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kyndaris · 2 years ago

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A Jaded Bookstore

A week or so after my date with Spring, I met up with bachelor number 6. Tall, Caucasion, with a head of wild unruly curls and younger than me by four years, he was the only one to offer the date that I’d been craving from the start. A first date at Kinokuniya - the Japanese bookstore in the heart of the city. So, you can imagine the dilemma I found myself in. How could I say ‘no’ to books? Even if the date turned out terribly, it was simply impossible to tear myself away from the bait that had been lain before this bookworm.

Not that there were any immediate red flags when it came to Mr 6 - who shall henceforth be called Benoit. Plus, it was going to be a date in the middle of the day AND it was in a populated store. No chance of being brutally murdered. I hoped.

Benoit met me outside the store. Or, at least he tried to, but since I’m a slippery eel of a bookworm, I’d managed to sneak in and head to my favourite section: Fantasy and Science Fiction. After looking through a few titles, I saw a notification on my phone and responded sheepishly that I had slipped into the store but would try to meet him at the entrance. Once introductions were properly made, we resumed roaming the shelves of my favourite genres and chatted generally about our lives.

Much of the conversation devolved into him - Benoit - asking me a few questions and me responding. Once I had finished, I often had to remind myself to reverse the question and learn more about him as well. You know, simple getting to know each other stuff. A dance one would think I’m already aware of having gone on quite a few first dates.

Alas, I can see why people want to skip the small talk.

Regardless, somehow the conversation came round to Rian Johnson’s Knives Out film. It was probably because I was recounting how utterly disappointing Amsterdam was. In any case, we both expressed our delight at the upcoming Glass Onion film (yes, this was in early November 2022. I know the post is up in February 2023 but give a girl a break when it comes to detailing the adventures of her love life, will you?), even as we strolled through the Fantasy and Sci-Fi section for several long minutes as I pondered what books to buy.

Was I disappointed that he didn’t offer to buy my books for me? A bit. But in our current economy (or the economy of November 2022), it didn’t feel appropriate to demand such favourable treatment. Especially when Benoit was still studying to be a speech pathologist.

Can you imagine? Truly? Me, the woman was raking in more dough - albeit saddled with a hefty mortgage - requesting a poor penniless University-aged boy (okay, they probably aren’t that destitute nor is the world so Dickensian) to buy me gifts on the first date? It just wouldn��t be fair.

After all, I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need to man. Except maybe Henry Cavill’s depiction of Geralt of Rivia. Or Viggo Mortensen’s portrayal of Aragon?

Phew! When did it get so steamy in here? And what was I talking about again?

Ah, that’s right. The date with Benoit. So, because we both liked our mystery thriller films and Benoit himself was fascinated by accents, especially the ridiculous one affected by Daniel Craig, his codename was formed.

Once I had roamed my fill, I walked away with two novels. Benoit, too, had also picked out a novel he had been eyeing for a while. Jade City by Fona Lee. Apparently he, like a bookish online friend that I know who reads this blog but doesn’t like or comment on these posts, had also fallen for quite a few Chinese authors and was also dabbling with their online works. He also heaped quite a bit of praise on Cixin Liu and the Three-Body Problem.

It’s probably a sign that I ought to buy a few of his novels and give them a spin myself. See what the fuss is all about.

By the time we had shopped to our hearts content, our stomachs were grumbling for food. Eager to have a variety of options for lunch, we headed towards Pitt Street Mall and the food court on the upper levels rather than the one down underneath Myers. After all, this was a first-rate date. It needed to be fancy. No expensive McDonalds burgers for us!

Though Benoit was able to settle for a karaage rice bowl, I was less decisive with my food options. It wasn’t after a few minutes of looking through everything that was on offer before I settled on going Greek and grabbed a pita wrap from Zeus Street Greek.

FANCY!

And just like our conversation in the bookstore, Benoit would ask me question after question. I suppose the one thing I felt could have been better was if he allowed some topics to breathe. Instead of dissecting more on the lore of World of Warcraft, he would jump to the number of pets I had rather than allow for a sizable rant about what the writers had done to poor Sylvanas character and the blatant favouritism shown to the Alliance over Horde leaders.

Not that I’ve played World of Warcraft much over the years. I’ve dabbled with it but each new expansion seems to retcon backstory or walk back character developments so quick as to give anyone that wants to follow the lore whiplash.

Regardless, I learned that he had an older sister that had gotten him invested into the Warcraft universe, that he wasn’t much of a comic reader and that he had gone back to university to pursue something he was passionate about instead of coasting on his first degree that had proven to be less than enjoyable.

Once lunch was done, we even had pancakes at gram!

Big fluffy pancakes that left me stuffed and unable to move.

But as with all good things, the date had to come to an end. As we both took the train, we headed to the closest train station. And as we said our goodbyes, Benoit leaned over and gave me a hug before I could duck out of the way! The sheer nerve of the man! How dare he!

Still, trying to be polite, I patted him awkwardly on the back and so, the date concluded.

While I like to keep an open mind, a part of me wonders if Benoit will be the one. He did offer a second date to watch Glass Onion when it was in cinemas but I was busy during that time. A disappointment, to be true, but after I’d managed to catch it on Netflix, I was able to provide him with quite a few insights on what I thought about the sequel movie to Knives Out.

Can I just say that the ending, as they were smashing the glass statues, I was honestly terrified for Helen’s feet. She was wearing open-toed sandals for goodness sake! She could have totally cut herself up if she hadn’t been careful!

Other than that, my favourite character was Peg and her ‘so done with this bullshit’ attitude when it came to dealing with Birdie. I don’t think I could ever willingly get into such a toxic codependent relationship - be it with a partner or friends - but I loved how Jessica Henwick portrayed Peg in the film. Including her outfits that weren’t quite cool enough.

Don’t get me started on the stretching in the background when everyone was still getting introduced. So good!

Long story short, I just wanted an outlet to talk about Glass Onion following everyone falling in love with Daniel Craig as the gay southern detective. And maybe ruminate on relationships? I don’t know. Probably not.

