#Season 2 really happened. jesus fucking christ. they were in love. oh my god.

[sunnibits]

just remembered edizzy mutual love confessions happened in canon

[cult-of-the-eye]

Mag 81 A Guest for Mr Spider

FUCK FORMER HEAD ARCHIVIST

Wait I need to check the timelines - this was 2 days after leitner's death

New spooky music???

My man is so fucking dramatic I love him so much "grand of sand behind my eye" love the way he speaks

Yeah FUCK JURGEN LEITNER

Omg the greying hair is canon??

Child in the 90s makes him at most 27 GOD DAMN. I was imagining like mid 30s...can you imagine a fucking 27 yr old using words like "ilk" when talking to you

Oh shit he's an orphan poor guy

Yeah ok a lot of his personality seems to make sense if you realise he was raised by his grandma

You know those memes that are like people raised by their grandparents are exceptionally polite but in a brisk way, talk fancy and are super posh? Yeah that's him.

Getting such neurodivergent vibes

Yeah he sounds like a main character from the start Jesus Christ he's such a kid who got traumatised and then grows up to be a horror protagonist vibes

My First Leitner lol like kids had to be introduced to them at a young age like those my first toys

He's so funny I can just imagine him as an 8 yr old getting super like affronted at this like how dare my grandma think I am of subpar intelligence he's such a little bitch from the start

"The eponymous Mr spider" even talking about his childhood trauma he's busting out the vocabulary

Fuck that story actually kinda rattled me I had my hand over my mouth in shock for most of it

I think it was the bit where the horsefly brought his son and they were both crying that got me, I could definitely imagine it scaring an 8 yr old

The way it drags out as well, with the pages of the same scene it really heightens the suspense

Is his childhood bully someone we should keep track of?? Love how he says Michael probably cause he sees him as a bully lol

It's interesting how despite him bullying him (quite badly seeing as though he beat him up) he's still like yeah but he saved my life and that means he deserves to be remembered

My bro didn't save your life on purpose, he was just trying to make it worse and happened to come to a terrible fate cause of that

I guess underneath it all he was still a kid who watched someone die, knowing they'd get eaten by a fucking spider, he still held him in some regard

The way he specified the guy was his bully even after he was being eaten though lol

He was desperate to get the book back? That's a leitner thing I guess, the book makes you want to keep it so it can finish whatever it wanted to do to you

On my relisten (which I will do once I've finished the series I'm sure of it), I'll have to look out for any reaction of leitners name

I wonder why Jon didn't react more to Carlos vittery's statement, like it must've terrified him? I saw a post a while back explaining Jon's thoughts and IT WAS GENIUS it was like of course he doesn't react, he must be terrified that someone knew about his experience and somehow did this to mess with him or it was a joke and he can't let anyone know that the Head Archivist is not Good at This ugh it's so good I'll tag it if I can find it

AHHHHH HE REGRETS DISMISSING THE OTHER STATEMENTS AHHHHHH

HE FINALLY ADMITS THAT HE NEEDS HELP WE LOVE THIS CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT YES YOU FUCKING DO BITCH.

yeah at least he's right about Elias killing leitner

GEORGIE THE EX GIRLFIEND

ITS SO WEIRD TO SEE HIM ACTUALLY NICE TO SOMEONE WOW HIS VOICE CHANGES SLIGHTLY AS WELL HES LESS ACADEMIC

THE ADMIRAL

Awwww he's so cute with georgie

GHOST PODCAST GHOST PODCAST

THE WHAT THE GHOST T SHIRT IS CANON???? AHH THATS SO CUTE

Can he not go back to his own flat?? Did he bring all his clothes to the archive and then subsequently leave them there? Does he even have a flat??

God Georgie is so nice I would kill for her

It's so funny that an apparent supernatural cynic dated a ghost podcaster

WOW SEASON 3 OFF TO AN AMAZING START I CANT WAIT TO KEEP LISTENING IM GONNA TELL MY THERAPIST ABOUT THIS TOMORROW!!!

[onesidedradiostatic]

helluva boss s1e7&8 reaction

season 1 finale let's gooo (REALLY GOOD STUFF???)

episode 7

OZZIE yes one of the characters I've been looking forward to seeing

"YOUR BORING AS FUCK MONOGAMY" HELP HE WANTS TO THREESOME WITH THEM SO BADLY

I love seeing some of these tiny hazbin details in the background

kinda funny how some hellborns are just chilling as the exterminations happen

they're so fucking toxic

wait at first I was like ANOTHER ROBO FIZZ but OH MY GOD is that ACTUALLY HIM????

oh yeah it's not asmodeus that blitzo doesn't wanna see huh

oh my god

ohhhh my god

oh my god

HEEEELP WHAT IS THIS

btw one of the things I already know is that fizzarolli and asmodeus are in a (secret?) relationship so I wanna be transparent about knowing that but of course don't know all the details

oh my god x5

oh my god (I'm not offering any insightful commentary I just have to screenshot all this ohm y god)

oh my god

okay yeah that was really good holy shit

OH MY GOD HIS FACE ALSDGMLSMGSHML

awww

honestly good on moxxie and millie for continuing their sappy love song even when fizzarolli and ozzie were screaming about lust LMAOSDIOHKOHSF

HELP LMAOOOOO

oh my god???

oh my god it's this picture

OH MY GOD?????

okay that. that was really good. best episode so far imo jesus christ. well another thing I know about is that blitzo and fizzarolli eventually do patch things up? so really looking forward to that, this is so good

episode 8

heard about this one getting delayed to hell cause of kesha LMAO

I love how awkward loona is here

I don't have much to say about this part, think I've seen some of the visuals cause of twitter back when it first released (so I don't really have any comments on beelzebub)

"she's hot" LMAO??????

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

NO

"CAN WE NOT TALK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW?"

awwww man

they are both NOT in good places right now LMAO

this is sweet

AND that's it for season 1, yeah things really started to pick up at the end here, that was really good, definitely definitely need to see more about stuff between fizz and blitzo, and the drama between blitzo and stolas is definitely getting interesting, and glad to see loona got some time to shine in this episode too

but yes, will start season 2 soon (not immediately probably idk), stay tuned 🫡🫡

[bisexualfemalemess]

BRIDGERTON SEASON 3 PT 2 SPOILERS

Live reaction episode 5:

I’m a little disappointed that we didn’t get to see Penelope’s answer to colin’s proposal but in my head she just straight up faceplanted outta that carriage. On another note, colin constantly looking back at her to check on her is peak protective husband. Colin ‘my wife’ bridgerton indeed. Also Penelope’s so loved by his family and not him being willing to fight Eloise, his own sister, like hold your horses buddy. El baby she’s loved him since you guys were children. Both are honestly valid and i love them both so much, i just need my peneloise besties back right now. Like so expeditiously. Awww, colin checking up on pen. He’s truly already so far gone. I’M SORRY THE TREE???? What the actual fuck???? Lady tilley arnold needs to get the fuck off my screen. I’ve never read the books but booktok and twitter made me love sophie already, i need her. Not pen listening to her family reading LW Lmaoo she seems so smug about it. EY LADY DANBURY HAPPY ABOUT POLIN THEY’RE SO LOVED BY EVERYONE. KANTHONY MY BABIES. MY PARENTS ARE GONNA BE ACTUAL PARENTS STFU. Anthony’s so feral for her 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 aww hyacinth is so excited to tell them about polin’s new engagement my daughter fr. HYACINTH OMG IJBOL NOT HER SAYING GREGORY’S THE FAMILY PET I’MMA DIE. Eloise baby she did not use you, she loves you and you love her so make up bitches. Cressida is so gay for eloise no one can tell me otherwise. OH MY GOD NOT THE BOOK LINE ABOUT HIS LOVE BEING A THUNDERBOLT FROM THE SKY SOMEONE SEDATE ME (might need to make a part two and i’m only 10 minutes in) they’re not even married yet and Benedicts like “your wives” she’s always been a bridgerton for real. PORTIA I AM INDIFFERENT TOWARDS YOU BUT BACK OFF FROM MY GIRLY AND DON’T MAKE HER DOUBT HER RELATIONSHIP. COLINS SO HOT TELLING PORTIA OFF SOMEONE GET ME SOME HOLY WATER OR SOMETHING JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. HE’S BEEN WITH HER FOR LESS THAN 24 HOURS AND HE’S ALREADY THROWING AROUND THE L-WORD OH HE FELL SO HARD FOR HER IMMA THROW MYSELF IN FRONT OF A MOVING TRUCK. MIRROR SCENE OH MY GOD OH MY GOD ALRIGHT ITS HAPPENING ITS HAPPENING OH HIS SPEECH IMMA KILL MYSELF IM SO SERIOUS. THIS IS PERFECT OH MY GOD, NICOLA COUGHLAN IS A GODESS AND THEIR CHEMISTRY IS SO PALPABLE. “LIE DOWN��� THAT WAS SO FUCKING HOT, COLIN BRIDGERTON CAN COMMAND ME AROUND ANY DAY. Sex scene, sex scene, sex scene….TO POV???? Oh, that’s such a beautiful song choice. This is literally so intimate, i feel like I’m intruding. Colin bridgerton is a canon consent man and as a woman i think that’s so sexy. That was the cutest sex scene of my life, cute, hot, awkward, everything a first time is supposed to be (i wouldn’t know🙊) KANTHONY SCENE. HES THE CUTEST ALL KISSING HER STOMACH. Newton and Anthony always beefing. Their so cute 😫😫😫. Awww John and Francesca are so cute as well. Awwww him asking about marriage 😖😖😖. VISCOUNTESS KATE IN ACTION MY BABY GIRL. She’s working overtime being pregnant, viscountess and giving eloise advice. She clocked peneloise’s tea. AWW Post-sex polin is the cutest with the book line too 🥹🥹🥹🥹 and the teasing!!! They’re truly so friends to lovers. NOT HER GETTING INTERRUPTED WHEN SHE WANTS TO TELL HIM SHE’S WHISTLEDOWN. FUCK ASS SERVANTS. Oh poor pen having to listen to her fiancé trash-talk her without knowing he’s taking about her, like i wouldn’t tell him i’m Whistledown either after this, bet. Also they literally have no sense of personal space and it’s too cute. Aww a colin and eloise talk. THEY WERE INSEPARABLE AND THEY NEED TO BE AGAIN SOON OR IMMA DO SOMETHING SO DRASTIC I SWEAR TO GOD. Peneloise as bestie sister-in-law’s is something that i need so bad it’s like not even funny anymore. Penelope’s sister need to leave her the fuck alone and portia needs to leave her ulterior motives at the door even penelope was like what the hell is going on. I don’t really mind will and alice plot honestly they’re just a cute married couple, much like polin will be. OH MY GOD NOT BENEDICT CALLING KATE SISTER IM DYING IM DECEASED. THAT FUCK ASS TOP HAH OH MY LORD. NOT COLIN CALLING PENELOPE HIS BRIDE TO BE 🫠

[slapjacq]

Thoughts as I listen to s1 ep6-while you were hypersleeping 2:

Ep 6:

MF WHAT-

HOW WAIT WHAT WHATS GOING ON-

KAREN GIRL WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE???

KAREN? WIAR WHAG-

WHAG THIS FUCKING EARLY

WARREN WAIT DUDE WTF ARE YOU IN FOR

Someone needs to punch someone else this instant and, specifically, I think Warren should be able to sock this Clive dude in the face

HOLY SHIT HE DID

SO MANY QUESTIONS JESUS

HES FOING BACK TO SLEEP WHAT-

While you were hyper sleeping (whole mini series):

GORDON I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

he’s me fr

oh Warren this poor fucker bro is not having a good time

Clive is such an asshole and I can’t help but love his antics

Also the Shining references both thematically and just from the dialogue is top tier shit to me

S2 ep1:

44 FUCKING YEARS

AND THEY WERE LESBIANS

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BOY GORDON I JUST GOT ATTACHED WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS-

I feel like I’m spiraling through space and time good fucking lord

ep 2:

Oh okay wait I think I’m getting it now

Oh Christ the dead frozen body??? Always when I’m eating never when I’m chilling

Oh god oh what the fuck are those sounds

I have zero trust in ms ma’am Bryony and she should be allowed to do everything I may not trust her but I trust the shit she does. She’s batshit, she’s insane, but by god would I follow her to the ends of the earth.

oh wait wow no she’s crazy crazy slay

Also poor Gordon just keeps going through it

And shoutout my pet hamster Warren this mf is just dying and then dying all over again isn’t he

Ep3:

Warren isn’t girlbossing his way through, he’s just fucking dissociated. Lemme tell you I cannot blame the man.

OH AND HES GONE MF LMAO

HES LOVES SNOW

MAZDA BONGO FRIENDEE LETS GO BOYS IT WAS AUBREY THE WHOLE TIME

Shoutout absurdism ig

“I think I scared the shit out of him” what is with insane women scaring the shit out of pathetic archivists in podcasts

Also the fact that all of the ladies in this show are absolutely insane is just so dear to me. And not just like feral insane, but like victor Frankenstein insane anyways shoutout Mary Shelley. Forces of nature to be dealt with but just the forces of nature are making these ladies need shoulder rubs from their girlfriends or hands on therapy (aka threatening some loser with a saw)

Ep 4:

Warren you nutjob bless you and your crazy ass

The fact that Gordon is somehow the more sane one out of two is so funny and an insane leap from what the dynamic was between these two a season ago.

YES GET THAT MF A TORTOISE

Aubrey is so fucking right though, like trauma jokes aside how truly well adjusted could one be after the mind fuck that is hyper sleep plus the absolute insanity of dreamlike memories just peppered in between it all.

Like I distinctly remember having a really long dream where I woke up like 16 different times. And everytime for some variation of time something happened between each time I woke up and like that fucked me up for a good week. That being said I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO IMAGINE what it must be like to have that happen to you in real life. That just sounds like such a fucking trip Jesus

CHANNEL MF 6

While you were sleeping 2:

My head is gonna explode from the exposition so far. Plus my ✨gummy✨ just started working.

Honestly from what I’ve heard from other people, those within STEM jobs are pretty incestuous with their work. Most specialty jobs are. There’s always gonna be recycling, mainly because theres never enough funding to make the world go round so I mean yeah

Bryony is THAT BITCH though

She knows it too. Good for her.

Yeah I think that’s enough for tonight.

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials Season 3 - Full Season Thoughts

When I say that I’ve been waiting for this not just for two years since S2 but also for 15-ish years since I read the book, I truly am not exaggerated, I just know that I’m going to be a MESS and bawling at the end of it.

Warning: not only for spoilers under the cut but also because I’m fangirling AND screaming a lot about this series so… yep! Be prepared!

Episode 1: The Enchanted Sleeper

I HAVE MISSED THIS SHOW SO FUCKING MUCH

AMBER SPYGLASS ADAPTATION HERE WE GO 10 YEAR OLD ME IS CRYING SCREAMING SHAKING THROWING UP

Will looking for Lyra 😭❤️

The fact that in her dream-state, the first thing Lyra asked for was Pan, and me knowing what’s coming??? Oh, this season will truly break my damn heart-

ROGER ROGER ROGER 😭😭😭😭

THE TITLE CREDITS CHANGED AND I SAW THE LAND OF THE DEAD AND HARPIES AND ALSO THE MULEFA ASDFGHJKL

DADDY ASRIEL BELACQUA IS BACK ASDFGHJKL

Stelmaria is so bloody beautiful, oh my god, Asriel truly has such a beautiful dæmon

THE GALLIVESPIANS ASDFGHJKL HOLY FUCK EVERYONE ITS ALL COMING TOGETHER

Am admittedly a little disappointed they’re not riding dragonflies or anything

ASRIEL IS WAGING HIS WAR IT’S HAPPENING

I’m so ridiculous, I fangirled seeing Ama because I was like “I REMEMBER HER FROM THE BOOK”

The BSL between Mrs Coulter and Ama omg I was not expecting that but I was literally captivated the entire time they were on-screen, 11/10 choice

Pan weakly asking Mrs Coulter to let them go 😭 also hi Kit Connor, I keep forgetting you’re the voice of Pan in this series

Why is Father Gomez… hot tho 💀

THE GAY ANGELS KISSED THIS IS GOD TIER FUCKING CONTENT GOD FUCKING BLEEEESSSSS

Baruch and Balthamos, yet another reason my heart is going to fucking shatter tonight

Ogunwe’s eldest daughter being “soulless” and Asriel explaining it by explaining his and Stelmaria’s bond and saying what happened to the girl is the same as cutting his dæmon/soul away 😭

Lyra managing to escape but she’s so weak that she didn’t get far and Marisa caught her 😔

The mother-daughter dynamic is so interesting in such a messed up way, like Marisa truly thinks what she’s doing is right and will protect Lyra but also her method of keeping her daughter safe is to drug her and keep her asleep in a cave/hideaway somewhere, truly unstable and unhealthy parenting techniques here

Ama saw her chloroforming Lyra oh my god 😦

IOREK LOOKING FOR LYRA OH MY GOD 😭 HE LOVES HER SO MUCH I LOVE ONE BEAR DAD AND HIS HUMAN DAUGHTER

Will really sliced Iorek’s helmet like it was butter, no wonder Iorek was like “nope I’m not fighting I can’t fight a knife that does that to my armour”

Not Father Gomez sniffing Mrs Coulter’s (?) dress 💀

Oh no no no not the spy fly things being sent after Mrs Coulter, Jesus H-

Marisa telling the monkey to leave her alone and he just doesn’t??? Like he wants to try and comfort her but doesn’t know how, and he doesn’t say anything but she knows what he’s thinking??? Their dynamic is so messed up, I love it

“Welcome to the Republic of Heaven, Commander” CHILLS LITERAL CHILLS

They ended the episode with an “in memory of” for Helen McCrory (the voice of Stelmaria in S1&2) and I nearly started bawling oh my god

Episode 2: The Break

“Nearly 400 years with Baruch must have mellowed me” - OH MY GOD T H E M

“We feel as one, though we are two” - THEY ARE SO…?!? THIS IS BEAUTIFUL ASDFGHJKL

“And you’ll find a way to protect the one you love” - 😭😭😭

SPYFLY?!

I know it’s been three years since the end of S1 aired and obviously the young actors grow fast, but damn is Roger’s voice deeper than when he died

“They’re hurting me” - NOOOOOOOOOO

“Just tell me where you are and I’ll find you!” “... The Land of the Dead” - FUCK ME

Lyra screaming for Roger like that, I feel so sick

Pan’s little ermine noises are so cute omg

“Where did you go? I... I couldn’t follow you there.” (Pan to Lyra) - NOT THE FORESHADOWING, JUST RUN ME THROUGH WITH A KNIFE AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD FUCKING HURT LESS JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

QUEEN RUTA SKADI AAAAAAHHHHH

“It would take more than a little crash to put an end to the pair of us” - I swear to fucking god, if this is more foreshadowing-

(it’s been a few years since I read TAS, okay, give me a break if I’ve forgotten anything)

AAAHHHH MARY MALONE I MISSED YOU

Wait did she just walk into Ogunwe’s camp???

“Something happened here a few days ago and now they’re everywhere” - WHAT ARE??? IS IT THE BUZZING???

