#SORRY THIS TOOK WAY TO LONG TO POST

[returntosunder]

Ignore the fact that it’s not Christmas anymore

[k0mmari]

Sword Spirit AU - Xiu Ya (pt.1)

Hello hello! This is going to be a very very casual AU with the first half being dedicated to Xiu Ya(jiuyuan) and the other Xin Mo(bingyuan), so sit tight, relax, and maybe put on some Soul Eater in the background, because this is basically it.

This post is going to be VERY LONG, so sorry in advance ^^;;

It's finally time for Shen Jiu to go to Wan Jian Peak and get his spiritual sword, one of the final steps for his Shizun to finally, oficially, name him Head Disciple, even if the rest of Qing Jing will most likely fight Shizun in her decision.

It would be no surprise, ever since SJ stepped foot there, rumors have been spreading about him, usually about how he only got in so late due to Yue Qi's influence, or how he paid his way in as a young master (as if the rest of the disciples hadn't done exactly that) and thinks he's better than everyone, or how he never fights fair and uses underhanded methods during spars. All rumors don't hold a drop of truth in them of course, but SJ has better things to do than trying to clean his image to a bunch of spoiled brats.

It's not like any of them would believe him, anyways.

In all honesty, he'd rather not be Head Disciple at all, but this is the best way at getting to a secure enough spot that he won't have to worry as much about his safety, even if he will be forced to look after a bunch of children he couldn't care less about. Anyways, SJ's only hope now for something to go marginally right his way is for him to get a good sword.

He gets to the sword wall and, as luck would have it, he feels a pull, calling him to a beautiful sword: elegant, refined and everything SJ desperately hopes he can be.

SJ carefully pulls the sword out of the wall and immediatelly he can feel a connection forming, his slugish qi rushing into the blade and in exchange, a flash of bright, almost refreshing qi runs through him. For a moment his muscles relax as he feels the sword gently humming in his hand.

He walks away from the wall, a few of the other disciples that also had come to retrieve their spiritual sword already holding their own blades, but the only person that SJ cares to show his own sword stands a bit further away. His ever aloof Shizun and... Yue Qi, who was not invited, but decided to come anyways. Great.

YQ wastes no time in praising his sword and how it's a perfect fit for 'Xiao-Jiu' (which only earns him a nasty side-eye), but SJ controls his urge to bite the other boy and focuses on his Shizun. She merely send the sword a glance, unimpressed, and instead says "Disciple Shen has now a spiritual blade of his own. He will get to know his blade, which will aid him with his... cultivation problems, but also raise his cultivation to new heights."

SJ grinds his teeth, not wanting to be reminded about his shitty cultivation, but thankfully, Shizun doesn't dwell on the topic. "When Disciple Shen fully becomes one with his sword, the blade will reward him and show it's true self. It is only then that Disciple Shen will become a truly honorable cultivator."

True... Self? With a subtle glance, SJ confirms even YQ looks a bit surprised, apparently also never haven heard about a swords 'true self', but Shizun doesn't ellaborate any further on it, instead moving on as if she hadn't said anything special, and turning to head back to Qing Jing, uncaring if any other disciples weren't done getting their swords yet.

She unsheathes her own spiritual sword, intending on letting her disciples walk all the way back, but before setting off, she turns towards SJ. "Disciple Shen, the name of your sword."

SJ huffs but brings his sword closer, and reads the engraving on the base of the blade. "...Xiu Ya."

Just as SJ finishes reading the name out loud, the sword starts violently vibrating, catching SJ and his Shizun off guard, and it flings itself off of SJ's hands, flying a short distance before it stabbed the ground.

SJ's hands are left hanging in the air where he once held the sword, frozen stiff in his shock. It certainly doesn't help that is Shizun, who is never phased and now looks visibly shocked, mutters to herself: "I... didn't know a sword could do that."

.........Great.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

A week after the whole... situation on Wan Jian, SJ is now convinced his spiritual sword hates him.

It just... doesn't do anything he wants it to do! If his Shizun orders him to spar with another disciple with it, Xiu Ya could randomly just fling itself out of his hand, or physically pull him in another direction when he is speaking with another disciple, and no matter how Shizun instructs him to send his qi to the blade, to 'connect' with it, Xiu Ya refuses to cooperate, one day even straight up denying his qi.

Unbeknownst to SJ, his sword is no longer a regular spiritual blade, and actually a host for a recently deceased Shen Yuan, who woke up from his sleep to his new owner pulling him out of the wall and promptly panicked when he heard his name be declared Xiu Ya, which could only mean his new owner was none other than the scum villain himself, SQQ.

It was then and there that SY decided it would be now his life's mission to stop any evil wrongdoings a teenage SQQ must get up to. (It translated to him flinging himself out of SJ's hand any time he felt himself getting too close to another disciple's skin, or vibrating angrily when SJ started to insult someone.)

SJ takes Xiu Ya to his Shizun, and even to Wan Jian's Peak Lord, to check if there's something wrong with his sword, or if he had done soemthing wrong, but both reassure him that the sword is fine, and it must be testing him, urging him to 'clear his heart' to better connect with it.

SJ, feeling like his chance at being Head Disciple is slipping through his fingers the longer he can't get a hold of his own sword, it's supposed to obey him, tends more often than not to... argue with it. It, of course, only creates more rumours about him and his 'cursed sword', but he doesn't have time for this, and he won't let a piece of metal ruin his chances at rising up the ranks.

Everything starts to change one fateful day where everything just seems to go wrong all at once for SJ: His Shizun goes away in a three-day long mission, which leaves him the responsability to look after the peak, and none of the other disciples are willing to make it easy for him, constantly getting in his way, purposefully waisting his time and straight up insulting him to his face.

Yue Qi even tries to grace SJ with his presence, but it takes him no longer than 5 minutes before he manages to say the wrong thing, and it takes even less for it to snowball into SJ expelling him from the peak unless the whole Sect is set on fire. It gets so bad even SY, usually happy to mostly daydream where he sits sheathed at SJ's waist, takes note of it, and gets a bit concerned for the boy.