It just felt good to chat with someone that I can connect with when it came to talking about mystery who-dunnits. Now we just need Kenneth Branagh’s Hercule Poirot (I’ve honestly been loving the Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile. The fact that Emma Mackey got to display her acting chops beyond Sex Education is GREAT!) to go up against Daniel Craig’s Benoit Blanc and see who is the superior scenery chewing detective with a ridiculous accent.

What? You want more? You're saying that it's not enough to just chat about something I like and that you want a deep discourse about the human condition or something something connection with another being?

Fine. Well, there’s still the second date with Spring that I can ruthlessly dissect for your reading leisure. Stay tuned to the next episode of...

DATE 2.0: The Kyndaris Story.

Yes, I’ve even added a secondary title to it. I hope you’re happy about living vicariously through my relationship failures.

#personal blog #dating #bookstore date #gram #greek food #world of warcraft lore #benoit blanc #glass onion

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ooops-i-arted · 4 years ago

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Child development/Dad-thoughts for Season 2 Episode 8???

Poor little guy. He has to be so terrified and traumatized by the time we see him again - ripped away from his father by scary bad droids, threatened by Gideon and his scary black sword, weakened from using his powers and blood loss, and we don’t even know if he was awake for any medical procedures that surely would have involved his autonomy, personhood, and fears being completely ignored let alone scary ouchy needles/medical tools. It’s hard to gauge how he’s doing since we don’t have the entire picture of what he experienced, although we can assume it had to be terrifying. But when we see him again, he’s patiently sitting by Gideon, apparently having complete faith that Dad will come save him and defeat the bad guy.

I do feel this episode hugely dropped the ball by not showing us Grogu being reunited with Din once Gideon is defeated and Din unshackles him. It’s such an important missing piece - last we saw Grogu was so terrified he was giving in the Dark Side and harming stormtroopers, then he’s sitting (I infer) paralyzed with fear/scared enough to be quiet and still because of Gideon, and next we see he’s tucked in Din’s arms again. How was he feeling to be reunited with his dad? Did Din comfort and reassure him (it would be ooc for Din not to at this point imo)? Did he feel better knowing that Dad came for him after all? Sure, we can infer all that, but it’s a big emotional beat that should’ve been present because it impacts The Big Grogu Moment we get later: Grogu choosing to go with Luke.

I’m not gonna lie, I was really surprised the show went this direction since it seemed like they were setting up Din choosing to keep Grogu as his own and I have my reservations about the story going this way tbh. But I think Luke taking Grogu (for now) does work.

Season 2 Grogu is a much happier, well-adjusted, and more mature child than Season 1 Grogu. Season 1 Grogu was quiet, subdued; he had moments of comfort or testing limits but overall generally made himself less noticeable and was hesitant to indicate his needs or wants to anyone, even Din. Season 2 Grogu is a much more average child; he knows he can indicate what he needs to Din and it will be provided for, even something as the simple emotional comfort of uppies; he chatters more often and isn’t afraid to be more curious, more defiant, and just express himself. In Season 1 Grogu didn’t even ask for food - probably thinking he’d be ignored - he just caught that frog by himself; Season 2 Grogu has a loving dad who tells him “I see you’re hungry, we’ll get you some food.” Season 1 Grogu generally just follows Din around, not wanting him out of his sight but rarely requesting interaction until the end of the season but waiting for it to be offered instead; Season 2 Grogu is always running to Din the second he needs anything. Does trauma magically go away? No, Grogu is still affected. But he’s clearly healing and growing under Din’s care, and having a stable adult in the child’s life is one of the biggest things that can reduce a child being affected by Adverse Childhood Experiences.

Grogu seems to know who Luke is, or at least recognize him as a Jedi. My guess is he did connect with Luke during the Scotty Beam Me Up scene. So it’s not like a stranger showed up to take him away, this is someone he has “met” and “talked to”. And since Grogu has the Force, he can sense for sure that this is a nice person and someone who truly can teach him, which eliminates some of the guesswork you usually get when a kid meets their new teacher/a stranger. So while it looks to Din like some random guy just showed up for his kid, there was more stuff going on below the surface that Din (and the audience) didn’t really see because It’s The Force. So it isn’t like Grogu is being sent off with the first strange Jedi who rolls up (like on Corvus).

Grogu certainly doesn’t act afraid of Luke or anything other than friendly. The only issue is separating from his beloved dad. Grogu will not go unless the person he loves and trusts most in the entire world says it’s okay for him to do so. He goes up to the screen and almost seems like he wants Din to look and show him “This is an okay guy. Look he kills things just like you, Dad.” before pointing and trying to get the adults to open the door. And I definitely got the impression Grogu is calling or otherwise trying to commune with Luke through the Force, telling him “Hey we’re on the bridge, come save us and meet my Dad.” So Grogu is open and willing to start interacting with Luke - as long as it’s okay with Din. (And Din in turn trusts Grogu enough to open the doors when Grogu says it’s cool, this guy is okay.)

The #1 thing that makes Luke taking Grogu work for me is that everyone’s consent is involved. Grogu may be a small child who still needs an adult guardian and guidance in his life but that doesn’t mean he should be carted around without taking his feelings into consideration. This isn’t like a few episodes ago, where Din tried to hand Grogu over without really seeing if Grogu or Ahsoka were okay with it. Luke addresses Grogu directly and treats him like a person, accepting that Grogu needs to be involved in this decision; Luke also addresses Din’s worries and even speaks up on Grogu’s behalf (”He wants your permission”). Grogu is clearly open to the idea of going with Luke - if he didn’t want to, Luke would certainly say so - but also wants to make sure Din is okay with it. And while Din balks at first, once he realizes that Luke can offer Grogu the training he can’t, he gives Grogu permission to go and even gives him a special good-bye so that Grogu knows how much he means to Din. And the face-touch seemed to me, at least, to be Grogu saying, Don’t worry Dad, it’s okay to try and reassure him. And Din tells him in turn “Don’t be afraid.” The separation is hard, but Din and Grogu both realize that Grogu needs to be trained to use his powers safely. They’re willing to do what’s right, even when it’s hard, which takes a lot of emotional maturity. Grogu has certainly grown indeed.

