#Scum VIllain

[soursoppi]

Bingy Shark... an apex predator perfectly capable of hunting for himself... also a baby fish who needs to be handfed tiny shrimps by PinguYuan daily or he'll die from starvation.

[feralbrainrotter]

[whos-the-seme]

okay but I kinda need read a fic where Shen Yuan is wife plotted (AGAIN) by some random papapa plant (dammit Airplane--) and he basically falls into a floating coma or something. on a hunt for some rare herbs with liu qingge, he's lured by the sound of his Binghe's (his lost little lamb) voice and ends up ensnared.

okay, imagine that he's being held high in the air by these vines, just asleep, and nothing can wake him, even after liu qingge cuts the monster plant down to get him. he's just sleeping, rosy-cheeked, unwakeable.

peak lords panic, and start trying to figure it out what this rare plant is. sqh wracks his brain somewhat and somewhat remembers this plot line.

they come to the conclusion that its the everlasting dreams flower or some shit. basically traps the victim in their dreams while it sucks out their qi until the person dies of dehydration/starvation or qi loss, whichever kills them first (sometimes, its not the latter, and if the person is a cultivator, they can last a while before their qi is fully drained enough that they can no longer practice inedia but also haven't died yet). meanwhile, the person won't even care because their dreams are so sweet, that they don't want to leave.

the only way to cure it? true love's song. someone who truly knows and loves the sleeper needs to sing something from the heart, and if it's pure enough or something, it can pierce through the pleasant dreams of the person and wake them up. yqy and lqg instantly become flustered, but both of them can't help but secretly wonder how it would feel to have Xiao jiu/shen-shixiong wake up at their song.

they confer with the rest of the peak lords a little outside of shen yuan's resting rooms on the Qian Cao peak, and yqy decides to sing a little lullaby he used to sing to Xiao jiu when they were still on the streets. he goes in, his voice is a steady but a bit nervous, but he croons that shit out. airplane can't believe his fucking ears. yqy could honestly be an idol its not fair wtf-- only, sqh knows he can't dance to save his fucking life, so.

when yqy finishes, he waits, but his heart sinks when Xiao jiu doesn't so much as stir. he hurries out of the room but sqh notices how the tips of his ears are red in embarrassment. of course, even when he still had his memory, Xiao jiu wanted nothing to do with him, why did he think it would change now, he just--

lqj goes in next. he murmurs a song that he constantly hears sqq sometimes strumming on his guqin, thinking that means sqq must love the song. he's not sure what else he can do, he doesn't know how to sing from the heart, but the feelings he has for his shixiong... he has to at least try to wake him.

he doesn't wake. lqj walks out in defeat.

airplane who has been wracking his brain all this time because he was trying to think of requirements for awakening so he wasn't paying attention suddenly jumps up. he doesn't mind the startled glances that the other peak lords give him.

he just remembered!

the song didn't have to be a romantic song or anything. the love for the sleeper didn't have to be romantic love, at all! he remembered this plot line that he added about binghe trying to wake one of his wives, but it was one of the wives' sisters that woke her, because she truly loved her sister deeply. causing binghe to realize that his love was becoming shallow, in that it wasn't enough anymore or blah blah blah. he scrapped that plot line and that plant after he got a ton of bad reviews for even suggestion that lbh's love (pillar) wasn't big enough and so he had lbh fix it with papapa, but whatever!

he shivered.

anyway, the story has been so warped over time that its only told that it has to be a romantic lover. but it didn't have to be.

he had an idea. he loved Shen Yuan! despite the rocky start, their shared transmigration and experiences led them to form a closer relationship, and Shen Yuan was his best friend. he knew him wholly, both in his bitchiness of Cucumber-bro of their old lives, and in the snarky-masquerading-as-pretentious SQQ he was in their new lives. He knew him as a whole of Shen Yuan, not as Xiao Jiu, or as the original goods.

and also, both he and Shen Yuan had discovered they both liked some similar songs during one of their weekly private meetings a few weeks ago, while Shen Yuan was there under the guise of planning their eventual escapes, but was actually just drinking up all his wine and ransacking his snacks.

he's got this! (he hopes.) (he would quite not like his bro to die from an unwakeable coma.)

confidently, with incredulous stares following him, he walks into the room and sits at shen yuan's bedside. and proceeded to sing, as smoothly as he could, a vocaloid love song. if nothing else, it might shock Shen Yuan awake to hear a random ass vocaloid song in his dreams. the lyrics are actually pretty sweet and soft, but he can't stop imagining the music behind it, making it funnier than it should be to sing it.

