#working through bad memories while afforded the comfort of leaning on the person you love. nothing says devotion louder to me. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

kumzume · 4 years ago

Text

glam ft. todoroki shotō [smhub]

wc. 2.8k :3

warnings. ownership, soft-ish!dom reader, edging, v v lowkey pet play (u call him bunny lol), quiet whiny shoto, begging, miss k*nk (?), slight humiliation k*nk, crying, um

an. SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG HOLY S WORD I HOPE ITS OK I DIDNT GET ANYONE TO BETA IT SO IF THERE ARE ISSUES M SO SORRY LOVE YALL TY FOR WAITING

▼・ᴥ・▼

shoto todoroki was so pretty.

it wasn’t like he wasn’t aware — he’d heard the whispers amongst the girls back at U.A. about how attractive he was. that didn’t keep him from believing those words, his insecurities gripping him so tightly that he was unable to even imagine that anyone found him remotely appealing.

that is, until he met you.

when you first transferred into 3-A, the class was thrown into an uproar. you were beautiful, kind, and funny with a powerful quirk to boot! and yet, you never believed that you were better than anyone else, always treating every single person with respect — even bakugou (shoto couldn’t even pretend to understand how you did it but still, the behavior was so undeniably you).

it was all of your remarkable traits that ended up being shoto’s downfall. he believed you were way out of his league — you deserved someone emotionally available and sweet, things that todoroki felt, no knew, he was not. besides, with every single guy in the nearest vicinity falling for you, he knew he didn’t even have a chance.

so, shoto resigned himself to observe you from afar, watching your interactions with his closest friends and classmates, wishing that he could make you smile as wide as kirishima and deku or laugh as hard as sero and denki.

he knew he didn’t measure up and while he tried to make himself okay with that, he felt jealousy bubbling up beneath his skin when he observed shinsou helping you with your homework or bakugou training with you after school.

of course, he realized he didn’t belong to you or you to him and he had no real reason to be envious of whoever you chose to spend your time with but that didn’t stop him from fucking his hand late at night at the thought of you hovering over him, pressing soft kisses to his mangled scar and calling him beautiful.

shoto came embarrassingly quick with that fantasy, the shame and disappointment overwhelming him to the point where he’d purposefully ignored you for days after.

he could tell you were hurt by his behavior — he wasn’t entirely oblivious — but he knew it was for the best. you deserved so much more than him.

the both of you graduated and moved on to your respective agencies, shoto swiftly making his way up to the number 2 spot while you sat comfortably at number 17. neither of you saw each other very often but when you did, conversation was stilted and a bit awkward due to the intense attraction and inability to act on it on shoto’s part.

shoto was willing to go the rest of his life like this; seeing you briefly in passing, stumbling through a discussion with much difficulty, and then returning to his penthouse to hump his pillow and cry out your name.

it was a pretty good system for the most part. shoto had no worries about ever having to face his feelings for you and was content to live out his days suppressing his inner turmoil just for you.

unfortunately, the universe hates him.

at least that’s what he told himself as he stood in the center of a boardroom next to you, clad in your hero outfits and listening to instructions on an upcoming mission that required you and shoto to work together. alone. for days at a time.

what the fuck.

to be honest, shoto completely tuned out the minute he heard “one bedroom,” his mind racing with all the horribly tempting ways his fantasies could play out.

by the time the meeting was over, he was hard in his pants and entirely distracted as you attempted to make friendly small talk about your mission. shoto sort of felt like he should apologize for being an absolute brick wall, giving you curt one word answers until you decided to leave him alone.

he felt bad but what else could he do when you stood there, wearing your obscene hero costume that revealed way too much of your skin?

well, shoto was being a little dramatic but that’s how he felt! your suit was a play on the playboy bunny costume but instead of being black leather (he thinks he would actually die if you wore leather in front of him), it was a white, lightweight fabric that helped with your quirk.

it was entirely too sexy and reminded him a little too much of one of his secret kinks that he was determined to never let see the light of day.

it was going to be ok! he reasoned. all he had to do was do his job, ignore you like he’s done for the past 3 years and everything would be just fine — right?

wrong. so fucking wrong.

the mission had gone well on all accounts. you both had kicked ass, much to your enjoyment, and were able to go back home a day early!

you were so excited to finally be back in your own bed and away from the weird tension that being around todoroki brought. it wasn’t that you didn’t like him — in fact it was quite the opposite.

you found shoto alluring and gorgeous, his awkward yet endearing mannerisms drawing you further into the mystery that was shoto todoroki. regrettably, it didn’t seem like the man in question was on the same page.

every time you tried to speak with him, he would either stutter and blush or refuse to look you in the eye and give you one-word answers. it was actually ridiculously cute but he would always disappear the first chance he got.

it hurt but you weren’t one to push boundaries where you weren’t wanted.

that’s why that night, instead of going back up to the room to watch tv (uncomfortably, might i add) and knocking yourself out, you decided to go down to the bar and celebrate a job well done.

one of the perks of being a relatively unknown hero was that you could enjoy a night in public without anyone approaching you, a luxury you knew not many top 20 heroes could afford.

with that thought — and the memory of the stifling hotel room awaiting you upstairs — in mind, you made your way to the sparsely populated bar, sitting down and immediately requesting a drink (bourbon, on the rocks).

you scanned the area, counting the number of exits and patrons before your eyes landed on the handsome bartender down at the other end of the counter.

with curly brown hair, bright green eyes and a smile that could kill, there was no way you could lie to yourself and say he was unattractive. even as your mind briefly entertained the notion of taking the brunette out into the alley and fucking him within an inch of his life, your heart just wasn’t in it.

your mind just couldn’t stop drifting to the tall, dual-haired, oh so pretty, man who was (inadvertently) waiting for you upstairs. of course, you weren’t even his to wait for but you didn’t know how to keep from imagining that he was.

a deep sigh escaped your parted lips before you downed the rest of your drink, wincing at the burn it left as it went down your throat. it was getting late and you weren’t planning on spending your night alone with the janitor.

you sent the cute bartender a soft smile while pressing a crisp $20 to the counter. he sent you his own grin back as his eyes trailed down your body clad in your tight hero suit, licking his plump lips in arousal.

you were flattered, truly, but you were a little occupied with getting back to your room, changing into some comfortable pajamas and conking the fuck out.

the trip back up to your room was long and arduous to your sore body, the elevators being out of commission leaving you to take the stairs.

by the time you were at your door, you were so worn out that you were ready to collapse but before you could manage placing your key against the lock, something caught your ear.

“p-please miss,” a breathy moan of your name followed by a wet slapping noise rang out through the door. “i’ll be your perfect bunny, just let m-me cum, please-!!”

holy fuck.

shoto todoroki, the man you’d been crushing on since your years at UA was now touching himself to the thought of you doing god know what to him and he was calling you miss?

you felt heat flood your core, your knees buckling under the heavy weight of your lust. now braced against the door, you leaned your ear against the wood, determined to hear exactly what was getting him off.

more wet noises permeated through the walls — did he just spit in his palm??? — before a long whine left his pretty pink lips.

“m-miss, i belong to you, y-you own me,” he gasped, the creaking of the bed just barely audible beneath his wavering voice.

by now, you knew you’d soaked through the crotch of your hero costume, your clit throbbing painfully beneath the fabric of your panties. you also knew you should turn around, head back to the bar and order another drink, leaving shoto to finish himself off but you couldn’t.

your feet were implanted in place, ear glued against the door as you listened to your partner masturbate to the thought of you owning him.

quietly, you lifted the hand gripping your key to the door, allowing the touchpad to register before slowly pushing the door open.

the sight that greeted you was otherworldly.

the blinds were parted allowing a dreamy haze of moonlight to envelop the room, casting the pale man before you in a somehow whimsical light.

he was stripped down to nothing, lying on his back with a hand wrapped around his gorgeous, swollen cock, furiously stroking himself to completion.

the plump lips that you had spent so much time admiring were parted, allowing whines and whimpers to leave them sporadically as his lithe hips bucked up into his hand.

shoto’s eyes were clenched shut so he was unable to see your dumbfounded, painfully aroused face as you crept into the room, leaning against the wall with your hand pressed to your mouth.

it wasn’t as though you’d never seen a man naked before — you’d had your fair share of men naked in your bed begging for you — but this was something else.

this was shoto — somehow more intimidating than anyone else you’d ever brought to bed and yet you’ve never wanted anyone more.

which is why you were almost surprised at yourself when you opened your mouth and whispered, “stop.”

immediately, shoto’s eyes shot open, wide with fear and apprehension as he lied there frozen, his hand still wrapped tightly around his girth.

the both of you stood there staring at one another, neither of you able to move. you let yourself have this moment to look at him, your eyes tracking all over his muscular form before landing on his length, not missing how it twitched under your gaze.

“i-“ shoto started but he was quickly interrupted by your own voice. “s’this what you do when i’m gone? touch yourself to the thought of me? you’re so dirty bunny.”

it was impossible to hide the low groan that echoed out in the hotel room, shoto’s cheeks burning red in humiliation. a grin crept across your face as you made your way towards him, giggling to yourself at the way he moved up and away from you on the bed.

“now you’re trying to hide, bunny? you weren’t hiding when you were moaning out my name.” your hand slid up his thigh until it was resting on his sharp hipbone, an abrupt gasp leaving his chest.

your hand continued its trajectory, fingers trailing across his tummy before coming to wrap around the base of his cock.

“o-oh fuck, miss—“ a thick drop of precum leaked from his slit and onto your awaiting hand as a low moan departed from the dual-haired boy.

one of his hands shot out to hold yours, drawing your attention to his heterochromatic gaze. shoto’s eyes held so much emotion, small tears already littering his lashline while the moonlight illuminated his crimson scar. he was ethereal.

“pretty,” you hummed, giving him a gentle smile while your hand squeezed his in reassurance. you’d had enough experience to know that that kind of comment was guaranteed to get some kind of vulnerability but what you were not expecting was the expletive shoto muttered before leaning forward to press his lips to yours.

immediately, he was over-enthusiastic, his lips and teeth clashing with yours messily, almost painfully, before you took control of the kiss, slowing shoto down before slipping your tongue inside his mouth.

his quiet groan vibrated into the kiss as you deliberately laid him down, resting his back against the pillows. from there, you had more access to his body, your lips trailing down to his neck while your hand took its place back on his length, lazily pumping him up and down.

“m-miss!” shoto choked, his eyes widening yet again, holding you with his stare. you chose not to respond, instead stroking him quicker while pressing kisses to his shoulder.

“miss,” he tried again, this time more deliberately. “p-please tell me i’m yours...”

with him asking so sweetly, a few tears leaking from his gorgeous eyes at the overwhelming moment, how were you supposed to deny him?

“of course bunny,” you purred, leaning down to peck his nose, sending shivers through his body. “you are mine.”

shoto’s reaction was instantaneous. his eyes rolled back in his head and his mouth dropped open as he felt his pleasure begin to crest, determined to push him over the edge.

you, of course, noticed his body’s response and quickly pulled your hand off of him, painfully ripping his orgasm from his grasp. a disappointed whimper resonated throughout the room as shoto’s eyes found yours, staring at you with such betrayal that you almost found it funny.

“c’mon bunny,” you moved until you were kneeling between his legs, your hands leaving featherlight touches to his inner thighs. “you can hold out for me, right?”

shoto nodded before he could stop himself, desperate for anything you would give him.

besides, it couldn’t be that hard to hold off, right?

...

wrong. so very wrong.

it had only been 30 minutes but it felt like 2 hours since you started playing with him and keeping him from coming.

shoto was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, both hands tangled in his bi-colored locks, eyes squeezed shut with tear tracks now drying on his cheeks and his cock standing fully at attention.

it was purple, throbbing, and covered in precum as you licked a stripe up the side making shoto sob in pleasure.

he had never been harder in his life and he was certain that he would just die if you didn’t let him cum soon.

“p-please, please, miss, please, let me cum,” he babbled, shaking his head mindlessly while bucking his hips up into the warm heat of your mouth.

you chose to ignore his pleas while you moved your mouth over his tip, sucking hard while your hand pumped what wasn’t in your mouth.

“a-ah-!!” shoto shrieked, his back bowing off the bed, his orgasm coming on so hard and so fast that he felt like he was going to explode. “c-can’t hold back m-miss, i can’t, i can’t!”

your hand continued to pick up speed before you pulled your mouth off of him, toying with his tip while leaning up to breathe into his ear.

“cum for me bunny. you’re mine.”

with a cry of your name, shoto came, thick spurts of cum covering his abs, chest and thighs as his body convulsed under the weight of his bliss.

it was the most all encompassing orgasm he’d ever had and you, his former classmate, current partner, and future lover, was beside him through it all, helping him ride it out.

in the back of his mind, shoto knew he should be at least a little worried about how your relationship was going to change after all of this but he couldn’t bring himself to care. you were here and now, bringing him the most pleasure he’d ever undergone with nothing but kind words and a smile, filling his touchstarved heart with heat and, dare he say it, love.

shoto may not have been the funniest or the most open but you chose him, even if it was just for the night. and now that he unlocked how much he loved you, nothing else mattered — just you and him.

as he collapsed back into the sheets, his head just barely registering the cool rag wiping him down, he took pride in how he finally admitted it to himself; shoto loved you and he would be damned if he let anyone else take him away from you.

now, all he had to do was tell you but that was a conversation for another day.

▼・ᴥ・▼

taglist. if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you!!

@anikazoldeck • @hakunamatatayqueen • @alilsumnsumn • @sukunaslefttesticle • @hawksyoongi • @rivviespens • @kenmas-nintendoswitch • @myumyutie • @unicorngluttony • @bloomyagi • @shantellmcintosh • @queenhxla • @yeyehdom • @persies-main • @yikes-buddy • @nnmesis • @thehandsresisthim • @hinatabokeboke • @joongsite • @amazinghefi • @sarcasticambiguity • @mr-bombastic • @i-am-literally-deranged • @ch0pi • @aonjuh • @www-bubblefish • @meliorist-midoriya • @maizurie • @idkdude776 • @midarislonglostlefteye • @queerloser17 • @franklyrobin • @ravioliplease • @ashsera • @chirumi • @yamashiro888 • @xxjosiexx • @krstnn • @bbsista • @seij6hs • @franklyrobin • @chirumi • @melodysakura

943 notes · View notes

smutsonian · 4 years ago

Note

Hello love 😺 umm can u pls please please write dark!steve x reader, where he bully and verbally harrases the reader but somehow kind of love her but just treat her bad and degrade her but when someone else tryna make her fun of her then he shows who she belongs to kinda stuff (pls if u gonna write pls make it so it so dark🥺🥺)...... Feel free to ignore tho cause i'm sorry this seems so long 😬😬🧡

2/2 Hey it's me again 👋👋😬who just send u a request of a long one shot of dark steve rogers x reader where he bullys her but i just forget to tell u that can u pls make that a Highschool AU pls , i really forget to tell u 😬😬

bully

steve rogers x reader

summary: Steve bullies you after you rejected him and he soon regrets it.

warnings: dark, non-con, violence, bullying, blood, self hatred, insecurities, psychological trauma, they are of age, please don’t read if you’re not comfortable with any of these. Not proofread.

word count: 1.7k

a/n: just wanted to post something so this may or may not suck

masterlist

Steve wasn’t always a bully.

It’ll probably be because you hurt his ego.

Maybe he asked you out one time but you were new in school and wary of people so you politely declined his offer.

For Steve, he saw that as you humiliating him in front of the school. The new girl just rejected the Steve Rogers.

Steve would be like ‘who do you think you are?’ and the cheeky flirty guy he was before becomes someone else.

He started spitting insults here and there, never missing a day to make you feel weird about yourself.

The soft and beautiful blue eyes from before turned dark and hostile towards you.

Sweet words turned harsh.

Flaws that you didn’t see before started surfacing.

Suddenly your hair is too messy and all over the place. Your skin is too dead and it makes you look creepy. Your eyes are too dull and sad that you don’t seem friendly anymore. Your nose is weird, and so on. The list never ended and you started to change from the person you are before.

Steve made sure to make you feel the way you made him feel.

You suddenly became closed off and did everything to be unnoticed. It’s better to be a nobody than be the center of everyone’s torment.

Steve is a popular guy and it didn’t take long for everyone to follow his lead.

You’re just trying to finish your last year and finally leave the hell you created for yourself but Steve swore to make your life a living hell.

“If it isn’t my favorite dead girl!” Steve’s voice booms through the hallway, the chatters immediately stopped to witness the popular guy, and now, the loser of the whole school interact.

“Got somewhere else to be?” His voice was sweet as well as his eyes but you know, everyone knows that his intentions are far from being sweet.

“What? Your tongue isn’t working anymore? Bet it rot with your dead body and now everything is decaying with you, is that it?” He raised an eyebrow at you, waiting for his friends to back him up which they did. Steve smirked as the hallway started being filled with thunderous laughter and they’re all directed at you.

You did nothing but bite your lip in hopes of stopping yourself from crying in front of everyone. You can’t afford another round of teasing.

You fake a laugh before turning away from him and started heading to your last class.

Steve hated the way your eyes looked at his with nothing but sadness.

Your sadness wasn’t even directed at him but at yourself.

He just wanted to make you feel the way you made him feel so you can understand that the both of you belong to each other.

You’re fucking perfect and Steve is far from that. He might be the most popular guy in school but you were way out of his league so he had to bring you down just a little bit.

But it got out of hand.

He had no idea how to stop what he started but then something happened.

He was just on his way out of detention, the hallways are now empty, everyone has already gone home and Steve was used to that. What he wasn’t used to is the sound of whimpering. More importantly, it’s the sound of you whimpering.

He wasted no time and ran towards the direction of your voice and as he turned the corner, his blood turned red hot in seconds. He’s seeing nothing but red at the sight in front of him.

Mrs. Roberts asked you to come to her office before going home to discuss something and you didn’t know whether to cry because of sadness or cry because someone actually cares for you.

Mrs. Roberts shared her worries with you because your once impressive grades started pummeling down to the point where it can cause problems with your chances of graduating.

Mrs. Roberts gave you special assignments to do so you can pass her subject and you thanked her for that. You even hugged her so tightly and dwelled on the affection for too long which worried her.

“Is there something wrong, dear?” She asked, eyes glossing over yours with worry.

You decided against telling her and just shook your head at her. “Do you think I’m failing my other subjects? What if I don’t graduate in time?”

Mrs. Roberts was quick to calm you down, telling you how the meeting with the teachers went and even joked about you purposely failing only her subject which you laughed at.

You left her office with a smile, chuckling at the memories of her jokes when you suddenly felt an impact on your left side and then your right side when you hit the lockers with a loud bang, making you whimper in pain.

“The fuck are you laughing at, dead girl?” An unfamiliar voice says above you.

You look up to see a boy a year younger than you but before you could reply, his foot started meeting your abdomen, your sides, or whatever part of you that he could kick. At some point, he was able to kick your face which made your ears ring in pain so you decided to shield your head with your arms to block his kicks.

“I don’t know why Steve never did this before but I am doing it for him. He’ll be so proud of me! I can take over his place after he graduates.”

You didn’t even realize that you weren’t receiving his kicks anymore but the sound of kicks can still be heard.

You peak out of your arms to see the young boy’s body across from you on the floor, receiving hits from a large man above him.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing, punk?!” Steve’s voice growls in anger and you didn’t know if you were thankful that you weren’t on the receiving end of his growl but it still terrified you.

“M-making you proud! I’m doing the thing you can’t seem to do!” The younger boy spits out red liquid before scrambling away after Steve pulls him up by his collar.

“If I fucking see you touch her again, you’ll never be able to see a day again, you understand?” Steve pushes the boy away before looking back at you, all the anger on his face turns into something softer.

He scrambles towards you, kneeling before you and helping you so gently until your leaning on the lockers, heaving at the pain that the boy caused you.

Steve continued to stare at you, eyes observing you before his hands gently prodded your face.

“You’re bleeding…” He murmurs before pulling out a cloth and dabbing it softly on the wound, apologizing when you flinched at his touch which surprised you.

“W-what are you doing?” Your voice trembles and Steve only sighed in response, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Why did you have to reject me?” He asked, carefully putting a band-aid over the scar and kissing it so gently with his pink lips. You stared at him in shock and confusion.

“Wh-What the f-fuck?!” You try to push him off but he only gripped both of your wrists with one hand while the other caress your face.

“We would’ve been so happy together. You would’ve had a great experience but you always manage to put yourself in danger… Why didn’t you just let me in?” The hand on your face goes to the back of your neck and your struggles were no use when he easily pulled you into a kiss, his tongue easily forcing itself into your mouth and coating and mixing your saliva with his.

“I should’ve not given up but you… you hurt me, ya know?” He pulls away before admiring your face.

“I lied though. You’ve always been so beautiful. I just wanted you to give me a chance but then you started avoiding me more.” His jaw clenches before his grip on your wrists tighten.

His other hand goes under your shirt before fondling your breasts through your bra. He leans in towards your neck before sniffing and moaning as he continues to massage your breasts while his hips started to grind against yours in need.

He growls against your neck as his grind started to get violently fast.

“Ahh fuck!” His hips stopped before he’s shaking against your body.

Your eyes widened at him as you looked down at the front of his pants which now had a stain on the crotch area.

“D-did you just—”

“See what you do to me?” He laughs before kissing your lips once more, the hand on your breasts trailing down before he forces it down your pants and under your panties to feel your core with his big hands.

His fingers make a quick swipe up your slit making you shiver at the feeling of him on your sensitive area.

“And I see what I do to you…” He inserts one finger, groaning at the way your walls are tightening around just one finger.

Steve swore he could cum again at the thought of his cock entering your very tight pussy.

“We didn’t start strong but we have all the time in the world now…” He places a kiss wet on your lips, continuing his assault on your core while his thumb finds its way to your clit.

Steve enjoys the way your hips jolted at the feeling and he smiled.

“I will help you graduate with honors and then after that,” he pulls back from the kiss before smiling at you.

“We’ll start over. I’m never leaving you again. I’m never going to give up on you. We’ll finally have what we both deserved.” He feels your walls fluttering around his one finger so he added another, thumb flicking your nub harder, forcing you to release.

“Mmm!” You bit your bottom lip as an orgasm was forced out of you, pleasure showering you as your eyes shut tightly.

“So fucking beautiful…” Steve pulls his hand out of your jeans before quickly placing his fingers inside his mouth to taste you.

“So fucking delicious as well.” He helps you up carefully before guiding you out of the school and into his car.

“I’ll drive you to school and from school from now on. There won’t be a time when I’m not watching over you. I’ll protect you from now on. I’m going to right every wrong thing I did to you, baby…” He leans down to kiss your lips then your head before fixing your seatbelt for you and starting the car.

“Everything will be better now.”

----

a/n: been trying to write but it’s just not working rn but im trying to come thru hehe

taglist

General: @readermia @unlikelygalaxygiver @xoxabs88xox @anncutamarica @chaoticfiretaconerd @i-love-superhero @caffiend-queen @coconutqueen21 @jtargaryen18 @jennmurawski13 @mushyjellybeans @ninjabucky @evnscvll @buckstaybucky @donutloverxo @rebloggingeverything @adriannajackson @la-cey @awaywithtime @gotnofucks @empath-bunny @belovedcherry @littlegasps

Anything Chris: @patzammit @princess-evans-addict @shadowcatsworld @notyourtypicalrose @onetwo3000 @bluemusickid @heyiamthatbitch @inlovewiththefictionalcharacters @slytherinandoutasgard

Chris and seb: @harrysthiccthighss

Marvel: @jemzeraion

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers imagine #dark fic #high school au #dark steve rogers x reader #dark steve rogers #dark!fic #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader

870 notes · View notes

some-dr-writings · 4 years ago

Text

Shuichi, Kokichi, Kaito and Kiibo’s crush tries to wake them up, but accidentally naps with them instead

Shuichi Saihara:

· You groaned, lifting your head off the table. Looking at your phone you found it was about three thirty. You lightly pat your cheeks and face, trying to wake yourself up. You barely had enough time to finish this project as it was, you could not afford to lose a moment to sleep. You looked down to your notebook, the scribble you had scratched down giving you a throbbing headache. “Sorry Saihara. W-what did I miss?”

· … You got no response.

· “Saihara?” You tried rubbing the sleepiness from your eyes, looking up to finding your partner was asleep on the floor beside the table.

· You sighed, slipping out of your seat. “C’mon sleepy head.” You kneeled down beside him, placing your hand on his arm, gently rocking him. “We need to get back to work.” A gigantic yawn escaped you. You couldn’t even stay on your feet, opting to lay next to Shuichi, still rocking his shoulder.

· …

· … As Shuichi woke up, he was confused as to what was on his face.

· A paper?

· It was a note stating that if you were asleep, to please wake you up so you both could get back to work.

· Asleep?... Work?...

· He abruptly sat up realizing he had fallen asleep as you were working. “Y/N I’m so-… Y/N?” He looked to where you were sitting, finding you were not there. He almost panicked before his gaze landed beside himself, where you were sound asleep. He stared at you for a moment, the cogs in his mind slowly turning before a furious blush exploded on his face. It was silly, but the mere thought of sleeping beside you sent his heart racing.

· He took a moment to compose himself before waking you up. As you couldn’t help but notice how Shuichi would occasionally blush and how in those moments he’d look in any direction away from you. Though confused, you decided to leave that be, getting the project done was more important.

Kokichi Oma:

· “Oma!... Hey, Oma! Where are you!?” You sighed in frustration. Were you really just forced into a game of hide and seek? “Oma! Just come out here! Please… I’m REALLY not in the mood for any of your shenanigans right now.” It was evening and the campus was giant. You just wanted to eat dinner and go to sleep, but knowing Kokichi, if you ate without him he’d ‘punish’ you for ditching eating with your lovable dictator, with a day filled with nothing but pranks. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world but eating dinner with Kokichi to avoid that wasn’t so bad. He was a good friend; albeit clingy at times.

· You searched around for any sign, uproarious laughter, perhaps a scream or the boy’s signature troublesome Nishishis. Maybe even Kirumi or some staff at the school cleaning up some giant mess. Yet you found nothing, no matter where you looked. Every classroom, every hall, every closet, every lab, every field, you found no sign of the supreme leader anywhere.

· Tired and hungry after having ran around for so long you leaned against a wall, sliding down against it till you were sitting. A cool breeze rolled past, catching your eye as it shifted the grass, lines of tiny bright reflections of that deep orange setting sun racing across the ground. Well… even if you would up getting endlessly pranked for skipping out on dinner, this view of the empty field was well worth it. Simply gorgeous with those rays harshly cast against the mountains, trees, and buildings off in the distance. You watched for a while, letting yourself get lost in it.