Realistically this probably should’ve taken a lot more time - Din going with Luke to help transition Grogu - but 1. this is a tv show and 2. this is still better than small children usually get in media anyway, since people tend to lump anyone under age 5 as “cute and/or annoying prop for the adult characters.” Also, we the audience know Luke (the real one, not the OOC Rian Jackoff version). We know Luke is compassionate and kind and will take good care of Grogu. If Grogu is troubled by leaving his beloved dad, Luke will do his best to guide Grogu through it, and I personally think that if Grogu ultimately decided this wasn’t for him and wanted Dad? Luke would pack him up in the X-wing and fly him right to Din. So ymmv but Luke training Grogu works for me and I think Grogu is in good hands.

I don’t wanna super go into The Discourse but since I know it’s gonna come up in the fandom and since I am a big Jedi fan, I’ll briefly address the whole No Attachments/Jedi Attitudes thing:

No Attachments refers to No Possessiveness, not You Can’t Love Anyone. The Jedi don’t discourage compassion and love and even family ties, just the whole I’d Commit Genocide For My Loved One (looking at you, Anakin). This post specifically refutes the comments Filoni made in the Making the Mandalorian show and goes into it way better than I could, if you’re interested. I’ll just pull out this George Lucas quote: “But [Anakin] has become attached to his mother and he will become attached to Padme and these things are, for a Jedi, who needs to have a clear mind and not be influenced by threats to their attachments, a dangerous situation.” So Grogu loving and caring about Din isn’t an issue - it’s only an issue when he’s willing to harm and endanger others over it (like choking Cara) or when he becomes so afraid he lashes out without thinking (the stormtrooper free-for-all).

Which is why it’s so important Grogu be trained by someone who knows and understands the power he has. Even if Grogu still decides not to be a Jedi, he needs to know how to control himself and his power so he doesn’t hurt anyone.

Jedi are allowed contact with family and embrace their original cultures as shown throughout Star Wars media. There’s no reason to think Luke will snatch Grogu and never let him and Din see each other again even if Luke did follow the prequel Jedi completely (which he didn’t in Legends anyway, which honestly makes more sense to me since so much Jedi knowledge was lost/destroyed by the Empire).

People have always been allowed to leave the Jedi Order. If Grogu or Din decide “Nope, can’t do this, I want him back” Luke would 100% support them making a decision that works for both of them.

We follow Anakin and Revan because they’re interesting characters and because conflict makes good stories. The Jedi Order didn’t work for them but most Jedi seem pretty well-adjusted so... I don’t tend to think Anakin is really the baseline we should be going by, y’know? Grogu has past trauma but he’s been with people who care for him and listen to him. And not to knock Din at all, but Luke being able to communicate with Grogu is a huge advantage and will actually probably be really good for Grogu. So I think Grogu is in good hands and won’t be Ruined Forever by training as a Jedi.

And of course Din says they’ll meet again. He promised. (And Din & Grogu are Disney’s chief moneymaking duo these days, you want to make your audience worry about your dream team, not break them up permanently.) So I think Grogu will be reunited with his beloved dad. And while the parting was certainly heartbreaking, for now he’s in good hands who will help him continue to grow and thrive.

#i certainly have MANY reservations about how the jedi will be portrayed in the future bc the writers always give htem the shaft but #well that's a worry for another day #friendly reminder this is a pro jedi blog and always will be #the mandalorian #baby yoda meta #baby yoda

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lilydalexf · 4 years ago

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Old School X is a project interviewing X-Files fanfic authors who were posting fic during the original run of the show. New interviews are posted every Tuesday.

Interview with Sarah Ellen Parsons

Sarah Ellen Parsons has 18 X-Files stories at Gossamer and 19 at AO3. If you want high quality fic with interesting characters, go read her stories. Some of my favorites of her fics are The Crouching Thing and My Constant Touchstone Who Makes Me A Whole Person (which are two very different stories!). Big thanks to Sarah Ellen for doing this interview.

Does it surprise you that people are still interested in reading your X-Files fanfics and others that were posted during the original run of the show (1993-2002)?

With today's binge-watching culture, I'm not at all surprised. You can watch a bunch of eps and then seek out fic that is where you are in the series.

What do you think of when you think about your X-Files fandom experience? What did you take away from it?

I took away a writer's group Yes, Virginia, that is still together. Mostly as friends, but whenever I write something, or someone else writes something, it's the first place we all run for machete beta. I have betad SO MANY novels.

We have a number of folks who are published writers since then and our time in X-Files fic brought us lifelong friendships IRL and made us all better at our craft. The majority of those folks were better writers than I am. And I make my living as a writer in my day-job.

Social media didn't really exist during the show's original run. How were you most involved with the X-Files online (atxc, message board, email mailing list, etc.)?

I belonged to a couple of the largest lists and posted there and bitched about the show on usenet with everyone else. We had our own Yahoo group for beta. We all had crappy GeoCities websites that we programmed the HTML for ourselves and hooked through various fandom link circles to get traffic to our stories. But the main method of distribution was the lists.

Fun fact, I found a free page counter thing that I used at work one time through fandom. So fandom pays off in skillz.

Even without social media, we managed to get our stories in front of readers who would enjoy them. Where there's a will, there's always someone ready to step up and find a way.

What did you take away from your experience with X-Files fic or with the fandom in general?

Again, I have lifelong friends IRL that I got solely from fanfiction. That's the best takeaway.

Fandom disappointed me because it, like everything else, is ruined by people's egos, backstabbing, and petty people who get in positions of power and then use those positions to punch down or dictate. I was young when I was writing X-Files and I still had hope that people would rise to their better natures, so I got involved in various futile efforts to try to make people behave the way I wanted them to behave, I guess. I did a lot of public bitching that didn't serve me or my friends well. I now put that effort into politics, where it does actual good.

What was it that got you hooked on the X-Files as a show?

X-files was made for me. It combined science fiction, mystery, horror. I love all of those genres. Plus there was Scully. No matter how sexist that writer's room was, Scully was awesome. But you kept seeing bad writing. Even in the heyday seasons, like Season 3, there were really terrible eps that made you want to fix things.