SY already notices SJ's spiritual veins where all sorts of messed up, but it only becomes relevant when he notices his qi heading straight towards a qi deviation, and no matter how SY tries to vibrate and wiggle, it only seems to upset SJ even further and by the end of the day, as SY suspected, SJ hides away at the bamboo house and falls to the floor, gasping through a qi deviation.

He'd usually just tough his qi deviations out, or pass them at the Warm Red Pavillion, but now he isn't even afforded the mercy of being to suffer alone, as some disciple might come looking for his 'help', and he'd be damned if someone snitched on him to Shizun for not doing his duty as (unnoficial) Head Disciple.

SY, as much as he doesn't really like SJ, for once understands SJ's constant state of frustration when the moment the Peak Lord leaves, his peers treat him like this, and no matter how shitty SJ is- or, rather, may become in the future, SY can't stand being idle as he watches the boy shaking on the floor, gasping in pain.

It's a bit awkward but SY manages to make himself float over towards SJ's trembling body, trying his best to project his own energy outward and reach towards SJ. It's there for only a second, but SY manages to feel a similar connection to when SJ first picked him up, and SY can feel, in a weird flash, the mix of emotions swirling in SJ's soul: his anger, his frustration, but most importantly his deeply rooted sadness, and fear.

It's not really an explanation for why SJ acts the way he does, but SY can understand when a child lashes out in fear when that's all they know. He reaches into SJ's qi, carefully patting it down and soothing it until SJ finally stops trembling and slumps onto the ground, knocked out.

Maybe... Maybe Shen Yuan was in the wrong, and Shen Jiu deserves a second chance.

[screambirdscreaming]

Something that peeves me whenever I see another post going around with some variation on "autistic people take things literally which means we are the only people who communicate Clearly and Directly" is that - for any given statement, there is not one singular, agreed on, universal Literal Interpretation. If there was, none of this would be a problem!

The nature of language is that there's always some degree of interpretability. Words have several different meanings, often overlapping, and there's nuance of context, cultural references, and so on.

Faced with a statement, most people will quickly come up with an interpretation that to them makes the most sense. But if you asked a roomful of people to explain in detail their interpretations, everyone's would probably be a little different, even for a pretty simple statement. Regardless of whether those people are autistic! Everyone conceptualizes the world a little differently, and everyone has a unique personal history of all the language they've encountered, and these things effect our interpretations.

In order for communication to be workable, given this slosh in interpretability, there's another couple of processes that go on. As conversation goes on, people reassess if their initial interpretation matches up with additional context. If it doesn't, they revise it, or ask clarifying questions. And on the flipside of this process, the other person in conversation is tracking if your reactions make sense with *their* understanding of what they're trying to convey to you, and offering context or rephrasing things if it seems you're out of alignment.

These processes are social skillsets that are, like most social skillsets, not ever directly articulated or explained. Many people are bad at one or both. Sometimes you encounter someone who is really, notably good at it - the vaunted "good listener", who puts in the effort to really understand what you're trying to say, or that really excellent teacher who engages with you back and forth until you really get it. But a lot of the time, it's a sort of passive social friction - people just not getting each other.

Sometimes, you encounter someone whose brain works so much like yours that talking to them feels almost effortless - you just get each other. But that's a pretty rare occurrence for anyone. More often, as you get to know someone, you start to understand the shape of the way they interpret things and learn to account for it, so over time it's easier to make sense to each other.

It's honestly not uncommon in society for people to aggregate in groups of people who interpret things similarly, and who are thus easier to talk to, rather than actually building the skills of communicating across interpretation gaps. Particularly egregious are those groups of men who talk about Women as an incomprehensible monolith, but it turns up to a greater or lesser degree on a lot of levels.

I suspect this is the root of a lot of parenting problems - people who have never built this communication skillset, and relied on choosing friends who make sense to them without a lot of effort, and who are then totally unprepared to interact with a child who interprets things in ways they don't expect.

Obviously I can't speak to The Universal Typical Experience, not least because it doesn't exist. But in general I would posit that:

Most people, give or take a few assholes, are not trying to say things that are confusing. Most people think they are communicating clearly, because the first interpretation *they* would come up with on hearing one of their own sentences is the correct interpretation.

Many people are not very good at accounting for different ways people could interpret things they're saying. However, it is normal and polite social behavior to be somewhat flexible about this and forgiving of misunderstandings. If people are being shitty to you about not understanding them, they are assholes. And I wouldn't assume that the rest of the communication they have with everyone else they know goes totally smoothly for them.

I suspect there is a bit of an unfortunate feedback loop, where people have bad experiences when someone gets mad at them for not getting something, and learn to hide when they're confused. Which then leads to larger, more complicated misunderstandings, which other different people get upset at them about, because those people think they should have asked for clarification in the first place.

Truly you can't win with everyone. No one can win with everyone. There is no monolith of "neurotypical communication" which resolves all these contradictions - all those people you're lumping in together under "neurotypical" have just as much trouble with each other.

[orbitsuns]

[pikapitou]

the world where eddie calls and he's a little breathless and scared but so so excited and is like. Buck. I've been thinking a lot. while I've been here. and I think—no. I know I am. I'm gay. and buck on the other end experiencing his very last defense against the In Love With Eddie Allegations being decimated by the Eddie Is Gay atomic bomb is just like. Wow. That's Great, Man. Gotta Go Bye! and eddie who went into this phone call assuming they'd end it deciding on a date for their wedding bc clearly and obviously they've been in love with each other for seven whole years. is like. What?

[starscream-is-my-wife]

A bit ago I was looking through the g1 timeline wiki and I saw that Skyfire and Starscream now had a 5 million year old age gap and I was like oh? That makes their dynamic so much more interesting especially how innocent he was portrayed in fire in the sky, I also wanted to share my hc on why Skyfire never brought up Starscream again

[thatguylainey]

ITS DONE

This game forever changed my brain chemistry. I think about them every day

[anothersuperstition]

will you welcome your extinction in the morning rays?

