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oh-no-its-bird · 2 months ago

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Getting deep into the aus in my head rn. Ok so you know that genre of arranged marriage webtoons/novels that's like, "the crazy princess is forced to marry the brave knight by the king, who wants to punish the knight for some reason" and then the princess turns out to either not be crazy or to be amping up the crazy on purpose, probably in order to survive some dark shit happening in the palace?

Ok so like. That. Now make it obkk.

(I'm tempted to say mdtb but obkk just fit better, I think. But also like, shit make it mdtb too, I love this trope)

Now here's the thing; I think there's a super fun argument to be made on both sides for who gets what role.

Crazy prince Obito could totally play into his Tobi persona, which would just be cool symmetry. But also knight Obito could be so cool, just objectively. And it could be interesting to play with a crazy prince Kakashi who like, saw his whole family murdered in front of him and then played up the crazy act to avoid becoming next on the chopping block.

Im going to settle with a prince Obito, so now please buckle up for todays au:

"Crazy" prince Obito who isn't quite as crazy as he seems being forcefully married to war hero general Kakashi of the Hatake dukedom in order to humiliate the Hatake's,,

(this one is nearly 4k words, so we're putting a cut on it)

SO! Starting from the top!

The Hatake dukedom is basically the only power to rival our beloved evil king Madara's throne. Other than them, Madara is pretty much untouchable, so his paranoid ass tries to keep a pretty firm eye and thumb on them. Gotta make sure they remember to stay the hell in line, you know?

So Kakashi is ordered to go to war pretty young, possibly in an attempt to get the young heir killed and cut off the Hatake's at the knees. Only for some years later, Kakashi to pretty much singlehandedly win that war and return this super big war hero. Which is a big problem for Madara, because now the Hatake's have even more political capital. And again, his paranoid ass does not like the possibility of there being someone to rival him in power.

As it is, there are only 3 (living, conscious) Uchiha left.

Madara, who is king.

Obito, a bastard nephew of Madara, who is absolutely fucking insane and only ever let out a tight leash when his insanity amuses Madara. He's only lived this long because his stupidity amuses Madara sometimes, and because he's very clearly no threat to him

And Sasuke, Madara's.... technical spare, who is only allowed to live because of his resemblance to Izuna.

(And somewhere deep in the castle, there sleeps on one Uchiha Izuna, trapped in some sort of coma Madara can not wake him from)

All the other Uchiha were killed (we will return to this) including Itachi and Shisui

(Incidentally, among Kakashi's loyal companions he collected during his years at war, there are two dark haired boys who are so careful to hide their faces when in public. I'm sure there's no relation there.)

So! Kakashi returns from war and Madara is like 'shit, I need to stop this train before it gets too far off the tracks' and invites Kakashi to the palace to "reward" him for his service.

Only when Kakashi gets there, the "reward" he's given is that Madara has arranged a spouse for him— his famously insane bastard nephew.

Getting into the politics of this: Giving him Obito humiliates him in public + gives him a ticking time bomb for a wife + reminds him of his place + gets rid of Obito too, who Madara is probably sick of seeing at this point.

Plus if we like, lean into period typical homophobia or whatever, Madara giving him a husband instead of a wife has implications too. Madara says you will NOT procreate, the Hatake house will NOT have a heir, and if they do then they'll automatically be a bastard who will never have a mother.

Take this crazy guy as ur wife lmao get fucked have fun <3

He's ending the Hatake's and Obito's bloodline in one move, 2 birds with one stone!! He's so smug about this solution he's worked out.

Kakashi, obviously yk, is super offended and panicked and also doesn't even want to get married, especially not to the goddamn famously insane prince, but he cant say no to the king! So he's kind of just forced to bow his head and grit his teeth and say thanks as Madara is all smug and happy on his throne saying some shit about he can't wait for the wedding.

So yk, Kakashi brings Obito home and it's this whole fucking spectacle because Obito is freaking the hell out and acting like a total lunatic

The whole rug pool is that Obito isn't nearly as insane as he's acting. To be clear, Obito does have just a whole list of mental issues, and is genuinely incredibly unstable— he's just also playing it way, way up in order to protect himself from being looked at too hard by Madara.

And obviously, yk, he's suddenly thrown at Kakashi with pretty much no warning for either of them, and he doesn't know who the fuck Kakashi is, other than his reputation for being at war for years now. So he's gonna really crank up the crazy factor because it's the only way he knows how to keep himself safe— at least until he's gotten a better handle of Kakashi what the hell he's all about

Anyways just, Kakashi and his crazy wife Obito,,

Kakashi ofc eventually sniffs out that Obito isn't nearly as insane as he's acting, and Obito is able to act a little more genuine to what he's really like.

Meanwhile we also get lots of Sakumo content, who is around btw and acting Duke Hatake. Also Rin is around, probably as Kakashi's second in command. We also get team ro, who Kakashi collected while he was at war and act as his lill team and trusted confidants

I want to see Obito and Sakumo in particular interacting tbh.

The differences between Madara as Obito's hella abusive shitty uncle who would purposefully provoke and feed into his fits, and his new so much kinder father in law who takes even his best attempts of causing a scene and making a fool of himself with a slow blink and a calm demeanor,,,,,, ough,,

Obito experiences fatherly love for the first time in his life and promptly has several crisis's about it

Now! Rewinding a bit to focus back on Madara / Uchiha situations ->

Madara doesn't really have an official heir. Or he does, but it's Izuna. Who, if you remember, is in that coma.

Madara is deep in denial about the fact that his brother is NOT going to wake up. Get over it Madara, it's been 10 fucking years !!!