· But then. As the wind picked up, you heard something. In looking for it, you found that unmistakable checkered infinity scarf Kokichi always insisted on wearing with his school uniform in a tree. You quickly climbed up finding Kokichi asleep amongst the branches, slightly shivering with chattering teeth, the strange sound you heard. “Hey, Oma. It’s dinn- AAH!” Somehow you were pulled onto the branches with such a strong, viper like grip the air was knocked out of you momentarily. Next thing you knew Kokichi was curled up atop you, hugging you tightly as he nuzzled into you. “Well… I guess this is my life now.”

· …

· With a loud yawn and a stretch, Kokichi sat up. It was rather dark out, nightfall. Perfect, he successfully avoided curfew so he could set up his prank in the gym. Though his hiding place in the tree was notably much more comfortable and soft than he had recalled. Then he suddenly realized why that was. He was very confused as to how you had gotten yourself into the position of being his pillow, but he simply shrugged his shoulders, sure you’d tell him later. Instead he laid back down, quietly snickering, giddy out of his mind.

· He decided to stay asleep and set up that prank some other night as he snuggled into you, his smile absolutely beaming.

Kaito Momota:

· You loved your body. You always worked out, exercise, ate healthy, and rested well. You never found any of this to be a chore, it was always fun for you. Pushing past your limits to see if you could get any better. It was like you were always challenging yourself, always in a competition and you were determined to always come out on top, to be the best! It was for those exact reasons Kaito admired you.

· The moment after meeting you he practically insisted you be friends and train together. As much as you liked the guy, he infuriated you to no end. HE ALWAYS SKIPPED OUT ON TRAINING! He could be so much better, but he never tried! The few times he did, he actually gave you a run for your money, but it was only on the most rare of occasions he’d put in enough effort to do so. Why was he like this you wondered. It was just so dumb. You could not see why anyone would not want to keep pushing themselves if they were that good!

· The testing period was coming around, and you! Were! Ecstatic! You could always motivate yourself but getting the opportunity to show off how much you improved!! This was the best! And since Kaito was being tested too, you got to train with him when he was going all out and it was amazing! You’d both challenge one another helping one another push the other to keep going even when you wanted to stop and rest.

· One night you decided to do push-ups and see who could do more. You were so focused on yourself you weren’t keeping track of how Kaito was doing. Though you did know that neither of you was going to last for too long, given you had been challenging one another like this all day so you were rather exhausted.

· After some time you lost count, and quickly after you collapsed, unable to push up any more. Out of breath you rolled onto your back, finding Kaito was out of breath, laying against the ground. “Heh, l-lost count. How, how many you got?” “Uh… don’know.” “Rematch tomorrow?” “Yeah! And let’s get Makiroll and Shuichi to join.” “Hah, I, I think they’d just end up keeping count for us!” Kaito rolled onto his back, landing right next to you.

· Watching the stars, you lightly chatted, feeling that sleepiness slowly but surely taking hold of our mind. You tried telling Kaito that you should hit the showers and get to bed, since staying out in the cold, covered in sweat would likely get you guys sick. But neither of you were up for moving and you’d also get so absorbed in listening to Kaito speak of his dreams and space and you’d end up forgetting all about that.

· …

· Kaito slowly awoke, greeted to the brilliant sight of the rising sun. For a moment he was thinking of challenging you to running some laps when he realized that he was seeing the sun rise, he was not in his dorm. He also realized he held someone in his arms. You, the very person he was just thinking about… As he thought more about it something dawned on him. He thought of you a lot, much more than others, and you always inspired him, getting him to want to seek you out and spend time with you.

· Did he have a crush on you? He decided he’d tell you after you had woken up, after all, you needed rest for all the training you’d be doing together… and maybe as partners if you liked him too… Having a partner like you… he rather liked that thought.

Kiibo:

· “Kinda feels weird drinking this in the day. I usually just have this when I’m trying to get to sleep.” “I don’t believe hot milk and honey have any sleep inducing properties. How does it help?” You though for a moment, humming as you took a sip of that soothing sweet drink. “It’s calming…” You gently rocked the mug, seeing that white liquid swirl around, almost reaching the rim and spilling out. “Say, Kiibo, since you don’t need sleep, do you ever dream, like have night terrors or something?”

· The pair of you sat in your kitchen, you huddling near the oven, a mug of hot milk and honey in hand, desperately seeking warmth since the heater in your apartment broke. You glanced to the window, seeing that gray landscape dusted with white, like dusted powdered sugar over abeleskivers.

· “No, I don’t believe so. When I recharge, I do reexperience all my memories from last I recharged, but that’s for sorting out where those memories are to go in my memory bank.” “Hmm… So nothing new. No memories mixing and melding together. No warped past. Nothing to send you back years ago to worse times. No fears or terrors resurfacing. No…” “Y/N?” “Ah! Sorry, guess I just got lost in thought for a moment there.” You nervously chuckled, taking another sip of your drink, hoping it’d calm your nerves.

· “A-anyway, we still up for meeting next week?” “Yes! I’m always free for our weekly hangouts.” “I know, just making sure. I don’t want to have to go through all the trouble of setting up all your recharging equipment only for you to not show up.” “I- That was only once! And that only happened because Oma found my address and thought it was a brilliant idea to lay pranks all through the house and lab!” You chuckled, seeing Kiibo so easily get flustered. “I’m only teasing. Go and recharge now, I’m sure Idabashi is missing you and want’s you back home already.” Placing the mug on the counter you went over to the corner of the room where strange, misshapen looking equipment lay, you plugging it in set a few lights to gently blink on. “I’ll be doing chores if you need me, go and rest now.” Kiibo happily obliged, quickly getting out of your way, secluding himself in the corner.

· …

· Suddenly his emergency system went off, forcing him to turn on, and he awoke to the sound of a scream, then heavy breathing. “Y/N!” You were on the floor. He raced to you, but you flinched away, looking absolutely horrified. “K-Ki-Ki-Kiibo? Kiibo. I-” You placed a hand over you heart, taking deep breaths, trying to slow them as to not start hyperventilating. “What happened. How are you?” He moved slowly, kneeling beside you. “I…” You looked around, seemingly confused as to where you were for a moment. “Yeah, I’m fine.” You winced patting your head, feeling a bump at the top. It was then you noticed the broken vase by the high shelf you were dusting. “Ah… so I was knocked out. Explains why it was worse than usual.” You sighed, lightly shaking. “Y/N, what’s worse than usual?” Kiibo placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to tense up for a moment before forcing yourself to relax. “… You know things weren’t so good a few years back. And… I have nightmares. Frequently. Remember how I was always napping in High School?” He nodded. “Well, my therapist and I were experimenting with medication, seeing which could repress the nightmares and get me enough sleep at night and NOT day, but… clearly it took us a while to figure it out.” You nervously laughed recalling the many times you had fallen asleep in class, or at the cafeteria, or during P.E. or when walking to class or in any number of other places, only for Kiibo to wake you. The first few times he’d reprimand you, but after getting closer you opened up about your past a little and how you were on medication because of it. “But you never told me you had night terrors.” “Well… I would have told you if it had come up, but it just never did.”

· “Here, rest on the couch, I’ll call the hospital and clean the vase.” “Hey, I’m fine. I just need an-” “Oh no! You are going to see a doctor! That’s final! You got hit hard enough to be knocked unconscious for who knows how long! You are seeing a professional!” Knowing there was not going to be any way of convincing Kiibo otherwise you accepted your fate and waited to see if you got a concussion or not.

· “Happy now?” “Yes! Now we know you are alright for certain.” You shivered, tugging on our scarf. You glanced up, recognizing the building you were approaching. “Sorry for my clumsiness making you late for getting home. Tell Idabashi that and he still doesn’t have to make a better heating system for the whole building.” “I’ll tell him, though I’m not sure he’ll listen. See you, Y/N.” “See you next week.” Kiibo simply watched you leave till you rounded the corner, out of sight… Strolling to the door he thought of those days in High School. You likely never told him before, not wanting him to worry or shed those days in a different light, but you told him now, so you trusted him. Back then you had slowly opened up to him, and… well… it hurt knowing you still had secrets from those times locked away, but it was completely understandable as to why. Kiibo just wished there was something he could do to help you.

· You fell face flat on the couch, exhausted from another taxing day at work. You grumbled, hearing your phone, thinking it was your boss calling you AGAIN with the exact same information they had been nagging you about all day. You were relieved to see it was just Kiibo. “Hey, Kiibo. What’s up?” “What I mailed you, do you not notice it? It’s supposed to be as if it were your own skin.” You stripped off your stuffy suit seeing the sticker like ring that wrapped around your wrist and the square patch that you placed over your heart as instructed, the tiny lights on it in a heart shape lighting up in time with what you assumed to be your actual heart. “Yep.” “Good. Could I stay over for the night tomorrow?” “Hmm? Well… My schedule should be clear, but I thought you’d get enough of me in one day. Now you want to stay the night. You realize I’ll be asleep, so it’ll be boring, right?” “Yes! That’s the plan at least!” “… Huh?” “Thank you! I’ll see you tomorrow!” You were confused with the call being ended so abruptly. You were disappointed, not getting the chance to ask why Kiibo was using these to keep track of your vitals, but you didn’t have long to dwell on it, seeing moments later your boss was calling.

· Thankfully the next day you were able to relax, gleefully chatting with Kiibo and exchanging brief words with Idabashi, Miu and Soda as they went about installing a new heater in your apartment before moving on to ‘improving’ the place as they saw fit effectively kicking you and Kiibo out for a few hours to wander around town. When returning you were expecting to not recognize the place, but it seemed Idabashi was actually able to restrain Miu and Soda from transforming our entire building. Idabashi was even kind enough to leave out some tea for you.

· “Okay, can I finally ask why you’re keeping track of my vitals?” You pointed to your wrist then chest. “I’m seeing how you are normally and comparing it to when you have a nightmare. That way, I can see the signs and wake you up before you can even dream it! You still have nightmares, even if the medicine lessens the severity, I don’t want you to have them all together! So I’ll wake you up before you can have one!” “… Kiibo.” You smiled, but it wasn’t happy, Kiibo couldn’t quite tell what it was expressing. “Well I guess it couldn’t hurt to try, but won’t you get bored just waiting for me to get a nightmare?” “No need to worry! I have plenty to occupy myself with, though for this first night, and other first few if this works out and we keep doing this, I’ll solely be paying attention to you!” “Hmm… seems kinda weird, but… Sure.”

· Kiibo sat beside you bed, lost in thought, hoping this would work. You deserved to have a restful night’s sleep. This had to work! And he was going to make it work! He never had a nightmare before, but… it sounds horrifying for one’s own mind to conger up terrifying specters of any kind, digging up the past even if it was long dead and buried, unable to escape. One top of that, in his research Kiibo had learned of sleep paralysis and the supposed ‘demon’ many spoke of seeing. He wondered if you had experienced that. He feared he’d wake you into that state, if he’d appear to you as the demon. The longer the night wore on the more Kiibo’s fears kept pilling and pilling, to the point he was questioning this plan.

· That was till he was snapped to attention, noticing the signs of a nightmare starting. He gently rocked your shoulder, softly speaking to you. You flinched and softly gasped. “Ah… hey Kiibo.” “How are you doing?” “Uh… feeling kinda funky but… better than last I awoke in the night.” “Good. Huh, wait, why are you sitting up?” You mumbled ‘warm milk and honey’ as you shuffled out of the room. After heating the milk, you went straight back to bed. Nursing the mug, you and Kiibo chatted about nothing, mostly doing so to fill the stagnant air. Soon though, with a yawn, you placed the mug on the nightstand.

· Your movements were slow, your hand lingering on the handle before retracting it. “Kiibo.” “Yes.” “It feels weird having you just sit around, and I’m still feeling kind of off, would you get into bed with me?” Kiibo froze, a studder escape him, completely caught off guard by the request. “YES! U-uh, well… I did some research and there are lots of health benefits of sleeping with someone you have a great attachment too, like someone you love, so, I- uh… y-yeah… if it’ll help.” His voice wavered and his entire face flushed a bright red. However, in your sleepy state you didn’t completely take in what he said, more so confused why he looked different, but he said ‘yes’ so it was fine… you thought. You scooched over and lifted up the quilt… Though it didn’t leave much room given it was a single person bed. Hesitantly Kiibo slid under the sheets, having to lightly press against you as to not fall off the bed. “A-are you comfortable?” “Uh huh.” You simply pulled the chain attached to the lamp on the head stand, shutting it off.

· Internally Kiibo was screaming, panicking, having no idea what to make of this situation. Especially more so when you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly. Did you like him back? Were you just acting like this because you were tired, or were you already asleep and didn’t even realize it? Wait he could just check, but then you’d be doing this subconsciously so then was it possibly you liked him and you didn’t even know it? Kiibo sent himself into a panic as these and other questions of similar nature raced through his mind.

· …

· Then he awoke. Sunlight shone through the curtains, softly illuminating the room. After a moment of his systems turning on, he realized he shut off due to overheating, likely due to you hugging him and OH FUDGE! He flipped over finding you drowsily opening your eyes. “hmm? Oh, hey Kiibo.” You yawned, sitting up and stretching. “… Don’t know how the night actually went, but I’m feeling great.” “You are!” “Yeah. Guess your plan worked. Thanks, Kiibo. Guess I can actually get sleep once a week now, so that’s good progress.” You chipperly smiled, crawling over him as to get dressed for the day. Leaving Kiibo stunned, a bright blush dusting his cheeks, a goofy smile plastered on his lips. So it worked! Or was it sleeping with him… Kiibo really needed to stop this line of thinking before he overheated again. Though if him sleeping with you helped…

· You sat at the kitchen table, eating some breakfast as Kiibo sat beside you. “Hey, Kiibo. I’m guessing you could probably see this since you can compare it to other nights, but… well, even if I didn’t have a nightmare, it was nice to wake up and not be alone. This is a small apartment, but… it can still get creepy. Especially if you can’t move. So again, thank you.” “… Then, if I helped so much, maybe I could stay with you every night.” “If you did that, you might as well as move in.” Kiibo fell silent for a moment, thinking. “Dr. Idabashi likes you, and we have plenty of room back home. You could move in with us!” “… Wait, you’re serious?” “Yes, I’m being serious! Let’s do it!”

· If he could help you, Kiibo would do just about anything. Though… if you were going to move in together, he should probably confess, as to not let you find out later and you possibly think he had you move in under false pretenses.

· “Um, b-but, before you can, I have to tell you something!”

· He just hoped this would go well.

179 notes · View notes

wontshutup · 4 years ago

Text

Chapter 1 (Time)

Intro Chapter 2

Some notes:

It is messy messy heh.

It is long..I think

It contains season 2 spoilers

The reader is gender neutral.

Sorry If you don't like black coffee. It's for narrative purposes I swear, just bear with me.

You gazed out your window. The sun was rising, clouds clearing the sky, allowing it's light to have a better view of the outside. Soon enough the entire place would be beaming with life, people coming and going. It was warm in contrast to the past couple of days,perfect to go out for a little trip of your area, something to ease your mind and that was just what you were looking for.

Specially after another sleepless night, another nightmare, a haunting memory.

Shaking the feeling from the uncomfortable night you had, you changed out of your sweat damped pajamas. You were quick to be ready, something you picked up from your previous job, never getting out of schedule was crucial and efficiency was key for everything, no detours or anything of sorts, and so you were impeccably dressed and out of the house in less than ten minutes.

The warmth of the sun on your face relaxed your muscles, letting go of a frown you didn't even notice you had been wearing.

Even if the day had just started, even if you were safe, even if everything had stopped, dread was a feeling that accompanied every morning, every step you took, it was the small pleasures like these the ones that helped, they brought you a slight sense of peace. With the warm feeling, you made your way to get breakfast in your favorite café around the area. But there was a feeling, impossible to ignore, that something would happen today.

************************************************************************

The morning light hit the scribbled surface of the desk Five had now used to keep on tracing the equations that long ago didn't fit in the piece of paper anymore.

He was by now, hunched at the side of the desk, legs crossed, writing in the side of one of the desk's drawers. To the slight change of light Five sucked in a breath. He had expected to have at least a minimal idea of how to proceed before dawn, where to go to, and if necessary, who to kill, besides, he would do it anytime if that ensured his family's safety.

"Hmm...Morning ol' man" Klaus's voice stopped him from falling deeper into his negative thoughts.

"Morning Klaus" He answered with a sigh. He turned his gaze towards his brother, deep dark circles under his puffy eyes. "Ooohoh, you look like shit, did you even sleep at all?" Klaus brought up trying his hardest not to break down again, forcing out a sour smirk.

This sight brought a bitter feeling to Five's chest. "Well, one could say the same about you." he answered with a thin-lipped smile.

"Well that... didn't hurt me at all..." he looked past him to the numerical carvings covering the desk. "Got anything yet?"

"Well... I got a couple of options, leads mostly, here and there" He lied and it seemed to work as Klaus straightened a little, a glimpse of hope visible in his eyes. "But staying in bed all day won't get us to any, you know that" he continued raising his voice a little, putting back his usual strong façade.

"Ow c'mon old man!...I know you are right, still..." grunted Klaus, but got up, dragging his feet out of the room. "Seems like we are the only ones awake. I'll put some coffee" he declared and with that disappeared through the door.

"I could really use some of that" Five muttered to himself. Leaning back, he really needed a break, that was what he needed, then again, he didn't knew better for 45 years.

As soon as he said that, Klaus popped his head inside the room, Five turned to look at him, already knowing what he would say.

"There isn't any coffee" Five declared tiredly, to which Klaus nodded saddly.

"Yeah...But fear not, I saw a small café down the street on our way here, bet it is already open."He said, as if trying to cheer Five up...also himself. "Lemme just...-he sighed- I am going to fix this mess of a face, you should do that too" and with that, he made his way out of the room.

***********************************************************************

The ringing of the doorbell announced your entrance to the place, the smell of freshly brewed coffee flooding your senses as you inhaled deep perceiving a tinge of....sugar glaze? Whatever it was, it was sweet, painting a soft smile on your features This is going to be a good day.

"Y/N!" Greeted one of the new baristas, he was a very bright person, he had been here for about a week but he already learned your name "The usual right?" This made you smile wider, he hadn't even been taking any orders the previous days and he already knew your order? "Yes please" you said while reaching for your wallet. "Mmmm, Would you please remind me what the usual is?" He said slightly embarrassed.With the wallet in hand, you raised your face, a laugh scaping your lips in return. Slipping the exact amount of money you were paying, you slid it across the counter, getting a tad closer to him, as he reached for it and half-whispered your order to him. "An individual berry pie and a strong, black coffee".

"Black? As in bitter black coffee?" He asked, eyebrows raised.

"Yeah, I like it better that way" You simply answered.

"Oook then" he said with, lightly denying with his head in disbelief. He then recomposed himself with a sense of determination. "An individual berry pie and a strong, black coffee it is!" that was a little unnecessary but, his vitality was captivating in a way, you missed being like that, mentally that is. "Want me to take it to your table lovely?" oh now he was being cocky, you just smiled at it.

"Someone's making up for tips aren't they?"You told him lightly.

"Well, a little extra cash never hurt nobody." He said, brushing off the comment. "So, should I?"

"Yes, please" and with that, you left the counter. You wondered, if he actually knew you, if he would be as chatty as he just had.

*************************************************************************************

The place wasn't very far but it felt miles away, the silence between the brothers making the walk heavy.

Five just kept on thinking on ways to get them back, or out of this, to just fix it all, in a way to keep them all safe. He hoped Klaus had bought the story of him having some answers, he needed them to trust him, if they didn't that would most definitely play against them. He had already known the consequences of having his family in disagreement or scattered, he, THEY, couldn't afford to get into a confrontation between them.

His mind just didn't seem to stop for a second, he knew the laws of time well enough and everything around him, in this precise timeline, bound him to fail every time. He didn't want to rush to conclusions but at this point, he was convinced they needed a miracle. HE needed a miracle.

The ringing of the entrance bell got him out of his thoughts, eyes shutting up, examining the place. He inhaled deeply, the scent of coffee bringing him a very slight sense of comfort. Maybe things weren't that bad, are they? They are until proven otherwise. He shouldn't let his guard down.

"Ok now, let's see what we'll have...I am taking hummm the french grilled cheese and a cappuccino...and you?" Klaus examined the menu in front of them as they got in the line."Let me guess, a black coffee. I don't know what's with you man, maybe add a little bit of sweetness sometimes, your bitter soul could use some"

Five scoffed. "The thing here Klaus is that black coffee allows it to be served and consumed fast, simple, no need to make a fuss out of a simple cup of coffee. Some things serve their purpose just as they are" he eyed his brother "but that's something you are too young to understand."

"An individual berry pie and a strong black coffee it is!" the barista said in an unnecessarily loud tone, causing Five to scrunch his nose.

"Well seems they are. Are you really suggesting people who like black coffee are old? I think you people are just bitter.. " Klaus told his brother while signaling to the teenager who was now making their way towards a table.

Now, in any situation, Five would've simply ignored it, he knew he had better things to pay attention to than just a mere teenager, however, they seemed oddly familiar.

They carried themselves in a way that was way beyond their years, their appearance was one of a simple young person, just about their late teens, somebody who would naturally be beaming with life, but their body language, their eyes, they suggested as if they had gone through an exhausting life, a long life. Those eyes, he had seen them countless times. Where?

As they made their way towards the counter, he didn't tear his gaze from the teenager, scrutinizing their figure, their every move, the way they scanned the book before them, their hands went up to their scalp and tore lightly at their hair constantly, nervously.

******************************************************************************************

"Hey kid."

"Don't" they said in a warning tone, their eyes never leaving the envelope before them.

"Just stop that already, the hair pulling, it's making me anxious" he declared visibly irritated, or was it bothered?

"Making YOU anxious? I am making the great Five anxious?" they retorted mocklingly followed by a snicker. Their perfect young skin wrinkling at it's corners, and in contrast, wise eyes looked at him. "Well then I shall not bother you anymore Old man"

******************************************************************************************* Then it clicked.

"Hey, you've been staring awful long towards them, you look like a creep. An old creep" Klaus noted. Before turning towards the cashier. "Hey! so, I will take.......

With a quick step, Five made his way towards the teenager, heart pounding in his ears. If it is who he thought it was there might just be a way to set things on the right track.

His miracle. He prayed they were.

*****************************************************************************************

As you waited for your order at a small table you took out a book you have been carrying around, when opening the page you left on. You leaned in on the book, trying to concentrate in the narrative, noting every single little detail that had been written differently from the original. Not long ago, you were able to find a couple of differences here and there on some books, movies, plays, and numerous pieces of media that had been made after 1963 till now, pieces you knew very well, changed, even in the slightest details, from the ones you had seen previously. A word, a dot, a whole different scene in some. You knew that something had gone down, that explained the fact the entire world was still standing April the 3rd, 2019, yet, you didn't know how much and if for better or worse, you had decided to keep away from whatever had caused it. It wasn't your business, not anymore.

You had been so deep in thought, eyes scanning the pages so quickly you weren't even actually aware of the plot, anxiety once again filling your body, slowly opaquing the brightness in which your day had started. And just like the previous night, your figure started curling into itself. Shoulders rose hovering over the table, your shadow darkening the page, you started pulling at your hair for some sense of reality, this had always been of help to that throughout your life. It had been pointed out to you, you needed to stop, yet it kept you steady, anchored.

"Y/N?" A young voice interrupted your train of thought, thankfully. Shutting your book you raised your gaze to be met by a young man, a teenager, around your physical appearance, the smell of coffee mixed with the aura of desperation he carried and wild green eyes piercing right into yours. Those eyes. The familiarity of it all was unsettling, Commission? after working such a long time for them you knew not to trust easily.

"Who's asking?" you answered with a calm tone, showing no intimidation. Your hand discreetly taking hold of the butter knife in front of you.

"Of course you wouldn't recognize me" He muttered, rolling his eyes. Meaning exactly what? "If you had, you wouldn't even think about trying that" he said eyeing the knife. This made you tighten your grip on it, whoever he was, he meant no good. But you let him speak anyway. He straightened himself, adjusting his blazer as if to look taller.

" Alright kid" he sighed out, reading your reaction. You pursed your lips in distaste for the word that was used towards you, you narrowed your eyes at him, taking notice of his expression, his tone, he said "kid" as if he knew it would tick you off. He looked at you intently, giving you enough time to recall him. You dug through your memory, something you tried to avoid for a long time. You thought about getting up and away from him, you didn't need this, not now, not ever again, but you just sat there, holding his gaze. You scanned his features, eyes landing on a very characteristic trait, a dimple. Very familiar. No, it couldn't be.

Then you were back at his eyes, tired, old but young, almost like yours...as if looking in a mirror. So familiar.

You hadn't even noticed you had been holding your breath, the silence getting longer. You sigh, releasing a bit of tension and unwrapping the knife. You reminded yourself there was no reason to fear, not anymore, you had made it clear to everyone back there, even yourself, that you didn't care, you didn't deserve the trouble.

He noticed you let go of the knife, and his expression softened a little. A contrast to his previously imposing posture, but he didn't actually relax. Instead, he seemed eager to approach you. He proceeded with a friendlier tone as if testing if your action was a sign for him to proceed or you to leave.

"Used to work for the Commission, Five"

Hey, So, chapter 1 is here. Hope you liked it and that it made sense somehow?

About the black coffee, Sorry hehe. It is bitter I know but bear with me.

Also, I am trying to make this gender neutral, if by ANY chance I mispronounced your pronouns I apologize, I will keep an eye better for that.

- Milo

#tua #the umbrella academy #tua x reader #five hargreeves x reader #number five x reader #five x reader #five hargreeves #klaus hargreeves #tua spoilers

50 notes · View notes

clumsyclifford · 3 years ago

Text

i can’t focus when you’re with me (i can’t sleep when i’m alone)

hello i wrote some jalex because i had XO by nightly stuck in my head and this came from that

thank you @tirednotflirting and @reveriesofawriter for the love i love you guys so much all the time

title from XO by nightly

read it here on ao3

It’s on a pink sticky note on the fridge.

back soon. xo

The sign-off is familiar. The sticky note is also familiar, though Alex doesn’t really see why Jack leaves them anymore. There’s no point to the sticky note when Alex already knows Jack will be back and is no closer to figuring out his system for deciding when. Maybe there is no system. Maybe he truly just appears whenever he feels like it.

Alex knows about variable-ratio reward schedules; he knows how the lottery works, promising an eventual reward and paying up just often enough to maintain the ruse. He isn’t an idiot. He can understand he’s not really winning the lottery when he spends every single night wondering if this will be the one Jack decides to grace him with his presence. One victory is nothing when it’s borne of a thousand failures. But Alex will take one night with Jack for two weeks without, and Jack knows that, too.