I'm a lifelong speculative fiction fan and a published feminist science fiction author. I actually was published before I fell down the fic hole. I got involved in fanfic due to getting my fantasy novel turned down from every major publisher for being "too dark". And I needed to get readers to see my stuff to prove to myself that I wasn't terrible at writing. I got a ton of feedback and it was like market research to see what people wanted to read.

My time in fanfiction made me 100% a better writer than I was.

What got you involved with X-Files fanfic?

I went to the X-Files Expo to see if I could make contact with someone from Harper Collins because the tie-in novels sucked so hard. I got rejected with my pitch as I didn't have a literary agent.

Around that time, a pal who I watched X-Files with IRL was looking for a free X-files wallpaper for her work computer when she found the website where fans in Pennsylvania had fic archived. She read some and wrote to me - "you need to see this, and you can do better." So I started reading and was.... I probably CAN do better. So I wrote The Batman Plot. And made two friends I'm still friends with with that one story.

What is your relationship like now to X-Files fandom?

Nonexistent. I couldn't even watch the latest season and I saw only 2 of season one of whatever that was before I gave up. I have never watched the second movie.

X-files is my first fandom bad ex-husband. I loved it SO MUCH, but it betrayed me.

Were you involved with any fandoms after the X-Files? If so, what was it like compared to X-Files?

I was deep into Harry Potter for a while, but I didn't end up publishing anything in it. All my stories were novel-length and I was writing so much for work, I never completed anything. I called Snape/Lily when Prisoner of Azkaban was published and got Jossed by Rowling in one of my big ideas. (This is bad fandom ex-husband 2. JKR will never get a dime of money from me again because of her hateful stance on transfolk. I have RL friends who are trans and NO.)

I wrote fic in Supernatural. It was the obvious next thing after X-Files. However, the misogyny and bringing in all the Angel/Devil Christofascist stuff lost me. The ep where they declared all other religions other than Christianity as invalid and killed a Hindu god made me stop watching for good. I know enough Christofascists IRL that I can't tolerate it in my fiction. (Bad fandom ex-husband 3)

Who are some of your favorite fictional characters? Why?

This list is far too long to actually make. But characters I spent time writing about include: Kirk, Spock, McCoy and Co. (I wrote three unpublished Star Trek novels before I found online fandom). King Arthur and Morgan Le Fay, Sherlock Holmes (I wrote a Sherlock Holmes play after seeing "Crucifer of Blood" and entered it in a national competition, where I got very nice comments back.), Mulder, Scully and Krycek, Rowling's Hermione and Snape (like him or not, its masterful characterization), Dean and Sam Winchester, John Winchester and Bobby Singer. I wrote one comedy story starring Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. A couple of Roswell stories under a different name. Catwoman and Batman. I have some unpublished Avengers fanfic lying around as I'm an OG Marvel fan with a massive comic collection.

Do you ever still watch The X-Files or think about Mulder and Scully?

I was on a business trip a few years ago and FX had a marathon and I watched part of it when I was in my hotel room. Early seasons are comforting, but I don't go back there now.

Do you ever still read X-Files fic? Fic in another fandom?

I don't read X-Files fic anymore. I read a tiny bit of Star Wars after the second movie because Rian Johnson had it right. Now I don't care. I love Mandalorian, but am content to watch.

Do you have any favorite X-Files fanfic stories or authors?

Too many to count. All of YV. Which reminds me, I need to go update our entry at Fanlore. I promised Punk I'd do it a while back. I need to at least get everyone linked. Right now it's only Punk and Sab.

But it was a ton of us. Marasmus, Maria Nicole, Cofax, CazQ, M. Sebasky, Livia Balaban, Kelly Keil, Wen, Ropobop, Jess Mabe, JET, fialka, and a bunch of others that I can't remember their fic names any more, just their real names because I know them all IRL. I need to go back and look up their fic names and link them up there.

In addition to my little group of pals, I loved reading Mustang Sally and Rivka T, Rachel Anton - I keep trying to find her to encourage her to write romance if she's not doing it already, but no dice, Dasha K., Anjou, there were so many great ones, but their names have slipped my mind in the past 20 years.

What is your favorite of your own fics, X-Files and/or otherwise?

I'm most known for Prone, and I'm proud of that story for all kinds of reasons, but I think my very best is The Crouching Thing.

I mostly didn't publish anything I didn't think was good and hadn't been machete betaed within an inch of its life, but I'm not sure much of the angsty romance stuff holds up as well. I think it worked when the show was still ON and we were all in that emotional headspace, but probably not now.

Do you think you'll ever write another X-Files story? Or dust off and post an oldie that for whatever reason never made it online?

Funny you ask. I am currently reworking a plot idea I had for an X-Files fic into a contemporary M/M novel, which I will publish under a different pen-name. The plot is the idea I had for X-Files, the characters are very, very different other than one is uptight and the other more easy-going. But no more Mulder and Scully.

Do you still write fic now? Or other creative work?

I have been making my living as a writer for 25 years. I write the word count equivalent of 5 Tolkein novels a year, just for my day-job. I am turning back to original fiction, which is where I was before X-Files. I'm working on the M/M thing, a high fantasy thing, a low fantasy historical thing and a bunch of M/F Regency romances as I get time and energy. I publish Fantasy and SF under my real name. Romance has pen names as you don't want that getting back to your workplace, either.

SEP is fic only and here she will stay.

Where do you get ideas for stories?

I have too many ideas to count. I try to write them down when they come, so I won't forget. At least the outline of the idea. Often a scene. I've been like this my entire life. I started writing novels seriously at 15. I wrote a 500 plus page one about Morgan Le Fay during breaks in high school because "Mists of Avalon" pissed me off so bad as I'd read the original source material and that was a Wicca recruitment polemic.

What's the story behind your pen name?

Sarah Ellen was my great-grandma, Parsons was her grandma's last name.

Do your friends and family know about your fic and, if so, what have been their reactions?

Half my friends ARE fic friends. Most of my friends know as does my brother, who thinks writing for free is dumb. This is universally agreed on by non-fic friends who know. My mother still doesn't know about the fic. Just the "real" writing. I write under a pen name to keep it away from my job and my published work.

Is there a place online (tumblr, twitter, AO3, etc.) where people can find you and/or your stories now?