Like I mentioned before, Sasuke only got to survive because he looks so much like Izuna. Madara probably straight up calls him Izuna and makes him dress and act like his younger brother sometimes when he's in his worst mental states (it flip flops a lot)

Sasuke can't be around Madara when he drinks bc Madara mistakes him for Izuna and starts alternatively yelling at him for daring to leave him and crying messily all over him

Sasuke is technically heir, but not really. Madara will only ever refer to him as the spare— because obviously, Izuna is going to wake up some day. Obviously. Any day now.

Now obviously, Sasuke already has a big brother! Which Madara does not like. How is he supposed to project all his issues onto Sasuke as a younger brother if Sasuke already has an elder brother?

So like, Madara gets rid of Itachi because he doesn't want Sasuke to have a big brother figure in his life other than him, bc yk, Sasuke is his Izuna shaped stress toy to cope with the loss of his own brother.

Madara sends Itachi to the front lines of the war at like 13 to have him killed. But then Kakashi saves him (team Ro noises,,)

Itachi quietly disappears from the playing field and is written off w the countless unnamed dead, and Madara is satisfied. Meanwhile, a masked assassin joins Kakashi's inner circle,,

(In the castle, in the middle of his grief, an 8 year old Sasuke is told he can address Madara as elder brother)

"How did Izuna even fall into that coma?", I hear you asking. Well!

I am now sliding to u a doctor/mage/saint Tobirama who is somehow the reason Izuna is in his coma (maybe on purpose, maybe by accident)

But Madara can't kill him bc hes like. The best doctor he has. And he needs him to keep Izuna alive in his coma.

"Damn, well how did Tobirama get to be working for Madara?" I now hear you asking

Well! x2, We will now rewind even further, to Madara's childhood ->

Starting it off with: is it even a naruto au without a dash of "childhood friends gone wrong?"

Basically, when Madara was a kid, he got to be close friends with Hashirama. Only for Hashirama to be unwittingly used as a tool by his father, for Butsama to try and overthrow the king of the time, Tajima.

A ploy that nearly worked, Butsama managing to kill Tajima + all of Madara and Izuna's other siblings + most of the other Uchiha right in front of the boys.

At the last second, Madara, with the help of the family's advisor, Zetsu, managed to kill Tajima and divert his plans. But now most of the Uchiha were dead and they had a crisis on their hands.

Madara is put on the throne at like, 13 years old, with only Zetsu to really rely on because everyone else is fucking dead, defected, or suspicious as hell. (Which is why, even decades later, he remains so consistently paranoid of anyone who might have the power to rival the throne; ie, the Hatake)

Anyways. Boy king Madara with his spooky advisor Zetsu at his side.

Zetsu is that trope of a a super obviously creepy and evil royal advisors, you guys know the trope. He is hunched behind Madara's throne whispering into his ear

"Kill them sire,,, they disrespect you,,,"

He like helped raise Madara when he was a young so Madara is DEEP in his pockets. After all, after the Uchiha were nearly overthrown, he was the only adult figure Madara had to depend on.

(To be clear, Madara himself is a shitty person. Zetsu is his own brand of spooky evil guy, and yeah he's a terrible influence on Madara, but Madara has made his own shitty evil choices in this too.)

After everything settled down, Madara had to decide what the hell to do with the remaining Senju— including Hashirama and Tobirama, who were also now among the only survivors of their clan.

Hashirama never meant to betray Madara, but he still did, and for that Madara can bear to look at him or he'll begin to feel sick.

Madara ends up being unable to kill his old best friend (even as Zetsu urges him to do it), and instead just sends him off to some temple deep on the edge of the kingdom, under heavy guard, basically banished from everywhere else in the kingdom. Hashirama goes quietly.

Tobirama, however, he keeps. Forced to serve in the palace as a sort of doctor.

Put him in some sort of magic collar that means he can't disobey a member of Uchiha royalty or smthn fun and fucked up like that, it could be fun. Collar that man !!!!!

Its enchanted w an order like, "you must follow every order given to you by the king" and then later down the line (when Madara is inevitably overthrown) Madara tries to order Tobirama to do smthn, Tobirama just looks at him coldly and goes "you are king no more."

I think whether Tobirama put Izuna in a coma or not would be left intentionally vague. We never know. Not even I know.

Maybe it was an accident, and Madara can only assume the worst because of who his father was and his clear hatred of the Uchiha.

Or maybe it was on purpose, his intrusive thoughts finally winning out. He certainly doesn't seem to have much sympathy or regret for the fact Izuna's been asleep for a decade now

Now, pointing back at Zetsu and Madara

Zetsu is sort of just a generic shadowy advisor for Madara in this. He's running the kingdom behind Madara's shoulder, he just kinda gets to do whatever and thrives bc of it. Zetsu living his best life!!!

Everyone is suffering in some way EXCEPT for Zetsu, who is having a wonderful time

So like. Madara seeming convinced he'll never die. Bc Zetsu has been whispering in his ear ab ideas of eternal life and necromancy, telling him he can rule forever and use this newfound power to wake Izuna. (Which is also ofc why he has no real heir and doesn't seem too worried about it)

(Meanwhile in the bg Tobirama is being used for his research. He's… happy about this, actually. He's thriving, just a little bit. Madara lets him play with dead bodies. And yeah, it sucks he has to obey the bastards commands, he's given p much unlimited funds and just kinda makes cool taboo shit as he researches immortality. He still bitches ab it tho.

Maybe in the end, he'll drag Madara out from the dungeons by the scruff like hes a wet cat and says smthn vague ab how hes going to be calling the shots from now on, and they disappear into the night)

So anyways. Inhuman somehow vaguely immortal Zetsu— who's been running out on his immortality juice.