The way I tensed up seeing Marisa approach Ama jesus christ i do NOT trust that woman

Also Ama’s outfit reminded me of Lyra’s Jordan College outfit from the film, like the red pinafore and blue dress underneath I mean

ROKE??? AND HE MENTIONED LADY SALMAKIA AAAAHHHHHHH

“When is Lyra not in danger?” - LMFAO true though

“You dismiss Lyra too easily” - Exactly, thank you Stelmaria! Was not expecting her to come through for Lyra but I’m pleased!

“Eve was the Mother of Creation, Lyra is simply the creation of Marisa and I. She is not Eve, she’s a little girl” - OOF

“She must have some information they need or some skill we’ve overlooked.” “Other than being able to read the Alethiometer, she has very little, I’m afraid... other than a nose for trouble” - DAMN ALRIGHT CHILL ASRIEL

The way that Stelmaria snarled so angrily at him talking about Lyra like that oh my GOD

“What??? What would you like me to say?” “The truth.” - FUCK YEAH, Stelmaria, call out your human like that!

“There are angels above the camp” - OOH SHIT

“What are they doing?” “They’re fighting” - OH FUCK WAIT I THINK I REMEMBER THIS NO-

I AM NOT READY TO LOSE BARUCH YET NO NO NO NO FU-

“He’s leaving us” — NO FUCK OFF FUCK OFF I FUCKING CANT DO THIS TODAY-

“My Balthamos” - IM NEVER GOING TO RECOVER FROM THIS, NEVER, THIS IS TOO PAINFUL

HIS LAST WORD WAS “BALTHAMOS” I AM GOING TO SCREAM

Yes we got gay angels kissing but at what cOST 😭😭😭😭😭😭

BALTHAMOS FEELING IT WHEN BARUCH DIES ASDFGHJKL NO I CANNOT COPE, IM GONNA BE SICK, THIS IS SICK, PHILIP PULLMAN IM HIDING UNDER YOUR BED

“This is your fault… you forced me to come here! I wanted us to stay together, I wanted to go with him! They’ve killed him!” - literally STAB ME, it would hurt FAR less 😭

Father Gomez is so hot but he has a spider dæmon so it’s a hard no from me 🙈

“I once killed an innocent young boy in order to harness it (Dust)” - yeah, and we still haven’t FUCKIN forgiven you 

Not Asriel straight up torturing Alarbus in his Dust experimenting chamber :l though he DID kill Baruch so...

“You think you’re significant - He does not even know your name” - DAMN, what a sick burn

“We have a life in the resistance; we can read, write, learn... all those things are forbidden by the temple, especially for-” “Girls.” - oh damn. It’s obvious that this is a commentary on teachings by the church or whatever, especially how it used to be in the past. (My brain is tired so I can’t do full analysis, but I’m sure other people out there will do it better than me)

The girls wanting Mary to stay “to rest” and then asking her about why she’s looking for the girl while pouring her a drink... feels very ominous to me and I hope I’m wrong

(Spoiler alert: I was wrong)

The Magisterium straight up sending out a death squad to kill Lyra, Jesus Christ it’s almost hilarious how far gone they are that they can’t see why killing a teenage girl is wrong, like mother of sin or not, that is still a teenage girl

Will to Iorek: You attract too much attention - YOU DON’T SAY LMAO HE’S LITERALLY AN ARMOURED BEAR

Of course Balthamos knows sign language, that literally makes so much sense because he’s an angel so of course he’d know literally every language in history - and so of course he appears and translates because she can’t hear Will and he doesn’t sign. I love it

I know only a small amount of BSL but I felt so happy when I was able to read Balthamos signing “W-I-L-L” and Ama finger-signing her own name

“But no mother could possibly be this cruel.” “This mother would.” - DAAAAAAAMN

She’s growing sunroot, which is a waking medicine oh my gOD I love Ama, she is truly an icon in her own right even though she’s only in two episodes

Will smiling a little when he sees Lyra sleeping :’)

THE WAY I JUMPED AT MARISA’S VOICE OMG

“I always suspected that you were coming, but I didn’t think you’d be the first” - oh my god, she KNEW Will would come sooner or later, she knows how much he cares for Lyra

Her offering him tea and my first thought being “do NOT drink anything she gives you, do NOT do it”

“I’m keeping her here because I’m her mother, and I love her” - BITCH, you’re straight up drugging her, mother or not you are NOT showing your love in a healthy way

See, I get that she says she’s trying to keep Lyra safe because she knows the Magisterium want her dead, but like... drugging her? Keeping her there against her will? Ma’am, please-

“Because she hates me, Will, and if I woke her she’d run” - damn I’m not surprised, you’ve not exactly been the most loving of mothers at this point

“Wouldn’t your mother do the same for you? A child needs their mother. You understand that, Will. You need your mother” - oh NO, no, no, do NOT bring up Mrs Perry!!!

“And here’s the trick they never tell you: your mother needs you” - oh she’s a goddamn SNAKE

“You promise that you’re keeping her safe? That you’ll carry on keeping her safe?” - Will, nOOO do NOT leave her there

Oh, she nearly CRAPPED herself when he mentioned going to Asriel

“I have seen them together; where one goes, the other follows” - literally everyone else notices it, they’re really not subtle

“You would use your own daughter as a trap?” - yeah, no, that really doesn’t shock me at this point, the man has no fuckin morals anymore

Oh okay PHEW, Will actually has a plan and isn’t just blindly trusting Marisa, I’m resting a little easier now

“I’m counting my steps - we’ll return by them in another world” - OH SHIT HERE WE GO

Nah, that monkey is STILL giving me the chills, fucking hate that monkey so bad

“Your mind is muddled” - this episode has featured so much Stelmaria calling Asriel out, and that’s content I’m honestly living for

Marisa giving the monkey a massive rock and going “do your worst”... AND THEN SHE LOWERED HER HEAD AND HE SMACKED HER OVER THE HEAD WITH IT WHAT IN THE FUCK IS GOING ON I LITERALLY GASPED, like she clearly was telling him to do it but WHYYYYY???

Ama was so ready to go with Will and help him, we have to stan

So now Marisa looks battered and bruised...? I’m guessing she’s got some kind of plan here???

Ohhhh okay, I get her plan now: she looks all beaten up, she tells Gomez that Will has come and taken Lyra, it looks like Will has hurt her when he stole Lyra, Gomez will then hopefully leave thinking that she doesn’t still have Lyra... got it. Bit extreme to have your dæmon beat the shit out of you though

“You know, he had several hundred miles and the boundaries between worlds to cross, and yet... he still managed to get here before you. Bravo.” - LMFAO the shade

“... I am going to take Lyra now, Mrs Coulter” - Oh he didn’t fall for it in the slightest lmao he was like “well, at least you tried”

“you gave her the terrible punishment of her existence” is such a cruel line, jesus christ my dude

He’s not even trying to hide the fact that they want to murder her daughter omg

THE WINDOW IS FORMING ASDFGHJKL WILL IS COMING

Is she trying to distract Gomez so he doesn’t see Will and the knife?!? Is she actually doing something good???

Pan hopping into Will’s coat pocket omg that’s so cute I love it

THAT MONKEY IS FERAL

SHE WHACKED HIM OVER THE HEAD OH MY GOD

“Oh dear… perhaps you were right about that strength” - LMAO she’s so iconic

Not Marisa thinking she’s coming with him and Lyra 💀 I don’t know whether I feel sorry for her or not at this point

“Do you think it’s that easy to dispose of me? Is that what you do, Will? Was your mother as easily disposed of? Where did you leave her?” - ACTUALLY NAH YOU KNOW WHAT, I don’t feel sorry for her at all

His mind isn’t empty enough, she’s distracting him, he’s gonna break the knife 😭😭😭

THE KNIFE BROKE I KNEW IT WAS COMING BUT DAMN

NOT HER THREATENING WILL WITH A GUN AND LYRA STANDING IN FRONT OF HIM TO PROTECT HIM

AH THE GALLIVESPIAN STINGING HER YESSSSS

The airships shooting at them and Iorek immediately jumping to defend them I’m-

“Iorek’s here?” - YES, HE LOVES YOU SO MUCH 😭

Ama jumping on that soldier and Will killing him before he can kill her I’m-

Asriel really arrived super late to the party, literally all the fighting is over and done with 💀

Ohhhh he’s seen Marisa 👀

Lyra taking Will’s hand as they lie together under the stars 😭❤️

Episode 3: The Intention Craft

I’m gonna try to keep my notes a little bit briefer because it took me two hours to watch a 57 minute episode on episode 2 :’( this is 8 hours worth of tv, it’s currently 00:20 am and we’ve only done two episodes so... yeah

NOT THE SHOT OF THE DÆMON (presumably Pan) ALONE ON A DOCK ASDFGHJKL; YALL THIS IS SICK

“Whatever happens... we’ll be together” - having read the book is both a blessing and a curse because on the one hand I’m somewhat able to prepare myself beforehand but on the other I KNOW how painful this is about to be and I can’t stand it

Oooh Marisa is Asriel’s prisoner :O

I think Asriel is enjoying having her as his prisoner a bit TOO much

The way he was right behind her, so close he was literally breathing on her neck as he tied her up... asdfghjkl;

“You could be standing here beside me, you know” - NOT THE MARISA/ASRIEL FEELS asdfghjkl

*taking her necklace in hand* “still wear this?” - ASDFGHJKL did he give that to her?? Or is it just one of those “oh you still wear this?” things???

“How could you and I have produced another Eve?” - no but same, I’m still wondering that lmfao

Not him calling Lyra a “wretched girl” and acting like it’s her fault Marisa turned up to whisk her away?!

Did they collar and chain up her monkey dæmon too??? Damn, he knows her well lmao

“You seem different.” “So do you.” “...you’re staring.” - oh my gOD

Not Salmakia spying on them :’) “I haven’t been hiding, you just haven’t been looking” LMAO

“How do I know you won’t cut into another world?” - umm because the knife’s broken??? It ain’t cutting shit right now

Ahhh she’s got her Alethiometer back! All is right with the world :3

“Since he’s died, I’ve done none of the things he’s asked me to do” - awww Will :(

Are we gonna meet the Mulefa this episode? The next one? :O

“Because Roger’s dead body was in a cage! In a cage that he made, he killed him!” - when she puts it like that, I’m not shocked she wants nothing to do with Asriel anymore, damn

“to work alongside a murderer?!” - 1) Will is a murderer? 2) The reason she trusted Will was because the Alethiometer told her he was a murderer?? But I get what she means

I don’t like when Will and Lyra argue :( 

“Lyra is pushing him to do things he doesn’t want to do.” “Oh, she is her mother’s daughter!” “You don’t trust her?” “She’s also mine.” - LMFAO TRUE ENOUGH

The device Asriel is using to communicate with Salmakia with is so cool omg

Father MacPhail really just sitting there in the dark all like “where have you gone??” I think he’s losing it a little

RED PANDA PAN AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

“You’re not always right, you know that?” - LMAO I love Lyra and Pan so much

“Your father was right about you - you are insufferable” - OOF DAMN

NOT THEM LEADING THE MONKEY ON A CHAIN LIKE A DOG 

At least they gave her new clothes I guess?

“I have been the worst mother in the world” - NO SHIT

“I didn’t think of her for years - and if I did, it was only to regret the embarrassment of her birth, the humiliation-” “Ridiculous! I have never understood why a child born of our love should be a humiliation!” “An illegitimate child and a murdered husband! That is quite something to carry on my back” -- Damn, this trial literally just became a couple’s counselling session for Marisa and Asriel??? And Asriel straight up admitting he loved her??? That they loved each other??? 

I will not ship them, I will NOT ship them, I WILL NOT-

“What if Iorek’s not there?” “He wouldn’t leave without me” - AND WE ALL KNOW IT ASDFGHJKL

“I know it wasn’t real, but once or twice I woke up and she was holding me... never been held before” - I’M NOT CRYING YOU ARE-

IOREK AND LYRA REUNITING, HER HUGGING HIM IM SOBBING ACTUALLY I LOVE ONE GIRL AND ONE BEAR-

There’s something very special to me about Lyra sitting against Iorek’s flank, I can’t explain how soft it is

“Huh, still a Silvertongue” - asdfghjkl; he’s the one who gave her that name, it’s literally a title he bestowed on her, I love it :’)

Oh no, is Dr Cooper the one from Bolvanger??? Am I remembering correctly???

“Ah yes... you always were easily impressed by what he made” - DAMN I should NOT have cackled like I did

I can’t get over how charged the scenes between Asriel and Marisa are, my goodness-

“The inventor of hideous machines, capable of tearing children apart” - you’re one to talk, remember what you did to Roger????

“But along comes some foul mouthed arrogant little brat with dirt under her fingernails, and ohhh you can love her! You cluck and you settle your feathers over her like a mother hen-” - JESUS I’M-...?!?

The way he slammed her up against the intention craft after she spat at him, his hand on her face... I thought they were gonna kiss, holy SHIT

“Every hideous thing that you’ve done in his name... and it was all a lie” - DAMN, this episode is cutting so deep in all the best ways

It’s the way I know what’s going to happen, I know the knife is fixed, and yet I’m still nervous

“Find what matters!” *glances to Lyra* - oh they are NOT slick, they’re so obvious about this and I’m all for it

Imagine being Will and waking up to see a massive looming bear standing over you, omfg

YAY, the knife is fixed! (I knew it would be but still) I love that it looks more twisted, at least in my opinion

“You will always be a welcome visitor to Svalbard, and the same is true to you, Will. You are worthy of each other. Goodbye, Lyra Silvertongue - I hope we do meet again one day.” - NOT ME CRYING OVER AN ARMOURED BEAR’S RELATIONSHIP WITH A GIRL

Now why is Asriel showing the prisoner angel to Marisa, no good will come of this-?

“He’s beautiful.” “Everyone’s beautiful.” - this plus the way he keeps leaning and shit around her... at this point, everything Asriel has done this episode just straight up seems like him flirting with Marisa lmao

Eyyyy Balthamos is back!!!

Balthamos: so, you ready to go to Asriel yet? // Will: LOL sorry nope 

And just as soon as he was back, he went away again :O

“my mum’s always said if a friend needs help, you should give it” - Will Parry is his mother’s son through and through :’)

“That no doubt depends.” “On what?” “What Asriel does to him.” - oh god he’s gonna fucking kill that angel and cause more chaos, I can feel it

NOT ASRIEL AND MARISA TEAMING UP TO TORTURE THE ANGEL AND DESTROY HIM

Damn even Marisa looks kinda freaked out by Asriel torturing the fucking angel oh my god

LMAO SHE RAN SO FAST TO THE INTENTION CRAFT 

“Goodbye Asriel” should NOT have hit me so hard, oh my goodness

Yeah, no, I don’t think the knife can cut through to the land of the dead? Which makes sense all things considered

OH, the last world he could cut to before the land of the dead is the desert wasteland one from Lyra’s dreams! :O

Pan like “wait, this doesn’t feel safe” and backing away whimpering :’(

IS THE SAD THING GONNA HAPPEN NEXT EPISODE NO NO NO I CANT HANDLE IT

I thought we’d have until like episode 6 or something :’(

Episode 4: Lyra and Her Death

Judging from the title of this episode... FUCK I AM NOT READY WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE’RE AT THIS POINT ALREADY

(If it’s not this episode then it’ll probably be the next one, either way I’m not READY)

Pan: *whimpering* // Lyra: Pan, stop that - :’(

“Then where are everyone’s dæmons?” “We’ve been in plenty of worlds without dæmons before, just get in my pocket and we’ll be fine.” “There are people here who should have dæmons but don’t.” - PAN IS GONNA MAKE ME SOB THIS EPISODE ASDFGHJKL

Not Marisa running straight back to the Magisterium jesus christ girl why

“Good. This is good.” - NO IT FUCKING ISN’T LYRA

“How long do we wait?” “Until you die, of course!” - well, I mean, it IS the land of the dead so...

I genuinely cannot tell what is going on in Gomez’s head at this point O_o he’s so creepy

“Somewhere out there is a tempter, a serpent, and I had to keep them from meeting” - but here’s the thing: the angel told Mary that she was to play the role of serpent, and she and Lyra have already met. But also, Marisa maybe thinks the serpent is Will, which adds a whole new layer to this whole situation???

“And the way he (Asriel) is fighting, Hugh... it’s is terrifying” - oh look, me and Marisa agree on something for once!

“Sometimes your devotion is hard to read” - lmao true

“You have my mind, my body, and my soul (...) He could never resist temptation, whereas you... your abstinence is magnificent” - exCUSE ME WHAT MARISA????

I deadass thought he was about to try and force himself on her then

“Remember what we did together... our lives are entwined” - UMMMM??? I’m not the only one reading into that in a slightly sexual way, right??

Who knew that the waiting area in the land of the dead was like your everyday doctor’s waiting room, complete with grating elevator music??

I both want to know what’s in the chest Gomez gave Marisa and I also do not want to know O_o “it’s how we found you, a kind gift”?

Is there some generational mother-daughter trauma theme going on here or...? Because she said “mother” and he said “she was only too happy to help”, and her response was “of course she was”?

Is Mary in the Mulefa world right now???

“Feels like we’re in a horror film.” “... Why would you want to watch a film that makes you feel horrible?” “...You make a good point.” “I like the film with the bear.” - ASDFGHJKL, THIS WHOLE CONVERSATION XD Also the reference back to S2 where they were watching Paddington omg

“Everyone has a Death. Goes everywhere with them, all their life long.” (Lyra: Isn’t that scary?) (Larissa(?): Not at all, dear. It’s natural) “From the moment you’re born... your Death comes into the world with you. And it’s your Death that takes you out. There’s love in that.” - Pan’s little face :’(

“When you’re ready, they say it’s beautiful. Your Death says, ‘easy now, easy child, you come along with me’. And you go with them, to the boat and the boatman.” - not me getting emotional over the talk of death, fuck me-

Pan retreating back into Lyra’s pocket sadly, like he KNOWS he won’t be allowed to go with them, I hate it here-

DAMN, Marisa slaying in that purple dress with heels, holy shit-

“If you won’t stop...” “You’ll do what, exactly?” *dramatic music stops* “... I’ll fetch support.” “Good. We all need support.” - BAHAHAHAAHAHA This show is a fucking comedy at times oh my god

The fact that any part of the dæmon guillotine design is being reused is horrendous, let alone as a fuckin BOMB

“*casually* Oh. They’re here for me.” - LMAO

“Wait: can we talk about this?” - Will asking the REAL questions here omg let’s not do this please

Lyra: You were on my side. // Pan:... I thought I was by your side.” - STOP RIGHT NOW FUCK YOU

Lyra’s Death is there?!?! And she’s just leaving Will?!

Pan running after Lyra as she walks with her Death, I’m about to sob

Not them taking a lock of Lyra’s hair from Marisa while she sleeps??? And her sending Roke after Gomez, she was pretending to be asleep asdfghjkl

They’re using the lock of Lyra’s hair that Marisa has kept to aim the bomb at Lyra?!? Jesus fucking Christ, and they still think they’re the good guys here???