My X-files stuff is up on Gossamer mostly. I'm trying to get the stories all moved to AO3 for all the genres. I'm working on this now. SEP is really not a living thing anymore, but there was a time when she was more me than me.

If you want to find my "real" non-fic writing, write to me at se_parsons at yahoo dot com and I will point you at it.

And PLEASE someone, hunt down Rachel Anton and get her writing something we all can BUY. Where are my old Krycek bitches at? Do any of you know where she is? [Lilydale note: I’ve tried contacting Rachel Anton for this Old School X project but have not had luck. I would love to find her too!]

Is there anything else you'd like to share with fans of X-Files fic?

The community I loved has mostly moved on, but I think we left a legacy of solid work crafted out of our love for the show. Find a living community you love for a show you love. There are great people out there creating and get involved. It will be worth it.

(Posted by Lilydale on December 15, 2020)

#new post #old school x #xfiles fanfic #xf fanfic #xf fanfic author interviews #sarah ellen parsons

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sanstropfremir · 3 years ago

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second part of that long ask from ur swf anon :)

after the main dancer was chosen for each class, they would complete the choreo and decide formations for their performances. one of the benefits of the main dancer was that they were always center. they also had the benefit of wearing more embellished clothing to stand out (most noticeable in x class, where rian the main dancer was wearing orange while everyone else was wearing green). here is the full list (mnet truly has the WORST camera angles, so i only included the full cam ver of the performances):

1. assistant class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aF2evLz98h4&ab_channel=MnetTV

2. leader class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=srjJzRVVmxc&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

the judges shared that even though no:ze was the main dancer/in the center/had the most shiny outfit, they didn't really see her. all the other dancers, in their opinion, stood out and overpowered her.

3. sub class: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mY_3E7W8v30&ab_channel=CHANNIECHANNEL

4. x class (i'm not sure what this class was called): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fC-_8fbn_s4&ab_channel=Whatthejess

judges shared that lip j was the stand out of this class. she's the girl on the far left at 0:36. (it was originally her choreo but rian was chosen as the main dancer so that's why she is credited.)

*i only included comments that were stand outs.

i'm not sure how much creative input the main dancers were given regarding stage design... they didn't show it in the episode so i'm assuming that mnet just told them to show up and perform (because like, the rainbow thing they shot at the end of the leader's performance seemed so random? it didn't match what they were doing). after each performance, the main dancers from each class were asked to pick someone who they thought was the worst dancer. in doing so, the person chosen would lose points for their crew.

judges also chose an mvp crew they thought were the best. prowdmon (monika + lip j + others [sorry i don't know their names. the show really only focuses on these two]) was selected and this gave them the advantage of choosing which crews went against each other in ep4. so, it wasn't a random lottery draw! in the episode, they only showed the part where prowdmon chose to go against wayb (context: no:ze, the main dancer from the leader class, chose monika as the worst dancer. and this made her mad so she was like we're going against wayb - no:ze's crew). i'm not sure why they didn't show how the other crews were paired up. because ya, coca n butter + hook is definitely an interesting match.

also like, wayb was eliminated from the show after ep4's mission.

and it seems like from here on out, there will be a mission each episode to determine who will be eliminated. i'm honestly not too sure. for their next mission, they're doing a mega crew mission and mnet doesn't really explain it; but it seems like each crew is doing a performance on a larger scale (with more members added to their crew). also, like mnet is ass and doesn't upload all the performances onto their channel..... they only upload the ones that were the most popular/had the biggest public reaction which is why i had a hard time finding the clips for the classes mission. hopefully they do from here on out.

another v long post. thank u again for reading and sharing ur thoughts! always love hearing them. (also, pls let me know if i'm oversharing. u mentioned not caring for the competitive nature and drama so i'm not sure if i was adding too much. there really isn't drama imo. mnet tries to do their best to edit and make it seem that way but when u watch the show, the girls truly root for each other and are friends.)

mnet truly has the worst camera angles i hate them so much. also why are they still streaming on a goddamn potato. the quality is SO bad i can barely see anything!! there's a lot of me complaining in this one i'm sorry in advance.

1. assistant class

i have to assume that whoever they chose as the main dancer is the one that stays in centre because i cannot tell from the clothing at all. i don't think she was a standout performer here, but also the camera and the fire effects are WAY too wild to actually get a good grasp on who even was the standout. i also have to assume that the dancers have no say in the design because design is not a big part of street dance and this kind of chaos screams m 'too-much-money-dont-know-how-to-use-it' net. they built this massive set, barely used it, and didn't leave enough room for the proper formation spacing!! ugh. i hope the judges actually got to see a locked off version of this without all that fire in front of the camera because if i were them i would be squinting down the end of my glasses like a grandma at the screen. that's what i was doing anyways but still.

2. leader class

i have to agree, i don't think noze stood out as the main dancer here. and geniunely i cannot tell that they embellished her costume more. like damn, that stylist took a masterclass in subtlety, because i was easily paying more attention to whoever was wearing those massive thigh high cutout garter stockings and woven bodysuit combo. i am assuming that the point of these challenges was probably to be noticed the most so that they can score points and pick who they went up against for the elimination round? i'm not entirely clear but my point remains; ngl i don't really like this method of creating performance because it means that no one is there to create a performance, yanno? troupe/group choreo like this thrives on teamwork to actually make it a good performance. i know it's a pretty classic method of weeding out people for auditions and stuff like that but personally i find it a wholly uncompelling viewing experience, especially when it's a fully produced stage like this. i know everyone very likely gets along behind the scenes but the incohesion of intent is very obvious. also what's up with the assistant class getting a massive set and the leaders getting a bunch of cars and some smoke pyrotechnics? i mean, i am glad they filmed it during the day, but i am confused by the disparity.

