#SOCIETY if they let her direct the whole season

[sunfortune]

CHERYL DUNYE WORKED ON BRIDGERTON??????? this is crazy. kanthony has the lesbian gaze fr <— hasn’t watched bridgerton

worked on it? she directed the gazebo scene. we literally have FINGERS IN HIS MOUTH bc of HER!! i owe her everything !!!

[sandwitchstories]

Monster In the Middle

Hello, Hello! Here is the next installment in my series of drabbles, headcannons and one shots about Dad!Sukuna!

For more adventures with Mouse and Dad!Sukuna, check out my Daddy Duty Series on my AO3 - Here! )

Authors note: Okay… Look, I know when I started this whole Daddy Duty series I swore there would be no running story but lets face it… now that we named her (Mouse), we have to keep her. So what do you guys say to more adventures in Mouse's Mini-verse?

If you prefer to read on AO3 click here !

Summary: Sukuna has long since grown accustomed to being woken out of his sleep by any number of things. However, this is a first. His position has been usurped, and by none other than his 2 year old daughter.

WC: 750+

CW: Reader is referred to as Mama but not described, toddler dad Sukuna, girl dad!sukuna, true form Sukuna (4 arms), it's pretty much just plain Dilf Sukuna fluff and crack, he thinks she got the sass from you but he's pretty damn sassy if you ask me...

Since the first time Sukuna allowed himself to sleep beside you, he had become accustomed to waking up in a state of confusion. It occurred even more often now that his daughter was an expert at escaping wherever she was put to sleep. (He was pretty sure they couldn't build a prison that would be able to keep her inside at this point. Handy when she was older, frustrating as a toddler.)

The first time he woke in confusion was that first morning he woke up to the weight and warmth of you in his arms. The second time was confusion at your kissing him all over his face because you said (a direct quote etched into his brain forever) that he looked “beautiful.” How could a seasoned and feared warrior with his unique body traits ever forget someone calling him beautiful and meaning it with true sincerity in their eyes and heart?

But not all wake ups were so sweet. He had woken up to you loudly doing things, seemingly just to get to him to wake up. (Many years later he knew it was unintentional. It was just that you were absolutely incapable of doing things quietly.) He had woken up to you shoving him away because of something he did in your dreams. He had woken up to you licking his nose, biting his arm, and many number of other things he couldn't remember now. But suffice it to say you kept his life interesting and your daughter followed in your footsteps.

But still, this was a first... Sukuna, the over 7 foot tall, 4 armed, 4 eyed menace to society, the King of Curses and Deadly Poisons, the strongest sorcerer in history and obviously the big damn spoon was currently displaced... usurped from his rightful position in his own damn bed.

Sukuna… had become the middle spoon.

You were spooned in his arms right where you were supposed to be. But Mouse had maneuvered herself during the night to currently be attached to the back of his neck and shoulders, drooling and snoring away, apparently making baby's first attempt at being the big spoon.

He carefully reached behind himself and removed the adorable goblin before setting her down in your arms. Impressed with himself for moving her without waking her, he settled back down to go back to sleep. But seconds later his revelry was shattered. 

Tiny hands pushed at his arm and then his chest, giving him a stubborn but barely conscious glare. “Move Papa.”

“What did you say?” He asked softly, determined to at least not wake you.

“Move Papa, please,” she repeated, shoving again at his chest.

“That wasn't what I meant, Mouse.” 

If Mouse was anything, she was determined. She clamored over you, carefully for a toddler, and used her feet too. She was on a mission and she was undeterred. 

Sukuna gave up, scooting back just a little and letting her worm her way between the two of you. He watched as she settled down and closed her eyes. Spoiled rotten. That is what she was. 

He gave a little chuckle and closed his eyes. Finally. He could get back to-

“Papa.” 

Are you fucking kidding me? “What?!”

“You're doing it wrong,” his little girl said in a sleepy whine.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He stared at the back of his daughter's head with amazement. She definitely had inherited your audacity. 

Her little hand reached back and fumbled around until she found his hand resting on your hip. She grabbed onto it and pulled at one of his large fingers with her tiny hand. He was about to say something when she rested his hand on your side so his arm was draped over her too.

“Like this, Papa.” She gave a big sigh as if the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. “Love you, Papa…”

“And I you, little mouse,” he let out a soft chuckle. 

He rearranged his hands so one remained on your side, his large arm draped over you both, keeping the two of you close. His now free hand ran fingers gently through his daughter's pink hair that matched his own. He laid a gentle kiss to the back of her tiny head before closing his eyes.

While so far it seemed that he had only contributed his pink hair to the tiny menace now sawing logs like a 60 year old man, but he loved her just as fiercely as he loved you. His precious little chaos gremlin. Perfect in every way. Just like you.

[andy-wm]

Andy, I dont think JM is queer, coz in WHO he is singing about a her, not a they.

She/her pronouns leave no scope for ambiguity.

Anon, that's like me saying 'Anonymous' must be your real name because that's who the ask came from.

Makes sense?

No.

No it does not.

If the pronouns were THEY, Jimin would be

a) slammed for being woke

and

b) not clearly telling you that he lives in a society that makes him think his love MUST be a she/her. And he can't find love, he can't find it anywhere.

If he had grown up thinking he could find love with (he/she/they... any pronouns) don't you think he would have found it by now? I mean, look at him, he's so beautiful and kind and smart. How could he not find someone?

Would he be singing songs about how he can't find love?

The way he specifically says HER tells you THAT'S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES.

Please, Anon (not your real name, yeah?)

Please, for your future self, for you to navigate the information you encounter every day, don't just grab the first thing you see and run with it. Sure, consider your immediate reaction, but also consider what else might be happening.

Because theres always more than one way to look at a situation.

(Thats why we have a jury of 12 and courts of law, and we don't just let people claim revenge for perceived wrongs by vigilante justice. Because there's two sides to a story, and you need different perspecives to see all the angles.)

Critical thinking skills are important because often messages are hidden.

Sometimes it's because the author wants you to misunderstand at first, because their real meaning will have more impact when you discover it later.

Sometimes there are two different messages directed at two different types of audience (like kids movies with adult jokes hidden in them)

Sometimes it's because they actually cannot say what they really want to say because they aren't allowed to or because it'snot safe or because they simply don't want to be upfront.

In the case of this song, it's all three of those reasons.

Context clues tell us that this album is very queer themed. There are rainbows and smeraldo flowers everywhere.

Smeraldo flowers LITERALLY mean a hidden truth/ truth untold/ I couldn’t tell the truth.

The original posts about Smeraldo flowers are translated here:

You'll find this here: https://cafearmy.wordpress.com/category/flower-smeraldo-blog-post-translations/page/2

There are also clues in the WHO music video - the extended metaphor of the weather, and the rainbows and colour flares. These tell us THERE'S MORE GOING ON HERE.

Read the lyrics and also watch the mv and think about what you are hearing and seeing.

Follow the story and think about WHY everything is happening the way it happens.

The director didn't just randomly yell "ok dance! Now run a bit, now look at the camera, now sing!"

There's a plan. The plan is based on a story they're telling. The story has an ending that THEY ALREADY KNOW, but that we don't.

Until we've seen the whole thing and thought about it, and then gone back to see what we missed the first time around, we dont know.

Like Spring Day isn’t REALLY about the seasons, and Bapsae isnt about birds, and The Truth Untold isn't about growing flowers.

Go back and watch the MV with the audio muted and think about the story thr MV tells without the music.

Read the lyrics as though you are reading a poem.

Genuinely, i care about this (i am a school librarian Anon, i wouldn’t be one if i didn't care about how people interact with information) so listen and think about it.

Then come back and tell me if you still think he's not queer because the pronouns in this song are she.

Borahae 💜

[myfairstarlight]

The Innocent Game of Flirting

AO3 Link.

Rated: T

Length: 10.8k

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington

Canon Divergence

Based on the replies on my jealous Colin post here.

Summary:

It is the 1812 season. Penelope Featherington, out in society a year too early and watching the love of her life court her cousin, refuses to wallow in self-pity. Determined to escape her family home, she resolves to secure a proposal. Following a piece of advice from Daphne, Penelope successfully attracts the interest of a suitor in Lord Remington. However, her little scheme brings about unexpected consequences. Or: A season 1 AU where a determined Penelope uses her friendship with Colin to practice her flirting skills, leading to a very confused and flustered Colin, who soon forgets which Featherington lady he is meant to be courting.

*additional notes on ao3

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Penelope grins as she unveils her new dresses, devoid of that horrid yellow she was forced to adorn in her first few social events. Instead, an array of light pink, green and blue now adorn her wardrobe and she could not be more pleased.

“Thank you Papa!” she exclaims, hugging him despite his stiff demeanour.

“I will never hear the end of it with your mother,” her Papa sighs, even as he hugs her back with one arm then pats her head. “But you’re welcome, darling.”

She hums, bouncing on her feet as she releases him. She can now prepare for the ball tonight with a sound mind. The plan worked much more efficiently than she expected, as her Papa managed to resell the old yellow gowns, giving her some extra pin money, and she had Eloise to thank for such a success.

“Your Papa has a soft spot for you, does he not?” her best friend had said, the night after Penelope’s first ball, wherein she spent the whole night sticking to walls. “And you have two older sisters, as well as an older cousin out in society with multiple suitors already, surely your Mama will focus on them first. If you stubbornly refuse to attend events, she will leave you be but your Papa might notice! He’ll ask what’s wrong and voilà, you get better gowns than those ill-fitting yellow atrocities.”

“And even if he does not notice, frankly, you will not miss much at these balls,” Daphne had sighed. “Outside of my brother being insufferable.”

Her wardrobe is now sorted out, but there is still the issue of… well, her personality. For that, Daphne is the one who gives her a piece of advice when they find each other at the Vauxhall Ball.

“Your personality is dazzling as it is,” the other debutante chides. “You simply need to be comfortable, and courtship is meant to do just that— allow you to get to know someone so you may feel comfortable enough to speak your mind.”

“But for that, I would need to not chase them away with my awkward ways in the first place.”

“Well, some gentlemen like that. My brothers never seem to mind!”

“Your brothers have known me for years, it is hardly a good argument.”

“But you never tried flirting with them! It can be good practice, without the pressure of securing a proposal at the end.”

Penelope hums at that. Daphne is right, it could be good practice. Although she hardly sees herself trying to flirt with Anthony, she knows Benedict would humour her and so would Colin.

And if it could allow her to let her feelings about the latter out without any consequence…

“So… how does one flirt?”

“Men are rather simple creatures, my brothers are no different, though they pretend otherwise. Feed their ego, compliment them, but do not appear too eager.”

“Uh…”

“Oh! Anthony is heading this way, I must go,” Daphne says suddenly, promptly untangling their arms and fleeing towards the garden.

“Wait Da— Oh well.” Penelope pouts, watching her go, and then raises an eyebrow when she catches the Duke of Hastings also disappearing in the same direction after avoiding Lady Danbury.

Penelope is about to follow suit, curiosity guiding her thoughts, when she hears a familiar voice call her name.

“Pen!”

She startles, promptly twirling around to see Colin approaching.

“Colin!” She curtsies. “I did not know you would be here!” she says, trying to contain her excitement but failing miserably at it.

“Sorry to disappoint,” Colin jests. “Have you seen Miss Thompson?” he asks next as he looks around.

The smile drops from Penelope’s lips, which she promptly hides behind her hand as she pretends to be thinking. She knew Colin to be deeply infatuated with her cousin, but she expected at least some remark from her friend about her absence in previous social events, instead of asking about Marina’s whereabouts. No such luck, she supposes. 

Daphne’s words echo into her mind again, and resolve settles in her heart.

“She is ill,” she responds, watching the disappointment fall on Colin’s face, “my mama had to stay home with her, my papa had to chaperone tonight.” She points towards her father who’s already downing his third drink of the night, if she has counted correctly.

“It is quite a shame,” she continues, “you look dashing tonight.”

“I—” Colin stammers, clearly taken aback. Penelope tilts her head, does he not think her honest in her compliment?

“I am being earnest!” she insists. “Of course, you always do. This outdoor ball just brings out quite a whimsical atmosphere, do you not think?”

Colin seems to finally find his composure as he smiles fondly. “I agree, it is a breath of fresh air compared to the usually stuffy ballrooms.”

“Exactly!” she chuckles, fiddling with her dance card. She recalls Daphne doing the same to incite gentlemen to sign it, without outright asking for it. The movement draws their eyes to it, and a gentleman never denies a lady a dance, even if the request is unspoken.

“And— you look whimsical as well, Pen,” Colin compliments, making her flush, “that charming green dress suits you finely, one could mistake you for a mystical wood fairy.”

“Colin, you flatter me!”

“I am being earnest,” he repeats her words with a bright smile of his own.

Penelope chuckles — she was right, Colin would humour her without a second thought.

“Mr Bridgerton,” a grating voice interrupts their conversation and Penelope barely holds herself back from rolling her eyes as Cressida Cowper suddenly appears, not so subtly pushing her aside.

“I believe you owe me a dance this evening, and I have only one space left remaining on my card at present,” the blonde debutante coyly says, dangling said card in front of Colin’s eyes.

“How convenient,” Penelope slips out.

Cressida promptly spills her drink on her, and Penelope gasps, jumping back at the sudden coldness hitting her skin. Fortunately, the forest green of her dress hides the stain that the lemonade would have left but Penelope can hear the women accompanying Cressida already giggling and whispering between themselves. She turns around, willing her tears not to fall, but refusing to let Cressida see how affected she is by her action.

“I’m afraid I cannot offer you that dance, Miss Cowper,” Colin says, disdain barely hidden in his innocent tone.

A gentleman never denies a lady a dance.

“I am to escort Miss Featherington to the dance floor.”

Huh? Penelope turns around, blinking away her tears while Colin simply offers his hand, blatantly ignoring the gawking debutantes and a scowling Cressida witnessing the whole scene. When Penelope fails to move, too stunned, Colin gets closer and simply takes her hand and leads her away.

Penelope follows along numbly.

“Colin, you did not have to do that,” she whispers as they take their place on the dance floor. A quadrille.

“I needed a reason to not dance with her, frankly,” he says. “And I wanted to dance with you, too.”

The dance begins before she can think of an answer.

Well, he is just humouring her again now. They used to practise dancing together, before either of them was out in society, in the safety of the Bridgerton drawing room, yet he never expressed a desire to dance with her ever since. At her first ball, she had hoped — foolishly perhaps — that Colin would ask for her first-ever dance, if not as a suitor, at least as a friend, but his eyes quickly settled on Marina and the rest of the room had faded. And now, this instance does not stem from Colin’s desire for her company, but rather his desire to escape Cressida’s vicious claw, is it not?

Even so, Penelope smiles. This remains her first dance as a debutante, and although she wishes to move on, she can at least cherish the fact that this first is with Colin.

“Well, you are my favourite dance partner, after all,” Penelope says suddenly, during a short pause in the frantic steps of the dance. “Did you know?”

“Mm?”

Their hands join as they spin together, never breaking eye contact.

“Your eyes shine the brightest when you are kind. I think I can easily get lost in them.”

Colin’s step suddenly falters, and Penelope almost steps on his feet. Colin promptly winds an arm around her waist so she does not trip. She squeaks, she hopes discreetly, at the way her friend effortlessly lifts her up and then resumes the dance like nothing was amiss.

As the dance ends and they bow to each other, Colin clears his throat.

“Thank you.” His voice cracks. “You’re—” He never finishes his sentence. Penelope almost feels bad at his flustered state.