“I’m always here. I’ve followed you your entire life. I am a special devoted friend who’s been beside you every moment of your life. Who knows you better than anyone. Who knows you better than even you know yourself.” - oh shit

Also Pan being like “that’s not true!”, like he’s so offended by her Death saying that when he’s right there

If I remember correctly, wasn’t Lyra’s Death male in the book? Or...?

“I don’t want to be exceptional. Maybe once I did. My parents... that’s all they care about. I just want to be good. I just want to help someone, and Roger needs me... and I wasn’t there the last time he needed me.” - oh my heart is hurting so bad right now because in S1E02 I’m pretty sure she said to Pan that no one ever thought they’d be exceptional etc, and also the fact she still feels guilt for Roger’s death :’(

I’ve spent 15 years trying to imagine what a mulefa looks like... and now finally I know! Oh my goodness?!?! And it brought Mary food?!?

“You take me into the BEST places, you know that?” - LMAO Will’s so funny when he wants to be

“What else is there left to do?” Oh, I don’t know, Doctor Cooper, maybe NOT make a fricking bomb??? Also eyyyy Roke stung her!

“Arrogance. Sheer arrogance. I underestimated them” - yeah, no kidding, Marisa

Oof Marisa’s on a damn warpath, she’s gonna destroy the Magisterium and I’m so here for it

“What if we don’t come back?” “Then we’ll have died doing something important” - I’m way too emotional for this episode, I’m already losing my mind and emotions and I know it’s just going to get worse and worse :’(

Marisa calling out MacPhail as a sinner oh this is delicious the tea is so delicious today

“You have no right here; you are a wanton woman who has always wanted what she didn’t have. Your husband was killed by your lover, the heretic Asriel, and your illegitimate child was abandoned until she became sin itself.” - OH DAMN

“You will address me as Father President or Your Grace” - damn, man is on a freaking power trip?!?!

“I’m sorry? This is where your loyalty lies? Not with that above? Not with truth but with power?” - Marisa is spilling ALL the truth today oh my lord she did not come to play around

“This is all you really are: an incoherent, emotional woman. Why should anyone trust you? You can barely string a sentence together” - OH YOU LIL BITCH I’M ABOUT TO THROW THESE HANDS

He took her locket?!? 

“And when we sever your dæmon, you will be the bullet to kill Lyra Belacqua and to save us all from sin” - on the one hand, isn’t it ironic that her own dæmon severing technology is about to be used on her? But on the other, this man is one cruel motherfucker and I’m raging right now, FUCK this dude

“Take her to the cells... and bring her dæmon to me” - nah man, I’m about to be sick, fuck these motherfuckers. Fucking MEN, AM I RIGHT

Oh no. Oh no no no we’re at the docks and Pan is whimpering already I’m not strong enough today for this-

“I’m sorry, one of your party is unsuitable for travel at this time” - NO NO NO NO NO NO NO-

“We have to follow the rules. A pain, but necessary. No passage. Not for him.” “But he is me.” “If you come, he must stay.” “I don’t think you understand, if we separate we die.” “But isn’t that what you want?” - I’m really about to be crying at 2:30am over Lyra and Pan again aren’t I????

Pan running away because he knows Lyra will follow and he thinks it will stop it from happening, my HEART

“No, that’s not right, I don’t leave part of myself behind, why should she?” “Yes, you do, absolutely, you do. It’s her misfortune - or luck - to be able to see and talk to the part she must leave. You will not know until you are in the water, and by that time fortunately - or unfortunately - it will be too late for you to do anything about it. But you must all leave that part of yourselves here.” - NO NO NO NO NO I’m just going to keep chanting it until it stops fUCK

“We’re gonna get on the boat. Don’t worry.” “Lyra, you’re not listening to him, he won’t let us.” - AND LYRA BRINGING PAN ON THE BOAT TRYING TO CONVINCE HIM :’(((( she even tries to pull the thing herself but she can’t, I’m siCK-

“We can’t separate... we can’t...” :( :( 

“I’ve taken millions across... none have come back.” “We will. You don’t know Lyra and you don’t know me, but we’ll find a way. Another way. So since we’re doing that, be kind, boatman. Let her take her dæmon.” - Will trying so hard to get them to take Pan, even brandishing the knife, but it’s not happening asdfghjkl

“How many ages do you think I’ve been ferrying people? Do you think if anything could hurt me, it wouldn’t have happened already? You think the people I carry come with me gladly?! No, they struggle, they cry, they bribe, they threaten, they fight! Nothing works!” - :(

The entirety of the Lyra and Pan exchange had me outloud sobbing, clutching my chest in pain, I’ve got to share it all with you...

Lyra: I don’t want you leave you here.

Pan: We can still turn around.

Lyra: But I can’t not do this.

Pan: You can, Lyra.

Lyra: What about Roger? And Sal? They never got a chance to grow up.

Pan: But it’s not Roger and Sal, is it? Roger’s dead, and Sal is gone! And it won’t be Lyra and Pan, you’re leave me here, alone! What will I do?

Lyra: But our dreams…

Pan: I didn’t have those dreams! They were your dreams, I didn’t even want to come here! This is your choice!

Lyra: But we’re together…

Pan: Not if you do this.

Lyra: Please… I can’t betray Roger. It’s my fault he’s dead and now he needs me.

Pan: I need you too! Why can’t you see that? … Where will I go?

Lyra: I’ll find you… okay? I will go to the Land of the Dead and I’ll come back, and I’ll find you. I’m not leaving you… ‘Kay? I’m not leaving you, not forever. Will and me will find a way out of here, and we’ll go to Asriel’s, somehow you’ve got to get there too, but I have to do this.

Pan:… Then you’ve made up your mind. You’ve chosen Roger over me.

Lyra: No, Pan… please don’t, don’t… please… there’s no other way. I’ve got to… I love you.

Pan:… Just… go.

The way Lyra turned her head to watch him, the way Pan came up to the very edge of the dock and started crying, the two of them watching each other as they drifted further and further apart, the soundtrack... I am a fucking MESS

“My heart...” 😭💔

Lyra’s pained screams oh my GOD and Will holding her I’m not OKAY

Episode 5: No Way Out

My heart is already broken from last episode, I don’t know how much worse I can feel at this point 😭

Oh good, we’re starting with mulefa hijinks! (Sort of)

Mary stopping and having a moment of “what am I doing?… following a talking elephant” 🤣

IT SKATING AROUND ON PODS ASDFGHJKL

Lyra and Will: *having literally the worst times of their lives* // Mary: *playing with the Mulefa and living her best life*

The Mulefa having their own language oh my god and the orange subtitles fading to the white English ones omg because she’s learning their language

Baby Mulefa 😭❤️

Oof we’re right back to pain 🤡

“What does it feel like, being this far away from him? From Pan?” “It’s like an iron hand is gripped around my heart and is yanking it out between my ribs.” “And it’s mental too, right? As if some private secret thing’s been dragged out into the open?” “…yeah.” — 😭

“You know, you always said I must have a dæmon and I never believed you… and now it feels like I’ve known her my whole life. Maybe she’s with Pan now.” - ASDFGHJKL KIRJAVA IS COMING IM-

“Wait. If my dæmon’s still at the jetty, can you give him a message?” “I can tell you now, he won’t be.” 😭😭😭😭

Oooh Land of the Dead here we go!

I’m still curious as to why exactly Marisa and the monkey can separate so far? Have they already been intercised or something? Like they can REALLY go far from each other 🤔

“They intend to sever you from your dæmon!” “… Good.” — EXCUSE ME MARISA???? She really hates the little thing doesn’t she, damn

“It’s not made of rock… it’s made of people’s things” - oh damn

Oh my gosh the dead 😭

“They don’t like it if we talk to each other.” “Who don’t?” - OH SHIT THE HARPIES

The little dead children talking about their dæmons 😭 “Mine was called Sandling. He used to think he’d be a bird, but I hoped he wouldn’t because I liked him all furry.” “My Kasta used to curl up in my hand and go to sleep.” “Mine was called Matapan” 😭😭

Not MacPhail going to touch the monkey but being interrupted by Father Gomez schooling him on how it’s forbidden 💀

HE JUST SLAPPED GOMEZ OMG

Nooo not her losing Will

NOT HER THINKING SHE SEES PAN NOOO ITS NOT REAL

“You left me on the jetty to die (…) I’ve always known deep down how selfish you are. You really believe you’re here for Roger - you already killed him. You came here for you, to assuage your guilt, to play the hero” - 😭😭😭😭 I know it’s not really Pan but still my heART

ROGER 😭💔

“I missed you. I’m so sorry, about everything. I should have let you go with the Gyptians and the kids… I shouldn’t have taken you to Asriel. If I’d have let you go, you wouldn’t be here, would you? You’d be…” “It wasn’t your fault. I wanted to go with you.” — 😭 my heart is a literal mess I’m blubbering

“Stop it! You think I want to go back to the real world? Like this?” - oh Roger…

Will not being able to cut a window out and it sounding like the knife is being grated over rock 😳

NOT THE HARPIES THIS IS NIGHTMARE FUEL IM-

“What kind of son abandons his own mother?” - SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-

“You have destroyed the lives of everyone you’ve ever cared for… you’ve come here for you, to feel special… if only Will had never met you” - I would very much like to go back to Jordan College and rooftop adventures now thanks-

“I thought about us, and everything we’ve been through… I didn’t let them get into my head” 😭❤️����

Not Fra Pavel deducing that Mary is the serpent and she’s in another world, and now Gomez is going to go after her 💀

Oh damn, the imagery of the snake and Eve painting(?) in the background as Gomez prepares himself

I SAW A GLIMPSE OF AMBER IS IT- IS IT TIME FOR THE SPYGLASS

MARY IS MAKING THE SPYGLASS THIS IS MY CHILDHOOD COMING TOGETHER

Oh. My. God. The view through the lens of Dust… ‘Sraf’ is Dust… oh my god. This is beautiful. The colours are beautiful.

“The trees are dying.” “And so are we.” 😭

“What do you remember about Jordan? You remember it, don’t you?” “… Jordan’s gone.” - stop that right nOW

Not the flashback to the very first episode of them in the cellar drinking Tokay 😭

The light appearing as they remember Jordan College together, talking about the roof and the rook with the broken leg 😭❤️ and all the dead people coming to listen, I’m gonna start bawling all over again

Lyra and Will speaking to the crowd and promising to try to get them out of this horrible world, rallying them 😭

“What will happen to us if we leave?” “I don’t know.” “You don’t know? If I will or won’t be able to see my son again?” “We can’t know until it happens - I’m not gonna lie or pretend. But in here, it’s just thoughts; out there, real things matter.”

“When we were alive, they told us that when we died, we’d go to Heaven. That’s why so many of us gave our lives, and spent years in prayer and silence, and all the joy of life went to waste around us. I don’t care what happens to us when we leave - anything is better than this.” - damn, this series really said fuck religion and fuck the church making people spend their lives in servitude/repenting for sins they haven’t even done

Damn, the harpies are NOT happy

“Will you tell us some stories? So we can remember too? Real things.” Ohh no, no, I will not cry over this, I will not cry over Lyra and Roger talking about Jordan College-

“I won every time.” “No she didn’t, she cheated every time” - yep, sounds like Lyra to me

Lyra recounting how she made the omelette with the shells in for Will 🤣

Lyra talking about Iorek 😭❤️

I have absolutely no love for that blasted monkey but seeing him all sad in the cage as they’re about to be severed… definitely made me feel sad, can’t believe I feel sorry for him

It looks like Marisa’s been strapped to an electric chair, like she’s about to be executed, and the imagery of that is 👌🏻

“When we created this technology together, you believed you were doing the right thing - we all did. But we were wrong. It has to stop.” - Damn, you don’t say! Of course it was wrong to sever children, glad you see that finally-

“Do not explain my own technology to me.” - OOF

“You still have time to repent - let me give you your final blessing” - MAN DO NOT FUCKIN TOUCH HER YOU FREAK

“Keep your hands off me… there’s too much blood on them for that.” - DAMN, MARISA

Everyone listening to Lyra’s stories 😭❤️

“… But you felt safe with Mr Scoresby. He was the first grown up I ever trusted.” - STOP THAT RIGHT NOW IM ALREADY CRYING I DONT NEED TO CRY AGAIN

“I will come with you. We… We will come with you.” - YESSSS

HOLY FUCK THE HARPY DESIGN IS SICKENINGLY HORRIFYING DEAR GOD AND THE WAY IT WENT RIGHT UP TO LYRA’S FACE

“What’s your name? You must have one.” “… No-Name.” - Oh gosh I think I remember more of the book now hang on

LEE SCORESBY AHHHHHHHH

LEE AND LYRA HUGGING 😭❤️ MY HEART I CANNOT BEAR THIS

LYRA DIDNT KNOW LEE DIED 😭 and he thought she was dead but he was so relieved she wasn’t 😭

“You found the Knife Bearer - you beat the shaman to it. Lyra Silvertongue, just when I thought you couldn’t blow my little mind enough times” - 😭❤️ I missed Lee so much ASDFGHJKL

IS THAT METATRON??? ENOCH??? OH MY GODDDDD

“If she had only stayed with us, and given her life to the Authority as she once intended, she would now be on the path to the kingdom” - oh my god MacPhail shut the fuck UP

Come on rOKE HURRY UP AND SAVE HER

NOT THE INTERCISION MACHINE V2 AND THE MONKEY LOOKING SCARED

Dr Cooper having second thoughts omg

SHE STOPPED IT LAST MINUTE OH GOD THE GASP I LET OUT

“… I will not be a part of this (…) I will not hurt her.” - YES DOCTOR DO SOMETHING GOOD FOR ONCE IN YOUR MISERABLE LIFE

FATHER MACPHAIL STRAIGHT UP MURDERED DR COOPER HOLY SHIT-

The Church REALLY are not coming across well here

NO NOT ROKE LEAVE HIM ALONE

KILL HIM MARISA KILL THAT BASTARD RELIGIOUS MAN

OKAY BUT YES ALSO TURN OFF THE MACHINE PLEASE DESTROY IT IF YOU CAN I CANT BREATHE THIS IS TOO TENSE

FATHER MACPHAIL COMMITTING SUICIDE AND SACRIFICING HIMSELF HES FUCKING INSANE IM SORRY THE HATRED HE HAS FOR LYRA IS THAT STRONG???

Thank FUCK she stopped the machine last minute although I kinda wish MacPhail had died lmao

THE LIGHT HOLY CRAP-

“You think Dust can make you Gods… let use see how you fare without it.” - OH SHIT OH SHIT

THE MACHINE SEVERED MACPHAIL AND HIS DAEMON AND SHE DISAPPEARED

NOOOOO NOT THE BOMB NOT THE BOMB TELL ME THAT AINT THE BOMB-

I know she’s not dead, I’ve read the book, plus there’s still 3 episodes left, I’m still freaking out though

Episode 6: The Abyss

Three more episodes and then it’s all over 😭 I don’t know if I’m ready for it to be honest

“In the beginning, Man was given the gift of Dust. It ignited his mind and freed his will. But that free will has corrupted mankind. Dust shall be drawn into eternal darkness once more… That which was given shall be taken away.” - oh my gOD what a narration to start an episode Jesus Christ (pardon the pun)

Marisa dragging herself across the floor to get to Lyra’s hair???

Please tell me Roke isn’t dead 😭 (spoiler: he is)

Marisa going to Fra Pavel with the hair and asking him to consult the Alethiometer on whether or not Lyra survived 😭

I still get chills at the opening theme, ngl, like we’re three whole series in and I’m STILL feeling chills seeing the opening credits

Eyyyy Serafina Pekkala!!!

The earth is literally crumbling apart and Asriel’s laughing 🫢

MARISA AND THE MONKEY ARE BACK AT ASRIEL’S

Stelmaria just being like “… It’s her”, as if there’s only one “her”

“She’s dead, Asriel. Lyra is dead.” - NOOOOOO OH NO NO NO

Nahh Asriel is so unbothered about Lyra being dead???

“Would you like me to tell you how your daughter died, or would you prefer to keep tinkering with your toys?” “If what you’re saying is true, I’m very sorry. But what I’m doing here is of the utmost importance - it’s going to change everything.” - DUDE YOUR DAUGHTER IS DEAD (or so it’s thought at the moment) HOW ARE YOU SO UNBOTHERED

Like we knew he was a shit father but YIKES

Marisa straight up telling Asriel it’s his fault their daughter is dead because he pissed off Metatron with his war crime, she disabled the bomb but the light triggered it… DAMN. Just… damn.

“You’ve taken my daughter from me… and I will never forgive you.” - ☹️😔

Roger trying to wake Lyra up 😭 thankfully she does wake but still-

Stelmaria telling Asriel he shouldn’t go down there, it’s reckless… Mate, listen to your fucking dæmon once in a while please, she got all the sense the two of you possess and you’ve got none I fear-

WHAT’S HAPPENING TO RUTA’S DÆMON HE DROPPED LIKE A STONE INTO THE ABYSS (the one where Asriel is)

“He can’t hear me…” “Stay with him” “I can’t stop him, the darkness is drawing him in…” - NO NO NO NO

Noooo SERGEI (her dæmon) DIED AND SO DID RUTA FUCK SAKE MAN

Lyra and Lee hugging again because they’re so happy to see each other okay 😭❤️ truly a better father to her than her own one ever was

Is there an abyss in each of the worlds? 🤔 because there’s one in the land of the dead too as well as where Asriel is

Will panicking because he’s scared he won’t be able to get these people out, and Lyra taking his face in her hands, “Look at me, look at me, look at me… it’s fine. We’re going to get out of here. It’s just… this chasm. I can feel it too. Look at me.” 😭

Lee whooping when Lyra jumped that chasm, we love a proud father!

Roger and Will disagreeing over who should go next and Lee just doing it instead 😂

“I am Serafina Pekkala, Queen of the Lake Enara clan, and I demand to know what happened to my sister” - YES WITCH QUEEN 👑

“It pains me to tell you both that what happened to Ruta was not death, but worse again. That abyss out there is a rupture in the multiverse, sucking all Dust deep down inside the void between the worlds. I bore witness to her dæmon Sergei falling inside… and it is my belief, that no being, flesh or Dust, will ever emerge from its darkness.” “… so there will be no peace for her? Part of her soul, forever falling… forever in limbo…” — NOPE, NO, NOOO 😭💔 poor Ruta I hate it here

(Turning to Asriel) “… You did this.” “No.” “Your arrogance, PLAYING WITH FORCES YOU HAVE NO CONCEPT OF!” - SHIT SHES RIGHT THOUGH

Sorry, what the FUCK are those things beneath them with the glowing eyes???

“We’ve seen worse. Do you remember when we freed the kids from Bolvanger? And then the three of us and Iorek squashed into Lee’s balloon and just flew away?” - lmao bless

“Iorek’s this armoured bear-.” “I know who he is, I’ve met him.” - damn, there’s some tension here between Roger and Will? Or is it just me?

“Can’t imagine him (Iorek) in a balloon though” - LMFAO

“It wasn’t just any balloon… it was a real beauty” - DAMN RIGHT IT WAS LEE

Is Will a little jealous of Lyra and Roger walking together and reminiscing or…???

