#about maintaining boundaries
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
Magenta 😥
#imposter syndrome is bad today#anyone have tips or words of encouragement?#i got triggered by the scores on the platform#im at a 96 which isn't bad that's actually pretty fucking good#i need to stay above 85% to keep my contract#but i checked to see what areas that dipped and one of them I'm kinda going wtf?#about maintaining boundaries#im really huge on that shit and always let people know if they get uncomfortable with a topic subject or need to change the convo#we absolutely can always do that#so im kinda sitting here going “Okay where can i improve? where is this coming from? were they having a bad day? did i say something off?”#i know too you can't appease everyone and there are some clients that just won't like you for whatever reason and will answer the surveys to#dip your scores cause of resentment#logically i know these are things#im struggling with not having closure cause if i am doing anything wrong i want to correct that and i want to be told what it is#cause i can't change unless im given some direction#my mentor encouraged me to be myself show up authentic and I've been doing that#seeing the dip is making me second guess everything#and i know i shouldn't be upset cause again im at a 96 fucking percent!#but man I'm just kicking my own ass#magenta#magenta is my vent word
15 notes
·
View notes
Text
turns out if u go to write a story whats premise is "what if there was a PERFECT WORLD and you STILL DIDNT FEEL LIKE YOU FIT IN" and you have any semblance of knowledge of history or any self awareness you will soon realize you can't just.. create a perfect world.. you cant even really create a world that is ideal for YOU. cuz as long as people act like people someone will fall to the sidelines. and then the story becomes about marginalization and queerness and disability againnnn
#nnstuff#rambling#loose stitches related#for the record that was the original premise of loose stitches that i made when i was like 13#unfortunately world builders disease and a passing interest in history means i am incapable of ever creating something#and calling it an unequivocal utopia#cuz if u ask 'what about x of person?'#or 'are there any people who fall outside of these set boundaries'? then it all comes crumbling down#as having to be pretty damn fascist or otherwise horrific to maintain is current Perfect State#so i'll settle for a pretty ok world instead
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
more characters who are technically from T$$ (lore under the cut)
So Lis/Lisbet (more commonly known as "Lu", her codename) was one of Vic's first victims when he started working on his own. At the time, Lu was a secretary at a law firm. Unbeknownst to her, her bosses owed money to a local mob boss, and Vic was hired to "apply pressure". By pure coincidence, Lu was the unlucky target. Her torture was recorded and sent to the firm, and it was roughly three weeks before the money was coughed up and she was released.
Her captivity resulted in the loss of her right hand and most of her left leg, and a pregnancy. With Lu not being in a healthy emotional or mental place, the baby was raised by Lu's sister and her husband. Meanwhile, Lu decided she was sick of feeling like a victim and began devoting her time to training, getting physically stronger, and hunting down Victor Shepard.
While her family was very supportive for the first few years of her recovery, most of them were horrified by her desire for revenge. Despite being raised in a close-knit Catholic family and being religious herself, Lu quickly became disgusted at her family's urging to forgive Vic and move on. The only relative who didn't shy away was her cousin Adrien (also known by his codename, "Uriel")
The two were close as children, and Adrien wanted revenge for Lu as much as she did. He not only listened to Lu's violent fantasies, but encouraged them, offering ideas of his own. As a former Marine, he had training to back him up, and helped Lu on her own journey, swiftly becoming her second in command and the most trusted person in her life.
Through the years, Lu tried to maintain routine visitation with her child, but the visits always felt strained, and gradually her goal took over and she came over less and less.
Years later, Lu's son (then going by Leo) sought her out. His aunt had warned him that Lu was going down a dark path, but he was desperate to form some kind of connection with her. He knew the basics of what had happened to his mother, but at her own request, he'd always been told that his father had passed away before his birth. Lu welcomed him aboard, finding it easier to foster a connection when he could be viewed as a soldier and not her son. When he came of age, she welcomed him into her group officially, granting him the codename Gabriel.
Though Vic is her target, Lu and her angels also chase after people like him, capturing and killing them in the name of avenging those who have been lost or had their lives destroyed.