Maybe we can play w Kaguya and the Hatake clans involvement? Zetsu gets his power from siphoning off of Kaguya, but the Hatake's of these past few generations have been worshipping her too, so she no longer has eyes only for Zetsu— meaning he no longer gets as much power from her.

Which is also why he's pushing Madara to hit the Hatake's w the ban hammer, because he wants them out of the way so Kaguya will look his way again.

(Or at the very least, Tobirama can hurry up and inventory human immortality already so Zetsu can try out a new method)

If you wanna get extra fucky with it, we can go with a 'son of Kaguya' Kakashi au, and throw in even more fucked up moon goddess family drama. Kakashi has no idea he's even related to the moon goddess, but Zetsu is losing his fucking mind because he's no longer his mothers number one special little boy anymore

What even is an obkk au without heaps of family drama in all directions?

Ok so, rewinding back to where we were, with newly wed Obito and Kakashi ->

So, Kakashi has been at war for some years now and has a lot of shit to do and catch up on now that he's back. Including catching back up with his dad, who he hasn't been able to see for any longer than a week tops in years. Very emotional! Very fun! Madara is a bastard for keeping them apart

But specifically tho. Kakashi helping Itachi to reunite with Sasuke.

I mentioned before that Kakashi collected team ro while he was out at war, and each of them probably has some sort of mini quest to fulfil,,

Senju bastard Tenzo who maybe grew up in the same church Hashirama was banished to, but was eventually sent away by Hashirama who couldn't bear to see him live the same isolated life as him (and maybe feared that Tenzo would be killed if Madara heard there was a new mokuton user)

Itachi and Shisui, Itachi being sent away to die and Shisui being an Uchiha bastard who either Madara thought he managed to kill (but escaped the massacre of his own remaining family Madara would eventually pull) or who got sent away with itachi to die at war. And just them wanting to reunite with Sasuke, their only remaining family left, who they worry for every day that he's left alone with Madara.

Im thinking tho. Sasuke eventually somehow escaping on his own (before team ro can even try to sae him) and managing to get to the Hatake dukedom,,,, Kakashi and Obito end up basically adopting him, pass it on

Super emotional Sasuke and Itachi reunion my beloved,,, I want Sakumo to try and dad them both, it'd be fun. Sakumo is just dad-ing everyone in this au, he's so father shaped

Sasuke spending so many years alone w only Madara as his family and maybe a weirdly fucked up and distant uncle-ish energy Tobirama who he regularly sees Madara going out of his way to make his life miserable.

But also like, obviously: Sakura and Naruto. I bet those two helped him escape tbh

Uhh knights in training Naruto and Sakura who are so determined to protect their prince Sasuke (even as Sasuke tells them he doesnt need his protection)

What if Sakura is training under Tobirama in place of Tsunade? Could be fun, idk.

Where is Tsunade in this, is she dead? Was she ever born? Did Madara steal her from Hashirama to make her work in the castle? Could be fun,, on that note too, Orochimaru might be somewhere around here, working with Tobirama to unlock immortality for Zetsu/Madara (*cough* himself *cough*)

Anyways, knights Sakura and Naruto who enter the palace so starry eyed for their beloved king Madara and prince Sasuke,,, only to slowly realize this is NOT the fluffy sparkly fairytale they thought this was going to be.

Im thinking narusasusaku energy where Sakura and Naruto are being silly and competing for their beloved, closed off ice prince's attention, alternating between fighting each other for Sasuke to look at them and teaming up to get rid of potential rivals

Meanwhile Sasuke is looking on at these fucking idiots blatant attempt to throw themselves at him in that way that only kids can, alternating between being annoyed and exasperated and trying to hide how amused he is. They are one of the only bright spots in his life ,,,

Madara doesn't even really have a reason to fuck Sasuke over w them tbh, honestly he might even encourage it just bc they're knights in training and he wants his spare to be well protected (against everyone but him lmao)

Madara is shitty but Sasuke is in this really weird position where he's probably the safest from him. Beccause, you know, Izuna. There's a lot of emotional abuse there and incredibly unhealthy dependency from Madara's end, projecting Izuna onto Sasuke. But for the most part, Madara dotes on him. Because, again, Izuna. Though there's also probably a certain amount of genuine fondness Madara has grown for him

He only really gets violent if it looks like someone will try and take Sasuke away from him (particularly in a familial way, which is what got Itachi (almost) killed)

Naruto and Sakura are deemed safe by Madara because they too are under his control, and every prince does need a good knight.

He might even think their not so well hidden crushes would be good for him, because that way he can count on them to ruin any of Sasuke's future romantic prospects for him. And if Sasuke ends up getting with his knights, he will never have a reason to leave the castle, even once he's an adult. A win win for Madara!

Madara approaching Sakura and Naruto both, telling them he thinks theyre just soooo good at being knights and, obviously you know, as their king he will hope they give him lots of updates about Sasuke.

Both Sakura and Naruto are super starry eyed and all for it at first, but Sakura quickly realizes that Madara is asking them to spy on Sasuke for him.

Sasuke himself is not surprised and probable expects it. This is what Madara has done with every single other person that he's ever looked at longer than 3 seconds.

There is a reason Sasuke has no friends, and it's not just because he doesn't want any. That one time when he was 9 and he told his playmate that he missed his big brother and hoped he would come back soon, only for Madara to later drag him out of bed in the middle of the night, scream at him and threaten to send him to die on the front lines with his brother if he really wanted to be with him so bad— well, that kind of gave him trust issues. Understandably.

Thinking also that over the years, while Kakashi was at war, Madara was keeping Sakumo from going to see his son by claiming he needed him close to the palace. So, like, Sakumo interacting with Sasuke on and off over the years,,, just this occasional figure of stability Sasuke is never supposed to talk to for too long,, this man he knows Madara is scared of, who feels so warm to him.