3. sub class

i wish i could describe how poorly mnet shot this. it's not a fucking mama stage, it's a dance stage!! we need to see the choreo properly!!!! and together!!! obviously i don't care about stitching together different takes for the final edit but just...not having a continuity at all in the choreo is a bit jarring. again, i am also not sure how one is supposed to evaluate how well these dancers did, because i can barely see what people are doing. or who the main dancers are. i know i'm railing a lot on mnet here but i can't give an accurate reading of the dancers because legitimately it is so hard to tell what's going on. if they want to bill this as a legitimate dance show, why are they shooting it like a kpop performance? the camerawork for kpop serves a specific function: to add to the visual spectacle and to highlight the idols' faces. you don't need either of those things for shoot choreography, so why do we keep getting closeups of dancers' faces? not that these dance videos aren't spectacle-y or fun, because they very much are, but they really suck at their one primary function, which is displaying the choreo.

4. x class

this is definitely the one where the camera work is the closest to what it should be, but then they go and fuck it up by adding rain! just the groundwater would have been fine, but noooo they had to add the extra rain so there would be extra water drops on the lens!! this is my favourite choreo of all four of these, i think there's the most cohesion and (excluding the rain) it's got a good mix of spectacle with the water and the blacklight and the right camera angles to show the choreo mostly well. i still don't understand why they cut in those sections that don't fit with the rest of the flow though. why. you could have one-taked this and it would have looked dope as fuck. i agree that lip j stands out the most, obviously it's her choreo so it's the best suited to her character and abilities.

---

if it wasn't a random lottery draw they should at least have the courtesy of showing people why who picked who!! that's the most interesting part! and i'm not that surprised about wayb being eliminated, prowdmon really stomped them into the ground with that revenge energy. i'm interested in this larger scale performances concept, because i'm not really sure what that looks like in this particular context. if they do end up on youtube i will review them! and you're not oversharing at all, the context is fine! i don't mind reading it as information, i just don't like actually watching it with my own eyes. i can't watch that kind of thing in reality tv because it makes me want to sit everyone down like a kindergarden teacher and go "ok, now why are we all yelling?". too many years of tense rehearsal conflict negotiation and i just want to whack everyone upside the head. it's not very cathartic for me lmao. i have no doubt that everyone is friends because dance scenes are small and i'm sure they've all worked together lots, but even just the editing sets off my fight or fight reflexes.

#street woman fighter #swf #swf reviews #yes i did mean fight or fight i have no flight reflex #i only know violence or advanced conflict management #go into theatre they said. costume design is fun they said #little did 18yro me know i was going to be yelling at actors for eating in costume and trying to convince directors out of stupid ideas #for 90% of my working hours #anyways swf anon i'm sorry this is mostly complaining and not really talking about the dancing #i will try to do more of that for the next episode #for a show supposedly about street dance there's not very much street dance? even the battles are kinda wonky #they dont follow the rules very well and theyre skewed waaaaayyyyyy more towards musicality/showmanship than technique #which is the opposite of how battles usually are graded. i know that it's likely because they don't have actual battle judges #(no disrespect to boa. but i don't think being a battle judge has been a career calling for her)#but its still a bit hmmm for me. i know the idols and the connection to the idol industry is probably what's bring in the views but #it is a very different industry than the street dance one #text #answers

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redrascal1 · 3 years ago

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Why being permabanned from the JCF was one of the best things that could have happened to me

Ever since TFA I’ve been contributing to SW forums, because it’s interesting to see other’s opinions and also a source of information. Naturally not everyone agrees with you, so I’ve often crossed verbal swords. I quit one forum after being ‘warned’ for defending myself against a Kylo hater rather than reporting him; largely because I’ve never liked the idea of reporting anyone...it just isn’t me. I’d rather stand up to them instead.

Everyone is entitled to like or dislike a fictional character or ship, and entitled to argue the point. But I do not think I have ever come across such toxic hatred for a fictional character and those who like him as I have on the Jedi Council Forums.

I have been accused of ‘sexism’ for saying I didn’t like the way TROS ended with Rey as a perennial virgin( ironically I personally am, and likely to stay that way as I’m asexual...) because I found it unnatural (including myself in that) as Rey had shown a deep desire for family and children. By having her embrace the tired old ‘space monk’ code of the Jedi she is forever denying herself that. I have had the weary old ‘promoting the sexual abuse of women’ rubbish aimed at me because I was a reylo - until they destroyed Rey and reimagined her as a horrible judgemental prig. All this I’ve experienced before so I’m used to it...but what I really find disturbing is the attitude of Finn fans. And two Finn fans in particular.

I’ll call them A & J. Both are women. One confirmed white, not confirmed by the other. And their behaviour towards anyone who likes Kylo - even those who aren’t reylos - is nothing short of bullying.

A is a huge Leia fan. If you have the audacity to point out that the character was a neglectful mother, which Carrie herself confirmed (’ I never should have sent him away’; Leia’s own words) then immediately A accuses you of rampant sexism, and ‘how DARE you ‘demonise’ Leia like that!’

You are then attacked for saying a mother should not have a career (I never said that) and that Kylo was an ‘overprivileged brat’ who deserved ‘everything he got’ for the way he treated his ‘wonderful, heroic parents.’

A has chosen to ignore the fact that during the promotion for TFA, the cast actually stated that Han and Leia were less than stellar parents. Heroes, unfortunately, often are. Leia was focusing on the rebuilding of the Republic and Han was uncomfortable around his son because he was FS. Neither Harrison or Carrie, both parents themselves, were unhappy with this. It’s stated in several ‘canon’ sources. Which A has chosen to ignore, insisting that Bloodline pointed out Kylo as a ‘happy, normal’ child when that was what Leia believed him to be, despite not being around enough to know what he actually felt.

And not one mention of how it was TROS who truly demonised Leia. Whereas both the previous films showed her failures as well meaning mistakes, TROS showed her as a woman who chose not to train her own son when she was capable of doing it herself. It assassinated her character beyond repair and I often wonder if Carrie would have agreed with Leia being portrayed like that if she was still with us.

What worries me is that A is married and a teacher by profession - and also a mother, in real life. And she made one of the most disturbing comments I’ve read, that it’s a ‘good thing’ for women to put their careers before their children as it shows them ‘they are not the centre of your universe’.

We are entitled to like/dislike fictional characters.....but I’m really spooked because this comment by A has nothing to do with SW but is her personal view on real life. And I don’t think any parent, male or female,should put their careers before their families.