[bluedemented]

6h 48m - finished on dec 5th 2023

☆ kobra kid ☆

part 4 of 4 of my killjoys series

[noxemma]

First comes love a kid(napping), then comes a marriage ... Yeah, they're definitely doing things in the wrong order, but maybe, if they're lucky, they can figure out how to reverse their way into something real.

Parts 1&2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 |

———

Okay, not sure how much I actually like this part or not but I’m kind of over fighting it (bc I have ideas for the next part) so hopefully it’s good for y’all

——— Even with Dean insisting they stick as close to the messy truth as possible, it's almost too easy to fabricate their fictional relationship. They decide that Dean had been waiting at the corner for Sam when he'd seen Jack looking very confused and offered to give him directions. Cas had stumbled upon them as Jack was leaning into the open door to see the map Dean has pulled up, but mistook Dean for a would-be kidnapper. After yanking Jack away, Cas had given Dean a scathing tongue-lashing only to be corrected by Jack and Sam, who'd been asking Cas a question after class. At the defense of both his son and trusted student, Cas had realized his mistake and apologized to Dean. Then, feeling bad for assuming the worst of Dean, Cas had offered to buy him dinner and Dean has accepted. Given the chance to start over, Dean and Cas hit things off. They'd been dating for over a year before Dean had proposed to both Jack and Cas over his famous homemade burgers and pie just a few days before coming to the wedding.

It's a good story. So good that Dean half wants to believe it himself. And the craziest part is that it just might work. Cas doesn't have social media at all, and Dean only uses his to post pictures of the cars he's restored or currently working on. No one would question why Jack hadn't mentioned Dean because no one, aside from Cas' brother Gabriel, had ever met or interacted with Jack. And they'd agreed to tell Gabriel that they'd been keeping the relationship on the down low because Sam was Cas' student. Gabriel apparently lived for juicy gossip so that tidbit plus the knowledge that their engagement was a ruse to make Cas’ parents lay off the custody concerns would probably keep him off their backs, at least according to Cas.

"Okay, I think we've got the backstory down pat," Dean says, pasting on a mask of a smile as he faces the last elephant in the room. "Now, the only thing we have to go over is, um, believable details." "What do you mean?" Cas asks, head tilting adorably again.

"Well, uh. Like ..." Dean tries to think of something that won't be nearly as embarrassing or suggestive as what he's thinking, "Oh, okay. Well, I saw you have some tattoos. I do too. I have an anti-possession sigil here on my chest, I have Baby's grill on the back of my shoulder, a whole mess of less meaningful stuff on my arm, except for the baseball cap. That one is for Bobby. Oh, and the Superman and Batman one's in there are for me and Sam. Long story that involves pretending we were superheroes, broken arms, and taking Sam to the ER on the handlebars of my bike. And I want to get more." Cas' eyes trail across his clothed chest like he can see the ink underneath and heat suffuses Dean's cheeks.

Fuck! I really need my body to stop doing this every time he looks at me for more than five consecutive seconds. Although maybe people will actually believe we're in love if he keeps making me blush so easily, Dean thinks.

"Hmmm, I think I understand what you mean," Cas hums, not helping Dean's blush go away at all, "There are certain things that people who have been intimate with each other would know, such as the placement and meaning of tattoos."

"Yeah," Dean manages to choke out, because, Jesus, Cas was really staring at him, and he was about one minute from squirming in his seat like a horny teenager under the attention. "Something like that."

"I have some lines of Enochian across my ribs. It's an ancient, dead language that some scholars have hypothesized was the language of angels," Dean shoots Cas a grateful look for explaining right away so he doesn't feel stupid for having to ask. "The only other tattoos I have are a pair of wings that start at between my shoulder blades and spread down the back of each arm. I admit that I have been considering getting another one or two, but finding the time is challenging. I'd love to see yours at some point, if you don't mind of course."

"Fuck no, I don't mind!" Dean blurts a little too eagerly and he forces himself to take a breath before continuing, "And, if you're willing, I'd love to see yours too. Those wings sound amazing." "Of course. I'm very proud of them," Cas replies with a little nod, fingers fiddling with holes in the cuffs of his hoodie.

Silence settles between them for a few seconds as the sounds of Ramblin' Man fade, replaced briefly by a hum marking the end of the cassette. Dean hits the eject button but doesn't replace it. "I probably should have asked this sooner, and I know you agreed to this, but I would never want to assume-" "Just spit it out, Cas. Contrary to what my brother might think, I'm actually pretty damn hard to offend," Dean teases, trying to ease the obvious anxious cloud beginning to coalesce in the passenger seat. "You are interested in men, right? And single? I mean I was just thinking that, well, we'll have to act like we're in love, like we're engaged, which will probably require at the very least hand holding and- What exactly about that is so funny?" Dean can't help it. It's nearing one in the morning and he's too tired from driving almost six hours straight with only piss breaks to keep from cracking up at the hilarity that is Cas asking his relationship status and sexual orientation this far in. "You are, man," Dean wheezes, wiping tears from his eyes as he manages to regain control of himself. "We've already thought up a whole backstory and driven several hundred miles and now you're asking me if I even like dick? You have to admit it pretty damn funny." Cas’ face is serious and unmoving when Dean sneaks a peek at him, but then he hears the softest snort and he cracks up all over again, laughing so hard his stomach aches when Cas finally does join in. "So? Are you? 'Into dick'?" Cas asks after they're both mostly recovered, though his use of air quotes almost sets Dean off again.

"Yeah. Though I’m not strictly into sick. I'm bi. Although, I've never been in a serious relationship with a guy before so this will all still be kind of new to me."

"If it makes you feel better, neither have I," Cas admits. Instinct has Dean opening his mouth to make some joke about how someone as gorgeous as Cas had to have people lining up around the block to date him but the streetlights whizzing by illuminate a faraway look in Cas' eyes, a type of longing Dean could never put a name to but knows intimately. "We'll figure it out together," he offers instead, daring to reach his hand out to give Cas' a squeeze. "I'm sure we will," Cas murmurs and Dean can hear the slight smile as he flips his hand, lacing their fingers together and squeezing back. "Hmm. I suppose we should talk about PDA. I'm just along for the ride here, so whatever you want to do, I'm down for," Dean offers, probably a touch to enthusiastically but he bats the worry away, focusing instead on the heat of Cas' palm against his. Cas seems to ponder his statement, absently starting to rub his thumb across Dean's wrist and up the side of his thumb as he thinks. Dean damn near melts at the touch. It's so gentle and sweet and weirdly intimate and those are things he hasn't had in a long while.