In canon, Lu briefly captures Vic, but he escapes before she can do any real damage. However, in this AU, she manages to contain him, and gets the revenge she's sought for so long.
#lu does love Gabriel but she's very focused on her goal and her emotions are very tamped down#she cares but they need healthy boundaries#meanwhile his tio and tia have always supported him and went to bat against the Catholic church when he came out as trans#he's so focused on being accepted by his mother but once she does he realizes they're the ones who've always had his back#he maintains a relationship with lu that does get healthier over time#but stops obsessing over her approval/acceptance#t$$ lu#t$$ Gabriel#SO vic is a huge POS but he can be fun to explore. he had a VERY messy 3-4 years after his mentor's death and was kind of lost#spiralling and self destructive and taking shady jobs like this and even though he has no remorse about it he still hated it#his most sketchy and inexcusable acts (aside from taking ander) happened here. because he was willing and needed the money#well. i say he has no remorse but it definitely affected him. but then he just pushed that all down and kept going so. still bad lol#vic just being shitty all the time fr fr#tag lore#implied noncon#torture#whump#angst
20 notes
·
View notes
Note
On that trojan war au thing you're writing. 1. What are the tags for it, cause I'm super interested! And would love to read what you have so far! 2. "And Odysseus is a much grimmer darker man due to his home being one of the places that were first swallowed up by Erebus" - I wanna know more about this. Please tell me more.
Oh , wow, I'm so flattered! I'm very happy it sounds appealing to you <33 This work is a huge passion project of mine so I'm always glad to talk more and more about it, especially since there are many aspects occurring in the background (such as the alternate fates of the main players of the Trojan Conflict) which I cannot properly cover or even explain within the events of the novel itself.
That said: 1) If you mean tags as in ao3 - unfortunately, this work isn't on ao3 my friend :( As I said above, these are elements and concepts in the greek mythology based-fantasy novel I'm currently writing (the concept of which I outlined here in the introductory post of my novel concept!) As for wanting to read whatever writing I currently have available: I currently have three fics available on ao3 that are written in my Pursuing Daybreak verse!
The Prince and Princess series deal with a young Apollo and Artemis and the many consequences they face after Apollo has slain Python. The two works uploaded right now are Exeunt Phoebus Apollo which covers the murder trial of Python and Manent Apanchomene Artemis which covers the intense feelings of helplessness and alienation Artemis experiences after Apollo returns from his banishment and is completely changed. Both of these have themes of family, grief and relationship exploration at their heart.
The third bit of writing I have up is quite outdated but does cover the immediate aftermath of Hyacinthus' death. It's called A Petal Falleth and features Apollo making one of those Big Silly Decisions that have completely unintended but extremely important consequences: namely, instead of the larkspurs being made of Hyacinthus' spilt blood, Apollo anchors the boy's soul to the flowers so Thanatos wouldn't take him. Like the Dawn is also set in this world but because it is nsfw in nature, I wouldn't recommend it as easily as the other three bits of writing. If you don't mind the whole naked men thing though, I'd definitely suggest reading Like the Dawn for a better idea of what my current writing is like (along with eventually getting to see characters like Hector, Andromache and Cassandra/Helenus) Like the Dawn's themes are also different to the other three works with it focusing more on the power dynamics of a god/mortal relationship, exploring masculinity and masculine sexuality and self discovery.
The running theme here, of course, is that all of these bits of writing are centered on Apollo/Artemis or Hyacinth because my novel itself is centered around them. There are, of course, other important characters and figures like Eros, Psyche, Penthesilea and Iaso (one of Asclepius' daughters) but while there is the definite presence of characters from the Trojan War they most certainly aren't at the center of the novel (and the ones that are aren't the Greeks but rather the Trojans i.e Hector, Alexander, Andromache, Cassandra, Helenus, Aeneas, so on and so forth.)
