#SHOW ME THE FUCKING LOGIC
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spiltcandycoatedpunkblood · 4 months ago
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videos out about Watcher being evil and greedy even like a month to three weeks ago and being happy at their subscribers going down
I swear people don't go this hard on white YouTubers saying racist shit and you're dragging these YouTubers who are 2 POC out of 3 long after making a bad business decision and then apologising and making amends
whilst at the same time supporting white creators doing the exact same thing???
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lord-squiggletits · 9 months ago
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I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.
I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.
The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...
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Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.
I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.
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And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?
It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.
To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.
In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.
Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.
So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.
What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.
Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain#so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash#i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent#what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving#is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt#and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists#so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character#so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of#'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him'#but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid#and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like#the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of#being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths#then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part#and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts#and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine#this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer#and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like#how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil#and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit#like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma#but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel#and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple#bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed#but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal
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sabotourist · 9 months ago
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i feel so much about delta you guys
red vs blue really looked at me and said here is our logic fragment. this is the logic man. he feels logic. he has a strong survival drive. but also he loved york enough to be willing to die with him.
sigma wanted so fucking bad to be human, to be whole, to chase what they came from and what they were. that he totally missed the fact that delta fucking made it. Delta was more than the Logic Fragment. He had his own bonds, his own wants, his own drive because of his relationship with York.
And in his attempt to become whole again, Sigma... completely undermined that. Made delta into the Logic Fragment again. just another fragment, not a person of his own.
do you ever think about how if sigma had slowed down and really tried to work with maine, that maybe things could have gone so so differently?
i think about that.
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cryptocism · 2 months ago
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yoohoo, I just need you to know you've ruined my life✌️ /j but like. finished reading frequency, what three days ago now? and since the moment I put it down, I have been. directionless. listless. I am consumed by, not DESPAIR, because despair is too passionate a word but. dissatisfaction? I miss the life I lived while I was still reading it. which is honestly rather appropriate considering some of the themes in the fic. I miss the person I was when half of my mind existed in the realm of the au. I fear I may never get over it and I may never recover the life I once had before this fic ruined me for all others, but I also cannot bring myself to regret reading it even if I never feel satisfaction again. I have tasted ambrosia, and the bread and wine of men shall forever be ash upon my tongue. pay my therapy bill.
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i know these asks were sent in july but i love them and want to immortalize before they get buried in my inbox
first of all thank you so much!!! frequency has been one of my favourite projects to do over the past couple years i love that ppl are so into this absurdly niche fic. (i cannot pay ur therapy u simply must reread it forever rip (i mean writing it was like 50/50 self-indulgence and catharsis which means maybe reading it does the same thing lmaoo))
second yes! yeah it was Six who changed the timeline. a big old theme, possibly the main theme, of the whole fic is about change and who gets to create it. Six mirrors Thad in the ways that he believes himself unworthy of importance, and that the capacity to create change is inherently barred from him because of who and what he is.
so it was really important that Six was the one to make the choice to try change things - the guy whos entire powerset relies on being as inconsequential as possible. it shatters the original timeline, it results in his death, it causes a lot of very bad ripple effects, but he also saves Nathaniel. who saves Jude. who together both save Thad - who saves Bart and CRAYDL and defeats Three and discovers his own capacity for change in the process.
that was sort of the point of the whole "the spectrum of change is a horizon, not a tower" litany. there's no hierarchy. anybody can go towards it, they just gotta choose where they're going.
Six doesn't really save the day, but by wrenching the prewritten tragedy off its course, he creates the opportunity for Thad & co. to save it themselves.
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ywpd-translations · 8 months ago
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Ride 768: Doubashi attack!!
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Pag 1
1: Orange....
“Less of a hero”? Ah!?
2: Nonsense!!
You've never been a hero to begin with!!
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Pag 2
1: Ha..... Hakogaku!!
Even Hakogaku caught up!!
2: Thick.... thick.....
3: A man like this holds the strongest of powers!!
6: I'm thin compared to him!!
That's not true, Oosumi-kun!!
7: Senpai, is he strong?
