Israels actions against Palestine make me sick to my stomach. Every time I look at the news I see some new horror they are committing, and see how they are justifying the inexcusable, I feel sick to my stomach with rage. But now, in the heart of Ramadan, the word angry feels too small for the fire I feel in my chest.
Palestine will not be able to properly celebrate Ramadan this year. Trying to explain the situation to people who have never interacted with the community is difficult. Even when thinking to myself, I have the urge to compare it to what I know. "Imagine if there was no Christmas." "Imagine if someone took away Easter." "Imagine there was no food on Thanksgiving."
But Ramadan is not any of those things. The fact that there is no Ramadan in Palestine should be enough to make you angry.
I've been living in a muslim country for six months now. Ramadan is not nearly as festive as Eid was, but its presence is unmistakable. You can taste the joy in the air. Children here get out of school early this month. There is a school across from my home; I hear their laughter every day. String lights hang from the balconies of my neighbors, wrap around palm trees, dangle from streetlights. In the news I read that the Sheik has pardoned hundreds of prisoners, paying off their fines himself in the spirit of charity. Shops here are decorated to match, with cut out stars and crescent moons and streamers. Many shops offer discounts. "70% off home delivery."
There are festivals in the streets and lectures in the colleges.
It is wonderful. And the people of Palestine do not have this. Their fasting is forced, their children out of school by force, their houses lit by firebombs and not crescent moon LEDs, homes that smell of gunsmoke instead of oud.
I hate Israel. It feels childish to admit this. It feels like a shortcoming; hate is what causes this crisis, I should be able to focus on loving Palestine instead of adding more hate to the world. But it is a word I can't help but feel when I think about what Isreal has done, is doing, will do to the people of Palestine. What injustices they will force upon them next. Hate. It's not something I say lightly, but it is something I feel I must say.
I am not disappointed in Israel. I am not sympathetic to their 'cause.' I will not censor myself to sound more moderate, to convince the undecided. I hate Israel. I hate Israel. I hate Israel.
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like its ok to wish that hunter did more to get crosshair out but i will say PLEASE stop saying that rescuing the literal helpless child from the child murdering fascists was somehow wrong of Hunter.
also like. can we stop undermining the very clear and obvious way that crosshair liked the power that he was given in the empire, especially over others, he was radicalized. he convinced himself that the war crimes were justified in the name of power. that is a far bigger problem and something that is going to haunt him far longer and requires a lot more to undo and forgive (and some people will never and should never do that, and others can't bc they are Dead)
to say it was all the effects of the chips, at this point in the series, its just not true. the events of aftermath specifically are 100% the chip. Everything after that is up for debate. We don't know when it was taken out, but at some point it was, and crosshair's pov is that it doesn't matter when, bc he likes where he's at. Had he not been abandoned by the empire on Kamino for so long, I doubt he would have ever changed, had Cody not deserted after confronting him about what it was the clones were doing, I doubt he would have ever changed. Had he not been forced to see Mayday's struggle and fight to bring him home and still after everything they both gave after everything suffered mayday died not in battle but because someone couldn't be bothered to even try to help him, I don't think he would have changed. I don't think Hunter could talk him out of it, and maybe he didn't try hard enough, or really, at all. Crosshair's version of loyalty, though, is blind, unquestioning, a soldiers loyalty. Obeying what they were doing, things that Hunter couldn't obey, and would have made him a monster to do.
But I can't imagine the disgust I would be forced to contend with if like, my family member came forward like "oh yes we're built to be soldiers, that doesn't mean preserving or protecting innocents, It means power and killing those who get in my way. its my purpose in life and i think you're stupid for not getting over the moral objections" like what do you even say to that. Hunter at that point had SEEN what the empire was doing. They both had, their home planet, (and head canons aside, all clones did in fact, in canon, see it as their home.) orbitally bombarded to secure power. How do you talk someone out of that, if fundamentally what your disagreement is on the value of life. You don't. Hence Hunter's demands in S3E5 to know what changed. What finally made Crosshair realize what he believed, about power and his purpose, was wrong.
Crosshair didn't want out. Crosshair was upset they didn't stay. He saw their purpose as being with the Empire. They escaped and ran and deserted. If they weren't with him, in the Empire, then they should die, like the Jedi, and Crosshair did absolutely believe that.
So this is all to say that. they are not equally responsible for what happened to their squad. Crosshair didn't have a choice at first— but once he did keep running right over that line. And a lot of us hoped that he was lying about the chip, that he wasn't entirely responsible for all that he did. But he was. That's clear at this point.
Even the whole chip matter— it's prolly really hard for Hunter to separate it. logically, he knows it was partially the chip at this point. But at that point in the story he watched someone he was incredibly close to nearly kill them all and at the time he had no idea why. If Hunter'd not grabbed Omega by the leg and tripped her she would be shot dead. If omega hadn't surprised Crosshair by shooting his gun out of his hand he would have killed Hunter. He shot wrecker, to use him as bait against the rest of them? Like, again, we all knew about the chip, but I can understand the emotional toll of such a thing bc he DIDNT at the time. The betrayal in that moment? How do you let it go?