2) The basis of the apocalypse in my work is cosmological! Due to Apollo's err-- untimely departure, there's no longer anyone maintaining the axis of the heavens or the navel of the earth. Because of this, Erebus - whose darkness is usually kept firmly in the spaces between the realms - begins to spill out into both the heavens and the earth. The beasts of Erebus (referring primarily to the Seven Curses - Old Age, Misery, Deceit, Violence etc etc) consume, torment and destroy whatever is inside of Erebus' darkness and Ithaca, as one of the islands on the far edge of the world, was one of the very first places that were devoured in this manner. Odysseus was visiting the Argives at the time for a festival and had left the pregnant Penelope at home since he didn't want her to suffer through the voyage in discomfort. He only finds out about the destruction of Ithaca after it had already been consumed when Athena personally interrupts a feast to warn both him and Diomedes. Needless to say, Odysseus, like everyone else, assumes that everyone on Ithaca has died and thusly is a very, very different man in terms of humour and comport. A part of him still stubbornly clings to the belief that Penelope managed to escape - that she was smart and resourceful enough to see the end approaching and do her best to escape - but that doesn't stop him from being dour for the majority of the time. Diomedes does his best to keep his spirits up in the meantime. Without him around, Odysseus is something of a black hole when it comes to the oppressiveness of his discontent though he does manage to lighten up when in the company of Helen, Clytemnestra and even Menelaus on occasion.
#ginger answers asks#ginger chats about greek myths#Diomedes did a lot to coax Odysseus out of his initial shock when Athena delivered the news#Pretty much the only thing that stuck was Ody getting into the habit of whittling wooden horses and ships#He used to speak to Penelope's stomach and tell a bunch of stories about his youth and adventures#Now he speaks to himself while he's whittling because it makes him feel like he's still speaking to Telemachus#Ody doesn't grieve Penelope at all btw He refuses to behave like she's dead until the gods personally tell him or he sees a body#DIomedes very much thinks it's unhealthy and is very worried for his bestie but he's very deliberately left that topic for Helen#and Clytemnestra to deal with. Like he punches things he can't really do that for Ody's mental health alas#pursuing daybreak posting#The Seven Curses all have names btw#And Erebus isn't really doing anything malevolently either#The gods carved the world sky and ocean out of the darkness - it's their responsibility to maintain it#Of course Nyx and Himera originally held the job of keeping Erebus' darkness at bay#But that power is one that's been broken up and passed down between the generations to prevent precisely this event from happening#Nyx's Night and Himera's Day was first given to Ouranos so he could govern the boundary between the world and the darkness without fail#Ouranos' daughters received Night - specifically Theia and Phoebe#and his sons received Day - namely Hyperion and Coeus#Apollo - ever the overachiever however - ends up being overwhelmingly endowed with these attributes and then some considering#he also gets Delphi - the center of the earth - when he slays Python#So when he errr left to get some milk so to speak - the entire order of things went with him#The remaining balance-keepers are Hecate and Artemis and both of them are Night which is too close to Erebus anyway#So y'know things aren't good like at all LMFAO#Anyway I talked a lot - thank you very much again for asking!! If you have any more questions let me know :D#ginger rambles#odysseus#apollo#erebus#diomedes#greek mythology
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hate to start the day doing this, but some reminders for boundaries:
Please do not share with me or on my posts details about your mental health, about your experiences with BDSM, or excessive personal information. We do not know each other, and this is a place to talk about fictional characters. People are welcome to discuss kinks here surrounding Shigadabi because that is what my writing is dedicated to, but please do not share personal information that I haven't asked for or consented to learning about.
Please do not use my blog or stories as a source for education. I am writing about fictionalized settings in which the things depicted will never be fully accurate or true to life. Taking advice from my writing, ESPECIALLY when it comes to entering a BDSM dynamic, can be dangerous for you and your partner(s). Please find actual educational resources to ensure your safety before you proceed. Even when I do talk about my own research, I do not do so with the amount of detail and specificity to be a reliable source of education. If you have sources like this, please do not share them through my blog, as this creates mixed signals about the content that is posted here.
