#SO i hope this works for you just to kickstart things! i am not very good at Out Of The Blue stuff Waugh //

[sageospirit]

She circles around the mechanism, closely observing from every angle. Trained eyes dart all over while a hand rests under her chin, expression tense and deep in thought. While Mineru considered herself to be well versed in various forms of technology and magic, this, however, was utterly new and facinating. Never had she witnessed such a thing, and the Zonai were no stranger to complex, odd and specific creations, but a statis chamber, to specifically hold someone alive...?

The jade coloring was familiar, the dull green glow a comforting light―but it had only raised more questions than answers for her liking. Who had even created such a contraption? Was it even made by her people? It must have been, but if so, it must have been a well-kept secret, one lost to time, until now.

“I―How interesting...” She utters, mostly to herself, too focused to notice to any guests that may have walked in on her examination. “Was Rauru aware of such a thing...?”

@herospledge / ♥

[winterrrnight]

12 with rafe I'm begging 😔😔

you ask and I shall deliver 🫡 I hope you like this nada <3 do let me know your views on this! 🩷

especially you

PAIRING: soft!rafe cameron x gn!reader

SUMMARY: there are some things Rafe will do especially just for you.

WARNINGS: established relationship, very much hates everyone but you, the reader is a perfectionist - in constant need of academic validation (it is me guys 😓), fluff, usage of nicknames like babe, baby, sweetheart, minimal swearing

EDITH SPEAKS: this is kind of self indulgent 😀 need me a man who does this for me 😭😭 anyways, yes yes we are kickstarting the fics for the 600 celly! If you were there for my 300 celly, I know how late I got with those requests and I am so sorry about that 🥲 I promise I will try my best to not let that happen this time 🥲

please reblog if you liked reading this! feedback is always appreciated ⛲

a lil note: the song below is used just as the title, and its lyrics aren't used as an inspiration.

PROMPT REQUESTED: “C’mere. Sit down. Tell me what’s going on.”

600 followers celebration || navigation

You sigh as you shut your laptop close, maybe a little too aggressively for your liking, but honestly, you couldn’t care less. You slump your head on the kitchen island in your arms, a headache already starting to creep in your head.

It’s barely week three in your new semester and you’re already piled upon with readings over readings, essays over essays, assignments over assignments, and you barely have any time with yourself or your boyfriend.

“What the actual fuck Kelce!” He groans. “Get your shit together man!” This is just the bare minimum of what he is actually saying. It doesn’t help your situation though, your headache only pulsating more harshly, making you groan in pain.

Speaking of your boyfriend, he’s sitting in the living room, headphones in as he almost yells into the microphone, as his thumbs run rapidly over the controls of the controller gripped tightly in his hands. Curse words followed by his friends’ names leave his lips, as his gaze is fixated on the screen in front of him.

You sigh as you look at him. He does not go to university because just as he graduated high school, his father passed his business onto him.

“No no no no no no!” He yells, “god what the fuck is wrong with you guys?”

His deep voice booms in your ear, and you squeeze your eyes shut, holding your head in your hands as you gently press your temples, but it does not work; Rafe’s voice level only increases with time, and it bothers you more and more.

“Rafe!” You yell out completely exasperated, from your place in the kitchen island. He doesn’t even look at you, and you realize you weren’t loud enough for your voice to penetrate through his headphones.

You get up from your chair and saunter over to Rafe, gripping his headphones and yanking them off. “Shut up!” You snap, as you toss his headphones to the side and leave the living room, stomping off to your bedroom.

Rafe watches you go away, completely stunned. He takes a deep breath before picking up his headphones. “We’re pausing it for now, and no, I will not hear any shit from either of you,” He fumes in the microphone and shuts off the game before making his way to the bedroom. As he enters inside quietly, he sees you are standing in the balcony, leaning against the railing as you look out, a stressed look on your face.

“Babe,” he says softly as he steps out to the balcony, wrapping an arm around your waist. “What's wrong?”

“Nothin’,” you mutter under your breath, not tearing your eyes away from the sky stretched out in front of you to look at him.

When he detects your reluctance to talk, or to even lean into his touch, he lets out a sigh, his arm dropping back to his side as he sits down on one of the chairs in the balcony.

A few moments pass in utter silence, as all you both here is the sound of the birds chirping in the distance, cars rushing past the streets, and the soft breeze blowing against your skin.

Your back is towards him as he watches you stand next to the railing; he can tell you are completely tense from your stance, the way your shoulders aren’t relaxed, your jaw is clenched a bit, and you are gripping the railing a little too lightly.

“Baby…” he calls out softly, “C’mere. Sit down. Tell me what’s going on.” He says. He’s determined to not let you go unspoken this time, ready to even pull you into his arms if needed.

To his surprise, you don’t deny as you trod to the empty chair next to him and sit down. His arm instantly wraps around your shoulders and he pulls you in his side. He presses a long, yet soft kiss on your forehead, rubbing your arm in a soothing motion.

“I’m sorry if I was too loud baby,” he mumbles against your hairline, “I absolutely didn’t mean to bother you so much,”

You let out a deep exhale as you shake your head. “It’s okay Rafe, I was just… too tense already and that just put me over the edge, I guess,” you murmur softly.

“What’s been keeping you tense then hm?” He asks, pressing another kiss to your forehead, his feeble attempt to comfort you as much as he can.

“This semester’s already kicking my ass,” You sigh. “I already have a shit ton of work to do, and it’s just the third week? I spend all my day doing this shit and I still can’t catch up with it. I barely have time for myself or to spend with you,”

Rafe’s grip tightens a bit on you as he pulls you in closer to himself. “You know I would typically say that it doesn’t matter, don’t stress too much, don’t work so hard blah blah blah, but I know you well enough to know it doesn’t work on you,” he says and he sees a small smile form on your face. “No matter what I’ll say, you will work hard and put in 120% effort for something which doesn’t even count that much for your grade. And you know how much I appreciate that about you, you’re insanely hard working,” a small smile on his lips as his other hand holds onto yours.

“But you know what I can do?” He continues. “I can take great care of you. You don’t have to worry about your meals; I’ll take care of them. I’ll watch a movie, give you kisses and cuddles, or do anything you want when you take a break; which, by the way, I’ll make sure you take. Whenever I see the moment, I’ll take you out wherever you want to go. I don’t want you to take unnecessary stress of the new semester sweetheart, because I know you’ll make it through it okay? You 100% will, I know that.”

You turn to look at him, a softened look in your eye. All his words slowly sink in you, and you realize you don’t have to take as much pressure of the new semester as you were. You rest your head on his shoulder and softly nod. “Thank you Rafe…” you whisper.

“There’s nothing to thank me for you sweetheart, I am your boyfriend, this is the least I can do,” he smiles as he presses another kiss to your forehead.

You slowly feel your tensions melt away as you sit with Rafe on your balcony under the warm afternoon sun, your body muscles relaxing and the stress laying heavy on your mind gradually withering away.

This is one of the moments where you realize Rafe’s the one.

↶ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊˎ-

TAGLIST: @runningfrom2am @saccharinesammie @maybankslover @totalswag @madelynie @chenslucy @ietss @elle-mp3 @viawritesstuff @wallsdreams @lunalitva @sadfury @newsies-pape-girl @jamesbuckybarneswify @xxxlaura @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @callsignwidow @starkowswife @drewstarkeyswifehoe @jjchaer @f4ll-for-you @wearemadeofstardust0 @drewsmusee @rafegirly @addriaenne @leighbronk @rafesdrew @bejeweledreverie @raf3sgff @aerangi @drewstarkey1bae @moneymaybank @spideysimpossiblegirl @the-tortured-poets-depxrtment

[deoidesign]

if i may ask, is it difficult at all to re-edit/organize the comic pages from the webtoon format to fit the graphic novel format?

on another note, I'm so happy that your kickstarter was funded!!! I love time and time again, im so excited to see this all happen <3

I'll just turn this ask into something of a guide for the process! Because yes, it is difficult, but there are also many ways I have been preparing from the beginning for this very situation to make things easier for me!

I've worked in both print and scroll in the past, and have done this transition once before for a short story, so I already had familiarity both with my goals for print, and struggles with the transition!

How I prepared from the beginning for this transition:

1: My panels are 2500 pixels wide, so they can span my page (which is 8.3x5.8 inches) at 350 DPI (which is print quality)

2: My layers are organized: Text, FX, Foreground, Characters, Background

3: I draw one very large (twice as big as any panel would be, minimum) background for my major locations, as well as drawing furniture assets in isolation. This not only saves me time when making my actual episodes, but it also offers me INCREDIBLE flexibility when making this transition to print.

These 3 things let me pull the character art to the page by itself, scale it up or down to fit my panel, and then fill in the background behind the character.

So, I read the scroll version, decide how many and which panels I want on the page for the pacing (I also keep page spreads and page turns in mind while I am doing this), and then I pull those panels over from the scroll version to the page.

Then, I make the panel borders/page layout that I want, fit the character art into it, paste in the backgrounds, do any art editing that I need, add FX, and then re-do the text!

Sometimes I do need to draw parts that are missing (shoulders or elbows getting cut off is an extremely common one) and sometimes I need to adjust facial expressions, cut panels, or rearrange panels to make things read more clearly. Since it's my comic already, I know how to do these things while maintaining the original intent, but if I were working with someone else's comic I would need to work closely with them to know what can and can't be cut.

(original panel vs an expanded version)

Another common issue is that VERY tall panels will inevitably lose a lot of information when they’re turned to pages. Identify the purpose of the panel (pacing, showing a lot of detail, etc) and then replicate that with your page layout.

examples (in order) are: scene transition, being overwhelmed, suspense, and establishing shot. All of these were a single panel in the scroll version!

Another issue when converting pages is that panel order is a lot less straightforward than when starting from print format. Conversational back and forth that's fine in scroll often messes up the flow of reading in a page (characters facing out, not looking at eachother from panel to panel, etc) and so some creative solutions are necessary to keeping the reading order.

For the first page I had to delete and rearrange some panels, and in the second the dialogue bubbles guide us to read this page in a circle. (dialogue guides through a lot of my pages lol)

And the last really common issue that pops up is that height differences can be really difficult. Usually in print this is solved with clever angles, but I’ve already drawn everything. So, I’ll either resort to vertical shaped panels, panel pop-outs, or editing a character up or down to fit into the panel.

(examples in order)

So, yes, it is difficult! But I have a lot of experience with both formats, and having prepared for this from the beginning I've been able to make the transition a LOT more smoothly than I otherwise could have.

I hope this helps!

And, thank you about the kickstarter! I'm extremely excited I'll be able to print these, the proofs I've received so far look just absolutely stunning and I'm so so so excited to get to send them to people!!!

Obligatory self promo, if you want to see the kickstarter page and get these four books for yourself, then you can check it out here ^^ It's been funded, so at this point we're just reaching stretch goals and placing orders!