Daphne was right, flattering men is easy. Penelope grins, emboldened by this successful attempt. She turns around and catches the eye of a gentleman, alone by the refreshment table, with two glasses of lemonade in his hands and a bored pout on his lips. Lord Remington, if she recalls correctly. He raises an eyebrow, maintaining eye contact and Penelope makes her decision right then. She will enjoy her night!

“Well! Thank you for this dance Colin,” she says, “I am quite parched now.”

That seems to startle Colin into reality. “Oh, I can fetch you—”

“No, it is alright, I shall take this as an opportunity to scour for suitors, should I not? Have a good evening, Colin!”

She cannot quite help the way she bounces on her feet, perhaps a bit too eager, as she makes her way to Lord Remington. Fortunately enough, the gentleman only chuckles, as he offers her the extra glass.

For the rest of the evening, she shares two more dances with Colin, who seems rather reluctant to dance with anyone else since Marina is absent, but she spends the rest of her time discussing with Lord Remington at that same refreshment table. When she comes home, she hugs her father once more for the evening — he only half-heartedly returns it as always before disappearing into his study — and collapses on her bed with a relieved sigh.

She still had no name on her card, as Colin monopolised her night otherwise — though she did take it as an opportunity to practise putting her heart out in the open — but it is a start.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

A week or so passes like any other, surprisingly enough without any nagging from Penelope’s mother about her new wardrobe — in fact, her dear mother seems quite distressed about something else, refusing to give more details regarding Marina’s condition and forbidding all her daughters from seeing their poor cousin. 

Penelope does not see Colin nor Lord Remington at the next events in that period either. She knows Lord Remington had business to attend to outside of London, as for Colin, she simply assumes that with Marina indisposed, he is not bothering to entertain other interested debutantes.

(Though, now that she thinks about it, she has not seen any of the Bridgertons at social events at all, not even Daphne or Anthony.) 

On her part, she has tried to speak to suitors again, and she managed short conversations with Lord Debling and a certain Lord Basilio the night before, but she did not feel the same easiness with them as she did with Colin or Lord Remington. And she still has no name on her dance card.

With her mother refusing any visitors for the duration of Marina’s mysterious illness, Penelope could not exactly secure a caller either. It simply feels like a waste of time.

However, that morning, her father abruptly declared that they would be accepting visitors, forcing Marina out of the prison that her room had begun to become.

Therefore, due to Marina’s absence from past social events, her long line of suitors are quite eager to see her again, so it is no surprise that as soon as calling hours fall upon their day, a few gentlemen are already announced. Penelope swiftly finds her place by the windowsill to read, expecting a lively afternoon for her cousin, but a rather boring one for herself, that is, until their footman Briarly announces:

“A visitor for Miss Penelope.”

Her sisters and mother exclaim in surprise, meanwhile, Penelope manages to maintain her composure, somehow. She jumps to her feet when Lord Remington is escorted in.

“Miss Penelope!” he greets with a boyish smile that has Penelope giggling. “For you, dear lady.”

Flowers! Ironically enough, yellow ones, but she is much too elated to care about such triviality. Penelope grabs the bouquet carefully, a wide smile stretching her lips.

“Thank you, Lord Remington,” she says. “I did not expect your visit…” she admits sheepishly.

“That was rather rude of me to not tell you I was back in London indeed, but I wished to surprise you. Your father owed me a favour as well.” Oh, that explains why her father insisted they open their house to society once more, although when she looks at her father, he guiltily looks away. “And I was much eager to continue our last conversation.”

Penelope playfully gasps. “My, have you heard more about Lord Fife’s failed attempts at charming maids?”

Lord Remington chortles. “Perhaps so! Although, I was also hoping to learn more about you, Miss Penelope.” At that, he offers his hand and Penelope gently reaches for it with her free hand. Swiftly, he deposits a kiss on the back of her glove and she turns bright red.

She can hear her mother gasping, a mix of surprise and delight. She refuses to look in her sisters’ direction, however.

“You two might feel a bit crowded in this corner,” Portia chimes in then. “Prudence, stand up and go sit with Philippa instead, let your sister and her suitor be there.”

Prudence glares but eventually listens and stands from the armchair near the fireplace. Penelope has to bite her lips not to grin in triumph.

Therefore, she sits down on the armchair, setting the flowers on the small table near it, while Lord Remington angles his wheelchair so they can comfortably speak to each other. Penelope rests the book she had been reading on the arm between them as they engage in conversation.

Penelope loses track of time afterwards. Her discussion with Lord Remington feels easy, and natural, though she fails to find it anything other than friendly as her heart has not fluttered once outside of that kiss on her hand. She also cannot find it in herself to place any flirty comments to perhaps stir the conversation into more courting material, but she is quite enjoying his childhood tales and hearing all the gossip he seems to have amassed within his family. Perhaps she does need more practice after all… she cannot remain a friend in the eyes of another gentleman she is trying to pursue after all! She refuses to be stuck in that situation a second time!

“Pen,” a familiar voice calls her suddenly and she startles. Lord Remington, on his part, only tilts his head with a raised eyebrow at the intrusion.

Or at the awful familiarity with which this other gentleman has just addressed a lady.

“Oh, Colin, good d—” She is interrupted by Colin suddenly shoving a bouquet of lilies and lavender in front of her. “Thank you…?”

Colin beams, eyes shining akin to a puppy getting praise.

It takes her a few seconds to realise Colin is also kneeling in front of her.

“Uh. I thought Mr Bridgerton was announced for Miss Thompson,” Philippa comments. She probably meant to whisper it, however, the middle Featherington girl has never been good at keeping her voice down.

A heavy silence ensues. Penelope catches Marina’s narrowed eyes, and she is not quite sure if she is supposed to say something — she is just as lost by Colin’s behaviour, and she hopes her confusion translates into her gaze.

“Well, I realised I never gifted Pen anything before despite our years of acquaintances and my many visits here, that makes me an awful friend, does it not?” Colin says eventually.

Friend. Right. Penelope smiles, trying to ignore that familiar feeling of disappointment tugging at her heart.

“Thank you, Colin,” she whispers, as chatter fills the room again. “Have you met Lord Remington?” she asks, not recalling if the two ever exchanged even pleasantries at the Vauxhall Ball.

“We’re familiar,” the latter says. “Though we have not spoken since Eton, have we, Bridgerton?”

“Indeed, Remington.”

Lord Remington narrows his eyes. “So, how are you?”

“Fine.”

What a stilted conversation.

Penelope bites her lip, eyes going from one gentleman to the other and coming to an uncomfortable realisation — they look alike, do they not? Brunettes with deep blue eyes, along with a boyish and charming smile. Oh dear, did she unconsciously seek someone similar to Colin, at least in appearance?

“Will you be staying on the floor, Mr Bridgerton?” Portia asks, confusion apparent in her voice. “We can get you a cushion, at the very least. Although I believe there is still a seat near Miss Thompson available.”

Penelope sees Marina not so subtly shoving a suitor away, forcing the poor gentleman to stand up.

“Oh!” Colin blinks, looking rather lost himself, and he nearly loses his balance, if not for Lord Remington grabbing his arm before he could fall. “Uh, thanks.”

“No worries,” the other gentleman smiles. ��Your lady awaits you I believe.”

Penelope gives a bemused smile when Colin looks at her as if asking for guidance. Eventually, although reluctantly, it seems, Colin stands up and takes the seat next to Marina.

“The room is getting rather crowded,” Penelope says, as many others of Marina’s suitors have arrived in the meantime. “Shall we go to the garden, my lord?”

“Please!” the gentleman agrees, letting out a low chuckle. “Some fresh air would be wonderful.”

Penelope quite agrees.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Unfortunately, at the next ball, Lord Remington is not present; he did inform her it would be unlikely for him to attend events where dancing is at the centre, which unfortunately tends to be most of them. The Vauxhall ball just happened to intrigue him with the promise of the light show.

Truth be told, it is a bit frustrating — her father has told her that though Lord Remington specifically asked to call on her, the gentleman has not requested permission to start a proper courtship with her. She wonders if, once again, she found herself a friend, rather than a suitor.

She is not sure where she has failed, once isolated in the garden of her childhood home, she had complimented him the way she had with Colin, and Lord Remington seemed rather unaffected compared to the way Colin had reacted, instead of stumbling with his words and turning a subtle shade of red, Lord Remington had simply smiled and thanked her, giving her compliments of his own.

Her heart also did not flutter at his words, but that was to be expected. Although determined to marry, she knows a love match is not a possibility, for her heart is too stubborn to let go of the man she was born for, but who was born for another.

Even so, she supposes she must entertain other options than Lord Remington, as kind and funny he is, lest she still spends most of the season clinging to walls once more.

“Our host looks a bit fussy,” a familiar voice suddenly says behind her, startling her. “Do you think if he goes to bed we all have to leave?”

Penelope chuckles. “Colin!”

Colin grins cheekily. “It is lucky the lady produced an heir before the old earl croaked, no?”

“Lucky indeed,” she agrees, unconsciously leaning against Colin’s side. “But do you not think the boy bears a passing resemblance to Lady Trowbridge’s footman?”

“Penelope, what a barb!” Colin chuckles before he reaches for her card.

Instinctively, Penelope pulls it away before he can catch it. She regrets it immediately when Colin sends her the saddest look she has ever seen on a human being.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“What are you doing?” Colin counters. “I simply wished to secure a dance with you.”

“... Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

Yes! The desire to court me! She does not say that.

“Well, there is no notion of securing a spot on my card, as it has remained empty, and you know this. I hear Miss Thompson has yet to leave the dance floor, however.”

“I have already spoken with Miss Thompson, all her dances have been claimed indeed.”

Penelope is unsurprised, however she keeps her dance card close to her chest, even with Colin’s hand still hovering in front of her. Perhaps it is petty, but she already had her first dance as a debutante with Colin, and she wishes to have an actual suitor as the first name on her card.

Eventually, Colin seems to understand she will not relent, so he clears his throat. “So… you and Lord Remington?”

“What about him and I?”

“Are you considering him a proper prospect? He’s… young…”

Penelope blinks.

“Colin, he’s your age.”

Colin gapes as if he has forgotten this fact.

“... My point still stands, somewhat. He may not be as serious as you about courtship.”

“Colin, thank you for looking out for me, but you do not need to.”

“Pen that is not…” He pauses. “You love to dance.”

She narrows her eyes at the sudden statement. “Careful before you utter a rude remark.”

“What? Oh! No, I did not mean in regards to his… oh this came out wrong,” Colin stumbles on his words, cheeks turning red in shame. “Simply, you love to dance, and I know you and Lord Remington have… started… uh, a courtship.”

“Do not sound so pained and surprised,” she deadpans, not bothering to correct him anyway.

“But you do not need to deny dances for his sake,” Colin continues, ignoring her remark. “You are not a claimed woman. Should you not entertain other suitors?”

Well, do you see any lining up for my hand?! She almost petulantly answers. Instead, she takes a breath, turning her gaze to the dance floor, where she meets Marina’s eyes for a brief moment. She currently is dancing with an old earl, and looks rather displeased about it — is it cruel of Penelope to despise how ungrateful her cousin is with the natural attention she has brought to herself? Even so, she sends her a supportive smile and does not miss the way Marina’s eyes flit towards Colin for a second.

“Are you volunteering to start my empty list?” Penelope mutters, more of a derisive question than a true request. Before she can find out if he heard her, however, she tugs at his sleeve. “Would you do me a favour?”

“Mm? Of course.”

“Miss Thompson seems rather eager for a rescue.”

Marina’s name seems to startle Colin into reality. He straightens his back. “Oh! Indeed she does.”

Penelope’s heart flutters and breaks at the same time at the hopeful look now in Colin’s eyes. “You’re so cute,” she says  — because she has gotten used to being honest. “Now go.”

“Pen what did you just say—”

She nudges him onto the dance floor before he can finish his question. She then promptly blends into the crowd and leaves the ball early, feeling quite defeated and refusing to admit the fault may lie with her treacherous heart.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

That very night, Marina tells her, in an elated voice, that she has settled her attentions on Colin at last, praising his kindness, his humour, and, more importantly, his youth. Penelope only smiles and wishes her and Colin the best, in a voice she hopes is not half-hearted.

And yet, in the days that follow this declaration, in which Colin visits almost daily, Penelope senses a shift in Marina, she who once treated her gently the way her sisters never did, her cousin now is rather cold, looking at her with apprehension and resentment, though no cruel words leave her lips, at the very least. It makes Penelope itch — she thought she finally found a friend in this dreadful house but it seems she was being naive.

Perhaps it is fate being gentle on her, but just as Marina has decided to regard her as a hindrance, a certain Mr Finch starts to show interest in Philippa, prompting the latter to cling to Penelope as she asks her younger sister for advice — and to have an ear to gush to about the loveable cheese-enthusiast gentleman. As a result, Penelope spends many of her afternoons with her, Mr Finch and Lord Remington around a cup of tea.

(That is when Colin does not decide to make an appearance to steal some cookies from Penelope’s plate every time.)

And yet, as the days pass, no proposal seems to be on the horizon, for any of the ladies in the house. Penelope is not surprised for herself, Lord Remington has not shown any sign of seeking a wife this season despite his flirtatious ways, but Mr Finch seems so besotted with her sister that she is surprised they have not already eloped. As for Colin and Marina, she had been so sure that as soon as Marina started denying her other suitors, Colin would jump on the opportunity to secure his future with her, he who seemed so eager at the beginning of the season.

Penelope has heard the servants talk, however. She knows of her father’s gambling addiction and the very possibility that her and her sisters’ dowries may have gone into one of his dangerous and reckless games. Marina’s dowry, separated from their fortune, should still be intact, however.

She suspects the lack of proposal and this rumour may not be unrelated.

When they get an invitation from the Bridgertons for Daphne and the Duke of Hastings’ engagement party, Penelope cannot help the sense of foreboding taking over her heart as she catches her mother and Marina sharing a conspiratorial look. Even so, she turns to Philippa instead who excitedly intertwines their arms, insisting that they must invite their suitors as well. Penelope agrees wholeheartedly.

Only to learn they cannot.

“It will only be a small gathering, the Duke insisted, and we forgot to put the details in the invitation,” Colin explains later that day when he visits. “You are old friends of the family, so Daphne insisted you must come.” Penelope has to stop herself from laughing. She knows he does not mean the rest of her family. “Oh, and this is for you, Pen.”

He hands Penelope a copy of Sense and Sensibility. She gasps, successfully distracted.

“I heard the wedding is only a week from now, that is rather quick, was your sister not just being courted by the prince?” Lord Remington, who also happened to be calling on Penelope at the moment, inquires.

“The Duke has simply come to his senses and secured my sister’s hand before anyone else could,” Colin responds, and Penelope swears his eyes fall briefly on her. “I do apologise that you cannot be of attendance, my friend.”

“I will pretend that your words are sincere.” The other gentleman chuckles. “Well, if you are to monopolise Miss Penelope’s time tomorrow, my lady, shall we leave for a promenade this afternoon? The weather has not been quite this nice in a while, after all.”

“Oh! Mr Finch should arrive any moment, shall we all go together?” Philippa chimes in, jumping from her seat to wrap her arms around Penelope from behind.

Lord Remington smiles politely, though it is obvious he expected a private outing. “Uh, of course.”

“Splendid! Oh, we should have a picnic as well! Varley, could you have the cook prepare something?”

“I have not even answered yet…” Penelope mutters, meeting Lord Remington's amused eyes. The man has also grown used to her sister's air-headed and excitable ways.

“Shall we join as well, Mr Bridgerton? Some fresh air may be quite pleasing,” Marina says.

Colin seems taken by surprise. “Ah, I'm afraid I cannot, I must help with some preparations.”

“But you said it would be an intimate gathering,” the other gentleman points out.