So maybe Alex is an idiot, but it’s worth it to be. Nights spent with Jack are some of Alex’s favorites. Mornings waking up without him are just an occupational hazard.

Jack doesn’t belong to him. That was never part of the agreement.

The spontaneity of Jack’s visits also cause a lot of problems in Alex’s life. He can’t plan his work around Jack when Jack has no schedule. And if Jack shows up while Alex is in the middle of something, forget it. As soon as the lock clicks and the door swings open — as soon as Alex hears the familiar footsteps and the toneless humming of Jack’s entrance — everything else becomes static.

It’s distracting. It’s infuriating. It’s intoxicating.

A cool breeze edging on warm sweeps through Alex’s open window tonight. He has a textbook open on the desk and his laptop beside it. The contents of the textbook are entirely failing to stick in Alex’s brain, and he doubts taking notes is helping in any way. It’s important that he learn this, especially when they’re moving on so swiftly from this section of the material; Alex can already foresee the late night he’s going to have trying to reteach this chapter to himself once he finishes reading it.

Three excruciating pages later, Alex decides the textbook can wait for a cup of tea.

It’s quiet around Alex’s place as he treks into the kitchen to put the water on. It’s quiet more often than not these days, as Alex has gotten more and more entrenched in his coursework. He’s had less time to play music. When he has free hours now, he typically uses them to sleep. It’s not an exciting life, but it’s the one he needs to lead so he doesn’t collapse from exhaustion at any given moment.

Still, the staticky hiss from the kettle as it starts to boil is comforting. Alex leans against the counter with his eyes closed, somehow simultaneously trying to refresh his memory on everything he just spent two and a half hours reading and trying not to think about that. As much as he knows he needs a break from all the studying, he’s not sure he can really afford it.

Naturally, this is when the lock clicks and the humming starts.

Alex’s eyes fly open. He stares out across the kitchen. The kettle finally reaches a loud conclusion and clicks to let Alex know it’s officially done boiling the water. And through the open doorway, an off-key rendition of ‘American Idiot’ announces Jack’s presence.

He’s humming the guitar solo. Of course.

Warring parts of Alex’s brain fight to react to this unexpected arrival. He wants to groan, because this is the worst time Jack could have fucking chosen, on tonight of all nights. He’d like to spin Jack by the shoulders and push him back out the door where he’d come in before he gets too comfortable. Sorry, not tonight, too much stuff to do that I can’t afford to let you distract me from, he’d love to say.

But the other part of him is imagining pushing Jack by the shoulders against a very much closed door, and Alex, in his weary state, isn’t disciplined enough to ignore that thought.

Jack won’t come into the kitchen — he says it’s too domestic for him. Alex pretends he hasn’t heard the door open and close and makes himself a cup of tea anyway, fully prepared for it to go cold. Maybe Jack will understand if Alex lays it out for him. Maybe if Jack sees the textbook he’ll latch on.

Not that Alex thinks Jack doesn’t understand how much work Alex has. Jack is an intelligent person. He knows. It’s just he doesn’t care.

And Alex has to take some responsibility, because it’s not like he’s trying very hard to express that it matters to him if he passes his classes. When Jack shows up, Alex gives up. He could try harder to focus on his work, to send Jack away, but he doesn’t want to. He likes when Jack is here. He’d just like it not to overlap with nights when he has an entire textbook chapter to read, memorize, and internalize.

Steam is rising off Alex’s mug like wispy cirrus clouds. He brings it to his lips, burns his tongue taking a sip, and sighs.

Jack is sitting in Alex’s desk chair when Alex finally returns to his room.

He looks up with bright eyes when he sees Alex come in. “Hi, finally.” As he clocks the mug: “Ooh, whatcha drinkin’? Did you make me any?”

“Tea, and no,” Alex says. “I made it for me, because I’m trying to study.”

“Operative word being try,” Jack says.

“Yeah, and hopefully soon I will be succeeding,” Alex says. He’s not sure why he insists on pretending to refuse Jack when they both know with one hundred percent certainty that this is not what Alex wants nor a hill he plans to die on. For his own dignity, though, he has to at least look like he’s making the effort to be responsible. “You wanna learn about childrens’ development in their first year of life?”

“Such a hard no from me,” Jack says. “But be real. Do you want to learn about that?”

“No,” Alex says. “But I have to.”

Jack sighs. He holds out a hand and Alex places his mug in Jack’s grip. “What’s this? The usual?” Alex nods. Jack brings it to his lips, barely drinking any before exhaling harshly. “Fuck, that’s hot.”

“Yeah, I just made it. As you came in.”

“You want me to go?”

Alex sighs. “Obviously I don’t want you to go. I’d love to get some advance notice for when you’re gonna show up, though. Tonight’s such a bad night.”

“Tonight’s a bad night so far,” Jack corrects him, setting the mug down on Alex’s desk. It’s dangerously close to the laptop; Alex nudges it further away, and Jack just shakes his head a little, smiling.

“I mean tonight is a bad night for you to be here,” Alex clarifies.

“Then I’ll leave.”

“But I don’t want you to leave.”

“So I’ll stay.”

“Yeah, but then I’ll be distracted.”

Jack shrugs. “I’m honestly okay with that.”

“I’ll be distracted from my work,” Alex says, although he’s sure Jack had understood the first time. “By you. Like always.”

“And I’m okay with that too.” Jack tilts his head, stretching his neck to look up at Alex, deliberately baring his throat. He drives Alex insane, in whatever way is most accurate to the moment. Alex wishes he had more self-control, but thinking about turning Jack away and instead spending several more hours at a desk reading page after page of information he won’t absorb makes him want to cry.

And it would be rude, after all this time, to mess with the rules of the game. Jack shows up expecting that Alex will surrender, and Alex being taken aback and generally inconvenienced by this is all part of the guidelines for playing. He signed his agency away the first time he kissed Jack against the door. It’s too late to ask for it back.

(It’s not really too late — if Alex wanted it, he’d have it. He just doesn’t want it.)

Alex holds up one finger and with his other hand he lifts the mug to his lips. It’s still too hot to drink but he lets the liquid scald the tip of his tongue and the roof of his mouth as he swallows.

“You could call me,” he says.

“I don’t have your number,” Jack says.

“You could ask for it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“It’d make my life a lot easier.”

“But way less exciting.” Jack stands up, and he’s taller than Alex, and he’s so close now that Alex can count his eyelashes as they flutter shut and then quickly open again. “You can’t plan for everything, Alex.”

“Okay, I realize that, but I could definitely plan for you,” Alex returns. “Like if you just told me when you wanted to come over I could plan for that to happen. Instead of just appearing out of nowhere and—”

“What, ruining your night?” Jack casts his gaze to the open textbook. He looks back at Alex, quietly smirking. “I’m so sorry for distracting you from the absolutely fascinating timeline of child development.”

“Yeah, you should be.”

“Alex, this is a rescue mission.” Jack’s fingers land feather-light on Alex’s wrist and travel up his arm, pushing his sleeve up to his shoulder and bracing against the slope of his neck. His grip tightens as he massages the tense muscles under his fingertips. “I’m like your guardian angel. I show up when I can tell you need saving.”

“Saving from the horrors of developmental psychology?” Alex mutters, posture slipping like a landslide. Nobody on the planet can ease the tension permanently at home in Alex’s shoulders, but Jack is welcome to try.

“Yes,” Jack says seriously. “From the horrors of developmental psychology. And because I can literally feel the tension in your shoulders. When’s the last time you relaxed?”

Last time you were here, is Alex’s real answer. “I’m not clear on the relevance of this.”

Jack frowns. “I don’t want you to be stressed.”

“Then stop showing up out of the blue,” Alex huffs.

“Really? I’m the biggest stressor in your life?" Jack sounds genuinely incredulous at this.

“No, you’re not.” Alex sighs, looking anywhere except Jack’s face. “But you’re not not a stressor. You know I’m busy. You know I like to have a schedule. A little warning goes a long way.”

Jack is quiet for a moment. His fingers dig into Alex’s skin, working muscles that ache under his firm touch. It feels improbably good for something that kind of hurts. Alex closes his eyes.

“Forget I said that,” he mumbles. “We’re not gonna get anywhere. I’ve made my peace with it. You’re just going to be absolutely unpredictable and I’m just gonna be fine with it, I guess, because I like when you’re here, even if you never want to tell me when that’s going to be. It’s fine.”

Jack’s hands still. “I just think you’re overthinking it. I’m not complicated, Alex. I’m so easy. This is easy. If it were that important to you, you would kick me out, and I’d go. But you never do.” He resumes his massage, this time on the back of Alex’s neck. “You’re always working. And I’m here on a rescue mission, like I said. To keep you from drowning in it. It’s just a question of if you’re willing to be rescued.”

Alex groans. Even he’s not sure if it’s from the frustration of knowing he won’t get through anything else tonight or an effect of Jack’s halfway massage, though he figures it’s probably both. They’ve exhausted this topic and they’re making no progress. Alex is out of patience.

“Okay,” he murmurs. “Rescue me.”

Jack’s warm hands move to Alex’s face, and he’s still smiling a little bit when their lips meet.

The sticky note is gone from the fridge. Alex is not surprised.

Sleep is still clinging to him, weighing from every limb. There’s a stiffness in his neck that has returned from wherever Jack apparently banished it to last night. Out the window, a blanket of clean morning light covers everything it can reach. Inside, a blanket is still dragging on the floor around Alex’s shoulders.

It’s when he’s reaching for the kettle that he remembers his cup of tea.

The blanket drags behind him as Alex treks back to his room, and there he halts in confusion. The mug is gone. He’d definitely left it here last night, and now it’s not here anymore. It had been completely full and now it’s missing.

Huh.

Alex glances at the textbook, open to exactly the page he’d left it at the night prior. There’s a pink sticky note he’d failed to notice earlier.

good luck, this seems boring as hell. xo

p.s. put your tea in the fridge xoxo

A smile crawls into the corners of Alex’s mouth and stays there.

He returns to the kitchen and finds his mug of tea in the fridge, as promised. There’s aluminum foil over the top, which seems pointless but a nice gesture. A confusingly nice gesture. Why is Jack changing the rules of the game all of a sudden? It’s unusual for him to move anything around, for him to leave any indication of his presence other than one single sticky note stuck somewhere for Alex to find.

Now, not only has he moved Alex’s tea, but there’s another sticky note. Alex finds it on top of the mug.

you’re cute when you sleep. xo

Alex stares at the piece of paper until his fridge starts beeping at him that the door has been open too long. He pulls the mug from the fridge and closes it. And then he stares some more. What is happening? What is Jack doing? Is this just going to be another new rule to which Alex is oblivious?

As the microwave reheats last night’s tea — Alex wondering as it spins how Jack had known that Alex is the kind of person to reheat the tea rather than toss it and make a new cup — Alex shuffles into the bathroom to splash some water on his face and deem himself presentable for the day.

And there, on the bathroom mirror, is another pink sticky note.

It reads:

I want to make your life easier. no pressure. xo

Underneath the words, there’s a phone number.

Alex smiles.

#jack barakat #alex gaskarth #jalex #jalex fic #all time low #atl fic #fic #my fic #im so sorry about the tea thing #guys i am 100% alex in this fic #and do you know how much i would kill to have someone just randomly show up at my door #and give me a massage #im literally dying #anyway #enjoy this #i figured id make it a real post because. yknow. fuck it why not i have the time #i have so much free time now that i dont have to worry about fic exchange #mmmmmmmm

12 notes · View notes

fakeloveaskblog · 3 years ago

Note

I…

Wasn't actually trying to kill you. If that would comfort you any.

Nor was I, or anyone else here for that matter, planning on hurting Remy. I myself wasn't planning on sticking around once they got here. I can keep everyone else from messing with you for a bit. I won't ask that you refrain from crying, however. Let it all out, if you want.

I have… very little sympathy to offer still, though. Virgil. A tough childhood is not a requirement to seek therapy (and maybe some anxiety meds). Recognize it or not, you are not the nicest human being around. You can be manipulative, and controlling, and a jerk, and a pretty bad liar at that—when it's someone you can't fool as easily because they don't love you, and so they see through you when you try and get them to question their own truthful, reliable memory of events. Which is about as textbook definition of gaslighting as you can get, jfc why am I even trying to accomplish by talking to you right now???

Ahem. You are also incredibly codependent, by the way, and I don't think that's healthy or fair to either you or your significant other. I was sincere about the offer to seek help, to get better, and how maybe you should try. It'd be journey, but you're not… a complete monster. I've met complete monsters, I would know. So, yeah… it's your decision so it's up to you trying or not, but if you tried, you could still make it in time. (I have—a very reluctant and somewhat misguided faith in you, which is very fragile but it's there. Just… please seek help for all of—that.)

Now, for some grounding exercises: breathe in for four, out for eight. Can you tell me five things you can see? Four you can hear? Three you can feel? Two you can smell? One you can touch?

(a nudge of U!Virgil)

"Oh yeah because just-" Virgil stopped to desperately try to breathe "-Just trying- or- pretending to kill me is just completely fine!!! Not just as fucked up or anything!! I love nearly dying!"

The grounding exercises part of your message replayed over and over as he tried to muffle his hyperventilating by covering his mouth. He shut his eyes tight to stop the tears.

"SHUT UP! please"

He randomly picked up the closest shard he could feel and threw it in the general direction where he imagined you would be if you had a body.

"You're not Remy okay!? Getting random ass exercises thrown at me from the person who threatened to murder me 5 seconds ago won't help"

He leaned his head against his knee and pretended Remy was sitting next to him. Reminding him to breathe in the tone of voice they only ever used with him. Asking him silly questions about Chucky and My chem lore to distract him. Even right after he'd yelled at them. Especially then.

"Once they get home?" He mumbled out "How do you even know that. What if- what if they never come home. What if they're hurt or way too high or- or....tired of me"

He sniffled before checking his phone again. Still nothing back. Admittedly he did proceed to type out some pretty nasty messages. He only sent some of them.

"It's not like we have enough money to get me therapy and meds as well. Only reason we can afford Picani is because he's friends with my parents....I've honestly been thinking about cutting Picani off since the therapy stuff isn't making my hungun any better anyway" He let out a long sigh and wiped away his ears so harshly his fingers left red marks on his skin "I need a drink"

He stood up on shaky legs and looked around in the cupboards where the bottles and meds usually where. They were all empty. Remy must have drank some while he was away at work again.

He dragged himself over to the couch and laid down face first like a sad codfish. He only moved slightly so he could fumble his hand around in the mess of cigarette packages, half opened candy bags, joints and empty starbucks cups laying on the coffee table.

"Isn't it really Beanie who is more codependent. I mean they wouldn't survive a month if I threw them out" He grumbled while lighting a non cigarette. "You don't have to call me a jerk by the way. I know I'm a bitch. Just lucky Beanie thinks it's part of my charm"

He was kinda happy all the lights were out. He didn't want to see himself with tear tracks on his cheeks and red eyes.

"It's just......" He blew out a puff of smoke "Before I met Remy I was nobody. I could disappear and only my parents would notice. I could literally see myself slowly rotting away with a boring job and no friends until I died. I- I thought I would do just that"

He dragging his fingers through his hair while glancing away.

"and then I met Remy and suddenly I was important. Doing all of their homework for them, giving them half my lunch every day, holding their hair when they puked. It all gave me a reason to actually...exist"

He could still remember the way they'd looked the first time they met, when they'd came rushing into the library half an hour late. They'd been forced to get a study buddy/helper or else they would have to retake a grade. He had been forced to be someones study buddy/helper to socialize more. They'd been 14. He'd been 15.

"don't tell them but.....but sometimes I looked forward to the nights when they would wake me up at 2 am by climbing in through the window because their dad had hurt them so bad they were afraid to sleep there. I got to patch them up- I bought a bunch of bandaids and disinfection stuff just for that- and take care of them. Let them talk it out. Cry. And then I got to spend the entire night with them. Cuddle, talk for hours, be uh intimate or they would take me out to some place of town I had never been before"

For just a moment he smiled.

"I would always worry so much when Remy took my parents wine. But they never even noticed. Somehow their laugh got even prettier when they were drunk"

The smile disappeared.

"I should have told my parents about the abuse.....when Remy made me promise not to tell anyone..I still should have....I just....I didn't want the moments of me being the only taking care of them to be taken away. I wanted it to be our special secret. Our special moments....I wanted to be special"

The smoke cloud was twirling around his head.

"And after....the accident well I got to keep that feeling. Remy needed someones's hand to hold during all of the meetings with doctors and someone who helped them eat and made sure they sat up in bed every now and then. Before they got the fibromyalgia diagnosis and surgeries y'know"

Virgil suddenly sat up and motioned with his hands towards you.

"See? Don't I sound super caring! Do you get how many times they've begged me to hit them!? I could have! I never did because I'm not a disgusting swamp monster!"

He didn't even get a sarcastic clap back.

"Obviously I don't need therapy! I basically went through everything with you here in 5 minutes! pff why would I need to pay someone to drag this all out! I'm great! My relationship is going fine!"

He stared down into the floor as he remembered Remy had just left and wasn't answering his calls.

".....My relationship has been going fine....so far! I mean we still get those special moments after all these years of being together! I still get to calm them down from breakdowns after they've freaked out over nothing or started some argument for no reason. And I get to be the only one there for them on their worst days chronic pain wise. I...I...still get to fall asleep next to them most days"

Sometimes he intentionally made them cry or triggered a flashback so he could calm them down. Sometimes he made them feel guilty for taking meds so he could take care of them more. Sometimes he checked their phone to make sure they didn't have anyone else, so he was still their only one, so he was still special.

"I'm not manipulative OKAY?! I just want them" to keep being dependent on him "to be fine! I don't want them in more pain than necessary and they're happy with me! With the way our relationship is! They always smile after I've calmed them down! They still say they love me! They're happy! And safe! They still pass out from pain sometimes! What if I let them go for too long and they pass out among a bunch of creeps!? Or what if something else bad happens because they're alone? Don't you know childhood abuse victims are more likely to get into abusive relationships?? They could be manipulated into cheating on me with some abusive asshole! Or cheat on me in general! They look cheap! They're kinda stupid! Probably wouldn't be hard to convince them!!"

He blew out more smoke.

"f I ever am controlling it's just because I KNow what would make them the happiest and safest and they're just not listening to me enough! I know what's best! I am already trying my best to keep them- to keep our relationship this special! I don't need help and the only thing I need to get better at is maybe sewing or lying I dunno! Everything is fine!"

He slumped in on himself and quieted. Like he realized there was no way he was convincing you. No way to make your faith any less fragile. No matter how much he could see the truth there was no way you would ever see past his lies.

He let up into a quiet mumble "Don't they say you're not supposed to fix something that isn't broken"

#describing him changing his abusive ways as 'making it in time' sounds so nice C: i like it C:#ask #sanders side fic #thanks for thr ask C:

4 notes · View notes

colorseeingchick · 4 years ago

Text

Red Rose, White Rose

Summary: He’ll do anything he has to, in order to make her happy.

Warnings: Hanahaki AU, main character death, angst

Word Count: 2k

A/N: I know it never mentions Tamaki by name, mainly because this piece was written to be any ‘him’ you feel fit. So if you see this for a different character, that’s okay too, I’m curious who you see so just let me know :) I hope you all enjoy <3

He settled down into his seat, hair falling over his eyes, protecting him from the world- if I can’t see them, they can’t see me.

He only peaked out from the side of his hair when he heard her sweet laugh resonate in the room.

She was like the sun. She was a breath of fresh air after being in a stuffy room. Bounce locks of chocolate brown hair swaying from side to side as she tossed her head, mocking the rough boys who playfully called out to her, making small talk.

She could talk to anyone. Everyone was captivated by her charms, including him.

He didn’t have many friends. None, to be exact. Family was, in name, there. But also questionable. All he had were the hills of greenery and wild flowers to roam and hop in- his safe space.

Winter months like these were hard for him. But that’s why she was all the more radiant on days like these.

He never talked to her. But sitting next to her, he heard all her conversations- and through listening, his heart fell deeper and deeper in love.

She loved rainbows and sunsets. Her favorite food was potato pancakes. She loved listening to music and dancing. She was funny, kind, charismatic.

His soft soul never stood a chance. Sitting by the window in his attic room, his mind drifted to thoughts of her dancing and laughing, watching a sunset with him in the embrace of summer’s warmth.

He sought happiness. He sought bliss. To him, she was exactly that. Everything he didn’t have. Life was bearable with dreams of that future. Would life with those dreams coming true be enjoyable?

He was willing to take the risk to find out. What did he have to lose? Life had been a neutral experience so far. There was no joy for him to lose.

How should he confess? He wanted to do everything right.

Suddenly, a memory of a conversation she had came to mind.

“I love white roses! They’re my favorite,” she told her friend while a boy leaned in on their conversation.

“Oh yeah? Why white?”

“Because they’re different! And special. You don’t see them as often. Everyone likes red roses. But white, its different. And isn’t that which is unique so beautiful?”

Having always seen himself as the odd one out, this had made his heart flutter. Being different, standing out- it was liked by somebody. That was the first time he had felt accepted in his grey, dull life.

It was with this memory that he decided he would confess to her with a white rose, at the end of spring-the last day before break would start. It would be perfect.

***********************

Scouring his hills high and low, he sought a white rose. Despite all the time he had spent buried in the underbrush of the natural terrain, he never noticed that roses were not among the flowers that blossomed.

He quickly sped away to the marketplace once he realized he wouldn’t be able to find a rose before school had started. The search began at sunrise, but the sun had made its way up, comfortably resting above, warmth brushing earth.

In town, his shoulders loosened upon seeing a bundle of white roses out at a flower shop’s stall. His breath caught, however, when he saw the price.

He barely had enough money for lunch, which was very little as is. But he couldn’t even afford a single white rose. He turned his head, scanning for another shop that would carry flowers. No such luck.

Why are they so expensive?

“I’m sorry, son. Roses are such a rarity around here, and white roses are even rarer. That’s why they’re priced like that,” the old man running the shop kindly explained.

His shoulders sunk. What was he going to do now? His chest began to tighten. His breath felt like it was caught in his throat. He coughed, hoping to clear his throat and be able to breathe better.

Was this panic? He had never felt anything as intense as this before. He didn’t like it.

“I think you have enough money for a red rose, how about that?” The old man chimed.

“T-thank you, but only white will d-do. Its her f-favorite.”

“Its for a girl, huh? You really like her?”

“Yessir. I d-d-do.”

“Tell you what then, You pay me for a red rose, but you take a white one. Sound alright?”

His face lit up, elated. This elderly man’s kindness had saved him. This small act of kindness made him feel warmth all over. He wondered what other kindness’s the world had to offer.

“Yes, thank you sir!”

He put all his money on the table, and gently picked out the brightest, biggest blossom of the bunch. Holding it gently, he decided to hide it in his backpack carefully once he got to school. He wouldn’t have any money for lunch, but he didn’t mind at all.

“Good luck, son. I can tell she really means a lot to you, if you were so set on getting her favorite.”

A blush settled over his face, and for the first time in a long time, he smiled.

************

At long last, the day had finally ended. Jitters flooded his legs and fingertips. His time to confess had finally come.

He saw her, brown hair gently being tossed over her shoulder as she packed her bags, her friends waiting at the doorway.

Fingers trembling, his bangs hid his flustered expression, pulling the white rose out from the top of his bag. Heart pounding out of his chest, he approached her seat.

At first, upon his approach, she didn’t acknowledge him. Perhaps she didn’t notice him. Should he say something?

“...H-Hi.”

She puts on a shocked expression, as if she didn’t see him there the whole time.

“Oh, uh, hi…”

He had her attention -- now what? All words had escaped him.

“I just wanted to say thank you. In my boring life, you have made it worth living. Your laugh is like the song of an angel, and your smile is like the sun on a rainy day. I know we’ve never talked, but admiring you from afar has kept me going for so long. I wanted to be able to show you how much you mean to me. I want to bring you all the joy and bliss you bring me. I want to be happy with you. Not just because of you.”

But as I said, all words had escaped him.

“Th-this is f-for you… I kn-now white roses are your f-favorite.” There it was. His stutter. It always got the better of him, but at a time like this?

Though only a few words, the action said everything it needed to.

The flower shook in his hands, awkwardly outstretched.

“Um… I’m sorry but ah- I don’t really like white roses. Red roses are the prettiest, I think.” She gave an uncomfortable smile.

He didn’t notice though. Everything had gone blurry.

“I’m so s-s-s-sorry.” It was the only thing he could say before his feet naturally started to carry him out the door, past her friends who had watched the nightmare play out.

“Oh my God did he actually ask her out?”

“I think that’s the first time I’ve ever heard him talk.”

“Poor thing, she could’ve at least taken the rose- I saw that they coasted an arm and a leg. I feel bad…”

But the comments all fell on deaf ears. He felt like he was drowning. His feet that took him out the door sped up, carrying him to his hilly field- his best hope at a safe space. It was windy that spring day.

His mind wasn’t working. There was only pounding in his chest and deep gasps for air as he crashed, resting against his ‘nap tree.’ The flower was still in his hand. Some of the petals had fallen.

He sat and thought. Should he go and try and exchange the rose for a red one? No. she wouldn’t take it anyways. It wasn’t the rose that wasn’t good enough for her. It was him.

Its okay. He could just go on admiring her from afar, right? Nothing new. It didn’t matter. But why did his heart feel like it was on fire? Why were tears stinging his eyes and staining his cheeks? He coughed, seemingly incapable of catching his breath.

He was heartbroken. That’s why. The one person he had invested so much of his heart and soul into wanted nothing to do with him. He could fantasize within the safety of the unknown, but now reality had knocked him down to earth. He was a lost cause. A sad, pathetic excuse of a person. Did he think he could really end up with her? Stupid.

Sniffles, sobs, and coughs were covered with the sound of leaves and branches blowing in the wind. But the sniffles, sobs, and coughs all became more aggressive.

In the midst of his breakdown, his eyes trained on the rose, now tear covered. Did she like white roses? Or red? Maybe she didn’t even like roses at all. Maybe everything was something he created for himself to pretend he knew her. Not that it mattered. He couldn’t afford any of it.

But the though of a red rose haunted him. What if he had one of each? Lost in his thoughts, the physical pains of tears and coughs were overlooked.

Suddenly, by some miracle, a red rose appeared in his hands to break his thoughts! It was a beautiful, bright red rose in full bloom. Upon first glance.

He gently brushed the petal, only to watch the red smear.

It was a white rose.

The red was blood covering it.

A wave of shock and fear flooded him. Where did it come from? His body answered as he heard a horrible wheezing sound. Coming from his mouth.