[humbledragon669]

S2E1 - The Arrival Write Up P1 - Before the Beginning

Wow, it’s been a little while since I did one of these. So much of a while in fact, that I feel like I’ve forgotten how I like to do them. I went back and read over the previous ones I’ve done to try and get back into the swing of things, but I feel like I’m having a bit of an imposter syndrome going on (after all, who am I to tell people what they can so clearly see for themselves?), so please bear with me if this all feels a bit stilted to begin with. So, with that self-serving plea out of the way, let’s point out the obvious and immediate parallel between the opening of season two and its prequel:

There isn’t a banner for the first season to compare this with, but we all know that the storyline for the very first episode started “in the beginning”. The episode title was even named for the time period, although I think there was probably a bit more sub-text to that than just an indicator of a time frame. There’s another parallel to be had here too – this would appear to be the first time that Crowley (or whatever his angelic name was – I shall simply continue to call him Crowley for this section) and Aziraphale actually meet, mirroring the conversation on the wall of the Garden of Eden nicely, it being the first time they meet with Crawly in his demon form. Quick side note: the time period parallel makes me wonder if there will be something similar going on for season 3 – “after the beginning” perhaps? Or in a twist, maybe something about Crowley’s fall? Either would fit nicely with the running theme.

This will be the only time (notwithstanding whatever is to come in season 3) that we see Crowley in his existence prior to his fall, and therefore prior to his becoming a demon. The engine crank handle is a nice touch; it’s a lovely link to Crowley’s (much) later attachment to the Bentley, and to the use of the crank handle to restart time as we saw in the final episode of season 1. And it’s a nice thought – that the star factory is rather like an engine that needs a kickstart, even if that engine crank handle has no place in this time period, millions of years before cars ever became a thing. Quick side note on the engine crank handle thing: given that Aziraphale holds the diagram up in front of his chest, could it be that this is a subtle hint that Crowley doesn’t just kick the motor of the star factory into life, but Aziraphale’s heart too? It’s immediately after he does it that Aziraphale tries to introduce himself…

Can we just take a moment to appreciate this moment for what it is? A single moment, in millions of years, that Crowley needed a hand, happened to have another being passing by, recognised that there was someone around who could help, and had to yell to be heard because that being is nearly out of earshot. That single moment is the start of a slow burn that rivals all other slow burns. And they nearly missed it. It does make this beautifully innocent response from Aziraphale unbelievably sweet though:

Oh Aziraphale, you look so hopeful and inquisitive. You have NO IDEA of what’s to come, do you? And there’s such a lovely awkwardness between them in the conversation that follows – the cautious engagement from Aziraphale as he tries to work out what’s expected of him against Crowley’s almost blasé confidence that he knows exactly what he’s about. There’s something so childlike about them both – Aziraphale in his innocence and Crowley in his excitement – you really do feel that this is the start of something, that the potential is there for something bigger, just as it is with Crowley’s star factory.

Well, Aziraphale doesn’t waste any time trying to engage flirt mode, does he? This micro exchange makes me laugh so much, and it never gets any less funny. It’s such an obvious businesslike reply from Crowley to Aziraphale’s quite open and vulnerable introduction. And Crowley doesn’t even offer his own introduction back, though perhaps this is to do with maintaining the strange levels of secrecy surrounding Crowley’s angelic name. Look at how disappointed Aziraphale is when his curiosity and interest isn’t reciprocated though, it’s truly adorable.

His disappointment doesn’t stop him from given his new-found friend another once over though. Honestly, this is one very smitten angel from a very early point in their timeline together.

I had hoped that there might be the first suggestion of an Easter egg with the book that Crowley consults, but I’ve struggled to find one. I’ve deciphered the title of the book to be “Nebula 231, 080”, but I couldn’t find anything glaring in Strong’s concordance with the combination of numbers there, and the contents of the book itself flick through too quickly to make out anything other than indecipherable scribblings and some diagrams.

Despite the fact that Aziraphale’s first tentative advances were shut down so unceremoniously, his face gives away how he continues to feel about his new friend:

He looks almost proud, doesn’t he? As if he’s really proud of Crowley’s achievements, even though a) they’ve only just met and b) Crowley hasn’t actually got anything to show for his efforts just yet. Not until he says the magic words anyway:

I know I’m not the first one to pick up on this, but isn’t this line a little above Crowley’s pay grade? As I have mentioned before, my Christian knowledge is scant, but I’m fairly sure that’s God’s line. And what makes this particular line interesting is Aziraphale’s response to the creation of the nebula:

AZIRAPHALE: Ah. Good lord.

It’s not the first time we’ve heard Crowley referred to in this way either:

I know, any excuse to replicate that look from Aziraphale in 1792. Sue me. It’s pretty notable though, isn’t it, the repeated use of that particular exclamation in response to Crowley’s presence? I really want to think there’s something in this, after all we know that the words used in this show are never coincidental. I just can’t put the pieces together to come out with something believable because those three little snippets of information, when put together, would make it seem like Crowley is really God in disguise, which is nothing short of impossible. And before I forget and move on from the very obvious miracle Crowley performs (bringing his hand down instead of up as he does in his demon form), let’s just appreciate the return of the miracle noise we heard in the first season – this particular instance sounds like sleigh bells following that odd “full” noise I can only really describe as something we would usually associate with something really epic happening.

Aside from Crowley’s obvious physical and costume differences from his demon form, and the fact that his QE accent is more pronounced, we get to see Crowley genuinely excited in this scene.

Again with the adorable. And the childlike. Did I mention it’s adorable? And he’s so incredibly proud of what he’s achieved. Which will make it all the more heartbreaking when we see his upset that it’s all going to be destroyed in about 6000 years. But I’m getting ahead of myself (a tiny bit). Because we cannot move on without talking about the second bout of disappointment that Aziraphale has rendered to him in less than 2 minutes.

And what’s prompted this? Ah, that’s right, he thought Crowley was calling him “gorgeous”, only to realise that his new friend was actually referring to the nebula in front of them. You’d think the brush off from earlier would be enough to have reigned in his hopes a bit where this particular being is concerned, but it looks like he just can’t help himself (not that anyone would blame him). And here we see another interesting difference between angel-Crowley and demon-Crowley – he is uncomfortable about accepting credit for things that he hasn’t been fully responsible for. This is not the Reign of Terror or the Spanish Inquisition that he took full credit for despite not having anything to do with either – he barely takes the credit for work he has actually done, which Aziraphale is determined to give.

I feel like it’s a pretty obvious statement to make when I say that Aziraphale is actually making two, entirely separate, statements here. Because the first of them (“It’s very pretty”) isn’t actually directed at Crowley’s creation, is it? The second is, but it’s much more about Crowley’s involvement rather than the end product. For all we know, this is likely to be one of the only times in his existence that Crowley is actually given some heartfelt and deserved feedback for a job well done. No wonder he’s always on the hunt for more by claiming credit for stuff he hasn’t done. No, the first of those statements is about Crowley himself (gotta give him credit for his persistence), and that’s as plain as day to us the audience because actually Aziraphale doesn’t seem that bothered about the incredible light show unfolding right in front of his eyes. That gorgeous being floating alongside him on the other hand, he just can’t get enough of looking at him. It’s obvious he really enjoys Crowley’s enthusiastic energy, because he really doesn’t want to detract from it.

This. Delivery. My life, it gets me every single time. I feel like it’s a line I’ve delivered myself (along with those facial and hand gestures that help me feign interest) to my husband every time he tries to talk to me about a car engine. When I say it, the rough translation is “I really don’t care about what you’re saying because it’s totally pointless, but you enjoy it and I love you so I’ll humour you”. That about cover all the angles here? Poor Crowley is so excited about his project, he doesn’t even notice. His upset at being told that everything is going to be closed down in 6000 years though, that can’t be ignored.

This particular moment in the scene is an absolutely brilliant example of the way that the soundscape is used to underscore the acting in this show too – we had some very pretty celestial harmonies setting the tone for Crowley’s speech about baking stars, only to hear the music literally winding down as his excitement is so rudely deflated.

Once Crowley has acknowledged this pretty devastating piece of news, he’s quick to try and reason with Aziraphale as to why that particular plan shouldn’t go ahead. I have to say, he sounds quite reasonable to me, and he makes his point in very clearly. The important thing about his reasoning is that he’s starting to ask questions, to challenge God’s plan, which we all know is what got him into trouble in the first place. And I do so love the fact that Crowley has never heard of Earth before this conversation with Aziraphale, seeing as it’s a planet he will come to spend so much time on. Not that he’s that keen to admit his lack of knowledge to Aziraphale.

It’s the little nod before he, hesitatingly, admits he’s not heard of the blue/green planet that gives him away. But then Aziraphale seems so confident that it’s something that he should have heard of, I can understand why he’s uncomfortable admitting he hasn’t. It sounds as if Aziraphale has had a hand creating both Earth and “people”, which he’s almost as excited about as Crowley was of his nebula, so it’s probably a good job that the latter employs some tact here. The difference, when it comes to Crowley offering his feedback for the work that Aziraphale is involved in, is that the planet and the people appear to completely devalue all his hard work. His disbelief is obvious before Aziraphale has even finished giving his speech:

In typical Aziracrow fashion, we have one of them not listening to the other, and this time it’s Aziraphale that fails to pick up on the communication cues – look how delighted he is at the fact he just told Crowley that the beautiful nebula he’s created is nothing more than a pretty picture:

I suppose it’s nice to see, in a round about way, that their inability to truly hear one another isn’t something resulting from thousands of years in each other’s company, this being their first meeting. Unfortunately his delight only stokes Crowley’s indignation, causing him not only to ask more questions of the plan for creation but to openly refute God’s plans as being anything other than “idiocy”. Now, I agree with him (to my mind, it is genuinely ludicrous that an entire universe would be created for any other purpose than for beings to look at), but Aziraphale is very quick to set out his stall for the future from the very beginning – he is a company man after all.

AZIRAPHALE: I don’t think it’s our place to start suggesting that there should be a suggestion box.

It’s not long before Aziraphale starts to become really very uncomfortable with this conversation.

He is VERY worried about being overheard here, isn’t he? As well he should be I suppose. But what’s this little mini breakdown?

It looks an awful lot like a bit of a crisis of faith to me. In fairness, Crowley has made some pretty good points. What I’d give to know what’s going through Aziraphale’s mind at this point, and what I find very telling about the way he tries to resolve this situation is that the very last thing he does before trying to break the silence is to glance over at Crowley. It’s not difficult to see how depressed he is about this latest development, and Aziraphale, in a really sweet gesture, tries to pull him out of by giving him another (rather futile) compliment about the nebula. What’s interesting about this (to me anyway) is that this makes him the rescuer in this situation, with him trying to save Crowley, which is not the way it’s supposed to be, is it? What’s even more interesting is that he fails – fails to cheer Crowley up and fails to stop Crowley from getting into trouble. Maybe that’s the real reason why Crowley takes point on that moving into the current day…

You can see how pained Aziraphale is about Crowley’s general attitude, despite the fact they’ve only just met. He REALLY doesn’t want his new friend getting into trouble with the powers-that-be. But now it’s Crowley’s turn to miss his cue, and if Aziraphale’s anxiety wasn’t enough to tell you that he’s being far too blasé about his mood, the portentous bell that rings out in the soundtrack when he ask’s how much trouble he can get into for asking questions should tell you how right Aziraphale is to be concerned.

Alright we’ve got our final parallel for the scene – you all know what it is. It’s the wing shelter!