He hadn't had much time to date on the road, plus John would probably have killed him if he'd found him fooling around with another guy, and then he'd been busy trying to raise Sam. He'd been content with one-night stands and a little fun every now and again, but now he wanted more. He just didn't know how to find it or worse, how to ask for it.

Maybe that's why I want to do this so bad, why I suggested being fiancés in the first place. Maybe this is as close as I'll get to the real thing.

"Hmm. I didn't really think about public displays of affection. My family has never been big on them; Gabriel of course is the exception as he is for many things. Plus, as I mentioned earlier, they are extremely religious and, no matter how much I disagree with them, I don't really want to antagonize them by throwing my queerness in their faces." "Noted. Do not make out sloppily in front of the parents no matter how funny it would be."

"Dean!" Cas lets out an exasperated sigh and Dean just knows he's rolling his eyes. "Sorry. Jokes aside, you want minimal PDA. Is like, hugging and holding hands, okay?" Dean asks because he has to know. He prays that Cas says yes, that he will have an excuse to touch and be touched like this again. "Yes, that's fine. And I'm sure that we'll have to kiss at some point to really sell the fake relationship to Gabriel ..." Cas trails off. His free hand comes up to his face and his fingertips ghost over his lips.

Is he thinking about kissing me? Dean wonders, his heart picking up pace as he definitely thinks about Cas and how his full lips might feel. "I'm sure I would survive having to kiss you," Dean whispers. He means for it to come out as a joke, something to jolt them both out of the weird tension that has begun building and winding between them, skittering back and forth across their connected hands.

But it doesn't come out sounding like a joke at all. At least not to Dean's ears. No, to Dean it sounds exactly like what it is: a lie.

Dean is saved from however Cas was going to respond to that by the thwak thwak thwak of Baby's wheels hitting the rumble strip and he jerks his gaze and the wheel away from Cas' profil back towards the center of the road. "Are you okay, Dean?" Cas blurts, concern clear and genuine. "Yeah, yeah. Uh, sorry about that. I gotta put in another tape so I don't fall asleep or start hallucinating sheep on the road or something,” Dean spews.

The rest of the drive is relatively silent, though, to Dean’s utter shock, it's not uncomfortable. Probably because Cas keeps his hand in Dean's but he's not going to question it, not when he's fighting to keep his eyes open.

It's near three in the morning when Cas finally gives the last direction and they pull up to the fanciest hotel Dean has ever seen.

He drops Cas off to get checked in while he hunts down a parking spot in the hotel garage.

It isn’t until opens the back to get their luggage that he realizes his mistake.

He’s so used to traveling light with Sam that he forgot just how much luggage there could be.

He pulls out Cas' rolling bag, determined that it should come in. He also grabs Cas' wedding gift, just because the large wrapped box would probably draw the wrong kind of attention and he didn't want to risk it no matter how much security the swanky hotel had.

Tucking the box under one arm and gripping Cas' bag with his hand left him with one free hand to choose between Cas' briefcase, his duffle, the suits, or the boxes of their fancy shoes that Cas had also purchased at Kendricks. Dean sighs, knowing there is really only one choice, and fumbles with his free hand to wrestle out the small bag that has his toiletries. He shoves it in his pants pocket before gently sliding out the suits, folding them gently over his arm so they wrinkle as little as possible and then reaching in to clutch Cas' briefcase in his fingers. He's pretty sure he looks like some kind of urban scarecrow as he makes his way out of the parking garage and into the hotel, but he tries not to let it bother him.

The hotel is so big and confusing that he gets lost a few times before being pointed in the right direction by a tattoo shop that's just closing down for the night.

"Gotta love Vegas. This is the real city that never sleeps," he mutters blearily before perking up when he finally spots Cas standing by a counter. Cas is fuming when Dean comes to a stop next to him, whisper-shouting into his phone before slamming it on the counter and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Wha's wrong, Cas?" "My idiot brother, is what's wrong," Cas groans. Dean must look super pathetic as he blinks stupidly at Cas because he takes pity on him and elaborates. "He didn't think I was actually bringing a plus one, so he only booked me for a single room."

"O-" Dean yawns so wide that he thinks he hears his jaw pop, "Kay. So, what's the problem?"

"There's only one bed, Dean," Cas splutters

“Cas, babe. That's not a bad thing." "It's not?" Cas asks and Dean doesn't see the pink that begins to emerge the other man’s face as he fails to stifle another yawn. "No, if anything it'll, it'll just solidify our story." "Oh, right. Our story."

Dean frowns at the way Cas' shoulders droop but he doesn't have enough brain cells to process the conundrum of Cas being upset at having to share a bed, then upset that they're only sharing the bed to further the plot of their fake relationship. Dean blinks again and when he opens his eyes Cas is standing in front of a door, wedding present now under one of his arms as the other swipes the plastic card to admit them into the suite.

The room is huge compared to the dinky motels he and Sam grew up in. Dean hangs the suits up in the closet before really taking the time to admire the space.

"Damn. This place is nice," Dean says to no one in particular.

"It should be for what Gabriel is paying for it," Cas mutters, hefting his bag onto a chair and digging through it for something.

Dean leaves him to it, turning to snag the remote off a desk and turn on the giant TV positioned perfectly in front of the bed. He flips through channels until he hits on Forensic Files. It was stupid that the grainy show gave him comfort in an area he felt so out of place in. Every dingy hotel or moral that has a TV got Forensic Files and too many sleepless nights with it being the only thing to keep him company as he watched over Sam and waited for their Dad to wander back from the bar had made it feel like home. Dean allows himself to flop stomach first onto the mattress, not even trying to hold back the moan that escapes at its plushness. Cas says something too him and he grunts in affirmation, but he has no clue what Cas said, too busy enjoying the deep cushion of the mattress and being lulled to sleep by the rerun on the screen.