A few petals only came up this time. But he knew. They were coming from him. As moments passed, the coughing only got worse. More and more red and white pearls fell from his mouth, blood dripping from the sides.

The more he tried to breathe, the worse it got. White stained roses were all that surrounded him.

To him, the worth of the flowers around him now exceeded the worth of his own life.

“I wish I could’ve brought her as much happiness as these flowers would…”

He contemplated crawling home or to a hospital, but he decided against it. It would only give his parents a bill they couldn’t afford to pay, and its not like anyone would really miss him anyways. He accepted his fate.

He would much rather take a nap against his nap tree in his only happy place. A nice long nap.

His coughing became like white noise as he watched the sun set. As the air in his lungs were gradually replaced with thorny pearly white roses, he became light-headed, vision fading. Before the pink and orange sky disappeared for good, he swear he saw her, dancing in the field, smiling at him, one last time. He smiled as the world darkened.

*******************

She watched the popular boy sit on the empty desk next to her, pulling out a large bouquet of white roses from behind him. She gasped, elated.

“My favorite!” She took them graciously.

“But they’re so expensive. How could you afford them?” In the height of summer on their last day of school, she assumed the prices would still be high.

The boy rubbed his neck. “Actually, I cut these roses myself. There’s this beautiful rose bush at the top of this hilly field, right under this huge oak tree. I don’t know how it got there, but it’s a really a sight to see.”

She smiled and gently smelled the roses. They smelled fresh

and metallic.

But she dismissed it.

“That’s wonderful. You should take me there, to that hill. I would love to see it myself.”

She giggled, gaze lost in the roses in her hands.

“Thank you for these, really. White roses really make me so happy.”

74 notes · View notes

catboymingi · 4 years ago

Text

there’s no caution signs for life

and even if there were, who’d follow those?

navi/masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 9k i am so sorry

warnings: mentions of rape, sex (nothing leading up to it, nor a description of the act) - these are mentioned as past happenings; depictions of unhealthy coping (the unhealthy coping part of sleeping around is focused on more than the sex part), self hate, medication use (prescription, for mental health issues); language

a/n: my thought process: so we want hurt... then comfort... then hurt again... then comfort... and then we are in love with mingi - also heavily inspired by this song (pihtiote by apulanta) which is written as “PIHTIOTE WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO STAN“ in my inspo doc

you made a mistake, but maybe it’s the mistake that finally gets you back on track

jos tuntisit mun mieleni / mun ajatukset ja sieluni / jos kuulisit sydämen / sen rytmin merkityksen... / muutos roikkuu ilmassa - if you knew my mind / my thoughts and soul / if you listened to my heart / the meaning of its rhythm... / change hangs in the air

you would’ve expected that four years after the incident you’d be over it, you held yourself to this standard, thinking that you were weak for still being affected. being incredibly affected, today, on the anniversary of the worst thing that had ever happened to you. of course you were in a bar again, as always, looking for the next poor soul to take home, and you quickly found someone. maybe you should have kept looking for someone else, because this guy was sweet and attentive, and experience had taught you that the sweet ones were hoping to stay in the mornings. but because today wasn’t just a regular day your regular concerns were not as much of a consideration as they usually were and you didn’t keep looking, you went with him. he wasn’t drunk, he was fine with it, so you took him home.

but you knew, the next morning, that you should have kept looking, when he was still next to you when you woke up.

“good morning”, and he still sounded so incredibly sweet that you felt a surge of guilt wash through your body, because you’d have to let him down.

“i don’t usually do this”, he then told you, smiling awkwardly with one arm wrapped around you.

“i don’t do relationships.” and though you didn’t want to hurt him you felt it’d only be more unfair to him if you kept him here when he was very obviously hoping he’d get to take you out.

“o-oh. sorry.” arm removed from around your waist as if he’d gotten burnt. he looked a little lost, leaving your bed and hurriedly putting his clothes back on. he sent you a last glance, a mixture of hopeful and apologetic, as he left your apartment. you hadn’t even kissed him. poor boy.

but it wasn’t something you could do. not after what happened. it was bad enough that this very specific first had been taken from you, the biggest first for most people; you weren’t going to give up any other firsts. dates, relationships, kissing, all that was out of the question. you went home with people and left the next morning, that was how this worked, trying desperately to make that one horrible first matter less if the next ones didn’t matter either. if you pretended sex wasn’t a matter of emotions, maybe one day you’d finally get over what happened. one day.

you honestly didn’t expect to see the sweet boy ever again, because you never saw any boys ever again, but found yourself surprised when he was in the kitchen of the apartment you’d woken up in without remembering this night’s boy’s name or where exactly you even were. you were just trying to get some water before leaving when you found him standing there, looking at you with a somewhat sad smile on his face as he recognised you, obvious what you’d been doing here.

“you really don’t do relationships, huh?” he knew his flatmate was notorious for quick flicks, so seeing you come out of his room at least told him that you hadn’t lied to him that morning just to get him to leave. still, it was a weird feeling.

you just looked at him, unsure of what to say, because there wasn’t really anything good to say to him. ‘yes, i’m a whore’? ‘i fuck to forget, it’s nothing personal’? that wouldn’t work.

“you know each other?” last night’s company had apparently woken up as well now, before you’d been able to sneak out, and he looked between you and his flatmate with a curious expression. that was quickly replaced by one of understanding as he managed to read the expression on the other boy’s face, and he told you, almost proud: “oh! you’re the one that made a man out of mingi!”

you’d been his first? oh fuck. you usually made sure to ask about that, because you refused to steal people’s firsts the way yours had been stolen, didn’t want to be a bad memory, but the emotional turmoil of the night you’d met mingi had apparently made you neglect this most important part in choosing your company.

“you just had to embarrass me”, the sweet, tall boy groaned out, and you looked at him wide-eyed. it felt like the room was spinning around you as the guilt hit you like a truck, the disgust with yourself, because this poor boy would never be able to get this experience back and it was your fault, your fault alone because you’d used him to get over what had happened to you.

you barely even paid attention to what happened next, to your panicked exit, because you had to get out. you needed air and you needed to be away from the living reminder of how badly you’d fucked up. you stormed out of the apartment, not even bothering to put your shoes on before you were outside, all your belongings clutched to your chest until you were on the street outside of the building. you’d taken the stairs, run down and almost fallen because you were barely paying attention to where you were stepping, earning you more than one concerned glance by neighbours that were doing whatever one does in a stairwell on a sunday morning.

once outside you dropped on the grass in front of the surprisingly nice building, trying to catch your breath and putting on your shoes. your heart was beating rapidly, blood rushing through your veins loudly, and you could feel the dreaded panic attack incoming. it was because of your sorry state that you didn’t notice that mingi had come after you, keys in hand that had to be yours since they were neither his nor his flatmate’s.

when he saw you heaving on the ground struggling with your shoelaces, though, his concern was more making sure that you were okay. “is everything alright?”

your head jolted up, and you were looking at him - through him - wide-eyed and shocked, only half able to recognise him for who he was.

“leave!” you surprised yourself with how scared you sounded, how loudly you yelled at him, and he seemed at least as surprised. had he done something wrong?

“you forgot your keys, i just-”

but you didn’t even really register what he was saying, just shouting at him again.

“i said leave!” and because he didn’t really have the right to ask what was up (you’d just had sex, obviously not a big deal, not to you) he just dropped your keys next to you without saying a word and left.

it had taken you a few days, a call to the acute unit of the hospital you’d spent several weeks in back when you hadn’t yet tried to self-medicate with one night stands, and their prescription renewal for benzodiazepines (which you were now taking near religiously) before you were even somewhat back to normal and able to go back to work or university. maybe you would have stayed home longer, though, if you’d known that mingi had been visiting your work daily, hoping to see you there and at least be able to make sure that you were okay. you’d had a work key on your keychain, and even though he did feel a little stalker-ish he’d shown up every day. you hadn’t looked okay at all, and while you obviously didn’t care about him, probably thought he was somewhat embarrassing, even, he couldn’t help but worry about you.

and when you came in four days after you’d stormed out of his apartment like that he felt somewhat relieved, because going to work meant that you couldn’t be doing all too bad. he didn’t come up to you, though, feeling like that would definitely cross the line between somewhat creepy behaviour and really creepy behaviour.

your coworker had noticed him, though, the new regular, and because she knew about your tendency to take every adult being that didn’t mind it home with you she leaned in close, whispering and pointing at him, informing you that he’d been coming for a few days now and that he seemed like a good catch. and it was first then that you noticed mingi.

it was solely thanks to the benzo that you’d taken right before leaving that you didn’t have the next panic attack right there. you couldn’t do anything about it right now, anyway, couldn’t afford to break down at your workplace. so you tried your best to pretend you didn’t see him, to pretend he wasn’t there.

he very much was there, though, barely having moved by the point your break started, which left you feeling conflicted. you didn’t want to talk to him, but at the same time you just really wanted to apologise, hoping it would alleviate even some of the guilt still eating away at you.

“mingi?”

he looked up surprised when you were calling out for him, because he in all honesty hadn’t expected that at all. he’d hoped you’d talk to him, of course, but he hadn’t expected that you actually would.

“how are you?”

he should be the one asking. he should be apologising for the awkward situation you’d found yourself in that was at least partly his fault. but instead he just stammered, somewhat embarrassed, somewhat flustered: “i’m, i’m good, i think. you?”

he seemed so sweet and you felt so bad for what you’d done. you wished you could take him out, to make up for it, wished you could go on an actual date because he deserved his first to be someone that would go out with him and that would cherish him and someone that actually cared about the experience. not a fucking slut.

“not much worse than usual.” and before he could ask about it you continued: “i’m so sorry about that night. i didn’t know you hadn’t… you know. i shouldn’t have done that.”

this situation was so weird. you seemed a lot more sorry than expected, more upset with yourself than appropriate, you seemed so different from the girl that had told him that she didn’t do relationships right after waking up. it seemed like you genuinely cared about an experience that wasn’t even yours, like you felt worse about him having spent it this way than he did himself.

“it’s fine, really. i shouldn’t have expected i’d get to take you out or anything, it was my own decision.” though he did sound somewhat sad about it still, and you wanted to hug him because this wasn’t fucking fair, your stupid way of coping was never supposed to hurt anyone else.

“i’m sorry. i wish you could. just, it’s not you, okay? you’re sweet and nice and deserve something better.” whether you meant better than a one night stand or better than you not even you knew.

mingi didn’t know what to make of this, didn’t know what to make of your behaviour, so he just nodded. but when your coworker called for you to tell you your break was over he spoke up, hit by a sudden wave of… not confidence, but bravery caused by wanting to see you again, even if you didn’t like him.

“can i come again tomorrow?”

even though you knew you wouldn’t be able to give him what he deserved you didn’t have it in you to turn him down, so you just nodded before going back to work.

and he did come again, waving at you shortly before ordering a drink and sitting down somewhere, waiting for your break, hoping you’d come to talk to him again. he was patient, looking at you every now and then but mainly scribbling into a small notebook he’d brought to kill time. when you did come over he smiled at you, a smile brighter than you deserved from him.

“how long is your break today?”

“thirty.” though you didn’t have it in you to look him in the eyes.

“can i get you a drink?”

when your head shot up in surprise he quickly added: “as a friend, don’t worry. you don’t do relationships.”

this boy was way too good for you, you knew that. but if it’d make him happy to get you a drink then you’d let him, of course you would.

“what do you want?”

“surprise me.”

surprise you he did when he came back with a berry frapino, explaining his choice with “it matches your vibe” and looking away in embarrassment at your incredulous expression. you hadn’t at all expected your vibe to be sweet and pastel, considering how you were the definition of an alt girl, facial piercings and studded belt and all, hair constantly dyed a bright, unnatural colour. you wanted to look intimidating, not like an easy target, never again, and so far you had succeeded. yet the sweet boy had decided that a pastel coloured berry frapino matched your vibe.

“it fits your vibe better”, you said finally, but took it anyway, smiling at him.

the two of you just sipped your drinks, sitting in somewhat awkward silence, but how could it not be awkward? you didn’t actually know each other, the only connection being that you happened to have spent a night together. that wasn’t really a great conversation starter.

“do you study?”, mingi spoke up after a few awfully quiet minutes, and you nodded.

“teaching. foreign language kindergarten teacher. you?”

“oh me too! teaching, i mean. maths and history for high school.”

you were surprised, though it fit him. he looked like the kind to be a good teacher, and if you left out that one night you’d met at a bar he did have somewhat of a nerdy vibe. still, it was nice to have something in common to talk about, and you quickly found that talking to him was fun, that it was really easy to just ramble on.

“y/n! break’s over!”

apparently the thirty minutes were already over - you hadn’t even noticed how much time had passed while talking to mingi, it felt more like ten, maybe.

“i have to go.” though you didn’t really want to. you knew you shouldn’t, most definitely shouldn’t because you’d just be getting his hopes up, but you thought he was nice, maybe even liked him a little bit, in the friend way.

“see you tomorrow?” fuck. his expression was so hopeful, you just couldn’t turn him down, even though the hopeful expression was all the more reason why you should turn him down. but you didn’t want to see him sad, not again, not after you’d fucked up so badly the first time you met him already.

“see you tomorrow.”

and though you quickly turned around to go back to work you didn’t miss the smile spreading on his face.

the sweet brunette soon became a regular, coming in whenever you were working (he’d still ask “see you tomorrow?” in that hopeful voice whenever your break was over, and that way he knew whether or not you’d be working the next day) and patiently waited for your break, leaving anywhen from ten minutes to an hour after you had to go back to work. he hadn’t yet gathered the courage to ask you if you’d like to really hang out with him sometime, outside of work where you couldn’t really escape, but today was the day, he decided.

“hey y/n!”

why did he always have to smile so sweetly whenever he saw you? it wasn’t like you’d done anything to deserve it.

“hey mingi”, and you smiled back before you could help it.

“i kind of have a question”, nervously, hands playing with the pages of the notebook he always brought.

“what is it?”

“would you like to hang out after work sometime? or when you have a day off?”

oh no… it seemed like your plan to not get his hopes up had failed miserably.

“mingi, you know i don’t-”

“i know”, the boy quickly interrupted, “it’s not a date. just hanging out where i don’t feel like you’re just talking to get me to buy more drinks. where you can run if you want to.”

he was so kind and cute, worrying that you might feel pressured, sending you an awkward, lopsided grin, that you just had to agree.

“friday? i don’t have work then.”

mingi’s entire face lit up, eyes two upward crescents as his smile almost made them disappear completely; he was such a genuine sweetheart and you wished you weren’t like this.

“friday! can i still come here until then or would you rather i don’t?”

“where else would you get latte art like this?”

he didn’t even order a latte, so this was a really weak argument, but it held up. it was more about knowing that you wouldn’t mind, which you’d shown with your reply. he seemed all happy and excited about that, and you felt the strong urge in you to protect him, even though he was quite a bit taller and most likely also stronger than you. but he still felt… pure, like life hadn’t tainted him yet, and though you knew you couldn’t prevent it from happening sooner or later you wanted to at least try to make it later rather than sooner.

the next two days were spent as the last few weeks had been, him spending your break with you and then leaving, except he shyly asked for your number on thursday, so you could agree on where and when to meet up and let the other know in case something got in the way. and he got it, of course, though it felt a little weird. you didn’t usually give your number out - it was meeting, going home, leaving, no need to share your number. but mingi wasn’t ‘usually’, something you didn’t know how to feel about.

nor did you know how to feel about the weird ping of anxiety you felt the next day as you got ready to meet the boy. he’d seen you in your party attire and in your work clothes, but what you regularly wore wasn’t exactly like either of those. “revealing” your style to him made you strangely nervous, but you tried to convince yourself that it wasn’t a big deal. it was just mingi, after all.

when you were ready you shot him a message saying that you were leaving now, asking where you were going so you’d know which subway to take.

[mingi]: its near centre

[mingi]: do you have pet allergies? food allergies?

a fairly odd combination of questions, but then again there was always the possibility that people would bring their pets to a café, which you assumed was where he was going to take you, so you told him that you didn’t before making your way to the train.

[y/n]: ill be there in 10. where do we meet?

[mingi]: im almost there, so ill wait in front of the station

and he was waiting, looking cosy and sweet as always, wearing a massive sweater and grinning at you brightly. his soft look made you feel a little weird, because it didn’t exactly match well with your all-black attire, but if he thought you looked odd he didn’t show it.

“hey!” excitement apparent in his voice, though the way he was standing looked a little awkward.

“hey, mingi.” and you smiled back at him, because you were happy to see him, actually.

“can i, uh, hug you? a hello hug? or is that weird”, he asked, the request making you understand why he looked like that - he didn’t know how to greet you, because this was a new environment and you’d never met up outside of work before.

“go ahead.”

he immediately did, pressing you against his chest shortly but tightly, the hug about as awkward as him but you didn’t mind. it felt nice, comfortable, and first now did you realise how long you hadn’t been hugged like this. you definitely had your reasons, but maybe a hug every now and then would be nice, still.

“ready to go?” his nervous enthusiasm had you thinking that if he started jumping up and down it wouldn’t even surprise you, but it was cute.

“where are you taking me?”

“surprise.” and without any further explanation he started half-jogging in the direction of his surprise, first slowing down when you complained that your legs were shorter than his and that you couldn’t keep up.

“sorry!”

but you couldn’t even pretend to be mad at him. and you definitely weren’t when you reached your destination - a cat café.

“i hope you like cats.” he was obviously anxious about your complete lack of reaction, just staring at the building while you were taking in his adorable choice of location.

“i’m more worried the cats won’t like me”, you joked, trying to calm his nerves because he really had no reason to be worried - you were glad to be there with him, even though you weren’t ready to think about why.

“but consider”, he countered as the two of you entered, “you’re the one with the treats.”

“not that convincing when you have treats, too.”

and in the short moment where you saw his face before he turned to pay the fee you saw something that looked like a flustered expression, causing a small smile to appear on your face without you noticing.

the smile hadn’t yet disappeared when your time with the cats was up, giving mingi the courage he needed in order to ask if you wanted to hang out a little longer. he suggested the movies, explaining that there was a fairly recent one he’d wanted to see, but really the main reason for his suggestion was that he hoped he’d feel a little less awkward if someone else did the talking and the entertaining.

“okay” was all you said in reply, not sure how much enthusiasm would be appropriate. not sure how exactly you felt about the situation, either; you wanted to spend more time with him, but you didn’t want to want that, so it left you conflicted.

he beamed at you, obviously not concerned in the slightest about how much enthusiasm was appropriate, near yelling “let’s go then!” - you thought that he was way too cute for your own good as he took off, stopping after a few steps as he remembered that your legs were definitely shorter than his.

“sorry, i keep forgetting”, he apologised with a sheepish smile, and you smiled back at him.

“just means i got a very prominent energy, doesn’t it?”

“probably does.”

you were still glad, though, when he did keep the difference in leg length in mind, walking at a pace that was easy for you to keep up with. the two of you joked and talked on the short walk to the cinema, and when you got there he told you briefly what the movie was about (to his knowledge, at least - he’d only seen the trailer), so that you could tell him if that wasn’t your kind of movies. he insisted on paying, with the reasoning that he’d dragged you here, and after several pouty “come on”s from him you finally agreed. he never got to the cash register, though, because you saw someone. someone you hoped you’d never have to see again, someone whose face you hoped you’d forgotten by now but actually hadn’t, probably never would.

fight, flight - freeze. you tensed up, gripping mingi’s arm suddenly, with a force that left him surprised. it hurt, admittedly, and he had no idea what on earth was wrong, but you weren’t even looking at him. you were staring somewhere in the room, him trying to follow your gaze and seeing you staring at a man that was currently queueing to get snacks.

“what’s up?”

you didn’t reply to his question, though; you hadn’t even fully registered that he’d asked something.

“let’s go.”

“but the movie-?”

“let’s go!” desperately trying not to yell so he wouldn’t see you, wouldn’t recognise you, but it was hard because you had to get out of there, had to convince mingi to get you out of there, and he seemed to really want to watch that fucking movie. you were half dragging him outside, hoping you hadn’t made a fuss, hoping you hadn’t caught his attention, but the fear was already bubbling up in you. you had to get home, right now, and you told the boy that.

“i’m going to bring you home.” it was a statement, not a question; there was no way he was going to let you take the train and walk to your apartment all by yourself when you looked like you were barely even there right now. and you didn’t protest, honestly didn’t care. you just had to get home.

by the time you were home it hadn’t gotten better, though, quite the opposite - your breathing was regular but shallow, you felt dizzy, and you kept replaying that night over and over in your head. you needed to do something, and there was only one thing you knew to do in those situations, so instead of thinking logically you turned to mingi, who had entered with you, determined to make sure you’d be okay, whatever the problem was.

“please fuck me.” you were desperate, wanted to erase the memories, wanted to erase the dirty feeling, wanted to erase every single one of the man’s touches, and you knew having someone else touch you would do that, at least for the moment. and mingi was the only one that was there.

“no.” stern. you’d never heard him sound as serious as this, even though he did look surprised by your suggestion. plea?

“just fuck me, mingi”, you begged again, but he wouldn’t. of course he wouldn’t, because you weren’t okay and he wasn’t going to touch you at all if you weren’t in your right mind. even if you asked him to.

“i’m not going to do that, y/n.”

and while you should be grateful that he had morals like this in that moment it just made you angry, unreasonably angry, and you snapped at him even though he’d done nothing to deserve it. even though he’d brought you home and made sure you were okay, without even knowing what was wrong. even though he was so sweet and you were so grateful for his kindness you snapped at him.

“then just fucking leave.”

so he did.

he didn’t come to your work after that. he didn’t text you, made no attempt to contact you. he was gone, because you’d fucked up again. because you’d wanted to use him again. you felt disgusting, guilty, horrible, and you’d hurt him. not just once, but twice. you didn’t deserve him, hadn’t deserved him right from the start, but you wanted to apologise, at least. even though it was selfish to want to contact him you wanted to tell him that it wasn’t him who was the problem, that the only problem was and had always been you. so, during yet another night that you were spending staring at the wall and hating yourself, you decided to text him.

[y/n]: please dont have me blocked

the few minutes between ‘received’ and ‘read’ were among the most torturous of your life. and when he replied, you felt more relieved than you’d expected.

[mingi]: what do you want

[mingi]: i wont fuck you again

and even though you knew you were a slut, objectively, hearing from him that he saw you that way now, too, hurt. a lot. you hadn’t felt this dirty in years.

[y/n]: can you call me

[y/n]: please

he didn’t want to. he was hurt, of course he was, and somewhat angry at both you and himself. you because you’d only agreed to meet him so you could get in his pants, and himself because he’d genuinely thought that maybe that wasn’t the reason for you meeting him. that maybe you liked him. but even though he didn’t want to, he still called you.

you picked up immediately, but then you didn’t know where to start. you didn’t know what to tell him. the explanations you owed him weren’t something you wanted to sort by phone, definitely not. you wanted him to come over and come clean about how fucked up you were because you did like him, you wanted to spend time with him for him and not for his dick, but that was most definitely not what he’d believe if you just asked him to come over again right away.

“y/n? are you there?”

the emotion in his voice wasn’t one you could place, one you recognised, and you wanted to fucking cry. this poor sweet boy. why was he even calling you? what had you done to deserve his kindness?

“i’m so fucking sorry, mingi.” your voice was cracking, tears starting to run down your cheeks, but you didn’t care to wipe them away. he couldn’t see them, anyway. even if he could, he probably wouldn’t care.

“you made it clear what you wanted. it’s not your fault that i thought maybe you’d actually like me, like as a person. not just for that.”

“it’s not fucking that, it’s- it’s more complicated, okay? but it’s not that.”

he didn’t know how to react. if it wasn’t that, then what was it? what other way was there to interpret “just fuck me”? it wasn’t exactly something to misunderstand.

“then what is it? i’m not some toy, y/n, so if you don’t do friendships either tell me now. don’t make both of us waste our time.”

you could tell he was angry, and you could tell he was hurt. and you could understand him, you could. you hadn’t treated him right.

“fuck, mingi, i can’t explain like this. this is probably the worst thing i could ask right now, but can you please come over? or i’ll come over or we’ll meet in public, just… i can’t tell you on the phone. don’t make me tell you on the phone.”

maybe it was the way you were sobbing into the line that made him ignore his doubts and his anger and his pain, because it was obvious that you weren’t feeling good either. or maybe he was just a fucking idiot that had fallen in love with someone he shouldn’t have, and now couldn’t fall out of love again. no matter what it was, he agreed.

“right now? i can come over, but promise… promise you won’t try that again if i do.”

“i promise.” it was barely audible, disrupted by sobs, but he understood you anyway, and he told you he’d be there soon. and before you had a chance to reply he hung up.

the time spent waiting for him was horrible, part of you expecting him to never actually come. but he did, he kept his promise, texting you that he was in front of your door now. he just couldn’t get himself to ring.

his expression had been cold for only a few seconds before he realised the sorry state you were in, softening immediately as he did so. that only made you hate yourself more - you’d hurt him, horribly so, made him feel like a toy for you to use, and still he looked at you with those soft eyes.

“you don’t deserve this”, you said as you moved to let him in.

“just explain.” he didn’t know whether to be angry or worried or hurt, but he knew he definitely wasn’t feeling good right now.

“i have issues.”

it was hard to start. you didn’t want to explain, you didn’t want to say it, you’d never actually admitted out loud what had happened. the hospital had known because it was obvious, because your mother had found you whimpering and hurt and bruised in your garden the next morning, not because you’d said anything. you’d never said anything. hadn’t described him, hadn’t aided in his prosecution, hadn’t done anything. had tried to pretend it never happened and that you didn’t care. the thought of saying it now made you panic, and you went to your night table where the little box of benzos was, taking one because you knew you’d need it. then you turned back to mingi, who was still looking at you with a weird expression.

“i fuck to forget. that’s why i usually try to make so sure i don’t take people home that haven’t done it before, because they deserve so much better than that for their first. you would’ve deserved so much better than that.”

taking in a deep breath. you had to say it now.

“i didn’t have that choice for my first and i… i don’t know how else to deal with things. besides fucking around and pretending that it doesn’t matter. i’m a fucking slut, mingi, i’m just a stupid fucking slut, and i-”

your sobs had taken over and you felt pathetic. you owed him an apology, not a breakdown. you owed him the option to get angry at you, to scream at you, but you knew he wouldn’t when you were crying like this - he was way too sweet for that. still, you couldn’t stand to look at him. you didn’t want to see the disgust that you knew would be clear on his face. he’d already sounded disgusted by your behaviour before, you didn’t want to imagine how much worse it would be now.