But before I go off into that, I just wanted to take a minute to appreciate Aziraphale’s look as the meteor shower (I have assumed that’s what it is) actually starts:

It’s really lovely – like he’s showing appreciation for one more beautiful thing created by his new friend. Right, moving on, I just want to take a quick look at what I said about the mirrored wing shelter in the first season:

Alright, now I have all the various bits of information brought together, let’s consider a few bits – not much, I know this has all been gone over with a fine-tooth comb before by other people. Firstly I want to point out that there is a difference between the two shelter scenes, which is that Crawly actually moves towards Aziraphale as it starts to rain on the wall. We do not see the same movement from Aziraphale with them both in Heaven. I find those couple of steps from Crawly potentially really interesting – it’s like he’s doing something that they have already been doing for a long time, with the unspoken knowledge that he’ll get what he needs without having to ask. What I also find interesting about both wing shelters is that, in the sheltering they leave themselves exposed to the thing they’re sheltering the other from. That doesn’t seem like too big of a deal when it comes to a bit of rain, but when it’s flaming rocks? I know they’re both full-blown angels at this point, presumably without human bodies, but that’s still gotta hurt surely? Which would mean that Crowley leaves himself exposed to damage in order to protect Aziraphale, despite the fact that the latter being didn’t ask for the shelter, and doesn’t even appear to notice it’s been given. So there’s another similarity between the two shelters – they weren’t actually asked for, but given, and without dissent. I don’t know if there’s a storyline reason for Crowley offering the wing shelter in season 2 – there has been some talk I’ve seen about it providing a link to the end of season 1 (because we see Aziraphale protecting Crawly/Crowley from water at the beginning and end of the season, and Crowley protecting Aziraphale from fire) and I do like that. Part of me wonders if there are much more basic reasons for the respective shelters – the script states that Crawly’s wings look rather worse for wear in the Garden of Eden, so they weren’t going to act as a very effective shelter. Similarly, Aziraphale doesn’t seem to appreciate that there’s any danger when the meteor shower takes place, probably because of his lack of knowledge about the whole environment, so Crowley could have done his own shelter out of pity. Ultimately I think there’s one thing we can definitely all agree on – the second wing shelter makes the first a lot more interesting.

Well, for someone who said they felt a bit rusty writing write ups, I really wittered on for that single scene, didn’t I? In fairness, I knew I would have a lot to say about it, it being the first scene for the season. Not sure I expected to go for 3K+ words though… That said, the end of this scene and the arrival of present day seems like a good place to wrap this part up (plus it will give me a nice little placard image to head the next part up with, you know how I love those!), so for now… Questions, comments, discussion: always welcome! Hope to see in the next one 😊

[gb-patch]

Hi! I saw your ask about skin tones and honestly, that is very much a barebones excuse to not include skintones in your game. You act as though adding skintones to a sprite would be a complete hand-drawn new asset when it would quite literally be filling in a pre drawn base for both Opal and the mc. Not only that but you potentially have thousands of mc outfits you promised for specific tier havers on the kickstarter. And then for 250,000 dollars, you're telling me we'll get more colors but not even 2 or 4 skintones when there are games with Less funding who have more skintones? Especially considering OL:B&A had the exact same amount of skintones and I could count all the afro centric hairstyles in that game on my two hands. I rather have more skintones than just pale, peach, olive, tan, brown and dark brown (most of which screams a 2000s foundation line of tones) than have more hair or clothing colors. I'm sorry, I love your games, I really do but that's an extremely lazy and abhorrent response from you and I am extremely disappointed.

"Hi. I just saw the post about you not adding in more skintones. I really hope this doesn't come across as rude or demanding but I find your reasoning for not being able to add them...lackluster at best. With all due respect, you set this goal for 250k, over three times the original goal you set for the kickstarter, the idea that somehow you can promise an additional set of darker colours for the clothes, accesories hair and eyes alongside the additional MC pieces people are going to request but not an additional skintone because of Opal seems a little ridiculous. I'm not an experienced artist but I do know how art files tend to work and I imagine adding additional colours to Opal's base design wouldn't be an extreme undertaking. In fact, by contrast, the work to add more colours to the clothes and hairs seems much more labourous considering the amount of them and the fact that some of the clothes have subcolours.

Again, I do hope I don't come accross as rude but I just feel like this announcement was highly dissapointing, especially considering the fact that the additional colours are currently the biggest goal for the kickstarter at the moment" There were two replies, so I put them together. I hope that's alright.

I understand. It would be bad and make no sense if that didn’t happen. I can say that this has nothing to do with funding. I'm not gonna attach more skin tones to a stretch goal, that’s not fair. It’ll be done whenever it can be regardless of what happens with the Kickstarter.

The other colors for hair and such is something I confirmed can be done by our programmer ahead of time using a color picker system in coding.

The situation as it stands today for Opal is that I personally don't have the skills to recolor her myself, the artist we have is in a situation where it would be unkind to increase how much work they have to do (it'd be easier if even less work could be on them), and while another artist could be hired- that hasn't happened at this point. So, saying it "could happen but maybe not" is cautious development process. It’s how it went with both the Cove Patreon Bonus Moments, where I pretended for months that it may or may not happen while working on it behind the scenes because I wasn’t sure how long I’d need to finish it and was worried it could be delayed for long stretches of time.

Being realistic, it is virtually a 100% certainly that before the game comes out, the skin tones will be expanded. There is no good reason why it wouldn’t. I was waiting until things got to a better point in production before coming out to officially say that it’s happening.

And I could’ve said it’s extremely likely but we’re not able to do it quite yet and avoided making anyone feel hurt. I wish my way of handling it hadn’t made the people who believed in our games sad. The reason why I didn’t is that I just can’t help but be averse to making promises I can’t do/the team can’t do and so have to rely on something else working out at some point in the future, even if it is entirely likely that it will.

That’s because I know that these things will make a lot of people happy. I want the excitement and any praise that might come to not happen until the goal has been achieved or is on the way to being achieved for sure. To a degree it’s helpful for players to have confidence in what the company is promoting, but it’s mainly to help with my own habit of catastrophizing. I tend to believe bad things could happen and I’ll let people down even when it’s so unlikely it’s not worth considering. I consider it anyway. And so, you get this kind of long-term hedging before the feature people hoped for suddenly appears. Even now my compulsion is to add a caveat that “there’s still a chance something (I don’t even know what) could happen and it won’t be added so don’t thank me yet” despite me already coming out with the truth that there’s every intention to have it added. I’m sorry to have disappointed you and made you feel disregarded by doing this. Hopefully when the skin options are expanded people will be able to enjoy the game a lot more than how it is with the current demo. And thanks for taking the time to let me know what you thought rather than giving up on the project entirely.

[siampie]

Risk and Reward||Chapter 1: When I Met You

Pairing: Matt Murdock x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.1k

Summary: You have a hard time settling into your new life but with new acquaintances and newfound friendships. You slowly find your footing.

Warnings/tags: 18+ contains smut (not sure, don’t know how to write it but I’ll try), angst, fluff, mutual pining, idiots in love, childhood trauma

A/N: So, this is a first for me. Please be indulgent. I am no stranger to writing fiction. I’ve done it before just not on this platform. Also, this is my first time writing in 2nd POV and for Matt Murdock. There isn’t much of him in this chapter but I hope the small bits I have is as close as it is to his character. I did what I always do before writing fiction, read other writers' work and see how they capture the character and watched videos or episodes to get a good feel of the character. So, I hope you will like it. Feedback is welcome. And just enjoy! Also English is not my first language.

Chapter List || Next Chapter

Masterlist || Join my tag list

Dividers by @cafekitsune

Song the title is referring to:

You gave me a reason for my being

And I love what I’m feelin’

You gave me a meaning to my life

Yes, I’ve gone beyond existing

And it all began when I met you

“Another day, another week.” You whispered to yourself as you stepped in the building where you work. You smiled quickly at the receptionist before making your way to the elevator. After you made the big move across the states, you were lucky to land a job as a proofreader in a publishing house. It wasn’t your dream job but it was the next best thing.

For as far as you can remember, you have always been taking care of your family. Many expectations and responsibilities were put on your shoulders from a very young age. So, when your brother stepped in and decided to move your father in with him, you felt some relief. A load was being taken off of your shoulders. You loved your family. But over the years, you had started to resent them slightly. You resented your father for being sick. You resented him for taking out his bad moods on you. You resented your siblings because they get to live their lives. You resented them for leaving you behind in the dust. You knew you loved them but you resented them. And you didn’t want to hate them. So, you left.

You made the move to Hell’s Kitchen, six months ago and you had big plans. First of which, was to properly kickstart your life. You didn’t think it would be easy. You knew it would have been a challenge but you didn’t think it would be that hard. After six months, you thought you would have made some friends or at least some acquaintances. But shy as you were, and as cautious as you were, making friends did not come easy for you.

You dropped your bag on the ground next to your chair. And dropped your coat on the back of it. Your desk was already stacked with manuscripts that needed to be proofread. You always started your day the same, first you read your emails and answered the most important ones. Then came coffee and then came reading with a red pen. You were to review any typos that may have somehow slipped past the author and the copy editor. You were also to review for issues like kerning and stacking and whether the running head is consistent. Proofreading was the last step before publication. You knew it was an important step, so you did it thoroughly. And you did it well. At least, you thought you did. Your boss had not complained about your work so far. And you took it as a good sign.

One of your coworkers stopped by your desk and softly called your name. You looked up at her. You knew her, you had barely interacted with her a few days before. She had long, red hair, that you loved, and legs for days. Her name was Amelia. A few nights ago, as you were leaving after workhours, she was standing outside of the building. A cigarette between her lips as she was looking for something.

“Excuse me?” She stopped you. You turned to her. “Do you have a lighter?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly. Your best friend from high school, had convinced you to buy a pack of lighter once. Telling you that it was the best way to meet people and to make friends. More precisely to meet your future boyfriend. “There you go.” You handed her the lighter.

“Thanks.” She lit her cigarette before giving it back to you. She took a long drag at it. The tension in her shoulders dropped. “I needed that.”

“You’re welcome.” You smiled at her and turned to leave.

“You’re that new proofreader, aren’t you?” She asked you.

“Yeah.” And you gave her your name.

“That’s a pretty name.” She remarked. “I’m Amelia.”

“Nice to meet you.” Amelia was not a proofreader. She was an acquisitions editor. The one, literary agents would come to, to sell a book. The book landed in her hands first, and if they made it past her, they landed in yours last.

You stayed with her long after she finished her cigarette. You walked with her because it was dark out. And Hell’s Kitchen wasn’t the safest place to be after dark. And there was strength in numbers. Coincidentally, your flat and hers weren’t that far apart. So, you walked her home before going to yours.

After that, you had not seen or heard much of Amelia. You thought that was it. But there she was, talking to you.

“So, some of us are going to grab a drink after work and I thought that maybe you would love to join us?” She sat on your desk.

“It’s barely 9 and you’re already thinking about the end of the day.” You scoffed lightly.

“Well, I need something to look forward to.” Amelia laughed. “So, wanna come?”

Your default answer was ready to come out of your mouth. You were already making up excuses to not go. And then you stopped yourself. Why shouldn’t you go tonight? There was no one waiting for you at home. You had no obligations. It could be a fun night out; you could even make a few new friends. Might even start a new friendship with Amelia. After all, she came to seek you out. She wanted to invite you.