“Hey, did I ever tell you about the crazy shaman who made me a bacon sandwich?” - OH MY GOD LEE 😂 (also it’s been a while since S2, but I think he’s talking about John Parry???)

Marisa really thinks she’s allowed to just leave 💀

Marisa telling Ogunwe that Lyra is dead, and him saying “Asriel didn’t tell me”, it hits hard because he has daughters of his own and I just know he’s probably confused because surely Asriel would have mentioned his own child dying but nOPE

Marisa yelling at the monkey to come and he just… doesn’t? He just walks away? Their dynamic is so interesting but in a messed up way

Will is looking for his father and he wants to be sure that his father will find his way out 😭

Lee realising that Will is the shaman’s son oh my GOD?!? And he thinks he has a way to summon him??? Oh I love Lee so much

“Are you sure about this?” - Stelmaria asking the only real questions

IOREK!!! 🐻‍❄️

IOREK STRAIGHT UP SMACKING ASRIEL DOWN WHEN HE APPROACHED LMFAO I LOVE HIM

Wait this is SVALBARD??? All the ice and snow has disappeared?!? And it’s all Asriel’s fault?!?

“My bears starve because you blew a hole in the sky!” - oh shit!

“Give me one reason why I shouldn’t KILL YOU!” “LYRA SILVERTONGUE!” “Why do you speak to me of her?” “You renamed her. You loved her. Tell me of her.” “She is everything you are not.” “Perhaps I should have known her better. But she is gone, and if you kill me now she will never be avenged.” — this whole exchange 😭 Iorek loves Lyra so much, Asriel saying he should have known her better (no shit, sir)…

“You do not understand. Lyra went to the Land of the Dead.” “The Land of the…?” “Yes. But she walked in the line.” “How did she enter that place?” “With the knife.” “The knife is broken.” “I fixed it. She went after her friend, Roger.” “… the kitchen boy.” “Another reason why I should kill you!” - IOREK GETS IT ASDFGHJKL HE’S A BETTER FATHER THAN ASRIEL EVER WAS FUCK ASRIEL WE ONLY LOVE IOREK AND LEE AS FATHER FIGURES NOW

Asriel laughing because “my daughter is staging a prison break” 💀

NOOO NOT LYRA FALLING INTO THE ENDLESS ABYSS

THE HARPY SAVING LYRA FROM FALLING INTO THE ABYSS HOLY SHIT

Marisa telling Serafina about torturing that witch in detail, Jesus CHRIST, she literally wants Serafina to kill her at this point :( but Serafina sees right through it of course

“If you won’t do it out of anger… then please just do it out of mercy.” - 😭 now why am I sympathising with Marisa

“Love… makes us fragile in ways we cannot fathom.” “I didn’t love Lyra. I wasn’t able to” - SURE you didn’t love her, Marisa 🙄

“Even my own dæmon rejects me” - yeah no can’t say I blame him honestly

Serafina talking about how she lost her son that she had with Farder Coram 😭 and how Lyra gave her hope

“When I first heard that prophecy, it terrified me. (…) Because I was always taught to believe that Eve was guilty of something shameful.” - yep, religion will do that to you!

“All Eve did was dare to experience - it’s an act of bravery. Of great beauty. You were a monster, but look what experience did to you… what love did. It changed you.” - oh my god the religion criticism is on point today holy crap

Will hugging Lyra and asking if she’s okay 😭❤️

Lyra wanting to give the harpy a name to thank it 😭

“Names can’t just be given!” “Mine was… by a friend.” - exactly, Lyra!

“Gracious-Wings.” — … Interesting name, Lyra but okay

“You can’t take it back now!” - I have NO intention to and neither does Lyra 😳

The harpies kinda do make me sad because like… they don’t have names. They’re frightening to look at. They live in the land of the dead. They’re trapped just as much as the ghosts are, and feared for how they look which probably contributes to their behaviour. So Lyra showing some kindness must be a brand new experience for them.

“You cannot tell the story of my name if you do not get out.” “… You like stories, don’t you? True ones.” - ohhhhhhhhh I get it! Awww, so Gracious-Wings wants Lyra to escape, not only because she’s been listening to her stories but also because Lyra can then tell the living about Gracious-Wings and the truth that she’s not so scary/completely evil, so maybe people when they die will be less afraid to meet her? Idk

“True stories are nourishing. They feed us, we had no idea there was anything but lies and wickedness.” “If those who follow behind tell you everything they saw in the world, everything true… could you guide them here so they could be set free?” - god I forgot how deep and clever this whole section was in the book

“Do not lie to me.” “I won’t.” - for once, I actually do believe she’s telling the truth

“Do we have a deal? The prisoners’ safe passage in exchange for their stories?” - YESSS OMG

“It’s alright, they’re going to help us! Just tell them your stories - stories from your lives, and they’ll guide you up. Tell them stories.” - nahhh I’m not crying you are 😭

Asriel telling Marisa Lyra is still alive but she doesn’t believe him at first 😭

“It makes sense: the Authority cows us with the threat of heaven or hell but even that was a lie, it’s all purgatory.”

“Please… my heart won’t take it.” - this woman has gone through so much, she’s not a good person but damn she’s gone through a lot

“You said yourself, she’s extraordinary… to free a soul from the Land of the Dead” - well you’ve changed your fucking tune

“The witches prophecy… they believe two things about Lyra: that she is Eve, and she will defeat Death. (Smiling/Laughing) That’s what she’s doing. The prophecy is right. We must help her, Asriel.” - ASRIEL AND MARISA ACTUALLY WORKING TOGETHER FOR REAL THIS TIME?!? Like actual parents?!? Who’d have thought 😭

“There’s someone here to see you.” - LEE BROUGHT JOHN PARRY TO WILL IM CRYING ALL OVER AGAIN ARE YOU SERIOUS

“I hate fighting. I’m not who you want me to be.” “No… no, you’re so much more.” - AND THEN THE HUG 🥹😭

“All this time, I thought that when we eventually found each other… we could go back to Oxford together.” “I did too.” - 😭😭😭 they deserve so much better, I can’t-

“If we get out of this awful place…” “We won’t be going the same way.” 😭

I’m sorry, okay, this whole episode is just one big CRYFEST AT THIS POINT

Lyra saying she thought Roger was braver than her 😭

“I don’t even know if I can do anything. I’m just so tired, and my chest…” “Because you’re away from your dæmon. Separation across worlds weakens your bond, Will. She’s pining for you.” “How do you know?” “I guided her to Asriel’s republic. As soon as you release these ghosts, you must cut through and find her, Will.” - KIRJAVA IS COMING WE’RE GOING TO MEET KIRJAVA ASDFGHJKL

“Don’t try to live in a world that’s not your own. No matter how tempting it may seem. You and your dæmon… you won’t survive it.” “But you did.” “No. I felt it, like an ache, every day. Don’t make the same mistake that I did. You deserve a full life with your mother.” 😭❤️ but also foreshadowing what will happen at the end of the series I feel unwell-

“What will happen to you?” “The same that will happen to every soul trapped down here: I’ll be free. I’ll be connected again to every living thing, thanks to you.” - Damn, right in the feels 😭

John telling Will he’s so proud of him and them hugging 😭❤️💔

Serafina saying she’s gonna send Kaisa to search for Pan because she knows that Pan can’t enter the Land of the Dead and so he’ll still be there, I’m so ready!!

“If it is true, and Lyra is going to free the dead, she and Will will have achieved something remarkable… far beyond your rebellion. Lyra is your focus now. Do not fail her.” — YESSSSSSS come on Asriel and Marisa, be good parents for once

WILL DID IT HE CUT A WINDOW OUT OF THE LAND OF THE DEAD AHHHH, and it’s opened out onto a beautiful paradise ❤️

“My dad said you’ll be free. You’ll drift apart, but you’ll be out in the open - connected with everything to love.” - 😭❤️

ROGER SAYING HE’LL GO FIRST ASDFGHJKL AND LYRA SAYING SHE’LL MISS HIM SO MUCH

“You’ll be okay. I know you will. You’ve saved your best friend. When you go back to Jordan, go to the roof for me.” - AND THE FOREHEAD TOUCH 😭❤️

“I’m ready” 😭😭😭 GOODBYE ROGER

AND THEN LEE SCORESBY HUGGING HER, “No need for that, it’s okay” because she’s crying, “thank you”, tipping his hat to Will

“I’m gonna be with my Hester” - SHUT THE FUCK UP RIGHT NOW 😭❤️

I’m literally just full on sobbing at this point like my heart can’t take anymore at this point and there’s still TWO episodes left 😭

Marisa asking her monkey if she can sit with him?!? They’re so disconnected despite being the same person, I can’t-

“It hurts when we’re apart. I pretend that it doesn’t. That first time I sent you away… it was awful. I don’t know why I do it. At first I think it was curiosity… But now it’s become something else. A way to not feel what I can’t bear. I used to think that I was the strong one… but I was wrong. It was you. All along. I am so very sorry. Please… come back to me.” - NOOO WHY AM I HAVING EMOTIONS OVER MARISA AND THE DAMN DEMON GOLDEN MONKEY?!? AND THEM HOLDING HANDS?!?

Asriel and Marisa standing with their dæmons together… damn. Shit must be serious if the two of them are together on something

“The final rebellion has begun.” - OH SHIT HERE WE GOOOO

Episode 7: The Clouded Mountain

Two episodes left… 😬

Before we get into the episode, quick prediction: I feel like this episode is going to largely focus more on Asriel/Marisa and maybe bring that story to a close, and then the last one will be more Lyra/Will centric? Idk, we’ll see!

“We just have to keep Metatron’s forces away from the girl and the boy long enough for them to be reunited with their dæmons, to get to a safe world and… fall.” - oooooohhh

“How can you possibly know the nature of Metatron’s attack?” - LMFAO arguing like a married couple I see-

Okay, I was wrong, we are seeing Lyra and Will in this episode!

Will planning to get their dæmons himself and Lyra can wait in the nice world and he’ll meet her there 💀

“We’ve come this far and you still don’t understand: we’re in this together.” - 👏🏻

Every scene with Marisa and Asriel just seems like they’re flirting lmao

“I’ve given the girl nothing but at the very least I can buy her time” - 😭

“You’d do that for her?” “Not just her.” - THE WAY HE MOVED EVEN CLOSER TO HER ASDFGHJKL THEY ABOUT TO KISS OR SOMETHING

“Even if you get him to the abyss, you do understand it’s not just death down there? It’s eternal oblivia.” - DAMN, he’s committed I’ll give him that

“Your love for Lyra is your salvation and your downfall. When you think of her, I can read you as easily as a reflection in still water.” 😮

“Right, so we are doomed.” - Basically, yeah.

“Some of us will die today” - NOT A GREAT WAY TO OPEN AN INSPIRATIONAL SPEECH, ASRIEL 💀

Asriel is really on a mission to kill God in this series, that’s it summed up

“But thanks to my daughter, thanks to Lyra, we need no longer fear that fate! From today death is no longer an ending but a journey back into life!” - okay I take it back, his speech is pretty good

“Our children shall experience paradise but they will know it down here on the earth… today, we are free!” - YESSSSS 🙌🏻

OH SHIT is that Metatron’s soldiers/forces?!?

“I’m glad I said we didn’t have to win this fight” - LMAO

THE ANGEL KNEW LYRA AND WILL WERE CUTTING THROUGH AHHHH AND NOW ASRIEL’S ATTACKING LET’S GOOOO

It’s the way Lyra knew Pan and Will’s dæmon will be looking after each other 😭

“Metatron is releasing the dæmon eaters - he is turning all creatures against us” - AH HELL FUCKING NO

Are they the same as Spectres?!?

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO THIS IS MORE NIGHTMARE FUEL

YES MARISA DOING HER PART AND TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM BECAUSE SHE HAS CONTROL OVER THEM

“I’ve found Pantalaimon” - Oh my god YES give Pan back to me please

To be fair I don’t blame Will and Lyra for not immediately blindly trusting Ogunwe at this point, barely anyone is trustworthy in this series at this point

RED PANDA PAN

“They left us.” “I know. But they’ve come back for you.” - 😭❤️

AHHH KIRJAVA AND SHES A BEAUTIFUL CAT WHEN WE FIRST SEE HER AHHHHH

They can both still change but still AHHHHH SOON

“All I know is Asriel’s proud of you” - yeah, he just has a shit way of showing it

These noises are straight out a horror movie oh my GOD THE FUCK ARE THOSE THINGS THOSE GHAST-Y THINGS

Not Metatron (?) whispering into all of their heads asdfghjkl

Metatron telling Marisa she should join him and her and the monkey having this moment, “you know what to do” 😭 and he looks like he’s gonna follow her because he puts his paw on the bridge but he doesn’t 😭 can’t believe I’m having emotions have that goddamn demon monkey

ASRIEL CALLING FOR STELMARIA AND THEN MARISA INSIDE METATRON’S PALACE(?)/FORTRESS 😭

Can I just say that the visuals are STUNNING, oh my goodness I’m literally in awe of this imagery and the visuals it’s far better than 10 year old me imagined

Marisa saying that she loves Lyra and hates that she does 😭

Metatron taking on Asriel’s form so now we’ve got James McAvoy vs James McAvoy, truly Multiverse of Madness 💀

“No one cares for you.” “Marisa does.” - the way my jaw dropped, oh my

Not Asriel calling for Marisa 😭 no I will NOT ship them, I refuse-

“You care for her still? If only you knew the disdain in which she holds you. She’s giving you up.” “No… never… I love her.” - oh my god?!?!?

“She would never betray me…” “I can give you Asriel. He’s trying to protect her.” - NOOO DO NOT DO IT

HE KNEW SHE WAS CLOSE BY HE KNEW IT IM-

“Marisa, no…” - GIRL DO NOT DO IT I SWEAR

“Your dæmons are in the tower - cut them through to a safe world. I’ll find you wherever you are.” - I’m starting to remember how the book ends and my heart is hurting, it’s coming so soon…

“So… you did come.” - YES SHE DID PAN 😭 please forgive her

WILL SEEING KIRJAVA FOR THE FIRST TIME 😭❤️ and her going “… Will.” 🥹

“How could you bear it? Leaving me behind?” 😭

“We should be together. Please.” But the damage is done… if you’ve read TSC, you know 😭

What is that monkey doing? Is he helping them escape? HE PULLED THE LEVER ASDFGHJKL

“For Lyra.” 😭❤️

MARISA HELPING ASRIEL UP, ASRIEL AND MARISA GRAPPLING WITH METATRON TOGETHER, and then STELMARIA RUNNING AND JUMPING AND THEM ALL TUMBLING INTO THE ABYSS 😭😭😭💔💔💔 IT HAPPENED IT HAPPENED IVE BEEN WAITING YEARS-

The monkey and Lyra looking at each other 😭 and she knows, she knows her mother has helped them-

NOT STELMARIA FADING TO DUST 😭

LYRA AND THE MONKEY REACHING OUT FOR EACH OTHER AND HE STARTS FADING AWAY NO NO NO

NOT ME GETTING UPSET AND CRYING OVER THAT DAMN BASTARD GOBLIN POS MONKEY 😭😭😭

Lyra having to wipe her eyes 😭 same, me too-

I knew this episode would end the Asriel/Marisa/Metatron storyline, I just knew it

“Cloud’s gone. It’s all gone. The war’s over.” 🥺😭

I know we’ve still got an episode left but I’m already weeping because I’ve waited 15 years for this adaptation to come, to see this whole trilogy adapted right, and now it’s happened

Ogunwe seeing his daughters 🥹

“Can we go now? I wanna see Pan.” - YES 😭👏🏻

DAMN ONE EPISODE LEFT

Episode 8: The Botanic Garden

Just from the title alone I know this is going to cause me pain but let’s DO IT

Damn, they didn’t even do a recap on this episode (or at least my iPlayer didn’t?)

LAST TIME LETS GO WE DIE LIKE (WO)MEN

Lyra waking up and the first thing she asks for is Pan 🥺

Also Lyra going for a swim because she’s all dirty, don’t blame her quite frankly

“After everything we’ve been through and now we’re here… doesn’t seem real” - same

Lyra knows her mother is dead :(

“I should be relieved… there’s so many things I don’t understand about my parents (…) like why they weren’t honest with me. Why they did such horrible things. Why wasn’t she interested in me for 13 years and then suddenly she was… why did they abandon me?” 😭😭😭

Lyra saying she doesn’t hate Asriel but can’t forgive him, and “I have the strangest feeling he’s gone… which means I’m alone” 😭 and Will saying no she’s not ❤️

Will splashing her and then jumping in 😂

“What?” “Nothing… I’m just glad you washed” LMFAO

“She doesn’t look like she misses me. She seems fine.” - oh Pan :(

“Think how good it will be to be with them again. To be close.” - Kirjava ❤️

“What if it doesn’t feel the same? What if it never does?” “Lyra loves you. We’re finally in the same world, we’re safe here.” - 1) I’m sad because of TSC all over again and 2) I’m sad because I know how this ends

NOT FATHER GOMEZ I FORGOT ABOUT HIM ASDFGHJKL

No but where did the clean clothes come from???

“But there’s someone else we need to meet.” - IS IT MARY??

“I don’t feel torn apart, and I know he’s safe.” - 😭🥹

AHHH LYRA AND WILL SEEING THE MULEFA HERD AND BEING LIKE “they’re riding on wheels!”

I like that Will’s reaction to this new creature speaking a different language is just “… Hello :D”, I love him

MARY AND LYRA REUNION 😭❤️

Mary going “oh god look at you” because Lyra is so grown up 😭

Oh my gOD FATHER GOMEZ FUCK OFF ALREADY

I wanna squash his dæmon, I don’t care, I wanna squish it and murder it

Not him shooting and killing the local wildlife, fuck you dude

“They have less Sraf than you” - ahhh because they’re still teenagers and Mary is an adult, and Dust is what causes dæmons to settle/kids to become adults, I get it

“No pods, poor things” - XD

“I’ve been all over the place but I think this is my favourite world” - same, Lyra, same, it’s so peaceful

“How do you treat a tree with respect?” - quite easily I think, Will???

“We have the stupid idea as humans that we’re the pinnacle of evolution, but we’ve got so much wrong” — 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

“It’s the answer to the question to the question you asked me in Oxford - whether Dust is sin (…) it’s the spark that means we’re alive, it’s consciousness.” “So Dust isn’t sin… it’s just as good or bad as we are.” 👏🏻🥹

The trees dying is truly heartbreaking omg 😭💔

“It’s the Dust disappearing. It’s just flooding out of the world: thought, imagination, feeling all blowing away” 😭💔

There’s got to be a way of saving it, surely…? Like this world can’t just disappear??