“Pen, I expect a full commentary of the book tomorrow, yes?” Colin asks, thoroughly ignoring the pointed remark and Marina’s narrowing eyes.

“You… read it?” 

“Of course! You know how Eloise is not so fond of these books, and I need someone to talk about them with. So. Promise?”

Penelope chuckles. “Very well, I promise.”

Colin beams before swiftly taking his leave without meeting anyone’s eyes.

Penelope is not quite sure why, upon the door closing behind him, the rest of the room sends her an incredulous look.

“What? Colin and I are friends, this is not the first time he’s come simply to give me something.” Last time, the flowers were a surprise, but a book is not necessarily a courting gift. This is just Colin being thoughtful — Penelope recalls lamenting being unable to find this book at the beginning of the season although she only shared this information with Eloise.

“Ah! That is true,” Philippa concedes, prompting Marina to relax on the couch. 

Lord Remington looks at the book thoughtfully, and at the way Penelope cradles it ever so gently to her chest. He remains silent, however.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

They find a quaint little spot below a willow tree where they decide to settle for the picnic. Philippa sets the food and baskets with Mrs Varley's help, while Penelope helps Lord Remington out of his wheelchair.

“I can usually manage on my own,” he shares, leaning ever so slightly against her as they sit, “but this is good practice, is it not?”

Penelope’s heart skips a beat. “Do you mean—” 

“Well, perhaps I am getting ahead of myself.” He pauses, looking at Mr Finch for a moment. The other man seems entranced by a piece of cheese Phillippa is presenting him. “Miss Penelope, you must know that your father has advised me and Mr Finch from proposing.” Penelope only sighs. “You do not seem surprised.”

“I have had my suspicions, especially considering our quickly shortening staff. And the fact I have had to wear some gowns twice, to my mother’s dismay”

“A lady such as you should not have to worry about such things.”

“Why should I not if my father’s careless games define my future, my lord?” Penelope says. “On your part, you do not seem angered.”

Lord Remington gives a sheepish smile. “It is true my concern lies more with Mr Finch. To be honest, my lady, I had no intention of finding a wife this season.”

“I gathered.”

“Observant as ever, my lady.”

Penelope chuckles. Her heart feels lighter than she expected to — in fact, it is a bit of a relief to have the confirmation, rather than constantly overthink where she may have failed in her plan to entice a gentleman.

“But I do like you, Penelope.” She startles a little at the sudden familiarity in the lord’s voice. Her breath hitches as Lord Remington reaches for her hand, gently bringing it to his chest. “However, and I apologise for how vain this will sound, but I cannot allow myself to marry if the lady has no dowry. My parents can be… insufferable, in those matters, and I would rather not put you in this situation, especially given how costly my treatments can be. This chair and its maintenance, for one.”

Penelope smiles, fingers curling around his palm and squeezing once. “I understand. And your parents only worry about your well-being as well, I am sure.” Her lack of dowry is a reality she now needs to face. Her prospects have significantly lowered once more, with this factor that is outside of her hands, though, really, it is so late in the season now, she wonders if she simply has to accept that she must wait another year — that is if she is lucky enough to get a second season.

“You give them too much grace,” Lord Remington laughs. “I believe I can settle this matter with time, and as I have mentioned, your father owes me as well. Next season, perhaps, I can proudly present my ring to you, if you are willing to wait for me.”

Penelope does not answer for a while, although that is a dilemma she has just pondered in her head. Her eyes observe the man before her, a perfect suitor by all means. Kind, humorous, young, devoted… Well, does that not sound quite familiar? She looks at her sister and Mr Finch afterwards, noting the lovesick looks and Philippa’s wide smile. It frustrates her, that after all, she still wishes for such a carefree and loving romance. She knows Lord Remington has chosen his words carefully. He likes her. And perhaps it is unfair of her to expect any man to still wish for her hand without a hefty price behind it. Her pragmatic side knows it is not a possibility — Mr Finch is as smitten as they come and yet has not fought her father for Philippa’s hand.

And then, there is the poor romantic soul in her. Perhaps her mother is right, she reads too much, after all.

“It is not a matter of willingness, but rather one of ability, is it not?” she answers eventually.

“You evade my question.”

“Observant as ever, my lord.” She looks at their joined hands. “I cannot honestly promise I will wait,” she admits.

Understanding, rather than disappointment, shapes the curve of Lord Remington’s smile.

“Although, frankly, if I can be in Mayfair again for next season, you would not have much competition anyhow, even without me promising,” she jests.

“You underestimate yourself, Penelope,” the gentleman is quick to refute. “In fact… Someone else has warned me to be careful. That was not the word he used, but I would hate to subject your delicate ears to such language.”

Penelope sighs. “Mr Bridgerton is a protective friend, that is all.”

“I did not even need to say a name.” He laughs at her wide eyes. “Mr Bridgerton is neither your family, nor your suitor, and yet the way he spoke to me gave me the feeling he had a pistol ready to draw.”

“Surely you jest!”

Lord Remington shakes his head. “I wish it was merely an entertaining piece of gossip. Mr Bridgerton is quite blind, or perhaps stupid.” Penelope cannot help the small noise of protest that escapes her lips before she can stop it. “But he has clearly shown his interest these past few weeks, only not in Miss Thompson.” He takes a breath. “Your heart belongs to him, does it not? He is the one you are waiting for.”

“I do not want to!” Penelope refutes, implicitly confirming the man’s suspicion. “I— it was merely an infatuation, when he decided to court my cousin, I knew I had to move on. And please, do not assume I do not like you! If you proposed right at this moment, I’d…” She falters — she cannot even finish that sentence.

Her friend gives her a knowing look. “We can pretend I have. It would simply be a half-truth. If by next season, you are still a debutante, then we shall marry. Otherwise, there is no harm. Simply a promise between us without the pressure of the final decision. And perhaps the rumour of your engagement will spur him into action.”

“James, that is ludicrous.”

“Oh, now you use my name!” He laughs. “Allow me this opportunity to mess with him after the hassle he put me through.”

“You will be thoroughly disappointed, Colin would be supportive, rather than insanely jealous over you as you expect him to be.”

“I would wager a bet over this matter, but that is a dangerous path. As your father would know.”

Penelope rolls her eyes.

“You would lose anyhow,” she insists.

“We will see, my lady.”

She suspects he simply is pleased to be the source of some entertaining piece of gossip for once.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Penelope is not quite sure why she and her family were invited to this engagement party when, aside from Lady Danbury, the Duke does not seem to have invited a family of his own. If they desired an intimate gathering, inviting the eccentric Featheringtons was far from a good idea. And if she has to listen to her mother embarrassingly try to make Lady Bridgerton and Lady Danbury laugh with her jokes, Penelope might fake an illness to be able to escape.

“A blue dress today? Trying to become an official part of the family?” Benedict Bridgerton comes up to her with that signature charming smile of his.

“Are you volunteering to make that happen?” she jests back, self-consciously brushing her skirts, indeed noting the eerily similar colour to Eloise’s dress or Benedict’s and Colin’s waistcoats. Not a deliberate choice, truth be told.

Benedict laughs. “I hear that you soon won’t bear the Featherington name, I may be too late?”

Ah. So the rumour has already spread in a mere day, for Benedict, of all people to hear about it.

“Tonight is not about me,” is all she says. “Your brother seems miffed.”

“Which one?”

“The Viscount.”

“Ah. The Duke is a close friend of his, yet he does not trust him with our Daphne. I think he’s being purposely obtuse. These two are quite smitten, as we say.”

Penelope recalls Lord Remington’s remark about the pressing wedding date, and despite her best judgement, it makes her observe Daphne and the Duke with more scrutiny than she ought to. They seem happy and content indeed, but she cannot help but sense some guilt from the gentleman, and some tension in the curves of Daphne’s smiles. Penelope sees love, yet one not quite yet resolved, in a sense. But she supposes, married life ought to refine the shape of their bond.

“Colin has been looking for you, so I am surprised to be finding you alone, not even with Eloise,” Benedict says.

“Eloise retired to her room early to avoid your mother,” she responds, prompting the man to chuckle under his breath. “As for Colin, I have not seen him at all apart from a brief glimpse upon arrival.”

“I have not seen your cousin either.” A shiver runs down Penelope’s spine at the remark. Benedict looks troubled, brow subtly furrowed as he scans the room. “Our mothers and Anthony seem fortunately occupied, if you understand what I mean.”

She nods. However, before they part in search of the missing pair, she asks, “Do you not trust your brother?”

Benedict smiles, a bit guiltily. “It is not him I do not trust.” He shakes his head. “I will check upstairs in the bedrooms, could you check the studies and library?”

Penelope has no time to respond before he leaves. She sighs, rubbing her left arm before she swiftly exits the room as well.

Eloise has told her how uneasy her family felt about the courtship between Colin and Marina, yet she has never witnessed it first-hand. Knowing her friend, Penelope assumed Eloise was being her usual hyperbolic self, but if even Benedict seems to distrust the courtship, he who is usually so welcoming, then… She shakes her head, her steps leading her to Anthony’s study by the staircase.

And noticing the door being half-opened, a faint light coming from inside. Her lips press into a thin line — she has heard her mother talk about her youth, when she prepared her and her sisters for the season, of how to secure a gentleman, some ladies would intentionally lure men into an isolated room, but leave the door slightly ajar, in the hope of another guest, or even a servant, taking notice. It could be the other way around as well, although her mother was sure to point out that men are much less eager about a marital prospect. Penelope’s heart sinks — surely Marina would not…?

She tentatively approaches the door. As such she can vaguely discern Colin and Marina standing in the middle of the room. Well, Penelope can only see Colin’s back, completely hiding Marina behind his imposing figure, but she can catch a glimpse of Marina’s yellow dress peeking between his legs.

Suddenly, Colin takes a step back.

“What are you doing?” he asks, voice shaking with an emotion Penelope cannot quite place.

“I was hoping for a kiss,” Marina answers frankly.

Penelope stifles her scandalised gasp behind her hand while Colin takes several steps back then, shaking his head vigorously.

“You are a lady, and I am a gentleman. I cannot take liberties of the sort with you.”

“You agreed to an unchaperoned moment with a lady, you believe that to be gentlemanly?” Marina says.

“It did not feel like a choice in the first place when you dragged me here,” Colin responds in kind, sounding just as exasperated as Marina. “I have told you long ago, that I wish to end our courting.”

Penelope blinks. But he has kept visiting?

“But… you kept calling on me,” Marina says softly, voicing Penelope’s thoughts. “I thought you simply needed a little push.”

“I have not?” Colin sounds genuinely confused. “I was visiting Penelope.”

“Penelope!?”

The girl in question winces. She has heard enough as well. She knocks on the door, prompting a loud gasp from the pair inside.

“You are being rather loud, if you wished to have a private moment,” Penelope quips as she steps in. She sees relief fall on Colin’s face meanwhile Marina looks horrified, refusing to meet her cousin's gaze.

“Pen! It is not— I assure you nothing—” Colin tries to explain, surprised when Marina shoves past him and Penelope to get out of the room.

Penelope watches her go, worried, but the glare her cousin gave her just before closing the door behind her tells her she might be the last person Marina would wish to confide in at the moment. She sighs, focusing her gaze back on Colin who is leaning against Anthony’s desk with a hand rubbing his forehead.

“It is lucky I was the one who found you, and not your brother,” she says, earning a derisive laugh from her best friend.

“I know,” Colin sighs. “How much did you…?”

“I heard the mention of a kiss.” Colin stiffens. She shakes her, reaching out to rub his arm reassuringly. “I know nothing happened, Colin, you are a gentleman, a kind and considerate one.”

“Pen…”

“In fact, if you wish I can speak with Marina, surely something—” Her voice trails off as she notices that Colin is starting to lean in, breath caressing her forehead. “Colin?”

Instead of a response, his hand reaches for her chin, tilting it forward so their eyes may meet. Penelope’s breath hitches upon meeting the dark forest of her friend’s gaze.

“I heard…” Colin starts, voice barely above a whisper. “You are not wearing a ring.”

Penelope frowns, before showing him her ring-empty hand with a small derisive smile. “Indeed, I am not. I doubt I ever will.”

“Pen, do not say that.”

“You are sweet, Colin, but the reality is as such — Lord Remington has asked me to wait another year, but he may change his mind, or I may not be able to be here next season anyhow.”

It is Colin’s turn to frown.

“Why would you not be?”

“Colin, I have learned I have no dowry.” Her friend’s eyes widen. “My parents are very much trying to hide it, but no sane gentleman shall wish for the third daughter of a Baron with not even a dowry to evaluate her status.”

Colin’s hold on her is stronger suddenly, both hands framing her face and his gaze piercing through her soul.

“You are wrong,” he announces, fervently.

“... About?”

“So many things. Everything you have just said.” He leans closer, eyes never leaving hers. “You have been driving me insane, Pen.”

“I— I apologise?”

“All the flirting, the compliments, and sweet smiles… but then you turn around and entertain another, leaving me to gather dirt in your devastating garden.”

“Colin, you are not making any sense.”

“Remington is besotted, enchanted. How can you even think for one second he would not propose even without a dowry when he was oh-so bragging about it at the gentleman’s club last night?” He scoffs. “How can you not see the effect you leave in your wake?”

“Do not mock me!”

“May I kiss you?”

Penelope’s eyes widen, too stunned by such an abrupt question, yet before her thoughts can understand, her heart decides to be the bearer of decisions for the first time in a long while and she finds herself nodding.

Colin does not let her take another breath, capturing her lips with his.

And what a glorious moment it is.

Penelope sighs, melting under Colin’s touch who cradles her face as if she were a precious diamond. She tentatively moves her lips to the rhythm he has set, feeling her heart flutter for every brush, for every caress.

“Pen,” Colin whispers as he pulls away. “A kiss is for two people.”

“I–! I am trying my best.” She is not pouting.

He chuckles. “Do you trust me?”

She should not. This is highly improper, and the very scenario she has just prevented Marina from executing. Besides, they were having a very important conversation about her prospect, and she seriously needed to have a word with Lord Remington the next time she saw him. And yet— “Of course— oh!”

Strong arms suddenly wrap around her waist, effortlessly lifting her so she may sit on the desk, with Colin standing between her legs. Then he kisses her again. Penelope hums pleasantly, now able to wind her arms around his neck without straining, inviting him closer and closer. Colin is relentless now, barely allowing her a breath in between kisses, like a stranded man in a desert whose thirst can only be quenched by her lips.

Penelope feels him reach for her face, a thumb caressing her left cheek before it travels to her lower lip, pulling at it before she feels his tongue probing inside and claiming her mouth fully. She moans a sound she never knew she could even produce, and to grab into any sense of self, her hands find her friend’s hair, tugging at it just as Colin inhales deeply, his movements suddenly a bit shakier. Penelope can feel a warmth start to build up and a tingle in her legs — she is thankful to be sitting or she would have surely collapsed. But she needs— she needs—

“Colin! Are you in there?”

They pull apart abruptly, both of them recognising Benedict’s voice. Penelope is the first to react, promptly jumping off the desk to hide under it, just as the door opens.

“There you are!” Benedict says. “And you look a mess, have you taken out Anthony’s secret stash of alcohol in here?”

“Wh— no, I just needed a moment,” Colin manages to reply with a somewhat steady voice. “Bracing myself to announce the end of my courtship at our sister’s engagement party, like the insensitive brother I am, it seems.”

“Uh, alright…? Have you seen Penelope? I had asked her to search for you here or at the library, but I could not find her there.”

Penelope hopes her heaving breath is not as loud as it sounds in her ears.

“No. Perhaps one of our sisters kidnapped her. I heard Eloise retired to her chambers early.”