“Why?” You had not meant to ask this out loud.

“What?”

“Why invite me? We barely talked to each other? Why ask me?”

“You said you just moved here in Hell’s Kitchen, remember?” Amelia gave you a tight smile. And you nodded at her words. “I figured I do the nice thing and invite you to come with us. Since, you don’t really know anyone here.”

Now, you felt stupid. You could feel your neck and cheeks heat up with your embarrassment. Not everyone was going to hurt you. There were good people in the world, you had to remind yourself of that.

“Sorry.” You apologized quickly. “I—I would love to come.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You nodded quickly.

“Good, I’ll come and get you when it’s time to go.”

You pressed your hands against your neck. If you could see yourself, you were sure there would be splotches of red all over it. Of course, you had to go and ask why? If “no” was your default answer most of the time, “why?” wasn’t too far behind. When your niece had first told you she loved you, your first answer wasn’t to say it back. It was to ask her why? And she had answered very sweetly: “Because you’re funny and you give the best hugs. And you always play with me.” And after that you never asked again. You only said it back. Because you did, you loved her very much.

You did not know why you did this. It was almost as though you did not believe that good things could happen to you. And if it did, it was not sincere. It was because someone wanted something from you and once, they got it. They’d leave you high and dry.

As the end of your day was nearing. Your anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You dreaded the moment Amelia would come and pick you up. You had agreed to it earlier because you genuinely wanted to. But now, all you wanted, was to go home. Not because you were drained or overstimulated. No, because you simply did not feel like going anymore. You were hoping she would forget about you. Or at least, it would have been cancelled.

It wasn’t cancelled. And you couldn’t just bail on them. It was the first time, since you arrived in Hell’s Kitchen, that you had been invited to hang out. If you bailed on them now, you might not be invited ever again. So, you went. And who knows, you might have some fun.

“Josie’s.” You read out as you stopped in front of the bar with Amelia.

“Yeah, it’s a dive bar, really.” Amelia told you quickly. “But the drinks good enough.”

“Okay.”

She pulled you in after her. You both stopped at the bar to order your drinks and she then took you to their table. It was a small gathering. You recognized a few people, there was the receptionist; Clara. Then, there was another proofreader, you had interacted with. Barely. His name was Sebastian and some other people. You sat next to Amelia.

As soon as you sat down, they resumed their conversations. You were a silent observer. You laughed at their jokes. You listened intently to what they were saying. And you were really brief when they asked you questions about yourself. And redirected the attention on someone else as quickly as possible. You did not want the spotlight to be on you.

While your coworkers were conversing with one another, you couldn’t help but glanced around you. Your eyes travelled over the numerous patrons in the bar. Bikers, blue collar workers and some white-collar workers. They were many. The bar seemed to be quite successful.

And then your eyes landed on him.

Dark haired, with red tinted glasses and a cane. His plump lips were begging to be kissed, his jawline was to die for. His hair looked soft to the touch and you were itching to run your fingers through them. His shirt was so tight that it left nothing to the imagination. You could tell that he was well built underneath it. And his smile—oh, his smile was the most beautiful, you’ve ever laid eyes on. It lit up his whole face. Made him look younger. He looked perfect in every way.

You quickly darted your eyes away. You did not want to be caught staring. However, it was too late. Unbeknownst to you, Amelia had caught you looking.

“So, you look like you’re enjoying yourself.” Amelia said as she pulled you to the bar, to grab another drink.

“I am.” You nodded. “Thank you for inviting me.”

“No problem.” Amelia nudged your shoulder. “Would you want to do it again sometimes?”

“Yes, but can we space them out?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that.” She snorted. “It’s only when the urge strikes.” And she turned away from you. She looked over her shoulder briefly. “So, someone caught your eye.”

“What? No.” You answered quickly.

“That’s not what I saw.” She smirked at you. Josie pushed your beers towards you. “You kept staring at glasses over there.” She waved her hand towards perfect man.

“No, I did not.” You protested while pulling her hand down.

“Oh, come on!” Amelia insisted. “It’s not a crime. He’s pretty and you have eyes. It’s okay to stare a little.”

“Stop.”

“But you know what would be even better?”

“I’m going to regret this.” You rolled your eyes in annoyance. “What?”

“If you spoke to the guy. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Rejection.” You simply answered.

“Well, rejection is part of the game.” She shrugged. You gave out a deep sigh, and put your chin in the palm of your hand. “You got nothing to lose and everything to gain.”

Nothing to lose? Easy for her to say. After all, she wasn’t the one who had her heart broken, so many times, that there was barely anything left of it. When it came to the matters of the heart, you did not think that the risks were worth it. Even if it was for a Pretty Boy.

Your eyes landed on him again, in spite of yourself. His eyes seemed to be on you and Amelia. Almost as though he was directly looking at you. But he was blind, right? That would be impossible.

“You’re staring again.” She teased you. And you turned back to the bar quickly.

“Drop it.” You told her sternly. “It’s not worth it.” Her eyebrows went into her hairline. “Plus, a guy like him would never go for a girl like me.”

“What? Beautiful and sweet?”

“I’m not beautiful. I’m not ugly but I’m not beautiful. I’m average at best.” You shook your head. “And I’m not sweet.”

Amelia looked at you baffled by your defensiveness over compliments. You acted as though she insulted you. She pushed your beer away from you.

“First, those were compliments and not insults. So, take them.” Amelia said. “And why would he go for someone else when he could go for you?”

“You’re being this nice to me over a lighter?”

“It’s not just about the lighter.” She told you. “You walked me home. You didn’t have to but you did. It was very kind and sweet. Thus, proving my point. You are sweet.”

“It was practical. My flat isn’t too far away from yours. And it was as much for your safety as it was for mine.” You shrugged. “It’s dangerous at night in Hell’s Kitchen.”

Amelia rolled her eyes and groaned in frustration. “You are going to take that compliment. I will beat it into you, if I have to.”

“That would be assault.”

“You thing you’re funny, uh?”

“I think I’m adorable.”

“Bitch, you’re testing my patience.” And that got a laugh out of you. She shook her head and laughed with you. “You really are annoying.”

“That’s more like it.” You grinned at her. “Want me to walk you home again?”

“Yeah,” She nodded and clinked her beer with yours. “We finish our drinks and then, we’re good to go.”

“Okay.”

She waved her finger at you. “But this conversation is not over.”

“What conversation?” You retorted, taking on a faux air of innocence.

Amelia glared at you which elicited a chuckle out of you. “Put a few drinks in you and you turn into a comedian. Who would have thought?”

“I could have mentioned it. Save you some time.”

“Do you need to have an answer to everything?”

“Should I answer that or--?”

“Oh, shut up.” And you snorted.

She raised her beer to her lips and toss it back. She gulped the rest of the bottle down and slammed it back onto the counter. Both of your empty bottles were left on the counter and you walked back to your small group of friends. On your way there, your eyes automatically found Pretty Boy, once again. Again, his gaze seemed to be on you and you dropped your eyes to the ground immediately. Feeling guilty that you were staring again, you let out a long sigh and muttered to yourself. “If he’s ever going for someone, it would be for Amelia.”

“There you go.” Amelia handed you your coat and bag. “What are you muttering to yourself again?”

“What do you mean again?” You asked stunned, blood rushing to your neck and cheeks. “You caught me doing that a lot?”

“You are not really trying to hide it.” Amelia shrugged. “So, what was it?”

“Nothing. It was nothing.” You pouted while you put on your coat.

“Was it about Pretty Boy?” She smirked at you.

“Oh, stop!” You said as sternly as possible with your lips jutted out in a pout. “It wasn’t about Pretty Boy.”

“Hmm,” She nodded smugly. “I’ll pretend I believe that.” She laced her arm with yours as you both exited the bar.

“He is really pretty.” You smiled shyly. Amelia’s shoulder nudged yours, as she giggled along with you.

“Next time, we see him. You’re talking to him.” You groaned at her words.

That night was the first time, you ever laid eyes on him. And you thought it would be the last time.

What were the chances for you to stumble upon him in this city ever again? He could be living outside of the city. Or it was only chance that brought him there tonight. And this was a once in a lifetime chance to meet the love of your life. And you blew it.

“Shut up!” You groaned as you slapped your forehead. “I did not blow my chance because there wasn’t one to begin with.”

“Voices in your head?” Amelia put down the lighter next to you.

“They’re really loud today.” You shook your head. “And you don’t have to bring it back all the time. You can keep it.”

“I won’t have an excuse to come and see you. anymore”

“You don’t really need one.” You sighed.

“True.” She smirked. “Wanna go to Josie’s tonight?”

“What are we celebrating?” You retorted.

“Nothing.” Amelia shrugged. “I thought maybe we could blow off some steam.” She shrugged and sat down on your desk. “Seeing as those last two months were kinda crazy.”

“Yeah, they were.” You agreed. “I mean we are nearing the end of the season.”

As it were in the publishing world, books are published in a three-season cycle: Winter, Summer and Fall. Winter season came to a close by the end of April and the datelines were getting closer. For the last two months, you and your team had been working nonstop. You and the author of the book you were proofreading, were going back and forth about editing issues he had. And his anxieties regarding the matter were also affecting you. Under pressure and anxious, you and your coworkers had no time to go back out.

“I could use the break.” You leaned back in your chair. “And a couple of beers.”

“It’s a date.” Amelia got back on her feet. “Meet you by the reception desk.”

“Yeah, see you.”

Amelia and you were on the sidewalk in front of Josie’s. She was smoking a cigarette before you both get in.

“Doesn’t it bother you?” Amelia asked you.

“I like the smell of it.” You shrugged.

She took another puff before she elbowed your side. You glared at her.  Her pointy elbow dug into your side painfully. “What’s that for?”

“It seems you’re in luck tonight.” She looked down at you. And with a jerk of her head, she indicated at something behind you.

You turned around and there he was. Tapping his cane on the sidewalk, holding the arm of a beautiful blonde. There was a man, blonde also, walking on his other side. Pretty Boy’s tie was loose around his neck and slightly crooked. A giant smile was on his face as the beautiful lady on his side threw her head back in laughter. You kept your eyes on their little group as they disappeared into the bar.

“Alright, tonight’s the night.” Amelia took a last puff out of her cigarette.

“What?” You turned to her confused.

“We agreed that next time we see him here, you would talk to him.”

“I did not agree to anything. You agreed with yourself.” You told her as she started to drag you toward the bar. “Amelia, stop!” You pulled your arm away from her.

“What are you so afraid of?” Amelia huffed in annoyance.

“Rejection. Humiliation. Mortification. Embarrassment.” You started to list out.

Sure, he was handsome. He was painfully handsome. And although, you had thought of his lips on yours, of his hands running through your hair as he whispered sweet nothings in your ear. Your hands flew to your ears at the thought. They warmed up as your blood rushed to them. You couldn’t do it. You couldn’t talk to him.

“I’m perfectly fine with watching him from afar.” You said quietly, dropping your hands. “Can we go somewhere else, please?” You crossed your arms over your chest, making yourself as small as possible.

She dropped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into her side. “We already here, so we might as well go in.” You started pulling away from her. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to. Relax.” She pulled you back in and turned you towards the doors.