And Sakumo, missing Kakashi so much, interacting with Sasuke thinking about how 'my son was this small, when your uncle sent him to die' and nearly crying about it later.

Anyways just sasusakunaru,,, prince sasuke and his two knights who enter the castle at like 12, starry eyed and fulled of hope— but slowly becoming disillusioned as they realize what kind of life Sasuke is really living.

Them going from swearing to protect their prince with all the strength and surety of a couple of hopeful kids with big dreams— to really, genuinely meaning it, and eventually helping him escape from Madara's hands.

And then ofc them fleeing to the Hatake dukedom, where Sakumo and Kakashi give him sanctuary and he gets to see Itachi again. Who, by the way, he thought was dead and had NO idea was here. Yayy!

Anyways!

Endgame of Kakashi and Obito overthrowing Madara and tossing him into the dungeons. Tobirama ends up dragging Madara out of the dungeons and they disappear into the night together, never to be seen again. (with the implications of a sudden very sharp shift in power between them something to think about off screen)

Sasuke becomes king bc neither Kakashi or Obito wants the throne, and rules with his trusty knights (and partners) Naruto and Sakura.

Obito is happy being a trophy wife for Kakashi, this is actually his ideal ending (after the horror and stress of adjusting to this new unknown life)

Sakumo meanwhile gets to be godfather of the first sasusakunaru kids and swears to protect the Uchiha family for as long as he can

The end, or something

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thorough-witness-enjoyer · 1 month ago

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This quote from Xi Ro in the Book of Sorrows always gets me because it captures so well the feeling of being young and powerless, frustrated and desperate to fight tooth and nail to make your existence matter to an indifferent cosmos that permits foul play

#destiny 2 #destiny #destiny the game #d2 #xivu arath #destiny xivu arath #been reading the book of sorrows and weeping a lot recently #oh xi ro I’ll save myself the grief of thinking about what you will become #the Osmium siblings always hit me where it’s raw #Book of sorrows changed my life as a kid #and it’s still changing my life to this day #everyone go read it a bajillion times please

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starpiastri · 2 years ago

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“In addition to which, all the girls fancy Mark Webber!” i giggled

#ro reads

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ronearoundblindly · 1 year ago

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Steal that boy back to the nice team. LOVE IT!

Allright my sweet Jam, listen about this. How about a reader who is new at her work and Meet our dear nerdy boy Jensen, Who happens to be in a very bad relationship with a mean girl. He doesn’t leave her because he thinks nobody would date him again , however there comes our reader girl being a badass, sort of friendsxlovers cuties🤭.

Im loving thiiiis!!!! 🙈

Hi nonnie😌❤️

😩soft boi Jakey is always going to have a special place in my heart - the golden retriever look on his face is so damn adorable-

Bad B*tch

Jake Jensen x Reader (you)

Summary: Jake is in a tough spot with a terrible person around. You choose to be the bitch and snap him out of it.

Warning: Swear words.

"I'm so fed up!" Hush-yells Clara, who shoved Jake away from her close proximity, "Leave me alone!"

Storming off from the coffee room, she didn't look back.

If anyone other than people from your department is seeing this, they would think that Jake, who had been pushed and shoved, must have done something wrong to piss off the pretty lady who ran away.

From your point of view?

Clara was obviously manipulating her boy toy again.

It was unfair to call Jake "boy toy", however, with his weirdly cute goatee and the round spectacles on the bridge of his nose, you understood why Clara would want him around. He was undoubtedly good-looking, and practical regarding computers, phones, and anything linked to the power strip.

In fact, your laptop was what connected you and him in the first place. On the first day in your office, you were completely bewildered by the complicated authorization process to make amendments to some files. After some help from the only guy at IT - Jake - you were lucky to gain the authorization from the IT department twice as fast. You had been friends since.

Now, after two years working for your company, you knew too well of your co-workes, Jake included, but especially Clara from the same department where you came from.

Clara was the notorious slayer of hearts, keeping a few men around the tips of her fingers, and manipulate them to do her work for her, occasionally rewarding them by blowing a kiss (or screw them in an empty office, you had the unfortunate experience of walking in Clara and another men fucking each other's brain out) and making their sanity scrambled into mush.

Jake, as it seemed, has fell into the hands of Clara since six months ago.

Jake met your eyes from where he was standing. He managed a small smile, which looked sad rather than happy.

"What is it with this time?" You asked quietly.

It has happened so many times after Jake was determined that Clara was willing to be his girlfriend. Clara would scream and yell whenever something didn't work out the way she expected to, and Jake would hastily apologize for something that wasn't his fault.

"I ... got upset when she got too close with Felix." Jake scratched the back of his head, stepping out of the coffee room and gesturing towards the terrace, where he'd be more open to conversation without eyes and ears close by, "It's ... it's my fault, though, I'm insecure, I'm ..." Jake repeated what Clara had hissed at him, shutting his eyes, he could still hear her words ringing in his ears.

"Sorry about dumping this on you." He hastily apologized. He noticed that you were awfully quiet, probably because that you didn't want to hear about his yet-to-be relationship drama.

"It's okay." You shrugged.

It was not. But last time when you told Jake that Clara was manipulating him into doing her biddings, Jake broke into a large fight with you.

Even though he apologized the next day, but stating the fact that Clara was nothing like you imagined her, you realized some topics were better staying in the dark.

Topics like Clara and her ways with men.

However, it didn't mean that you couldn't wiggle your opinion into his mind.

You turned to him, your voice flooded with sympathy, "You must feel that you are out of her league, I get that a lot."

Yeah sure, Clara didn't deserve him.

