#Scratch and earn
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Genuinely I really do love all the post canon stuff concerning Garak and the castellanship and how that particular path of growth impacts his character and is colored by his past. However, to me in my heart, he went on to live a soft and quiet life with his devoted husband Julian Bashir in their cozy shed tending to his orchids and only tangentially involved with politics. And nothing bad ever happened to either one of them ever again.
#thats the real post canon. to me#they deserve a soft epilogue god damn it! theyve earned it! theyve suffered enough and have enough childhood and postwar trauma to work out#to last a lifetime. let them at least have a soft place to do it. as a chronic hurt conf enjoyer nothing scratches that inch in me more tha#working through bad memories while afforded the comfort of leaning on the person you love. nothing says devotion louder to me.#let them have that!!#elim garak#julian bashir#ds9#garashir#regnarposting
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the imagery of no health regen…… wounded skin that doesn’t heal…. torn clothes….. burns…. scorch marks….. bite marks….. blood everywhere…… unraveling bandages…… oh…….
#secret life#secret life smp#if i ever write a slsmp fic. everyone is going to be wounded as FUCK#like. i love it when fan artists draw the characters punctured with arrows#or burned after dying to lava/fire#and now with no health regen. how the injuries don’t go away#a worn and ragged green life almost desperate to turn yellow#if not for the full set of health again#stab wounds that don’t close. a heart bleeds until you die. the scratch marks itch under the armour#ohhhhhh it’s so sexy#teammates changing each others bandages bc the blood never stops#infected wounds? that only ease when more hearts are earned from the secret keeper?#i’m so obsessed with this already#like yessssss the player gets weaker and weaker as they lose more hearts#they are so damaged and injured they can barely raise their shield#their whole body aching. scathing with every hit and blow#and then when they gain hearts. and the RELIEF#of scorch marks fading. wounds closing. blood drying. pains easing. broken bones set themselves#so much cruelty in the world. everyone takes that extra little care with each other#no more friendly slaps on the shoulder or even high fives#everyone is just very still. too fatigued to do anything but survive
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I just finished my monthly Cassandra Clare re-read, this time being Ghosts of the Shadow Market, and I have come to a great conclusion.
By the start of The Wicked Powers, Kit will have spent about three years learning to live with Church, our resident grumpy old man. And I can't help but believe that this will result in him being so used to cranky animals that when he meets Irene for the first time, he'll be able to get immediately on her good side. Which of course, will be like a shot through Ty's heart.
#my sister also made the wonderful point of Church potentially falling in love with Ty at first sight#and Kit just being exasperated because HE had to earn that affection through months of being a scratching post#ghosts of the shadow market#gosm#cassandra clare#the shadowhunter chronicles#tsc#the dark artifices#tda#kit rook#kit herondale#ty blackthorn#the wicked powers#twp
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Right before 2020 went to hell in the ways we all remember so well I was on a huge apocalypse reading binge (lol). Most of the books I ended up really disliking* but there’s a trilogy by William Forstchen that I’m actually rereading right now, it starts with One Second After. Premise: an EMP devastates the infrastructure of the United States and a small North Carolina town has to fend for itself, facing disease, starvation, and ruthless invaders.
Like most SHTF books I’ve encountered this is resoundingly not high quality literature, but it is interesting and fairly thoughtful and kind of gripping if you like this sort of story, with some real pathos at times. I remember liking the first one best and the sequels less so, which is typical for me with series and may or may not say more about me than books. Nonetheless today I begin the second book, One Year After. I ought to do other things but, for reasons, here we are.
I particularly like that first book is very human and relationship focused, and not just a survivalist guide and product placement disguised as a narrative.