The Hakogaku member who last year defeated Sohoku's Kaburagi in the first day's sprint is
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Pag 3
1: him, Doubashi Masakiyo!!
Buah!!
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Pag 4
2: Buah...
So in the end you've decided to run?
3: “Chicken”
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Pag 5
1: We're passing by the sign the signals 5km until the sprint line!!
2: Hakone Academy.....!!
3: Ace sprinter, Doubashi!!
Ugh.....
6: We're at “5km left” until the sprint
7: There's not much left
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Pag 6
1: It won't take more than “10 minutes”!!
2: So you've come, Doubashi!!
It's “san”!!
San!!
How many times have I told you!!
3: Again!!
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Pag 7
1: You want to get revenge against me!!
2: That's how someone who won last year would speak, but you lost against me!!
3: Hahaha, are you being a sore loser?
I'm telling you you're the one who lost!!
4: Whatever, come at me!!
It's not whatever, what are you even thinkin when saying that!!
Are you that self confident
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Pag 8
1: We'll definitely win!!
2: Interesting, buah!! I came here to humble you!!
4: Ugh....
He's different.....!! He's much more dangerous now that he's running rather than when I met him this morning in the tent!!
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Pag 9
1: Hakone Academy's Doubashi!! He's so overwhelmingly intimidating!!
It's like the pressure of a huge raging bull that has its eyes on you!!
2: Just by looking at me he makes me feel like my hands and feet are restrained
Issa fought against someone like him last year!?
4: No!!
5: Calm down
Steady your breathing
6: Swallow your nerves, Danchiku Ryuuhou!!
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Pag 10
1: He moved on his own!!
Everyone is so overpowered by Hakogaku that they're not moving!!
For me, on the contrary
2: It's a chance!!
Nagoya's Komao used the curve and jumped ahead
He plans on going ahead alone!!
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Pag 11
3: The sprint line is 5km from here!!
Horse acceleration!!
I think I can aim for a breakaway victory!!
4: That guy has a reputation for running solo!!
Gallop!!
This is bad!!
5: Doubashi has an incredible pressure!? But isn't this kind of things
6: just fears that we create ourselves!?
7: I can keep going like this!!
Doubashi isn't worth fearing!!
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Pag 13
1: Where are you going?
3: Uaaaaaaagh
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Pag 14
1: I thought I was 200m ahead of him, and yet
2: I could have let you go freely, but if you keep wandering around in front of my eyes like that
3: I can't win comfortably!!
Wa-
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Pag 15
1: Hakogaku's Doubashi accelerated in an instant and passed Nagoya!!
Gallop!!
2: Together with Sohoku!!
3: Ah!? “Sohoku”!? Tch!! He reacted at the same time as me...?
4: You're the only one who can react at the same speed as me in this leading pack
Orange!!
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Pag 16
2: Chicken!!
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Pag 17
2: Orange is still behind!?
3: Did he give an order to this guy?
4: And he still managed to keep up with my speed of reaction!?
6: What, this guy's eyes, this running
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Pag 18
1: What happened, your expression has changed!!
So this guy wasn't a chicken!!
2: Sorry, Doubashi-san
We'll take this sprint
3: The two of us!!
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Pag 19
1: Garuaagh
2: After stopping Nagoya down, Sohoku number 5 jumped out from there
3: and attacked again!!
Tch
4: Hahaha
I told you!!
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Pag 20
1: “We'll definitely win”!!
2: Orange!!
Hahaha, what we're aiming for is to be
3: “Japan's number one”!!
4: I'll make you Japan number two!!
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thesorrowoflizards · 10 days ago
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SORRY this is so fucking funny. van is like oh, my crush likes another guy. that really fucking sucks because i kinda thought she liked me? god. and then she invites him over and tackles him onto her couch.
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saturnsorbits · 1 year ago
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Hot and heavy sex with FuckBoy!Sero that slowly turns into the slow, deep, hand-holding, forehead to forehead, can’t look away as you feed off of each others moans sex… Please and thank you.
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princsstwilightsparkl · 9 months ago
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saying "if aroace people can date, then can lesbians date men?" is absolutely aphobic narrative btw!