He almost thinks it's a dream when a new noise causes him to turn his head and he sees Cas exit the bathroom, dark hair spilling droplets of water down his bare chest, flannel pants slung low on his hips giving Dean a perfect view. His eyes glide greedily over the lines of inked writing placed just across the lower left side of his ribs, which naturally draws Dean's attention to sharp hip bones and the hint of a happy trail.

All his blood rushes south and Dean drops his face into the mattress, thankful that it can hide his hard on

"Dean?" Cas whispers. "'m awake, just restin' m'eyes," Dean mumbles through the comforter. "Oh, well, I'm done in the bathroom if you need to use it." Dean makes an ambiguous noise, strategically waiting until he hears Cas move toward the head of the bed before he rolls off and makes as fast a beeline for the bathroom as he can without being suspicious.

Once he's safe inside with the door locked, Dean contemplates his options. Which is to say, he can walk back out with a boner, or he can take a cold shower because he sure as hell isn't jacking off with Cas on the bed just beyond the door.

He sighs and turns the shower on to cold. He shucks his clothes quickly and forces himself under the frigid spray before he can chicken out, cussing and shivering the whole time.

He turns the spray to warm once he's flaccid again and he is finally able to appreciate the luxury of the rain shower head.

Dean's so relaxed by the time he finally turns off the water that it isn't until he's stepping onto the tiled bathroom floor and wrapping a towel around his waist that he realizes his predicament.

"Son of a bitch!" "Dean? Is everything okay?" Cas calls with sleepy concern, the sound getting loud enough that Dean knows he must be waiting just on the other side of the door for Deans reply. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm- Well ... no. I uh. Well, we had so many bags and things and I figured your stuff and the suits were more important and-" Dean cuts his babbling off and forces himself to get to the point. "I left my bag in the car, and I don't have anything to change into."

There is silence for a moment and Dean's stomach clenches. Then Dean hears Cas going deeper into the room before returning again. The door opens and his hand appears holding a bundle of fabric.

"Cas, what-?"

"I'm a bit of an anxious packer so I always have a spare set of everything. These should do for tonight and we can get your bag in the morning. And before you argue, we're already sharing a bed so what's sharing clothes. Just think of it as getting into character for being fake fiancés."

Dean can't really argue against that so he accepts the clothing and gently shuts the door.

It turns out that Cas had handed him some grey sweats and a pair of neon orange boxer briefs. He tries not to think about Cas wearing them as he pulls them on but fails miserably and he's half hard by the time he yanks on the sweats. They're a little short and a little snug but way better than having to pull on his dirty clothes or sleep in the towel, no matter how plush it is. He fishes the toiletry bag out of his discarded jeans and brushes his teeth longer and more forcefully than normal as he tries to will his dick to stand down metaphorically and literally. Finally, he's as ready as he can be and he slips out of the bathroom into dimly lit room. Turns out Dean didn't need to worry at all because Cas is passed out on the left side of the bed. He must have nodded off waiting for Dean because he's sitting against the headboard with his head flopped onto his shoulder, a small trickle of drool crusting as it dried on his chin. He looks so adorable and it reminds Dean of when Sam would fall asleep studying. Only Dean's heart didn't do an entire acrobatics routine at the sight of a drooling Sam.

"Cas, sweetheart," Dean breathes, "Can we get you under the blankets?" Cas groans and mutters something unintelligible without opening his eyes or moving an inch. Dean chuckles and starts pulling the blanket out, managing to get him tucked under the sheets and comforter in a few minutes. Once he's under the blanket Cas shimmies himself down to snuggle into the pillows. Dean takes one more moment to admire him before he turns out the side light and slides in on his own side.

His eyes feel like they’re holding the world but he manages a brief, mostly coherent text to Sam.

Dean: Made it to hotel ok. How as Jack?

Sam likes his message and it's all Dean can do to keep his eyes open until the blinking dots turn into text.

Sam: Jack and I are great. He really is a good kid, super smart and kind. Dean: Course he is. Well call and chek in in the AM

Dean doesn't wait for Sam's reply, just slips the phone back onto the nightstand and waits for his usual struggle to fall asleep, bracing himself for it to be worse because he's in a new place on top of sleeping in the same bed as someone.

He wouldn't necessarily label himself as an insomniac, he just happens to usually only get between four and six hours of sleep. Probably shoulda warned Cas about that. Should ask him if he's a morning or night person. And if he's a heavy sleeper or if the TV will wake him up. Should ask him if he likes coffee or... Dean falls asleep making a list of all the things he wants to know about Cas.

---

Something wakes Dean, but he can't pinpoint exactly what it is and then he forgets to look for it because the pillow in his arms is warm, and soft and smells like heaven.

Dean keeps his eyes closed as he wiggles closer to the pillow, breathing in deeply in hopes of drowning in the clean yet somehow spicy smell.

Then the pillow moves, pressing back closer into his chest and Dean realizes that somehow in the night he'd ended up spooning Cas.

And now he was stuck. Frozen with one of his arms bent beneath his head while the other was draped across Cas' torso, fingers brushing just above his belly button, his nose ghosting the inked ridge of Cas' shoulder, and his hips and cock flush against the curve of Cas' ass. Dean slams his eyes shut again as if not seeing will somehow magically take his erection away or keep Cas from waking up to find that Dean had turned into a handsy creep during the night.

Fuck. Okay, don't panic, let’s start by just slowly scooch-

"Holy shit balls, he’s real!"

Dean cracks his eyes a sliver and searches for the source of the voice. He sees a man shorter than Cas with shoulder length dirty blonde hair, holding a phone above him and, presumably, snapping pictures of him doing his best impression of an octopus.

"Honest to god, I was eighty seven percent sure that Cas had made you up,” the voice appears to mutter to itself. “Okay, one for evidence, one for the baby book, and one for blackmail.” Dean is about to open his mouth and tell this weirdo to get lost or get wrecked when he feels Cas move, rearranging the tiniest bit so he can maneuver his head up to pin the man with what Dean assumes is a death glare by how the guy freezes in place. "Gabriel, I swear, if you wake him,” Cas growls. The sound is so deep and vicious and protective that Dean can feel the reverberations of it in his own chest.