“Promise?” You put your pinky out.

“Promise.” She hooked her pinky with yours.

In most situations, you weren’t afraid to go after what you wanted. Of course, you had to pass it through a few people first. Just to make sure you were making the right decision. Especially, when it came to your job. But when it came to relationships—romantic ones, you never took the first step. You were always afraid that the people you wanted—you desired—wouldn’t want you back. Which explains your lack of experiences when it came to dating. And the disappointing sexual experiences you had.

You sat at the bar and ordered your beer. Amelia sat beside you but kept looking over her shoulder. You turned briefly to where she was looking. And surely enough, she was looking directly towards Pretty Boy and his friends. You sighed and turned back around.

“You promised, remember?” You told her. “Pinky promised. Those are sacred.”

“Yeah, I know.” She pouted and turned back around. “You’re going to regret it later.”

“Don’t I know it?” You exhaled deeply.

How many times have you let someone go before you were too afraid to speak? How much longer will you stay up at night wondering about what ifs? How much longer will you stand in the way of your own happiness? How much longer will you live in fear?

There was comfort in fear. It kept you on your toes. It told you where the edge was. It helped you survive. There was nothing wrong with fear. There were no broken hearts, no hurt feelings. It was safe.

And yet—you wished you could take that step. You knew you could. You’ve done it before. You left the comfort of your home. Of everything you’ve known to come here in Hell’s Kitchen. What was the worse that could happen in talking to him? Nothing, right? It was just talking. A simple conversation between two people. Or maybe, you would just give him your number. He could call you if he wanted to. If not—well, you would keep wondering why he didn’t call you. The thought of it was torture enough.

You glanced back over your shoulder at Pretty Boy. He was no longer sitting with his friends. His coat was still there on the back of his chair, but he was gone. You turned back to your drink, and sorrowfully starting to play with the condensation on your beer.

“What can I get you, Murdock?”

“Just another beer, Josie, thanks.”

You turned your eyes towards the voice. And there he was. So, much more handsome up close. His voice was nice and deep. Music to your ears. You turned your eyes away from him. Your heartbeat was now racing in your ribcage. You looked up at the ceiling, searching for some sort of answers.

“Hey, I’m gonna go out for a smoke.” Amelia announced slamming her bottle on the counter.

“I’ll come with you.” You squeaked out.

“You should definitely stay and enjoy yourself.” Amelia pulled her hair out of the collar of her coat. “I’ll be back in a moment. You should—you know strike up a conversation or two.” And she pointedly looked at the man by your side.

You gasped as she left. “You promised!” You called after her. “Pinky promised.”

“What did she promise?” Pretty Boy asked you. A grin plastered on his face.

You took a few minutes to answer, your eyes following Amelia’s exit out of the bar. And let out a breath. “To not make me do something I didn’t want to do.”

“And what was it? The thing you didn’t want to do.”

You couldn’t help the small grin that came onto your face before you answered. “Striking up a conversation with someone.”

“Ah.” He nodded. “Why not?”

“It’s kind of terrifying for me to—talk to people.” The blood was rushing to your chest, your heart was slamming against your ribcage.

“You’re talking to me now.” His voice seemed lower as he spoke.

You scoffed. “True. I am.”

“How does it feel?” His lips twitched up at the corners.

“Not as terrifying as I thought.”

He chuckled. And you smiled at the sound. “I’m Matt.” He extended his hand out to you.

You put your hand in his. Your breath hitched in your throat as your skin touched his. You cleared your throat before giving him your name.

“You have a pretty name.” He told you.

“You make it sound prettier.” You quipped back, feeling braver now. His eyebrows flew high on his forehead before he let out a laugh. You laughed along with him. “Nice to meet you, Matt.”

“Pleasure’s all mine.” He nodded, this boyish grin never leaving his face.

That was the night you officially met Matt Murdock. It wasn’t as daunting as you thought it would be. In fact, speaking with Matt came easy to you. His eyes were unseeing and yet, they were always on you. And for once in your life, you did not mind the attention.

You didn’t think anything life altering would come of it. If anything, you thought you were gaining another friend.

Little did you know…

Chapter List || Next Chapter

[mantequillamcwhoremick]

A penny for your thoughts on the Dikinbaus episode? 👀👀👀

Omg okay so I definitely have to rewatch it like 10082927 times but just to go off of my late night 'delirious from excitement' watch, I am absolutely ECSTATIC at the way the episode treated Butters and gave him a well deserved win.

Butters has evolved a lot over the course of the show, he used to be a 100% naïve and innocent boy who was absolutely clueless about everything mature or terrible going on around him and it was always a very hopeful thing for me to watch him keep going and loving life despite how much the world tore him down on all ends. In a way, watching old seasons makes me miss the old Butters, but if Butters had just stayed the same for the next 20 seasons, he would hardly feel like a real/three dimensional person as he does now.

The changes and mood swings he's gone through, as well as the resilience he's started to build up were weird to watch at first (*COUGH* s20) but then they've started making more and more sense, especially taking into account the Post COVID special and the two wildly different paths his life could go.

That all being said, Dikinbaus was an absolutely satisfying cathartic episode as a Butters enthusiast, because he's just finally embracing things he's genuinely good at and demanding justice from someone who's arguably taken advantage of him the most in the entire show: Cartman.

It's kind of like Butters' version of Wendy's "Breast Cancer Show Ever" episode, where she's often been disrespected in a sexist way by him and no one (no teachers/adults) ever really did something, so she took matters into her own hands. Cartman is always screwing Butters over by letting him take the fall for his schemes, making Butters spend money on his behalf, and Butters has let him get away with it for so long, and so have Butters' parents (and everyone else but I especially blame the adults bc yknow).

This makes Dikinbaus kind of a kickstarter for Butters' "Fuck you, Eric!" moment at the end of Post COVID: The Return of COVID, which is nice to see because in the "Worldwide Privacy Tour" episode earlier in the season, Butters' behavior (after his parents sent him to rework his "brand") reminded me much more of Vic Chaos. It's nice to see these two versions of Butters' future reflect in present episodes, and I'm excited to see more of it in future episodes.

I've been rambling about Butters only but tbh I found the Kenman dynamic in this episode hilarious too. It makes me kind of mourn the respect Butters had for Kenny though, bc I'm sure that after this episode it must've significantly gone down, but honestly I was just happy to see Kenny have some fun even if it was at Butters' expense. Let him be a dumb immature kid fr

The only issue I had with the episode for now is the commentary on mental health days at work and the underlying "today's youth is sensitive and too lazy to work" message, which lacked nuance and just kinda felt like old people complaining. It would've been okay if they'd kept it only to Cartman, kinda like the "there's queer people, and then there's Mr Garrison" thing, but they brought Kenny & other kids into that narrative too so it made me feel a little eh about the commentary. But oh well

Sorry anon, you gave me a penny and I'm throwing a whole thesis on you but I still thank you a lot for asking and letting me ramble. Kisses to you :>>

[fiotrethewey]

Hi guys!

Err life update? I guess. I should do these more often.

If you haven't been living under a rock, I've been making @theholmwoodfoundation with @georgiacooked you should absolutely check that out if you like horror, ghosts, the Dracula novel, Sean Carlsen being exasperated or any of the writing either of us have done. I say this with full honestly that I am so very proud of the work we have put in, and the cast and crew have done amazing things with the script.

Also, for those into Gallifrey - it's full of BF Gallifrey Alumni!! (Also I honestly had no idea until later Rebecca Root was in Time War, wtf!) I think it's something very special, and I hope to think the Gallifrey fandom will enjoy a lot of the themes, but that is of course for you to decide.

I mean, Sean swears constantly in it. You all want to hear that don't you?

Kickstarter goes live on the 15th, along with the pilot so please do check it out! The Holmwood Foundation by Georgia Cook — Kickstarter

--

Other life things! Well, I'm now almost 7 months on HRT. and transitioning is going super well! I'm also a year since my top surgery.

Left: Pre HRT in March. Right: 7 months later.

And Georgia and I are finally looking to move in together very soon. (Yes, starting an audio drama, and moving house might be what the cards hold for next year, thanks life for doing everything at once.)

Here's two pics of us looking super cute from the other weekend. I tried to take pics at Gallifrey Cabaret but it was too dark :(

It's been one hell of a year so far and the world can still be a very scary place for people like me but I have love in my corner and we are trying out best.

--

Lastly, Georgia and I are working with @audiodramahub as part of the team to create a Podcast Festival on November 2nd! The Riverside Club, High Wycombe (UK)!

This year the group have a focus on sound design and production - featuring:

Emperor of the Daleks NICHOLAS BRIGGS as Keynote speaker

Sound Design and Fundraising Panels and Workshops (That Georgia and I are supporting!)

Voice Acting Workshop with Sarah Golding and Karim Kronfli

Speed Date Networking

IF YOU ARE IN THE UK (and can get to High Wycombe)!

Tickets can be found here

Not a podcaster and just want to see some audio dramas live? Evening only tickets are available too!

There are other things I want to talk about that I've been involved in, but I can't yet, but I'm hoping I can very very soon :)

I hope you're all doing well! Thanks for reading!

[kebriones]

Idk if you have answered this before but how do you see the future for artists in Greece?

I know a small country with mostly agricultural and many people try desperately to meet ends meet and work a lot. Of course that's a global issue what work people prefer but i don't like art being discriminated.

In Greece how's it looking?

Unfortunately, greece is no longer a mainly agricultural economy. Tourism and shipping are by far our main industries.

It's true that many people struggle here, and the way things are going, will continue to struggle. And it's true that artists in general, not just here, always have the most unstable jobs and struggle.

It's not looking good. And for greece specifically everything seems to keep getting worse. The arts are overlooked on all levels, from primary school to university to funding for theaters or even exporting art. Nobody seems to understand how important it is for a culture to be producing and 'consuming' its own art. You slowly lose yourself when all you ever read and watch is from other cultures. Of course it's vital to interact with the arts of other cultures. But not exclusively that. Plus most of it is from the US/the anglosphere anyway.

All types of art are suffering here, but I see people keep trying. Not the majority, the majority of artists I know feel hopeless and defeated. But there are still artists who try to make it here. They make great music and comics and indie movies and great theater plays. And i do think that we can do so much more. The gaming and animation industries are almost non existent here, and there's so much potential there. You don't need some great infrastructure for those, you just need people who are willing to work, and a little financial support because so many people genuinely live in poverty right now. And it's these people who, upon given the opportunity will work the hardest. Many rich kids I know from art school don't care about working hard and making it, because it is actually very hard to be an artist, and it's easier to just go work for your dad's business than slave away in a moldy basement you're paying half of your income in rent for. In other countries with developed industries in these things, you don't need financial support to kickstart them, because there actually are studios you can go work for and learn in etc and the industry exists already.

