh, i think there’s something really wrong with him and most of these feeling seem to stem from guilt which makes me wonder what the hell happened to him that he’s now acting this was. asagiri release the forbidden backstory <\3

[starlightshadowsworld]

Bsd but Atsushi is a lot more aware, a lot more wary. And all the Agency want is to give him a home.

"Welcome to the Armed Detective Agency."

Atsushi shakes his head "No thanks." He's tired, too tired to deal with this right now. "I'm afraid I don't follow" says Fukuzawa, frowning and he wasn't the only one.

Dazai looks confused and Kunikida concerned.

"Listen, you guys seem nice and I'll pay you back for the meal" at that Atsushi briefly looks at Kunikida before looking back at Fukuzawa.

"But you don't want me." He says it so definitely, like no one could ever argue otherwise. "And why, would we not? You passed our exam" Says Fukuzawa and Atsushi shakes his head again.

He's slouching and keeping his head low, all in an effort to make himself smaller.

"You want the tiger, and no offence but that's stupid." Says Atsushi bluntly.

"The tiger is not your friend, not your ally. It's a wild and uncontrolled beast. You seem like a kind man who's surrounded himself by good people. You don't want this, it'll only spell despair got you all."

Fukuzawa is suprised to hear such, hatred in Atsushi's voice. Dazai knew Atsushi had a poor self image, but even this level of vitriol takes him by suprise.

As does the empty look in his eyes. When he'd met Atsushi he saw a bright light, one that's nowhere to be found.

"My ability can help others to keep control over theirs, and you've already seen Dazai's at work. Your ability will not cause us or yourself harm." Atsushi seems confused at that last part, and that breaks Fukuzawa's heart.

Why does a child look so confused at the idea of his own wellbeing being taken into account?

"I left one cage and I won't let you put me in another.." Says Atsushi, a growl in his voice. But it only betrays his fear. "The tiger doesn't like to be contained, and neither do I."

Atsushi shakes his head "and I didn't even know this was for an entrance exam." Dazai doesn't really want to pull the other card, it is underhanded but Atsushi needs to understand he's in danger.

"Atsushi, a bounty has been put on your head. The Port Mafia and other criminal organisations will be after you. The Agency can keep you safe from harm."

To Dazai's suprise Atsushi just shrugs. "And? What you think this is news to me? The Headmaster would tell me everytime I messed up he'd sell me to the highest bidder."

At that the entire Agency goes still with rage.

"I appreciate your help, but I'm good. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go before it gets dark." Says Atsushi, turning to leave.

"Atsushi, you said earlier we want the tiger. But what if we want you. You did pass after all, you seem like you'd be good here." Says Dazai.

Once again, Atsushi suprises him by laughing. It's harsh, cold and almost sarcastic. "We're serious" Says Fukuzawa, coming to back Dazai up. Atsushi looks at them for one of the few times during this meeting.

His eyes may be empty and cold, but they only show just how in pain he is.

"Don't lie to me. You want the tiger, it's the whole reason you guys were looking for me." Says Atsushi and Dazai nods "that's true, but circumstances change."

His voice becomes softer, gentle like he's talking to a scared animal, a scared child. "Is it so werid that we might actually like you and want you around?"

"No one wants me" Says Atsushi, his words hollow and borderline emotionless. "Not my parents not the Orphanage and definitely not you." He looks out the window, like he's reminiscing.

"I bring nothing but misfortune onto others. It's who I am, everyone wants the tiger but not me. Fyodor wants the tiger, the Guild or rather Fitzgerald wants the tiger, Shibusawa wanted the tiger. Everyone wants the tiger."

Atsushi looks Dazai dead in the eye.

"So do you. I can see it in your eyes. Don't lie to me, you all might be too nice to say it. But no ones ever wanted me, and that won't start now." And as those as his parting words, Atsushi leaves.

Fukuzawa raises a hand "let him go" he says. "But President, we can't let him just..." Says Kunikida and Fukuzawa nods. "I know, but all we'll now is scare him off. He has no reason to trust us, that is something we'll have to earn."

He's right but if still hurts to watch Atsushi run off.

Dazai can't help but be reminded of another thinks of another kid, now years older. One with dark red hair and piercing blue eyes full of distrust and anger.

Everyone wanted him for one thing too, a gift he couldn't quite control.

Dazai wants Atsushi to join, of course he does. Does he have a plan to put together a new Soukoko, of course he does

But does Dazai also see a hurt, terrified kid and want to help him? Yes. A kid who believes he's better off dead but wants nothing more than to live.

The President was right, they needed to gain Atsushi's trust. To show him that he was cared for, not simply for the beast underneath his skin.

Dazai knew he'd already gotten attached, so had Kunikida and everyone else who'd met the kid.

Maybe they all saw themselves in this lost boy.

And hopefully they could bring him back home.