Jake took a deep breath, before continuing, "It's just that ... none of the girls finds me attractive." He casted a small glimpse in your direction, "I'm the nerdy IT guy, and they are always ... hot. " Licking his lower lip nervously, Jake huffed, "Clara is different. She has a bad temper, but I think she likes me. She really does."

You were not going to dwell on the case of Clara, because you knew no matter what you say, he was going to defend her. So you changed your approach, "Rewind to the last thing you said - you're not a nerd."

Jake pouted, blinking his puppy eyes.

His whole demeanor was expressing one simple idea. He knew you were trying to sneak by with a white lie.

You laughed. "Okay! Okay, you are. But you're cute. Don't girls dig the cute nerd type?"

"You'd be surprised." He sagged his shoulder, looking depressed, mumbling, "Thank you, anyways. You must have something better to do, and yet you chose to stay and listened to my miserable love life-"

"Don't." You instinctively stopped him from saying more, "Look, Jake, you've been my friend ever since I got to this place, and I know you. I chose to stay because my friend is in need because of a-" You swallowed the B-word, with difficulty, "a really bad person broke his heart, over, over and over again. Not because of anything else, and certainly not because my dear friend 'doesn't deserve' some comforting when he needs it."

Jake stretched his arms over the terrace railing, looking into the city's concrete walls and iron jungles.

"Jake, look at me." You whispered.

He gave no reply, simply letting out a long sigh.

"Jake." You raised your voice, only by a little, and he still did not answer you.

"Jake-" You squished his cheek between your palms, finally made him turn your way, with his adorable lips protruding, "You're better than this - sulking over that bitch - okay?"

A pit of fire rolled in your stomach.

Why couldn't he see the truth? That Clara was playing him, that she never meant to be his girlfriend, not to mention the new boytoy she had, Felix, who was in the accountant and that she needed Felix to check the books for five dozen purchases in your department - on top of, the purchase checks were supposed to be Clara's work, because she messed up with her data entries.

"She wants me." Jake repeats stubbornly. If he had puppy ears, they'd be dangling to the floor, "She likes me."

God, enough with Jake and his bullshit-

You stood on your tiptoes quickly, and smothered Jake with a kiss. The hands on either side of his cheek helps. The fire in your stomach fueled to the kiss, urging you to nibble on his lips, regardless that you were on the terrace of the company building, that you could be seen by almost anyone who stepped foot into the second floor, while the only thing that separated you from the building was see-through glass doors.

"Jake, I need you to help me with-" Clara rushed over, pulling the glass door open, was stunned at her spot, and then, "YOU BITCH!" She screamed at you.

"Guess I am." You smiled coyly, letting go of Jake's reddened lips, "need anything?"

Clara turned to Jake, stomping like a teenager, "Jake, please, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. I really need your help."

"I-" Jake hesitated.

"Jake pleaaaaase, you can't help her like that." You mocked her voice, fingers exploring his chin and his stupidly cute goatee, "Oh wait - sorry, forgot I was a bitch. Now why don't I live up to that name - " You made the most impressive bitch face in your entire life, not that you did it before, but with you narrowing your eyes, and twitching your lips, and the "Fuck off from my boyfriend", you made Clara scatter.

You were crossing your arms in contempt, satisfied with your tactics, when a small gasp from Jake made you aware of his presence.

"For the record, I'm not saying sorry." You pursed your lips into a thin line, "Even if you don't want me to be your friend anymore."

Jake gulped, and gulped again, and calling your name hesitantly. Thin sheet of sweat emerged from his forehead, before the goofy grin curled up onto his lips.

"No. No." He murmured. Cheeks pink, biting the inside of his lip, staring into the ground so hard as if studying tile patterns, he added, "You're not asking me for help at work, are you?"

You huffed out a laugh. You could not believe his first concern of your announcement.

"Yes." You cleared your throat.

His eyes looked up in disbelief.

"And asking you to come to our house for New Year's dinner. And asking you to teach me how to play Overwatch. And asking you to be my date at my cousin's wedding. And such and such." Your hand sneaked to his side, secretly interlacing his fingers with yours, "What'd you say?"

"Yeah." He breathed, "Yeah that sounds ... great. As long as I get to be Sombra."

"Who?" You quirked your eyebrows.

Jake giggled, holding your hand tightly in his, "You have so much to catch up on Overwatch! Sombra is the most badass one of them all - well, not as badass as you, it seems..."

Find Jammy's 500 Follower's Celebration here 👈

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#ro reads #jake jensen x reader #jake jensen fanfiction #jake jensen fluff #jake jensen angst #jake jensen x you

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comradeboyhalo · 1 month ago

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(kingdom enjoyers - if any of you disagree, please correct me! im just saying what i've observed, but i dont follow yellow pov religiously.)

the current state of the honey badgers vs the kingdom is vv interesting. when factions first begin, most flocked towards foolish and the kingdom (understandably), while bad only had pangi, who joined out of pity. green faction from the beginning have always been friends but not ride-or-dies, meanwhile yellow has been a very unified, loyal force. however, now it's interesting to see that green faction has largely maintained their status quo (albeit pangi and bad being a bit distant after pili's death), while the kingdom's foundation has definitely taken repeated hits over the month. and i cant help but wonder if it has to do with the moralities of their two representatives.

foolish is much more outwardly caring than bad, way less violent, and generally more personable and friendly. it's easy to see why people feel safe and seen with him, because he does care for them, and he does see them. but foolish is foolish, and he craves his chaos. he justifiably hates green, and wants to see them crushed. he's willing to play fast and loose with his faction's lives if it means he can have that thrill. he won't force them towards anything, but he also forgets to check in for their consideration too. the members who joined the kingdom didn't exactly sign up for landduo's chaos, or foolish's desire to "let the wheel spin". that's why it's so easy to see why losa could consider breaking away and why ros has her doubts.