“Mm. Perhaps.” Benedict sounds entirely unconvinced. “Well, Mother is asking about you, we better get back to the party.”

“Right, yes of course.”

As the brothers leave, Penelope allows herself to simply lie on the floor for a moment as she lets the moment sink in. She brings a hand to her lips, still tingling from the kisses given by the love of her life.

And she is supposed to stand up, and simply exist as if the world as she knew it has not simply collapsed.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

A few days later, they are all invited to a garden party on a quaint sunny spring day, and Lord Remington is pouting. He looks incredibly young in his petulance.

“How come the end of a courtship is gaining more attention than the possibility of an engagement?” he complains, as he watches on the many debutantes surrounding Colin, trying to “comfort” him, and the many gentlemen back by Marina’s side, hoping for her favours.

It seems that nothing has truly changed, after all. Penelope supposes Marina shall get a proposal soon after all, even if from someone she did not choose at first.

Penelope chuckles, poking the lord’s arm. “I did tell you no one would truly care. The Bridgertons are the darlings of Mayfair, after all, and my cousin the diamond of the season.” Well, the second one.

“No, you told me Mr Bridgerton would not care,” James — she might as well start to refer to him as such, as they have agreed on a friendship until next season — corrects with a tut. “And he very much cares if he has ended his courtship with your cousin!”

“Colin ended it a while ago, it had nothing to do with us.”

“Now we both know that is false, as he kept visiting.”

Penelope’s lips form a thin line. Ever since the engagement party, she has been unable to talk to Colin. The news of the end of his and Marina’s courtship broke out the next day, and naturally, the third Bridgerton son did not try to call on her afterwards — would be quite the scandal, if he were to visit the cousin of the woman everyone thought he would be proposing to.

And at this garden party, Colin has not had a single moment to breathe in the middle of his many admirers. It makes Penelope wonder if what she has experienced is even real. It all feels like a distant memory, or a dream even.

“No matter,” James huffs, taking Penelope’s hand, “I suppose it is not so bad.”

She rubs the back of his hand. “I hope your ego is not too bruised, my lord.”

“Why would it be? I get your delightful presence all to myself.”

“James, I already agreed to marry you next season if everything is settled, you do not need to flatter me.”

“Penelope, I am being sincere, dear. And I still need to win your heart, don’t I? If Mr Bridgerton does not hurry…”

She drops his hand. “James.”

He holds his hands in surrender. “Very well, I will stop mentioning him. But I am being earnest, Penelope. I like you, and I know that I could learn to love you.”

Penelope’s heart flutters. How can you not see the effect you leave in your wake? She shakes that voice away.

“Thank you.”

James smiles. “May you help me? I wish to go see the flowers over there.”

“Of course, my lord.”

Carefully, and under the eye of James’ butler, Penelope pushes the gentleman’s wheelchair towards the edges of the garden, where fewer people are gathered, wishing to enjoy a cup of tea among the flowers, rather than the crowd. Jame directs her towards a corner with an empty table, on a ledge. As their respective maid and butler prepare them a glass of lemonade, Penelope quietly sits on a chair, a hand on James’ armrest.

“Would you care for a dance?” James asks suddenly.

“Wh—” Before she can ask, the gentleman takes her hand, prompting her to stand up before he directs her towards the short sets of stairs on their left. Penelope gasps, smiling wide as she understands his plan. She gleefully skips down the few steps, their hands never unlinking. “It is odd,” she says, as she looks up at James now. “I usually have to go up some stairs to meet anyone’s eyes.”

“I am delighted to be an exception,” he responds, leaning forward a little. Penelope holds back a giggle as his butler rushes to his side, worried he might somehow fall, while James waves him away with a roll of his eyes. “Shall we? I think I owe you more than one dance.”

Penelope nods. It is unconventional, she is aware. They are outside, in broad daylight, and she can see the few people around already turning a curious eye on them, but truthfully, she cannot care any less at the moment. The end of the season is near, her prospects are… insignificant as long as her father swims in debt, but she has a promised engagement in the future, and so, she can do whatever she pleases now, she can hardly be ruined, as the Ton believes her to soon be engaged to the man she is currently inappropriately dancing with, the only way she may be truly ruined were if she was caught unchaperoned with another gentleman, like in a closed study, with only the candles for witnesses—

Well, is that not a thought?

She shakes the memory away once more as she lets James twirl her and they improvise a routine with minimal steps, but allowing many spins for Penelope, wherein their hands never stray from each other. She laughs, feeling lighter than she has ever felt before.

After a few minutes, they bow to each other to end their impromptu dance, with Penelope now leaning against the handle of James’ wheelchair to catch her breath. Dancing under the sun sure is a different experience than under the moonlight, she realises, it is much more exhausting, for one. A glass of fresh lemonade is presented to her and she grabs it without looking up.

“Oh, thank you.”

“You’re welcome. That was quite the dance.”

She almost spits out her drink at the voice.

“Bridgerton!” James greets him with a friendly smile. “Wasn’t it? Penelope is an excellent dancer, despite having me as a partner.”

“James!” Penelope exclaims. “Do not speak of yourself as such, this was one of the best dances I ever had.”

“Oh,” Colin says, looking rather pained. “Shall I take offence, Pen?”

“Do not start too,” she huffs. “You kept stepping on my feet during our first lessons.”

“Now, those did not count, we were children!”

“So you are very old friends, are you not?” James remarks with a hum.

“Indeed,” Colin says, then he grabs Penelope’s free hand, kissing its back. She squeaks. “And hopefully we will continue to be for many years, yes?”

“Certainly, I will let you visit when we marry,” the lord says, but Penelope can tell he is entirely teasing.

“I do not see a ring attesting to such a promise…” Colin, on the other hand, cannot. “Nor was Lady Featherington boasting about it.”

“I have not asked the patriarch's permission yet indeed, although I have the lady’s agreement, which is the most important part, is it not?”

“And yet you wish to wait for next season. For monetary reasons, I hear.”

James is briefly taken aback. “How— Ah, you told him, didn’t you?”

“I do not like secrets,” Penelope mumbles. “It is not like I will be getting another proposal before the season ends anyhow. Papa would deny it.”

“We will see about that,” Colin huffs.

“Colin?”

He grins, throwing a challenging look at the other gentleman before he winks at Penelope. He explains nothing and simply leaves after giving Penelope’s hand another kiss.

“That was odd,” she comments after a while, trying to undermine the way her heart is now beating wildly, hope fuelling its frenetic dance.

Colin wishes to marry her.

“Entertaining, you mean,” James snickers. “Do you reckon he will allow me to visit?”

Penelope rolls her eyes.

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Daphne will be hosting the last ball of the season, Penelope learns when she receives a personalised and handwritten invitation from the former Bridgerton, now the Duchess of Hastings.

Colin delivers it to her personally, in fact.

“It is odd to see your house this empty,” he comments.

She hums, sweeping her gaze across the empty drawing room — Rae is by the door as a chaperone, but she and Colin are otherwise alone. Her mama and sisters are out promenading, while Penelope feigned a headache to stay at home. As for Marina…

A mere week has passed since the garden party, and yet so much has happened at once. The next morning, a certain Sir Phillip Crane showed up at their doors, and before Penelope could understand, Marina jumped in his carriage, leaving Mayfair behind without a second look. Then, James had to retire early to his country estate, a thing he has always done so he may avoid the high temperatures during the long journey there, but he has been sending letters regularly to compensate, and invited her and her family to one afternoon at his estate, whenever they so choose over the off-season.

And then, there is Colin, who has been sending gifts every single day, to her Papa’s growing dismay but her Mama’s astonished delight, who, with Marina now gone, Prudence with no suitor, and Philippa’s Mr Finch having been scared off by the head of the household, has been focusing all her attention on her youngest one. Penelope is both horrified and proud, somehow, an odd mixture she cannot fully grasp.

Her Mama knows James plans on proposing next season, and though pleased, she also seems rather apprehensive of Colin. Overall, she seems frustrated at the lack of imminent proposal from either man.

“These Bridgerton boys, so unreliable,” her Mama said one morning while breaking their fast. “That third one, stringing Marina along and never proposing, I simply do not wish for you to foolishly hope. Lord Remington is a secure match, although as young as Mister Bridgerton, he seems much more serious about marriage!”

Her Mama truly has no idea how similar James and Colin truly are, the only difference between them being a title.

Penelope wonders if Colin has some godly instincts, allowing him to avoid her Mama as he somehow chose the very day she is out of the house to call on Penelope.

“You have mastered the ways of avoiding my family,” she replies at last.

“Not really, Anthony forbade me to leave the house until now. Something about preventing me from tempting scandal,” Colin huffs. “As if he did not try to run away with an opera singer two nights ago.”

“What!”

“Benedict was panicking. Mother thankfully does not know… yet. And I am hoping to bring some news that might distract her. Anthony will owe me.”

Penelope laughs. “It seems you had your own eventful week. But why did he think you would try to tempt scandal?”

Colin clears his throat. “I may have hinted, jokingly, of course, er, perhaps not, that I wished to elope. With you.”

The atmosphere shifts.

“Colin…”

“Penelope.” He takes her hands in his, leaning in. “I must apologise for my blindness. And for taking such… liberties with you.”

“I was very much consenting, to be fair. We can bribe my maid to look away if you wish,” she teases.

“Pen!”

She laughs. “Sorry… sorry. Go on?” she prompts.

“Do not marry him.”

A pause. Penelope pulls back with an unimpressed look. “Try again.”

“Wh—”

“Colin, try again.”

“I was not done actually.”

“You stopped talking!”

“I— got distracted.” Only then does Penelope notice he has been looking at her lips the whole time. He shakes his head and goes down on one knee, hands never letting go of hers. “Penelope Featherington. Penelope. My Pen.”

A smile tugs at her lips. “That is my name, indeed.”

“And are you…?”

“Am I what?”

“Mine.”

“You still have not asked the question.”

He huffs out a smile. “My Pen, my dearest friend, and perhaps something more if you allow us to be. It seems there has been a misunderstanding, for I thought I had made my intentions clear. Every time I came here after the Vauxhall ball, it was you I was hoping to see. It was you I was wishing to court, and I— I believed you knew. And you preferred Remington anyhow, so I sat by Miss Thompson, waiting for an opportunity to speak. One Remington didn’t leave me.”

“Briarly kept announcing you for Marina…”

“And he is lucky I am a gentleman or I do not know what I would do considering his mistake made all of this more complicated than it needed to be!” For emphasis, he glares at the closed door, behind which the footman should be standing. “You could have been mine… weeks ago.”

“Would I be?” she inquires. She tugs at his suddenly tense hands, bringing his gaze back to her. “Colin. My friend, my life, my love, please ask me properly?”

Colin’s eyes shine, hope and adoration swimming in the dark pools of them. Penelope could drown in them, indeed.

“Penelope Featherington, I do not remember a world where you weren’t by my side. From childhood to now, I had a pocket of sunshine by my side. And perhaps I took you for granted, I thought you would always be there, even if our paths may stray. But as I saw you with another, and I felt dissatisfied with the path I had willingly walked on at the beginning of the season, I realised how foolish I had been. It is incredible, how a mere compliment and smile from you pierced through the infatuation I had found myself in. Oh, it is you, of course, it is you. And I can only hope you feel even a slither of what I feel for you, for I know you may simply see me as a friend you felt comfortable enough to… practice, as Daphne put it.”

Penelope blinks. Of course, Daphne told him. She wonders… if the now Duchess had predicted this outcome.

“I love you,” Colin continues, an easy smile on his lips, and all the relief and adoration in the world in the depths of his eyes. “I wish to see the world with you, so we may spend our past, present, and future together. Penelope Featherington, if a husband is what you seek, then let me be yours. Will you marry me? I also already asked your father until he could not take no for an answer, but that is less romantic.”

She laughs, loudly and carefree. “Colin Bridgerton,” she breathes out, a hand reaching for his face. “I have loved you from the moment we met. Yes, I will marry you.”

“From the moment—”

Penelope flushes. “We can discuss that later. Would you kiss me?”

And Colin will, rather gladly.

As luck would have it, the door opens a few moments later before Rae can warn them, and a scandalised Lady Featherington screams at Colin to get away from her daughter.

(Surprisingly enough, no special licence is issued.)

꧁༺࿅ིཽ• –– •❈• –– •࿅ིཽ༻꧂

Daphne fans herself with a proud smile as she overlooks the ball from the top of the staircase. She can see Penelope Featherington, soon to be Bridgerton, discussing vividly with Mr Finch on one side of the room, until Colin strides confidently to her side, finally signs her dancing card, and then swiftly brings her to the dancefloor.

“Your plan, I presume?” Simon whispers into her ear, his eyes equally following the newly engaged pair.

“Indeed,” Daphne confirms firmly. “The moment I heard Penelope wished to find a husband, I knew Colin would need a little push.”

“Seems common in the family.”

“Excuse you! I was willing for a courtship from the beginning, you were the one being difficult with this fake courting nonsense!”

Simon shrugs. “It worked, did it not?”

“You were the one tricked by your own plan,” she huffs. “Anyhow, see? I told you we needed to invite the Featheringtons to our engagement party, for Penelope’s family is an acquired taste, and would soon become a part of ours.”

“Joy,” he deadpans, before he kisses her temple and takes her hand. “Shall we go dance as well, dear wife?”

Daphne closes her fan with one sharp move. “Gladly, dear husband.”

Being the hosts, they easily find a spot right next to Colin and Penelope, so when the dance requires a brief partner change, Daphne finds herself dancing with Colin. She grins at him, nodding towards Penelope who is now dancing with Simon and engaging in a friendly conversation.

“You’re welcome, by the way,” she tells her older brother who rolls his eyes.

“Let’s say we’re even now, yes?”

Daphne hums. Indeed, she may not be married now if it weren’t for Colin telling her about the duel, and later encouraging her to speak with Simon regarding their marital expectations.

“Fair enough. Congratulations, Col.”

“Thank you, Daff.”

She pats him on the arm before they find their respective partner, and dance the night away as a celebration of their future.

[ladyloveandjustice]

Spring 2024 Anime Overview: Girls Band Cry and Jellyfish Can't Swim in the Night

Girls Band Cry

GBC was definitely my favorite new show of the season…and, for some reason, it wasn’t picked up for streaming. It’s one of the many Girl Band Stories that came out this season, but it was the best one. The characters were messy in a way I loved, especially the main character Nina, who’s a complete disaster, angry and loud and sometimes annoying, but so completely real to my experience as a teenage girl who was bullied.

Nina was bullied badly in school, and she’s a high school dropout as a result. Her favorite band helped her get through everything and stand her ground, “saved” her when she was on the verge of giving up on life completely. So when she sees that her fave singer Momoka ended up leaving her band Diamond Dust after the band went in a more commercial direction, the two of them decide to start their own band. Nina is ready to get back at all the people who looked down at them, but Momoka has more complicated feelings about her former bandmates.

Nina being powered by spite—and the series valuing that stubbornness and anger—is what made the series stand out for me, especially because the series just let her be extremely obnoxious sometimes without worrying about her “likeability”,--it made her feel ‘real’ and kind of refreshing. This is a series that starts out with girls going around flipping off people multiple times. The dynamic of the whole band, despite them constantly butting heads, is entertaining. All the characters have rough edges and broken pieces, but they end up fitting together.

The dialogue is fun, the music rocks, the CGI animation is actually super good and expressive. The fact the girls they chose are new to voice acting actually led to some offbeat performances I really liked—the fact it wasn’t as polished as other voice acting fit the characters and honestly made them feel a little more authentic.