“can i hug you?”

did you hear right? had he really just offered to hug you, despite knowing what he knew?

“i don’t deserve it. i’m… you’re still clean.”

he had a feeling that trying to convince you that you weren’t dirty either would be a lost cause right now, so he didn’t.

“if i just do it anyway, will you let me?”

you didn’t have the energy to argue. part of you really wanted him to. you were selfish. so you said yes.

it only took a few seconds for him to wrap his arms around your shaking form and hold you tightly.

“i promise i wanted to meet you. i promise i just wanted to hang out, i promise, but i… i saw him and i didn’t know what to do and you were there and- and it’s not fucking fair and i’m sorry.” you were sobbing into his shirt and he finally understood. understood the change in behaviour, the way you were so different so suddenly.

“at the cinema?”

he felt you nod and only held you tighter. that did explain things, and he couldn’t even be mad at you anymore. he couldn’t imagine what that must have been like - of course it would shake you up.

“i don’t fucking want to be like this and i want to go on dates and fall in love but i can’t risk it, i can’t fucking risk it. if that turns shit too i have nothing anymore that could make up for it and who’d even want me anyway when i’m just a slut and when i’ve slept with half the campus and when i’ve never been in love and don’t even know how that works? who’d want a mess like this?”

maybe it was really bad timing to confess, maybe he really shouldn’t do it, but his mouth moved before his brain had the power to stop him.

“i would.”

“you’re angry at me. you hate me.”

“that’s not true.”

you chose to ignore it because you couldn’t think about that right now and because he’d probably only said it out of pity, anyway, instead continuing to say all the things you’d pretended you hadn’t been feeling for the past years.

“i just don’t feel like i have the right to do anything else anymore. i’ve already fucked up so bad and everything and i… who says i can just stop now and pretend it’s all good? how can i start making things matter when they’ve never fucking mattered before? i can’t just say ‘okay, the past hundreds haven’t mattered, but this one, this one’s going to matter’, that’s not how it works.”

“can you please look at me?”

in all honesty, the fact that he was listening surprised you, because you didn’t feel like it was something anyone else would care about. people didn’t care about how you felt, so why would he suddenly be the first? but it seemed like he was, because when you looked up at him he already had his eyes on you, with a softness in them that maybe calmed your broken heart just a little bit.

“i know you can’t pretend none of that happened, but it… it doesn’t have to be your first. none of that has to be. you can decide what counts, what requirements there are. you’re still young, you can start over, even if you’ve messed up before. you can just try again. it’s okay.”

his hand was running up and down your back soothingly now and you wanted to stay like that until he’d rubbed all your worries away, because you felt like if he just kept going long enough he might be able to.

“i’m just scared.” you were still crying, but now it was silent tears running down your cheeks rather than the broken, body-shaking sobs from earlier. “i want to be in love but i don’t know how it works. i don’t know if i can. i kind of gave up on that, buried that dream of a family and a picket-fence life and whatever people paint as love and just… accepted i wouldn’t have that. what if i can’t have that?”

“you’ll find someone that’s going to give you all that”, he told you before pulling your head back to his shoulder and keeping his warm hand on your hair, an action that made you feel small but incredibly safe, but that he’d mainly done so you wouldn’t see his face now. he wasn’t intending on getting you to give him a chance or anything, he just wanted to let you know that you weren’t as much of a lost cause as you thought you were, but he still didn’t exactly want you to be staring at him when he was being emotional and embarrassing.

“you just have to give it a try. if you managed to make me fall for you when you kept telling me you don’t even do relationships, i bet you won’t be able to save yourself from all the admirers once you let down your walls a little bit.”

again, you didn’t know what to say. you’d guessed he’d liked you, in the beginning, but with the way he’d been ghosting you (and mainly the way you’d treated him and all the issues you had) you’d thought whatever feelings there were had disappeared. apparently they hadn’t, though, and it was a little hard to figure out how you felt about that. you didn’t want to hurt him again, and in all honesty you didn’t feel like you were in the right headspace to think about this without making hasty decisions. you most definitely had to calm down first.

“you’re tired.”

he wasn’t, actually, but when you got out from his embrace in order to sit on the bed instead, back against the wall, he guessed it was a way to cuddle without having to say that you were cuddling, without having to ask him to cuddle, and he was happy to comply.

it surprised both of you how readily you put your head on his shoulder and wrapped your arms around him, but neither said anything. this wasn’t the situation to say anything. it was the situation for silence and giving you time.

“how do you know if you’re in love?” the way your voice was so soft and curious and still all quiet from crying made mingi feel a little like he was explaining love to a child, except he was explaining it to the person that made him feel all these things.

“for me, i want to spend time with the person. all the time. i get sad if i don’t see them. even if we’re just sitting in the same room doing our own thing, or eating together, doesn’t matter. i always want to see them. and when i do, it makes me happy. they don’t even need to do anything, i’m smiling. and i want them to smile, too, want them to be happy. so if i know something that makes them happy, i try to do that. and i pay attention to the small details, like how you really seem to like that berry frapino. and then i daydream about that all the time, even though it’s silly. but i think for me a big sign is that when they notice something about me, when they say something about me that i hadn’t noticed, or when they associate something with me, then i get really happy whenever that thing comes up. even if i didn’t care about it earlier, now it just feels really special. they could say they like how red compliments my eyes and i’d be wearing red nonstop, just because they like it and i like them so i like it, too. it’s all really cheesy, though.”

the sweet boy seemed embarrassed, but you were somewhat deep in thought as you let his description run through your mind. you’d been happy whenever he was at the café, and almost hoped you’d get more shifts so you wouldn’t have to tell him you wouldn’t be working the next day. even though he was mainly just watching you work, ordering a drink every now and then, it had been nice to know he was sitting there. always scribbling in that little notebook he had, tapping his pencil against the top edge of it when he seemed stuck, twice per second (had you counted? you didn’t remember that), a regular speed, and you’d imagined that little tap tap when you were home working on your assignments, having noticed that you’d picked the twice a second-tapping habit up as well. and the berry frapino he’d mentioned - of course it tasted good, you’d tried it before, but it tasted better ever since he told you it matched your vibe, so you’d found yourself getting it even when he wasn’t around. looking back at all this, it meant…

“oh.”

not exactly the reaction he’d expected. he looked at you quizzically, urging you to elaborate.

“i guess i’m in love? but i’m not really a good fit for you.”

“how do you mean?” if you were going to tell him that he deserved better than someone with your past again even though he just told you that it didn’t matter to him…

“you’re cute. like, really cute. and i’m pretty much the opposite.”

not at all what he’d expected, and it almost made him laugh. you were worried about aesthetics?

“remember the frapino? the one i keep getting for you.”

“of course.” how could you not when it filled you with a weird warmth even though it was a cold drink?

“i meant it when i said it matches your vibe. you’re cute, too. i know you’re trying not to be, and you don’t look the part, but you’re cute.”

“hm.” you were trying to figure out your thoughts and what you wanted to do, how you wanted to proceed, because the thought of being with him wasn’t as scary as the thought of being with anyone else, but you didn’t want to accidentally lead him on and let him down again.

“what if i wanted to do relationships? or, one relationship. with you?”

he lifted his head in surprise, you could feel it because his cheek was no longer pressed against your hair, but there was no way you were going to remove your head from his shoulder.

“you do?”

you couldn’t tell what he was feeling, his voice coloured by an emotion you didn’t recognise, didn’t know how to place. so, naturally, you got scared he’d been all talk and no action, didn’t like you enough to want to actually be with you. still, you hummed in confirmation, though once more refusing to look at him as you did so.

“you’re not rushing yourself because you’re scared you won’t get another chance, are you? because you’ll get plenty, you don’t have to settle for the next-best thing, you-”

he never got to finish whatever irrational thoughts he was having, because you finally looked up, looked at him sternly, and told him: “you’re not the next-best thing. don’t even think that.” then, your head went straight back to his shoulder, because this was both scary and embarrassing.

“if you want to do relationships...”, mingi started, “if you really want to-”

you nodded against him to show that you did really want to, and he continued.

“if you really want to, we can do that. but i’ll take you out on dates, no objections.”

now you tensed up a little, because the prospect of real dates complete with feelings and everything was kind of making you anxious, still.

“objections?” of course he’d felt your body tense, you were stupid to think he wouldn’t, and that it wouldn’t make him doubt.

“no objections. just… slow?”

it felt kind of ridiculous that you were nervous about going on dates when you’d not been nervous about doing what usually came after dates at all. but there’d never been feelings involved, so there’d never been feelings that could have been hurt. maybe that was why this was so much scarier.

“as slow as you want. but can i see you on campus?”

“mhm.” his neck was just way too warm and soft to lift your head and give a decent reply, it wasn’t your fault.

“i’ll bring you lunch. and little notes. it’s a little late for high school romance, but you’re not gonna miss out on all the embarrassing cutesy things.”

maybe looking at him would be worth lifting your head. maybe. you wouldn’t know until you tried.

“you can cook?”

“well, no”, and his awkward smile was so cute that for the first time, you wouldn’t mind if someone kissed you, because you felt it in you that he wouldn’t ever hurt you - he looked like he couldn’t hurt a fly, “but i’m very good at buying food. one of my redeeming qualities.”

the look you gave him was one of absolute adoration and his heart beat so hard that he could physically feel it bang against his chest. he wanted you to be his, and he wanted to be yours. maybe that was the case already, but he wanted one hundred percent certainty.

“are you doing a relationship? are we doing a relationship?”

you wanted to get rid of his uncertainty immediately, but there was also something else on your mind, and you knew this would be the easiest way to bring it up without chickening out, which you very likely would later.

“if i say yes, does that mean you’re going to kiss me?”

mingi didn’t know whether you wanted him to or whether it would be a dealbreaker, but either way his reply would have been the same.

“only if you want me to.”

“yes.”

“yes you want me to or yes we’re doing a relationship?”

he was embarrassed, you were embarrassed, the situation was incredibly awkward, and instead of “both”, as you’d intended to answer, you just told him “yes” again.

“you can always tell me to go slower, or stop”, he told you, trying to stop the happy grin at least until he was sure that you’d understood. when you nodded, there was no holding it back, though, and he quickly leaned in to give your cheek a sweet peck.

“that wasn’t what i meant”, you almost whined out when he was looking at you again, although he was avoiding your eyes.

“i know. but your piercings kind of scare me”, he admitted, obviously at least slightly embarrassed.

“scare you?”

“yeah, like… what if i get stuck and hurt you or something?”

how was he so sweet?

“you’re an angel.”

“my mum says that too.” why on earth had he said that? that was a one hundred percent fool-proof way to embarrass himself. but maybe it was worth it, because a small chuckle escaped your mouth, something neither he nor you had expected.

“she’s right. now kiss me. if ramen don’t get stuck you won’t either.” you didn’t have to tell him that ramen did get stuck - that would be your little secret. at least until experience had proven that he wouldn’t get stuck, because he was very much not ramen-shaped.

he still seemed a little hesitant, and you were about to laugh when you finally felt his lips on yours. you didn’t know how to describe the feeling you got when he did so, but it was a good one. he was warm and soft and though your noses had bumped for just a moment because you had absolutely zero idea what you were doing it felt… perfect. maybe the nose-bumping had played a part in that, too, because it felt so normal and human and authentic, not like something from a movie. it felt genuine, and that was the best thing about it. the way your hands were nervously moving from somehow awkwardly squished in between the two of you to his upper arms to his neck to his face, the way you kind of just let him do the moving and only parted your lips slightly so he could do whatever one did while kissing, the way his breath kind of tasted like pizza - which you assumed had been his dinner -, it all felt so perfectly normal and flawed in all the best ways that you couldn’t have been happier.

“regret it already?”, the sweet boy - your sweet boy? - asked you when he pulled away, half joking and half scared that you did regret it, but there was no way you ever would.

“only if you don’t do it again”, you informed him, and the smile that spread on his face at your reply was able to outshine the sun, if you were the one to judge.

“so i’m a good kisser?”

sillyhead.

“it’s not like i can judge, i don’t have any standard to compare it to”, you teased, because he’d teased you first and because you were happy and the happiness made you do things you normally wouldn’t.

“you don’t need to have tried a good kimchi to know when someone’s made a bad kimchi!”, he protested, and now you laughed, really laughed, not just a small chuckle.

“you’re saying you’re good kimchi?”

“i’m not saying, i’m implying.”

the way he was so cute and so silly and so sweet only made you fall in love more. in love. you were in love with him, almost hopelessly so.

“but i don’t really like meat, what do we do then?”

what he said next made you reconsider if he maybe wasn’t just a bit too silly, though.

“i bet there’s plenty people that would beg to differ.”

“mingi!”

he hadn’t thought a lot before saying it, just seeing it as a normal tease, but when you called out his name like that he got worried that he’d accidentally crossed a line. he was relieved to see you grinning, although you did look like you were about to playfully hit his arm.

“sorry, love”, hoping that the pet name would make up for it. and it did, because your expression changed into one of happy surprise.

“love?” as if you couldn’t believe it.

“love. or darling, baby, angel, sweetheart, i can probably think of more.” though this was him teasing you he most definitely would try to think of more, because you were his love and he wanted you to know even when you were just casually talking.

he didn’t get a reply, instead he got you dropping yourself over his lap in an attempt to have your head reach your pillow. now you were genuinely tired, and you wanted to sleep; though the day had ended well it had been among the most exhausting you’d had in quite a while.

“want to sleep, love?”

if he kept calling you love you’d probably have to get a pacemaker, because there was no way your heart skipping a beat or speeding up every single time he said it was healthy in the long run.

“yes, so come lay down.”

“you want me to stay the night?”

his surprise left you a little uncertain. was that not something you did with your partner? you were incredibly, awkwardly unaware of the rules, so you had no idea whether or not you’d just implied something that hadn’t been your intention to imply.

“if you want?” your face was hidden in your pillow, refusing to look at whatever negative expression might maybe be on his face, but you had no reason to worry, because he just pushed you a little closer to the edge of the bed so he’d fit in next to you, wrapping his arm around your waist and pulling you tight.

“i move a lot in my sleep, just a warning”, he mumbled into your hair, “and no funny business.” he knew the reasons for your funny business and was fairly certain you weren’t exactly a fan of funny business anymore, or that was the impression he’d gotten, but there was still a little part of him that was anxious. he had no reason to be anymore, though.

“no funny business until marriage”, you assured as you tried to move your face as close as possible to his chest because you wanted to feel his heartbeat, and though neither of you could see the other’s face you both wore the same expression of complete content and love.

52 notes · View notes

guigz1-coldwar · 4 years ago

Text

'Reunion' : New chapter of "Redemption of a Spirit in a Cold War" is out

'Reunion'

Chapter Summary : Bell is finally reunited with Park after 3 years, separated from her......

Words : +3000

To read it on AO3, click here !

----------------------------------

It took me.....6....long.......days before I was able to return to West-Berlin. 3 days where I was roaming around Moscow, trying to find out about who I was and what I needed to do for the future. 2 days spent traveling either by foot or by car the Polish countryside with my head wrapped in some bandages helped by the CIA first team and then 1 day been back in East-Germany before entering West-Berlin, the first time after 3 years before getting myself out of the CIA's second team control over me during these 3 days.

After that, part of my thoughts were divided between thinking that everything around me was just an big dream as I was maybe still in that hospital bed in Moscow, dreaming, freaking out and talking alone with my eyes closed while someone tried to calm me down. Maybe I died at Solovetsky but in the other hand, I was thinking that it was the reality and everything showed me that I was really alive and well. I survived getting shot from multiple persons and no matter how many time I spent to recover, I'm still here.

My objectives were easy to say but very hard for me to believe that it could be done especially the most important one for me : get back to Park. I was fearing that moment when I was getting closer of the safehouse and at each step, I knew that I wasn't able to step back from it and that I needed to continue to walk to get on the safehouse rooftop and to observe inside of it. I couldn't go back, not after what I did. Each second I was looking inside the safehouse, I was hoping to not get an panic attack at Adler's sight and I succeeded to not have one.

Then.....I saw her....I saw Park again after three years. The last time I saw her well was before I left the extraction point at Solovetsky with Adler and I remember what the last thing I told to her before my departure : that I love her so much. I promised to myself that I will return to her side once the mission was done and I wasn't able to fullfill that promise because of Adler, leaving me for dead but now after three years and everything that happened to me, that promise came back as my first objective.

Once Adler decided to leave the safehouse with the others, I knew that I needed to enter that safehouse again and see her again in person. When I entered the safehouse, I was so in pression about doing this in reality and when I saw cry at her desk, that pression became so much for much to carry and I fell on my knee before repeating part of her letter she addressed to me. She then saw me there and she realized that I was alive and really in front of her, causing both of us to get in each other arms, crying.

I didn't know how much time we could have stay like that but the most important thing is that I was back in her arms again. Getting touched by her was so.....pleasant, something that I missed since I woke up : real recomfort for me. At one moment, we get forehead against forehead, no more crying but still our eyes full with tears.

"H-How ?" She first said after minutes of crying, her voice filled with emotions. "I thought.." She lost her words, emotion taking over her

"Me too, I thought that I died too." I guessed what she was going to say, using the same voice she used

"What happened ?" She asked, worried

"I....Adler....he left me for dead....Coma for three years." I replied, taking a breath between each cut. She looked at me and was focused on the scar I had on my head,

"That it was he did to you ?" She passed her left hand through my hair covering the scar, I nodded.

"He....said to me that I was a hero and then, he shot me." I looked at her, getting my eyes from the ground as she was slowly getting her fingers moving along the scar "He lied to you !" I exclaimed in anger "He knew that the bullet didn't kill me."

"What do you mean ?" She stopped to move her fingers, letting them nonetheless on the scar

"Belikov.....he told me things : he said that you went on a mission with Adler in an hospital to recover one of his contacts in April 1981." I took a deep breath "That's when he learned that I survived."

"That's....that's right !" She said, looking away from me, realizing something "I should have noticed that something was wrong when I saw Adler doing things on his own." She looked back at me "I should have be more cautious, I was so stupid to believe him."

"Park." I whispered in a very low voice, wanting her to stop blaming herself

"I should have look further about you !" She was getting more nervous and on the verge of crying again "I should have come with you that day, I should have....."

"Park." I repeated again but this time, with a clear voice, cutting her. "I...I'm here, I'm back." I said, trying to stay positive despite all the negative thoughts I had in my mind.

"You're right." She grinned at me, catching her breath after the stress she got in a instant. "You came back." She added, her voice full of happiness "I can't believe it."

"You know..." I started before smirking at her, trying to make a joke "I wanted to kick that guy in the nuts when he talked bad of you." I laughed

"You see me doing that ?" She asked, curious, getting her both arms on my shoulder and I smiled, giving to her a 'yes'

"You were great !" I added but then I start to be a little bit sad "When I saw Adler, I was so....angry, I wanted to do it but then, I hear you." I got closer to her "I resisted because I remembered that I was here again to see you."

"For me ?" She said with wide eyes.

"I came back for you.....only you !" I replied before I start to smile. She reciprocated the smile before starting to get up,

"Bell, I....do you want to come with me ?" She asked, handing her right hand over to me and I complied, giving my hand and she help me to get up.

"I just need some recomfort with you." I whispered to her as she got me up and then, she started to walk away with me, our hands together as she lead the way.

I was curious at first but I was getting calm when she was walking and leading me towards the dorm and then entering it before she closed the door. Then, she still lead me until we arrived at the bed she was using. Once we were near it, she looked at me with lovely eyes before she start to remove my jacket and the backpack that I used for days before letting it on the ground and looking back at me again, getting closer to me. At this moment, I decided to get closer to her too and then, I leaned myself to do something I missed.

I decided to kiss her after all these times on the lips, closing my eyes, thinking again about us.....just us and nothing else. During the kiss, I put my hands on the side of her neck and then, she put her arms around my waist as she reinforced the kiss. I could feel her emotions inside of me....and tears restart to be flowing from my eyes, overtaken by my own gestures with her. When I broke the kiss and opened my eyes again, I could see that she was so happy and catching her breath.

She was so beautiful and.....and I was so happy with her. I wanted to continue the kiss but right now, my body was getting so tired of itself and I decided to get on her bed, lying down on it before she decided to join me, letting her get in too. She put her arms around me as I put my head on her chest, my arms holding her too.

"Yirina...." I started after we didn't talk during this long minutes after we joined the dorm "My name is Yirina Grigoriev."

"That's...." She passed her hands through my hair "It's beautiful."

"I'm getting my memories back everyday and...." I get myself comfortable on the bed and for her too"And even if it's helping me getting better about myself, it give more questions about who I am in reality." I sniffed, thinking about talking of that with her in person

"I'm happy with that." She said, getting her arms well around me

"I wrote each of my memories in a book.....I even got memories from my time in here !" I told her, feeling her nice skin with my hand

"And how are these memories ?" She asked, sounding curious.

"Good and bad.....mostly good for me." I replied sure of my answer "I had friends back in my old days, friends I saw as family."

"It must be hard for you." She exclaimed

"Yes, I want to know what happened to them but only time can give me my answers." I tried to look at her but I preferred to keep my head on her chest before I put my right hand above it "I saw them as my real family....like I saw you.....and Lazar." Mentioning his name....I shouldn't have done that because I started to cry again "I'm sorry !"

"It's okay, Yirina." She said, surprising me inside but still crying, she maybe realized that 'Yirina' was better than 'Bell'.

"I could have save him too." I continued to cry on her chest as she moved to get comfortable with me. "I don't want to lose you."

"I'm here now, you came back for me." She admitted but even with that, my tears was still getting out.

"I can't....I can't afford to lose you." I added before I close my eyes and somehow, she felt it,

"It's okay, I'm here." She said in a low voice as I started to feel of passing out on her.

My whole body was so exhausted right now, I just needed some sleep after all this reunion I had with her and I was so happy and so relieved to finally be able to get myself back with her after 6 days coming back from a long coma. I knew this night was the beginning of something new : this time, I wasn't going to sleep alone. I was going to sleep with her at the same place I used to work years ago. I couldn't think of anything else right now. My thoughts were so focused on her because I succeeded my first objective.

And now, I could finally feel myself free before my eyes shut down for good and I started to fall asleep on her, knowing that she will stay here for me and I will stay here for her. We got 3 years to catch on and I hope I can stay with her as long as I can. It's the only thing in long-term I want : stay with her, no matter the cost for a long time. Right now, I was back at dreaming again and hopefully, it was something good.....

"You didn't tell her, right ?" That was the voice of Lazar next to me as I was leaned against his desk as Park was getting away to walk to the Dark Room before closing the door. I was still focused on seeing Park leaving that I didn't hear much of Lazar like it was just a little voice in my head. Everyone was in their corner in the safehouse as me & Lazar were talking.....well, I was dreaming and him, trying to talking to me

"Earth to Bell, Earth to Bell, can you respond ?" He added, before nudging my shoulder and make me regain consciousness of the situation.

"What ? What ?" I said, shaking my head to be back again before I look at him "Something's wrong ?" I asked

"Yes." He replied, rolling his eyes to me "You."

"Me ?" I leaned backwards, narrowing my eyes. "What's wrong about me ?"

"I said that you didn't tell her your affection." He said, getting his hand on my shoulder.

"To who ?" I asked, so naive.

"How much time you were out, Bell ?" He nudged me back a little on the shoulder, hurting me a little "About Park." He exclaimed, a bit loud,

"Hey, not so loud, damnit." I told him, looking around, seeing if anyone was having their eyes on us but there were just Sims and no Adler in sight "I already told you that I don't want to talk loudly about my sexual orientation with the others around."

"I know." He apologized "It's just that you were dreaming very deeply for like what ? 2 minutes ?"

"Yeah, I was dreaming about Park, if it's that you wanted to know." I looked at him before looking at where the Dark Room was "And to answer you, I didn't do it."

"Come on Bell, I told you that before 2 days ago." He started, leaning on his desk "You need to tell her."

"I'm just fearing her reaction." I responded before I sniffed "I'm not sure...."

"You need to do this, it will torture you long enough before you could have a chance." He grinned a little, cutting me. "Believe me, today is your day." He then showed to me to look around "Take your chance when Adler's not around."

"Hm..." I put my hand of my chin to think before I looked at the Dark Room "You're right, I think it's time."

"So, go on and tell her !" He ordered me with a good voice as I moved away from the desk

"Don't worry, I will.....before you throw something at me !" I said, trying to joke.

"You know well that I alert you each time before I do that." He joked too, giving me a nodding before I start to walk away from his desk.

My body was feeling all nervous, my mind.....also damn nervous than before as I walked to get to the Dark Room where Park was. When I arrived near the door of it, I take a last look to Lazar, still having his eyes on me and I could see him winking from that far and I winked in return with an small grin before I opened the door. When I enter the Dark Room, I saw that I surprised Park, giving her an scare before she looked at me, relieved that it was me and not someone else

"Oh, that's you, Bell !" She said, looking at me with her hands posed on the table behind her "You could have knocked, you know."

"Sorry." I excused myself before closing the door "Laz' said you maybe need a few extras hands to help you." I added, looking at her

"Thanks for the help but I just finished with what I needed to do." She smiled at me before seeing my look "Something's wrong ?"

"I...I wanted to know how you're feeling right now." I asked while I bit my bottom lip, anxious

"Well, I'm good even if I was shot by an sniper. Lazar said you have done everything to save me and.....I thank you entirely for that." She replied, crossing her arms "He told me that you were nervous about seeing me in that state and that's okay, I'm good." She added, putting her left hand on her wait and keeping the other above where she was shot "Still hurt a little."

"Yes, I was so panicked at that moment." I raised an eyebrow to her before looking at my hands "I can still see some of your blood on my hands."

"Hey, I'm okay, Bell." She said as she decided to take my hand in hers left one, surprising me. "You saved me."

"I...I need to tell you something, Park." I decided to get closer to her....to her surprise. "Since I arrived here.....and after East-Berlin, I realized that.....shit, I don't know how I can tell you." I looked away in shame.

"Tell me what ?" She asked in a curious....and lovely voice.

"Park....I'm in love with you !" I responded, damn sure of my answer and her eyes went wide at hearing this. "I realized that I'm crazy for you....and you've been in my dreams in each night after we met."

"Really ?" She was stunned and surprisely, she was taking this good.

"I don't know how you feel about me but this is how I feel about you, I know that Adler want us to keep professional but...." I cut myself before taking a breath "But you're someone so beautiful, so careful and.....someone I'm loving from the bottom of my heart."

"Bell, I....." She started, locking her eyes on me.....before she moved to get closer to me and give me a kiss on the lips by surprise, putting her hands on my face and my eyes went very wide, looking at her kissing me with her eyes closed. Then, I closed my eyes and put my arms around her, realizing that my feelings were reciprocal to her. After one minute, she decided to broke the kiss.