If you are uncomfortable with dark material such as sexual assault, rape, all forms of abuse, physical and mental torture, involuntary body modification, etc., and the possible romanticization of these topics, then it is in your best interest to leave my blog. I do enjoy writing and discussing dark topics because I find them to be interesting avenues for storytelling. When I write a full story, I tag this content appropriately, and I do not owe anyone an explanation over why I choose to engage with these these or justify why they appear in my writing. It's fine if these are topics that you do not want to engage with or that you find morally reprehensible. If that is the case, then leaving/unfollowing/blocking me are all appropriate ways to avoid seeing this kind of content in the future. Anything else, such as belittling myself or others on my posts, sending comments or DMs that ridicule or demand an explanation for my writing of these topics, or messages that convey your disapproval and tell me that you won't be engaging with a story because of a topic, are not appropriate and will have you permanently blocked from my blog. You are welcome to your boundaries and criticism, but I do not have to be a place that hosts it.
Please do not recommend fanfics to me. As I've talked about before, once I'm in deep for a fandom or ship, I stop reading any other writing about the ship. I do this specifically because I don't want to take the ideas, intentionally or unintentionally, from other writers, so I am never going to read a recommendation. I'm so glad that you have other writers and stories that bring you joy, and you should absolutely post about those stories either directly talking to the writer in the form of comments/asks, or create a recommendations list so that you can share that joy with other people as well! But my blog isn't a suitable place for it.
My goal here is to share what I love (kinky Shigadabi fanfic with a heaping dollop of introspection) and hopefully provide some fun for those of you who have chosen to join me! If at any point my content no longer makes you happy or causes you joy to engage with, you owe me absolutely nothing, and you should pursue that joy elsewhere! You will not hurt my feelings for doing so because we don't know each other!
I want to add that, overall, the community that is forming here has been incredibly kind, supportive, and respectful, and that logging on and answering asks or talking about the latest brain worm that's been chewing holes in our heads has been a consistent highlight of my life for many months now. Thank you to all of you who have been making this a joyful place to share kinky Shigadabi content 🩵
#tanco speaks#just a quick check-in to reestablish some boundaries#everything is okay at the moment#but ive noticed some behaviors over the last week that i want nipped in the bud#and also please do not try to confront others about these things maintaining my blog is my responsibility not yours!#please respect my ability to ensure my own boundaries 🩵
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
Yknow I think one of the saddest parts about Malorn being a professor is that his social circle in particular must have taken a hit. Idk if he had any homies before his promotion but with that Teacher and Student relationship having to be almost strictly professional, I can't imagine it would be smiled upon to have Malorn acting buddy buddy with some of his peers anymore. And like that's really sad that one of the many aspects of his childhood is essentially taken from him because he's in this awkward spot of mentally, physically, and emotionally at par with his students but has to be different than that in order to be their teacher
Like imagine how lonely that is bro. He can't be a kid with his students anymore but he's not an adult that can necessarily relate to other adults either so he's just in this separate space all by himself because there are no others like him (except The Wizard who has at least some similarities)
Thinking about how Malorn's former friends just slowly drifting away from him not because they hate him, but because they have to regard him as a teacher FIRST above all else is super sad and once again I'm crying for Malorn in the evening
#im sure its not as severe as i make it sound LOL#like im sure malorn still has some moments with the people he cares about#and who knows??? maybe people give him a pass with being youthful with his friends and other students#but its got to be at least a little awkward imo#malorn has to be someone else in a certain setting. in his class or tutoring he cant be just a friend or a classmate#in order to be a good teacher he needs to be exactly that. a teacher#like theres a reason why a lot of them say ''im not here to be your friend''#and imagine how that hurts malorn on the inside to say that to people his own age. to people who actually were his friends#like on days off sure maybe!!! graduated students sure!! but to a certain extent#malorns position as a professor unfortunately has to come first at leats in terms of his students-#-so that means maintaining that mature tutor aura at all times. not just when its appropriate#because it could be confusing and muddle boundaries if he just switches his teacher personality on and off just whenever#im crying for him. i always am.#malorn ashthorn i love you a lot#stay fresh. stay crispy.#wizard101#w101#wiz101#malorn ashthorn