#my life#book talk#this is riding me over because I want to go watch homestead and cannot. it’s scratching the genre itch#also after I finished battle hymn of the tiger mother I wanted another gripping fast page turner#and the box these books were stored in (because i ran out of shelves) collapsed#as I was moving it and they literally fell into my lap#*I have a huge grudge against The Last Ship#it was so good and then the final catastrophe made no sense#and also the Jesuit really earned his spot in hell#and the ending was a nightmare
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#columbo#season 6#old fashioned murder#columbo is a genius for driving a scrunched up soda can#carefully crafted related choices aside it's so liberating to drive a beater and he knows it#dent? who cares. scratch? who cares. crash? you guessed it#columbo earns the current year equivalent of like 70k a year and is frugal so he could definitely afford a beautiful sparkling ride#he just knows how awesome it is to be able to crash his car and just not give a shit
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destiel hits different when you were raised christian and told there’s a god who loves you unconditionally and is always watching over you but then you figure out thats not true he isn’t real there is no god there is no father in heaven you’re all alone nobody will save you BUT WAIT there is actually a guy who loves you unconditionally and watches over you that part is real
#like the destiel dynamic scratches SUCH a specific itch for me#like its so hard to really put into words the hole left by a god who was never there#but someone can fill that hole#and you don’t have to earn it#ironically for all the teaching that god loves unconditionally it never felt that way#it felt manipulative and that you did in fact have to earn his love#so imagine actually having a love you aren’t guilted into atoning for#anyway…enough religious trauma for this post#destiel#deancas#dean winchester#castiel#supernatural#spn#my posts
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no wonder missy is insane about him. she just mindmeld trauma bonded with him and got confirmation through him that she was right the whole time about the thing that happened to her, AND then they traded life-saving moments. of course she wants her friend back. she needs him to see her again, as clearly as he did in that moment. she needs him to be like her, because among time lords, she is alone, but with the doctor, she isn’t.
#and also he looks like peter capaldi now and she wants to fuck that old man so bad#missy is very. masterlike in her affections. of course she is. but she’s also so so sincere about them too?#its jarring compared to simm!master because you have similar moments right u have like. ‘oh davros is your archenemy now? ill scratch his#eyes out.’ and yeah i could see simm!master saying that same thing same tone. because they are both freaks about the doctor#but this is the same scene where she tells the doctor he’s walking into a deathtrap and when he doesn’t back down. she walks into it with#him. it’s like she made a decision at some point that Of Course They’re On The Same Side Now.#that’s why she offers him the cybermen. that’s why she gives him clara. this is their side and it’s going to be the side that. if the#hybrid shit had come together as expected. would have destroyed gallifrey. and then there would be no time lords. just them. and they would#not be alone because of this.#and the thing is that. again havent started s10 im getting to it. but the thing is that missy decided this was true.#the doctor is not on the same page as her at all.#and that’s why its soooo! okay <3 break my heart forever then <3#the doctor thinks missy has to earn. has to work at. being on his side. and missy thinks she already is and that it’s so so obvious.#u understand?#missy dw#the master#doctor who
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MK: "No way! I may not understand your irrational love of noodles, or working hard, or being angry all the time—but you are always there when I need you, so it's time for me to return the favor! Because Pigsy's Noodles, are noodles worth fighting for!"
(2x04 Sweet'n Sour)
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Subodhi: "Zhu Bajie was a stubborn one too." Pigsy: "Oh! So you think we're the same just cause we're pigs huh, bet you think I'm just a disgusting little monster too." Subodhi: "Zhu Bajie had his vices, however, like all the companions he grew up. He struggled the most, but he worked hard, not unlike yourself. Although he didn't start out this way, in time he became a deeply caring and protective creature, and a powerful ally—one of the best in fact. The heart you have in abundance, the power? Why, you've barely scratched the surface of your potential! And that's saying something."
(4x09 Roast of the Monkie Kids)
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Gettin' emotional over my favorite hard working Pig man.