#sorry just have to say this lol#so tired of people generalizing all aroace people as romance averse#its absolutely erasure of the rest of the spectrum#the top tweet isnt so bad depending on who theyre talking about#if a character ACTUALLY is canonically romance/sex aversed then yea its weird to erase that#but if they're canonically AROACE and you go 'erm that character cannot date or have sex🤓☝️' ur being aphobic as fuck#the 'shown no attraction to anyone' part kind of throws me off there#i hate when people say 'well this character didnt have feelings for anyone in the one year time span of the show so theyre romance aversed-#and nobody can ship them or else i'll harass u and subtweet u!1!!'#like. a characters life may not involve sex or romance at all fucking times. that does not make them aroace.#ur headcanon- even if you think its based on a logical conclusion- is not reality#sometimes yall just be making shit tf up#complaining about 'fanon' as if ur not the one pretending ur hc is real and treating everyone else like theyre the bad ones#but if that tweet is just saying that IN ADDITION to theyre canon identity then yea. thats valid.#their* </3#obviously the reply is fucking disgusting#i couldnt reply directly cuz my twitter is priv#people will say this kind of shit to ME- AN AROACE PERSON#u preach about aro/ace erasure but when an actual aroace walks in you tell them their way of being aroace is wrong#not everyone is the fucking same.#non-partnering aroaces deserve more rep but telling partnering aroaces that their way of being aroace is wrong is genuinely horrific#like actually fuck u#aromantic#asexual#aroace#arospec#meowing (yapping)
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ebonytails · 4 months ago
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sorry my post is just to complain but guys i literally hate adobe after effects. i can not explain to you the mental torture and how LOW it has brought my mental health because I *need* to use it for my post production class because it's "industry standard". ADOBE After Effects has made me write off the entire film and video production industry as a turn off and I never want to do it ever again.
The amount of times this has crashed on me where I lost everything? 5+ hours of work? 8+ hours of work? It's my fault for not saving sometimes but I also have auto-save on. it didn't save anything so im just left with nothing.
You want a trip to burn out town really quick? Use adobe after effects in an academic setting where you have no choice but to use this program.
I have never in my life TOUCHED a program SO TERRIBLE that it made me never want to do anything about that form of art/media EVER AGAIN
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starjunkyard · 7 months ago
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"Im not even sure anymore if we get to choose who our friends are" There is a part of me that resents you for making me a worse person than i want to be but i am inexplicably uncontrollably drawn to you. You make me a worse person which is the last thing i want yet i want you in every way. If i could leave i would. Maybe i can but i dont want to. I have fun with you. You challenge me and you captivate me and you push me and pull and run circles around me and it makes me feel like a younger man. For the price of being a worse person i get to feel truly, wholly alive. You are the blood that runs through my veins; vital, inseparable. I was reborn when i met you and you are the womb that haunts me. You are the one person on planet earth who knows me. I wish i could leave, move on and be the man im supposed to be but my heart is tied to yours in a gordian knot. There is a part of my soul that rests in yours, magnetic. For as long as i love you i cannot be better than i am. But maybe thats something i can learn to live with. Gregory House-- I think you're worth it.
#house md#james wilson#gregory house#hilson#johan being crazy about yaoi md#johan's mindpalace#Im crazy#like im tearing up#this scene is so romantic it genuinely makes me nauseous#the lowlight setting the lingering stares the soft little smile a dam thats finally broken#I need a 12 gauge bullet in the thigh#Please watch this scene screencaps do not do it near enough justice#do you know whats so genuinely actually sickening#its been months since i finished house md#and i have not watched a single show that has managed to fill even a quarter of the gaping bleeding hilson shaped hole in my heart#shows that have actual gay people actual representation and not a single one has managed to alter my brain chemistry the way hilson has#since day 1 episode 1#Like its actually nauseating a little its so over for me for the rest of my life#Like im actually never recovering#people say “they dont make xyz like they used to haha” But Guys they Genuinely dont#Im going through withdrawls#I need my yaoi cocaine so bad but my plug died 12 years ago and i cant fucking Move#House md capital of fatphobia homophobia transphobia early 2000s edgy humour outshining modern shows with actual rep like im sick#Its not even because i want to like i feel like there are worms in my brain. I feel like ratatoullie if the rat was evil#This is not what the stonewall riots were for#I feel like so nausous why couldnt i be crazy about an actual gay pairing like a normal gay person. Im gonna throwup#Why couldnt i like music and girls#Its not even that house md is objectively logically better than these shows like no. Im just crazy#Im so sick they make me so sick i feel like there are worms in my head. My head#Dont know when i will ever be onorlmal again. Sorr
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chirp-featherfowl · 2 months ago
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dawn of creation
(OHHHHHH MY GOD TUMBLR CRUSHED MY ART AGAIN. CLICK FOR HIGHER QUALITY. HOLY SHIT)
little logan under the cut because of course he wasn't there for it
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vnknowcrow · 7 months ago
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I'm so sorry y'all, maybe I missed something, some type of scene, something somewhere but I have no fucking clue how you can get lucyXcooper out of this show.