The prevailing attitude here is that you need to migrate to find work, to be appreciated, to have a good life and do something that matters and not waste yourself. Which is, currently, the most reasonable route for an artist, and what I dreamed of when I was in highschool. But seeing a place like this destroy itself and become nothing but a fancy amusement park for rich foreign people sucks. There's talent and there's people with things to offer here and a culture that gets lost because everyone, including ourselves, sees our culture as just antiquity. Modern greek culture is seen as insignificant, wrong and bastardized, it's not something to care about beyond the tasty food, it's not as great as it should be and it will never live up to a past so idealized it's fake. This is connected to our perception of our own artistic production right now. You have Euripides, you don't need to worry about writing great plays yourself. You have all these ancient sculptures, you don't need any more amazing sculptors. A kot has been said about this problem modern greece has. Antiquity is inescapable and you need to look at it and accept it on one hand, but it is a crutch and a discouragement on the other. We struggle to exist alongside it in a healthy way.

Anyway I am hopeful that things can get better, because i think we can make them better. We just need to work harder and focus and make ourselves heard through our art, chase opportunities and build communities here and not give up when everyone around you is telling you you're better off in a soul-crushing job that will at least provide you with a steady salary for the next 40 years of your life that can barely afford you rent and groceries.

[aeraspais]

i wonder if most of the pushback with regard to 8x05 comes from the fandom being so sure that eddie is going to figure out he’s gay before he shaves the mustache. i think that belief has led to there being this sense of ‘if gay eddie/buddie doesn’t happen now and like this then it’s never going to happen and we’re running out of time’, which isn’t true. i admittedly did get caught up how the fandom theorized episodes 5-7 would play out (bt fight and breakup in 5-6, gay eddie and mustache shaved in 6, possible feelings realization in 7) and felt disappointed with 8x05 because of that, but after rewatching the episode and reevaluating the expectations i had for it and why i even had them in the first place i feel a lot better about it. eddie’s arc is only just starting! we know the shaving scene is at the end of the next episode, and imo it would be extremely rushed for eddie to realize he’s gay within that time frame based on what we’ve seen from him so far. eddie has clearly been thinking a lot about the situation he’s in but his sense of self is still wrapped up in being a father. my guess now is that he will confide in someone about feeling completely lost without christopher in his life and the mustache being a manifestation of that, and they will tell him that altering his physical appearance isn’t the solution he needs to change his circumstances and encourage him to figure out who he is outside of being a father. the synopsis for 8x06 says a call dealing with a divorced man will open old wounds, so if that's about eddie then i think that he will likely also confess to shannon wanting a divorce and how he’s been lying to himself about the true nature of their marriage and the effect that lie has had on all his subsequent romantic relationships. shaving off the mustache will be what kickstarts his self-discovery arc instead of being the moment he accepts his sexuality like i’d thought previously.

as far as the bt breakup goes — if the show does end up going the route of tommy being abby’s ex and that striking a nerve with buck, i think that could be the catalyst that allows him the freedom to admit all the other things about tommy/the relationship that he dislikes but has so far disregarded in an effort to make the relationship work. the comments buck made in 8x05 (“oh so i am gross?” and “my own boyfriend won’t even kiss me”) point toward him feeling dissatisfied and frustrated with tommy. i also wanted to add on to what the other anons have said about bt’s lack of intimacy and say that i find it to be apparent in the dialogue as well. what stuck out the most to me about the daddy issues joke last season was that although buck and tommy had been seeing each other for a couple months and were presumably fucking, tommy still says “god i hope so” instead of something like “i know you do” which would have established a sense of familiarity between the two. everything about the way they’re physically positioned in scenes and how they speak to each other shows that the writers are not interested in developing tommy or the relationship beyond what’s strictly necessary.

also! something i liked about the episode was how it showcased how much trust and respect buck has for eddie versus how little he cares for tommy’s input. tommy and eddie both tried to talk buck out of believing he’d been cursed, but he only relented because of eddie (the pointed “if you say so”). even tommy recognized that he was incapable of swaying buck and deferred to eddie (“listen to the medic”). buck protested when tommy called him out for picking his skin but quieted when eddie backed him up. tommy doesn’t know best, eddie does. also the way buck kept talking about billy boils despite tommy’s multiple (very condescending and patronizing!) attempts at getting him to stop… buck does not like that man lol

Thank you for sending me such a thought-provoking message. I love this post entirely, but I have one small correction regarding your first piece about Eddie’s journey. From my perspective, it's misconception that Eddie’s gay discovery hasn’t started. I always thought the Buddie feelings realization theories were too fast, too soon since they would be a core couple, and like Chimney and Maddie before, their romantic development would happen spread across the season. However, we’ve been watching Eddie’s gay discovery storyline unfold the moment he said “Tommy’s gay?”, learned he and Buck were on a date, then instead of breaking up, stayed with Marisol. So I don’t believe it’d be rushed if he has a small realization that he keeps privately to himself. Otherwise, I agree with you and all your thoughts.

I don’t want to simply reword everything you said about Buck and Tommy. I will also add that Buck likely believes he owes Tommy their relationship since he’s his first gay relationship. Buck has once remained in a relationship under obligation (Taylor Kelly after they said “I love you”). And he has never made the same mistake twice in his relationships.

[eliotbaum]

Hi Eliot! First of all, I wanted to tell you I love your art so so much!! You inspire me so much as an artist and you and Viv are one of the main reasons I'm backing The Book of Devotion Kickstarter!

I am also a DnD player and I wanted to ask you, do you ever feel disconnected from your characters? I am currently playing a campaign set in Ravnica from Magic the Gathering and I absolutely love it (100% recommend as a setting as well) and I love my character Daphne, but for some reason the past few sessions I've been feeling very withdrawn and unhappy with my RP choices, I feel Daphne very far away from me If that makes sense? Have you ever experienced something similar? Would love to hear your thoughts on this!!

Thank you!!

Wah thank you so much!!! 🥺 it's SUCH a fun concept I hope you'll enjoy it! Oh man, I'm sorry to hear you're feeling disconnected. It's such a bummer when something that got us so immersed and invested feels more distant. I've only played one campaign with the same character, so I'm not sure if I can give the best advice here. But yes, I do know the unfortunate phenomena! I'm actually struggling with the same thing right now so maybe we can figure it out togethaa. I'll answer more in-depth under the cut but if anyone else has tips, do feel free to drop them.

So yes, this all sounds familiar. Recently I'm just "going through the motions" of playing a character, without being immersed in them. Even if we still very much enjoy everything about the character or the game. Personally, I tried to pinpoint where this could come from. Is it an ingame thing, or is it something outside? (stress kills my creative drive) Has this campaign been going on for a while, have there been any exciting things happening with Daphne? Have you had fun opportunities for her to shine, was there anything that moved you? Just throwing some questions out there to help the wheels turning. I think bringing this up with your group and DM is also worth considering. Being invested in roleplay and your character is such a major part of the game (to me!) and maybe there's something where everyone can help. Be that giving you opportunities for dramatic or heartfelt moments, or simply hyping each other and their characters up around the game, not even just during sessions. But, onto the actual things that have helped me: I found a song that feels very Kasper to me, and I always try and listen to it before a session to get back into my PC's mindset and get that special spark and feeling back. Deep immersion mode... I also find creating art or writing around the character also very rewarding and exciting. I often see folks write a diary in character, or simply write up how their character felt after a session. I did that for a while after work -- and rereading diary entries with some very dramatic sombre music in the background brought a bit of that connection back, haha. Rereading notes for next sessions, or old ones is also worth a shot. What's your character all about and what's important to them? In the same vein I like to indulge in some Imagining, Daydreaming of past and future RP moments that excite me. Of course, all while listening to dramatic music...

Anyway I hope either you did figure it out in the meantime, or this helps just a little. Wishing us all to have fun, be crazy for our little OCs and sharing exciting moments and stories with each other.

[lysarria]

Warnings: Fluff, Tiny hint of PTSD, Cussing, Lots of love ❤️

Words: 3562

I enjoyed writing this and I hope that you all enjoy it as well. This story will be 2 parts. Possibly 3. There will be typos. Thank you for reading ☺️😘

A love that never fades

Part 1

Finally got the last box out of storage and into my house. Long distance moving and trying to get everything lined up is frustrating and very exhausting. I flopped my tired body onto the couch to rest my sore feet and back. I reached for my phone to check the notifications and I saw I had new text messages. Most were in my group chat with Cat and James (My friend and Sy's sister Catherine and her husband James who is good friend of Sy's from the Army). I replied in our group chat and went to my next set of new texts and they were from Lily (Sy's Mom).

Lily - Good morning sunshine and welcome home! We are thrilled that you are back here. We think of you as family and love you. You are always welcome at our house.

Let me know if you need any help! If you are feeling up for it later today we would love to have you over at the house for dinner and catching up. You're welcome over anytime but we will start cooking around 4:00. :)

While reading her messages I started to tear up a little bit and felt happiness in my heart. I moved away for a job opportunity little over 3 years ago. I gained a great deal of experience to further my job advancement but the feeling of being out of place and alone started to wear me down. I knew where I belonged so I put together a plan and made it happen. I replied back and let her know that I'd love to come over and that I would let her know once I was on my way.

I placed my phone on the ottoman and jumped up and started to dig around in boxes and putting together an outfit for this afternoon. Once that mission was completed I decided to turn on some music to rock out to and start working on unpacking boxes and figure out how I wanted to setup the house. Mötley Crüe - "Kickstart my heart" came on and that music adrenaline rush hit and I was rocking out all over the house cleaning out boxes while memories of Sy started to flood in and how he had taken me to see Mötley Crüe in concert a couple of times. He would always stand close to me, especially during the slow songs. He would stand behind me and wrap his arms tightly around me. Damn, I miss him. Does he miss me? Does he ever think of me ? For whatever reason we became distant after I moved. Honestly, the man is on my mind probably more than he should be, but maybe that's not such a bad thing. I sighed and shook my head and reset my focus back on the task.

I took a much needed long shower. The hot water felt so good on my sore body. Now it was time to finish getting ready and drive over to the Syverson's for dinner. I sent Lily a text to let her know I would be leaving soon and should arrive in 30 minutes. I am excited, nervous, happy and somewhat emotional on this drive. I haven't seen them in years and I have missed them so much. It is such a beautiful drive in the country to their house.

The leaves are starting to change colors for Fall. The feeling of actually being home is becoming stronger and stronger. The feeling of real happiness is sparking again. Moving back to Texas was the best decision and I'm excited for the future.