[Shen Yuan, whose dreamscape has become completely synchronized to his current living conditions and so he dreams of the serene bamboo hut: *sitting at his table with binghe pouring him more tea* *sudden hatsune fucking miku disturbing the atmosphere*

Shen Yuan: 👁️👄👁️]

while he tries not to giggle as the song comes to an end, the stares of the other peak lords boring into his back from the doorway (he can just hear them thinking, "yqy and lqg couldn't wake him up but you think you can?" but maybe that's just his imagination. or maybe they think the song is shitty, what does he know--), shen yuan's eyes flutter open.

airplane, who didn't think this would actually actually work (though he hoped), gapes at him. Shen Yuan, eyes half lidded from sleep, gazes back.

"uh..."

"The everlasting dreams flower, really? That was a really good plot line, can't believe you, ah," Shen Yuan yawns, "dropped it in favor of more papapa as always, you shitty author." He can't catch a break. Why did he wake this guy up again?

"he's awake!?" multiple voices cry out.

THUMP. yqy has fainted.

they both have forgotten their audience. liu qingge has goes outside to punch a tree. the other peak lords are in various states of disarray, disbelief, and discomfort. liu minyan has appeared out of nowhere to take notes. mu qingfāng rolls his eyes and comes in to check shen-shenanigans's meridians.

"Can't believed that shit worked, honestly," Shen Yuan says, eyeing one of the older disciples try to drag YQY to a cot. he is starting to rouse. "hatsune miku, really?"

"aw! well now you know how deeply and purely I love you, shixiong!"

THUMP. YQY has fainted again.

more sounds of breaking trees from outside. mu qingfāng warily calls out a warning to avoid his good medicinal trees, thanks.

after a while of conversation, with eyes closing a bit once more, from exhaustion, rather than the plant poison, Shen Yuan gives Shang Qinghua a small smile. As his eyes flutter shut again, he says, "I love you too, bro."

[sunderwight]

Shen Yuan, polishing off the last jar of wine: you see, because I'm a straight man, obviously I will be straight no matter what. But imagine if I got transformed into a woman? Then I'd become a straight woman! This means I would have to have sex with men, of course. The alternative would actually be the gayer option, if you really think about it.

Shang Qinghua, scribbling down notes: yeah no totally. And this straight woman version of you, how many men do you think she would have to have sex with...?

[red-garden]

Shen Jiu would be so weird about porn actually. Obviously he wouldn’t consume anything with women because he doesn’t want to degrade them, and he wouldn’t consume anything with with men because that’s disgusting, and he wouldn’t consume anything with people because he can’t conceive of lust as anything other than inherently violent and destructive. He wouldn’t even jack off because then he would be no better than the other sex obsessed, lust-addled men around him.

Of course he’s a radical supporter of sex workers, but only the women, and he wouldn’t care if women were jacking it this way and that. But if he sees a man pop a boner even on accident in the throes of puberty, that is actually inherently wrong and you are immoral if you do that.

[tommymi]

the love day!!

[vebirascanvas]

Moshangtian commission based on that picture for @heosic24

We had a convo in the moshangevents discord about how great TLJ/SQH with a side of SQH/MBJ is, and then things just escalated 🤷 what can I say, I'm always down for a good threesome poly ship

[rhiangalaxy]

For doodles:

Shen Qingqiu carried away from Luo Binghe in the Princess Peach way (ie Bowser “your princess is in another tower”)

TLJ thinks it's bonding <3 Thanks for the request! :>

[ID: A Scum Villain Doodle. The top depicts Luo Binghe tightly holding a note in his hands with a dark angry expression. An arrow pointing to the note leads to a caption saying "Sorry Son! Your Shizun is in another palace" With a small doodle of Tianlang-Jun winking with a peace sign. The bottom part has Shen Qingqiu being bridal carried by Zhuzhi Lang with an unimpressed expression saying "Did you read another one of those novels again?" ZZL has a flustered apologetic expression as he says "Apologies Master Shen" Whilst TLJ off-screen (represented by a tinier smug :3 faced doodle) replies to SQQ by saying "Maybe so." End ID]

[shrimpchipsss]

valentine's binghe waiting for her HOT DATE 💝

[c-orion-o]

My piece for @svsssbigbang!