The pacing does drag a tiny in the middle, but the climax is explosive and exhilarating. It’s also kind of gay, but in the form of a love confession that’s never really followed up on, (probably so they can have wiggle room to be like ‘how ambiguous was it platonic or romantic maybe she meant she loves ~her music~’) so I don’t count that. But at least it’s the confession isn't completely forgotten about in favor of putting the girls with "appropriate" male love interests (coughs in Sound Euphonium) because the only man on the show of any significance is Nina’s father.

Wholeheartedly recommend the show though, I love these charming disaster girls playing rock songs that slap, finding socially acceptable ways to flip people off, and kicking doors so hard they break them.

Jellyfish Can’t Swim in the Night

Speaking of gay girl band stuff where romantic tension is never followed up on! I binged Jellyfish while I was sick so I guess it counts for this review. It wasn’t nearly as strong as Girls Band Cry but it had stuff going for it!

The premise of this girl band show is that Kano, a former idol who left her career behind after a scandal where she punched another member of her group, runs into Mahiru, a former artist who stopped drawing after a disheartening experience with a jellyfish mural she created. But it turns out Kano loved that mural, and she wants Mahiru to be official artist for her anonymous internet musician persona, JELEE. JELEE picks up other members along the way, including hikikomori VTuber Kiui/Nox Ryugasaki and fangirl pianist Kimura.

Jellyfish had a lot going for it. It wanted to explore the competitive idol industry ruining girls’ lives, abusive parents pressuring their children into becoming extensions of themselves, the budding romance between Kano and Mahiru, the struggle of being trans in a society that forces one into a rigid role and objectifies those it perceives as women, and struggles of remaining creative when often faced with negative feedback.

And uh.... It pretty much fumbled everything but the last two. Granted, it's a soft fumble. A gentle fumble. I can't be too mad about it.

Let's start with the plotline I think it nailed though: Kiui/Ryugasaki (they seem to still use their original name even at the end but also use another name, so that’s what I’m going with) is great, and pretty much the main reason I’d recommend the show.

They’re as blatantly nonbinary as can be without actually saying the word (genderfluid or bigender is also a possibility. But very blatantly trans, either way). They’re also very fun with their over-the-top superhero fantasies. And the storyline where they use their VTuber persona to be comfortable with themself and present themself in the way they want is super compelling and interesting. There are a lot of really moving moments with them, including them shutting down some transphobic bullies (and I mean blantantly transphobic). And we get to see one of their friends enthusiastically support them.

On the other end of the spectrum, the idol and abusive parents subplots were pretty badly handled—we had the usual plot where said parent doing one act of kindness redeems them and things never have to get messy, and the idol plot seemed like it was going somewhere in critiquing how the industry fosters competitiveness and comes down way too hard on its idols for minor misdemeanors or things that shouldn’t be an issue at all, like dating. But then it just kind of ended with a “well internet harassment and destroying lives is bad, but like, we’re all troubled, aren’t we. don't we all vent sometimes." (???)

The plot between Kano and Mahiru…basically there was cheek kissing, blushing, very blatant flirting...and then a big nothingburger of a finale. But hey, Kano does have a gay pride and trans pride patches on her bag, so there’s that.

There's also one absolutely bizarre moment I have to warn about. In one of the episodes the girls run into an adult woman who's had a lot of plastic surgery done. Said adult woman invites the girls to touch her naked boobs (on the pretense of showing them was augmented boobs feel like? Or something?). And they do. As a group. As the woman thinks "they're high school girls, I hope this isn't illegal." IT IS, LADY. VERY ILLEGAL.

It's so out of nowhere that I originally forgot about it writing this, like my brain blacked it out. And then we (thankfully) never see this woman again outside a two second cameo in the finale. Unclear why any of this needed to happen.

So yes, this is basically the Jellyfish experience. The writing of the show was often uneven, it could be really good one second, and rushed and forced the next second. And there are a couple of absolutely baffling moments,

But I'd say on the whole the show is a positive, mostly thanks to Kiui/ Ryugasaki. When it hits, it REALLY hits and the characters are all very loveable. So I give it a reccomendation with a few warnings attached!

[bibibbon]

What fails in MHA: gags/jokes

As well all know gags and jokes are everywhere in shonen but they are rarely done well in my opinion especially in MHA. There isn't a problem with having a bit of comedy in your manga but when the gag or joke either harms the characters development or just is offensive it tends to just fall flat at best and ruin the story at worst.

There are many common and multiple gags hori uses which I HATE:

Izuku/the midoriya family are crybabies. This is one that was VERY PRESENT during the earlier seasons which in my opinion ruined the show and many peoples view of izuku as a character. It makes sense why izuku would cry more then a regular shonen type of MC considering that he is supposed to be a "normal" teenager and he shows some very clear signs of anxiety. I understand when people get annoyed at how much he cries especially because it's very over exaggerated a lot of the time and just depicts him crying a waterfall when you could of just shown him tearing up. It's a bit more excusable for inko but it really doesn't shine a good look on her especially knowing that she is quite emotionally dependent on her son .

Katsuki being mean towards literally anyone and anything. We know that bakugo is a character who is going through a redemption arc to change and become a better person so we shouldn't see him be so aggressive and angry if he is trying to change especially if it's a joke. A gag like that really ruins his development and to me its the reason why I don't think he really changed his attitude or way of thinking towards izuku as much as people like to believe he has ( CANON BAKUGO AND FANON BAKUGO AREN'T THE SAME )

Perverted characters like mineta or sir nighteye .Yes, this is definitely targeted towards mineta and night eye because Iam still very disgusted by the scene of bubble girl and night eye and mineta just gives me the absolute CREEPS. honestly, idk what it is with hori and giving us these type of stuff it's honestly disturbing and disgusting I don't think I would mind if it were done to criticise or lambast something about hero societies pedophilic undertones and the way it loves to sexualise female characters but it's just there as a horrible gag.

Dumbing down denki and making him seem stupid. This is more of making UA look bad because Denki could of been seriously hurt in the usj because of the whole dumbing him down gag and while it isn't the worst gag in the show it kinda falls flat in my opinion and just makes ua look bad. It's also double standards in my opinion because he would be useless in battle if he were to overuse his quirk just like izuku.

The interview scene with mount lady. I don't understand why izuku was ridiculed for his lack of control when it came to blackwhip and it doesn't help that some of the characters where DEFINITELY ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER when they all had the same reaction.

There are some 50/50 gags that still failed due to horikoshi not letting them go or not handling them well.

Izuku's everlasting fanboyism of heroes especially all might. Look this one isn't that bad but like I just don't like the fact that he never grew out of it. I personally like to think that izuku was a big all might fanboy is because he saw all might as the only person who actually believed in him and gave him words of encouragement even if it was through a screen and even if those words where directed towards anyone not only him. As the story progresses izuku should grow to realise that all might is a flawed individual who has cared for him but harmed him at the same time.

Horikoshis perception of izuku being "too intense". This could of easily been incorporated into Izuku's character as an actual character trait that could be used as a gag from time to time. For example we see izuku over think everything or hyper analyse so many small things like fuyumi's cooking. There are moments where izuku seems to come off as weird to other characters and I feel like that shouldn't happen or it should be handled in a better way. I mean how is it that someone doing something so simple as looking at a video intensely will freak/weird you out compared to someone who has a weird quirk or a passerby doing something weird

There are definitely A LOT MORE THAT IAM PROBABLY FORGETTING.

However, hori does have some good gags/ jokes in my opinion, yes they are rare but they do indeed exist like:

Kirishima's manliness. A lot of the time this actually promotes positive masculinity which is something that is definitely needed and it also helps develop kiris character a whole lot more

This one interaction between jiro and tokoyami. I really liked it, it didn't come out as sexual which is something I really enjoyed and you can clearly tell it's just two classmates vibing and trying not to die

Tokoyami and his whole darkness persona. Idk I guess this is me but I like it, it adds a lot to tokoyami while also not being overused .

This one Iam 50/50 with and it's yuuga and his whole I like cheese and I can't stop twinkling persona. I think it adds more depth to his character and foreshadows his role as the traitor to a certain extent but I also find it a bit stereotypical considering the fact that he is french and yuuga will just end up speaking in basic french words and then Japanese

Hawks favourite food ironically being chicken wings. It's simple but it also makes us closer to hawks and can make him a bit more relatable to people

Izuku, iida and shotos hand crusher joke. That has to be my favourite joke in the series it literally didn't end up mocking anyone and cemented one of the best MHA trios

Overall, hori sucks at making truly enjoyable gags and has a lot that harm characters developments especially surrounding his MC Izuku but he can sometimes actually provide enjoyable ones.

[agenericplaceholdername]

Dragons Rising E6-10 Thoughts

Here’s some thoughts on each episode in the latter half of Dragons Rising, Season 1 Part 1:

Return to Imperium:

The color grading of this opening seems off – almost as if it’s a flashback (it’s not, ofc)

JORDANA SPOTTED

The conveyor belts directing people where to go is so on the nose for an authoritarian society

“It's the perfect companion for anyone that might... be lonely” :(

“Unconventional? Perhaps you can forgive her” man this is seriously dystopian but also pretty funny

Sora in her S1 outfit without headphones is kinda cursed

“Ever since the Merge it’s been you and me” I AGREE ARIN. LET’S KEEP IT THAT WAY

Kai’s Wu impression is great

The Advanced Science Lab? Isn’t it the Advanced Systems Lab?

I HATE SORA’S PARENTS I HATE SORA’S PARENTS

The sewer smash cut is perfect. Beyond the Phantasm Cave implies that Sora actually traveled through the sewers before so at least she had a reason to assume there was no security

The public shaming platform? At least it’s not a two hour YouTube video essay documenting your every misdeed (which I will then watch)

This episode sold me on Sora’s character and is essential for her arc this season

Mindless Beasts:

Like the Rapton ad

The Arin chase scene is fun

I certainly hope nothing bad happens to the new shoulder pad store

The Imperium Teenage Protection Force all have shorter legs, meaning they’re probably slightly younger than Arin (or just short)

Every Wyldfyre line is gold: “If I was your enemy, why would I let you out of your cell?” “If you don’t know, how should I?”

Sora says her family was poisoned against her by LaRow— meaning she believes that her parents would have accepted her if not for LaRow. Ofc, we know later that once they see the truth, they don’t change their mind, so her rejection of them means even more

For a scientist, LaRow isn’t very smart (or lab skills =/= street skills)

“I’ve got a master teaching me all the things I’m doing wrong” Arin no he’s trying to help you

Percival talking about him is the first time Lord Ras is identified in front of Arin — before, he was just the “tiger guy”

Rapton has the perfect combination of incredible arrogance and thin skin

Dorama just wants to show off

Ras has such a deeper voice than in S2

The Hunted soundtrack!

LaRow just can’t stop gloating lol. Not sure how a Photac can capture a source dragon 

This episode is pretty important for Arin and Sora, and introduces Wyldfyre… but also isn’t super interesting

I Will Be the Danger:

Wyldfyre opening! Not what I was expecting when I originally watched but super cool. Not sure where she came from tho

The caregiver-bot helping Wyldfyre train is sweet. I wish she came back later (I know she does in a canon(?) novel and there was a deleted scene, but I wish it had been in the show)

Wyldfyre not knowing certain words is a clever detail that isn’t used often

Percival is so not convincing as an antagonist

JORDANA NAMED??

Considering the other empty holes in the portal gate room—are they supposed to link to other monasteries? Since the one Kai goes through links to the Imperium Monastary?

You probably are famous among ghosts Kai, considering the whole Morro thing

Poor Riyu

Thank you Sora, she really is weird— oh shoot Dorama! forgot about him

“I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS ‘SHUT UP’!” and then the one take after are pure Wyldfyre gold

The “ninja think Sora betrayed them” plot line could have gone somewhere but didn’t, and honestly I hate bad miscommunication plots so all good

Weird way to end

This episode peaks with the opening scene, and is generally fine outside

The Calm Inside:

Green eyes child Lloyd voiced by Sam Vincent is off putting. I get why they do this but whatever. The lighting/texturing in this scene (maybe bc of the rain) also makes Lloyd and Wu look super plasticy

Good lesson tho, and I’m glad it keeps coming up

Arin and Sora are a great duo

Melvin, remember, always do the bare minimum that gets you paid

And so the Empress joins the main plot

Super cool protective Lloyd is great, leaping down to pull Wyldfyre back from the Photac

What’s his “big plan” Beatrix? Why does Ras want Riyu? “You can’t [drain him] yet. My plan for—” no wait he was about to say it!

Ras is so mad at Beatrix omg

Kai and Nya have interacted more now than in any season post Hands of Time right?

So how did Arin trip? Tbf he punched himself in the face so makes sense

Ok the show just made the same joke after I wrote it, I guess I forgot

This sweat thing reminds me of the first Sam Raimi Spider-Man movie (the blood scene)

Lloyd being surrounded by chaos is overshadowed by the very strange design of imaginary Wu, but the scene leading up to Wu is so great. The music, the action, the direction— really stellar. Someone needs to let this guy take a break

Not Rapton’s unicorn figurines!

Excellent rhetorical comeback Lloyd

Ras is so cool -- singlehandedly fighting multiple dragons

Zane! But how did he end up in that pod?

Jordana! Sora is just totally lost lol

Do you think Kai, Nya, and Zane were planning on jumping out or was it spontaneous?

Lot of questions in this episode, and it would probably be better if they saved Lloyd hitting the targets for a flashback later in the episode (that is, end the first flashback before Wu gives Lloyd the lesson)

That being said it’s the best one since E6 and a good setup for the finale

The Battle of the Second Monastery:

Jordana getting insulted by LaRow (albeit indirectly) :(

This is probably very overwhelming for Zane

Everything seems particularly saturated in this scene 

The Jordana reveal is very good. Funny, but also kinda heartbreaking since Sora was just using her technology to give herself a friend

Lord Ras is not very nice (although he’s right how do you lose to two mostly-untrained teenagers who are in handcuffs)

Arin and Sora use Jordana swinging her sword to free themselves, just like Lloyd did in E2. Shows how far they’ve come (much better than when they fight Ras, which just diminishes him as an antagonist)

Ouch Lloyd, always look before you leap

“As opposed to those really strong gnats” I’d spend some more time workshopping those comebacks Arin

The Source Dragon scene is SO cool!

Sora beats Ras mostly though luck but the real question is why was he running so slowly

And so we finish the S1P1 aspect of Sora’s arc, although her conclusion of “having a responsibility to use her powers” is very similar to the end of E5

Sad Arin :( already made a post relating this scene to what happens in S2 but it takes on a whole new meaning knowing what happens after

Beatrix imprisoning Ras actually makes a ton of sense and I might make a whole post talking about why (and her character generally)

The Ras fight isn’t great - I get why it happens and Arin and Sora don’t really beat him physically, but it does undermine him as a threat. The rest of the episode is really good tho, especially the vision

Next up, the first half of S1P2!

[daystarvoyage]

Hi! I read somewhere about someone not liking Luz's ending since she "didn't grow as a person" at the end of the owl house. They said that she only became more depressed or traumatized but she's still the same cheerful and helpful girl like in the first episode of season 1. Do you agree?

Hello Hope you have a great day from the brown sugar queen, I know it’s late by the time you get this so ima clear a lot,

time for the tea.

Now i have all the love and heart for my girl Luz Noceda but lemme me tell you her personality made me look at how she was handled gave me a SIDE-EYE besides that,

Yes, i agree on this, definitely,

I felt That the crew wanted to do so much with the show but felt they had no idea writing Luz, however they too had there drawbacks, Yes I LOVE LUZS CHARACTER AND SHE IS SELFLESS A GOOD FRIEND (even if it’s the wrong person) Loyal, and cheerful. How we get moments that

Luz's character can be bastardized!

i feel fans try to view her as this bubbly girl boss, we know and love, however we overlook her flaws cause of discourse. she’s this impressionable, unruly, explosive girl with self imaging issues & unresolved grief, that effected her lifestyle.