#Thinking too hard about s2 pigsy rn don't mind me#Like. In 2x03 he definitely does feel he can rely on MK. But by the end of 2x04 he knows he can#So then going from 2x03 ''Classic MK. Goofs off and screws around all day!'' to ''You've earned a break kid'' in 2x07#To then chewing SWK out in 2x10 on behalf of MK#Growth#Also omg in 2x04....is that MK being their for a friend when they need him??? 3x10 and 4x02 anyone#Actually Tang in this ep too. ''Some day I will become someone they can depend on...the way I can always depend on them!''#And here he was being someone Pigsy could depend on#Really I think that's tang's motivation in 2x02 too#What I mean when I say this show is so well thought out#Like. Pigsy was closed off until Subodhi mentioned how he ''works hard'' because that's something Pigsy really values#Could even relate ''the heart you have in abundance. The power? Why you've only scratched the surface!'' to 1x09#''You're hearts in the right place bud! We can work on the rest.''#Like. Don't look at me#Pigsy had a mini Zhu Bajie arc in s1 and the first half of s2 send tweet#*Pulls out conspiracy board* MK Mei Tang and Pigsy are all dynamic characters. They change in distinct ways#Sandy however is very static (with the exception of resolving to fight in s3) and while there is nothing wrong with a static character#I THINK SANDY IS WRITTEN THIS WAY FOR A PLOT REASON. SUBODHI POINTED IT OUT IN 4x09.#AND HERE'S WHY OG SANDY IS CURRENT SANDY-#lmk#lmk parallels#lego monkie kid#lmk Pigsy#hmmmm. s4 dadsy fr fr
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who gave my 6 cats the right to be so endearing
#this is not fair#yes okay you can stand on my face eat my hair and scratch up my arms you've earned it#how did they earn it?#looking in my direction#catblr#cat owner
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when the worst person you know invokes mary olivers name in an attempt to be both poetic and holier than thou
#DISRESPECTFULLY. shut the fuck up.#like youre both arrogant and ignorant. and the poem is bad.#oliver may not have been what YOU consider poverty level by our standards but semi-rural ohio child of a teacher in an dysfunctional home#she was a secretary. a teacher. like. she held jobs while publishing her poetry thats what happens while you write half the time#these artists you see creating bodies of work aren't just in studios producing work theyre also working day jobs#until they reach a point where they are either noteworthy enough to rely on residency or savings/stocks#if you're able to live off of commissions or your art business/freelancing then that is the goal#but most of us are not in that position yet and thus day jobs are required even for the writers/poets/artists you admire#you dont just start from scratch and hit the market and earn enough to live from. the game is rigged. it sucks.
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Tonight my (deceased) cat visited me in my dream. We were cuddling in bed, which we almost never did when she was alive because despite being very much in need of affection, she was in a lot of pain and was very grumpy and aggressive as a result (that never stopped me from crawling to the bottom of the bed and holding her whenever possible)
Anyway she asked me to remove a piece of gunk from her eye, which I did (it was HUGE). She seemed so relieved and so much more calm than when she was alive. I’m glad I could help, I hope she knows she can visit whenever she wants <3
#:)#were rambles#tw pet death#tw dead pet#her name was giulietta and she was the grumpiest and sweetest cat ever#you would definitely earn a few scratches and bites from being near her#but it was a very small price to pay#beautiful angry cat
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burke is a dog and vicki is a dog and roger is a cat. if you care
#the rvb au is so good you guys#it makes vicki and burke’s relationship so distinct because it’s founded on a mutual hungry loyalty#Burke extends kindness out to vicki — offers her food; shelter; a name — and he earns undying loyalty and love and respect#likewise: burke will protect vicki at all costs. in both the sense that he will bare his teeth and hunt and drag the corpse home for her#(or various violations of the law and standard codes of ethics for profit)#but just as or more importantly she will never be lonely. she always has a companion. At her side — or lying at her feet.#and roger. well. would they leave a soggy wet kitten out on the doorstep?#even if he scratches? even if (especially if) he bites?#vicki and burke have the marriage; their promises are iron-clad. the leash is voluntary but they are wearing one.#and they come when they call each other’s name.#roger has no such promises or bone deep loyalty; he stays because he wants to; because they want him to;#because they pet him so nicely — because he purrs so prettily.#because there’s still love when he’s curled up in their laps.#it’s just a different kind.#and the teasing? Conflict? between burke and roger but vicki and roger too#it’s not *not* real fighting … but it’s also not *not* play#➤ roger collins & victoria winters & burke devlin. ┊ to know how it ends‚ and still begin to sing it again.
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looks like i'll need to work on the weekend. big yikes!
