loonylooly

[loonylooly]

MY HEAAARTT 😭😭😭 THIS IS SO GOOD WTF THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!

secrets of the moonlit garden

mor x elain

Summary: Mor has always kept her heart guarded, afraid of letting others see the truth of her. Elain wears her heart on her sleeve, often exposing it to hands incapable of understanding its beauty. Time and trials push them apart, but will they find their way back together? 

Warnings: angst, happy ending

A/N: It’s your secret Santa here! 🎄@loonylooly. It's been a pleasure getting to know you and writing this for you! <3 There will be 3 parts to this little story, and the elves are just polishing up part 2. @acotargiftexchange

Read here on AO3 or below the cut

part 2 (coming soon) // part 3 (coming soon)

Elain fiddled with the flower before her, gently brushing the underside of the petals. Red.

In her mind, others associated her with roses, but Elain always saw her as a zinnia. Uncommon, and so many petals and layers she wanted to study each one, to know her like no other could. Her fingers drifted from the flower as she reminded herself there were limits, always limits.

Still, the flower had been the first to bloom after she planted them, and it gave her a painful, aching hope. She stood, brushing the snow from her knees, drying her hands on the fabric of her pants. First snow of the season, and she was glad nothing had iced over yet. Then again, it might not in this garden. Her garden.

A cloud drifted to the side, the full moon shining bright on the garden, the ornate clock glinting as it chimed. Elain counted. Twelve.

Mor was late.

A golden storm whirled at the edge of her senses, breath catching, Elain turned slowly to face it.

One hand braced against the doorway, breathing slightly heavy, white teeth shone in a grin made of nothing but pure joy as far as Elain could see. The type of grins Elain liked to think were saved just for her. Entirely differently from the court crafted ones, the ones made for subterfuge and ruling.

Her own returning smile was small, perhaps subdued, but she knew her eyes shone with just as much delight.

Golden hair flipped over a shoulder, Mor closed the distance between them, wrapping her in an embrace of citrus and cinnamon.

Elain breathed in deeply, burying her head in the other female's shoulder. Home. She felt like home, in a way. The kind of home she could only safely explore once a month, the type of home she craved every second she was away from it.

She was guided towards one of the stone benches, cold even through the layers she wore.

A light dusting of snow covered the various gargoyles and lingered on a few of the flowers. Her own private sanctuary, one designated just for her and whoever she chose to let in. Cleverly warded, by the very female sitting to her left.

“Do you want to keep the temperature controlled here? I can probably make it the same year round.”

“No,” the word came to her quick, with hardly a thought, just instinct. “No thank you.” She quite liked the cycle of things, and didn't want to disturb the nature of the plants. Everything and everyone went through seasons.

“You're certain?” Mor's red lips curved downward slightly. Elain flushed, not from the summer heat.

“I'm certain,” she murmured. Somehow, she didn't think the words would sound as good aloud as in her head, and something about the golden haired female always made her … stumble. “But maybe just a small section, if that's possible.”

Mor's smile told her it was, indeed, possible. Her heart fluttered in her chest.

“How have you been?” Mor asked, voice a bit hoarse, probably from disuse. There was a slight tremor in her fingers where she clutched her hand. Elain covered it with her own, gently rubbing back and forth. “It's from excitement, not cold,” Mor said at the motion. She went to move her hand away, but Mor instead covered it, holding her there. “I didn't say that to make you stop,” she added, perhaps a tad petulantly.

A low, breathy laugh crept up from Elain's chest, and she resumed her motions. Elain cocked her head to the side, and could've sworn guilt flashed over Mor's features, just before she moved her hand away. Elain had to remind herself, again, that Mor was just her friend. Could only be her friend. 

-

Mor didn't know what she was doing, perhaps for the first time. Giving her heart away to a female who'd made it clear she only saw her as a friend, but would then turn around and do things that turned her head upside down.

She watched as Elain crossed the garden, shears slipping from her pocket as she carefully snipped the stem of a pretty red flower.

”A zinnia,” she said, with that smile that made Mor bite the inside of her cheek, and extended it to her. She took it carefully, delicately, already trying to think of a way she could preserve it forever. If anything just to save this moment, as she'd already decided before coming here that it needed to be one of, if not the last. These nights were everything to her, and it might very well destroy her to end them, but the way things were right now was already eating her up inside. 

Minutes ago, she shouldn't have touched her. Shouldn't have reached for that delicate skin, but she'd needed something. Some kind of connection. She should've known better. Each time she reached, and each time it broke she broke a little further.

Mor extended her fingers in front of her, glancing down at the red painted nails, perfectly matched to the flower balancing on her lap.

“This-” she started speaking, pausing to clear her throat. Was it really necessary? Couldn't she just stop coming? No, even she knew Elain deserved better than that. “I have to stop meeting you here,” she said, knowing the female next to her deserved someone who would look her in the eyes and say it, just as well as she knew she couldn't do it. That was the root of everything, really, that she couldn't be the female Elain deserved.

Silence radiated through the area, and she risked a glance in her peripherals. The other female had shrunk into herself, arms wrapped around her to stave off an invisible cold. “If that's what you really think,” the voice that came out was cold as ice, despite the tears building in the corners of her eyes, “then you should leave.”

Mor left the flower on the bench behind her. It would be years before she realized the magnitude of her mistake, the true depths of the pain she'd caused.

[loonylooly]

Genderbend bat boys: Rayah, Cassie and Ariel

[loonylooly]

i procrastinated all my homework just to draw myself in the arcane style and i thought the world needed to know

[loonylooly]

It’s your secret Santa here! 🎄

I wanted to let you know the elves are hard at work polishing up your story, and the expected delivery is by Friday 12/20. But for now, I have a few details for you.

There's going to be three chapters.

The title is

***insert Christmas themed drumroll***

secrets of the moonlit garden

and a question for you! do you have any favorite holiday traditions?

OKOK FANCY FANCY

I cant think of anything for christmas but on new years we eat a fuck ton of grapes and i like that bc i like grapes

[loonylooly]

so on todays episode of wtaf is going on in my life:

Im in hell im in hell im in hell im in hell im in hell

[loonylooly]

id have my secret santa done by now if i didnt have a job 😤 I hurt my hip, ankle, and knee all over the course of 1 weekend WHY DONT THEY LET US SIT DOWN NOW I CANT WALLKKKK 😭😭😭 IM FUCKING LIMPING YALL

[loonylooly]

Quick what are you doing RIGHT now (besides scrolling Tumblr)

[loonylooly]

[loonylooly]

The love hate relationship i have with my art is one that is only rivaled by the love hate relationship with my mother

[loonylooly]

i love arcane tiktok

[loonylooly]

finding out your friend is reading acotar

[loonylooly]

Me and the mutual I pulled by being actually I have no idea why they followed me but I'm glad they did

[loonylooly]

reblog if gay

gonna see how far this goes without any tags.

[loonylooly]

tell me why you bastards

[loonylooly]

not surprised

[loonylooly]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[loonylooly]

It's your Secret Santa here! 🎄

I have another question for you, are there any characters you would prefer didn't show up in the story?

Hope you're having a fantastic day!

I'd have to say the bat boys 😭 i know it'd be difficult not to have them show up cause of Mor so honestly it's fine I'd just prefer them not to be major yknow?

And ty!! I hope you're having a fantastic day too!