I truly do depict her as a girl failure which ill get to a list of reasons, I’ll be getting into

EDITED its Masculization

heres a term masculinization comes to her character writing, style-wise, cause this word has been used throughout the animation to the point it’s a trope.

Now let’s get down to reasons why, she gets to the way she is.

Luz wants to do so much for others, that she hasn't practiced learning about self-love and acceptance, it all backtracks in her past of her deceased father & trying to relate to earth kids with opposite interests that can be harmful.

I felt they truly had fun time to an extent how they can push her in a negative direction, (this goes for hunter which I’ll do a post/video soon.)

how they wanted her to be more of an edge lord along the series run, (and the proper writing of the show didn’t help.)

Heck to the point in season 3, she never interacted with anyone on earth in her school, which is concerning, cause that can lead to self-harm or failed relationships, also known people as kikimora or talking to her other friends in season 3 coulda gave her a wake up call.

ALSO CAN WE BRING UP LYING TO HER LOVE ONES OUT OF NO WHERE! Season 1

DRAGGING THEM THROUGH MORTAL PERIL IN SEASON 2!

AND NO NEURODIVERAGENCE DOESNT EXCUSE BAD BEHAVIOR OR BLACK FEATURES BEING MINIMIZED.

2.They should've let a POC (person of color) write Luz cause of how she turned out Personality-wise throughout the series, which I rewatched, along critic videos and yes even in season 3 they decided to make her some shonen wannabe edge lord,(A wannabe Pokemon Goh But more emo.)

Luz's is flawed, as a character & written wise, felt the show didn’t know how to write for POC, cause fans who are another ethnicity might view this, and say oh, where portrayed as this etc, but without our black features or even how where portrayed in society in social norms.

Yes I did a post on her fashion & wardrobe and how it affects a character, boy they got my girl looking a hobo at times. ( and the good so called hair symbolism could’ve made Luz even better.)

ALSO (I may be ranting but hope ya listen)

Hated how they tried to Mary Sue her at certain episodes when she's faced with problems or issues that can affect everyone in dire times, for example,

her willingness to learn magic, which she can be impressionable and wanting Praise for the wrong reasons, but To be loved I Understand.

She is a person wanting acceptance and tolerance ( which that whole wanting to be understood season 3 dialogue could've been for season 1), just to be liked by a new world, would have fleshed out her character more, and given the viewers and her friends reasoning why she does staggering things.

also when she wanted to get to learn magic from her sensei, Knowing Eda knew how unpredictable & reckless at times luz can be, but Eda has her issues. throughout 4 episodes I think its been dragged out she has done stupid things to put others in harm's way even OWLBERT.

3.she can act nonchalant & ambivalent in dire situations, (to the point her friends should've Gotten angry with her actions, GUS AND WILLOW PERIOD) But don't worry all that's being glazed with the Mary Sue trope, discourse, & her being submissive to amity,

which she can take many stabbings and hits for a cause you know all is well with a Good ship. INSERT SARCASM

tragically i do feel she ended up a girl failure, But they Try hard at girl bossing her up, cause she was put in situations where she didn't have dire punishments and consequences. plus excepting a power she had no choice accepting at the season finale,

Comment below for more, about how Luz should be improved or the fact the series could've written her better.

Hopes this answers all your questions, have a great starlight day. glad we can unlock the topic with a key, & sip some tea.

A VIDEO I DID DOWN BELOW FOR MORE ON LUZ.

[amarimeta]

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon deliver one of the greatest performances of the decade: No

The Television Academy watching Carrie Coon act cunty in a soap opera: Yes

no because literally WHAT GOES ON.

gilded age mutuals look away if you must but COME ON. LETS BE SERIOUS. i looooooove gilded age i love nothing television i love this stupid soapy show about my beautiful princess with a disorder and the entire town who hates her. HOWEVER. you (the academy) need to look me in the EYE and tell me carrie’s performance as bertha russell is the best she’s ever done. WHAT ARE YOU SAYING. i LOVE bertha. but she is NOT the crazy girl of all time. she is NOT the bravest girl on earth. she is NOT nora durst.

“ace you have to think about the strength of schedule” THE LEFTOVERS WAS ONLY EVER NOMINATED FOR ONE EMMY. AND IT WAS FOR ANN DOWD GUEST ACTRESS IN THE MOST POWERFUL MAN IN THE WORLD (and his identical twin brother). LIKE THATS A WHOLE OTHER CAN OF WORMS. the show was never nominated. the writing was never nominated. the directing was never nominated. i have no love for the man but justin theroux was never nominated?? CARRIE?!?! WAS ?!?! NEVER ?!?!? NOMINATED ??!?!,!?!?! after the performance of HER lifetime, MY lifetime, every single person who ever has or ever will live’s lifetime???

do not click the read more unless you want me to complain about strength of schedule for each season. i get very specific i’m sorry.

SEASON 1 - 67th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 5 (WINNER)

better call saul season 1

downton abbey season 5

homeland season 4

house of cards season 3

mad men season 7 part 2

orange is the new black season 2

haven’t watched house of cards or homeland (to be fair i DID watch homeland s5 for miranda otto like five years ago), haven’t watched oitnb in YEARS, haven’t gotten to mad men season 7 OR downton season 5 yet. HOWEVER. i do not care. take downton s5 off from there. mind u i bought the downton collectors boxset two weeks ago i have all the dvds i have a stupid ass bell TAKE IT OFF AND PUT THE LEFTOVERS ON THERE!!!! or take homeland season 4 off idc what happened on it but why is tracy letts a main character on a show nominated YOUR WIFE IS BEING ROBBED TRACY!!! DEFEND HER!!! wait i just realized i hadn’t even mentioned game of thrones season 5 being the winner. i can’t say anything at this point i just have to laugh.

lead actor jon hamm won for mad men again idk what happens in s7 i haven’t even finished season 1. as a newsroom and better call saul enjoyer i will not advocate for either of them to be removed so get rid of kevin spacey and put theroux up there. would carrie have been nominated as lead for s1? i think she’d be supporting no? in which case take emilia clarke off for game of thrones I’M SORRY I’M NOT HATING BUT WE NEED TO BE REALISTIC HERE. IT IS SEASON 5 GAME OF THRONES. YOU ARE NOT OUTDOING NORA DURST. supporting actor christopher get your ass up there!! jonathan banks get your ass down here. i will sound like a jonathan banks hater in the rest of this post and i’m not we just need to be serious here as a collective. mike ehrmantraut could never do the leftovers. sorry. (jim carter nom for carson on downton is actually for me personally which i think is beautiful).

mother’s mercy winning for best directing AND best writing is insane. game of thrones we will never forgive you for many things. (unrelated how did bcs five-o get a best writing nom and not any other episode of season 1. mike lovers have too much power in our society. we need to kill them.)

SEASON 2 AKA THE STRONGEST SEASON OF TELEVISION YOU CAN EVER WATCH IN YOUR LIFE - 68th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

game of thrones season 6 (winner)

the americans season 4

better call saul season 2

downton abbey season 6

homeland season 5

house of cards season 4

mr. robot season 1

AGAIN. GAME OF THRONES WINNING BEST DRAMA LIKE YOU ARE NOOOOT SERIOUS PEOPLE. YOU ARE JOKING. americans and bcs <33 downton season 6 i’ve heard awful things about you. homeland season 5 HEY that’s the season i watched!! yea get rid of game of thrones and put the leftovers in there and MAKE THE LEFTOVERS WIN. IMMEDIATELY.

lead actor idk get rid of kevin spacey again. lead actress tatiana maslany i know you were working overtime im so sorry unfortunately i’m taking this away from you. please understand i’ll give it back to you for a different year but this one is carrie’s. btw im replacing claire danes on homeland in terms of nominations. supporting actress i cannot believe i am taking this away from maggie smith but we are giving this to either ann dowd, regina king, or amy brenneman. MIND YOU REGINA KING WON FOR SUPPORTING IN A LIMITED SERIES SO I THINK WE SHOULD GIVE HER THE DOUBLE WHAMMY but if you want to argue its ann dowd i will not fight you. also get maura tierney off of that nominations list NOT HATING ON MAURA simply hating on the affair. we need to be serious. supporting actor i’m taking down jonathan banks and kit harrington sorry putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. i’ll let the academy decide who wins but it IS between them two. no one else. sorry.

battle of the bastards winning both writing and directing again hey guys not sure if i’ve mentioned this before but i hate game of thrones the television show that cannot hurt me and isn’t real!!! and also THAT SEASON WAS NOT GOOD. directing wise we’re getting rid of the door for game of thrones and writing wise we’re getting rid of battle of the bastards CONGRATULATIONS THE LEFTOVERS SEASON TWO EPISODE EIGHT INTERNATIONAL ASSASSIN YOU ARE THE GRAND PRIZE WINNER!!! THE BEST EPISODE OF TELEVISION EVER!!!! YOU DID IT!!! YOU HAVE NOW WON BEST DIRECTING AND BEST WRITING YIPPEE!!!!

SEASON 3 (my beloved) - 69th primetime emmy awards

BEST DRAMA

the handmaid’s tale season 1 (winner)

better call saul season 3

the crown season 1

house of cards season 5

stranger things season 1

this is us season 1

westward season 1

sorry handmaid’s tale you are not keeping the win. you can keep the nom i guess. get rid of stranger things for me. anyways the leftovers season three you ARE THE FATHER!!! (but also hiii better call saul season 3)

lead actor i like sterling k brown so he’s keeping the win but once again goodbye spacey and theroux enjoy your nomination. lead actress elisabeth not only are you not getting the win i might take the nomination from you too. sorry. carrie coon needs it more. we need to be on the right side of history. supporting actress ann dowd won which i can’t BE TOO UPSET ABOUT but im taking millie bobby brown’s nomination away and giving it to amy brenneman like i’m sorry but we need to be serious here. supporting actor i’m taking jonathan banks and mandy patinkin down and putting up christopher eccelston and kevin carroll. OBVIOUSLY.

AND OF COURSE ANN DOWD IS WINNING FOR BEST GUEST ACTRESS LIKE. alexis bledel sweetie i’m sorry but that award is not yours. but please take a picture with alison wright for me i would enjoy that.

best directing went to handmaid’s tale offred. i’m sure it was a good ep. anyways taking that down and taking stranger things ep 1 down and putting both most powerful man in the world and book of nora. book of nora is winning probably. (also taking down bcs witness and putting up chicanary. like come on here folks). best writing ALSO went to offred yea sorry. it can stay up i guess i’m just taking down stranger things ep 1 and putting up book of nora which will be winning. (notice how chicanery was properly nominated here).

well that’s all from me!!! so happy that everything i just wrote actually happened!! i can’t believe the leftovers won so many emmys BUT IT WAS WELL DESERVED!!

[theplatypusblue]

Hrmmm thinking about wind in ninjago. And destiny and Morro and Euphrasia and stuff. Sorry if it gets slightly long lol

Umm so like wind is kind of free-flowing and fluid. It’s similar to water in that way, but it’s also different in the sense that you can’t really put wind into, say, a cup or a bucket. You can’t contain it — it’s unrestrained. It just kind of goes and does whatever it wants. You can see this is in both elemental masters of wind shown in the show so far.

It’s fairly obvious with Morro, but also slightly ironic. He tried so so so hard to be the green ninja, even when it was obvious that wasn’t what destiny had in mind. Even after he dies and becomes a ghost he tries to defy his destiny (see all of season 5). I feel like I don’t have to explain this part much, he’s trying to defy destiny, that’s like kind of his whole thing, blah blah blah.

But isn’t that kind of weird? Destiny itself acts like a container, right? It’s a controlling force; it dictates where you’re going to go, what you’re going to do etc etc. It’s like a box. And it’s a little weird cuz like…. for all his shit about defying destiny and all that… Morro very much wants to be placed into a box. He’s definitely not a fan of the box he’s in right now, but rather than trying to meaningfully “free” himself, he spends all of his time trying to climb into someone else’s box — Lloyd’s. It makes his efforts to ~defy destiny~ seem misguided, or at the very least a bit pathetic.

With Euphrasia, it’s a bit less literal. There isn’t like, any specific path of destiny that she’s trying to get out of, per se; it’s more like the expectations of Cloud Kingdom society. The episode she features in mainly focuses on her choosing to be true to herself. Not having to hide her powers or letting others tell her what she should do. She makes it clear that she’s the only person who can decide those kinds of things. In that sense it’s kind of about self-determination or autonomy (kind of the direct opposite idea of “destiny” or “fate,” where a greater force is the thing that defines your life). In that sense, it feels like Euphrasia stays more true to the idea of wind I talked about before: free-flowing and not-giving-a-shit.

Societal expectations and destiny are both things that can control a person, if you allow them to. I like to think that the callbacks and references to destiny in Euphrasia’s episode weren’t just meant to harken back to season 5, but to help show what it means to be a master of wind in the first place.

So anyway yeah wind is all about defying destiny and all stuff 👍 and morro is a bit of a loser 👍 hopefully this was somewhat coherent lol

[sapphic-agent]

One has to wonder if Izuku's propping up of characters that don't deserve his respect has anything to do with him projecting his own heroic mentality onto everyone else. To be honest, this is biggest issue I have with him-he is willing to defend people like Aizawa, Bakugo or Endeavor even though they don't deserve it and expects the same out of others, and I've noticed that he has a tendency to trivialize the past trauma of others if that stops them from being as heroic as he is (all but demanding that Shoto use his fire and later on that he forgive his abuser because HE wouldn't let the fact he was abused for his whole life get in the way of mastering his quirk to become more effective, the whole Nagant fight where he sticks to the hero system even when he has direct evidence of the hero system being fundamentally corrupt and that he was on the wrong side all along, etc).

In my humble opinion, it boils down to him being a mouthpiece for Horikoshi. Bakugou, Endeavor, and Aizawa are characters he wants us to see in a positive light, and what better way to do that than for the main character (a "true hero," at that) to reaffirm their positive traits (Bakugou's strength and ambition, Aizawa being hard on his students because he cares, and Endeavor putting in the work to change).

It's definitely more present in the later seasons. For Bakugou and Aizawa it somewhat makes sense; he's been conditioned to think that Bakugou can do what he wants because he's strong and compared to some of his past teachers, he probably thinks Aizawa is a good teacher. He's desensitized to their behavior because he's been dealing with it for so long. But to extend that same courtesy to Endeavor is... Weird.

I've talked about him claiming that Todoroki's ready to forgive Endeavor before. It felt painfully out of character considering that Izuku said nothing about Endeavor all this time. Not once did he talk about what he thought about Endeavor's actions. But for some reason after 4 seasons, the first thing he does say in this regard is that the victim (his best friend) is getting ready for forgive him. This is even more odd since Izuku himself wouldn't be aware of the progress Endeavor even made. I have no other explanation other than it's Horikoshi's own feelings on the matter being projected onto Izuku.

Nagant, though, I feel is a little different. Izuku sticking to his morals and pushing through to save Chisaki isn't a bad thing. He also never denied that society was corrupt. But he maintains the attitude that if he keeps on doing the right thing for everyone else he can ebb the problem away. That was kind of the point of Dark Deku (albeit, executed horribly). And that's why Nagant accepted defeat (and later helped the heroes). She realized that if Izuku can keep his morals in such a toxic society, then all hope wasn't lost and that she shouldn't give up on the world. Missed opportunity for her to pursue Izuku a little longer, it would have been great for his character to have her really influence him and his thinking.