“… So when Pan’s a wolverine, you know you’ve pissed her off” OMFG 💀🤣

“Like a nun-nun from our world?” Will omg 😅

“Mary, tell them stories” - YES PLEASE DO

Mary’s story oh my god

“And then I met someone… she wasn’t like the other academics” - LESBIAN MARY MALONE I REPEAT LESBIAN MARY MALONE

“Years ago when I was at school, those butterflies in the pit of my stomach, that ache to be close to someone… I think I had just been too afraid to recognise it before, but I didn’t want to forget it this time.” - AND THE SHOTS OF WILL AND LYRA AHHHHH

“I knew I couldn’t go back to the convent after that, I just couldn’t bear the idea of living without ever feeling that alive. And I thought… will anyone be better off if I just go back to the hotel and say my prayers, and promise to never fall into temptation again? And the answer came back… no. No one will. And I realised, there was no one there to reward me for being a good girl or no one there to punish me for being wicked. There was no one. And it was… it was liberating.” — the fact that Mary is Irish adds a whole other layer to it because of the whole “Irish Catholic guilt” thing, but also just in general… wow. Just wow.

“I wanted to experience love. (L: And did you?)… yeah. (W: Were you scared?) Oh my god, I was terrified. I was risking everything and I was sure I’d be rejected, but… it was worth it. It’s rare when it happens, when you feel that way you have to grab it. It’s funny, isn’t it? One little moment… all she did was offer me a sweet and it changed my life forever. For the first time I was doing something with all of my nature, not just a part of it.” — I CANNOT TAKE IT, THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL

I can’t get over the looks between Lyra and Will, I knew it was happening obviously because of the books but stILL to actually see it onscreen???

“Where are you, Pan? There’s so many things I want to talk to you about.” 😭

Dear GOD DUDE FATHER GOMEZ GO AWAY IM SO DONE WITH YOU

Oh Mary totally knows something is going on between them even if they don’t yet

“What if she settles as something really bad, like… a mosquito or a slug or a fish?” “I heard of a man whose dæmon was a dolphin, but he’s a sailor so it’s fine” - I REMEMBER THAT STORY ABOUT THAT MAN FJDKDKDKD

Nooo not Gomez seeing them together I wanna punch him so bad-

“I don’t think anyone can understand… apart from you.” - oh my god Will 😭

“I think she’s… right… about a lot of things” - oh Will is NOT subtle in the slightest is he-

Lyra stepping closer, “yeah? What things?” ASDFGHJKL

“Dust… trees!” - smooth, Will, real fuckin smooth 🤣

Gomez was about to shoot Lyra while she was frolicking in the water but an Angel stopped him oh my god

ITS BALTHAMOS

“Desire is not sin. Love takes a million forms, each of them beautiful, each of them worthy. You who judge, just afraid.” 👏🏻

BALTHAMOS SQUASHED GOMEZ’S DÆMON, KILLED GOMEZ, AND THEN HE DIED TOO AND HIS LAST WORD WAS “BARUCH” 😭❤️

There’s something very innocent about these two teenagers clearly falling in love and sitting by the water in their underclothes and not realising why that would be seen as wrong because it’s so innocent and sweet and new 😭

WILL AND LYRA KISS I REPEAT WILL AND LYRA KISS I SCREAMED SO LOUD OH MY GOD

AND THE DUST SETTLING OVER THEM AND THE DUST RETURNING TO THE WORLD ASDFGHJKL THIS IS BEAUTIFUL

“The prophecy has been fulfilled. The love of Eve shall heal the earth and all the world shall feel it. Nature will be restored, hope will spark in darkness as innocence turns to experience, all will be in harmony once more.” - OH MY GOD AND THE SHOTS OF THE DIFFERENT WORLDS AND PLACES ASDFGHJKL

Those shy little smiles after they finished kissing omg

“Do you think Pan knows? I think he guessed” - he probably did let’s be real here lmfao

“I want to show you Jordan… proper Oxford. We can go to yours too… go to the cinema again.” - oh these kids are so hopeful 😭🥺

Pan and Kirjava!!!

“One who has given the world such a gift deserves a name… Kirjava.” — AHHHHH

Pan: Kirjava… suits you — 😭👏🏻❤️

“Why aren’t you with Will and Lyra? Are you still punishing them for their betrayal? But you love them still, don’t you? And you are not severed.” “No… we’re still one. But it was so painful.” - 🥺🥺🥺

“They will need you for what is to come” - OH BOY HERE WE GO

Pan and Kirjava coming back to their humans 😭❤️

“Pan…” “You left me. I’ve had to travel so far to find you again.” “I’m so sorry. I’m so grateful. I didn’t want to. I’m sorry. Please, I’m sorry. I missed you. I love you.” “Lyra…” AND THEN HE RUNS AND HUGS HER 😭

“I hoped you’d settle as a pine marten… suits you.” “I like it too.” 😭❤️

ALSO PAN SETTLED?!?!

“I’m… Kirjava.” WILL MEETING KIRJAVA PROPERLY

WILL AND LYRA TOUCHING EACH OTHER’S DÆMONS, THE MOST INTIMATE OF ACTS WHEN DONE CONSENSUALLY, I CANNOT COPE WITH THIS-

“Thanks to you, the multiverse is healing.” “I barely did anything.” “You showed two innocents what it was to dare, and by discovering their love, they have drawn Dust back into our worlds.” “Is that really all it took? Something so small and ordinary?” “Love is never small to those who discover it for the first time.” — brb, crying yet AGAIN over this series

“For centuries, Dust has been flowing out of the universe… what Lyra and Will have done has turned that tide. But their love alone is not enough to sustain it forever.” - oh no, no no no, it’s about to happen

“Every window that exists must be closed” - 😭😭😭 I know what’s coming and I hate it

“Each time the knife makes a cut, the flow of Dust increases and from the tear in the space between worlds some darkness is released, bring destruction across all of the worlds. It can take the form of many things: a plague, a spectre…” - 😭

But also does this mean that Covid was a result of the subtle knife??? 💀😳👀

“But if Will can’t use the knife, and if we can’t leave the windows open, then how will we…? We have to choose worlds, Will’s or mine?” “You can’t live in someone else’s world for long. Our dæmons wouldn’t survive. It means we can’t stay in the same world together.” - THERE IT IS 😭💔

“No! You can’t come here and just say that! After everything we’ve been through, it’s not fair! … it’s not fair…” 😭😭😭 they’ve literally just fallen in love and they have to separate already

Them walking away holding hands 😭

Oh nooo she’s already lost the ability to read the Alethiometer 😭😭😭

“It’s not broken, Lyra… you’ve changed. You’ve grown up.” “So… that’s it? I will never be able to read it again?” “The knowledge still exists but you’ll have to learn it, like those before you. You read it by Grace, and you can regain it by work.” “What’s the point? Why did we get here? Why did we go through everything we went through just to be forced apart?” — 😭

“I didn’t know it was possible to feel this bad.” “It won’t always feel like this.” “I don’t want to not feel like this about Lyra… I only want her.” - NOT WILL AND MARY’S COVERSATION IM TRYING TO HOLD IT TOGETHER SO BAD

“You know all those stories that say the greatest love is the one you can’t live without? The one that you’re prepared to die for? That’s not right. That’s not what love is. I know it seems romantic to die for love but it’s much more romantic to live for it.” — 😭💔

“You will never lose what you have with Will, you have shaped each other forever. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but you will have a future, Lyra” - and Lyra is just sitting there crying 😢 I hate it here-

“If humanity set their minds to discovery and their hearts to compassion, they may create enough Dust for a single opening to remain. But you already know where that window must be.” “The Land of the Dead.” “We can’t close that window, it’s the most important one.” — 😭💔

Will has to break the knife once they’re back in their own worlds 😭😭😭 and the angels will help close the windows

“There are fates even the most powerful have to submit to.” - 💔

“I love you. I’m not gonna stop loving you until the day I die.” “I love you.” - KILL ME. It would hurt FAR LESS

“We will come back here, when we’ve lived our lives, we’ll go through the Land of the Dead and we’ll tell Gracious-Wings everything we’ve done. We’ll find each other here. I’ll be drifting about until I find you.” “And I’ll be searching for you every moment. Every single moment.” “When we do find each other again… no one will be able to tear us apart. We’ll be joined so tightly… Every atom of me and every atom of you. When they use our atoms to make new lives, they’ll have to take two; one for you and one for me. We’ll be in the flowers and in the sunbeams… we’ll be joined so tight.” — okay no I’m full on sobbing and crying and shaking, I can’t cope with this, I can’t do anything but cry now

Lyra and Will embracing and holding each other, just clinging to each other on the floor as they cry 😭💔

“Don’t forget us, Mary. Keep telling stories.” - 😭💔 this whole episode is just a massive HEARTBREAK I CANNOT-

We’re back to Lyra’s Oxford 😭

NOT THE BENCH, NOT THE FUCKING BENCH NO I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE BENCH FUCK YOU PHILIP PULLMAN

“You know you could see your dæmon too, if you wanted” - oh my god yes?!?! I KNEW she met her dæmon at some point, I knew I didn’t imagine it!

“There you are.” - AHHH HER DÆMON IS A BIRD

“We can come back here every year. You in your world and me in mine. Midsummer’s Day. Midday.” “And I’ll be there. I’ll be there every year, my whole life.” “And if we do meet someone we like, we must be kind to them - we won’t compare them. We’ll come here, just for an hour… we can be together.” “Every year. I promise.” - ASDFGHJKL THIS HURTS MY HEART IT HURTS

“Just do it!” 😭😭😭 she wants him to just do it because she knows it’s going to happen and hanging around prolonging it is just so much more painful

Lyra and Mary hugging goodbye 😭 “I’ll never forget you” - STOP

“I’ll break the knife as soon as I’m through because I’ll know I’ll just want to come back to you.” - THIS POST IS JUST ME SOBBING NOW EXCUSE ME-

“What is it?” “I’m just trying to imagine what you’ll look like when you’re older.” “Handsome of course.” “Very.” - EXCUSE ME

Will stepping through the window and going to close it, stopping and them then kissing 😭 “Lyra.” “Will.” AND THEN THEY KISS AND HE CLOSES THE WINDOW FUUUUUCK-

Lyra: *crying* // Me: BITCH ME TOO

“Just think of her” (to break the knife) - and it’s a series of flashbacks of her and him throughout the whole series I feel SICK-

The snow falling on Svalbard and Iorek 😭

Lyra’s back at Jordan College 😭❤️ but so much has changed

Will going back to his mum 😭💔 and then them hugging as Kirjava watches with a little smile I’m-

ONE YEAR LATER?!?! ONE YEAR LATER I’M-

She’s dressed like a student I’m-

ARE THEY GOING TO THE GARDEN?!?

“We can come back here every year. You in your world, me in mine. We can be together. I’ll be there every year. My whole life. I promise.”

THE FADES AS THEY GET OLDER AND WITH EACH YEAR, THE SPLIT SCREEN OF THEM AT OPPOSITE ENDS OF THE BENCH, THEM REACHING OUT TO HOLD EACH OTHER’S HANDS, WILL’S MISSING FINGERS

“Lyra.” Being the last line of this show, oh my GOD.

THE ENDING TITLE CARDS

“Will and Lyra continued to return to their bench at the same time, every year. They kept their promise to each other, going on to live full lives in their own worlds. Will became a medical student and later, a successful surgeon. Lyra went on to be educated at St Sophia’s College in Oxford, where she was taught how to once again read the Alethiometer… Which would come in useful one day, when Lyra and Pan would go on to have a further great adventure. But that’s another story…”

THE BOOK OF DUST/THE SECRET COMMONWEALTH ADAPTATION CONFIRMED?!? IS THAT WHATS GOING ON?!?

Okay… wow… okay.

I’ll admit that in S1, I had issues with the show as a longtime fan of the books; perhaps I was too busy comparing it to the movie or whatever else, but also I had complaints about the lack of dæmons on-screen and how that really hurt the first series as a result (eg. The Billy Costa scene). Thankfully in S2 and S3, that issue was resolved and not a problem in the slightest, which I’m so glad for. I feel like for me personally, Subtle Knife (S2) and Amber Spyglass (S3) had the benefit of not having been adapted for the screen before (unlike Northern Lights/S1), so it was able to stand up as it’s own adaptation easier and not necessarily have the movie looming over it (if that makes sense). Because while I agree the movie was not great and didn’t do justice to the books, it was still an expensive blockbuster with hype and big names attached.

Right now I really want to reread TAS - I reread TSK when S2 was airing so it feels right to reread TAS now, but I’m reading Outlander still so I’ll have to put it off a few days 😭 - and also I want to take the trip to the Botanical Garden in Oxford where Lyra and Will meet every year. I don’t know if other fans do that but it’s something I’ve wanted to do a while, and now I want to do it more than ever. I’ll have to remind myself closer to the Midsummer’s Day to do it!

Honestly, I’m so emotional over this whole series. Was it a perfect adaptation? No, no adaptation is 100% accurate or perfect, things get changed or cut for whatever reason. But it was beautifully done, and I’m so unbelievably happy that it was finally done justice. I truly don’t think I could have asked for a better adaptation of a series that has meant so much to me for fifteen whole years. I’m so grateful that I live in a time where this series has been given the love and attention it deserves, and I can only hope that people viewing the show first have gone on to read Philip Pullman’s books, that it’s inspired them to read those too.

The cast have been spectacular throughout, especially the main cast members: Dafne Keen, Ruth Wilson, James McAvoy, Amir Wilson… gosh, all of them. And then of course the voice cast have been amazing too, especially Kit Connor as Pantalaimon since that’s literally the main voice role throughout this whole series. I’m just so blown away at this point, I can barely type it.

[zalrb]

LET'S GET THROUGH THEM QUICKLY - Bridgerton 3.02 Review

1. Why do we care about the Kent family? I mean, I'm glad there's a monoracial Black family but they seem incidental.

2. Honestly, the Featherington Sisters who I'll just call the Terrible Sisters seem to be the only ones actually having fun with their husbands. I mean there's Kanthony but they're busy getting busy, so.

3. Colin's coat, doesn't it kinda make him look like a bum tho?

4. I would love this height difference if he were anyone else.

5. "You're saying you want my help after what Lady Whistledown wrote?" SHE WROTE NOTHING. GET IT TOGETHER.

6. Lady Featherington this entire season is going to be like

7. I WANT TO BE OUT SHOWING OFF MY HUSBAND, NOT IN BED. AND IT FLATTENS MY HAIR. Priorities.

8. Honestly, this show doesn't care about rules, tell her to get on top.

9. I don't know, the play at debauchery annoys me, either he's having a threesome in bed or we don't have to see it.

10. "Do you know what I discovered abroad?" "I've been to 17 countries, do you know what I discovered?" He's that guy. That guy is annoying.

11. Who ARE these people?

12. That is a hideous dress.

13. They couldn't get a French English-speaking actress?

14. Jesus christ, how many of these Bridgerton children are there?

15. Oh my god, they are DULL.

16. I just find it funny because as a teen, friends-to-lovers was my jam and I just feel absolutely nothing about this.

17. She is giving and he gives nothing back. GAZE at her with your "remarkably blue eyes" dammit.

18. Bridgerton annoys me so much with the lack of chemistry.

19. Like her reading his sex journal and getting turned on by it, theoretically I get that, theoretically I should be fangirling but I'm just like who CARES, it's Colin?

20. But honestly, more than that, they don't have the chemistry necessary for me to find this giddy and sexy and cute-embarrassing because they don't have sexual tension and they don't have familiarity either. They're just two people in a room.

21. I'm holding my head because this ENTIRE sequence is passionless and bloodless. She's reading his journal, he catches her, she's flustered, he knocks over whatever that was made of glass, she rushes to help him, OMG THE TOUCHING OF THEIR HANDS, THERE'S SOMETHING THERE. I get it. I can SEE this written, I know what it's supposed to be and it's FLAT and it's contained and it's contrived. Nothing about this feels like it organically happened.

22. And the way they're staring at each other is just ... *sigh* I SHOULD BE GETTING ROSSCHEL

23. Miss Featherington talking to her sons-in-law like

24. I don't think I've EVER laughed out loud watching this show until now

25. "Mr. Dankworth you are ... so ... pretty." "Oh!" How can anyone care about the romances in this show?

26. Uh oh, Fuck boy Mouse Man is getting jealous. She touched Lord Basilieo's hand.

27. I mean, OG Mouse Man was a fuck boy too. They're all pretty terrible.

28. "His horse recently died" *laughs* what?

29. "When I have a disagreement with someone, I find the best course of action is simply to pretend they are dead." Ha! I think I just like all of the terrible people in the show. They're more fun!

30. My family was indeed worried about me as a child since I only loved the Disney villains.

31. That was an odd dance.

32. I mean they all look odd to me.

33. "This can all be rather enjoyable" I mean, can it? Can it really?

34. Why do we care about these Kent people?

35. "That is quite ... expressive music" is there music that isn't expressive? Help me god.

36. "I might be pregnant already! I must eat for two." "Your arrogance does not count as two people." I DON'T CARE, THEY HAVE THE BEST LINES. THEY'RE NEARLY FUNNY.

37. MOM. WE ALREADY HAD SEX.

38. "INSERTS HIMSELF? Inserts himself WHERE?" Like this is the most entertaining part of the show.

39. "Did you read the passage about Lady Carter's housekeeper??" Read it? I wrote it!

40. Again, the gossiping about Colin helping Penelope should be dramatic and it's ... not? Like they do the vertigo effect and she's crying in the carriage and it still feels muted.

41. "I could die tomorrow and I've never been kissed and that would kill me." "But you'd already be dead, so..." Paraphrasing but LOL. I know what they're doing/going for but it really just sounds like he does NOT want to kiss her.

42. Also giving Jacob and Bella vibes. If you don't want me to die you must kiss me.

LET'S EXTORT KISSES.

43. Nicola deserves a better screen partner, jesus.

44. This is supposed to be transformative and I just DON'T believe it.

[420technoblazeit]

ok so i rewatched gabriel's big 2 episodes, changing channels and hammer of the gods. and honestly? jesus christ they were so good. like i had to pause the episode multiple times to scream about it, insane how good this show was at its peak

and like. gabriel's great in both episodes, i love the contrast of his playful side and the moments where sam and dean really piss him off. it's so easy to forget how dangerous he is when he's literally just trapped them in a sitcom but then he does something like teleport cas into an alternate dimension with a snap of his fingers and it's like. it's just so good. he was so fun and i know it would've been bad pacing but i wish gabriel was in more episodes

i love that they drew a parallel between gabriel and dean as characters who have so much weight on their shoulders and don't know what to do with it other than hide everything behind a carefree demeanour. i know gabriel doesn't actually die in this scene and i watched his season 13 episodes before they. killed him off for no real reason i guess. but the act of him confronting lucifer and standing with humanity after an eternity of running away is still real and it's sad that after everything lucifer was ready to kill him just like that. i really do think that gabriel still felt betrayed in the end, even if he knew it was coming and lucifer could never give up his revenge. that was still his brother and he still hesitated, even if lucifer didn't

and i always knew that mark pellegrino as lucifer was great but oh my god the snarkiness? the confidence in his voice, the sureness that he really does deserve to end the whole world and kill his brother in cold blood to get his revenge? the tears in his eyes when he stabs gabriel anyway??? season 5 lucifer was so good. i really buy the idea that lucifer feels like what he's doing is justified

hammer of the gods really nailed in the idea that as high stakes and insane as the apocalypse plot was, it was really grounded in the simplest of things. gabriel says it himself, it all boils down to lucifer feeling betrayed by god and wanting his revenge after everything that happened. that's all it was and ever will be, a family feud

and it's not that the later seasons of supernatural are awful, but the application of dean and sam's relationship as brothers paralleling the struggle of the archangels and their broken family gives michael and lucifer especially a lot more nuance. the later villains don't really get that, with the exception of maybe crowley and rowena but they get full fledged redemption arcs so that 's a whole other case entirely. but having the actual devil in your show and then tying his story to your main protagonist's to give him a sense of humanity is so fucking compelling. drives me nuts

[oh-surprise-its-me]

Jamie/Roy prompt: During season 2 with AU of Roy and Keeley not being together. When Jamie is trying to get Roy to coach him and Roy shoves him, Roy's just a little to forceful and actually sends Jamie flying into one of the cubbies. Roy's instantly remorseful, Ted is beyond disappointed, and worse still, Jamie looks up at Roy in pain and with genuine fear in his eyes. Jamie withdraws from Roy completely, and Roy is sick with guilt. He's willing to do anything to make it up to Jamie. Jamie will let him because he wants to be better and he never stopped loving Roy.