"Wow." I exclaimed

"I'm in love with you too." She admitted, giving me another kiss on the cheek and getting her arms on my shoulder "Since I saw you arrive with Adler the first day."

"I never expected that...you will share my feelings." I grinned

"I was always sharing them with you." She replied with a smile as she hold me "You're so kind to me and you make me so happy."

"At that point ?" I asked, mixed between joking and not joking

"I always thought that I was never going to get the chances with you but you did it first and now, I could feel more happier now." She responded

"I can thanks Laz' for that." I laughed and she followed me in that

"Yes." She then removed herself from me, her smile still present "We will have to be aware with Adler, he doesn't like people to get emotionally involved....and also that kind of relationship between us now." He pointed at me & herself.

"I know....I know Adler's opinion about it." I looked at the door "But still, I'm going to love you no matter what Adler's going to say to me or you." She nodded with an big smile

"I know you will and you know I will." She breathed a little, knowing that a new step has been crossed

"I think we will have more time tonight if you want as I need to get back to work." I started before starting to walk back to open the door.

"We will, don't worry." She replied with a lovely face. I was so happy to be with her now and I can thanks Lazar for helping me with that. I looked at her with an good voice and putting my hand on my heart,

"I love you, Park."

#black ops cold war #bocw #call of duty cold war #cod cw #cod black ops cold war #cod cold war #fanfic #fem!bell #helen park

8 notes · View notes

thephantomofthe-internet · 5 years ago

Text

Read into Me Chapter 5: Romeo and Juliet

Steve Harrington x Reader

CATCH UP ON THE SERIES HERE

Words: 2,955

Warnings: Swearing, slut shaming, bullying mention

Tag List: @divinity-deos @thecaptainsgingersnap @wolfish-willow @scoopsohboi @herre-gud-nej @clockworkballerina @maddie1504 @i-am-trash-so-much-its-scary @banjino-in-the-hole @buckysarge @wildcvltre @stanleyyelnatsiii @unusuallchildd @n3wtscaseofniffler5 @peterparxour @alwaysstressedout @linkispink1995 @asharpkniffe @a-big-ball-of-idk @used-avocado @mochminnie @sledgy14 @the-creative-lie @yall-wildin-like-siriusly @ggclarissa

After that afternoon, you spent practically every day after school with Steve, either in his bedroom or the library. It was weirdly nice. You didn’t always talk; mostly you worked in silence, Steve answering English questions or doing work for other classes and you doodling. You’d finished the sketch of Steve you’d started in his bedroom the same night you’d started it. You were actually quite proud of it; you’d managed to get the shadows on his face to make his face look hollow and strange, not beautiful like it usually appeared. And yes, you were comfortable with calling him beautiful. You found a lot of your subjects beautiful, they all fit into an easy collection of strong, attractive faces that could be found in Hawkins. Hawkins Most Beautiful: the collections of portraits labelled themselves.

Steve called you fairly often as well; usually on the days when you didn’t meet up he’d call so he’d have someone to keep him company as he worked. He seemed lonely to you. From your conversations, you learned little of his supposed friends, but you learned a fair bit about his family. Both his parents were rarely home. His father worked in the city and kept an apartment there, keeping him as far away from home as possible most of the time. His mother was home more often, but kept her hours in certain places, leaving him home alone most of the time. So it seemed, he was ignored past the age of twelve. You sympathized with that, your own parents weren’t exactly present, albeit for different reasons. He asked you a lot about Samantha, which didn’t bother you; you could talk about her far more than you could yourself.

“I can’t honestly say that I even really know her…” Steve laughed. You were sat in his bedroom one evening, the sun setting in creamy red swirls, ominous strawberry pieces in homemade ice cream. Sweet and yet worrying for reasons beyond you for the time being. You were sat at his desk, leaning back in his desk chair, turning left and right. Steve was sprawled out on his mattress, feet kicking beyond him casually, his papers spread out in front of him.

“Yeah, she doesn’t really associate with some of your friends. Tina isn’t really our biggest fan…” you replied, smiling softly. The memory of Samantha dumping a miniature carton of chocolate milk on her head in the seventh grade flashed through your mind, her shrill screech making you chuckle.

“Oh yeah? What’s up her ass?” Steve asked, turning onto his side to look at you fully. He looked incredibly posed and uncomfortable, his head placed in his palm and his ankles stacked neatly one on top of the other.

“They used to be best friends, before I showed up. Once I was on the scene, Tina decided that I was someone to bully and Samantha decided that she wanted to be my friend. They fell out because of it and Tina started bothering both of us. She stopped once we were in middle school.” You explained, pulling one of your knees to your chest.

“Tina’s a bitch…” Steve muttered, shaking his head solemnly.

“She’s got such a thing for you.” You chuckled, watching as his face coloured. You continued “Vicki too…they want you so bad.”

“How’d you know?” Steve scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. His face was still pink, it was almost adorable.

“Oh my god, they spend every class with their heads so far up your ass!” you linked your fingers together and pulled them under your chin. You batted your lashes at him with wide eyes, starting into an imitation of Tina “Oh…Stevie, tell me more about your basketball game…oh Stevie you’re soooo strong!”

Steve pulled the pillow from the head of his bed, throwing it at your head. “Oh shut up!” he groaned. You caught the pillow, chucking it back at him, smacking him square in the face.

Steve was great to hang out with. But that sort of friendship didn’t seem to transition outside the privacy of his bedroom. In school, the rules of social interaction began again. Steve returned to the arms of Tommy H and Carol, whose attentions flip between him and Billy Hargrove, and Samantha kept you busy with her questions, her arm wrapped tightly around your shoulders, squeezing you tightly into your side. And every time you passed Steve, she cracked a joke in your ear that turned you beet red.

In truth, it was clear that Samantha did not believe you when you told her that nothing was going on between the two of you. She had already decided that the pair of you were in some sort of torrid affair of Shakespearian depths. She seemed to earnestly believe that it was some secret, clandestine romance was happening behind closed doors. You didn’t really understand what she was imagining; it didn’t make sense to you. Steve was far too obviously interested in other people to be doing anything with you. You tried to point out all the girls who hung off his arm whenever she tried to embarrass you about it, but she didn’t see it.

“What you’re missing,” she said through a massive bite of cafeteria shepherd’s pie “Is that all those girls pay attention to him, but he doesn’t pay attention to them.”

“If we were having an affair, don’t you think that I would tell you about it? I tell you everything anyway.” You retorted, rolling your eyes at her.

“You didn’t tell me about Byers until I weaseled it out of you. That’s what I’m doing right now.” Samantha replied with a shrug, mushing her meal together with her plastic fork until it was a disgusting shade of brown, golden corn accenting the pile.

Talking about Jonathan Byers wasn’t fair and she knew it. In short, there was nothing to talk about. You’d had a small, teeny tiny practically nonexistent crush on the boy a year prior, but it was very clear that he didn’t like you back. Samantha had gone to Tina’s party in October, right as your crush was subsiding, and she’d told you that he was all over Nancy Wheeler. You’d had your suspicions about it, but hearing that he’d gone after someone else’s girlfriend and rejected you along the way hurt. Even though you weren’t interested, it still hurt. Samantha was still annoyed that you hadn’t told her about it until it was over, and since it was the only source of knowledge she had on your comatose love life, she brought it up all the time, much to your chagrin.

“All I do with him is sit in his room and help him study. And when I say help him study, I mean literally help him study, we do the chapter studies together and discuss the stupid book.” You said. That wasn’t the whole story; you talked a lot about life and listened to music. You were confident in saying that you were friends by now. You’d almost met his mother twice, both times in passing, and that seemed pretty important to friendships, when their family knew who you were. Still, it didn’t break into school. Steve stayed with his clique and while you tried to stray from yours, Carol or Tina would always scare you off before you spent too much time with Steve. It didn’t take much to scare you, a mere gaze could send you packing, and those two had been mastering the annoyed sneer since the fifth grade.

“Yeah, well you don’t see what I see…” Samantha muttered, turning her attention away from you and onto the loud clique at the centre of the room. Billy Hargrove was show boating, as usual, with Tina and Macy practically drooling onto their lunch trays. Vicki was trying to get Steve’s attention, her thin, spidery fingers gripping onto his wrists, speaking animatedly into his ear. Steve wasn’t facing her though; his whole body was turned away from her, and directly towards your table. Samantha noticed how he watched where you went, it’s why she thoroughly believed that something was going on beyond the surface, something even you might not realize. She knew what a person looked like when they were love struck. Often times, from the outside, it was easier to see when someone was in love with someone else before she could catch onto who actually liked her. She’d watched the women she yearned for fall in love with boring, lame men enough times to have mastered the signs of how men fall for girls. And Steve showed all the non-verbal signs. She couldn’t get a full read on you yet though.

Tommy had caught onto to Steve’s strange behaviour just as fast as Samantha had, although he wasn’t nearly as impressed. You were simply not worth the effort. Not by a long shot. You were fucking lame-never at the parties, never at dances, never at the lake on the weekends. And he knew you had money, you could afford to do all those things, you were just too much of a pussy to show your face. That was fucking pathetic! He knew his friend better than anyone else and a chick who couldn’t hang was not the girl for him. Steve liked fun girls, girls who could turn up for a last minute thing and not be weird about it. Nancy Wheeler was the farthest Steve needed to go on the preppy nerd scale, and that bitch ended up being a massive slut! Like nobody expected that shit. But Tommy knew that you didn’t have any surprises up your sleeves. Despite the fact that you never talked, he knew that you were plain about who you were. Everything was on the surface, and what he saw was not worth his friend’s time.

“Steve, buddy, I’m gonna go get another milk, walk with me.” Tommy motioned him over. Steve followed blindly, if only to get Vicki’s cold, clammy hand off him. Tommy had seen The Godfather one too many times and seemed to believe that he was some sort of small town mob boss, but Steve didn’t really mind following along with him flights of fancy. Usually they were pretty funny.

Tommy wrapped an arm around his taller friend’s shoulders, lowering his voice from the onlooker’s ears. “Listen, buddy, you gotta tell me what’s going up with that Y/N chick I mean you just keep staring at her it’s freaking weird, dude.”

“Y/N? She’s my writing partner for Lawrence’s class, she’s cool…” Steve replied, turning to catch your eye as they passed. He smiled at you, giving a short wave, which you returned with a small smile.

“She’s cool? That all?” Tommy pressed, stepping into the line and grabbing a carton of strawberry milk and the largest chocolate chip cookie in the basket. He unwrapped his arm from his shoulders, letting him go free for the first time in the conversation.

“Yeah, I mean she’s nice, what else do you want me to say?” Steve knew that was being a little defensive, but he didn’t like being questioned for his choices in friends or girls, he never questioned Tommy’s choices and he made the worst decisions most of the time. Carol was no prize and he didn’t say a word about her.

“You fucking her?” if Steve had had anything in his mouth, he would’ve spit it on the floor. Tommy didn’t even turn to look at him, paying the lunch lady in change.

“Jesus, dude, no.” Steve cried, recoiling from his friend. Tommy needed to get hit and while he didn’t have cause to do so yet, he firmly believed someone was going to do it soon.

“Hey, no need to freak out, it’s just a question.” Tommy pulled his friend back in, slapping his friend on the back. Instead of simply heading back to their lunch table, he pulled him to the side, standing next to the hot grab and go table, next to the cartons of fries.

“Now, the way I see it, you have something great going for you.” Tommy began, cracking open his milk and taking a long swig, leaving a milk film on his upper lip. “Vicki Clarke is a fucking babe and she’s begging for it! She’s all over your ass and she’s hot as hell! But you’re blowing it by spending all your time staring at some freak of nature instead. You could have a smoking hot babe at your beck and call, but you’re wasting your chances here, you see what I mean?”

“Not at all, dude.” Steve crossed his arms over his chest, looking over his friend doubtfully.

“Look man, I’m just trying to set you up for success here. Because that girl,” Tommy pointed at you slyly “Is not interested. If she was, she’d be over here, acting like Vicki is. But she’s keeping herself planted at that table with that goth freakazoid.”

Steve had no idea what to say. He opened his mouth to speak, to deny having any feelings for you, but that wouldn’t mean shit if he kept watching you. And Tommy was right, there was a girl there who wanted to listen to whatever he said, who chased him down. Vicki was there and you weren’t. So he swallowed his words and went back to his table.

“Hey, Steve…” Vicki drawled. There was red lipstick on her teeth. Steve didn’t say anything about it. It didn’t make her ugly. He wrapped an arm around her shoulder, letting her rest in the crook of his neck. Vicki seemed over the moon by it and it gave him something to focus on other than catching your attention.

Samantha frowned, turning her attention back to you. “What’s Steve’s opinion on Vicki Clarke?” she asked.

“He didn’t like when I told him that she had a thing for him, why?” you retorted, flipping through the college magazine in front of you. You still hadn’t chosen anywhere to apply and applications for the major schools were due in the winter and community colleges needed their applications in for the fall semester in by the end of June at the earliest.

“Well, he doesn’t seem embarrassed now.” Samantha hooked a thumb towards the couple. You looked once, narrowing your eye to scrutinize the pair.

“Eh, that seems about right…” you murmured. You wouldn’t deny that something about it hurt. But you ignored the pain until returning home from school. As always, you called before making any moves. It was the polite thing to do, even though Steve had made the plans to meet up with you after school the night before.

The phone was picked up after three rings. Steve’s car was in the driveway, not his mother’s, so you knew who would answer. “Hello?” his voice sounded anxious and breathy, maybe even annoyed.

“Steve-o, we still studying? You wanna go grab food at Hula Burger?” Steve had introduced you to the burger place in Carmel, a little mom and pop shop with the best Cajun fries in the county, at least in your opinion.

“Oh shit…” Steve muttered “Y/N I’m sorry I-I kind of made plans, can I take a rain check on the burgers?”

“Oh…yeah, sure I guess…some other time…” you said softly. You wouldn’t try to hide the disappointment in your voice. The pain you felt in the pit of your stomach returned with abundance, not exactly sore and angry pain, but more of a black hole opening up there.

“I gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, ‘kay?” Steve asked. He was already running late. He was supposed to pick up Vicki in twenty minutes and he still needed to shower. He had genuinely forgotten about his plans with you and he felt like an ass for doing so. He did want to hang out with you, but a date was a good step after being decimated by Nancy. He wasn’t super into Vicki, but it was still exciting to go out with someone new.

“Sure…” you hung up after that. You stood from your bed, dropping your book bag at your feet. You were used to spending afternoons alone, that wasn’t strange to you. Just because you’d spent a few days with a boy didn’t mean that he was yours to hold back from his life. You could’ve pulled a fit and tried to make him hold true to his word, the way your mother used to act towards your father. But those memories made you sick, you didn’t like that behaviour. But you also didn’t like being cancelled on. It wasn’t a feeling you were used to, not from friends at least. Samantha never really cancelled on you, she always made sure to tell you when she was busy and not agree to plans. She’d never cancelled on you for a date, even when she was dating Keith the creep she always put your friendship on a different level than him. Of course, she wasn’t really into Keith, she came out like a week after they started dating and broke up with him after kissing Jessica Klein at a house party, but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Steve had ditched you and it made your heart hurt.

You couldn’t help but watch him run out of his front door and into his car. You watched it pull out of his driveway and out onto the road. It was clear to you now, Steve was more interested in passing English than he was in being your friend. Vicki Clarke was the girl to pay attention, no matter how he acted around you.

So why pretend like he was your friend at all?

171 notes · View notes

softnaruto · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! How have ya been? I hope good 😊✨ I just want to request some headcanons for ANBU kakashi having a very sensitive and sentimental s/o! (Your blog is so cute 🌷)

Kakashi having a sensitive and sentimental s/o:

author’s note: Thank you so much for requesting this! Kakashi is honestly one of my favorites, if not, my favorite character! (Also, thank you so much!) Hope you like it!

words: 1349

genres: fluff!!!!

warnings: n/a

Although ANBU Kakashi is a closed book to anyone around him, having a sensitive s/o would make him try to be at least a bit of an open book with them.

He likes talking about the books he’s been reading (Here we go, Icha Icha Paradise for the 13thtime!) and often tells you about his favorite character and why they shouldn’t have been killed off.

One time he got so heated you had to kiss him to make him be quiet. He blushed and apologized, but insisted you’d just love the character too if you just gave in and read Icha Icha Paradise with him.

If you ever watch sad movies and you begin to cry or even begin to get sad, he’ll notice and change the movie (even if you complain.)

“You feel bad. Why do you want to watch the movie if you feel bad?”

He won’t mention Obito or Rin often (or, at all, even,) as he wouldn’t want to make you feel sad.

Don’t even try to insist and force him to talk about them—he’d be stubborn about it and would try to get out of the conversation. Even if you insist that you’ll be okay, he still bottles his emotions up about that situation and would rather not want you to know about how painful it is for him.

He’ll eventually talk about it if you don’t put pressure on it though. You’d be on his chest, and the comforting silence would eventually awaken the soft, open-book Kakashi. He would softly start talking about how he would fight with Obito all the time and would tell you about all the times Obito made them late. He wouldn’t talk about the bad things, but would rather make you laugh and smile with the memory of his best friends.

He actually took you to their graves the next morning and thanked you for being there with him. It was the first time you had ever seen him be so emotional about something in particular.

He is open about things when it’s in-the-moment but is still pretty limited with details. He’s also INCREDIBLY awkward about it and since he just wants to be open and honest with you, he often says things without thinking about them beforehand.

“I actually really like ramen.” “What?” “Nothing.”

“I actually do have a face beneath my mask, you know.” “I know, Kakashi.”

One thing Kakashi does and WILL ALWAYS DO is comfort you. He isn’t really good with words, but if he ever comes home and finds you crying, you bet you’ll be laying on his chest as he draws circles on your back.

Since he isn’t good with words, he makes it up by his presence. He’ll make you some dinner after you’ve finished crying, put on your favorite movie, and just stay by your side until you literally have to swear that you’re okay.

He’ll never pressure you into talking about the situation at hand since he doesn’t want you to talk about something that still hurts you. (If it’s a certain person making you feel bad, though, you bet they’ll never bother you again.)

He never makes you feel bad about being sensitive or sentimental! In fact, he often tells you to be proud that you can feel such emotions.

“Think about it. If you didn’t feel any emotions at all, it’d be the same thing as not being… dead.”

“Hey, at least you’re not like, cruel.”

“You care about others, which is a good thing. Guy also cares about others and look at him, he’s doing great.” “How?” “Uh. He’s a ninja?”

He tries, s/o. He really does.

If you ever feel insecure about anything, you bet you’re going to be lectured by Kakashi. You’re absolutely precious to him, and he WILL make you know that.

You’re honestly the one person who eventually brings him out of his shell. Although Guy had tried to for years, Kakashi opened up when he started dating you. It still bothers Guy, but he is really happy that Kakashi has now actually raced him to the top of the mountain. (Of course, you had to tell Kakashi to do it for YOUR sake)

You’re the only one who actually knows his favorite ice cream flavor (Is it mint chocolate chip? Please tell us.)

You are a fragile, soft, wonderful human being that Kakashi cherishes and that means one thing: he WILL NEVER let anything or anyone harm you. He has lost too many people in his life and he can’t afford to lose another.

If he notices that someone has made a comment that has hurt your feelings or bothered you, you bet he is going to walk up to them and intimidate them in a way that makes them run for the hills.

Although it may seem that he is quite lazy and doesn’t really care about anything, the way his eyes (or rather, eye,) look at you while you’re doing something as simple as read proves otherwise. You’re the one thing he 100% cares about and everyone knows it.

If an argument ever arises, he immediately apologizes and tries to fix the problem by diving into the root of the argument. He never wants to have a pointless argument if all it’s going to do is make the both of you feel bad.

You’re the only person he hangs out with after work. If he’s not with you watching movies, talking about life, or simply just playing with his ninja hounds, he’s reading in his favorite spot.

He likes to take you on private, small, picnic dates. He sees you as the sun in his life, and so on the sunniest days (when it’s not too hot, of course, he would suffocate,) he would often lead you under a tree and would say something like, “I kind of… planned this.”

If you got too sentimental over the cute date he had planned, he would get all “Oh did you not like it? I’m sorry.” And would try to clean everything up, promising to take you somewhere else. If you said it was because it was too beautiful, he would blush and try to play it off before drying off the tears with his thumb.

Kakashi is soft with you. He shows you a side of him that no one has ever seen and you often run your hands through his hair; he really likes laying his head on your lap, his hair tangled in your hands, as he reads you some Icha Icha Paradise (you finally gave in.)

He LOVES to make you laugh. There is where his snarky humor evolved from. He started making these sarcastic comments around you, and once you found them funny a lightbulb clicked in his head.

Now he’s all about challenging Guy and beating him if it makes you laugh.

Let’s talk about how soft his kisses are.

He knows you’re soft and he wants to match your energy. So what does he do? He softly grasps your cheeks, leans in, and plants his lips against yours. Almost cloud-like!

If you’re ever crying and you’ve calmed down a bit, you’re definitely getting a kiss. He’s found out that if he kisses you as you’re calming down, you end up smiling and looking beautiful.

He encourages you to smile even though he doesn’t smile himself.

The only PDA he allows is hold-handing. But that took a couple of weeks and thousands of pouts from you for him to be open to holding your hand.

It still takes him a few months for you to see his face, but let’s think about it… that’s fast considering all of his not-so-childhood friends have never seen it.

He’s a bit awkward at the beginning of the relationship, but as he opens up and you both start to know each other more, he becomes really lovely and is really observant about everything. He knows when you’re happy, sad, nervous, etc.

He definitely becomes forgetful at times, but always makes up to it! He missed your date by 10 minutes? He’ll pay for dinner AND the dessert.

Ultimately, ANBU Kakashi is hurt, quiet, and someone who never really allows anyone to get close to him as he is afraid of losing anyone else. But once he meets you, he’s different. He tries to change his ways and becomes his true self. You’ll always see the true Kakashi behind closed doors.

#kakashi #kakashi sensei #kakashi hatake #kakashi x reader #naruto #naruto headcanons #naruto scenarios #naruto imagines #anime #anime scenarios #anime headcanons #sasuke

155 notes · View notes

wickedmilo · 4 years ago

Photo

THE BETTER HAWKEYE | MILO & ORION

PLACE: Outside the University of Maine TIMING: 12:39 AM SUMMARY: Milo runs into Orion and, after not seeing each other in over a month, the two manage to reconnect. WRITING PARTNER: @3starsquinn CONTENT WARNINGS: Addiction, alcohol, drug abuse

Milo had always been the type to wander at night, but usually he had a goal in mind. There was always a dealer to meet, a club to go to, a stranger he could go home with. Now, he wandered the streets because he could. Because during the day he was confined to the house, itching to do something, for the sense of freedom he used to have. Sometimes, when he was feeling particularly melancholy, he walked past Tower Comics, thinking about the excuses he was going to give his boss when he was ready to return to work. And now he was outside his old college building, staring up at the structure, remembering what it felt like to walk through the doorway, and into a class. Usually late, usually smelling of pot, always with a coffee in his hands. Sparking up a cigarette, he leaned against the brick wall behind him, observing the college from across the quiet street. There was nobody around at this time, despite all of the lights being on. And it was weirdly comforting to reminisce.

It didn’t take very long for him to be drawn from his memories, though, as a familiar figure began to make his way down the entryway steps. Orion, he would recognise him anywhere. They had attended school together, though Orion had been far too shy to make his acquaintance back then. It was only after getting a job at the comic book store that they really began to get to know each other. His colleagues used to tease him endlessly about the boy’s very obvious crush. But as far as he was concerned, it was pretty harmless. Orion had never once made a move, and he didn’t exactly seem the type. He missed their conversations, he missed the routine of work. Although he had never been one to keep to a schedule, having somewhere to hang out and talk to people away from the nightlife of the town had been nice. He enjoyed it. Pushing away from the wall, it was probably a bad idea, but he couldn’t stop himself from crossing the road. He was feeling relatively mellow. With a handful of pills in his system, freshly fed thanks to Harsh and his generous supply of blood bags, he was in control. He wasn’t a danger. “Hey!” He called, exhaling a breath of smoke. “You do know they don’t give you extra credit for studying in the middle of the night?”

Some time out of the house would do Orion some good. Following his most recent meltdown, he stayed at the campus library until the sun had fallen. The place was popular for all nighters with college students. He had done his own on multiple occasions, or at the very least used it as an excuse when he was trying to avoid his family. When he finally left the building it was with books tucked beneath his arm and the smell of rain in the air. Incoming rain it smelled like. That, and cigarette smoke. But aside from that, Rio didn’t tell there was another person around at all until the voice called out and scared the crap out of him. He jumped, one of the books slipping through his arm and falling to the ground. “Jesus. Sorry. Hey.” Rio breathed, bending down to grab the book and not even bothering to check who the person was saying hi to him. His cheeks flushed when he finally turned and saw Milo. “Oh. Woah. Hey! It’s been awhile.” Milo had been a familiar and friendly face at the comic book shop. One that Rio remembered fondly from high school even though the two never spoke. He also remembered how flustered he had always been trying to have a conversation with the boy at the comic book shop post graduation. He could remember just how awkward those first few discussions had been until Rio started to get a bit too passionate about the history of comic books. The only thing that could overcome his bad habit of crushing on any guy that was nice to him was how much he loved nerding out over things.

Luckily for both of them, Rio was a bit less flustered around boys than he used to be. “Ha ha. Very funny. I focus better at night.” Rio shrugged as an explanation. It wasn’t technically a lie, although on this particular night he was just using it as an excuse so he didn’t have to go home. “I haven’t seen you at Towers recently. Do you still work there?”

Milo felt a wave of guilt when Orion dropped one of his books. He had forgotten how easily flustered he could be. Before he was able to reach down and pick it up, Orion had it securely back under his arm, so he offered him a sheepish grin instead. “I didn’t mean to scare you,” he admitted, his version of an apology. He watched, incredibly amused, as his company realised who he was talking to. Taking a drag from his cigarette, he blew the smoke away from where they were standing. “Yeah, I guess it kind of has.” It made him sad sometimes, to remember the simplicity of before. His life had always been turbulent, and unpredictable. But through his own choice. He had still been in control. Tower Comics had been a brief escape from the never ending cycle of getting high, and coming down. He showed up, he stood behind the counter, he sold comics. It was too easy. A quiet laugh escaping him at the mention of being able to focus at night, it felt too relatable given his current circumstance. “Things got a little… weird, for a while.” Like that wasn’t a ridiculous understatement, but he wasn’t sure what else he could say.