“Castiel, is that any way to talk to your favorite brother?” Gabriel replies, though his voice is softer. “I was coming to pre game brunch but it looks like you actually slept for once. Should I be worried you’re dying?”

“No,” Cas hisses, irritated voice barely above a whisper. “I just sleep better with Dean. Now, get out before I make you!”

“And how do you plan on doing that my dear, baby brother? You going to sic your beefcake here on me?”

“Worse. I will revoke all fun uncle privileges and I will move into a shitty apartment where Jack will be miserable and you’ll have to sleep on the couch when you visit.”

Gabriel gasps like he’s really been scandalized, and Dean can hear his footsteps retreating.

“The photos Gabriel, I want them-”

Dean is sure that Cas meant to say he wanted them deleted or gone but Gabriel interrupts before Cas can finish the command.

“No problemo, boss. Done! Cute pics of a tatted hunk wrapped around you signed, sealed, and delivered to your phone. Don’t be late for brunch! If you leave me alone too long unsupervised I may just lose my senses and murder a few of our relatives and then you’ll have to bail me out of jail.”

“Get. Out,” Cas snarls and Dean hears something soft hit the wall in Gabriel’s general direction before the door clicks open then shut.

“Dude, your brother is weird,” Dean whispers before he does something selfish like pretend he’s still asleep and continue to subject Cas to his morning wood. He pulls away from Cas but stops when Cas’ hand clamps around the one Dean had slung around his waist.

“Wait, please don’t- You don’t have to-,” Cas starts before giving up and releasing Dean’s hand. “I’m sorry Gabriel woke you. I get the feeling that, like me, you don’t sleep much.”

“Borderline-insomniacs of a feather?” Dean quips to cover the way he immediately halts the retreat he never wanted to initiate.

Dean can’t breathe when he feels Cas laugh, still close enough that the sound echoes across his body as well, warm and tingly and so alive.

“Is- Are you- Do you mind this?” Cas asks, voice quiet and unsure and nothing like the confident growl it had been earlier.

“Do I mind? Cas, I should probably be asking you that since it wasn’t your dick jabbing into my backside this morning. I’m sorry for that by the way, but that should have been a pretty clear indication that I didn’t mind at all and maybe even enjoyed cuddling a little too much.”

“There’s really nothing to apologize for, Dean; it’s a natural response. But responding naturally to stimuli is not the same thing as wanting or enjoying it, so I just wanted to make sure.”

Dean didn’t know how to respond to that and the implication he could clearly read in between Cas’ words. Rage boiled in his veins at the idea that someone might have touched Cas, or worse, without his consent and he nearly drew blood with how tightly he was biting down on his lip.

“I didn’t mind, by the way, so please don’t think that you, that you somehow took advantage of me or something. I wasn’t lying when I told Gabriel I slept better with you here. This is probably the first time in over a month I’ve gotten over five consecutive hours of sleep,” Cas confesses.

“Five? What time is it?”

“It’s around …” Cas checks his phone on the nightstand, “Nine-thirty.”

“Damn. That’s almost unheard of for me. Sam would probably ask if I’m dying too,” Dean admits.

They go silent, content to let each other steal a few more selfish moments in bed. Finally though, Cas let’s out a groan and rolls away from Dean, huffing something about stupid brunches under his breath.

Dean doesn’t have time to be devastated by the loss because Cas immediately sits up and stretched his arms, unintentionally giving Dean a glorious and unobstructed view of the magnificent wings decorating his shoulders and arms.

He can’t help himself, reaching out and lightly stroking one of the photorealistic feathers, awe and wonder possessing him to caress and admire.

Cas back muscle ripples beneath the touch and he turns his head slowly to look over his shoulder. His eyes latch onto Dean’s fingers, still just brushing his skin as if Cas is some holy figure he shouldn’t be daring to touch, tracing the trail of his arm all the way up to his face.

Blue eyes ensnare Dean and he wouldn’t be able to look away even if he wanted to. Something taut and coiled begins to warm between them, getting so hot it scorches the air from Dean’s lungs and strips him of all rational thought.

He’s just about to lean forward and do something reckless like place a kiss on one of those magnificent feathers while maintaining direct eye contact when Cas’ phone starts ringing, startling them both away to their respective edges of the bed.

———

@colorlessjay @destielfangirl24

[cent-scratchnsniff]

hoptal

[kokostardust]

HI YOUR ART MAKES ME LITERALLY JUMP AROUND IN CIRCLES AND I WAS WONDERING ID YOU TAKE REQUESTS?

IF YOU DO TAKE REQUESTS MAY I SEE SOME BABY TARANZA AND BABY MAGS INTERACTIONPURDY PURDY PLZ!?!?? /NF

ALSO COULD WE MAYBE BE FRIENDS? YOURE REALLY COOL I THINK

AWWWWWW I'M GLAD IT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!!! 😭😭💙💙💙💙 I'm currently closed on my requests now, but you did ask before I closed, so I did drew you some Baby Taranza and Baby Magolor interactions!!!🥹🩵🫧✨💙

AAAA THANK YOU! 💙 Sure we can be friends :3🩵✨🫧

[iridescentmirrorsgenshin]

do you think alhaitham is a yearner for kaveh or the other way around

Anon thank you so much for this ask <3 it turns out that this is more complicated than I thought. since alhaitham is so embarrassingly obvious, I think kaveh’s own version of ‘yearning’ can be overlooked, so thank you for giving me an opportunity to explore both! I am using your ask as an excuse to show how embarrassing alhaitham is, he has no shame!! therefore i've had to split this answer into two posts!

alhaitham essentially building his life around kaveh being a part of it is ultimate down bad behaviour:

the house: alhaitham’s character stories give us very little about alhaitham’s life after his fallout with kaveh and his graduation. we’re told that he moves out of his grandmother’s house to move into the research facility gifted to him and kaveh? and it’s only after he moves in that he’s told by a third-party that kaveh has no need for the property, so only then does he convert the property into a house