Jesus Christ leave me alone with the angst already god. (Kidding, i love it. please don’t stop)

Roy knows he has almost no right to show up at Jamie’s house at 2am. He has to apologize again. He had another nightmare about Jamie.

He knocks. The door cracks open, Jamie’s in pink sweatpants. “Roy? You okay?”

Roy opens his mouth. How does Jamie still ask how Roy is doing after all this.

“Roy? Come in, Christ come on. Go on the couch I’ll be right there.” Roy sits because what else should he do.

Jamie comes back with two cups of tea. He sits with his legs curled up under himself. He looks so homie that Roy doesn’t even know where to start. He jumps right in.

“I’m sorry. Sorry for all the ways I treated you. Sorry for ever touching you with violence. Really fucking sorry I shoved you. I’m so sorry Jamie.”

Jamie blinks. Not what he expected. He sets his tea down. He slides closer to Roy and takes his hand. “It’s been a month since that happened Roy, I’m over it. It’s fine. We were both at the end of our ropes. Just don’t do it again and we’re good.”

Roy nods, he squeezes Jamie’s hand, “I know. And I know we’ve talked it over before. I just, fuck. I had a nightmare about you and I needed to apologize.”

Oh.

Oh.

“Sounds like we are both missing out on sleep today. How about we go sleep in my king bed and not train in the morning and you can cook to make things better.”

“Yeah please.”

Jamie stands and pulls Roy with him. Drags him to his bedroom, never the way he imagined but still happening. “Lay down, but know that when I share a bed with someone I always cuddle in my sleep.”

Roy let’s our a smile. “It’s okay. I’m grabby in my sleep.”

Jamie without much thought kisses Roy’s cheek when he lays down. He freezes. “If you wanna be completely forgiven right now forget I did that.”

Roy looks at him for a second. “Hit me if I’m wrong here.”

Roy kisses him. It might be the softest kiss Jamie’s ever had. They keep kissing until they both start yawning. Jamie claims a spot to put his head on Roy’s shoulder.

They go to sleep that night knowing things might’ve been fucked up but it’s on a rapid road to repair.

[kitkatnerds3]

BSD S5 EP 9

I have not finished the episode yet but I've just gotten to the Fukufuku backstory (specifically the part where they just met and its night and they're lying on the floor together) and, these two are fucking dark timeline Renga from sk8! 'The way of the sword is enjoyable!' and 'I'm going to master the sword alongside you' vs 'skating is fun!' and 'I want to skate with you infinitely' I swear Fukuchi even did the same hand movement that Reki did at some point. Energetic sunshine (at least at the moment) x calm and collected. I am getting such strong Renga vibes from that scene and it's driving me insane.

OK I JUST WATCHED TWO (2) SECONDS FURTHER AND NOW WE'RE IN A FUCKING SHOJO ANIME! BONES LOVES OLD MAN YAOI SO MUCH! THIS IS SO GAY! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY CHERRY BLOSSOMS!!? A CHERRY BLOSSOM PETAL IN THE SHAPE OF A HEART JUST FELL INTO FUKUZAWAS SAKE(?) AND THEN BROKE INTO TWO. THEY'RE NOT EVEN BEING SUBTLE WITH THE 'THIS (ROMANTIC) RELATIONSHIP IS ABOUT TO GO O SHIT' -NESS

DONT DO SYMBOLISM WITH THE FUCKING BIRDS YOU DUMB SHOW! I SEE WHAT YOU'RE FUCKING DOING! For context, they were having a conversation but the focus was on these two egrets? herons? anyways, and then one of them just flew off when Fukuchi said that he was gonna be promoted and sent to the battlefield , which is what separated these two. I'm going to die, I'm not entirely sure why but I am. /pos

Fuck it, I'm committing to the live blog. enjoy seeing my live uncut reactions folks!

The animation is so pretty bro, bones adores their old man yaoi.

Ok, old man yaoi backstory is over , and before I move on to the next thing I just wanna say, young Fukuzawa was so fucking cute! He was an old man even when he was a baby! he was adorable! and honestly so was Fukuchi! I'm very sad that he became the way he is now, war really does stuff to people, huh?

Ok I'm a little bit confused, I didn't realize that he had told that United Nations guy the half-truth. But whatever, that's on me I guess.

OK! JESUS FUCK THE MORE I HERE ABOUT THE WAR THE WORSE IT GETS. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SOLDIERS HAD TO EAT EACHOTHER AND WERE SHOT FOR TRYING TO DESERT! MAYBE I SHOUD HAVE EXPECTED THAT IT IS WAR BUT JESUS CHRIST!

God, Fukufuku are so gay. I know that stabbing someone isn't exactly romantic but he Fukuzawa did the thing where you grab onto the other persons clothes and after Fukuchi stabbed him his head ended up resting on his chest. This is PEAK romantic tradgedy.

Teruko, I love you. She looks so pretty and she is so hecking smart and I just adore her. She let Atsushi go! Woohoo!! Also, Atsushi's hallucinations are really coming in full force, huh? He is seeing so many people.

Dazai and Sigma are so silly, I love them, Dazai stop flirting for two fucking seconds challenge. Also, it's fun to hear that Dazai is screwing around with Sigma while thinking of Kunikida! Truly every ship is being fed this season! Except sskk, but we did get Aku in Atsushi's hallucinations doing a thing so that's kinda a win for the gays!

Wow! What a nice elevator! I'm sure nothing bad will happen here!

Oh catgirl, you left us too soon.

I must say, I don't really have much to say on the Meursault section. It was good! The animation was great as it usually is for the Meursault sections, Sigma was so pretty I love him and! Dazai did the thing where he played with Sigma's hair! Woo! Fyodor was his usual level of kinda ugly in anime form, Dazai is showing emotions! more of the sillies, Dazai fucking stood on Sigma, which is delightful, aaaaaaand it's started to flood! Fuck!

Anyways, back to the very start of this episode before I was overcome by the homosexual-ness of Fukufuku, Aya Bram Kunikida and Tanizaki got yoinked! Fuck! I still have a theory that Tanizaki could be doing an illusion and I will make a post about it one day. And also, please excuse me for saying this because while I am still upset about Ranpo being hurt... watching Fukuchi pick him up by the scruff of his neck like a cat was kinda hilarious. Also, Teruko I love you. You're the only hunting dog that heard about Fukuchi's real identity and didn't immediately die. Girlboss fr. Also also, where are Lucy Kyouka and Yosano :D? W-where did they go? Asagiri please I need to see my girls.

And to once again revisit the old gays, Holy Shit that was so gay. Nobody told me that the Fukufuku backstory was a Sports Anime tm that turned into a war drama in the second season! I knew we said they were divorced but I never realized just how married they were before the separation! Wow! Fukuzawa smiled so softly at Fukuchi! They were such sweet kids! Aagh!

This was a good episode! I liked this! Excited for next Wungo Wednesday!

[brainddeadd]

BRAINDEAD REVIEWS

THE WALKING DEAD: Season 5

Overall thoughts

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

S5, ep 1

‘Then’ THEN WHAT 

BEFORE THE WORLD WENT TO SHIT ???

WHOS SCREAMING 

Were they forced into being pieces of shit at Terminus ????

‘Now’ ok 

They gassed them ?!?!?!?!

THEY GOT THE KID FROM THE HOUSE IN SEASON 4 

They gonna chop them in half or something ?????

THEY SLIT THE KIDS THROAT

IMAGINE SURVIVING A FUCKING ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE JUST TO HAVE SOME DICK SLIT YOUR THROAT 

And now the place is being blown up

Jesus christ 

CAROL NO

TURN AROUND 

“Bitch looked like a weapon with a weapon.” You’re correct but don’t you dare call her a bitch 

Carol not believing a word that dick says - queen shit 

“Horrible shit just stacks up..” You are the horrible shit man 

ITS CAROL BLOWING THE PLACE UP 

HELL YEAH 

Carol I love you 

On fire zombies.. well shit 

Rick what a man 

WHAT 

THE 

FUCK

ARE 

THESE 

PEOPLE 

DOING 

JESUS 

CHRIST 

The shit from all the people they’ve killed - the teddies from children 

LEAVE THE BABY OUT OF IT FUCKER 

Eugene is full of shit 

100% full of shit 

CAROL AND DARYL HUG 

YES

REUNITED AT LAST 

HIS CRYING AND PUTTING HIS FACE ON HER SHOULDER 

OJSDNFJDENFKDS

WNDFJKDN

DCJNWRIJVNAEUIVRSKVWAPIREJNDV

REUNITED

YES

That’s quite a group they’ve got 

Who the fuck took over terminus tho???

“You’re either the butcher or the cattle.” Yeah but y’all chose the wrong cattle this time 

S5, ep 2

“Will you have us?” Dude you’re her family 

Daryl just.. being there for Carol, knowing what she needs, accepting that she doesn’t wanna talk about it 

WHAT WAS THAT

WHO WAS THAT 

“We surrender.” He’s so funny man 🤣🤣🤣

Not Daryl being confused that the Pastor is puking after seeing them kill walkers like pookie not everyone is like you 

Gabriel - I don’t trust him

The loyalty to Rick is amazing 

Gabriel is too scared to not be hiding something 

Bob, this is the world now. It’s not gonna get better. Eugene is full of shit. 

DROPPING THE WATER AS HE’S ASKING IF SHE WANTS HIM TO CARRY ONE OF HERS 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 HER LIL “hmm no” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 that was 100% a blooper they left in 

“It was a stack of boxes.. and a mop.. and I tripped.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

‘YOU’LL BURN FOR THIS’ well fuck 

Where is Bob going 

Tara thank you for telling Maggie the truth 

Oh damn Rick ok slay 

THE CAR THAT TOOK BETH 

Who the fuck

What the fuck

Its the Terminus fucks 

EATING PEOPLE 

PARDON

OH MY GOD

THEYVE TAKEN HIS LEG

OH MY GOD

“If it makes you feel any better, you taste much better than we thought you would.” HOW IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER 

S5, ep 3

I’m still reeling from the fact that they’re cannibals 

“You join us or feed us.” That’s not much of a choice buddy 

Gareth wanting Carol - gonna have to go through Daryl and me first buddy boy 

Bob losing his shit laughing because they’ve just eaten him when he’s been bitten - karma 

There’s the ‘A’ again - what the fuck does that mean 

I get Abraham wanting to leave but come on man, Eugenes full of shit 

Gareth is a fucker 

HE SHOT OFF HIS FINGER HELL YEAH 

They got what they deserve 

MAGGIE AND GLENN LEAVING NO

DARYL

Where’s Carol?

Who ?????

S5, ep 4

Beth ?!?!? 

In a hospital ?!?!?!

Police ?!?!?!?

“So you owe us.” FUCK NO

WHAT 

THE 

ACTUAL 

FUCK

THE BODY DOWN THE ELEVATOR SHAFT 

Ok yeah I kinda skipped the rest cause I don’t really like Beth - but ik wack shit happens to her 

S5, ep 5

Eugene is so full of shit holy fuck 

Who the fuck is beating the shit out of someone ???? Pls don’t let it be Rick 

ABRAHAM - flashback ??? Yep 

“Really need some ass first.” Why would you.. don’t.. no yuck.. ugh men 

FUCK EUGENE 

He put crushed glass in fuel line 

Oh god what was the fire truck keeping locked away 

Yo what the fuck is going on in Abrahams past 

He is Insane 

“I’m not a scientist!” THE FUCK YOU MEAN BOY

OH 

I 

FUCKEN 

KNEW 

IT

EUGENES A PIECE OF SHIT 

Fuck Eugene 

S5, ep 6

They really want Beth back 

A woman’s and children’s shelter that Carol went to 

Daryl stopping her from killing the walkers of people she probably knew - doing it for her and burning them 

Whos following my people around 

“Looks like a dog sat in paint and wiped its ass all over the place.” 🤣🤣🤣

I love the way Daryl says ‘stop’ when someone’s (Carol’s) saying funny shit and he doesn’t wanna laugh 

“You don’t know me.” “Yep. You keep telling yourself that.”

Is that the dude from the hospital?? The one that tried to help Beth escape ??

Daryl taking a child abuse survivor book, I love him 

THE VAN

ON THE BRIDGE 

SHIT 

“It’s like you were a kid. Now you’re a man.” 

“We ain’t ashes.”

“I already helped you once. It ain’t happening again.” Damn ok 

THEY JUST RAN OVER CAROL 

SO NOW THEY’VE GOT BETH AND CAROL 

OH THEYRE FUCKED 

S5, ep 7

I still don’t trust the pastor man 

Maggie pulling a gun on Abraham when he threatens Rosita slayyyy

Fuck Eugene 

Fuck the guys in the hospital - those cops are shit 

The walkers on the ground that’s a lot in the burnt area 

Don’t hurt Daryl fuck 

Handful of Dixon ass - mood 

DON’T TRY AND FEED DARYL TO A WALKER BITCH 

USING A WALKERS HEAD AS A WEAPON KFNJRNFOO YUCK 

What is the pastor man doing??

Beth being sneaky is not what I thought I’d ever see 

Fucken pastor man 

Why the fuck would you trust the cop you just kidnapped ?!?!? Are you stooopidddddd

S5, ep 8

RICK HITTING HIM WITH A CAR 

I mean.. at least he didn’t let the walkers get him

Maggie and Glenn are back finally

Go get Beth

Beth killing that dickhead cop

Don’t fucken ask for the kid - let him go 

Daryl and Rick squaring up for Noah 

BETH STABBED THE COP

BETH GOT SHOT IN THE HEAD BY THE COP

DARYL KILLING THE COP - shit he’s pissed 

DARYL CRYING

Daryl carrying Beth out and Maggie falling to her knees 

Holy shit 

That.. fuck ok

S5, ep 9

Noah’s family 

Finding his mother like that 

OH MY GOD 

TYRESE 

NO 

GETTING BIT BY NOAHS SIBLING 

Why is Tyrese SEEING DEAD PEOPLE 

Cutting off his arm like that 

Holy shit 

Who the fuck decapitated those walkers???

NO TYRESE NO

S5, ep 10

Daryl don’t eat the worm

Please don’t eat the worm

Oh for fucks sake

He ate the worm 

Y’all can’t die like this cmon 

How they keeping the baby alive ?!?!?

Carol telling Daryl to feel it and then kissing his forehead in what is probably one of the only moments of kindness and gentleness he’s ever experienced is WAY too much for me to handle 

THE WOMAN TIED UP IN THE BOOT OF THE CAR AND LEFT TO DIE 

The feral dogs - good lord what are they going to do 

SASHA KILLED THE DOGS 

THEY EAT THE DOGS 

I GET IT BUT HOLY EW 

Daryl putting the cigarette out on his skin fuck

CRYING NO 

The water being left for them - who the fuck ??

GLENNS SMILE AT THE RAIN !!!!!!!!!!

Carl covering the baby with his hat so she doesn’t get too wet 

STORM 

Bby Carl sleeping finally 

“We tell ourselves that we are the walking dead.” “We ain’t them.”

OH THATS A LOT OF WALKERS 

He cleaned the music box for Maggie 🥹🥹🥹

HOLY FUCK 

THAT WAS A BIG ASS STORM 

Aaron ??

How does he know Rick ?!?!?!

S5, ep 11

Daryl going absolutely insane when Aaron is brought in 

“Audition for membership” the fuck 

AYO RICK 

“Long enough to see that despite a lack of food and water, you never turned on each other.” They’re family dude 

“You can trust me.” They’re running a bit low on trust at the moment buddy 

Driving through the walkers like that is wild 

Why so freaked out over a flare gun ???

Alexandria 

Eric 

S5, ep 12

“We brought dinner.” 🤣🤣🤣 

Don’t mind them, they haven’t been house trained yet 

Deanna and Reg 

The beard really makes Rick look feral 

“I’ve killed people.” Yeah how many now?? 

“Sounds like I’d wanna be part of your family.” me too lady, me too 

“I want you to help us survive.”

THATS SO MANY GUNS

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Carol struggling 

OK WHYD HE SHAVE IT OFF COMPLETELY 

Jessie - Ron & Sam

“I won’t bite.” He might 

“The boy and the baby, they deserve a roof.” Pookie 

GUTTING THE ANIMAL ON RICK’S FRONT PORCH IS FERAL OF YOU DARYL DIXON 

Them thinking that being neighbours is too much distance - staying in one house together 

I love everyones collective shock at Rick’s shaved face 

“And I’m just trying to figure Mr Dixon out, but I will.” I wouldn’t count on it hunny 

Daryl please for the love of God, have a shower 

Rick’s panic - bless him - “I was in the middle of losing my mind.” 

Mikey and Enid 

Oh poor sweet baby Carl - bless you child 

“I didn’t just lose her. I killed her.” Jesus 

They’ve been on the run and fighting for their lives for so long, they’ve forgotten how to exist peacefully and without fear - without the suspicion and without feeling like everyone and everything is out to get them 

“They’re weak. And I don’t want us to get weak too.” I genuinely don’t think that’s possible Carl 

CAROL 

“DEN MOTHER” 

“NICE ENOUGH TO PROTECT ME”

WOMAN 

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

DARYL’S FACE WHEN SHE COMES OUT IN THOSE CLOTHES - MAN LITERALLY FROZE 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

THAT WAS A LAUGH  

“Have you taken a shower yet?” “Mm-hmm.” When? The 80s???

“Im gonna hose you down in your sleep.” Please do. I think he has to smell like a bio-hazard by now. 

“You look ridiculous.” How kind of you Dixon 

Enid sneaking out ok 

Aiden and Nicholas 

CARL DON’T FOLLOW HER 

Who took the gun Rick hid???

They WHAT with the walker ??? The fuck ???? 😐😐😐

Aiden swinging on Glenn - Glenn dropping him with a single hit - Daryl immediately jumping in - Daryls growling and feral dog pacing - yes 👀

When your own mother thanks someone for knocking you on your ass you know its bad 

“.. Then we’ll just take this place.” Oh FUCK

S5, ep 13

Sleeping on the floor in their own places cause its what they’re used to 

Olivia - pantry and weapons 

“They just keep getting luckier.” .. “We’re here now.” Facts 

Them pretending to be teaching Carol how to shoot while they make plans - iconic considering she’s a queen 

‘W’ on the walker’s forehead ????? Or ‘M’ ??