And ..then there is J, a dedicated Finn and JB fan. Again, her own choice. But does she really have the right to accuse anyone who doesn’t like either of being a card carrying, knuckle dragging white supremacist?

She accused me as ‘putting the white character before JB’s role as ‘black male lead’ because I simply said the ST ‘should have been Ben’s story’ in a Finn thread. Later, I was permabanned for mentioning Kylo in the same Finn thread - despite other posters often mentioning Kylo, Rey and Finn in threads devoted to other characters. But it isn’t just me. Anyone - anyone - who says the slightest negative thing about JB, such as calling him out on his horrible SM posts after TROS, is accused of racism. Anyone who criticises the Finn character is seen as racist. And although yes, I agree Finn was poorly handled in TROS, I can’t help but get angry when they accuse Rian Johnson of ‘destroying’ the character’ in TLJ when he gave him his own story arc and love interest and did a damn sight more with him than Abrams, who saw him as a lovesick groupie whose role was to follow Rey around shrieking her name every five minutes.

Most of all, I am heartily sick and tired of them accusing AD and Kylo of ‘taking Finn’s rightful role off him’

Excuse me? Kylo had nothing to do with it, he was established as the villain and it certainly wasn’t AD’s fault. He simply played the part. Finn was on the ‘other side’. If his character was reduced it’s down to the survival of the Poe character (some fans, to their credit, have also said this) who was slated to be killed off but wasn’t. But if anyone ‘stole’ anyone’s thunder it’s Rey - she was meant to be the main protagonist of the ST, not Finn. Kylo was the ‘villain’. Finn had more screen time than Kylo did in all three of the films.

Boyega is simply mad that he wasn’t Rey’s romantic love interest, despite DR herself stating the characters were meant to be ‘just friends’. He wasn’t interested in the fact that Finn had two beautiful ladies interested in him, he wanted to ‘lay the pipe’ with Rey. And this lies at the heart of his dissatisfaction with his character’s direction. but is has nothing to do with AD or the Kylo character. Finn fans refuse to accept that as the blood descendant of the OT characters of course Kylo/Ben had to have a major role in the ST. Finn was never conceived as a ‘lead’ character, and it is both spiteful and unfair for JB and his fans to assume it’s because of his ethnicity.

I’m not the only one who has been targeted by J...she has driven three posters to my knowledge off the JCF, one who isn’t even a Kylo fan, with her endless spurious accusations. Yet she gets away with it....because A is a major supporter. And A is a moderator.

As for me, I tend to have a stubborn streak and although I repeatedly told myself engaging with the toxic fantatics permeating the JCF isn’t good for me, I just couldn’t stop. I just had to repeatedly defend Kylo and AD from the increasingly nasty comments, despite it doing nothing for my mental health and personal happiness. So, when I was finally permabanned for once again mentioning Kylo in a ‘some other character’ thread, I’m actually relieved, because I’m now ‘off’ the site. I still read it just to see how the other posters are getting on, and I’ve noticed most of those who like Kylo and even AD are disappearing.

A and J are bit by bit destroying anyone who doesn’t share their opinions and driving them away, reducing the forum to a tedious one character love fest. In short, anyone who doesn’t agree with them isn’t welcome. So much for freedom of speech.

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brentwatchesmovies · 3 years ago

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Brent’s Top 10 Movies of 2019

Scorsese is probably my favorite living filmmaker, but I’ll be honest, when I heard that Scorsese was making this movie, and *how* he was making it (heavily digital de-aged actors) I was a bit skeptical. De Niro and Pacino haven’t been turning in interesting performances in quite awhile, and Pesci came out of a decades-long retirement for the movie as well. On top of that, the first trailer released did little for me. All that to say I was an idiot to doubt the master.

Scorsese returns to the crime genre that he re-invented many times over the years, this time with the eyes of a man in his 70’s, looking back on his life and career. The movie is very long, but in my opinion, it needs the length. The viewer needs to *feel* the totality of a life, and as is his intent with The Irishman, the *consequences* of this specific life. The final hour or so of this movie feels like a culmination of Scorsese’s career in many ways. The energy and entertainment of a crime/mob epic, with the fatalism and philosophical leanings of a movie like ‘Silence’. It’s a 3.5 hour movie that I’ve already rewatched, and actively want to again, so that alone ought to speak volumes.

Harmony Korine made one of my favorite movies of the 2010’s, the neon-soaked and often misunderstood ‘Spring Breakers’, so I was already in the bag for whatever he did next. When I heard it was a freewheeling stoner comedy where Matthew Mcconaughey plays a guy named ‘Moondog’ costarring Snoop Dogg, I reserved its location on my top 10 list.

This movie doesn’t have the empty heart at its core that defines Spring Breakers, opting instead for a character study about a ‘Florida man’ poet after his life pretty much falls apart. It’s basically plotless, stumbling from one insane, borderline hallucinatory sequence to the next, but I just loved living in the world of this movie. Beach Bum almost feels like a deliriously fun VR simulation of hanging out with Matt McConaughey and his weirdo friends down in the Florida keys. This is one that probably won’t pop up on many top 10 lists but I really adore, and will surely rewatch it a dozen times in the years to come.

Let the record show, I’ve been a huge fan of Bong Joon-ho since I first saw his monster movie/family drama ‘The Host’. Some time later, he went on to make ‘Snowpiercer’, one of my favorite movies of the last decade. All that to say, I think Parasite is probably his best movie, and a true masterwork of thriller direction. It also has his usual brand of social commentary and a script filled with darkness and humor, following a South Korean tendency to juggle multiple tones throughout, sometimes all in one moment or scene.

Parasite also follows a big 2019 trend of commenting on class and social dynamics between the rich and the poor. I think that’s part of why it’s done incredibly well at the box office (especially for a Korean language film), the fact that people can relate in a huge way, regardless of which country your from. Parasite is one of the most entertaining movie viewing experiences I’ve had this year and I’d recommend everyone check it out.

If you were to ask me what the funnest movie-going experience I had in 2019 was, I’d have to pick Rian Johnson’s ‘Knives Out’. Hot off making one of the best Star Wars movies ever made (don’t @ me) Johnson decided to make a passion project in the vein of classic Agatha Christie style murder mysteries, and the results are a total blast. Filled with clever twists and turns, weaponizing the structure of murder-mysteries against the audiences expectations, it stays one step ahead of you the entire time.