I entered their long driveway and came to a stop. I stepped out of the car and grabbed my phone to take a picture. They have Pecan trees and Oak trees along the sides of the driveway. The color of the leaves are so magical. A slight breeze blows the leaves around and the smell of crisp air flows. I've always loved their property. Out in the country. Away from the loud and busy city. Out here it's just nature and peace. I let out a content sigh and get back into the car and continue on. I parked my car and got out and looked around. Sy's truck is under the car port. He would always leave his truck at his parents during deployment. I could feel my heart speeding up just seeing his truck and all the memories I have with him. Our random adventures, driving around just because, going out to eat, sitting on the tailgate and watching sunsets. He loves that truck and seemed that he also loved having me sit next to him with his arm around me. I know that I loved it and I would put my head against his chest. I know he's currently deployed in Iraq but a big part of me wishes that this was a surprise and he was actually home because he's pulled that surprise on me before. I jumped as a dog started to bark at me and my eyes quickly located the incoming dog. "Hank!?" I quickly squatted down and greeted their Chocolate Labrador, Hank. I gave him lots of love and pets as he's trying to lick my face off and dancing in excitement. All these years and he remembers me! Then I hear laughing and look up to see Lily and Felix (Sy's Dad). I stood up and walked towards them and they met me half way. Lots of hugs given and received. They are two of the kindest people I've ever met. Chatting away in the driveway with Lily and there's good ole Hank at my side. Felix went back into the house but returned in seconds. I can hear keys jingling and slightly curious. Lily stepped away to check on dinner and Felix motions for me to follow him. We chat back and forth as we walk to Sy's truck and he hands me the keys that I heard. I looked at him and then to the truck. Felix smiles at me and says "Go ahead Sweetheart. I saw you checking out his truck when you got here." I unlocked the door and slowly slide onto the custom made leather bench seat. I looked down at the set of keys and Sy still had something on the keyring that I had made for him many years ago when I was learning different crafts. A small metal charm in the shape of Texas and I had engraved Sy and a little heart below his name. I put the key in the ignition and started up his truck. Ahhh that loud rumble. I can't help but smile like a big goof. His truck had such a distinct sound. Everything inside looks almost the same as a few years ago. I turned off the truck and slid out of and I handed Felix the keys and thanked him. He then looks at me and says "You know he loves you, right." Tears immediately start to form up as I look at him. Shocked and unsure what to do or say. Felix reaches out and hugs me tightly and as I'm crying I tell him that I love his son so much. He patted me on the back saying "I know you love him, sweetheart. You always have. You're very special to him and to us as well. You bring out a side of him that not many people get to see. You truly make him happy, dear."

Felix made sure I was okay and then stepped back into the house to help Lily with dinner. I walked around the yard with Hank by my side as I gather myself and my thoughts before I head inside. We walk up the steps and I open the door and I'm hit with the wonderful smell of Pot Roast. Lily and Felix always made the most delicious meals. I head into the kitchen and let them know dinner smells great! Lily smiles and winks at me. "We knew this was one of your favorites and we felt a good comfort meal would be perfect for this evening." Felix is making homemade mashed potatoes and rolls. I thanked them for doing so much for me and it wasn't needed. They just shake their heads at me and Felix said dinner will still be a bit and to make myself at home.

I walked around the house and viewed the framed pictures on the walls. Many pictures of friends and family. Army pictures. Baby pictures. A few of the pictures I remember and then some new ones. Pictures of Cat and James adorable daughter, Skyler. She is 2 years old. There's a picture of my Dad and Felix. They were both Majors in the Army. They had met on Base and quickly became good friends. That is how I ended up in this area during my highschool days. My parents had divorced and I picked to live with my Dad. He was transferred to Texas and of all the places we lived. This is where I felt the most at "home." A lot of that is from meeting the Syverson family and how fast they welcomed us in like we were family. Now I am in my late 30s and this is where I still feel the most at home and welcomed. I stepped down the hallway and there's one of my favorite pictures of me and Sy at a Fall festival. Both of us making goofy faces while lost in a corn maze. I can't believe that was almost 4 years ago. Another picture is me with the Syverson family on Christmas. Cat came up with the idea of doing an ugly Christmas sweater photo op and everyone actually agreed to it. That was a fun day. We did the photos after opening our gifts. So to add to the ugly sweaters we decided to stick bows on each other and do silly pictures. His family has such a great sense of humor and very laid back. All these memories makes my heart feel alive. I walked down the hall more and enter Sy's old bedroom. He always liked to stay at his parents house from time to time. Framed Army certificates, Medals, Awards and Army group pictures are hung on the walls. His stereo system and large music collection still sat in the same spot as I remembered. The top of his dresser had a couple of framed pictures. One of him with his parents before leaving for his first deployment. The second picture is of us at Cat and James wedding 4 years ago. Sy in his Army dress uniform....*swoons*. Another favorite picture of us. They had such a beautiful outdoors evening wedding. I grabbed the photo and sat on the bed and just stared at it. It's so obvious that we love each other. I have so many regrets and I'm sure Sy has regrets as well. I do hope that whenever he returns home that he will want to see me and we can talk. I miss that man so much. Half of my heart feels empty without him. Then I hear a knock on the door and Lily walks in. She sat down on the bed next to me and looked at the picture with me.

"He called us a couple of days ago. We told him that you were getting yourself settled in. I could hear a difference in his voice once I mentioned you. He sounded livelier. He asked if you were single! Oh my boy. That was his first question about you. I could hear him smile. If that makes sense. When I told him that you were single. He said he wished he could get on that plane now and come home. He probably has three more months on this deployment but maybe things will change and he can come home sooner. That would be wonderful, huh? Ya know....you should mail him a Care package. I remember when you would mail him packages and letters all the time. You helped him feel like he wasn't too far from home or alone. He knew he had people back home that cared and loved him. I think that would be quite the surprise for him on mail day! I will write down his address for you. He decided to date about a year and half ago while he was home in between deployments and that didn't last long. That girlfriend was absolutely the worst nightmare ever and really messed him up. He was really hard on himself after that. He wanted to jump in his truck and drive out to see you. He kept kicking himself for not asking you out. So many years he wanted to ask you out. He wanted to take it further with you but he always hesitated. We sat right here on this bed and had many discussions about the two of you. I believe in soul mates and I feel it in my heart that you two are meant to be. You both were teenagers when you met but even then. You both clicked like you had known each other for a lifetime and got along perfectly. It was hard for him to fully wrap around the idea he had met "the one" at such a young age. Then he went into the Army and was away so often. He wasn't sure if you wanted that life with him because you grew up in the Army life with your dad. At times he wondered if he deserved to have you in his life in that way. Each deployment changed him and I get it. I went through it with Felix. Just like you had seen a change in your Dad over the years. I told Sy that you are both strong people and can handle anything that is tossed at you. As he grew up and older he realized more and more that you were his world and didn't want to be without you and kicked himself for the past and letting all these years slip by. You two have such a special bond and no other woman has made him feel the way that you do or treated him so lovingly the way you do. I think things will fall right back into place as they were with you two and your future together will be bright and full of happiness and maybe even a wedding! Then we can officially make you a Syverson!"

Lily winked at me and I can feel that I'm blushing and my face hurts from smiling. Felix shouts from down the hall that dinner is ready!

Dinner was amazing and the best meal I've had in a long time. We sat at the table talking and catching up. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the sun was setting. The sky was covered in orange, red and a hint of yellow. I quickly jumped up and asked if one of them would take my picture with Sy's truck so I could print him a copy and put it in his care package. We rushed outside to capture the gorgeous sunset before it was gone. The sun was shining brightly through the trees. Felix took a few pictures for me and then I asked for a group picture. Of course we included Hank! It was very entertaining trying to get the 4 of us in a picture but we finally got it. I can give Sy a copy of that picture as well. We go back inside and continue to chat and catch up. Lily yawns and I didn't realize how fast time had zipped by. It was almost 10:00 p.m. I thanked them again for a wonderful evening and everything they had done for me. They followed me out to my car. I gave Hank some pets and told him bye. I hugged Lily and Felix again and got into the car then Lily stops me from leaving and runs into the house and returns with a post-it note and smiles at me. It's Sy's Military address. It's too late to shop for items tonight. I know what my plans are for tomorrow after my morning jog. I'm excited to go shopping for Sy like I use to and buy some of his favorite things. The drive home went by fast as I had many thoughts going in my brain. Having someone and something special to look forward to. It really makes each day better and happier.

I got up early and went for my usual sunrise jog. Afterwards, I went the post office to get Priority mail shipping boxes and then off to the store to buy items to put into his care packages. It's been such a long time since I've felt like this. The excitement for him to receive my packages and how he'll react when he opens. If only I could see those reactions. From the way his parents talked to me then he should be over the moon. I purchased: coffee, creamer packets, beef jerky, trail mix, oatmeal cookies, granola bars and packs of crackers. Then I decided to get some candies that were cute and a little flirty. In my head I could see him shaking his head and grinning as he pulled the items out of the box. So off to the candy aisle! I tossed a variety of different types of Hershey's kisses...they probably won't survive the Iraq heat but I'm sure he'll still enjoy. Looking around I spot Hot Tamales candies.... I mean...he is pretty damn hot. Perfect find. Tossed a couple of boxes of those in the cart. The last great find... Gummy bears! Of course. I've called him Bear for almost 20 years. Then I went to the other side of the store and purchased some hygiene products that will I will put into a different care package box. Off to the register to purchase the items. I almost feel like squealing and dancing as I exit the store. Before going home I swing by the photo center and quickly print off some copies of the pictures we had taken the day before.

I placed all of the store bags on the living room floor and then I went to browse my crafting box for cardstock, stickers, markers and glue. It's been a while since I've mailed him a package but I had kept all of the supplies. I sat on the living room floor and started working on the packages. Trying to decide on what to write on the inside flaps of the boxes. Then it hit me...."Someone in Texas misses you beary much!". Cute, cheesy, corny? I'm going to go with my heart on this and just be me. After writing that on the flaps I placed a big cute bear sticker on one flap and then placed some little red hearts on each flap. I filled up the boxes with the items I had purchased. I wrote a short note to him on the inside of a card and wrote my phone number at the bottom. I'd love to hear his voice. I placed the photos in the card and sealed the envelope. I looked at both care packages and felt like they were ready to be taped up and to be mailed. I decided to add a little extra love and put some hearts on the outside of the boxes as well. I wish I could see the looks he receives whenever he picks up his packages.

Off to the Post office I go. I took a picture of me with the boxes and sent to Lily. Packages were accepted and later today they will officially be on the way to Iraq to a very special Captain. I get back into the car and Lily had replied:

Wow Honey!! You were on it this morning, huh?! You are such a wonderful person. Thank you for caring and loving our Son like you do. Thank you for loving us and we love you and glad you're a part of our family.

Each day I check the tracking numbers on his packages to see their progress. On day 10 the status on both of his packages change to Arrived to Military Post office. They made it ! Now the feeling of being nervous/anxious hits. I check the tracking again a few hours later and the status has changed. Green words that say "Package delivered to Recipient." I thought I was nervous and anxious earlier. Nope. What I feel now blows that away. I want to jump up and down, scream, cry, giggle, dance. Every emotion is hitting me. Will he call me or maybe just write to me. I can't concentrate on anything. All of my thoughts are on him and these packages I sent. Hours go by and nothing. It's almost 9:00 pm and my phone starts to vibrate and I freeze in spot. I grab my phone. Unknown number. I accepted the call and said Hello. I hear a lot of crackling. No voice. I say hello again. Still just crackling. Then I hear a deep breath...

"I miss you too, Sweet Pea."

..... To be continued 💚

Tags: @mayloma @identity2212 @happydistraction @blah80 @beck07990

[crescencestudio]

Devlog #35 | 09.26.23

Hi everyone!

Hope the beginning of Fall has been kind to you all <3 To be Frank, it has not been Kind to me LMFAO. But I'll get into that, so let's dive in yippee!

Before I do, someone liked this post recently, which was such a throwback. It was before the full demo was out and everything!! I was so young and full of life. I'm going to sprinkle some comparison shots of the new assets with the old ones to break up the text and also walk down memory lane with me! (Full GUI not shown as I'm still waiting on the assets)

Chapter Cards (Left: After | Right: Before)

The "Progress"

I'm going to structure this devlog a little differently from the usual template. The main reason being, for those of you who didn't see, I have not been feeling Myself recently.