Imagine trying to get the jump on Daryl - could never be me 

Daryl’s extra hot these last 2 episodes 

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU CAN’T TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WALKERS BY SOUND ?!?!?! HOW ARE YOU ALIVE ??!?!?!?

She has high hopes for a world in the middle of a zombie apocalypse 

“People are the real threat now.” They kinda always were tho dude 

A welcoming party ??? Seriously ???

“We can’t use Daryl. They’re watching every move he makes.” Leave my Pookie alone 

“I get to be invisible again.” DFNDWOSKNFLKDKNFIJ I HATE YO EX HUSBAND 

Horsey 

Knowing that Norman is terrified of horses makes this hilarious to watch 

“I ain’t gonna hurt ya.” Pookie 

“You used to be somebody’s huh? Now you’re just yours.” That’s oddly profound 

Tobin - weapons 

“The more afraid they get, the more stupid they get.” 

Daryl going to save the horse 

Walkers eating animals - I knew it but fuck it sucks 

NO

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NO 

NOT THE HORSE 

NO 

NO 

Killing the walkers that kill the horse 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

THATS THE SADDEST DEATH SO FAR 

Daryl lurking outside the party 

“I said try. You did.” 

Pete - doctor 

Pete and Jessie have red ‘A’ on their hands 

Idk how I feel about Jessie 

“I’m just saying, we all lost things.” Yeah but you’ve been behind a wall for god knows how long while Rick and his family were fighting for their lives from cannibals and rapists

Spencer - one of Deanna’s sons 

Pookie, baby, stop eating like that 

“👹Thanks👹”

Aaron has a job for Daryl - and a bike 

YOU WANT DARYL DIXON TO BE A RECRUITER ?!?!?!?

“You want me risking mine, right?” Such a fair comment 

Was that a flicker of emotion on your face I just saw Daryl Dixon ?!??!

“Thanks.. 👹I’ll get you some👹 rabbits👹” 

God Carol don’t get caught 

Not the fucking kid 

CAROL

DAMN 

“You’ll be outside the walls, far, far away, tied to a tree.” Fuck ok 

Why are people expecting them to just.. bounce back into ‘normality’ after god knows how long fighting for their lives ???

RICK

NO

NO

ABSOLUTELY NOT 

It’s a zombie apocalypse and you’re worried about your book club ???? The fuck is wrong with you 

SASHA BBY CALM 

I KNOW THEY’RE CRAZY 

KEEP IT TOGETHER 

S5, ep 14

Pastor man ripping up the Bible 

BIKE 

DARYL 

DARYL ON BIKE 

KSJDFNORNFVOIK

Reg agreeing to teach Noah about architecture 

I’m just waiting for shit to hit the fan 

“Now you’re going to die.” On the music is ironic and not at all helpful 

EUGENE SHUT THE FUCK UP

Why are you questioning Glenn?!?!?

Aiden you are a fucking idiot and I hate you 

Glad he’s dead

Tara pls don’t be dead 

Eugene pls die 

This fucken kid is really annoying Jesus 

Fuck Aiden’s not dead 

“Let’s be friends man.” Why you being threatening then Pete ?

Aiden deserves it 

Pete’s abusing Jessie - calling it now 

Fuck Nicholas man - walkers got Noah because Nicholas is a coward 

Pastor man thinks that Satan is at play in the walls of Alexandria - through Rick and his family 

Carol also thinks Pete is abusing Jessie 

“The day will come when they’ll put their own lives before yours and everyone else’s and they will destroy everything you have here, everything you’re working so hard to build.” 

“You’re gonna have to kill him.” Uh.. ok. 

S5, ep 15

The music is a vibe 

Sasha sweetie you ok? 

OI CAROL MADE THAT FOR YOU

DON’T YOU DARE IGNORE IT 

Light off in the distance - Daryl leave it alone 

Nicholas you piece of shit 

Also don’t trust Spencer 

Actually - I don’t trust any of the people in Alexandria 

She knew he was beating his wife and she did nothing about it - get fucked 

They’ve been fighting for so long they need it 

Who’s hacking up walkers ????

THE WOMAN TIED TO A TREE AND LEFT TO DIE 

‘W’ again 

“If it’s gotten worse, it means he’s killed you.” Facts 

Rick why this chick ??

Don’t lie Rick, you have done this shit foe others 

“Someone who’s trying not to kill you.” I get it, but like.. please do 

“We’re the ones who live.” 

“We have to control who lives here.” “Thats never been more clear to me than right now.” So Rick’s gotta go but the wife beater can stay? Get fucked 

MICHONNE ?!?!?!

S5, ep 16

Morgan? 

Who’s the dick with the gun? 

HES GOT A ‘W’

Y’all are getting yo asses beat 

Why’d you roll up on a man with a gun that doesn’t work?????

DARYL

YO THIS EPISODE IS OVER AN HOUR LONG THE FUCK 

“Because these people are children and children like stories.” 

Sasha what the fuck are you doing? 

Are the people they sent away going to cause problems ???

Side note: Carl and Rick have the same eyes - the casting director did a good job there 

WHO RIGGED THE TRUCKS 

‘W’ 

Using the chain fuckkkkk

‘Trap. Bad people coming. Don’t stay.’ Well fuck 

“And then who would believe I did it because I didn’t like you?” Carol my queen 

“You’re a small, weak nothing.” Slay 

NICHOLAS I WILL KILL YOU

HOW DARE YOU 

LEAVE GLENN ALONE 

Why in the FUCK would you make it so the wife beater can see his wife’s house when you’ve separated him ?????

Ayeeeeee we got a Daryl chuckle !!!!

MORGAN SAVING DARYL AND AARON 

Please let the Pastor man die 

Rosita meddling to get Abraham and Eugene to talk - mother of 2 shitty kids behaviour 

NO

DON’T LEAVE THE GATE OPEN 

YOU FUCKER 

Don’t fucking leave Glenn to die you bastard 

“I’m still with you.” Obviously 

RICK 

LEAVE THE GATE 

PASTOR MAN HAS PROBABLY DONE IT ON PURPOSE TO FRAME YOU 

FUCKEN HELL

WALK AWAY 

“I think I wanna die.” Sasha you’ve been through hell and you’re not back yet. 

Pastor man can rot 

GUYS

WHILE YOU’RE DECIDING IF HE’S WORTH IT, HE’S SAVING YOUR LIVES FROM WALKERS 

Oh thank god Glenn 

Who shot the walker on Rick ??? Sasha ????

“Simply put, there is a vast ocean of shit that you people don’t know shit about. Rick knows every fine grain of said shit and then some.” Yes, yes he does. 

Rick, bby, that’s not how you do this 

Nicholas begging for his life - as he should 

‘W’ has photos of Rick and Carl -  fuck 

Pete killing Reg 

“Rick.. do it.” Oh so he can kill when its convenient for YOU 

Daryl and Aaron bringing Moran to Rick, just as Rick kills Pete 

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 1, Episode 21 (Love, Daisies, and Troubadors) Part THREE.

Please check out my pinned post for the rest of season 1 as well as part 1 & 2 of this season finale. We resume our regularly scheduled program, which is Buttzilla Forrester in the middle of a jealous rage, trying to manipulate RoryGil (who isn't even his girlfriend anymore, by the way).

I HATE IT when Rory apologizes to Dean like this and she's done literally nothing wrong! It's so sad. My feelings about later seasons Rory are...a mixed bag to say the least, but I will defend Season 1 Rory with all my might.

Gaslighting: to manipulate (someone) by psychological means into questioning their own sanity. Buttzilla: Your boyfriend's waiting. RoryGil: He's not my boyfriend, I hate him! Buttzilla: Whatever. Biggest fictional piece of shit on the planet. Literal dogshit stuck to the bottom of your shoe. RG: Dean, stop! Buttzilla: Why. RG, Pained and Unconvincing: Cause I love you, you idiot. You know there are literal people that find this exchange romantic? Not many,as The Dean Forrester fandom is small and they seem to know their place and not emerge from the shadows. But they exist. Uh oh. I hear corny music... it's happening...

Alexis is frozen solid. She is not moving. Her mouth isn't moving. Her hands are not moving. Her spine is stiff. I don't even need to post pics or gifs of her kissing Milo to compare the two, we've all seen them.

Easy there, JarPad! Release that poor girl from your kung-fu grip! Screen shots don't illustrate the frantic speed in which he is mashing his mouth against hers either. Oh no, now we're getting into the closeups. I'm so sorry for doing this. I hope you can forgive me.

She's a woman, not a lemon! Jesus christ! The vein in his neck is throbbing.

If you would like me to further ruin your Thanksgiving, imagine this following disturbing but absolutely true scenario: Rory and Dean sleep together. Dean refuses to go down on her, fucks her for 15 seconds, finishes and has this same stupid smile on his face, all "was it good for you baby?" and Rory's like "Sure, you did great, tiger." and he believes it. Also Lindsay. Poor Lindsay. #JusticeForLindsay Ugh. I survived. We all survived. Ya'll okay? Diet Logan witnesses this and puts down Rory's books, probably traumatized into being a better person, because I know I was close to promising I'd find Jesus if only that kiss would mercifully end. We cut to the Indepdence Inn and Michel and Kirk arguing because Max took Lorelai's "1,000 yellow daisies" suggestion very, very literally and the Inn is now filled with fucking flowers. Kirk Job: Flower delivery man. Lorelai stands there in stark silence admiring the daisies while Michel calls daisies "Pitiful little things, a notch up from weeds", which is also what I think of Dean Forrester. This relationship is going to LAST....! ...For about another four episodes. Max: I didn't propose to you because we were fighting. I proposed because I love you. Lorelai:

"Help. Me." MM: We're in a bad pattern Lorelai, and we have to break it. That's why you proposed to end an argument, got rejected, didn't have any discussion about it whatsoever like grown ups, pretended it didn't happen, took an off the cuff suggestion she gave you way too literally, then waited exactly one more day to propose a second time. Goes into a blathering Mediocre English Teacher Speech about how books just can't compare to real life blah blah blah. Look, in my occasional headcanon where Jess Mariano grows up to become an English teacher he would never be this fucking pretentious. Lorelai: "God you talk so good." To be fair, he doesn't exactly propose to her over the phone, he's all "think it over" but this thing with the daisies feels really manipulative. How the hell is she gonna say no now? Lorelai bursts into Luke's Diner. Luke: Ahhh, you made me spill. He said the same thing while he was fixing her porch rail.

Cute.

"I just got manipulated back into a shitty relationship wtih a shitty male!" "Me too Mom! Me too! This is so exciting!" Happy Thanksgiving!

[pandaspwnz]

I decided to watch season 3 of the witcher (the first 5 episodes that are out at this point at least) and by the time I finished it, I kind of forgot why I had been so hesitant to start watching it in the first place, aside of course the whole Henry Cavill leaving thing (and to clarify, I'm not watching season 4 and onwards because he's absolutely correct in why he's leaving, the show won't be the same without him, and the whole Joey having to write a 7000 word essay to get proper representation vis a vis Jaskier thing etc etc) because honestly I thoroughly enjoyed s3 so far! I did think the 5th episode was a bit.. or a lot 'meh'? But still. Then I remembered ofc that I'd been so hesitant because season 2 was ASS.

Anyway, I never watched Blood Origin, and after looking around the witcher subreddit and seeing that everybody apparently fucking hates s3, which I've concluded I liked so far, and also hates Blood Origin, I figured hey it might just be another one of those things where I would feel differently than the people who hate it.

So I just finished watching it and oh. my god. It SUCKS. ASS.

It's so fucking bad!!

Now I won't do what a lot of people have and go EUGH WOKE LEFTISTS RUINED IT or IT'S FULL OF BAD ACTING because what the hell are you talking about. First of all the only truly good thing about Blood Origin imo was the diversity. The most interesting story lines imo was Meldof and what happened with Gwen, I would have loved to see more of her story and her getting revenge, and Meldof was so endearing! I really loved how Francesca Mills played her. The humor came across as humorous, the grief was sad, and the weird goofy offball energy was delightful. I also think she did the fight scenes really well!

Also Eredin and Brían's story would have been so much more interesting to explore than what we got. Like hello? High ranking fancy schmancy general falls in love with a low born merchant? Even goes so far as to betray his ally for the sake of raising his lover in society, so they can be together without sneaking around? That's a classic premise for a reason! The reason being it's compelling and romantic! I love that shit.

I also don't feel like we needed seven characters. I loved Scìan and wish we had seen more of her life both before and after losing her clan. I didn't really feel we had time at all to get to know Brother Death and Zacaré at all, and even though I especially liked the actress who played Zacaré, neither of those two characters really made much impact on their own. I feel like they could have been condensed into other characters to make fewer stronger characters instead of many weaker ones. I also don't think we really learned very much about Syndril as a person, so if he had been combined with Zacaré, I think that would have worked better.

BUT I think every single actor in that show acted their heart out. They put their whole entire pussies into it!! And they did a great job with the material they had to work with. Unfortunately the material was bad (like jesus christ. by the power of friendship and also singing to calm the hulk like 3 times can we do literally anything else. Also everyone fucking singing the rose song like we GET IT but it felt so inauthentic and staged.) Also Fjall and Éile you knew each other for like 3 days calm down. There was no reason for them to fall in love aside from man meets woman and they are in physical proximity. I understand logically that they traveled together longer but it was SO rushed on screen. It was bad.

Anyway the costume design was gorgeous, and the makeup was as well. The fight scenes were nicely choreographed and shot. The effects were pretty good overall, I think!

But the pacing was bad, the script was bad, the dialogue was bad, it was bad. Beautiful but bad.

[brittlebonesguy]

12,13,finale,reunion

i hate robert’s flavor of deep voice. it’s grating to listen to. happy kathy won and not robert. not sure i like her son though.... the answer is yes kathy. you need to be a duo with rob because that is the only way to get to the final 2. the other duos are way too close. i think my favorite part of older survivor is that the people at the bottom of the alliances realize that they are in a terrible position and flip when they have to. people are way too passive in recent seasons it annoys me. there’s nothing i hate more than majority alliances picking off people one by one. its so boring. this season had that beginnings of that multiple times and then it just gets snipped in the bud. i love it. i do like kathy so if neleh has to go this episode so be it. in fact i welcome it. thank CHRIST neleh lost. out of the three duos in the game i like paschal and neleh the least just because. kathy....you’re fucked. so i’m hoping the v and sean duo survives but that will rest solely on who wins immunity and how kathy, the new swing vote, votes. 

i hope neleh wins this reward challenge since it’s the car one. and the myth does say if you win a car, you won’t win the show. sean......im so sorry but you aren’t winning the show after getting that car. rip. if i were the flip vote i’d side with v and sean because i feel like there’s a chance of separating them, but definitely not pachal and neleh. pachal it’s survivor everyone has an agenda. also not loving how he’s talking... and neleh and pashal say they have a “relationahip” but never say alliance. but when v and sean say the same thing they’re....deceiving you? in any case kathy’s best chance is with sean and v so i hope she goes full throttle with them. how does someone drop something every season when they do this challenge its amazing really. yessss kathyyyyy!! dropped her shit and still won. okay but sean is literally right. kathy.....dumb decision. oddly enough i’ll miss you sean.

 i need v to win immunity pronto. and NO KATHY you didn’t make right decision. anyway i hope v wins. omg!!!! v wins and her and kathy are gonna create an alliance to get to the final 2 together. please don’t let me down. please be serious you two. GOD YES i’ve missed pulling rocks im so happy it’s finally happening. and paschal who had no votes goes home. god i love drawing rocks. and just like that the universe said all women final 3. ideal situation for me really. final 2 v and kathy?👀 damn jeff....you’re just gonna say whatever now. nooooo i know neleh is gonna win. v whyy. you know what i’m fine with this final two and v get’s some money anyway (neleh is absolutely going to win, especially after seeing john’s reaction to v making a deal against kathy with neleh). not to be mean but i hate neleh’s “oh my heck” i really do. not them both thinking taking v/neleh to the final two i have a better shot. girlies only one of you is right. i’m glad you support women zoe love that for you and i too love an all women final. fuck offffff robert we know you don’t want a woman to win especially against you......a man who’s won one challenge. you’re a terrifying sight to behold.... john ajdhksjbskdb my god so righteous. there’s so much god talk this season damn. jesus tammy ajdsdsh lay INTO them. you know it’s funny that v and neleh wanted to play the game differently aka ethically and without lying because season 2 they was a lot less lying and more camaraderie than this season. the one that comes to mind is gina being voted out right after kathy, paschal and neleh all said we’re a family and we don’t vote based on tribal lines despite......mhm mmm sounds like you guys played way more ethically.  

not neleh saying she didn’t start playing the game until day 24....girl and then she didn’t even answer the question (aka what you did BY YOURSELF not in a group setting). 2 coasters sitting in the finale who don’t answer the questions at all 💅🏻. love that v really plain and simple said i should win because i fully played the game and...she’s right. neleh didn’t do a single thing this whole season. it’s always super religious people who do the bad things they yell at other people for doing huh. lying and cheating is bad unless i do it 🥺 neleh needs to stop admitting to not playing the game until like merge thats ridiculous 

yesss give me three full minutes of you and a helicopter jeffery. strong whistle jeffery no wonder the cab stopped. STOPP!!! “can i get a receipt?” i hope this gag never ends even though i know it does. too funny. congrats v! definitely played better than neleh. 

no.....noooo....WHY IS COLBY HERE???????????? but at least i can rest easy knowing that one host is gone. i couldn’t do another reunion with him. okay so i thin overall i would give this season an 8/10. i highly enjoyed it but i didn’t have a ride or die love of my life (you’ll always be in my heart teresa <3) and i did dislike several people which is why it isnt higher. however i LOVE LOVE the all women finale and the gameplay this season was actually interesting.

[normalenjoyer-png]

OKAY. OH MY GOD. SO. sweet tooth season 3 spoilers.

1. why doesn't gus get to commit violence.

the ending climax of sweet tooth was. genuinely almost unbearably long. and i'm somebody who is veeeryy ignorant to that type of stuff. but oh my god it jsut dragged on FOREVER. there were MULTIPLE times where i think gus should've gored ms zhang or just fucking.....fought back. it would've cut the climax time in half and been way better.

also jesus fucking christ gus had every reason to just fucking lose it. he should've lost it after birdy died. he just got her back and she's fucking dead. he ABSOLUTELY should've lost it after jepp was stabbed!! it was made really clear that he loves birdy yes, but he'd sooner choose jepp over her just because jepp's been more present for birdy. WHYYYYYY didn't he snap after he was stabbed.

2. i. do not think really. that there should've been a hybrid before gus.

the caribou man is a show-exclusive thing to my knowledge and gus being the first is jsut. way more impactful in my opinion. i feel like it just negates gus's importance to the extinction of humans. yes gus was the first of his time but still. cmon man.