“I, uh- I don’t actually know.” Did he still work there? It had been over a month since he last showed up for a shift, but his boss had always managed to tolerate his bullshit. Missing shifts wasn’t unusual for him. Neither was arriving late for them, sometimes he even left early, slinking away when nobody was around to stop him. He had a feeling if he walked in with an apology and an explanation, he would be able to keep his job. “It’s been like... a month, which is probably not great. But they’ll let me back. I mean- I hope they’ll let me back. Why?” He asked. “Are you still stopping by? Have you been missing me?” He was teasing, but just barely. He genuinely missed Orion, and he liked to think the enjoyment of their conversations had been mutual.

“It’s fine. I’m notoriously jumpy” Orion admitted with a small laugh. He would have thought that with all the training that he had been doing recently that he might get a bit less anxious. As it turned out, getting rid of that instinct wasn’t going to be easy. As if he needed any other reason to loathe his deceased parents. Now that he had composed himself, he got the chance to study Milo. Rio couldn’t remember how long it had been since the two had talked in the comic book shop, but he knew that it had been awhile. Something about him seemed… different. Physically, he didn’t appear to look very different than he had at Towers, but something was definitely different. Just as Rio was a lot different despite the relatively small change to him physically. Rio’s bleached blonde hair was gone, but he was still stick thin. His baggy hoodie also hid any new muscle definition his training had afforded. “Weird?” Rio questioned. He had an entire list of theories of what Milo might mean by that. This town had no shortage of weird things. But maybe against all odds, Milo’s troubles were completely mundane and non supernatural. “Sorry to hear that. Are things uh- getting better?”

“Fingers crossed for you. The guy that owns the place seems pretty nice, right?” He had no idea what may contribute to disappearing from work for a month, but he didn’t exactly know Milo that well. The two had been friendly enough at the comic book store, but the friendship hadn’t exactly extended outside of there. “Well I don’t get to rant about comics with anyone else in the store, so yeah for sure. I missed having you to chat to.” Though Rio didn’t go there as much anymore, he had stopped there a few times over the last month or so. Admittedly, Rio had been going there less and less for far longer than a month. While dating Winston, the two stayed busy working at the Scribrary or hanging out with their friends. After Winston left town, Rio had thrown himself into his work. “I drop in when I can! I’ve been busy lately, so I haven’t been able to go as much. But if I knew you were going back I’d definitely try to swing by more often.” He cringed at his own statement. “What have you been up to? Outside of Towers, I mean.”

Milo continued to smile, feeling a strange sense of affection for his friend. Seeing him outside of the comic book store was a rare occurrence, but it was comforting to know while his life had become so new, and disorientating, it had carried on as usual for other people. The world was still spinning, Orion was still buying comics. Things were going to be okay. Shifting uncomfortably on the spot as Orion observed him, he couldn’t help but feel as though he was being read. In the same way his mom always knew when he was on something, or under the influence, before he had even said a word to her, maybe Orion could see somehow that he had changed. “Yeah,” he laughed, only a hint of bitterness lacing the sound. Taking another drag of his cigarette, he tapped ash absentmindedly. “Really fucking weird.” He admitted. “Don’t be sorry, though. S’not like it’s your fault.” He caught his company’s eye again, showing him his sentiment was sincere. “I mean- I think so?” It was hard to gauge, when everything was still so fresh. But now that Harsh was helping him, now that he had someone there, he didn’t feel so lost. The hopelessness that had been weighing down on him wasn’t quite as heavy as it used to be. “Yeah… yeah, they are.”

His smile growing at the mention of his boss, he nodded, reaching up to push his hair back away from his face. “He’s pretty chill, I don’t think he’ll mind too much if I just, you know… say I’m sorry.” He knew taking responsibility wasn’t something he was good at, but hopefully his boss would be able to see he was serious this time. This absence wasn’t his fault. “Oh, yeah? Well I’m here now if you need to ramble. Immortal Hulk is still going, right? I don’t suppose you’re caught up?” Raising his eyebrows, he knew it would be unfair to openly tease Orion for his comment, but he couldn’t resist the flirtatious expression. What harm could it do? “So, what you’re saying is I’m the best thing about Tower?” He laughed easily, offering a casual shrug. What have you been up to outside of work shouldn’t be such a loaded question. But how was he supposed to answer? Oh, I died, found out the world I thought I lived in was very much not the world I was living in. Developed a mad craving for blood, hurt one of my closest friends when she randomly decided she wanted to kill me, then shacked up with another vampire who realised I had no idea what was going on… “I’ve, uh- I’ve been around.” He muttered, dropping his cigarette to the floor, grinding it beneath his shoe as an excuse to avoid eye contact. “You?”

Orion’s brow furrowed as he considered his best course of action. There was still a chance that Milo’s definition of weird was vastly different from Rio’s. “Right. Yeah I know, it’s just- it still sucks. And I’m sorry that it sucks.” Rio rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. At the very least, Milo confirmed that things were getting better. That had to be a plus. If nothing else, there was something positive. He was tired of things only getting worse. He needed to know that things really did get better for some people in this town. “Well I know that we aren’t like uh- you know super close or whatever. But if you ever want to talk about the weird stuff, I’m a great listener.” He hoped that Milo could pick up on the differences between Rio then and Rio now. Back then Rio was far too flustered and infatuated to ever be able to sustain a genuine friendship. He wasn’t nearly as hopeless as he used to be when it came to making friends.

“Oh! Yeah I think it’s still going. I started it, but I’m behind right now. The series is really interesting, even though I’ve never cared much for Hulk comics. Right now I’m following Strange Academy pretty closely. It has a lot of like, Young Avengers or X-Men school energy. And I’ve always been a sucker for the teen or young adult superhero groups! I’m hooked.” It was comforting to see how easily he was able to slip back into conversation with Milo. Rio groaned at Milo’s very pointed comment. “Well maybe I’m saying you were” Rio laughed, imagining how he would have reacted a year ago if Milo had made the same comment in the store, “Until you disappeared. Now it has to be like the gaming tournaments or something. And I don’t even participate.” With his incredibly vague response, Rio was all but convinced that something very supernatural had occurred in Milo’s life. Teetering the line between nosy and understanding, Rio kept his mouth shut. The two ran into each other out of luck, not exactly the ideal scenario for either to be spilling their secrets to each other. “Me? Well my friend moved out of town and left me in this giant house by myself. So I’ve basically been a hermit for the past two months. So my life is very, very boring.”

Milo hadn’t been expecting such a genuine apology, it caught him off guard. It was very clear that, despite not being incredibly close, Orion cared about him, and it hit him that he cared about Orion in return. It was strange how easily somebody could become a fixture in your life, but it certainly wasn’t unwelcome. He felt his throat close, as he fought to suppress whatever emotion was attempting to overwhelm him. It would be embarrassing to explain why he was suddenly choked up. He refused to become the person who cried every time they were offered a shred of kindness. “Thank you…” He said, his voice quiet. He wondered whether it was obvious how touched he was by the sincerity. “That, uh- that means a lot.” Unable to stop a sudden laugh from escaping him, he shook his head, falling back into his usual demeanour. “No, honestly- you don’t want to hear it. I’d only sound fucking insane, and I kind of brought it on myself, anyway...” Brushing off the comment, he jumped at the chance to talk about comic books. This was an easy subject, this was something he knew.

“Hm, I’ve heard good things about Strange Academy. Do you know who’s doing the artwork? I know how fucking basic this is but I kind of miss seeing Skottie Young, his variants are always insane.” Grinning, his eyes shining with mischief, he couldn’t help feeling genuinely flattered by Orion’s admission. Not many people saw him as anything more than a waste of potential. It felt good to just be Milo, the kid in Tower Comics who enjoyed making conversation. “I knew it.” He teased. “I’m going to assume the past tense is because I’ve been gone for a month, and not because you’ve changed your mind.” Nodding at the mention of gaming tournaments, he tried to remember whether he had ever attended one. He wasn’t the type to be drawn into the world of comic cons, and gaming. He enjoyed comics because, as far as he was concerned, they were a form of literature. Any extension of that enjoyment never quite managed to capture his attention. “Well, I’d hate for you to settle. I’ll be back soon…” He knew it wasn’t a promise he could make, but he so wanted the statement to be true. “And then your very, very boring life will maybe be a little less boring again.”

Whether it was the scholar in Orion or the side of him that desperately wanted to be better friends with Milo, he absolutely did want to hear more about whatever had been happening in his life. But he also knew enough from his own experiences avoiding a topic that Milo didn’t want to dive into it right now. “Of course. And seriously, anytime. I may be easily panicked but I’m slightly less easily surprised.” That may not exactly be the truth, but when it came to the supernatural it was becoming more and more true. “No pressure or anything. The offer stands for whenever.”

This definitely didn’t seem like the time though. Instead, Rio enjoyed the comic conversation instead. “Good question. I don’t actually. It looks familiar though I’m sure they’ve done other stuff. I’ll have to look it up.” Rio made a mental note to do some research on it in the morning. “Oh yeah I totally get that! He’s great! I’ve always been a big fan of Jimmy Cheung, but it may just be because of how much I love the Young Avengers. Which I’m sure is annoyingly obvious so I won’t shut up about them.” Nor did he ever plan to. He loved those comics. Loved the idea of rebelling against their parents and the adults trying to hold them back from doing what they thought was right. It resonated with Rio in a way that he was always too cowardly to do for himself. Well, until he murdered his parents apparently.

“Okay, okay. I admit it. Don’t let it go to your head though.” Rio smiled and raised his hands in surrender of the information. This was all… good. It was nice to be able to hold an actual conversation with him outside of comic books for once. “Well I’ll be on the lookout for that. And maybe sometime we could also do something that wasn’t in a comic book shop too? Like hang out or something?” Rio found himself asking, surprising himself by the suggestion. “In a purely platonic way of course. I mean uh- I don’t like still have a massive crush on you or anything. So this is not me like making a move or whatever.” He sighed, only realizing after that he had basically just admitted to his Milo that pre-Winston, Rio had a crush on the guy. “Not that I ever had a crush! Unless it was super obvious. But even if it was, please for the love of god forget that this last part ever happened.” Jesus.

Endeared by Orion’s explanation, Milo made a mental note. Maybe he couldn’t tell his friend everything, but it would be nice having somebody he could confide in about certain struggles, even if he did need to be somewhat vague about them. “Maybe, one day…” He offered Rio a warm smile, making it very clear that he meant what he was saying. He wanted to, it just wasn’t quite that easy. Glad of the subject change, he focused on the conversation, thinking back on whether he had ever taken in the name of the artist. “Oh, Cheung is awesome! Whenever I want to imagine what a character would look like for real, I go to his work.” Laughing when Orion mentioned talking endlessly about the Young Avengers, he tried to convey with his expression just how much he enjoyed that fact. It was never an annoyance, hearing someone speak so passionately about the thing they loved. “Definitely not. You could never annoy me.” He insisted, not trusting Orion to accept the sentiment. “See, I’m more of a Jekyll and Hyde kind of guy, maybe that’s why I’m drawn to the Hulk. It’s one of my all time favourite tropes, you know?” Maybe if he took the time to dissect why, he could talk about how he related to the internal struggle, the constant battle between desire and a need to be in control. But that struggle had become much more real to him recently, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to talk about it. If he was being entirely honest with himself, he had never been ready to talk about such a personal observation.

“Oh no, it’s too late. It’s gone to my head.” He continued to tease. Raising his eyebrows, he wasn’t expecting the invitation, but he was incredibly grateful to receive it. Any relationships he had cherished before being turned had basically been burned to the ground. He wasn’t sure how to navigate them now. This was a welcome reminder that it was possible, that he could still have friends. Distracted by the blush creeping to Orion’s cheeks, it was the first time since approaching him that he considered the blood coursing through his veins. His skin was flushed, he could hear his heartbeat. It was difficult to ground himself, but he managed. Turning his head away from the direction the wind was blowing, he made an active effort to avoid his scent. As quickly as he had begun to feel normal, any semblance of normalcy was stolen from him. But he refused to get caught up in bitterness, not when he was so close to reclaiming a piece of his old life. Taking a hesitant step backwards, he attempted to frame the movement as casual, carefully fixing a grin back into place. He was genuinely amused by what he was hearing, everything was just so difficult. “Maybe not super obvious.” He assured his company. “But my colleagues might have pointed it out to me.” It was his turn to hold up his hands, more than willing to grant the request. “Already forgotten. And I would seriously love to. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything. I mean, even this is just… a relief. I guess that sounds dumb. I just- I really fucking missed this.”

Though the conversation was sidelined, Orion grinned at the thought that there was more to Milo’s story. A book that hadn’t completely closed. Rio wasn’t sure that there was a friendship outside of Towers. That it was just a worker passing his workday by humoring the awkward gay kid with a crush on him. Rio was thrilled to learn that was not the case. Or not entirely at least. So the conversation about his mysterious weird experience would be shelved for another time. “I’m so glad that we agree on Jim Cheung’s superiority. I would have given anything to be like Kate Bishop. She was like, the coolest comic book character ever.” He spent a lot of time wishing he was more like Kate Bishop, though her entire character’s premise didn’t fit perfectly. The imperfect family, sure. But Kate’s entire strength was that she was the only non-powered person on an otherwise super team, temporary status of Eli Bradley notwithstanding. Rio’s own super abilities, wanted or not, sort of ruined that desire. He still wished he was as confident as she was. “Ooh! Yes that’s a fascinating trope! Fun fact, Robert Louis Stevenson was actually inspired to write the Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde while he was trying to work on a play about an actual person named William Brodie. Apparently this guy, William was like a big figure in his town. City council and all that jazz, but ended up being outed as a thief. Robert was fascinated by how someone who had such a clean public image could do such terrible things.” Rio was partly staring up at the sky now as he rambled on about the history of a book that was already a couple hundred years old. He could tell that the rain was about to start. Compliments of the super senses he couldn’t forget about. “Sorry I uh- get passionate about random history things.”

Rio tried to fake a serious tone, but he couldn’t stop laughing. “Oh god, I created a monster. You’re never going to let that go are you? You know, I’m sure there’s plenty of other employees at Towers that I could go and annoy.” As much as Rio was enjoying the positive energy, he couldn’t help his face from heating up at openly talking about his old crush. “Oh god. You said that way too nicely. It was definitely super obvious.” Rio sighed. His face was on fire now, and he could only imagine the bright shade of red his cheeks must be. “Thank you for taking pity on me. Because I desperately need this too. I’m very tired of sitting in my house doing nothing all day.”

“Kate Bishop, huh?” Milo echoed. He had definitely heard Orion talk about her before but hearing about his favourite characters always intrigued him. He had such a way of explaining himself, he could say the same sentence over and over and Milo was fairly certain he would listen regardless. “Poor Barton, just brushed to the side.” He teased, his eyes shining. He didn’t know an awful lot about Kate and her backstory, but more than once he had been flicking through a comic book, only to stumble upon a mention of trying to please an emotionally distant father. Boy, did he know what that felt like. His father hadn’t been absent. In fact, he had many memories of playing catch as a child, of being read bedtime stories, and baking on the days designed for them both to spend time together. But Oliver Summers had never talked about his feelings, and had always made his expectations incredibly clear. The moment his son was able to read on his own, he was expected to. The moment he was able to study on his own, he was expected to. The moment he could fend for himself, cook his own meals, do his own research, he was expected to. It was academia, and independence above all else. And now that he was officially off the rails, he had grown all too familiar with his stern disappointment, shame and frustration often simmering below his carefully arranged expression. “Bishop is pretty cool though, I’ll allow it.” Falling silent again, he recognised the look on Orion’s face and knew he was about to learn something. At the very least, hear about something interesting.

He could vaguely remember covering the topic at university, but he had been in and out of his classes. Incredibly unreliable, and incredibly not sober. Which made the information feel fresh, and exciting. “Don’t apologise for being passionate.” He hated to think anybody ever made Orion feel bad for sharing the subjects he enjoyed, even if that person was Orion himself. “People are complicated… it’s fascinating, really. I guess you never really know a person’s motivations. Not unless they outright break them down for you.” Grinning suddenly at the choice of phrase, the irony wasn’t lost on him. They were talking about monsters within literature, but hadn’t he also kind of already become one in real life? He would usually wallow in that, but with Orion it felt easy to see the humour. “Maybe you have.” He admitted, mischief lacing his tone. “And no, I am definitely not. You’ve already confirmed I’m the most interesting employee, so if you want to go and bore yourself with the others then I guess I can’t really stop you.” It was impossible not to notice how flushed Orion was, his skin pink with embarrassment as a quiet sigh escaped him. But there was just enough distance between them both for his friend not to feel like a temptation. The last thing he would ever want to do is hurt somebody he cared about. “I’m not taking pity on you, moron. I want to hang out.” He insisted. “And not many people describe me as nice, so I’ll take it. Thank you for the compliment.” He felt guilty for being pleased to hear Orion spent so much of his time alone, but it only justified his decision. He could spend more time with Orion because Orion wanted company. And, Vampire or not, where was the harm in that?

Orion only shrugged in response to Milo's question about Barton, “Hey Kate said it best herself when she called herself the better Hawkeye. She wouldn’t lie.” The first drop of rain hit against Rio’s forehead. It ran down his face, a welcome drop of cold against the burning skin. He could just barely hair the sounds of droplets hitting against the pavement now. It didn’t seem like it would start pouring right away, but the rain would probably only get heavier from here. In preparation, Rio slid his bag off of his back and opened it, revealing even more books stuff inside. It was a tight squeeze trying to get the books previously held under his arm in. He was just barely able to zip the bag up. It wasn’t a permanent solution, but it would protect against the lighter rain until the conversation with Milo faded. Rio wasn’t in much of a rush to leave right now.

“Right. Sorry. I’ve been told I over apologize too. Example A, two seconds ago.” Rio had found a decent group of people that had embraced or encouraged his sometimes overbearing passion for history, but each time still came as a surprise. He was used to passive annoyance. A feigned interest in the topic before all too intentionally taking an opportunity to change the subject. But he finally knew people that didn’t do that. He really liked those people. He was just glad Milo was one of those people. “No. Not at all. People always surprise you.” Rio agreed a little too aggressively, eyebrows rising in unison with his emphasis. Hunters were a perfect example of this. Trained to kill, taught to blend in. Some were just better at it than others. “I’m totally going to regret telling you that” Rio rolled his eyes and wiped away at the stream of water running down his face from the rain. “Okay, okay. You don’t have to get all defensive about it. We’ll hang out then. I’m looking forward to it!”

Milo laughed, he couldn’t really argue with Kate Bishop herself. And though he hadn’t actually read very many of the Hawkeye comics, it was clear Orion knew what he was talking about. “Okay, okay, you win. Kate is the best Hawkeye.” He surrendered, feeling the first drops of rain begin to hit his skin. Glancing up at the night sky, the clouds were dark, and thick. The water was as cool as the night air, and it was a welcome sensation, but he had a suspicion it might be the start of a downpour. He knew it was unfair, expecting Orion to feel the same way about the weather, but he didn’t want to leave just yet. He watched patiently as his friend did his best to save his books, wincing a little as he considered just how heavy his bag must be. “Are you apologising for apologising?” He asked, raising his eyebrows with a quiet smile. “Come on, which way were you walking?” He readied himself to start moving again, absentmindedly brushing down his hoodie before forcing his hands into his pockets. “Let’s get you out of the rain, I refuse to be responsible for your shit getting ruined, and it’s getting cold.”

Waiting to be given a direction, he mulled over what Rio was telling him. As far as he was concerned, he had always been incredibly predictable. His parents always knew how and when he was next going to screw up. As a Human, when he disappeared, Dani always, always knew how to find him. “Maybe some people.” He said finally. “I don’t think I’ve ever surprised anyone.” Offering an easy grin, he hoped his warm expression might be enough to take back the insult, he so often forgot not everybody was used to his humour. It wasn’t as though he could call people names while he was working, and he had only ever spoken to Orion at work. “You won’t regret it, don’t worry. I’m not that mean. And an insult from me is a compliment, I swear. I didn’t mean anything by it, I’m just excited-” It felt ridiculous to admit, but it was undeniably true. “I haven’t had anyone to talk to in a while, so…” Anyone regular, anyway. “It’s good to see you. I mean it, Rio...”

“It was barely even a fair fight. Hawkguy never stood a chance.” Orion laughed. Talking about stuff like this was one of the few times he seemed to excel, or at the very least accomplish, at normal conversation. He missed being able to just talk and laugh and even joke without spending the entire conversation constantly second guessing every single word before he even said them. “That’s uh- Kate starts calling him that when they start working together. Since they’re both Hawkeye.” Rio picked the bag up and swung it back over his shoulder with relative ease, tucking his arms through the straps. “I’m pleading the fifth on that one.” Rio shrugged, but began walking with Milo. He wasn’t sure why Milo thought he needed an escort to his car parked around the corner of the library, but he assumed that it was probably the same reason that everybody assumed Rio needed an escort or a protein shake or regular exercise. But like with most hunters, even Rio was an example of how looks could be deceiving. Most people didn’t peg the sickly looking gay frail kid as the one that could rip a car door off. “For the record, it’s not your fault at all. I’ve been doing a great job ruining my… stuff all on my own.”

Walking towards his car, Rio spun and walked backwards to look at Milo. He wasn’t sure what Milo meant by that. That he had never surprised anyone. He supposed it could have just been an offhand comment that didn’t require much digging into. But something about it seemed incredibly sad. Rio started to consider his own stakes on the word. In a way, Rio had tried his whole life to be as unsurprising as possible. He had wanted to blend in, be a good person and fly mostly under the radar. He supposed that same tactic would backfire though. It was only more surprising when someone found out he was a hunter now. “You surprised me like twenty minutes ago. Like genuinely scared the crap out of me. Not that that’s super hard to do.” Rio laughed, but hoped it helped at least a minimal amount, “I’m honestly surprised you even like, came up and talked to me tonight. So there you go. First time for everything.” Rio’s foot caught on something on the ground and he almost tripped, stumbling backwards a few times before righting himself. That’s what he got for trying to walk backwards and talk. They got to the mostly empty parking lot and Rio lead Milo to his car, “Welp. Here we go. I uh- yeah. Same here. I could use a friend right now so…” Rio pulled his phone out of his pocket and handed it over to Milo, “Want to put your number in? So we can plan a hang out. Or text or whatever.”

Milo smiled, listening to Orion as he continued to talk about Kate Bishop, and Clint Barton. It was obvious to anyone how his demeanour changed when he was talking about something that he genuinely loved, and he sincerely hoped he wasn’t the only person to appreciate that. “Maybe I should make more of an effort to get into Hawkeye.” He admitted. When… if he was allowed back to the comic book store, it would be the first thing on his to-do list. “Wouldn’t it be easier to take up a new mantle at that point?” He asked, trying to imagine working with somebody else named Milo without things descending into confusion. It didn’t go unnoticed just how easily Orion swung the bag over his shoulder, but he chose not to comment. He wasn’t about to embarrass him, not after his admission. Maybe he was right, maybe people really did have a way of surprising you. His smile faltering momentarily, he had a feeling there was a lot more to the words than Rio was letting on, though he brushed them off. If he wanted to elaborate then he would. “Exactly, so you don’t need my help.”

Following his friend to where he could only assume his car was parked, he moved slowly, allowing Orion to face him walking backwards. The rain was falling with a little more persistence, but there was nowhere near enough water to soak them through. Pushing his damp hair back away from his face, he caught Rio’s eye with an easy laugh, oddly touched by the sentiment. “I guess that’s true, you know… I can’t argue with you on that one.” It wasn’t quite the same, but it felt like enough. “I do like you.” He insisted. “I’d jump at any excuse to talk to you, you don’t know how boring my shifts used to be when you didn’t show up to see me.” His step faltering as Orion stumbled backwards, the boy righted himself before he even had the chance to fully react. “If you were hoping I was going to catch you and sweep you off of your feet, you need to be a good 2 yards closer.” He teased, as they finally came to a halt in the near-empty parking lot. Accepting the phone gratefully, he hurried to plug in his number. Mainly in an attempt to keep the device out of the rain, but also because it felt good to have a contact, he wanted Orion to have a way of reaching him. Handing it back, he pulled his carton of cigarettes from his pocket, ready to light one for the begrudging walk home. Harsh was probably wondering where he was. “I guess, I’ll- uh… I’ll see you around then?”

Orion had often wondered that same thing about the Hawkeye issue. Though he supposed it did change a bit depending on how far someone dived into the character. “Great question. I actually think in some of the comics that Kate Bishop sort of drops the hawkeye name because she becomes a private detective instead. It’s a whole thing. But regardless, I’m interested in getting your thoughts on it!” He was mostly excited to have someone to talk comic books with again.

There had been a surprising amount of honesty and sentiment in what had otherwise been a fairly comical conversation. With how bold Milo was being in his statements, Rio found it hard to focus. As the conversation about comics died down, so did Rio’s ability to talk apparently. But he had to try to force himself to not reverse back into his old habits. He wanted to be actual friends with Milo now. Not just a customer with a crush. “Uh-” Rio drug the word out for far too long before snapping back to focus, “Thanks. Same to you.” At least the cold air would help fight any further blushing. “Very funny, Milo. I am not that person anymore! I’m just a clumsy comic book nerd. Not a clumsy- uh- crushing comic book nerd.” Yikes. That wasn’t as smooth as he was hoping it would sound. “Anyways. Thanks again.” Rio said, opening his car door and tossing the bag of books across the center console and into the passenger seat. He was about to pull himself into the car when he turned back around. “It’s only going to rain harder. Probably, I mean. Do you have a car? If not I can give you a lift?”

“I guess I have some reading to do.” Milo was becoming more determined by the second to pick up the Hawkeye comics. It wasn’t the first time Orion had managed to convince him to start a new series. “I can’t promise I’ll have anything interesting to say though. You’re way better at talking about this shit than I am.” Grinning as he waited for his friend to find his words, he hadn’t been expecting a joke about his crush. “Eh, two out of three aint bad.” He teased. “Though I am offended you got over me so quickly.” He added, the look on his face making it very clear he wasn’t being serious. He wanted to ask why he was being thanked, surely not for the compliments, but he didn’t want to draw attention to any potential lack of self esteem. That hardly seemed fair, and he could make it clear he genuinely enjoyed Orion’s company in other ways. It made him happy to think there would be opportunities in the future to spend time with him.

Caught off guard by the sudden offer, he shifted awkwardly on the spot. He hadn’t been in a car since becoming a vampire, and it definitely didn’t feel smart to get in one now. Especially not with a human, somebody whose heart was beating, pumping blood through their veins that he could smell, even from where he was standing. “No,” he murmured finally, his voice melancholy as he remembered just how much he could no longer do. He had spent the better part of the past seven years saying yes to absolutely everything, taking risks without considering the consequences, walking headfirst into danger because if he told himself things would be fine then it became all too easy to believe. Now… for the first time in his life, he was being forced to think, to contemplate every action before making a decision. It went against every instinct he had, it wasn’t in his nature. But it was necessary to keep other people safe.