This month I found myself all out of sorts. While I felt like I was making progress and doing so much everyday read: fighting for my life, when I looked back on things at the end of this month, I didn't feel like I really did much.

On a higher level, I finished fulfilling Kickstarter physical rewards, opened a Kofi shop of the remaining merch, edited Druk's route and continued writing Etza's route, updated assets and code for the updated demo, and then general commission stuff (BGs from Vui, soundtracks from Peter, etc.).

But overall, Alaris felt largely like it was kinda sitting at around the same spot as it did when I entered this month. Which made me a little sad! I had wanted to make So Much Progress on Alaris because next month I won't be able to work on it really. Then, I realized I haven't taken a break from game development since I started it two years ago HA!!!

The Real Progress

Development for me has been back-to-back. Chapter releases every 1-2 months during my first half year of development, Full Demo release shortly after, Kickstarter shortly after, Full Game Development shortly after. When I was feeling burnt out from Alaris, I made intertwine. Then I was Heavily Involved in the development of two games shortly after.

All of this on top of my IRL responsibilities, which include a job, PhD school, and well, functioning as a normal human occasionally.

And then here we are at the end of September 2023, and I'm wondering why even though I creatively want to work on Alaris, I find my brain literally just getting too tired to think.

Etza CG (Left: After | Right: Before)

I think ever since the Kickstarter, I've put a lot of pressure on myself to consistently put out LOTS of updates for each monthly devlog. I don't want people to think I'm not working on things or I'm not committed to delivering after giving me their hard earned money. But now, with two years under my belt, I'm realizing that is... HMM maybe too high of a standard to put on myself for my first game ever. There are many much more seasoned developers than me who don't put that pressure on themselves (which is Good and Healthy).

So this month, I debated scrounging around and gathering all my crumbs to give you all a devlog that you'll be satisfied with. But I decided ultimately that wouldn't be good for me and would honestly not be the most transparent way to present the current process of things.

And so. Here I am. Head in my Hands. Letting you all know that while I'm not "burnt out," I am.... only human LOL (one human at that). And so some months, like this one, will just not have much progress to report. Not because I'm not working on it or any other deeper reason. But because it's physically impossible and unreasonable for me to be continuously pushing out a steady stream of content.

In-Game Sprites & BGs (Left: After | Right: Before)

Next month, I'lll be taking a vacation. It's actually my first Big, Official one in a Long Time! I'm very excited for it. And while I did initially think about working on Alaris while I was traveling on trains or things like that, I decided to respect my own need to be a Human and just take a break for once in my life. I don't even want to say I Might work on things, because that sentiment alone will pressure me to make some progress. So yes. Next month, there will be no devlog or updates. But please rest assured, I am "working on Alaris" by letting myself just Exist and Rest Up!

Not an Alaris screenshot but it is market research that deserves to be included because I played House in Fata Morgana recently and it was Phenomenal!

Thank you all for understanding and your continued support. I'm extremely appreciative to have such a kind and patient community. Hope you all have a wonderful October filled with Fall Treats, and I'll see you in November! <3

[avantegarda]

Razzle Dazzle

So it's been like 2 years since I wrote any Silmarillion stories, and like 4 since I wrote anything in my Victorian AU. But for @luthiendear's Luthien Week, I finally am returning to my roots and writing a short that I've been mulling over for quite some time.

Summary: Luthien duBois, Louisiana heiress and hopeless romantic, kickstarts the greatest jewel heist in American history.

---

San Francisco, 1899

The Angband Club

Luthien duBois was a great believer in positive thinking. It had helped her sail through plenty of trouble already, and no matter how terrifying the man in front of her was, she decided to believe her plan would work. It had gotten off to a decent start, anyway; Beren had gone in the day before and got himself hired as a barman, and the rest was in Lulu's hands.

Mr. Morgoth, frequently described as the most evil gangster in America, looked her up and down suggestively and stroked his luxuriant dark mustache. "You're a pretty thing," he drawled. "Only reason I let you in here, really. Tell me, young lady, what can I do for you?"

"I've come looking for work," she replied with a coquettish smile. "Word around town is, you run the finest saloon in this city, with top-notch talent. And I'm an excellent dancer."

"Oh, I can well believe that. But you must understand, miss..."

Lulu dropped into a curtsy. "Call me Nightingale."

"How sweet. You must understand, Miss Nightingale, I have very lofty standards for my employees. Simple talent isn't enough, nor are big eyes and pretty ankles." He set his drink down with a clatter. "Loyalty, miss, and discretion. The same a general might demand of his troops. Behind these doors, there is no law but mine. Have you the strength of character to promise this?"

I have enough strength of character to rob you blind, you old roué, thought Lulu fiercely. But she managed an innocent giggle. "Why, of course, Mr. M! It would be my absolute honor. For you, I'm as well-behaved as a schoolgirl."

"Oh, but I do hope you won't be too well-behaved. I like my girls with a bit of...spice."

Revolting man! "Why don't you let me audition," she purred, "and you'll see just how spicy I can be."

He gestured to the small stage across the room. "Do, please. I cannot wait."

She took a deep breath and pulled the pins from her hair, letting it fall around her like a cloak. "Play something lively," she ordered the man at the piano, and hopped up onto the stage. As the pianist struck up a jolly ragtime tune, she shut out her surroundings and danced.

She'd been trained in ballet, but this wasn't really ballet, not entirely. There were bits of flamenco, some calypso she'd seen on the streets of New Orleans, a hint of Irish jig, and plenty of whatever simply occurred to her in the moment. There was no point in being shy; she did have talent, and it didn't feel like a sin to show it off. Even in this situation.

The song ended at last, and it took a moment to remember she was in a dank gentlemen's club being leered at by a slimy old criminal. She bowed gracefully, trying her best not to shudder in disgust.

"You weren't lying, my dear," Morgoth breathed. "Consider yourself hired. And perhaps I can tempt you to give me a private performance from time to time.

"It would be my pleasure," Luthien lied. "But golly, this is such an honor! We ought to celebrate, don't you think?"

"We certainly should." Morgoth snapped his fingers at the pianist. "Boy! Two brandies, double-quick!"

The pianist- a young fellow with curly dark hair and olive skin-nodded obediently and scurried to the bar, returning with two glasses. Morgoth raised his to Luthien.

"To you, my pretty Nightingale," he said, and drank.

Three...

Two...

One.

Morgoth's dark eyes grew wide and confused, and he let out an undignified burp before slumping to the floor. Luthien sighed with relief as the pianist hurried to her side.

"Nice work," she said. "Where's the real pianist?"

"Out cold behind the dustbins. He'll be fine." Beren glanced down at the unconscious gangster. "What an old pervert," he muttered, shaking his head. "Sorry you had to do that, Lulu."

Luthien, who had been rummaging around in Morgoth's pockets, withdrew her hand with a grin. In it was a tiny silver key. "Don't be too sorry, darlin'. We're halfway there."

[plottwiststudios]

Women of Xal II Kickstarter: Delayed?

Hey, have you heard of the overly ambitious visual novel titled "Women of Xal" for Steam and Itch.io? (PC/Mac/Linux) Because that plays into why we might need to shelf the series for a few years. Full breakdown under the cut. (No spoilers)

For those who have gotten the True Ending, you should be fully aware that the story is about to vastly expand outside of Xuna's castle. It's a narrative must where everything that happens, happens well outside the scope of the original game in so many ways. And let's talk about scope! Especially if you have no idea what's so staggering about the original Women of Xal visual novel:

600+ optional choices we painstakingly programmed

Branching paths that people are still asking for guides on

A dozen romance options

Poly and gay options that interact with one another

Voice acting from now VERY popular voice actors

A 15 hour story full of mystery, lore, and tense politics

110 track soundtrack

4 Endings

Animations

Thousands of art assets (Bless Cat)

Years of hard work and long nights

No AI Art

100% positive reviews as of this post

Recouped $6000+, or roughly a fraction of the cost of development. After 2+ years of being released

Note that very last bullet point. Doing things for the art and passion is amazing and all, but I can't be investing literal thousands of hours into creating a game for a subset of a subset of a subset of people. I have bigger projects I want to finally get to work on. Ones I really hoped Women of Xal I would help a bit with funding. But it's not. And because of certain facts about the game, it may never be able to do so. To no fault of any of the players.

When I made Women of Xal I, my time was more readily available and I was quite a bit younger. The cost of running a company and creating a game like WoX as the first product hadn't quite hit me. I was also silly enough to believe "if you make it, they will come" to a degree. That part makes me grin in a not fun way.

But these days I have a job that takes me away from creating, but does pay the bills and debts. Debts I don't want to get into again in order to create the sequel that will undoubtedly come with far higher costs due to the game's scope. I have a better understanding of the costs of hiring returning and appropriate talent necessary to create a game better than the last. (I don't personally believe in being satisfied with an intentional steep downgrade.)

Yes there is the Kickstarter option for Women of Xal II, but there are plenty of costs and time investment that makes it an unviable avenue to explore during this point in time. After all, who but the people who sat down and explored everything the first game had to offer would understand how we came up with a $50,000 Kickstarter price tag for a visual novel's sequel? Especially since too many will look at the first Kickstarter and believe we made the first game with only $14,000.

I have thought about giving Women of Xal I a modernized facelift with a smaller Kickstarter, complete with a ton of new features and fun ways to streamline and highlight the narration's strong points, but there's a LOT of baggage that comes with that, including not wanting to go backwards when I still want to create my "pipe dream" projects.

So I'm thinking we'll give it a bit more thought these next few days, and if we can't think of a solution that we haven't already tried, we'll officially announce the delay (and before you suggest your own ideas, know that there's a 99% chance we've already tried it).

A long, long post just to say I do sincerely apologize for having people wait longer, but I am literally still a few thousand dollars away from paying off all my debt that came from funding the first game. It's a micro-trauma I do not feel inclined to repeating again. When the franchise is in a better place, or I am emotionally/physically, I will return back to Women of Xal to finish the story. If I cannot, I will release a summary of events that transpire after the first game's true ending.

But for now, I'm going to focus on financial and emotional healing, and creating projects that I feel will be more appreciated by both myself and people who are turned off by what "Women of Xal" offers.

Thank you all for supporting our small company these past several years. <3

-John

[colleendoran]

I did this piece for COZY COMPANIONS some months back, but it just saw publication now. Snowbright Studios publishes family-friendly RPG modules. Here's their website.

That's an Ada Byron Lovelace kitty.

I am still running pretty late on GOOD OMENS for obvious reasons, so there won't be many little side jobs like this for some time, as my focus must be on Aziraphale and Crowley. Which is no hardship, I assure you.

I've already quit other work I had lined up for this year outside of a short story and two covers. I apologize to all my clients and everyone who was hoping to see me on these other projects.

However, I'm not so late on Good Omens it should be a major concern to Kickstarter backers. As of about 5 weeks ago, I got back to my full-time work schedule. I won't be able to make up lost time, but at least I won't slip anymore. And things are going steady.

I had so much trouble returning to my regular work habits I began to despair that I ever would. I am very, very relieved to be able to work again and I am really enjoying it.

I hope you have a great weekend.