(Izuku should absolutely acknowledge the faults of society more than he does though in canon. Especially considering he was a victim of it. But if he does, he's no longer in a place where he can justifiably prop characters like Bakugou and Endeavor. And without Izuku as a mouthpiece, Bakugou doesn't really have a leg to stand on in terms of redemption)

I don't think him wanting Todoroki to use his fire had anything to do with Todoroki's worth as a hero. That was the guise Izuku used to get through to him because it was what Todoroki based his worth off of. In actuality, Izuku was encouraging Todoroki to take autonomy for the power he was born with and not to allow Endeavor to corrupt that aspect of him. Todoroki was holding himself back; not in terms of power but im terms of healing. And Izuku knew that.

You could make the argument that he was being insensitive. It's entirely valid. But I think he and Tododoki understand one another in ways that others don't. Todoroki understood Izuku's intention, which was why he responded positively to it.

(It's actually a very nice contrast to Bakugou trying to goad him into using his fire. Izuku's intentions are selfless and meant to help Todoroki, Bakugou's are selfish and somewhat mirror what his father wants. He's able to use his fire against Izuku because he knows that there's no ulterior motive behind Izuku's actions, he genuinely wants to help. Whereas Bakugou just wants to prove he's stronger and has zero consideration or sympathy for what Todoroki went through)

[gothicprep]

so glad that AI video is here! sort of. kind of. you ever want to see a screensaver that looks like it was designed for windows 2000, where fish are flying through the air across village streets? sora can do that with one easy prompt! you ever wanna see a woman lying in bed, roll over, and watch her arm turn into the comforter? sora can do that too! it's amazing! do you ever want to see a POV of an ant's tunnel that looks like something worse than what you'd see on bbc's planet earth? sora can do that too!

i'm sure we've all seen these videos and many more at this point. the ai evangelists swear that this is a game-changing revolution in its ability to turn simple prompts into movie quality video. assuming that movie quality means a late-stage mcu movie, or madame web, or a direct to video dreamworks knockoff from the early 2000s. really? none of those things. it's not as good as any of those things. and yeah, yeah, i know, "it's going to improve", "this is the worst it's ever gonna look", "it's gonna get more realistic". but there are some who will tell you that this is the beginning of a brave new world. a whole new era! we've got a whole movement that's going to unlock creativity that's been untapped, trapped within people who have no actual talent but, um, some ideas i guess. there's a deep reservoir of those people who society has been wasting for all these years.

let's be real here. more likely, the AI is probably going to be used to much more boring ends than new great works of art when it's not being used for more nefarious ends. on the more boring side of things, you'll have people on the internet say "what if you had batman fight the straw hat pirates from one piece? that's something an ai could do!" fanfic kind of stuff. "what if goku fought superman? who would win? i'll bet ai can show us that!" another thing it can bring to life? sex tapes that you didn't make, but you're going to be starring in! get ready for the future where someone gets mad at you online, and five seconds later, you're in a bondage orgy! have fun at the bondage orgy! that's what ai promises :)

but that's not the worst of it, believe it or not. the real problem with ai is that it's going to give bad actors the ability to create international crises by ginning up phony videos. want to spark a riot in the urban center of a country you don't like? fake a video of a cop killing a kid. it'll go viral and the gas stations will be burning before the city can prove it didn't happen.

wife & i were watching the second season of tokyo vice last night while we were waiting for true detective: night country to come on, and in the premiere episode, there's a video of a sex worker being beaten to death while a gov't minister looks on. when presented with the video, he pulls the shaggy defense and just says "it wasn't me". the denial doesn't wash because the technology at the time couldn't have faked it, but in short order, we're going to be in a future where we won't be able to prove it was or wasn't him. "oh, it was ai". welp. no one will know.

the ability to circulate low-quality, unverified information has real downsides. and if anything, the decades during which i've grown up with the internet prompts me towards a lot more wariness of ai than unbridled enthusiasm. if the best case scenario for ai is what the internet did to the information environment already, we're all fucked. the speed with which things can spread and proliferate is frankly terrifying. the prompts people are using now are dumb, and the programming is not very good, but the ai evangelists are right when they say it's going to get better. and as it gets better, it's going to be more tempting to use it in ways which absolutely are negative for society. i'm sure there are cgi artists working at major studios who will be able to use these things in good ways, but i sit here and i hear people talk about "oh, the great wave of creativity is going to be unleashed by ai!" and i'm just like. what kind of future are you living in, where the technology always works out the way you want, and everyone is happy, and there are flying cars in the sky and rainbows?

[theroundbartable]

I think when we talk about Polin scenes we don't talk enough about the "courage" scene.

Colin has just been the hero of the day with the whole baloon disaster and is asked how he found the courage to react so fast and I think there are a couple things we keep overlooking:

1. He's about to talk, then sees Penelope, then he stutters and he changes direction. He looks at her and only her. Because the message is for her alone. But he says it in front of many, MANY people who should have clear sight of his focus on Pen. He can't get out of that position yet, but he will never be too ashamed to talk to her. He's signifying that he'll always make space for her in some way.

2. He makes a full on throwback to season 1, when Pen told him: " if one finds oneself in love. One should declare so loudly, fervently and bravely." Colin chooses that moment to give her a hint. Multiple hints, in fact.

A) Colin: " I did that for you. To protect you from that baloon." His eyes are on her, because when people ask where he found his courage, she is the true answer.

B) Colin: "You were the one who taught me how to be brave. Because you told me not to be afraid to chase after my dreams. (Travels, love, etc.)"

C) Colin: "I'm quoting you from when you were about to confess, maybe, I think, hopefully, because I love you, look at me! Do you hear me?!?! Thats why I did that. I was brave because I love you!"

D) he's telling her that she's brave and should take what she WANTS. And perhaps hoping that she'll come confess to HIM because she might want HIM too, alas she turns around and goes to Debling and it breaks his heart.

-> he's looking for signs for Pen's feelings for him and finds himself rejected as soon as she turns around and looks at someone else.

3. Penelope sees him, does not understand the reference for what it is, but for something else because she has been publically rejected by him and has accepted that fact as such.

A) Colin is telling her to be brave. He's telling her that she IS brave, like he told her that she already knows how to do society.

B) He's encouraging her to go after Debling. Because Colin cannot know who her real feelings are for, and she must assume that Colin believes she has feelings for Debling, so that's the conclusion she draws.

C) he's making himself look even more heroic in front of so many ladies who all like him and to her, it's another public rejection because Colin is popular with the ton despite LW, while she is not and never will be. She can see, plain as day, that she'll never belong like he does and it's a reminder for her that she cannot hold on to Colin any longer. If she'd had hope for them until then, she's giving it up at that moment and decides to go after Debling.

Do you realize how insane that is that they conveyed ALL of that in two minutes?! With one scene?!?!

So much was communicated, so much was miscommunicated, and ya'all go feral over the every other scene instead (not that that's a bad thing, I just want to sound obsessed).

You can see where the tether between them breaks. How Colin finally dares to reach out and Pen lets go for good and how it destroys them both! Can't you see it? Can't you see how their entire personalities are driven to that moment? How this is the height of the tension? The last moment they are as they had been? Their last chance at conveying their true feelings before every attempt is doomed to be a scandal?!? And there is no going back to the friendship they'd had?

Am I the only one?!?!

[pinkorchidsinspring]

Ivy is so so gay, to explain let us lyric analyze:

How's one to know? I'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones, In a faith forgotten land

Hoax: “your faithless love’s the only hoax I believe in”

A complicated relationship with religion is not something lacking throughout gay culture.

Taylor is more than likely referencing her own struggle with her relationship to a religion not approving of her sexuality.

Your touch brought forth an incandescent glow, Tarnished but so grand

The lovers touch while beautiful, was a sin, and wrong in the view of most but to Taylor this touch was amazing despite being tainted with those ideas.

Oh, goddamn, My pain fits in the palm of your freezing hand, Taking mine, but it's been promised to another

This is probably a reference to the "adultery" being committed here, because the narrator has a fiancé/beard.

Oh, I can't, Stop you putting roots in my dreamland

She can’t control this love.

Her dreamland of “Folklore” is based in her real, honest, raw emotions.

She can’t stop this lover from being the reason for this dreamland.

I wish to know, The fatal flaw that makes you long to be, Magnificently cursed

Being gay has never been easy, and early on makes everyone who is gay in any way, wonder why they can’t just be straight. Taylor has most likely dealt with her own version of internalized homophobia shown in the original version of “Picture to Burn”: “Go and tell your friends that I'm obsessive and crazy, that's fine; I'll tell mine you're gay”.

Clover blooms in the fields, Spring breaks loose, the time is near, What would he do if he found us out?

This whole paragraph just gives forbidden gay love, and screams I don't want to care what other people think in this moment.

Crescent moon, coast is clear

Again with the hiding in “coast is clear”

Associated with feminine energy??? Combined with the coast is clear??? Yep, screams hetero.

Spring breaks loose, but so does fear

So very gay. Very gay. Come on. Sound like recent political events in America? With the turn of a new season, fear, specifically fear of being caught together, or the media finding out becomes more relevant than normal.

He's gonna burn this house to the ground

This male partner/beard is going to ruin their relationship, completely out of fear of what would happen if the truth of who she loved came out.

I'd live and die for moments that we stole, On begged and borrowed time

Even though this love was kept a secret, it was still Taylor’s whole life at the time.

These moments were "on begged and borrowed time" due to outside pressure. Possibly the pressure to be straight, and to appear straight, and not have longing looks directed at your "best friend".

So yeah, it's a fire, It's a goddamn blaze in the dark, And you started it, You started it, So yeah, it's a war

You Are In Love: “You understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars”

The Great War -so LGBTQIA

She finally understands that she has to fight through societies pressures to keep the love of her life.

It's the goddamn fight of my life

What would be so hard about being straight and in love with Joe Alwyn? Especially when you’re only known for writing break up songs about “men”…

Most recently while introducing “Dear, John” Taylor told swifties that : we should not “feel the need to defend [her] on the internet against someone [we] think [she] might have written a song about 14 billion years ago."

There are many things that don’t allow this song to have a hetero explanation. These are the things. <3

My other song analysis’ if you’re interested <3

[noitsnote113]

Lucas and Mike arc parallels and how that explains Mike in s4. (Long)

This is gonna be both a Mike analysis, a Lucas one, and a little bit of a Will analysis. But mostly Mike. We have a lot to unpack on Mike.

I’ve always, in a way, have found Lucas and Mike very alike. I would almost say the show is contrasting these two characters to each other in a way that makes the viewer know Mike’s fate because of Lucas’s arc.

Lucas & Mike contrasts

Let’s start in s3. Because this isn’t something new that’s sprouted in ONLY s4. Do we recall that in s3, Lucas is Mike’s romantic guide? And you might say “oh this JUST a silly little detail, it’s not THAT important.” When it’s bigger than that. Mike seeks Lucas and Lucas only when his relationship is in a bad place. He takes his advices even in s4 when Lucas isn’t there w him to guide him. If we recall Lucas’s line in s3 “Girls like pretty things”, and when Mike flew to cali what does he pick up for El? DING DING, Flowers!! Keeping Lucas’s advice true and still following them. Because he is guiding himself from what Lucas does (that works for him and max) and is keeping on these advices even when Lucas isn’t there. And why is that? Because Mike doesn’t have parents to look up to/ask these questions. Because let’s be honest, Karen and Ted wouldn’t answer. Because they ARENT in love, and Mike knows this. But Lucas? He is a DIRECT contrast to Mike in this, because his family isn’t perfect, but the love is THERE. It’s real, so Lucas CAN ask. Thus, Lucas KNOWS about relationships/how to approach these things, and that’s why Mike asks. He is the polar opposite to Lucas in his home life but the show doesn’t let you think about this because he (Mike) is worried on getting El a gift to win her back (letting viewers not think about why Mike relies on Lucas the whole of s3.)

Lucas wanting to fit in FOR society/Mike wanting to fit in FOR El parallels

So anyway, let’s skip to season 4. Lucas’s case is different from Mike’s here. Of course, Mike’s character arc IS about trying to fit in through s2-s3 (*cough* comphet). But he doesn’t mind appearing like a nerd INFRONT of others in s4, he doesn’t care. This is where his differences with Lucas are CLEAR, because Lucas does care! Because appearing a certain way for others will stop him (Lucas) from being bullied. But Mike does not do this, thus his “You forget, we don’t want to be popular.” comment in s4 when Lucas suggested that they be anything (popular) else than nerds in the eyes of others.

But that’s the thing, Mike cares if only El finds him cool. Keep in mind, both of them in their different ways, are doing the same thing. Lucas wants to be different/cool FOR society and Mike wants to be cool FOR el. And are we forgetting about what Lucas said at the end of s4 whilst realizing that wanting to be something your not is useless?

“I thought I wanted to be like you. Popular, normal.”

And that line could very much be used with Mike and Lucas. Mike wanting to be just like Lucas in some aspects (*drum roll* Liking women!! bc that’s where he wants to be like Lucas in!!) and realizing by the end (just like Lucas did) that that’s useless. So what is the end of Lucas’s character arc? Him accepting that being popular and trying to be something he’s not ISNT gonna get him anywhere. And who are we expecting this same character development from? Mike in s5.

Mike’s being apart from El but clinging on for symbolisms of Childhood & Will

But back to Mike, because his character didn’t reach comprehension and self awareness like s4 Lucas did (as it’s reserved for s5.) Anyway, Mike doesn’t care if others don’t find him cool. Because he feels like he ISNT enough as he is for El and ONLY her, no one else (And this isn’t “cute”, this is a deep insecurity problem of thinking the person won’t accept you for who you really are.)

But ever since El is gone, do u think he’ll try to be something that he’s not without the person that makes him feel like he has to in the first place? No. Because with her gone, he doesn’t have to hide anything anymore or suppress who he is in order to seem cool for her (respectfully, how do ppl find this “cute”?).

And the biggest proof for this is that he joins hellfire to seek for that part of him he thinks is LOST since he has kept it hidden for so long (when being w her.) He wants to reconnect w what he threw away in s3 (this is what i call character growth). The people that say that Mike joined hellfire FOR El are crazy. Because not only would that not make sense, but it’s the fact that we have never seen El and DND be associated in any way. So that could be only one or two things. Either be symbolism for Will, or be a symbolism on Mike’s happiness/nerdy side. But I think it’s both. Since as we know, Will’s whole character arc is about embracing being different. Being nerdy, if you may. (Keep in mind, this is exactly what mike’s trying to suppress.) We have been introduced this since s1 with both will and jonathan, just as we got introduced to Mike trying to be cool for El in s1 (him shutting up about his toys just because El seemed uninterested).

Lucas and Mike’s arcs being contrasted and Mike and Will’s being intertwined

Therefore, Mike and Will’s arcs are connected (either take this platonically or romantically, it works both ways) because their arcs are the opposite wholely. They are different through and through. And that’s exactly what makes them be intertwined.

And Lucas and Mike’s arcs are too!! For contrast!! The show is telling us what happened to Lucas when he wasn’t being true to himself, they are making us expect the same for Mike (that is more or less doing the same thing.)

Lucas being a role model for Mike in relationships and to help Mike w the stuff that helps HIM with max clearly is lacking. Obviously, this isn’t working w El, because just as Max isn’t El, El ISNT Max. Lucas told Mike in s3 about gifts, and he has kept on with that advice since forever. But that’s the thing, El doesn’t want acts of service, she wants him to say that he loves her. This contrasts Mike with Lucas AGAIN because Lucas’s advice is Mike’s form of hiding who he is as well.