meanwhile, pangi, hannah, and pac knew fully what they were signing up for when joining with bad. hannah from the start supported a faction that would oppose the kingdom, pangi fully embraced sabotaging the bee quest, with pac joining in the midst of it. they know upfront who bad is as a person and where his morals lie. they know he's both slow to trust and untrustworthy, that their best friends are people outside the faction, and that he thrives for chaos. so when bad actually exhibits these immortal traits of his, it's far easier for them to take it in stride. pangi knows not to fully trust bad with his bare back, but he also understands there's no target painted on it. bad and pangi have referred to each other as family, and their separate goals/actions have never affected their place in green. it's a less unified faction than yellow, but it appears to be more stable because they find it easier to let it all play out.

#AGAIN IF IM WRONG ON YELLOW DISREGARD AND JUST READ THE GREEN SECTION 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️#the realm smp #also - i do understand that it essentially just boils down to bad/pangi vs foolish/ros/sneeg #bc those are the ones who are consistently active #oh and pangi and bad definitely have their doubts with each other #i think they never will be truly loyal to each other or the faction #but i also hesitate to say thats anything new

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zico-if · 4 months ago

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This story is not one, where at the end, you find yourself surrounded by your loved ones. No, this is a one of how you die.

[ DEMO - tba ]

Ever since the death of your parents by those who'd been sworn to protect you, there has been something inexplicably wrong with you.

At first, they were just headaches—small manageable aches, even at their worst. But then came the voice. A voice that wasn't yours, whispering things you couldn't possibly know, helping you do things no one should be able to do.

Everything about you was just...wrong.

But then you were saved, taken in by people who gave you shelter and taught you control. And over time, that voice became nothing more than a whisper, offering you insights when you least expect it.

You became a scalpel in their organization, an invaluable asset who cut away whatever rot they pointed you to, and you did so without question.

That is, until one day a job lands you in hot water and the next thing you know, you're told to cut the rot that lies a little too close to the heart. Suddenly, the truth becomes lies, friends turn to foes, and the fine line between loyalty and betrayal begins to blur.

That begs the question: just how far are you willing to go to cut out that rot before it spreads?

Become a vessel for an Eldritch that grants you abilities like no other, yet endure the consequences that follows it.

Customise your vessel, including their pronouns, identity and physical appearance.

Romance 1 of 4 options: the rot, the grace, the protector or the stranger.

Confront old friends, create new foes, run some errands and try not to die while doing any of it.

Pluck at the fraying strands of your mind. Teeter to the edge of Insanity.

Trust that no one is who they say they are.

And most importantly: Abandon All Hope.

The Rot: Ilya Roson [m/f/nb] - romanceable by all MCs.

A person who you've long since thought was gone. They've betrayed you once and they've come to do it again. Then again, betrayal requires trust in the first place and you've since learned your lesson from the first time.

The Grace: Vira Duval [f] - romanceable by nb!MCs and f!MCs only.

She is beauty, she is grace, yet monstrous all the same. There is something about her that strikes you: the scars that creep from beneath her neck line, the cold calculation in her eyes. She is more than the Blueblood you think she is.

The Protector: Aurius Duval [m] - romanceable by all MCs.

A scion of everything you've come to hate, he dares to call himself a protector—a shield to the people above all else. While he is kind and polite, you can't help but see the blood that he carries on his hands...even though you carry more on yours.

The Stranger: Rhian Scott [m/f/nb] - romanceable by all MCs.

They are the trouble that follows you, the herald of misfortune. Why is it that every time they're near, something always goes wrong? Is it the charm, leeching all the luck you have to fuel it? Or is it maybe that they are just not the friend they claim to be?

The Night Abridged is rated 18+ for violence, strong language, blood & gore, sexual content and more.

Hello, my lovelies. Here is a new intro post for the remake of The Night Abridged, reblogs are much appreciated :)

#zico.intropost #interactive fiction #if wip #interactive game #interactive novel #twine #twine if #if game #i was going to add the type of route the ROs were but then i realised yall would come for my ass if you knew #mc is such an unreliable narrator lol #i have outlined chapters 1 and 2 so its time to get writing :D #I've read over this post so many times but if there are mistakes...sigh.

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ronearoundblindly · 1 year ago

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[also, are you implying that I am the size of a horse or bigger, mr. marshall??? shame on you 🫢🥴]

Migrained reader

VERSUS???

Walter

hehehe! Yes, my dear, VERSUS!! Reader is stoned on migraine meds and is horny and bratty antagonistic. Walter wants Reader to rest and get better, and is stubborn. so.... that's where the versus comes in.

Snippet below:

“You are supposed to be sleeping,” he softly states before you can even round the doorway into the living room.

You stomp your foot as you pass the threshold. “Not tired, bear,” you whine softly, licking your dry lips.

Walter doesn’t even look up from the notes, papers, print outs, photos and folders on the coffee table. “You should be, you took enough of your meds to knock out a horse,” he gently tried, glancing up at you. His eyes roamed over your attire as you came to stand next to him, while his head stayed in the same position. “What do you need, baby? You need a drink? How's your head?”

You just shook your head and whined softly again. “Head’s nummmb-ish,” you mumble, describing how your migraine meds worked on you. You knew you hurt, you just didn’t care any more. It made your whole body overly sensitive. Rubbing your hands up your sides, you drug your shirt with it, giving Walter a peak at your panties if he was looking... but the fucker was too busy looking at his work.