49 notes
·
View notes
Text
Kaeya deffo loves possessive partners, send tweet-
#hc; kaeya#//P sure I wrote smth like this before; but can't find it kjdxngdgh#//But ye#//Genuinely gets weak-kneed for real possessive partners; be it the kind who scare off ppl getting a lil TOO close to him#//Or the kind to mark him up/give him gifts to wear to show he's theirs#//It's like crack cocaine to him jknfkfth#//He draws the line at ppl getting hurt on his account (if they didn't mean any harm/show actual interest in him)#//But he won't actually make any moves to stop any fights if he genuinely thinks it's called for otherwise#//Before getting together with his partner; he deffo has his moments of deliberately setting off their jealousy/possessiveness#//Juuust bc he loves to see it. But also bc he genuinely can't believed he's cared abt that much#//In a relationship; he deffo reins himself back a LOT#//Has no problems with their possessiveness carrying over into their relationship#//Again; as long as it doesn't border on irrational to the extent of his other loved ones/innocent ppl getting hurt; he's cool with it#//It's just that feeling of his partner being obsessed with him with ABSOLUTE certainty he's the only one in their eyes that gets him#//It's not soft and pure; so he doesn't balk at it as much as he would typical tender and sweet love#//It's deffo overwhelming and would scare him at first; but seeing how serious they are would make him cave SO fast#//In an ideal world; he gets a lover with that duality down PAT#//Person who is genuinely a sweetheart that treats him right; with a possessive streak a mile wide#//Kae's more than confident he can handle them if he needs to draw attention to them crossing any lines#//And would likewise trust them to back off when he needs them too#//Bc he would deffo have the intention to reward them for following through with either boundary scenario#//Oke; back to writings#//Another reason why he is so accepting/welcoming of possessive partners is bc he himself V possessive of his beloved#//But HELLA holds back#//Would 100% match energy/possessiveness the INSTANT he's aware of it#//Albeit with slightly different methods to go about showing it; he DOES have a reputation to maintain after all
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#but actually can you guys say a prayer about teaching for me?#I know it’s mostly because it’s the end of the year#but a lot of stuff is just forcing its way to the surface#and basically it’s just me struggling with my natural strengths as a teacher and the boundaries of appropriateness that are necessary#to maintain it#like first of all. the beast that is my anxiety compounds everything and makes it so scary and terrible#secondly I thought I had. Like. A total handle on all of it#Teaching and boundaries I mean#and of course I do not#and part of it is that the anxiety that always kept me within the right lines is just shifting and changing#and I’m just distanced from some of the stuff that used to keep me grounded#like my family right now!#the new adulthood is adulting!#anyway like. I am not doing anything inappropriate or close to it (sounds like I am when I deny it lol)#but I am aware in a new and newly exhausted way of the absolute dangers#of being the kind of teacher who uses all of my personality etc. to wake kids up#And make them respond#but then still have to want to need to keep certain boundaries up#And I’m trying to figure it out but of course I CAN’t Do it perfectly#and then it’s so hard when your personal life is so hard and you’ve just gone through so much change in such a fast period of time#And it just feels like everything is spinning#and your heart aches and you’re tired and you just feel like you’re right at the center of all this emotional chaos#and all these people who wanna pull you off course and get you to cross certain lines#and some of the lines are just weird and arbitrary boundaries you put up to protect yourself when you started teaching at 23#Because you HAD to#So you can take some of them down and it’s fine but then there are some boundaries you know you need to keep up#And it’s more subtle than the black and white stuff re: appropriateness#Just the stuff that protects you and makes it easier to be the kind of teacher and influence that you want to be#and just trying to figure it all out while you’re exhausted and it’s the end of the school year#it’s just a LOT. A lot a lot
40 notes
·
View notes
