#Saw a post about this

[ineffablyendless]

inspired by @magnusbae 's post about it here

KAITLYN:...andddd THAT was Kim Petras' and Sam Smith's Unholy, and you can stick it right to Andrew for requesting knowing damn fucking well it's two weeks too old to be relistened to again every goddamned time you turn the radio on. Good news is, you'll not be listening to ANY tunes for a good next 10 minutes or so, cus it's time for the obligatory radio host banter time

[AUTOMATED NOISE OF WHOOPS AND LOUD CHEERING]

ROSE: You can at least...TRY to sound a little more enthusiastic, Kate. You're the one getting paid to be here, between the two of us.

KAITLYN: And YOU can stand to be a little less sweet, Rosie, you're making the cynics in the studio feel bad.

ROSE: I'd say sorry if I didn't know that wasn't your default states

KAITLYN: (Laughs) There's the cheek it takes a blue moon to find! Folks, all 8 of our regular listeners, I know you're waiting for Hannah's routine Horoscope segment, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to be the one to break the news. She has, unfortunately, contracted COVID last month.

[AUTOMATED DISSAPOINTED "AWW-ING" NOISES]

ROSE: She's vaccinated, of course, take your shots guys!- and we're praying for her swift recovery. In a week or two, she'll be back here to answer your burning questions but in the mean time, that does mean we're down our usual reading segments.

KAITLYN: HOWEVER!

ROSE: Oh goodie.

KAITLYN: We WERE able to find a GUEST as a replacement this week, you'll never guess where we found him-

ROSE: I had this uncle, well, technically uncle, he owed me a couple of favours, it's this whole thing-

KAITLYN:-and it turns out he's an Oneirocritic, which is just bonkers-

ROSE: He's oneiro-something at least.

KAITLYN:-Which is really just a fancy word for a man who can read dreams, isn't that fantastic? This will be the first time I'm meeting him as well, actually, though he's waiting here in the studio, he'll be on in just a bit-

ROSE: If you're the sort to go through any of the student forums or your emails you'll have found we've opened shop for 3 dream-related questions to be answered this week. Thank you to everyone's who's pitched in their sensible questions, and if your question wasn't chosen for this week's segment, well, there's always Friday. I know we usually have a little twinkle going for Hannah, but that seemed a bit innapropriate for our new guest, so I hope you guys are alright with getting to know him first. Is that alright, Uncle Dream?

MORPHEUS:...I suppose it must be.

KAITLYN: (flustered) Oh my. Hello.

ROSE: I'm so glad you could make it, uncle Dream, I know how you're usually so busy and all.

MORPHEUS: I am. A man of my word, Rose Walker, and you speak truthfully of debts to be repaid. It is...the least I could do.

ROSE: Well, I appreciate it anyway. Would you like to introduce yourself to our listeners?

MORPHEUS: They know who I am. Men simply forget, in waking hours.

KAITLYN: Dyou, like, sorry. You don't happen to have an ASMR video account somewhere?

MORPHEUS:...I'm afraid I do not...?

ROSE: Ignore her, she's just a bit surprised is all, you have a really nice voice, is what she's trying to say.

MORPHEUS: (Amused) Do I? I am afraid it is a simple matter of perception, then, Rose Walker. I sound as the human mind would accept me to sound.

ROSE: She imagines you to sound really nice then. About the whole introduction thing-

MORPHEUS: Yes. Your listeners, dear Rose, my Dreamers, they are well-acquainted of me. I am the lull of their stubborn minds and the gentle wandering of passion-driven, soul-starved spirits, and I walk by your sides for a third of your lives. I need no more introduction as they would of an old friend.

ROSE: Well can they-can they know a name to call you? At least?

MORPHEUS: There is power. To names.

KAITLYN: It makes it easier for the records. You know. If we need to call you back.

ROSE: Which we probably dont need to by the end of the month.

KAITLYN: Do we have your number? Did you give your number to someone? Do you have one?

ROSE: It adds to the whole relatability thing too. And I've already called you Uncle Dream at least twice on-air, might be awkward for a bunch of strangers to refer you as uncle Dream for the next two segment's worth of questions, at least.