With another soft whine, you put one knee on the sofa cushion next to him and slid yourself awkwardly across his lap, trying to push him back away from his work. Only because he allowed you to, he settled against the back cushion of the sofa, a file folder still open in his hands held above your body, his eyes on the page. “Walter....” you whined.

“Yeah, baby?” he asked absently. “What do you need? Besides sleep.”

Slithering from your prone position across his thighs, you sat up, tucking your head against his shoulder, sitting in his lap with your back against his chest, looking almost like a girl waiting for her bedtime story. “I was lonely,” you mutter, turning your face into his neck. The meds did this to you if you didn’t immediately fall asleep after taking them. They made your body overly sensitive and tingly. The simple brush of your own hand against your arm, or any other part of your body lit a fire in your system, made your panties dampen.

“You wouldn't be lonely if you were sleeping,” Walter insisted while arching his head out of your way to allow you to kiss and lick at his throat. Even though you were granted access, you knew he wasn’t paying too much attention to you, he was still wrapped in the file in his hands.

With a semi hard nip of your teeth, you turn to sit up, putting your face in his. Your hooded eyes force him to look at you, as you directly move your head into his view, blocking the dreaded folder of death and mayhem from his view.

Whatcha think?

Wanna ask me about one of my WIPs? Click here.

#love it #walter marshall fanfiction #walter marshall fanfic #walter marshall x reader #ro reads

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l3viat8an · 1 year ago

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Solomon: *T-posing in the kitchen doorway at the demon lords castle* Greetings, Barbatos!

Barbatos:*Not looking up from his morning tea* Good morning, problem child.

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nexahexagon · 14 days ago

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@stalecherios <- the asker

Idk why but your ask glitched out and wouldn’t let me answer directly, but absolutely love this idea!! Creates such interesting dynamics and the wart infection idea is great! I imagine little souls whisping off of Clown like smoke with great emotion, like an attachment to soulsand as a secondary effect. I wasn’t sure how exactly to capture it but it’s a really cool idea!

Also, I made Crinkle a moth for this bc me and a lot of other Freaks still associate Sneeg with his Moth persona from Origins! And it’s a convenient conversion from the butterfly! But yeah a beetle or mushroom guy also fits well, especially with the mushroom island and Sneeg’s love for mangrove trees/ mossy-lush forests!!

Sneeg would totally become a mad scientist for the Castle. I think it fits so well already that he gives access to all Yellow members his machines that he’d have them in the castle. And he and Clown getting irritated at the other factions for infiltrating and using Sneeg’s machines/ trying to “take” them.

For the first pic, it’s a small headcannon that afk (or “asleep”) players become statues while gone. Either statues of their person or a statue of a symbol of them. And reset players are completely gone (into the Null). So Sneeg visits Ros’s statue inside of her tower occasionally!!

Also thank you for this ask bc I think it helped a lot with their designs. Sneeg didn’t change much but I think I have a decent idea for designing Ros and Clown now!!

Edit: forgot to put I think Clown and Ros would be super competitive rather than the bickering Sneeg and Clown do! They’d constantly be one-up ing the other in just passing comments I feel! “Oh Sneeg, did you know I New Gamed Heavy Weapons twice already? Yeah, I’m the first to do so :)” “oh really? Well I heard someone here is almost maxed alchemy! Oh wait, that’s me :)” but idk much of their dialogue to maybe put it properly?

#nexart #tr!sneegsnag #tr!sneeg #tr!ros #tr!roscumber #tr!clownpierce #trsmp #also I think Fit and Tina swap- and PAC and Bagi swap #<- idk why pac is caps lol #it’s just fits a tiny bit too well #would Foolish and Owen swap? their personalities definitely fit for it #and Bad and Pili could swap as well #ohhh this idea of yours is so fun #also also #Sneeg has started using a spear sm more recently #I feel it fits that Warrior Princess Ros would teach Mad Scientist Sneeg how to fight with a spear #anyways #Ty for the request it was super fun :D #and ur rambles were very interesting and cool to read!

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bevsi · 7 months ago

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at this point I need everyone to reread Nana and take a reading comprehension quiz before they tag my unrelated art with it

#bevfoolery #I’m convinced they didn’t read it if they genuinely mistake my OCs for them 😭#Ro would beat every male character in Nana with hammers

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innit1 · 11 days ago

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Some scribbles of my favourite gremlin in honour of Holy Terrors by @what-eats-owls releasing in ONE ‼️ WEEK‼️

#little thieves #painted devils #my little gremlin girl oh how I’ve missed you #fanart #art #vanja schmidt #Vanja Ros #emeric conrad #holy terrors #my art #books and reading #books

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churrobird · 22 days ago

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"okay, okay, okay! uhm! close your eyes, please?"

under his mask, clown allowed himself a fond smile, watching as ros anxiously bounced on her toes in front of him.

he had been sitting in his room in the castle, polishing one of his enchanting daggers, when the architect had knocked on his door. she had poked her head in, beaming with nervous delight at the sight of him, and had told him that she had a gift for him.

"a gift?"

"yes! a gift! i've made everyone hats for the ball- obviously, i already gave you yours, but... i decided to make something else for you!"

that brought them to now. obediently, he shut his eyes, his keen ears picking up rustling as, presumably, ros pulled something from her inventory.

"you're not peeking, right?" he heard ros question, a hesitant skepticism in her voice.

"and ruin such a grand surprise from the royal architect herself? of course not, my dear ros!" clown replied, shifting his voice into his grandiose "archmage" accent

pride bubbled in his chest as he heard ros barely suppress a giggle. that silly voice had always made her laugh, so naturally, he did it as much as possible around her.