Anywho, back to Will! He is a person that ommits everything Mike is feigning not to be. And by reconnecting with dnd (which Mike has claimed was childish in the past) I feel like Mike not only finds nostalgia and happiness in it but it reminds him of Will. Because Will isn’t seen suppressing being “childish” or rejecting dnd. He doesn’t take any shame in that. Because Will’s character arc is to be rewarded for this mentality of not sucking up to what people want him to be in s5! (And there is no way of doing this if he’s not ending up with Mike.)

And I would like to add, we know that people that have feigned to be someone/something they’re not in this series typically don’t end up well in this facade. Ex. El to Mike, Nancy to Steve, Dustin in the snowball, Robin to Vickie, and Lucas. <- So would we really expect for Mike, who has been paralleled to Lucas SINCE s3 to end up any different than Lucas did in the end of s4 when he realizes that not being yourself is worse than sucking up to what people want you to be? And how would we get Mike to end well or any different than any of these characters seen as he is following their SAME patterns? And if he is following their same patterns he is gonna have their same resolution : being exposed for who he truly is.

I also want to add that in 4x1 we see him letting go of these expectations and I feel like this explains why he joined the hellfire club, FOR CLOSURE to who he is (to breathe a little from acting a certain way) and for closure to a person (Will) that is the essence of everything he has been trying to suppress (childhood, feelings, growing up, being different etc.)

[rachelberryy]

Santana Lopez, Gender Performativity, and the Gaze-Death Dichotomy

For @tuiyla

This is a follow-up from this essay on Santana and Bejewelled by Taylor Swift. It also probably looks the way it does because of this post that I read recently.

(I dug out my old university notes for this, because Judith Butler is a GOAT and I felt like going big brain mode)

i.

The top line of my notes on Butler’s gender performativity theory reads, “Gender may be naturalised and taken for granted, but it is still socially constructed and created through the repetition of everyday acts”. As far as I can tell, that isn’t a direct quote, so I’m going to presume it’s a paraphrased summary on my part. It’s the ideological descendant of an idea from Simone de Beauvoir, probably the most influential feminist philosopher of the twentieth century: “One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.” (Incidentally, the idea of gender as a social construct in western feminist literature goes at least as far back as Mary Wollstonecraft. As per usual, TERFs don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.)

Okay. Let’s talk Santana.

Santana is an Afro-Latina lesbian, and a woman. All of those things are relevant in one way or another. We learn that when she was young, Santana was quite the tomboy, until she was socially conditioned into abandoning that particular persona. Given what we know of her family, I think it’s a reasonable assumption that her abuela had something to do with that. That delivers us to the version of Santana we get for the first season and a half of Glee. She’s a bitch, she’s aggressively sexual, she’s notoriously promiscuous, she’s a cheerleader - the feminine high school archetype. In other words, she’s both a stereotype of the idealised high school popular girl, and a whole bunch of things for which women are typically demonised.

Patriarchy, like all reactionary ideologies, is deeply idiosyncratic, almost by design, and creates these catch 22 situations where women cannot conform or rebel enough, it will hate you anyway, because that is its point. That is complicated by the fact that Santana is a fictional character (and one created by a team of male writers, at that), and therefore is also a construct of the male gaze without any agency of her own. This is doubly true for Santana, who starts out as a side character whose first proper story is as Puck’s ‘woman on the side’, and whose second proper story is sleeping with Finn.

The whole thing is a mess of contradictions, an ill-fitting mess of female stereotypes. Slut, bitch, queen bee (once Quinn is deposed). She’s the opposite end of the ‘fucked up ways in which patriarchy constructs female sexuality’ spectrum to Quinn. She’s also, as we later find out, completely fucking miserable. She’s acting, all the time, allowing the only emotions that slip through the cracks of her walls to express themselves as anger. It’s all, you guessed it, a performance. A version of her that didn’t exist until society forced it to. Those aspects of her - so many of them distinctly gendered - are entirely constructed, against her actual nature.

ii.

And then she quits the Cheerios, realises that she’s a lesbian, and begins to deconstruct herself. Glee is an exceptionally manic show, with so little time afforded to monologues by anyone not named Will Schuester. And yet, at the end of Sexy, Santana is given quite a lengthy one, explaining and exploring her character up to that point. (I can think of one other single moment where the pacing of Glee gives Santana specifically a second to breathe: the pause in the middle of RHI/SLY.) The promiscuity, the bitchiness, the anger at the world. The knives turned out so that they don’t cut inside. So much repressed self-loathing.

Part of the reason that sapphicism broadly and lesbianism in particular are such an affront to patriarchy is because they don’t abide by the rules of the game. In other words, it challenges the way in which patriarchy has determined that womanhood and femininity should be performed. That doesn’t mean, however, that it isn’t a performance, if only because, within Butler’s framework, performing and lying are not the same thing.

As I explained in the previous essay, Prom Queen, conceptually and functionally, is about gender roles in a lot of ways. Kurt bucks gender norms with his outfit choice, by embracing the prom queen title, and by dancing with Blaine at the end of the episode. Quinn, in her desperation to be popular, and validated, and feminine, chases the prom queen crown ruthlessly, because it’s the ultimate prize for a popular girl. Again, like the cheerleading, it’s one of the classic high school archetypes. The whole idea of prom king and queen is so aggressively gendered, obviously. It’s binary, and heteronormative, and rooted in about seventeen different forms of social hierarchy. It’s gender performance taken to the extreme.

The conclusion of Santana’s storyline in that episode is her reconciliation with Brittany, and Brittany telling her that part of why she lost was because people could tell she was hiding something. Exactly who and how many people knew about Santana’s sexuality and when they knew it is something the show can never quite seem to be able to make its mind up on (side eyes at Finn Hudson), but the conclusion in this moment seems to be that the performance has, to some degree, gone awry. Because what use is a performance if nobody believes it? In that moment, it’s Santana’s worst fears about being punished for her transgression come to life - she is performing femininity incorrectly, and therefore she is denied the title that represents patriarchy’s feminine ideal.

iii.

Santana comes out is outed early in season 3, and we finally meet the person who has probably shaped her character - and her performance - more than anybody else we hadn’t met to that point (so, basically, more than anyone but Brittany). Alma Lopez. Abuela.

With some of the crumbs we’re offered up to that point, I don’t think it’s too unreasonable to see Alma’s treatment of Santana to be emotionally abusive - and this is only doubled down upon by her reaction to Santana coming out to her. It’s pretty explicitly stated that Alma is one of the main reasons that Santana is as vicious as she is. In other words, she shaped the performance. She’s clearly a pretty big female role model in Santana’s life, which is why the rejection hurts as much as it does.

The Glee subreddit is home to a wide variety of deeply stupid opinions. That might seem slightly mean, but one can only read so many defences of Finn Hudson objectively bad actions before one becomes slightly cynical. One opinion I’ve seen bandied about on there that I usually don’t have much time for is that Alma herself is a deeply repressed lesbian, largely stemming from the fact that Alma’s main issue with Santana’s sexuality seems to be that she’s willing to live it openly. Its slight difference from the usual ‘hate the sin, love the sinner’ line. I do think it’d be interesting to touch on it here, though. Santana, in many ways, learnt her performance from Alma, which is why her open embrace of her sexuality here - after so much angst and drama - is such an act of defiance, and that’s only doubled with this particular reading of Alma’s reaction.

iv.

While we’re on the subject of Santana’s family background, I’d like to talk briefly on the stereotyping of women of colour in particular, and the way that intersection plays into the idea of gender performativity. Santana’s race and ethnicity are a little ambiguous in certain ways. She refers to Mexican heritage, and Alma has a Dominican flag in her home, if I remember correctly. However, since it’s never explicitly stated otherwise, I’m going to run with the idea that Santana is Afro-Latina, like Naya herself was.

Santana, particularly in her initial presentation (read: performance), very much fits into some of the stereotypes often assigned to Latina women. She’s sexually aggressive and promiscuous. She has a ‘fiery’ personality type. (I’m not overly fond of that word, especially in this context, but I think that’s really kind of the point.) As she says herself, ‘My job here is to look hot.’ Of course, that line can be read shallowly, because I really don’t think Ryan Murphy or any of the lead Glee writers thought that deeply about these things, but most of this essay relies on Death of the Author theory and my reading far more into this story than its creators conceived. It also speaks to Santana’s lack of agency, both in and meta to the narrative itself. She also is hot but w/e

A worthy point of comparison here, I think, is Mercedes, who of all the main characters is probably denied agency the most; who is so infrequently allowed to be much more than a foil to Rachel, both by the writers and, perhaps more depressingly, by much of the fandom, particularly back in Glee’s original heyday. She is also frequently desexualised, again by both the writers and sections of the fandom. There is probably an essay to be written on the variety of reasons that Quinn (thin and white) is read as a lesbian and Mercedes (fat and black) is often read as asexual or earnest in her religious reasons for her celibacy when Quinn’s canon reasons are basically the same. I don’t think all of those reasons stem from those differences, and I definitely don’t want to criticise people for sexuality headcanons that offer them representation - because an asexual, fat, black woman would be kind of revolutionary, if indeed that was what Mercedes was. I also really don’t think I - a white person with half a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and a Sociology A Level taught by a person for whom I once had to define intersectionality - am the person best suited to write that essay.

Which brings us back to Santana, and the ways in which her ethnicity impact her performance of gender, especially in the first two seasons when that performance is inauthentic. Death of the Author is, again, critical here - and I’m going to talk more about that at the end - but so is Gaze theory and Santana’s multi-layered lack of agency. As with all of the people of colour on Glee, Santana’s race and ethnicity are often ignored until it’s comedically convenient. I’m not saying the jokes don’t always work - Sam’s ‘Quinn once had sex with a Latina lesbian - learned that in glee club!’ comes to mind (I think part of why that works is that it’s one of the only times that it’s explicitly shown that homophobes are often deeply racist as well) - but I think that is notable that that’s often the only time it’s ever seen as worth mentioning. Santana, though played by a woman of colour in Naya, is ultimately a construct of the white men who created her, and it is through their Gaze that she exists. She has no agency in the real world, because she’s a fictional construct, and a distinct lack of agency within the narrative as a queer woman of colour.

So how does all of this relate to gender performativity theory? Said theory might be pithily summarised thus: “Gender is something we do, not something we are.” (I promise I do have a degree, I’m not just copying buzzy phrases from the inside cover of a sociology textbook lmao.) This, then, might fairly easily be mapped onto other socially constructed categories of being. So, how does one do their gender, or race, or ethnicity, or sexuality, when one has no agency of one’s own, when one is entirely a construct of the Gaze of others? When the puppet strings of the performance are juggled and manipulated entirely by someone outside the self? Ironically enough, things become even more of a performance, in multiple ways a construct. Santana the character is constructed, in the same way Santana the person, the queer woman of colour, is. Which is, of course, why critical literary analysis is such an apropos way to explore these ideas, because everything is a constructed performance anyway. And, in this way, we see how Santana’s character is flattened, whether it’s in the vaguely afterthought-like quality to any consideration of her ethnicity, or the wholesale ignoring of her blackness, or the fact that Santana the character, as opposed to Santana the person, is herself a construct.

And then the author dies. More on that in a bit.

v.

Santana has parallels with a lot of characters. Quinn is the obvious one, which is very well-trodden ground analytically speaking - narrative foils, both craving popularity because they can’t just up and admit that they want to be loved, both very gay and very repressed, both in love with Rachel - and season 2 makes Santana’s parallels with Dave quite clear. There are also certain parallels present with Kurt, though - and it’s not just because they’re the two principal queer characters - the two token McKinley gays, as someone put it once.

The relevant mirror here is on expression. Kurt starts out as very experimental, as far as his dress-sense is concerned. It’s also fairly androgynous. “Fashion has no gender,” he tells us. Over the course of the series, however, his fashion becomes more conventionally masculine - not overly so, but certainly more so than at the beginning. In Santana, this shift is even more pronounced. The main windows we get into her fashion is late season 2 and then season 4 and 5 in New York, and while it’s not exactly like her season 2 choices were all that transgressive, they were certainly more experimental than her tight dresses from later on. Now, this isn’t me hating on this style - because girl looks good - nor is it me saying that lesbians can’t adopt a more conventionally feminine sense of style. I would hope that goes without saying. Regardless, I think there’s something worth discussing here where agency is concerned.

Because, of course, Santana isn’t a real person - a real woman and a real lesbian; she’s a construct of a team of male writers. I think the easy explanation here is that the producers got lazy, on a whole range of fronts where costuming was concerned. And that is, at least to an extent, a reasonable line of thinking. To gesture to a fairly straightforward example, after a point they just started having Rachel... mostly just dress like Lea. However, I think there’s a more interesting lens of analysis to be had here where Santana is concerned when we recall that scene where her mother informs us that she was a tomboy growing up. The three points we have, really, are that snapshot of Santana as a small child, season 2, and season 4-5. In season 4 in particular, Santana is portrayed as feeling generally directionless and unsure of herself; of where her path is headed now that she exists outside the rigid hierarchies of McKinley High. And, so, her performance of femininity is exaggerated. It’s a continuation of what the cheerleader role represented for her earlier on: burying herself in the typical female role to hide from internal conflict.

I think there’s also more to be said, at this stage, on the way we can see this in Quinn as well. In season 1, she’s the church girl: babydoll dresses, sundresses, and, of course, her Cheerio uniform - something that she uses as a wall of self defence in a similar way to Santana. In season 2, her wardrobe is largely a more mature version of that - she’s been through the ringer, and being homeless and having a child have forced her to grow up, but, as we see in her determination to be Head Cheerleader again, she’s still desperately clinging to the version of herself from Before. The biggest departure is obviously Skank!Quinn, where she briefly leans fully into a more androgynous punk look before adopting, again, a fractionally more androgynous version of her season 2 appearance, namely the addition of her blazers - which might be read as something as a symbol of male soft social power. Her story in season 3 obviously continues to bring the angst, but it’s also a period of self-actualisation. The most traditionally feminine we see her presenting after that is in her brief appearances in season 5, where it is pretty explicitly established that she’s behaving inauthentically. It’s all fairly on the nose, especially on that latter point. Obviously we can’t map that onto Santana directly, but I think it’s an interesting lens of analysis, given that, as I established at the beginning of this section, the two characters parallel each other pretty strongly in a whole smorgasbord of ways.

vi.

I’ve been dancing around the whole ‘death of the author’ bit for a while now, so let’s get into it. The post that I linked at the top of this essay describes DOTA as 'once a work is complete, what the author believes it to mean is irrelevant to critical analysis of what's in the text’, and I think that’s a reasonable definition to work with here. In other words, the fact that this essay takes Santana as a person with agency of her own, outside of her creators’ intentions, is not necessarily incompatible with my argument that we might use the fact that she’s a fictional character to explore the idea of social constructs, because the former exists outside of the latter. Santana is a construct of fiction, and the author is dead. The two lenses of analysis go hand in hand, inverted as they may seem.

I don’t think it’s too controversial a statement to say that Glee isn’t a particularly tightly written piece of fiction. (Maybe it is controversial on the subreddit. Shit’s wild over there.) Santana is no exception to that. Her character is messy and inconsistent, and the writing varies in its willingness to explore her depth. It would be trite to say that within that uncharted depth lies the DNA of a brilliant character. I also don’t think that that’s entirely accurate, because Santana Lopez is brilliant. The brilliance, which I think I’ve explored quite widely in this essay, is in the margins, in the unsaid, the unexplored. It’s in the performance. Reading between the lines, we see the carefully constructed image that Santana herself created. That is the foundation upon which the character is built. And from that, we can analyse her in myriad ways - along with the myriad ways in which she is, herself, a constructed performance, both within and outside of the narrative, constantly deconstructing and reconstructing itself.

The author is dead. Long live Lopez.