I truly don't gaf about rarepairs or enemies to lovers or shipping just cause you like how they look together or just cause it's fucked up but like genuinely saying they had good romance chemistry (better then Lucy and max even???) Is genuinely mind boggling to me.
Ship what you want, just don't lie to me?
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queerdiazs · 1 year ago
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wip wednesday, mwah
hi, friends 🫶🏼 pls have a very late, semi-horny snippet from my 5+1(+1) fic
Shutting his eyes, Eddie tucks his face in the hollow of Buck’s throat and breathes in Buck’s sweaty, sleepy-soft scent. He hooks one of Buck’s legs in the bend of his arm, reaches down to grip the base of his length, and rubs the head of his cock against Buck’s slick, swollen hole before shoving all the way inside in one go.  Buck takes him easily, eagerly, wet and warm and fingered loose enough Eddie could’ve fit his whole fist if he tried. He arches up with a pretty sigh that hangs in his throat, raking his fingers through Eddie’s hair and grabbing tight to bring Eddie’s mouth down to his.  The kiss is dirty, deep and wet and messy. Eddie frames Buck’s face with his elbows, sucks on Buck’s tongue like it’s his lifeline, and Buck gives over a rush of perfect mewls that make Eddie’s tummy boil.  Fuzzy yellow light filters through the tall windows of their bedroom, warming Eddie’s back and ass and legs. He shivers, comfortable and held tight, held close, wrapped all up in Buck he’s not sure where either one of them begins and ends. Smiling, Eddie pulls away from Buck’s dirty kiss. “Hey, pretty boy,” he whispers softly, licking away the string of spit stretching between their mouths. Buck’s so cute when he’s full of cock, cross-eyed and slack-jawed and a little stupid with pleasure, like he’s good for nothing else except getting fucked. He shifts his hips back and fucks forward, hard, just to watch the way Buck’s lips part on a sigh of his name.  A little grin stretches across Buck’s lips because he knows how perfect he looks when he’s taking it. “Don’t have to flatter me,” he says, looping his arms around Eddie’s shoulders. “I’m a sure thing.”  “Asshole.” Eddie laughs, leaning into Buck’s touch. He’s warmer than the morning sunshine on his back. “You piss me off so much.”  “And yet you can’t keep your dick out of me.”  Eddie nuzzles along Buck’s cheek, across his chin and up, till he can kiss the tip of Buck’s nose. “Keep it up,” he says, pinching the back of Buck’s fat thigh, “and I’ll withhold my dick for a whole month.”  “Liar. You can’t resist me.”  “I can so resist you.”  Buck snorts, rolls his eyes, and pulls Eddie back down for a giggly, goofy kiss. 