Text
Should I force myself to talk to women on hinge
#I do not want to#but I am also actively trying to overwrite unrequited attraction that is actually making me ill#so like. idk.#would that count as exposure therapy in this context?#I was introduced to the concept of limerence and I feel a lot more normal about it#not in the sense of ‘I am okay now’#but in the sense of ‘this is a shared and recognized phenomenon that acknowledges the compulsive nature of it#and suggests that it may come from a similar neurological place/process/imbalance as OCD#so instead of well meaning people who don’t grasp how overwhelming these feelings are telling me to just try to date other people#I at least have the validation of ‘you are not crazy because other people have experienced this kind of debilitating intensity too’#and the suggestions for coping with and overcoming limerence include CBT/DBT#which is a lot more structured and helpful than my friends giving me well intentioned advice for something they don’t really understand#like I cannot tell you how much relief this has brought me#I don’t just have a crush on a straight woman and can’t get over it i literally have these non stop intrusive thoughts about her#coupled with the constant mental noise of i know she isn’t interested and i need to be respectful and maintain boundaries#it has literally made me feel like I’m losing my mind or some kind of stalker#but a mental stalker#anyway it has been incredibly unpleasant and upsetting and now I’m focusing on consciously stopping and countering those thoughts#and approaching it the same way as my other intrusive thoughts#also note: I tried to make an appointment with my therapist but she is overbooked and if this does not yield change I might spiral again
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the way some people talk/post about their therapists oh my god. like i know many of them are probably exaggerating their stories, and a lot of technically """unethical""" stuff can be perfectly fine in the right context, but im sure there are still a lot of people who think being friends with your therapist is normal or okay or in any way helpful. and tbh seeing enough posts that reinforce that impression might just prevent someone from recognizing a boundary violation when it happens to them
#and to be clear the responsibility#not to cross ethical boundaries#lies with the therapist#even if you like them a lot#they should be the one discouraging you#so the argument that your therapist thinks its fine#isn't necessarily a good one#honestly maintaining a good balance between personal trust and professional distance#is probably the hardest part of their job#by far#but it is part of their job#theres a reason why ethical codes exist#obviously a lot of it depends on one's cultural background and the broader context but#generally speaking#a therapist shouldn't be overly affectionate#they shouldn't be touching you#other than maybe a handshake as a greeting#and tbh you shouldn't know a whole lot about them#self disclosure is a subject of debate afaik because it can be helpful under certain circumstances#or put differently it can be negative when the whole no self disclosure rule is enforced too strictly#and all of that is meant to help the therapy's success#but it also means that there's an inherent power imbalance#that does not translate well into a friendship#so its not just that is unethical and against professional codes of conduct#its also just a very bad idea#&
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i hate violet sorrengail so much rn its unreal and this is coming from someone who loves evil women
#its just how her character is framed like the author clearly thinks she's right and wants readers to be on her side#even though she's a nightmare human being who feels entitled to private information about people and ignores boundaries while also#expecting everyone else to do the emotional heavy lifting to maintain relationships#xaden please dump her king you can do so much better you deserve someone who is actually willing to meet you in the middle to communicate#and wont just bulldoze all youre boundaries and ignore the clear communication rules you set#this is driving me crazy violet is goinng in the soup im turning her into soup
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
i saw an author say that you shouldn't have to take abuse and harassment sitting down under the fear that a reader will refuse to support your works. i agree with that in theory if i thought that was the worst thing that would ever happen due to being outspoken. i was proven there are far worse things thanks to sfarda. but in general i've been coming increasingly lax about speaking up on things if i don't think my opinion needs to be heard. i think i've made it clear on what my stance is on things and now i have people i can share these views with i don't need to go out of my way to speak to others about it.