#i want this job & i want to do well but also like smmetimes i feel that i'm too immature wrt decision making & productivity (ew)#but also i know my manager trusts me? which is insane. i can Do Tasks but the only real skill i have is graphic design (<- derogatory)#then like our annual p*rform*nce r*view (EW) is coming up in a month so i have a chance to rlly get a good raise this yr#bc last yr's was just. basically unlivable wage. totally disproportionate to my efforts. bc 'the company wasn't earning'. whatever.#but also i stay bc my current manager she's only been here a year but i have so much freedom to create & handle projects from scratch#though yeah it does get so fucking hectic like now. i have Shit To Do. i had 3 weeks to do like 6 weeks worth of work#FUCKED UP & INSANE!! criminal even. but sorry i like my job. i just wish the other routine stuff wouldn't get in the way ughh#(<- woman who attended a meeting that could've been an email & now her project timeline is fucked)
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patron saint of being hot
and a lot of skill and really interesting anecdotes about your life and having professors that give me second hand anxiety bc they seem kinda awful and mean. But mainly just being hot
ty! admittedly my professors are not that bad, ive only had one bad professor that was more incompetent that awful. if you want another anecdote, ill tell you about the only teacher i truly despise to this day (on the tags, cuz its a very dark story)
ask gamerino
#i retook that course with a different professor and passed expectacularly. now for the horrendous teacher#on this story we have vomiting injuries and attempted suicide so watch out#in my last two years of our highschool equivalent i had PE with a teacher that loved to play favorites#if u were on a sport team you were immediately given special treatment and as you might already tell i wasnt. i hate ball sports#i loved exercising but i dreaded PE because of her#i have a condition that made my periods incredibly painful and meself anemic so those weeks were hellish#even though i was a good student she would NEVER let me sit out the navette test. even with a doctors note#i would do my best and then literally go vomit and pass out in the bathroom cuz if i did it on the court i would be berated#that wasnt enough to earn my absolute hatred tho. we now move to the worst day of my life to this day#it was just getting to school from lunch (we could go home and have it there) and i had PE#when i get a text#it was my best friend being cryptic thanking me for being a friend and saying goodbyes#he was going to commit suicide#i absolutely lost my shit as one does and went on a rampage#i couldnt get in contact with anyone (his ex stepdad was abusive and isolated his family) and they didnt let me get out of school#i was desperate and my friends were trying to help me but i didnt know what to do. i called my mom and she called his school and then i just#sat and waited with a friend. while the other classmates did the navette test#the minutes passed. i got message from my bffs number and it was his mom telling me she found him just in time#i broke then. i started sobbing and screaming and scratching my arms and my friend held me and tried to keep me from hurting myself#some other classmates came concerned and tried to help#then the teacher came. she just looked at one of the volleyball girlies who shrugged#she didnt ask if i was ok or if i needed to call someone or go somewhere. she just asked if i planning to do the test#i said no and she left and i kept crying#when i felt stable enough i went to see what had happened and she just failed me. i couldnt give the test any other day and that was that#she simply didnt care#i had to calm myself down while writing this. its no use getting emotional over a teacher that didnt care#but i hate her. she made the worst day of my life worse and she doesnt know and doesnt care#that memory fuels me to never surrender to indifference and make the pain in this world worse#my bff got help he needed after that and our bond is stronger than ever. he never pulled something like that again#thats the story! not gonna tag this babes
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Javert is the submissive and Valjean is the dom but Javert’s the kinda sub to set a strict schedule of things he has to do to please Valjean and if Valjean forgets to check he’s doing it he gets mad. He’s like, “Monsieur, forgive me for impugning on your time but I have been waiting for you to check me post-bath for twenty minutes. I hope you having to spend five seconds checking I’ve groomed myself to your satisfaction isn’t too much of an offense. No, don’t worry, I will wait another twenty minutes, it is not like I am on a strictly set schedule.”
Meanwhile Valjean just wants to dig up his onions in peace
#Javert wants him to be so harsh and strict#Valjean just wants to pet his hair and give him a scratch under the chin#Javert can do almost anything and still be a good boy and it drives him crazy#he wants to earn it!#valvert
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