it's so late so, but i was tagged by @watchyourbuck, @jesuisici33, @wildlife4life, @wikiangela, @exhuastedpigeon, @eddiebabygirldiaz, @try-set-me-on-fire, @honestlydarkprincess, @loserdiaz, @callmenewbie, @daffi-990, and @ladydorian05 🫶🏼
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savage-rhi · 4 months ago
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Magenta 😥
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musubiki · 1 year ago
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i might have mentioned this sometime before but ive been thinking about it again: the reason why lime doesnt ask mochi out and vice versa for a while
Some time after mochi becomes a witch and lime has been in her guild, also after he becomes PAINFULLY aware of how he feels about her, theres a moment where he has a conversation with her (casual-like) fishing about how she would feel about getting a boyfriend. as long as hes known her, shes never gone on a date with anyone, no ones asked her out, and shes never mentioned having a crush on anyone to him. so during some conversation about something or another, he asks something along the lines of "Well when you get a boyfriend, he's gonna need to be okay with your weird witchiness I guess haha-- (lowkey interest check)"
and his plan here was IF she answers to some extent that she would like a boyfriend, he would ask her out. but instead she kinda smiles a bit and falls quiet, before responding "If I could have one..."
and when he asks what the hell that even means, she tells him the same thing pom and tiramisu told her when she first became a witch: "This isn't just some happy fun times, willy=nilly side hobby you treat carelessly. Your family legacy and more importantly, your life, are both constantly at risk and you need to always be focused on learning and mastering your magic as it grows. To that end, you don't have time to date and be in a relationship-- it'll only be a distraction to you and a weakness that can be exploited. You'll constantly be split between your magic and your partner. Either you won't be fully committed to your studies to spend time with them, or you won't be fully committed to them because of your studies. It's not a luxury you can afford. Until this is complete and you have full mastery of your magic to the point where you're not constantly in a state where you need to fight for your life, having a boyfriend is advised against."
and lime just kinda stays quiet for a bit, before going "...so no boyfriend until the magic shit is all done..."
and in his head hes thinking yeah, fine, that makes sense. I dont want to be a burden to her or distract her, and I dont want to cause more stress for her because pom is like an asian mom that constantly will remind her about what a bad decision it is. and this ALL hinges on the event that she wants to date him and it doesnt ruin their friendship. so he eventually decides fine. ill hold off on it for now, just be there for her however i can and i'll ask her out when this whole thing is done (and in the meantime, maybe i can gauge how much she likes me if at all, and if not i can try to get her to fall for me)
(worth noting he WANTS to ask her out right before the timeskip happens, something like "Hey we should go get ice cream tomorrow-- you know, to celebrate your magic reaching its full power and all." (where he was gonna ask her out for real), and she smiles and says "Sure!", but pom already told her she was leaving that night, and by the next morning shes gone)
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figofswords · 10 months ago
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anybody remember the stephanie brown essay I was working on under a research grant fully last summer? yeah it’s not done yet it super needs to be done and I’ve been avoiding working on it for weeks. someone tell me to just do it already
#the problem is. actually there are several problems#1) I’ve been out of the Batman/dc comics phase for almost a year so I don’t care that much about the topic#2) I am fifteen pages in and have not touched it in months so I’ve completely lost my train of thought#3) I can’t just reread it because I hate first five pages or so and I know I need to change it but I was trying to finish before editing#so now my only solution is I need to open up a new doc and completely restructure the whole thing by splicing together the existing writing#so that I can figure out where the hell im going with this and make sure things fit together better#unfortunately that sounds fucking exhausting#but I told my mentor I would have an update for him by the end of the week and. well. it’s the end of the week#I have to present it in April. I have to write and submit an abstract in March#the school gave me $1500 for this stupid essay and if I don’t have anything to show for myself.#well. I don’t know they can’t take the money BACK but it’s not a good look#and also I would feel bad#I did the research!!! i interviewed comic writers even!!! I just haven’t finished WRITING IT DOWN#and I KNOOOOWW once I get started it’ll be fine once I’m going I’m going#but STARTING is hard because I feel like I have to finish it in one go which makes it so huge and daunting#I’m like. slamming my head into a wall. just write a couple sentences Jess something is better than nothing#just start it you don’t have to finish just START just MAKE the new DOC#I know!!!!! that is what my therapist would say!!!! Jess you’re trying to oneshot it bc of your dumb adhd brain!!!!#stop looking at it like that and making it scarier!!!#but even tho I know that logically I’m still like oh I should put away the dishes o should make bread#I should work on my six different art pieces I should do laundry i should play with the puppy I should go for a walk I sh
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