#from my writing desk#there's just something peaceful about unfollowing/blocking/muting#conserving your energy#maintaining strong boundaries with others
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i think its actually very significant how straight men are obsessed with lesbians vs bi women. the male gaze when it comes to sexuality between women is generally obsessed with feeling like its taking something that women didn’t want it to have. at the same time as they constantly try to push men on lesbians, they erase bi women’s autonomy in choosing to have sex with men. if it was just about wanting to have sex with two women, there are bi women who would enjoy sharing that experience with them as equals, but instead they’re obsessed with trying to ‘lure’ in lesbians, or at least trick a bi woman who thought she was hooking up with just a woman. porn where the actresses are both bi and are choosing to create entertainment for a male audience becomes fly-on-the-wall ‘lesbian porn’. men will talk about an experience with a bi woman who has always openly liked men as if they ‘turned a lesbian’. their bi partners are ‘lesbians with an exception’. if she’s someone who usually prefers women it’s a trophy and not just her enjoying multiple things. it’s all about trying to remove women’s autonomy from desire. 👍
#like you can compare how like fujoshis or whoever generally never insert themselves into a situation#i dont think that thinking a woman kissing another woman is hot is a crime. i would be hypocritical LOL#but i feel like this is one of the most visible examples of how its not abt sexuality its abt power#a lot of straight men's attitude towards lesbians is about the symbolic enactment of male power over all women#and thats why other people who arent even attracted to lesbians or arent men are also obsessed with inserting men into lesbianism#its ultimately about maintaining gendered boundaries and not about like wanting to sleep with a specific person#anyway something something the bi lesbian phenomenon#i think a lot of takes about how men treat bi womens attraction are goofy bc of the focus on erasure or whatever#but its not about that its about them WANTING to feel like they violated a boundary#whether youre the one with the boundary they want to violate#or someone who didnt have that boundary but theyre enjoying imagining that you did and they violated it#it sucks either way#idk i dont feel like i got it into words well but something about how deeply sick it is that even when bi women do want sex w men its like#they literally want to convince themselves you didnt want it at first. and thats really uncomfortable if you were sharing that intimacy with#someone not with that intention because its like theyre basically fantasising abt violating you and having power over you that you havent#actually given them#yuck
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
*through gritted teeth, shaking* if you want the rewards of not ruining your life and alienating everyone in it you must submit to the mortifying ordeal of talking about it like a grown up
#walking off a half hour panic attack from learning i had inadvertently made a friend uncomfortable- apologised profusely -#- explained my thought processes which had led to this happening while maintaining the understanding that a reason does not excuse it -#- and made some basic agreements and simple clear boundaries on how to avoid this happening in future#which is good!! id always much rather we talked about things than i made someone feel bad!#interpersonal social dynamics are absolutely not my strength and i try to make it clear that sometimes i need to be told things#but once im told ill always try and stay conscious of it#and it is good then to have friends who do tell me#but also. lizard brain craves running far far away about it
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
I’m seriously considering setting up something to write original works as a second job online. Idk if I’d get a patreon or make a side blog here or what, but the general idea would be to take requests and set up payments. I don’t know if anyone would be interested and it’s a bit intimidating figuring out the details of setting it up. Ideally, people could send in requests and I’d be able to write something within a reasonable amount of time.
#perhaps kink prompts or something. it'd be more up to my personal boundaries and the request itself#i've been writing for years but i've only done assigned prompts for a grade or followed my muse#with a few prompts from events over the years#figured i'd throw out a feeler post to see if anyone would be interested or has advice on how to actually go about this#while maintaining anonymity and such as well#i just know that i need to either get more hours at work or get a second job and i've been playing with this idea for years#i have a few original things in my files that i haven't really looked at in a while too#i always assumed if i finished my zombie book i'd just publish it#but this would be different#my writing#Kira's writing
9 notes
·
View notes
Note
Oh, I absolutely love Sebastian going 'I have cracked Alex's code of seemingly agreeing non-answers, so I will now ask important questions!' And Alex just going 'Uh-huh. Yup. Sure. Right.' (Eats sandwich like his years long crush hasn't just asked in a round about way if he's gay) These boys are the BEST at talking. I love it so much ❤️
They're both incredibly useless and I love them for it. I enjoy writing characters with very minimal communication skills who have a lot to learn and are still figuring out how to people, and while Sebastian can mostly do that, boy is he ever bad at it with Alex!
But he's getting there, it's like he veers in and out of the zone, so rather than being incompetent all the time, it's like the percentage at which he's competent at 'Alex' just slowly rises lol. I think we're around 30-35% now :D
#asks and answers#a stain that won't dissolve#thespectaclesofthor#alex's competency at handling/communicating with sebastian#is actually i'd say a bit higher#because he gets the answers he wants most of the time#and he's good at 'I'm Not Going To Talk About What I Don't Want To'#and whether or not he maintains the boundary in peak health#he certainly maintains it#when he wants to!#administrator gwyn wants this in the queue
16 notes
·
View notes