MORPHEUS: (Hums) You are of higher wisdom, then, of course, I concede. My names are vast, and many. Which would you prefer?

ROSE: Something simple? Easy? Maybe recognizable?

MORPHEUS: Recognizable. Yes. I suppose in such matters, my name you are most acquainted with in these times would be...the Sandman.

KAITLYN: The Sandman? Really?

ROSE: Aw, that's perfect, uncle Dream! It's my little brother's favourite bedtime story.

KAITLYN: Your nephew?

ROSE: I'm sure Jed'll love it Uncle Dream.

KAITLYN: Oh that is really cute. Shit.

ROSE: Ok Mr Sandman, are you ready for your first question?

MORPHEUS: I suppose I am, as you say, ready.

ROSE: Alright, so Mattie, 23 asks-

[annabelle--cane]

my high school chorus teacher had a class rule that's stuck with me where if you knew you couldn't emotionally handle getting rejected for a solo then you shouldn't audition for it in the first place. the same principle applies to sex, if you can't handle hearing "no" then absolutely do not ask.

[communistkenobi]

i can’t really think of anyone that most people in the US would have less general sympathy for than a dead health insurance CEO. like take all the bad things about corporate monopolies that you’d experience with like your phone or internet provider and then add on the financial incentive to let thousands of people die of preventable illnesses and then bill their families for it. literally an institution that automates social murder. even the most burgerpilled american must cheer for this man’s death

[mettywiththenotes]

Caitlyn: Viktor's at the center of all this, isn't he?

Jayce: *deep sigh* I miss my wife, Caitlyn. I miss him a lot.

[gibbearish]

love when ppl defend the aggressive monetization of the internet with "what, do you just expect it to be free and them not make a profit???" like. yeah that would be really nice actually i would love that:)! thanks for asking

[violent138]

Starting to think a cooler headcanon for Clark’s upbringing might just be that the entire town of Smallville collectively decided to just go with it and accept that Martha and John's kid has superpowers, but we don't talk about it.

Someone's tractor gets stuck and nothing can get it out? "Be a dear and run down to the Kents, would you? Ask for Clark?"

"Why Clark, we need a machine--"

"Run along now."

Or if he kicks too hard and the football vanishes into the upper stratosphere, no it didn't, we all collectively saw it land over there *vague hand movements*

[e8luhs]

it actually makes me so sad that people consume media where every character is kind of an asshole and they just entirely overly sanitize every character and every problem thats caused by the being kind of an asshole thing. i loooove conflict i love people who suck. i love people who are good people but also still kind of suck in some ways because they are a person. most importantly you all do not understand the comedic potential of characters being kind of shitty to eachother.

[kensatou]

"we know how to move our bodies, but i didn't know how to manage my heart, so you need help for this"

hi we need to talk more about judo gold medallist christa deguchi.

[allthatdivides2]

my dealer: got some straight gas 🔥😛 this strain is called “public transit” 😳💊 you’ll be going wherever you want for an affordable price 💯👨‍💻

me: yeah whatever i dont feel shit

5 min later: dude i swear the bus should have been here by now

random guy at the bus stop with me: the transit app is lying to us

[falimarcis]

We don’t talk enough about Marcille wearing elven clothes pre-canon. Falin would have died right then and there if she ever saw Marcille dressed like this

[blueskittlesart]

i think we all collectively moved on too quickly from hyrule warriors

[xshinina]

*Married life playing in the background

This idea was probably funnier in my head

[fruitydiaz]

this quote from brig is taking me out

[sassylittlecanary]

Read some actual comics, Kyle.

Superman is an incredibly kind and tender character. (If he’s not being written that way, then he’s not being written well.) He inspires hope not just through his heroics, but also through his kindness toward other people. That’s his thing. Don’t you DARE call tenderness a “weakness.” Get your toxic masculinity the hell away from me and go read a badly written Batman comic if you want a “tough” male character.

[palarien]

sketched this out at jury duty actually

[me-beef]

@strangeravatar made a great point

i was gonna focus on the spike-hotboxing-celestia aspect but i got distracted somewhere along the way and i think i forgot what joke i was trying to make

but dont you think its interesting how many guards of the exact same color/body type she's managed to accrue?? i do

ooohh you want to go look at our stickers so bad