“No, I’ll be okay. I’m not staying too far from here…” He absentmindedly sparked up his cigarette, needing something to do with his hands. “Thank you though.” Shooting Orion one last smile, he held his gaze, needing him to understand his sincerity. “It really was good to see you. Text me.” The moment the words left his mouth, he turned away. Before Orion could call out to him, or tell him to get in the car. Before he could change his mind and put anybody at risk. Before he could think too deeply on his new limitations, and what it felt like to say no. To have no choice. So much had been taken away from him, and wallowing in that fact had become a past time. Though, he realised, with a strange sense of clarity, he may have just gained a friend. It was this thought that carrying him, as he left Orion in the parking lot. This thought making the night feel a little less dark as he disappeared into the shadows.

#addiction tw #alcoholism tw #drug abuse tw #milo and orion #c:orion

7 notes · View notes

wu-sisyphus-gang · 3 years ago

Text

Motion Sickness Chapter 59

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

I rolled up on the Seventh Heaven on a motorcycle with Neo riding behind me with both arms wrapped around my waist. She exhaled through her nose in a slow sigh.

"Good evening Mantle. Good evening SDC. Good evening Mother who lives in the corner of my eye but disappears when I try and look at you. What do you think, Neo? We finally going to get what we deserve?" I asked.

She squeezed my chest tightly.

"I meant about Cinder. Though you and I probably deserve to have other shit happen to us. Don't you think? Just a little?"

I stroked the engine and it went off like a gun while I sat outside the bar and waited for Avalanche. The cobblestone street wasn't crowded with the little motorcycle. I'd seen some bigger models that called out to me but for now this little one was enough for me.

"I mean the shit we've done..." I laughed. I laughed hard. It was funny. It was all so, so funny. Why wasn't I able to laugh at me like this all the time? "The shit we've done we probably deserve some horrible shit to happen to us. Probably something like exactly what happened. They call that karma. Not what will happen to us for what we've done, the shit that is happening to us for what we did."

"You with Roman," I murmured. "I imagine you did some horrible awful shit. I'm not worried about it. I do awful shit too."

She squeezed me tighter. I embraced the feeling. The touch of another was something so simple. It was something so alien to me at the moment but it was all too Cetra. Maybe I was just stopping Neo from getting close to me. Maybe she wanted to be close to me. Maybe I was the only real stopping block.

I wanted to embrace it, even if it was something from a sadist like Neo. She got off on torture and killing people. And hey, I liked it too. I liked my boot on the necks of those who would stand against me. I liked killing Tyrian. I savored in the memory of his blood pouring out onto the street. I wasn't about pain but I was about killing. I was this sort of monster that reveled in death.

Would Ruby love me now? If she could see the things I'd become would she pull at my hair and kiss my chest? Would her heart beat faster for me still? I could distantly remember the pulse between her legs. I remembered the taste of her sweat, it was sweet like cinnamon. I remembered when she rode me out in an Anima forest and I recalled pressing her against the tile of a shower. Breathless moans leaving her little frame. The skin of her neck against my teeth. Her full lips against mine, so tender against my own harshness. The memory of it was enough to make me shift in the motorcycle seat with Neo clinging to me.

I wasn't sure I had the answer. Or maybe I just didn't want to accept the answer I had. Maybe I didn't like it. Maybe I was just depressing and wallowing in it. Or maybe I had a good point. Maybe at some point somewhere I'd crossed a line.

Bugs crawled around behind my face. I could feel it in my eyes and ears tonight. I picked at the inside of my ear and rubbed an eye, slow and hard.

The soft whisperings of Mother were fit enough to drive me mad. They were loud tonight. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell. It didn't exactly come with a volume setting or a good frame of reference. There was nothing to compare the loudness to. It came and it went. The bugs were like that too.

I was an alien monster to Ruby. I was part Grimm somewhere inside of me. Maybe that was how I'd tracked the Nuckelavee so well. I knew its heart because my own heart beat that same black. My blood and insides were red but so was that of the Grimm. I was inhuman.

Would Weiss still give me that small affectionate smile I remembered gleaming at me in the early Mistrali dawn? A teasing smirk on her blushing face with her hair down around her shoulders.

Would Yang still laugh when I bit back against her?

Could I ever go back? Could I ever be forgiven because I killed my friends? Maybe I really should just kill myself and be done with it. If I turned it on me… if I evened it out… would that make it better? Could I get into heaven if I killed myself?

My friends would want me to go on. It wasn't fair. I just wanted to die.

I pulled my pipe out and took a long draw on it. I had a lot I wanted to relax about. My thoughts were wild and creeping up on me.

I'd never have another calm and patient conversation with Ren. Nor would I ever share a bubbly dialogue with Nora. That was my fault. I may blame Mother but I had been the one to draw my blade against them.

What was Ruby feeling right now as I set off to cause more chaos? Did she still think of me? Did I deserve to have her think of me like that? No. I didn't. And it wasn't because I was born a monster. It was because I embraced it. I tortured, maimed, and killed with impunity.

Ruby would never do something like that. Her heart would go out to each and every person she ever hurt. Meanwhile I was content to smoke and forget 'em.

I exhaled a long batch of smoke out into the cool Mantle night air. I let the earthly odor and feeling settle over me. It was fast. Inhaling drugs worked quick like that. Much faster than anything other than injections. Ghostly hands wrapped over me. The cold suddenly didn't feel so bad and Neo's arms felt nice and warm.

Her hands gripped one another tight, just under my armor where she could be comfortable. "We deserve to die. Me and you. You and I." I told her. "And it'll get us, too. Just you wait and see."

Avalanche came backing out in a little turquoise truck. It backfired a little as it came rolling away from the bar.

I gestured to them with a wave and let them lead the way down the street. It wasn't busy out and I was able tailgate Avalanche pretty closely as we made our way to the mine.

Thoughts crept in on me as I drove under the influence. It was actually pretty easy. I'd fought Tyrian under the influence and that went well enough. My control was fine and as we slipped into traffic I was aware.

I put my pipe in my pocket and out of sight. I didn't need some officer to pull me over because of basically nothing before the operation even started.

We rode up on this massive open pit mine and stopped our vehicles. It had a spiraling depth of road to it for heavy machinery with the walls braced by metallic supports.

"Neo, watch the rides."

She nodded. She leaned her parasol against her shoulder and leaned herself in turn against my new bike.

It was a shallow gold and stripped with platinum. It was easier on the eyes than Yang's bike was. The colors were dull and metallic unlike the bright colors of Bumble Bee. She even named her bike. Maybe I'd name mine too. Maybe one I was a little more attached to than this. I could fucking afford it, I'd bought a whole plane. A nice bike would be nothing. Depending on just how nice it was.

I stepped away and Neo took my hand for a moment and squeezed my fingers. I hesitated for a moment and grabbed her hand back and returned her squeeze.

Then I stepped away for real.

Avalanche swung their way out of their truck. The vehicle heaved as Wenge made his way out of the back of it with his machine gun in hand. Bisque stepped out of the driver's seat, pistol drawn and at the ready. Jasper stepped out of shotgun with an easy grin and a wave at me.

I stared down into the large open pit of the mine with the spiraling road.

"You didn't forget the charges, did you?" I asked.

"Oh, right," Wenge mumbled. He tossed an explosive at my head which I caught.

"Where am I setting this up?" I asked. I began to step down the rings into the large open pit. Blowing the sides of the place would cause a landslide and bury the dust that was ready and waiting for extraction.

"One over there." Bisque pointed. "And another over… there. That should just about do it. Then we blow it remotely."

I laid down a wall of the place on both legs and I walked up to a strut he'd indicated and began to strap the charge into place with duct tape. I set it for remote activation with a push of a button.

"So far this is going very well!" Jasper exclaimed next to me.

A small Schnee Dust Company marked airship spun overhead. It came in low and fast.

"Go set the last charge." I told her. I drew my sword and advanced on two men descending from the plane. I activated my semblance and drew my sword. I flew up to match the height of the plane with a mighty leap. I bladebeamed it.

The beam crashed into the hovering plane and it began to spin out from the tremendous attack. Pieces flew off as it started to spiral into the massive pit. I watched the plane start to level out but it was clearly struggling to remain in the air. I had been hoping to outright destroy it but this was close enough.

I turned back to the two who had descended on guide wires. They were picking themselves off the ground where they fell from the spinning plane.

I stepped up to them and charged my semblance.

"You must be Cloud Strife." The redhead said. He coughed a little but stood firm. He pulled an electro-stick on me as he stood up and caught his breath. The other man just raised his fists with a quiet grunt.

"That's me," I spoke quietly. Speaking quiet is always more threatening than speaking loud. At least in my experience.

Kill the girl. And the boy.

Like that. Exactly like that.

"I'm Rosso. And this is Rude." He gestured with his stick. He brushed dust off of his slacks. They were both wearing full suits and Rude was even wearing a tie. Rosso on the other hand was wearing a pair of goggles up above his eyes and he had an exposed chest under his jacket. He had tattoos next to his eyes, as well.

"We're the Turks. We're going to fuck up six ways to Sunday."

"I'll make this quick." I lowered my sword down at Rosso.

He laughed like I didn't just cut down the plane he was riding in. "Get 'em Rude."

Rude came at me with his fists. I blocked the heavy string of attacks he came at me with using the wide side of my blade. I spaced him out with the giant sword. I swung it around my body and into his gut and knocked him off his feet.

Rosso came at me in an electric blue blur. It was bright blue unlike my deep wafting blue semblance. A speed semblance perhaps. He moved behind me and hit me in the back of the head with his stick. I spun to deal with him but he just blurred away again.

Rude came at me once more. He was enormously strong, but slow. His partner more than made up for his lack of speed, however.

"Cloud's engaged the Turks." Came through a mic in my ear. It was Jasper's voice. "How long until the charges are set?"

My semblance activated. When Rosso came by for another swing I blocked his attack on my sword and reached out and grabbed him by the throat.

"Rude! Help!" I slammed him into the ground through his words.

I was at my most dangerous in a one on one fight. There were certain adaptations I had to make in a two on one fight that made me considerably less formidable. For one I couldn't stand there and non-limit Cross Slash my enemies. It just took too much time while an enemy could come up behind me.

Rude tackled me but I rolled rather than be grabbed by him. I came back up to my feet.

I flew at Rude and brought my sword in a tremendous swing upwards. It caught him in the chest and smashed him into the air. I jumped and swiped my sword down over my head in a brutal strike downwards that slammed him into the ground.

Rosso appeared next to where I landed and hit me in the back with his staff, making me stumble forward. He moved around and hit me in the gut, lightning fast. I grunted and bent over.

He made for another pass but I blocked it with the wide side of Crocea Mors and slashed him to the ground such that he landed on his ass and a blue crackling of aura went over him. He wasn't out just yet but he couldn't keep getting hit by me while I was Limit Broken. He just couldn't afford it, didn't have the aura.

Rude came at me from the other side and I kicked him in the chest and brought my sword down on his head, forcing him to sidestep.

I pulled a lightning crystal from my pocket and crushed it. I swept my hand towards Rosso but Rude reached out and grabbed my arm. I stared at him for a moment in surprise before it blew up in both of our faces.

I kick-jumped my way back to my feet easily and was just in time to block another swing of Rosso's electro-stick. He pushed me back on a pocket of air rather than forcing my feet to slide over the ground. He pushed me all the way back into the side of the pit along the dirt road we fought on.

I flew straight up on the wall and front-flipped over his head, I swung my sword at his back in a non-Limit Break Braver as I flipped over him but he moved out of the way of the helmsplitter with a narrow dodge.

I backflipped in place in his direction and nearly pinned him against the wall with an upward slicing aerial attack. He tried to step in and do some damage with his staff but I followed him with two horizontal slashes that forced him to block the first and jump out of the way of the second.

Rude came up on me in a huge bear hug. He grabbed me from behind and suplexed me. I felt my neck slam against the ground.

I slid back to my feet, already hovering back up. Rude clubbed me once and I thrust Crocea Mors forward and caught him. Then I pulled him into the air with it and then slammed him back into the ground.

"Charges are almost set." Wenge's voice came through my head. "And done. We're good to go."

I backflipped in place and hit Rude with a devastating falling aerial attack that swung horizontally. It forced him to slide back and made his aura flare up in a deep electric yellow.

I chased after him and kicked him in the middle of the chest. Then I kicked him in the side of the leg, making him fall, then I brought my blade around on the side of his head.

Rosso clashed with my blade before I could bring it around on the side of his partner's head. He grunted under the force of my early executed attack.

"Gah! What are you made out of?" Rosso grunted.

"I'm a hunter. A real one." I put my shoulder into the side of the blade and slammed the entire thing into his chest and knocked him to the ground. “You’re both bad jokes. I’d laugh but I don’t find it very funny.”

I was still holding on to my semblance. In a two on one fight like this I needed the speed and strength buffs more than I needed to spend it. Without the movement improvements I'd be unable to keep up with Rosso's speed. So unless I cornered him with it, I'd still need it. It was a difficult balance to play.

So I chased him after I knocked him back and brought my sword down in a massive downwards swing. I gambled and spent my Limit on a Cross Slash. I only caught Rosso in the last two swings of it but it shattered Rosso's aura and slammed him back into the crater wall.

Rude came at me but even in my non-elevated state he was terribly slow. I swept my blade at him which he caught on his knuckles. Then I hit him in the gut with my blade, and after that I kneed him.

I tapped my microphone. "Set off the charges."

"But Cloud…!" Bisque's voice came through.

"Just do it!”

I felt the charges go off and the rockslide begin as the struts collapsed. I hovered above and backflipped three times against the wall of the crater and escaped. I landed neatly beside Avalanche and Neo as the walls came tumbling in.

I looked down and over and saw Rosso and Rude climbing back on guide wires in the still recovering plane. I watched it take off with the two 'Turks' in tow. I felt almost positive that I'd be seeing them again.

"Let's mosey," I told them. I straddled my bike. Neo hopped on and wrapped her arms around me again. She pressed herself tight against me.

I watched and waited for Avalanche to climb back into their truck.

Then I spun off on a cloud of dirt.

pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq pq

-WG

3 notes · View notes

junquisite · 4 years ago

Text

Fated to love 1

PAIRING : Park Junhee X OC X Kim Wooseok

GENRE : Fluff, Angst

WORD COUNT : 2.5k

PARTS : I+P 1 2

AUTHOR’S NOTE : The italics signify the past memories from he trip and they are NOT a dream. they did happen. for timeline differentiation i have used toe Italics. So unless specified, italics are memories and the plain text is the present time.

“Hello, front desk? Yes, can you send a first aid box to room number 411?” she said as she placed the phone down and went to hold Junhee’s face again.

“Do hotels have that?” he asked as she fussed around him.

“Why won’t they?” she mumbled as she took a towel and went to the bathroom, coming back out with a wet towel and bent in front of him as she softly wiped the blood off his busted lip and bruised cheekbone.

“Who told you to go and punch that guy..” she mumbled as he winced.

“But you have to accept I looked cool.” he said and she rolled her eyes at him.

“Yeah until he punched you back.” she said as they heard someone ringing the bell of the hotel room.

She took the first aid box and thanked the person as she came back. She wiped his bruises with the antiseptic and pulled back to examine his face. “You’re lucky, I don’t think it’ll bruise.”

“Oh good. I can’t have a taint on this handsome face of mine.” and a laugh bubbled up her throat.

“Are you still drunk?” she asked as he smiled at her.

“Don’t go around punching people if you care so much about your handsome face.” she said as she gave him a pain killer.

“So you accept I’m handsome?” he asked and she rolled her eyes at him, a smile sneaking past her lips as he smiled back at her.

“No punching anymore okay?” as he kept smiling at her.

“It was not my fault Bora. He was almost harassing you.” he said and she placed her hands on her waist, staring his sitting form down.

“2 comments are not harassing.”

“And i told him to shut up.” he said and she sighed.

“Lemme just apply the ointment.” she said as she went back to the first aid kit when he pulled her by her hand.

“You know what would be better..” he trailed off as she raised an eyebrow at her.

“You can just kiss it better.” he said with a cheeky smile, pointing at the small bruise at his cheekbone. He knew she wouldn’t do that, but he was in for a surprise when she bent and quickly pecked that little bruise.

“Better now?” she asked him, her face inches away from his.

“It hurts here too.” he said as he pointed at his cheeks and saw as she smirked at him before bending down to give him a peck there too.

“Here too.” as he pointed at the corner of her lips, expecting her to back out any moment. But she went for it and left a peck on the corner of his lips, lingering for a few seconds longer.

When she was about to pull back, he held her close with his hand wrapping around her waist. With his other hand he pointed at his lips, “it hurts here too.”

He saw as her eyes flickered between his eyes and his lips, saw as a slight uncertainty clouded her eyes which vanished as soon as it came - leaving behind the crinkles beside her eyes as she smiled and leaned in, softly pecking his lips once, twice, thrice.

When she pulled back did Junhee realise he didn’t want her to - so he pulled her down in his lap, the other hand rushing to clear the bed from all that first aid things as his lips captured hers. A few seconds later she pulled back to breath only to be pushed down on the bed with him on top of her, hiding his face in her neck as he trailed soft kisses down to her collarbone.

She woke up with a start as her phone rang loudly, hands flapping blindly as she sat up on her bed, eyes still closed with the phone attached to her ear - it was a special ringtone set for a special person - her father.

“Hello?” she answered, voice betraying how much she wanted to stay between her blankets.

“Miss. Kang, it’s Mr. Park.” her father’s secretary.

“Yes Mr. Park?”

“Sir would like to have breakfast with you today. I’ll see you in an hour?” he asked and she looked at the clock.

“Alright, i’ll be there.”

She ended the call and rubbed her face.

“Why did I had to wake up with him on my mind first thing in the morning?” and groaned as she laid down in her bed again. She could afford a couple minutes to whine about it.

She sat in front of Wooseok as her father sat at the head’s seat.

“How did the party go yesterday?” he asked and she smiled.

“It went well. There are a lot of proposals and I have a few meetings these coming days to discuss them in detail.”

“I heard there was a footwear company which you’re meeting tonight for dinner?” he asked and she took a glance at Wooseok who had stopped eating his breakfast. So it was him who spilled huh.

“Yes. JD footwears. I had been wanting to work with them for a while now.”

“Cancel the meeting. You said you have a lot of proposals, go with another one.” his father said in a tone that was not to be questioned but it sparked something inside her.

“Why should i?” she asked as she placed her chopsticks down. She had lost her appetite.

“You know wooseok felt uncomfortable with them. You should be more considerate to him.” her father said and she glared at Wooseok sitting in front of her, calmly eating his breakfast.

“He apologised father. And it was all harmless conversations to make me comfortable with him. Wooseok was reading too much into that.” she said and saw how he didn’t even look up at her.

“I don’t care. Choose another partner.”

“Its my company father, you can’t impose your opinion on me.” she spat through gritted teeth.

“Have you forgotten that you could start this company only because of the money I gave you?” He asked loudly and she glared at him.

“You didn’t give me that, you loaned it to me. And I have returned every single penny of it with interest. You don’t see banks going around claiming power over businesses they have loaned amount to, do you?”

“I wont tolerate you speaking like that to me at my own house young lady.” his father yelled and with a screech she pushed back her chair and got up to go, ‘I’ll get going then.” she said and bowed.

“Don’t force me to threaten you with holding an emergency shareholders meeting.” he said and she stilled.

“You only have 8% shares.” she said as she looked at him.

“Why do you think Wooseok has 21% shares?’ his father said and she looked at Wooseok who was staring at her with a blank face now.

“Of Course. I forgot, my bad.” she whispered and saw a pleased smile came on her father’s face.

“So you’ll be cancelling the meeting?” he asked to rub it in her face.

She bowed to him and spoke, “No. I’ll be going forward with the collaboration so feel free to hold an emergency shareholders meeting. I’ll see you there.”

She was about to leave when she heard him mumble, “Wooseok was right, sending you on the trip was a mistake.”

There were a lot of things she wanted to say - both to her father and Wooseok but she figured it’ll be pointless, so she bowed and left.

She was about to get into her car when she heard someone calling her name - Wooseok.

“Why are you being like this?” he asked her and she turned to level him with an unimpressed face.

“Why are you marrying me?” she asked and she saw him getting confused by her question.

“Marry my father instead, he’s been a widow long enough - you’re young, smart and already follow his every command like a wife - marry him.” she said and she got in her car - not interested in whatever else he had to say to her.

“Donghun-ssi?” she asked as she recognised the long haired man and shook his hand as he extended his hand to her.

“Please call me Donghun, Bora-ssi.” he said and she asked him to call her comfortable too.

“Where’s your partner?” she asked and before Donghun could answer she heard someone calling Donghun’s name from behind her and the voice was strangely familiar.

“Hello i’m so sorry to be late, I’m Park Junhee, the Co-founder of JD Footwears.” she looked up to see the smile she has gotten extremely familiar with barely 2 weeks before and then had accepted she won’t be seeing him again.

She saw the recognition on his face as his eyes widened slowly but he masked it up as he took a seat in front of her, beside Donghun.

She took a sip of water.

It was going to be a fun dinner.

Surprisingly, the dinner went with no issues - they had managed to discuss quite a lot of details and both her and Junhee had managed to act like it was their first time meeting. They were almost done with dinner and discussing dessert when the seat beside her was pulled back and she looked up to see none other than her fiance - Kim Wooseok.

“What are you doing here?” she asked as he took the seat and smiled at the pair of men in front of her.

“I was here for a meeting. I was about to leave when i saw you and since i remember Donghun-ssi from the party, i thought i’ll join. I’m not interrupting, am i?” Wooseok asked Donghun who smiled at him, “of course not. This is my partner and co-founder, Park Junhee.”

Wooseok and Junhee shook hands when Junhee spoke, “I’m sorry i was not at the party but i am assuming that you all get acquainted, for you to join our table so comfortably.”

“Oh yes, your partner was flirting with my fiance here, at the party. So you can say we are acquainted.” Wooseok said and although his lips were smiling, his eyes weren’t - they were challenging Junhee and Bora was dying to leave the table.

“Donghun hyung? Flirting with Bora?” Junhee said and wooseok mumbled, “I See you’re all already comfortable with each other to drop honorifics.”

“Both of them are older than us Wooseok.” Bora said and Donghun waved his hand at him,” It’s fine, please be comfortable.”

Junhee leaned back in his chair, eyes set calculativily on Wooseok as he cleared his throat,”As I was saying, Donghun hyung cannot be flirting with Bora and I can guarantee that.”

“And why is that?” Wooseok asked, annoyance slightly slipping in his voice.

“Because he’s getting married in 2 months.”

An awkward silence surrounded the table as everyone processed what Junhee had said. Bora was the first to speak,”Oh Congratulations Donghun, I’m so happy for you! I told you you were reading too much into it Wooseok.” Bora said, the last line pointed at Wooseok.

“Oh. congratulations.” Wooseok said and Bora saw a smirk trying to break into Junhee’s face. She was happy it wasn’t very apparent though - Wooseok hated losing.

“Haha thank you both. How about we order dessert now? We were about to before you arrived Wooseok. This place is famous for its cakes so..” Donghun trailed off as he pointed at a waitress who came quickly.

“I’ll have a chocolate one..” Donghun said and looked at the others.

“2 red velvets for me and the lady.” Wooseok said when Junhee interrupted them.

“No, make it red velvet and 2 vanillas - one for me and one for the lady.”

Bora felt the tension rising again and she stared wide-eyed at Junhee.

“Bora doesnt like Vanilla.” Wooseok said and Junhee scoffed.

“I’m craving something sweet..” She mumbled as they walked the streets of switzerland after their first dinner date. Junhee suddenly grabbed her hand and pulled her in front of an ice cream shop they had just crossed. The happy giggle that escaped her lips answered him before he could even ask and they went inside as she excitedly looked at the rows of flavour.

“Which one do you want?” he asked and she just stared.

“What are you gonna get?”

“Vanilla. Classic but i love it.” he said and she gasped.

“Can i take vanilla too?” she asked and when he said yes, the huge smile that came on her lips tugged at his heart - he wanted to keep making her smile like that.

“Of Course. Why even the question?” he asked and she looked away, but the whisper that passed her lips reached his ear.

“They say vanilla is the cheapest so I can never have it.”

“Bora was the one who suggested the Vanilla cakes from here when we were talking earlier, so i’m sure she wants that too.” Junhee said and saw how agitated Wooseok was. Bora’s face was expressionless but if he himself didn’t like how that guy was trying to control everything, obviously she wouldn’t like it either right?

“Excuse me ma’am, one piece of Chocolate cake, Vanilla cake and red velvet cake. I don’t feel like eating any dessert. That’ll be all.” Bora said and the waitress left after bowing.

The three men ate their desserts and there was a meagre conversation after that. Soon enough, they bid farewell and Donghun and Junhee got in the car as they saw the engaged couple leave in their separate cars. But then again they were supposedly here for different matters so.

The drive was small, they both lived in the same building so usually shared a car. For a change, there was silence in the car.

“So..” Donghun trailed off and Junhee turned to him.

“So?” Junhee asked.

“Bora. You know her from somewhere don’t you?” Donghun aske and Junhee sighed and nodded.

“What gave it away?”

“She never said she wanted vanilla cake.” Donghun said and Junhee ran a hand through his hair, slightly embarrassed.

“Thanks for not saying anything about it there, hyung.” he mumbled and Donghun laughed.

“It felt like you both did not want that to be known.”

“I guess.” Junhee Said And again there was silence.

“Is she the one? From switzerland?” Donghun asked after a while and Junhee nodded.

“Do you want to cancel the collaboration?” he asked as he parked the car.

“No, why would i want that?” Junhee said, alarmed at what the other was suggesting.

“would you be okay working with her?” Donghun asked again and Junhee could see he was going to bring up how Junhee was when he got back so he stopped him before he could say anything.

“I’ll be fine hyung. Let’s go. It’s not like we’ll have to meet up a lot.”

Donghun sighed but agreed. He was hoping things would work out for the best. But his gut feeling said otherwise.

#a.c.e smut #x1 smut #park junhee #kim wooseok #wooseok smut #a.c.e #a.c.e scenarios #a.c.e imagines #a.c.e jun #a.c.e junhee #x1 imagines #x1 scenarios #x1 wooseok #junhee smut #junhee imagines #wooseok imagines #kim wooseok imagines #ACEWRITERS

22 notes · View notes