3. i think the antler tree is stupid. sorry.

the coffins from the comic were way cooler and would've been way creepier. imagine finding the skeleton of yourself. imagine singh finding an empty coffin and thinking gus has to be put in there. idk. a lot of ways that could've been taken. i think tree of life shit is overdone when there's no worldbuilding surrounding it. i will say i like the scene where gus meets his pubba again, that was cute and made me cry and i like the trees being burned as a metaphor for humanity dying. i did not dig the burning of the antler tree. like. maybe i'm not reading far enough into it and im sure it has its merit to it but like....ok destroy the thing humans want so they can't have it! haha! defeated! blehhh boring. this wouldn't have happened if gus was allowed to commit violent acts.

4. ms zhang should've died a horrible death

gus should've gored her. jepp should've beaten her to a pulp. she is a nazi and abused the hell out of rosie and her other daughter and her grandkids. i did not like her being left by her crew i think she should've fucking died a horrible death. she shouldn't have been allowed to see her grandson.

5. singh's flip-flopping sides and procrastination in killing gus was annoying. i was with it for most of the season, cause his character IS just one working in his own best interest. but i just fuckin. lost it on him when he still sided with zhang in the cave. he should've also attacked her probably. or just like. committed to killing gus jesus fucking christ why wouldn't he just kill gus.

can i b so real i think they fumbled the bag on sweet tooth's ending REALLY bad

[watermelonlipstick]

Parking Lot

This is a love letter to the Dean who told Cassie everything about his life after knowing her for 2 weeks and who didn’t see What Is And What Should Never Be as a horror show until he saw his bond with Sam was gone. I don’t think it would work for a later seasons Dean, who had pretty conclusively abandoned this idea for himself. I’d love any advice or critiques!!

Title: Parking Lot

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3801

Summary: A parking lot quickie leads to an illuminating argument between Dean and the reader.

Warnings: Swearing, smut, angst, ~*idiots in love*~, fluff

           In a couple ways it seemed like a lesson; you really shouldn’t have been fooling around in a parking lot no matter how late at night it was. Especially not a bar’s parking lot, potentially more likely to be busy at this hour, shadows be damned.

           But it wasn’t all your fault, not by a long shot. Dean knew exactly what he was doing, getting a Manhattan rather than his standard straight bourbon just for the cherry, rolling it around with his tongue and licking his fingers of the juice while you waited for the guys you were playing pool against to shoot.

           If Sam had been there you might’ve been able to keep it together for politeness’s sake, but you didn’t give a shit about these people and you weren’t doing research for a case, just blowing off steam post-job before heading out of town in the morning.

           Two could play at Dean’s game, though, you arching your back deep into the table to make a shot and practically purring “your turn” when he was up, hovering close enough to see the goosebumps spread over his neck when he smirked and obeyed. He finished the game lightning fast with a string of laser-focused shots and you silently downed the rest of his drink as the guys ponied up, tossing thick folds of cash onto the table and shaking Dean’s hand. You didn’t even feel guilty for hustling them, partly for their ignoring you but mostly for the distraction of Dean’s hands reracking the balls and grabbing your coat, sliding a palm to your lower back with his pinky just barely under your waistband. It was all you could do to wait until you get to the back of the parking lot to shove him up against the Impala and bite his bottom lip almost too hard before slipping your tongue into his mouth.

           You felt the smile and heard the groan at the same time, both pouring into your mouth as you ripped at Dean’s jacket, trying to yank his flannel off his shoulders with it. You abandoned the project to paw at Dean’s tee once you’d gotten the outer layers bunched down around his elbows, kissing him hungry and dark like he was yours to take.

           One of Dean’s bitten off groans trailed off into a barely-there whimper. For all his posturing he loved this, when he could give up being predator and let go for a few minutes to be your prey. He didn’t start fumbling for the door handle until you flicked open his belt, his other hand clutching at a handful of hair at the back of your neck and kissing down your jugular fast and hard. Imagining the way Sam was going to roll his eyes at the hickeys only added adrenaline while Dean finally got the backseat door open, sliding you in and unfurling on top of you. Still working on his jeans, you dragged him tight between your legs.

           “You are—so—mean,” you grinned between kisses. “Teasing me like—that.”

           Dean’s eyebrows kicked up on his forehead, playing dumb like you knew he would. “Me? Never.” His act dropped the moment you finally got his fly open, wrapping your hand around his cock through his boxers and punching all the air out of his lungs. His head rolled back on his neck almost violently, impossibly long eyelashes grazing his cheekbones and lips parted around a breathy “fuck.”

           His switch flipped, Dean scrambled to strip you as fast as possible. You tried to help him in large part to avoid tearing your clothes, ending up crushed into the leather of the bench seat somehow with one leg fully out of your jeans and underwear, the other knee tangled up in the fabric. He’d shoved up your shirt and bra and it would’ve been uncomfortable and tight if any of your senses had been turned to it instead of Dean wetting his middle finger to slip-slide along your clit, murmuring something about “I love it when you do that,” into the side of your neck as he swirled circles into you. After a few moments you were writhing in the seat and Dean pulled that finger back up, sucking you off of it before pushing it up inside you, then another.

           “Fuck me, Jesus Christ Dean,” you moaned against his tongue, yanking him forward until he guided himself into you. The stunted warm-up helped but that first push was always a shock, and whatever sound you made was loud enough that Dean covered your mouth with his hand, grinning conspiratorially down over fingers still steeped in you as he thumped you into the car door.

           “Quiet—someone’s going to hear you.”

           You bit his hand and Dean yelped with a chuckle, pulling it back before you roped around his neck and kissed him lasciviously. “Don’t tell me what to fucking do,” you smirked.

           He stabilized himself against the Impala’s door to pound into you harder, you wrapping your legs around his waist and whisper-moaning filthy nothings into his ear, biting his neck until suddenly you felt that finely honed awareness pique in the back of your mind, flaring hot enough to burn and you froze, thighs clamped tight around Dean.

           “Baby, I—”

           “Don’t fucking move—did you hear that?” you hissed.

           Dean tried to pull back and tensed hard, shuddering into you as you tried to lift your head to see as surreptitiously as possible before the delayed processing hit you. When you looked up at Dean he didn’t meet your eyes, wincing over one shoulder with his arms still planted.

           “Tell me you didn’t,” you whispered.

           He was silent for a half-second, still didn’t meet your eyes. “I tried t—you fucking death-gripped me with your legs, what was I supp—”

           “Oh my god, get off of me,” you yelped, trying your best to sit up and snatch at anything to clean yourself up before realizing it was useless. “FUCK! Fuck, Dean, fuck, what’re we going to—I can’t be—”

           He leaned back into the seat to get back into his jeans and fasten his belt. “One thing at a time, okay? They’ve got like pills and stuff right? We don’t even know if it’ll take.”

           You rolled your eyes angrily at him as you jammed your leg back into your jeans. “Our fucking luck it’s already triplets.” You ran a hand through your hair and took a deep, hard breath. “Okay, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

           “No, I get it.” He slumped into the seat next to you. A long beat passed, you and Dean both sitting stupid, half-dressed in jeans and untied boots, hair all over the place. He cleared his throat. “Wanna head out?” His voice was small and rough; you knew he was sorry and maybe a little embarrassed. If you were more highly evolved you might’ve been able to console him more in that moment, but your heart was bounding through your chest about what was going to happen next—if. You managed to squeeze his hand in solidarity if nothing else before grabbing your stuff and moving to the front seat.

           Minutes of silent road passed before Dean reached over and covered your knee with his hand. You capped it with one of yours and saw his lips twitch up at the corner in response.

           He glanced over at you tentatively. “Maybe it uh, wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, you know?”

           Your incredulity spun you around in your seat so you were fully squared to him. “What?”

           It was dark in the car but you thought maybe Dean’s cheeks started to look pink. “I don’t know, teaching a little squirt how to play catch or whatever, might be cute.”

           “You cannot be serious.”

           His eyes flicked back over to you and his lips pursed out, trying to look non-plussed. “Whatever. Just trying to make you feel better.”

           “No, you’re not. Because that exact possibility is scaring the shit out of me right now and two minutes ago you were trying to convince me we were going to pill this away. So it’s—is that something you want? Having a kid someday?”

           Dean took his hand back under the guise of using two hands to turn the steering wheel.  “No.”

           You waited, willed your own heartbeat to slow down. As you knew he would, Dean kept talking, keeping his eyes on the road more to avoid the vulnerability of looking in your eyes rather than out of necessity on the long, straight stretch of road. “I don’t know. It really seems that bad to you? Having something that’s really, like, ours? Just you and me?”

           “We’re not talking about a something, Dean, we’re talking about a fucking kid.”

           “Jesus, fine, forget it. Sorry I asked.”

           His knuckles went white on the steering wheel and underlined that Dean Was Done Talking. What an absolute waste of a fun little night out, leaving Sam to have a couple hours alone. Now instead of getting back looser to a well-rested Sam, you were going to barrel into this crappy motel terrified with a pissed off Dean, dropping it all at the younger Winchester’s feet to deal with (again).

           It took you until the motel parking lot to muster up the courage to touch Dean’s wrist. “Can we talk for a second?” Dean pretended to be annoyed but you could tell it was an act shielding a spot of tenderness. He flopped his hands in his lap and looked over at you expectantly. “Maybe it’s dumb to even talk about this; like you said, it might be nothing. But I just—I mean if—do you really want that? What would that even look like? Not even with me or whatever obviously but leaving hunting, leaving Sam—”

           “Leaving Sam? Who said anything about leaving Sam?”

           “You volunteering him as nanny?”

           Dean sort of half-rolled his eyes and shifted to face you. “You know as well as I do that Sam doesn’t want to be doing this, not forever. I’m not saying we should be fucking trying, obviously, I’m just—I’m going to stick around no matter what happens. I wouldn’t ditch you with my mistake.”

           You scoffed. “How noble.”

           “Not like that. But I’m not a complete moron, I know we’ve played with fire a couple times and I know what I’m doing.”

           “I guess I just figured that was heat of the moment stuff.”

           A flash of something passed over his face, gone almost too fast for you to decipher. Offense? Sadness? “Yeah, part of it. But you—you’ve never even thought about it?”

           “Thought about how I’d get a couple hundred dollars and find a clinic, yeah. I—we can’t be hunters with a baby. And I won’t be stashed in some safe house somewhere, see you and Sam for a day or two every couple months, be the loner single mom who can’t tell anyone anything about her life.”

           “Single mom? I’m not a fucking deadbeat. I just said I wouldn’t make you deal alone.”

           You shot him an exasperated look and took a deliberate breath to keep from rising to the bait. “So what, now you want to get married? Dean, I’m not even really your damn girlfriend.”

           He reached for the handle fast enough that you had to scramble across the seat after him, Dean pausing in the open door. “Look, if it’s not what you want, that’s fucking fine. But don’t patronize me. Not my fucking girlfriend? Fuck you.”

           You flew across the Impala and out of the passenger door, following Dean as he stormed across the asphalt. “Fuck me? How are you mad at me?”

           He spun on his heel in the parking lot. “I tell you I’m willing to leave all of this—all of everything I really know, fucked up as that is—for you, would make you my whole future and you, you—your response is that you’re not even my girlfriend? Yeah, fuck you.”

           “Dean, that’s not what I—” but he had already started storming back to the room. “DEAN!” you yelled, standing stock still in the middle of the lot. He paused with his back to you for what felt like a long second before turning back around. “I don’t want to bring this back to Sam. I’m sorry, okay? I’m just—I’m scared shitless about something that might not even happen and then you spring the idea of some shotgun wedding on me—”

           He rolled his eyes without even a hair of humor, the muscles in his jaw tensing hard enough to catch the cold overhead light. “See, how can you—” he started, before taking a deep, deliberate breath and starting over in a tone that was forced calm. “That’s everything I ha—that’s all I can give you, is loving you and fucking being there for you. So if it’s that fucking cheap or skanky to you then I’m sorry for wasting your fucking time.” When you didn’t respond his spine straightened a few degrees. “What? Say something. Tell me how stupid I am for suggesting that being tied together might not ruin your fucking life.”

           You felt that your mouth had fallen open but didn’t care. “You love me?”

           Dean’s face contorted like he was looking at a mirage of something bizarre, curious and disbelieving and frustrated. “I lo—of course I love you, what the fuck?”

           “Y—you’ve never said that to me.”

           “What? Yes I have.” His voice softened a shade, the certainty his anger had afforded him beginning to slip away like sand at high tide, but his eyebrows stayed indignant.

           You’d never been more certain of anything in your life, that Dean had never said that, because it was something you wanted constantly. Craved, even. Were kept awake at night by; the desire to have your feelings for Dean reciprocated too intense even to dream about. So you justified and bargained with yourself: if fooling around and this kind of casual commitment—girl who would cover him and Sam in a firefight and didn’t hound him for a label—was what he wanted, it was what you would give. Anything for more time with him or the chance to kiss those lips, to see the way he looked first thing in the morning, to get annoyed at his bullshit idiosyncrasies.            

           “No, you haven’t.” So many more words tried to burst forward from you that you had to bite your lip to be sure your mouth stayed closed.

           Dean held your eyes, willing you to say something until he lost his patience. “Who says that stupid shit all the time anyway? You know I love you; I’d do fucking anything for you.” His voice had started to rise again but the heat behind it was some sort of hungry desperation, not hurt rage. “I’m—you don’t think I love you?”

           You started to feel completely exposed by the industrial light, seared alive by green eyes. Shifting your weight from foot to foot didn’t help, and you fought angrily against the lump forming in your throat.

           He looked over his shoulder and the barked “FUCK!” startled you despite yourself. “Kid, I—FUCK, that’s what this is? I loved you since that first fucking hunt in Cleveland! You really think I’m just…? This isn’t some Beaver Cleaver ‘I put you in a family way’ bullshit, I—I don’t know, I just, with you it feels like for the first time maybe it’s not insane to think that I could—that we could—whatever, man, I’m not fucking talking about this.” A hand shot up to rub the back of his neck, a nervous tic you recognized immediately.

           You took two big steps toward him. “Dean, I just—I didn’t know. That’s—I mean I’m not going to say I’ve been thinking about it; but it—it’s more because I didn’t even think it was on the table, you know? I thought we were, I don’t know, really close friends that sleep together.”

           Dean’s eyebrows flew up his forehead and he blew an almost-laugh out of his nose. “I don’t even know what to say to that. Never heard of any friends that live together and fuck raw.” His tongue slid along his molars and he sucked his teeth looking down at the ground, flicker of a despondent, self-deprecating smile twitching his lips. “Uh, noted, I guess. Sorry I misunderstoo—” and his eyes on the blacktop prevented him from seeing you cross the few strides between you, catching him off guard when you kissed him hard enough to bruise, hard enough to feel everything you wanted to say, wanted to scream (at him, from the rooftops, ohmygodhelovesme) take a backseat for a moment. He grunted at the impact, stunned for a half-beat before surging forward into you, wrapping into your hair and pawing at your hips with desperate effort to get closer. Feeling the grin against your mouth, you wished you weren’t standing in the absolute middle of the parking lot, frenzy to have something to push each other against building to a fever pitch inside you when Dean tugged your hair back to look at your face.

           He looked downright pornographic; swollen, flushed pout and impossible lashes framing bedroom eyes Marilyn or Sophia would’ve envied. A washing of cockiness only amplified the effect, those pillowy lips pulling into a lazy smirk. “So is this a really-close-friends kiss or what? Trying to figure out how much tongue I’m supposed to slip you.”

           You giggled good-naturedly, letting the weight of your head press into his palm. “You are such an asshole.”

           “Yeah, you fuckin’ love it.” He sucked on that sweet pulse spot under your ear deeply, some accessory movement with his tongue enough to make you see stars and miss that it was you letting out that ungraceful whine-moan. When Dean spoke the air passing over your spit-slick neck exploded in goosebumps. “And I love you.”

           Dean kissed you in that searching, delicious, eat-you-alive way he sometimes did after a particularly victorious hunt when he either had all the time in the world or didn’t give a fuck about making it; soothing-probing with a little edge of danger that hypnotized you. It pulled at the sweater of your being and tugged, steady and cloying until you were something loose and ephemerous in Dean’s hands, something equally likely to float away or explode right there in that parking lot, clearing a hundred miles in every direction and leaving behind only the imprint of your craving for him. It’s a miracle your brain was able to function at all. In the best circumstances this flayed you open and coming on the heels of having the most beautiful gift you could imagine dropped at your feet—Dean loves you, he loves you and always has—it felt like it could stop your heart and you wouldn’t care.

           “I need about twenty minutes in a cold shower or I promise I’ll knock you up right the fuck here,” Dean growled, low with sin directly into your ear.

           You laughed breathily. “I thought you said that might be a good thing.”

           His chuckle was rough as he pressed his lips to the crown of your head. He rested there for a moment before murmuring into your hair. “You really thought we were just messing around?”

           “Dean, come on, I—don’t make me say it.”

           “Say what?”

           You swallowed shakily, tried to get a handle on your thoughts through the endorphins. “You—I—I’ve had it bad for you, thought if I really like, acknowledged it that it might fuck up what I did get to have of you or that some commitment would freak you out or whatever so I just—I don’t know, tried to be cool about it. Obviously we’ve always been kind of ‘don’t ask don’t tell’ when we were apart—”

           Dean cut off your rambling. “Uh, has there been something you’ve been ‘don’t tell’-ing? I wasn’t ‘don’t ask don’t tell’-ing.”

           “You haven’t?” you asked, surprised enough to be knocked off your nebulous trail of thought.

           “No, I mean—no. You would’ve been fine with that?” The disbelief was so clear on his face it was practically casting a glow around him.

           “Not fine with it—of course not—the thought of it kept me up nights, but I didn’t you to think I was some jealous freak.”

           A smile spread over his face slowly, butter on hot toast. “So you would’ve been jealous?”

           “I was jealous, I thought that’s what was happening.”

           Dean’s head lolled back on his neck a few degrees, smirk cementing itself in place. “That’s kinda hot.”

           It took the tension out of the moment and you chuckled under your breath, glancing down at your feet. “Yeah, you would say that right now, psycho.” It was breathy and shaky but Dean let you have it, throwing his elbow around your neck affectionately and tucking you into his side. With a kiss to the crown of your head, he started you both walking to the room lazily. At the door, you stilled him as he reached for the knob.

           “Would you really want to keep it? Like, no bullshit, if that’s the situation, that I’m actually—you know, you wouldn’t want me to…?”

           He licked his lips and bit the bottom one. They parted for a moment before he began to speak as his gaze flicked between your eyes. “Babe,” he finally breathed, and there was a note of croak there. “I’m in this for the long haul. If that’s where we’re going then we’ll deal with it. If you don’t—if you’re not there, I get it, but for me, I—yeah. If it’s going to be anyone for me, it’s you.”

           “Even now?”

           “I could think of worse things. Worse things have happened to me this week, probably.”

           There were so many follow up questions running through your mind, so many rock-solid certainties that Dean wouldn’t really be able to quit hunting, that even figuring out how to go to an OB-gyn on fake IDs was likely to be more complicated than either of you realized, but his lack of hesitation was so sweet, so earnest, and you were still riding that he loves me high. And you might’ve gotten lucky; it might be nothing, no parking lot baby to contend with, just a tense reminder to be more careful next time. It was easier than you might’ve thought to give yourself permission to relish it for the night, consequences be damned.  

-

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