So it seems he moved in with some expectation of encountering kaveh at some point, especially considering it was their joint property. There’s no reason given why he opted to move out of his grandmother’s house but I think it's interesting that kaveh’s character stories detail that a house is not a home without other occupants who understand him without words, which causes him to sell his parents’ house as he was the only occupant, which parallels with alhaitham moving out of a house in which he also is the sole occupant, into a property which ties him and kaveh together

The bulletin boards/academic journals: although it isn’t specified who made the first journal critique, if it falls in line with alhaitham incessantly responding to all of kaveh’s bulletin board points, I’d like to think that alhaitham reached out first here, just as he moved into their joint property without actually knowing that kaveh had no use for it – although they had separated at this point, regardless of who reached out first, alhaitham was still actively pursuing kaveh’s perspective here, as this was the only instance of kaveh being in his life… oh….

during the archon quest: alhaitham mentioning kaveh without any prompt whatsoever lives in my head, even more so that this seems to be a musing that he didn’t even mean to say out loud? Sick!!

And when kaveh eventually returns, alhaitham says that he doesn’t want to have to explain the whole thing to kaveh, so he should leave the house of daena before kaveh returns, but he doesn’t?

Special mention of the gathering in the grand bazaar where alhaitham equates his own happiness to that of the people of the gathering, and then immediately mentions how he must have taken both keys leaving the house, indicating that another reason for his happiness increased because kaveh has returned, and that his way of life has been maintained - meaning that kaveh is one of his priorities (i brainrot more about this here)

Alhaitham’s story quest: the motif of kaveh ensuring alhaitham’s content is returned to with force in alhaitham’s story quest with establishing kaveh as someone alhaitham chooses not to be objective about, with kaveh being framed as alhaitham’s priority

(additionally, this expression, absolutely criminal)

kaveh’s hangout and voice lines: kaveh is shown once again to be an exception to alhaitham’s objectivity, as alhaitham inserts himself into kaveh’s ‘fate’ to offer him a place to stay when kaveh’s choices led him to selling his house, having no place to go – this overturns alhaitham’s principle of being uninvolved with people’s fates, and pulling kaveh back to shore, as opposed to standing on the sidelines

kaveh’s hangout is really special to me as it showcases alhaitham’s whole understanding of kaveh, not only his inner psyche, but also how to secure kaveh’s happiness through an indirect action, as kaveh’s heart meter increases once seeing the response a student wrote to his annotations, it demonstrates that alhaitham’s care towards kaveh is most explicitly shown with actions

a parade of providence: alhaitham becomes the event's commentator solely to investigate Sachin to see if he influenced kaveh’s father, attempting to give kaveh closure and alleviate his self-destructive mindset. in the same vein, alhaitham leaves kaveh note that in a language the two learnt together for their thesis commenting on kaveh's ideologies and how it can lead to suffering.

this really solidifies that alhaitham's care is demonstrated in actions, and that a shift in communication is needed to properly show this. It’s here that alhaitham’s actions are the most explicit, and this leads to the major improvement in their relationship (which i explore more in detail here)

cyno's second story quest: thank you for chronic book gripper alhaitham reading his book when kaveh is out of the living room, and immediately putting it down when kaveh enters and begins telling alhaitham about his day, for alhaitham to encourage.

the animation that was so essential for the devs to include of alhaitham watching kaveh sketch when kaveh’s back was turned is such a comic example of yearning, it’s actually ridiculous

also alhaitham smiling when being asked to stay in the house of daena to work with kaveh??

alhaitham is one big yearner, he is that guy and he has no interest in beating the allegations!

the second part of this answer will explore kaveh's version of yearning!

[starssoblue]

i'm teasing you! i love you just the way you are, marinette dupain-cheng.

[sammyofold]

Here are those fic recs I promised you @incesthemes ! I hope there's some in there that you'll really enjoy <3 I split up the recs into overarching tropes to group some together, but I'll start with those that don't fit into any of the groups.

The list got a bit long, so I decided to split it up into two parts.

(Part 1 | Part 2)

Courting Death by theproblematique.

Summary: Sam Winchester lived the first six months of his life in a happy family; the next twelve years as John Winchester's only son, and the last decade as an orphan. He's supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn't have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.

Servant of Servants 'verse by klove0511.

This is a two-part series (though I think it might've been intended to have more fics, its ending doesn't leave you feeling snubbed), posing the question: "what if it had been Sam who'd been mortally wounded at the end of Season 1?"

love potion no. 9 by according2thelore.

Summary: Dean drinks a love potion. Sam is falling apart at the seams because he's been in love with his brother for more than a decade.

keep me in a daydream by according2thelore.

Summary: After an accidental kiss makes a hunt go suspiciously well, Sam and Dean decide to try it again. And again. And again. It's no different from wearing lucky socks, right? A 5 + 1.

for you and me (i got no alibi) by remy.

Summary: There are people hitting on Sam wherever he goes, and Dean is doing weird things like holding doors open for him and touching him way more than is necessary, and it's all driving Sam up the wall. It doesn't help that he's been in love with Dean for just about forever, and all of it feels like a mockery of something he'll never get to have. Meanwhile, Dean is at his wits' end trying to figure out how he can make Sam realize that he is, in fact, trying to get into his pants.

Ben Has Two Dads by regala_electra.

Summary: When Ben turns thirteen and learns that Dean Winchester is his father, he runs away to join his father (and uncle). A tale where boys are boys, Vikings are Vikings, unicorns go to Candy Mountains, Dean and Sam are in big gay love, and Ben becomes a Winchester.

Last Temptation by merle_p.

Summary: Sam is running a fever again, the kind of fever no Ibuprofen or cold compress will bring down, the kind of fever that is eating him up alive, eviscerating him from the inside. He is too hot and too cold and too pale, delirious and shaking, resonating with whatever divine energy the trials are subjecting him to, and Dean is not sure how much longer he can stand to see him be in this state. Because Sam is quite possibly dying, and there is nothing Dean can do to stop it. Because Sam is dying, and he just. Won’t. Shut. Up.

Five Times Dean Forgot and One Time He Remembered by elsi.