But thats all fine! its interesting its character development and its the story they were determined to tell. But like. we can be honest.
Now if someone thinks that im wrong i'd love to know what exactly hunter needs to be sorry about, and why he's equally responsible that doesn't like either downplay the war crimes and murder and doesn't throw Omega like directly into harms way and under the bus.
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The thing thats consistently bothered me the most in the fallout show is the racism. I would hesitate to recommend it because of that alone. And there was obvious love that the set and prop designers, actors, costume department, and even maybe the writers put into the show! There are themes and characters in fallout that i'm certain would resonate with fans of color!
It KILLS me that so many of the fallout entries are damn well unplayable/watchable in this regard because the writers simply Don't Care how the people in their work are presented. That this like hugely popular world with a lot of worldbuilding and thought behind it does such wrong to so many people, fans and otherwise, that you cannot find any game in the series that does it right or well. It alienates a lot of people who might've been fans just because the majority white creators and fanbase don't give a shit, and I'm sick of it.
it's not enough to say "in the fallout in my head that racism doesn't happen," you actually have to put some things into PRACTICE. Allow space in your head, your games/show, your fan spaces for people of color! notice and say something when you see racism coming from media, yourself, and others!
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More elaboration on ep6, from this post
So I do think imma split ep6 into 2 parts. Jsut because I do want to go more into detail about heaven and sera
Cause it's clear Sera doesn't LIKE doing the extermination, but thinks it's necessary. I also wanna add some stuff into the trial
Lute asks why angle didn't get here in heaven, and charlie says that 'because he DID committed sins. I'm not denying that- but he's TRYING he's getting better- he's not perfect, but he's trying the best he can, and he deserves a second shot."
I wanna add in them challenging chalries pov more, cause I do think there are flaws in it, like. Not ever sinner should be redeemed. Not every sinner wants to be redeemed. And there are vile souls down in hell
Like, I'm sure not all are evil, and some are down there for small sins or, like, killing someone in self-defense. But there are absolutely vile people like Valentino down there that shouldn't be redeemed
And I also kidna wanna make that part of charlies character arc, realizing not everybody SHOULD be redeemed. Not everybody deserves a second chance.
And I wanna like, explore that more in the trial, it want it to focus on back and forths. And then when Sera is starting to seriously consider that 'hey, maybe this could work, we could try and examine souls again' Lute and Adam try to rig it in their favor
Exposing Vaggie, but at the same time what they did, helping Charlies point. And then exposing EMILY when that fails
And oh boy, is that a shit show! I think Sera would be too in shock to really do anything in the moment, and I do think Adam would kinda take advantage of that, like 'those people corrupted your sister and made her fall can we kill them? Pleaseeeee'
And I think he'd spat out a 'fine' just so he leaves her a lone to process it all. She 100% regrets giving him an okay later once she's processed it all, but it's too late by that point
Side note; a theory I have is that she was fed false information, maybe by Adam maybe by lillith, that Hell was planning an uprising. We'll, I have to see
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Thinking about that cursed sovereign au again...
Nothing super substantial, I don't think. Just Neuvillette getting distracted while trying to find a way to break the curse and finding himself fascinated by the intricacies of human life. How his previous prejudices turn into genuine interest in the way humans interact with the world around them. How they live and grow and work and change in the slightest ways. How their cultures and customs are long lived and influential (as are his own) but each individual human has their own way of going about each daily ritual.
If he's to find a way to break this wretched curse without being caught or his true identity being suspected, then he needs to blend in as well as he possibly can. At least...that's what he told himself. But then he starts asking questions about humans with a little glimmer of interest and curiosity in his eyes. Mimics their rhythms and rituals even if he does not understand them completely. Finds that need to break the curse just a hint less pressing than it had been when he was first forced to take this form.
And of course, there is still that very present and urgent need to return to the sea properly. To be amongst the waves with fins and scales and to hear the water speak to him as it has for the past 500 years - and longer still in terms of his kind. But...now there is another desire inside of him as well. To touch and feel and know this world that he's been thrust into with hands that he'd never believed he would have but...he always secretly desired he did have.
A double edged sword of a curse; robbed of that he has always known - the power that he already had to fight to keep for his kin - and yet it has given him the freedom to walk amongst humans as though he were one of them. See the peace that followed the horrors of war centuries ago. Feel the warmth of the sun on human skin instead of a dragon's scales. The solidness of the earth beneath his feet instead of the security of water that surrounded him on all sides.
...The softness of a human's lips - their soft, even breaths - when he steals a moment to run his thumb over them while they sleep.
A step too far perhaps - one that finds him holed up back in the room that same human had so graciously given him. A step that he has to convince himself was made out of curiosity and only curiosity...and not from these new, human emotions blooming within him. Another reminder that he is not human. That this is not his world. That this curse - this wretched, awful curse - was made to weaken him and force him to submit to that witch of an Archon. He needs to break it. He has to.
Before he completely forgets himself in the longing he's long held for this world.
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