Inspired by Ehann's amazing work: How to Grow a Family.

Go read it, I swear it's good (〃＾▽＾〃)

[melpackets]

Moshang

[space-atrium]

The Grand Unified Theory of Shěn Qīngqiū: Qi Refining chapter 392

[whos-the-seme]

very sleep deprived but what if: "I dunno, I'm just saying--" sqh wiggles his eyebrows at him.

"stop saying. immediately." to punctuate his words, sqq goes for his true and tried technique: throwing a fan at sqh's forehead with deadly accuracy. it strikes true before the other could dodge and the other lets out a hiss of pain, but stops talking with a small whine of "bro--" and a pout.

a few minutes later, when sqh is still sending him shiny wide eyes and exaggeratedly rubbing at his forehead, sqq sighs. without thinking, he leans over to smack a giant wet kiss on the slightly reddened spot, pushing a bit of spiritual energy into it. he dismisses down the intense urge he has to bite and make it worse. the mark disappears.

"there, I healed it. fucking happy?"

"very happy, thank you very much"

sqh looks at him from underneath his eyelashes, a teasing smirk growing on his face at getting sqq to capitulate, and sqq rolls his eyes, bc sqh honestly could've and should've done it himself, what does he look like, a fucking healer?? he already has to deal with without a cure and sure the amount of energy needed to heal a small knock on the head was so minuscule that it wouldn't affect him even on a bad day, but like???

he's been giving in more and more these days but its not his fault that the airplane was so convincing when he started to act fucking pathetic and just made sqq feel bad for him a little.

(and okay, he likes how vicious, apathetic, hyper competent a-hua can sometimes just be so cute and needy--)

someone cleared their throat.

sqq instantly freezes. he carefully does not notice from the corner of his eyes how sqh has also gone rigid.

in eerie and stiff unison, they both turned their heads to face the rest of the room. the very full room. the very full room of other peak lords. the very full room of other peak lords because they were currently at the monthly peak lord meeting.

the very full room of other peak lords that were staring at him and sqh because they just witnessed him plant a kiss on sqh's forehead.

the silence stretched.

damnit, airplane.

[sunderwight]

Shen Qingqiu gets hit by a rare wife plot.

And it actually is a rare one because Airplane didn't even write this one down! He toyed with the idea before ultimately dismissing it as being too controversial for the tastes of his readers, and adapting only a few of the same elements for a subsequent chapter of PIDW.

But apparently the System can pull inspiration even from the author's thoughts, especially when there's nothing to contradict the concept and even a few threads of it still to be found in the original, and somehow Shen Qingqiu runs afoul of this previously-unwritten plot bunny.

The core concept was a cuck scenario, of all things. One of the Luo Binghe's wives gets afflicted by a poison that can only be cured by dual cultivation, but specifically can't be cured by by dual cultivation with anyone who has mastery over demonic qi. Something something conflicting energies, something bullshit something. Peerless Cucumber would have ripped the chapter to shreds if it had actually made it to publication, not just for the insult of implying that Luo Binghe should let one of his wives sleep with someone else, but also because why would Luo Binghe -- able to use both kinds of cultivation -- somehow not be able to keep his demonic energies from influencing the situation just in this one case?

Well it turns out that in his specific case it's because sex gets him too worked up to keep things strictly separate, and the degree of control required to treat the affliction whilst dual cultivating is extensive enough that even a little slip-up would be fatal.

Of course, in the actual chapter of PIDW, this same plot device was altered and used to create a harem orgy where Luo Binghe oversaw several of his wives "treating" one another's "afflictions", but Shen Qingqiu just had to go and get a fatal of dose of the more severe version (he didn't realize the risk, because again, this version didn't even make it into the novel).