"no, i believe you! just hold out your hands!"

no sooner than had he followed the command, something was placed into his open grasp. ros' hands guided his own to firmly hold the object. he ran his fingers over it, attempting to figure out what it was before he opened his eyes. it was round, convex, and cold. even with his gloves preventing him from feeling the finer grooves, he could tell that there were streaks of a different material in the middle, with a smoother, glossier texture than the rest.

"okaaaayy... open your eyes!" ros said, and so he did.

in his hands was a mask. white porcelain, with a wide grin and cross-like eyes just like the one already on his face. the difference was the thick cracks of gold that ran down the length of the entire mask, as if binding together the different shards of porcelain. he reverently ran his thumb over the cheek of the mask, admiring the whorls of red and gold paint that decorated the rest of it.

it took him a moment to reply, so enraptured by the design, before he quickly realized that ros had slowly been going tense, clearly worried that his silence was one of displeasure. he snapped back to reality, quick to assure her, "oh, i love it, ros! it's wonderful."

her entire body sagged with relief, "oh, thank you, thank you! i got the idea for the gold cracks after reading a book about pottery! it's called "kintsugi"- when you repair broken pottery with gold? it took me... a couple of tries to get it right."

"how many is 'a couple'?" he asked, playfully.

her pause spoke volumes, and she meekly mumbled, "sixteen...."

he snickered, and had to hold back a snort at her adorable pout.

he then returned his attention to the mask, and was suddenly struck by an intense thought, an urge:

try it on.

unseen, his gaze flickered back up to ros, who had continued rambling softly about how frustrating the failed fifteen attempts were. normally, he would have listened to every word from ros' mouth with rapture, but his brain was fixated on the thought.

he didn't want to wait for ros to leave. no, his mind called, despite all reason, try it on now.

but that would require ros to see my face, he thought back, and...

he wasn't bothered by that, actually. he hadn't shown anyone his face on the realm, a hesitance always keeping him from doing so, but he had long since decided that ros and sneeg would be the first. it was just a matter of... when he finally felt comfortable.

and finally, his subconscious decided that that moment was right now, apparently. a bit overdue, honestly.

without allowing himself to second guess himself, he pulled back his jester hood, letting his curly black hair spill free. he distantly heard ros make a confused, questioning noise, and as he fumbled with the clasp of the straps on the back of his head, he heard a loud, startled squeak as she realized what was happening.

he finally managed to one-handedly undo the clasp, and after pulling it off, he was met with the sight of ros having jumped back a few inches, her hands desperately smacked over her eyes.

he couldnt help but smile teasingly at her antics, "ros?"

"you- wuh- huh!?" she stuttered out, bewildered. "you- you were taking off your mask!"

"yes, i was?"

"but!? your face!? i cant see your face!!"

"why not, ros?"

"because- because you're really private about that!?"

affection flooded through him, and his teasing smile became more soft. it was truly touching how ros was so respectful of his private nature, even when he couldn't be more obvious about where his boundaries laid now.

placing both masks on the desk in front of him, he stood, reaching forward and cupping one of ros' hands with his own. she startled, clearly having not heard him get closer in her reeling.

"ros," he muttered coyly, "why would i take my mask off right in front of you if i didn't want you to see my face?"

the architect opened her mouth to retort, then quickly shut it again, her face flushing in embarrassment, "i.. well! i was just... caught off-guard, you know!? you gave me no warning that something so important would happen, clown!"

something so important, his heart echoed. he didn't know how she managed to burrow her words so thoroughly into him without even intending to.

he patted the back of her hand, urging her to move it, "well then, roscumber, i'm telling you now. i want you to look at my face."

there was a pause as she nodded at his words. she took in a shaky breath, as if hyping herself up, before she finally tore her hands away from her face, taking clown's hand with them.

he could tell the moment she registered what she was looking at when she froze, her darting eyes her only remaining movement. he could tell when she took in his red irises, his crooked-from-battle nose, the facial scars he acquired from porcelain-cracking crystals and axe strikes.

he didn't break eye contact with her, even as his heart pounded in his chest.

finally, the silence broke,

"oh..." ros whispered softly, as if she didn't realize he could hear her. "you're really pretty, clown."

against his will, he could feel his cheeks grow warm, such a sincere compliment taking him off guard. he saw the moment ros realize she had said that aloud, her face violently flushing an adorable pink.

"what!?" she yelped as he began to laugh, "i'm right!"

she smacked her hands over her mouth, clearly not having meant to say that either, and he laughed harder as she let a muffled, frustrated yell into her hands.

"well, i'm glad you think that, ros. you're pretty too, you know." he winked at her.

he savored the smile that tugged at her lips, despite her embarrassment, "aww... thank you, clown."

"always, ros. now! there was a reason why i decided to show you my face now." he announced, only getting a glimpse of her perking up as he turned back towards the desk.

he picked up the kintsugi mask delicately, before placing it into its creator's hands.

"i want you to help me try it on, ros."

#the realm smp #trsmp #roscumber #clownpierce #rospierce #churro chirps #ITS YA BIRD BACK AT IT AGAIN. WRITING A FIC DIRECTLY INTO A TUMBLR POST WITH NO GRAMMAR OR BETA READING #FUCK IT WE BALL #anyway i see that you guys arent giving my rospierce writing as many notes as the clownsnag mini-fic.... cowards... /silly #anyway. i will probably write something rosnag after this. or finally a proper poly losa fic. just complete the trifecta #anyway im gonna piss off my bestie who doesnt even go here because they have a beloved oc with a whole kintsugi thing #love you rae <3 #i just needed to write a “clown face reveals to ros and theyre cute about it” fic. plus clown gets a cool new mask!!! waow!!!!#surely he will wear it to the ball and nothing bad will happen at the ball and losa can just have a nice fun time together. right guys????

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