Summary: Rowena warned him the obliviate curse might have “aftershocks.” That Dean could relapse to his amnesiac state without warning—though only temporarily, she assured. But this? This goes beyond calling a lamp a “light stick.”

Whatever It Is by theproblematique.

Summary: Both Sam and Dean get sent to the year 2014.

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life, Too) by TeacupUnicorn.

Summary: Sam and Dean get handcuffed together during a hunt. With a werewolf on their tail and a proximity to each other they haven’t had since they were kids, their unstable relationship is put to the test and their trust in each other is pushed to the limit. Set sometime after 5x16 and before 5x20.

Not Her Sam by Yuval25.

Summary: Future Dean goes back in time to change the future and saves Jess. Future Sam tags along unexpectedly. And Jess is okay. No, seriously. She's fine.

Mistaken For a Couple

101 - mythology by ani_coolgirl.

Summary: As Sam, Dean, and Kali flee Lucifer's slaughter, Kali makes an assumption. The boys try to clear up any misconceptions. They don't do a very good job.

I need you so much closer by cherryvanilla.

Summary: five times they're mistaken for a couple plus one time they actually are.

Domesticity

Paisley by samsexualdeancurious.

Summary: After his mind wall was broken and was healed, Sam knows he can’t be a hunter anymore, so he and Dean retire, and Sam ends up finding a homeless dog who was abused and together they heal.

The Chicago Verse by compo67.

This is a series spanning a whopping 169 fics. I've read only a few of them and I enjoyed Sam and Dean retiring in this town together. It's still updating, looks like, since the latest fic added was in May of this year.

a few things worth saying by hathfrozen.

Summary: “So this morning,” Dean ventures as they blast down the highway in pitch black night toward a probable werewolf case. Sam looks over at him, thin eyebrows raised, eyes clear and calm. He’s not even difficult about it, doesn’t ask what Dean is after, doesn’t deny what had happened. Instead he says, very simply, “I just figure, why lie?” Alright then.

All The Way In by hunters_retreat.

Summary: Sam never did know how exactly it happened. One day, he and Dean were run ragged, exhausted from yet another disaster of a hunt, no money and no gas, no prospects and no allies left alive to give them a hand. The next, they owned a store with a shooting range and Sam was a professor of religious studies at a local community college.

Pre-Series & Season 1

To Blow Against the Wind by dreamlittleyo.

Summary: After Oasis Plains, Sam and Dean can't. Stop. Touching each other.

Star-Crossed by Agent_Hellcat.

Summary: Before Sam departs for Stanford, he writes a letter to Dean, begging him to come to Palo Alto with him.

Birthday Suit by wincestation.

Summary: On the morning of Dean’s eighteenth birthday, Dad takes him to buy a suit. Sam is… interested.

house song by according2thelore.

Summary: “The werewolf.” Sam says, quick. Hushed. Scared. “I don’t know how. I was—He was standing above you and then he wasn’t. And I think I did that.” Dean keeps whispering stuff to Sam, banal reassurances that Sam soaks up like a sponge, but he feels sick. Sammy did something impossible. Sammy’s been doing impossible things. For years. Or: Pre-Canon/Teen!chesters AU in which Sam develops powers at age eleven, Dean will do anything to protect him, and they have to live with the consequences

Outsider POV

What I've Done by Amoreanonyname.

Summary: He wasn’t going to say anything more about it. He could tell, Dean was happy to see him, but wasn’t going to humor this topic. Dean, young Dean would jump to obey John, to answer John’s questions, but this was an older Dean who was more loyal to someone else now. More loyal to his brother. John wasn’t the priority here, and he realized with another guilty jump in his stomach that he never should have been.

something you love and understand by monsterq.

Summary: In heaven, Mary makes an unwelcome discovery about her sons’ relationship.

a skeleton terribly restless by remy.

Summary: Mary knows she doesn't fit right in this strange new world she's woken up in, with these grown men masquerading as her sons, but she tries her best. She really does. She closes her eyes to all the things she does not want to see, and she lies to herself until she's convinced. Until she can't.

Flowers on the Window Sill by orphan_account.

Summary: Sam and Dean Winchester's relationship as observed by the good people of Star's Hollow.

Soulmates

Fix You by non_tiembo_mala.

Summary: After their encounter with Famine, the boys are in dire straits. With Dean left shaken by the horseman's taunts - which rang truer than he'd like to admit - and Sam juiced up on demon blood again, Dean is at a loss. He has no idea how to move forward, or where they're meant to go from here. Then again, they’ve always had each other - perhaps their salvation isn't as far away as it seems.

All Too Familiar by sammichgirl.

Summary: Sam's new hobby has consequences they never saw coming. Turns out, that's OK with Dean after all.

What We Do by BleedingInk.

Summary: Castiel catches Sam and Dean in a compromising position.

since feeling is first by queenklu.

Summary: That he wants to think this is Dean yanking a leash should make his blood run cold, not aching hot. It should make him sick, angry, it should get his fucking hackles up and make him fight. He does want to fight. But there’s a skin-thin line between primal things, and fighting isn’t all he wants to do.

if the dam breaks open many years too soon by deirde_c.

Summary: Sam’s soul springs a leak, and Dean’s the one who can repair it.

In the beached margin of the sea by rivers_bend.

Summary: Sam and Dean black out on a hunt, and when they wake up, Dean's having visions and Sam can't get new, strange feelings out of his head. When John finds out about the side effects, he'll do anything to get rid of the "curse". But Sam and Dean don't want to go back to the way things were before.

I Don't Need A Symbol by amoreanonyname.

Summary: It hadn’t meant that much to Sam at first. A warm glow at being able to do something nice for Dean, to give him something for once, to make him as happy as he seemed when he put it on immediately. It was what it meant to Dean that made it mean something else to Sam.

[doomedclockworkdotmp3]

heeyyy gaaanggg

the pose and the background of the album version (left) are based on oingo boingos only a lad album art. not cause i think he has anything to do with it but just cause ive been wantin to draw that pose for like. weeks and i didnt know who to put there. so why not my latest bug man.