Anyway, of course this ends up with Shen Qingqiu trying to figure out another way to cheat death, while Luo Binghe goes through the five stages of grief before accepting that he's just going to have to let someone else fuck his husband. This leads to an argument because of course Shen Qingqiu's not going to cheat on Luo Binghe, and he's especially not going to force one of his martial siblings to sleep with him, come on now, and Luo Binghe trying not to cry tears of blood while bringing himself to explain that a fair few of Shen Qingqiu's sect siblings would be happy volunteers for this task.

Shen Qingqiu's just like, well of course you think that, for some bizarre reason you think everyone wants to sleep with me. Bias is what it is. Really it's flattering Binghe but obviously every other person we know is straight, that's just statistics, and everyone in the entire cultivation world knows that Qi Qingqi would sooner chew glass than have sex with a man!

Luo Binghe, weeping now: Shizun please. This is serious. I need you speak words that make sense in the order you're saying them.

They argue, they reach an impasse, the clock is ticking. So Luo Binghe reluctantly turns to the most reliable source of information (outside of himself) on Manipulating Shen Qingqiu to Do Things That Are in His Own Best Interests -- Shang Qinghua.

At first Shang Qinghua is like, well I'm flattered Junshang but I don't think I could shoulder the baggage of fucking Cucumber-bro for you. But then Luo Binghe is like no I need someone who is way hotter and more capable than you, if Shizun is going to fuck someone else at my behest they're going to be TOP TIER so that when I fuck him better afterwards he's really impressed with me. Liu Qingge, obviously.

Not Yue Qingyuan, Shang Qinghua asks? (He'd take the insult a little more personally but honestly he's just relieved that he's not being asked to navigate this social minefield.)

No, Luo Binghe says. He's not 100% sure he could beat Yue Qingyuan in a fight even to this day, which in his mind also translates to not being 100% sure he could do sex better than him either, so Yue Qingyuan is an emergency last resort. He's way more likely to cry on Shizun too and Shen Qingqiu is into that shit, it's too risky.

Alright, says Shang Qinghua, and he thinks about it, and then he comes up with the beautifully simple solution:

Luo Binghe has to fuck Liu Qingge first.

Because of course the crux of the issue is that even with permission, Shen Qingqiu doesn't want to cheat on Luo Binghe. But in the twisted annals of his mind, Luo Binghe himself is still entitled to a harem, even if Luo Binghe is also happily monogamous in this life. So if he shacks up with Liu Qingge first then Liu Qingge essentially joins Luo Binghe's harem, at which point if Shen Qingqiu sleeps with him it's not an affair, it's the gay version of those fanservice-y 3P scenes that the wives in PIDW did. Shang Qinghua translates the concept as best as he can to Luo Binghe, who -- though slightly dubious -- must accept that so far Shang Qinghua's wisdom hasn't steered him wrong with regards to his shizun's eccentricities.

Luo Binghe's mission: seduce Liu Qingge, or at least convince him to have sex, or possibly to lie and (convincingly!) tell Shen Qingqiu that they had sex. That last one is the longest shot so he's probably going to have to just fuck him (Luo Binghe still underestimates how willing his husband is to believe that just about anyone would have sex with him).

Shang Qinghua's mission: convince Shen Qingqiu that he owes his husband steamy threeway gay sex or something so that this plan he pulled out of his ass doesn't backfire and get him killed.

[fwol-jintu]

Welp, tis the season of love (fuck i almost said lore) and care, and so i present you;

Valentines doesn't exist in PIDW, sqh never really wrote it in. It was convenient, since that meant his day didn't change to be heavier.

Sy seems to remember though, the day that is. Valentines reminded them of what world they lost, and what they gained in the end. They both hardly remember what the days in the old world was like anymore.

Perhaps as a tribute to their unbelonging existences in this world, they spend time together instead of being with their husbands. The reminder tires them, and knowing that they didnt need to keep up a face around the other brought a sense of comfort.

They spent their valentines together, drinking and chatting and eating. Just them two, secluded from the world. Let them have their peace, they've been through too many things already.

And then theres lbh in the background biting his nails and wondering why shizun is spending all day with that rat and even clearing his schedule just to be with him for as long as possible

Mobei jun in the background shaking up and thoughts swirling because he hasnt seen sqh all day only to see him smiling with the qing jing peak lord, a smile he doesnt recognize.

Erm, so anyways-