Aside from the clever mystery of it all, it’s the actors performances and chemistry that really sell this thing. Jamie Lee Curtis and Toni Collette are expectedly great per usual, and Daniel Craig is having the time of his life as Mississippi private-eye Benoit Blanc, but the heart of the movie is relative newcomer Ana de Armas. She brings an emotional weight and anchor to the movie that always keeps you emotionally invested amidst the terrible, money hungry backstabbing by the other heightened characters. I hope everyone sees this movie and Johnson is able to give us another Benoit Blanc adventure somewhere down the line, I’ll be there opening day.

Nobody makes an upbeat, feel-good movie like Ari Aster does! After last years light and breezy ‘Hereditary’ (which I liked a lot but didn’t totally love) he’s back with a completely riveting and emotionally draining (not to mention horrific) masterpiece. What I connected to most in Midsommar is the journey of Dani, played incredibly by Florence Pugh. The way the film portrays the relationship between her and her dog shit boyfriend played by the (usually) charming Jack Reynor keeps you invested in every twist, perfectly paced out over the movies admittedly long runtime.

I won’t get into spoiler territory, but where this movie goes in the end is what makes this a fully 5-star movie for me. After putting you through hell, like Aster loves to do with bells on, Midsommar ends in a euphoric, psychedelic orgy of music and violence that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Midsommar rules so hard and I can’t wait for whatever twisted thing Aster cooks up next.

One of my increasingly favorite brands of movies is a finely crafted, primo slice of dad-movie cinema, and James Mangold has made one with Ford v Ferrari. The story chronicles the partnership of ex-racer and designer Carroll Shelby and racer Ken Miles as they work to make a Ford that can compete in the 24 hour race of Le Mans. Bale and Damon are a blast to watch bounce off each other and the race sequences are pretty damn thrilling, combining (what I expect is) a solid amount of great VFX with practical racing to great effect.

I also didn’t expect it to have as much to say about the struggle to create something special by passionate people and not committees while also inside the very machine that churns out products on an assembly line. Just a random note, this original movie was just put out by 20th Century Fox, now owned by Disney but that’s completely unrelated and I’m not sure why I’d even bring that up??? Anyway, I love this movie and dads, moms and everybody else should check it out.

If you saw my list last year, then it must appear like I’m some diehard Mr. Rogers fan. I don’t really have many memories watching his show as a child, but what the documentary ‘Won’t You be my Neighbor’ and this film by Marielle Heller have in common is a shared fascination of his immense empathy and character. It’s only right that America’s dad Tom Hanks should play him, and I was surprised at the end that I was able to get over his stardom and accept him as Rogers. He’s not doing a direct impersonation, and I think it’s all the better for it, instead opting for matching his soft tone and laid back movements.

On a pure emotional level, this movie was a freight train. It didn’t help that the movie covers a lot of father stuff, from losing your own to becoming one yourself (2 big boxes on the Brent bingo card). Heller’s direction is clever in its weaponizing of meta/post-modern techniques, such as one incredible fourth wall break in a diner scene. It literally breaks down the barrier between Mr. Rogers, we the audience, and the films intent to make us feel something.

I cry a lot at movies, that much is well known, but it’s rare that a movie makes me weep, and this one did. Even thinking about scenes right now, days later, my eyes are welling up with tears thinking about the messages of the movie. Mr. Rogers and his lessons of empathy and emotional understanding have rarely been as vital and important as they are right now in our world.

Robert Eggers first film ‘The Witch’ from 2015 is one of my favorite movies of this decade, possibly of all time, so my hype for his black and white, period piece two-hander ‘The Lighthouse’ was through the roof. Even with sky-high expectations, it still blew me away. With dialogue reminiscent of The Witch in its specific authenticity to its era, to the two lead actors giving all-time great performances, It was one of the most entertaining film viewing experiences I had this year.

There’s something about both of Egger’s movies that I really keyed into watching this one: his fascination with shame and the liberation from it. Where Witch was from the female perspective, Lighthouse literally has two farting, drunk men in a giant phallic symbol fighting for dominance. It’s less a horror film than his first, but still utterly engrossing, demented and specific to his singular vision. I can’t wait to see 20 more movies from this guy.

This is another big movie of 2019, like The Irishman, where you can see the director looking inward, at what his films mean and represent. It initially caught me so off guard that I really didn’t know how to feel about it, but after seeing it again, it’s one of my favorites of the year, and probably Tarantino’s filmography overall. More akin to something like Boogie Nights or Dazed and Confused, letting us live with and follow a small group of characters, it mostly doesn’t feel like a Tarantino movie (until the inevitable and shocking explosion of violence in the third act, of course).

‘Hollywood’ is the most sincere and loving movie Tarantino has made, interested in giving us a send off to an era of Hollywood and artists that have been lost or forgotten (Some more tragically than others). In the end, the movie functions similarly to ‘Inglorious Basterds’ in it’s rewriting of history to give us catharsis. “If only things could have worked out this way.” Luckily in movies, removed from the restrictions of reality, they can. And once upon a time in Hollywood, they did.

Uncut Gems probably tripled my blood pressure by the time the credits rolled. A slice-of-life story about a gambler/dealer in New York’s diamond district, the movie follows Howard Ratner, played by Adam Sandler in easily the best performance of his career. Ratner is basically addicted to living at the edge of a cliff, being chased by violent debt collectors, juggling a home life and a relationship with an employee, and fully relying on risky sports bets to stay afloat. It makes for a consistently tense and unique viewing experience, expertly directed by the Safdie brothers.

Something that might not work for everyone but that I personally loved, is the chaotic way in which the movie is shot. What feels like loosely directed scenes, with characters talking over each other and multiple conversations happening at once, adds an authenticity and reality lacking from most other movies. It’s more adjacent to Linklater (thanks to Adam for the comparison) or Scorsese’s earlier films (also fitting, that he’s a producer on this). Following Howard Ratner as his life descends into chaotic hell was one of the best times I’ve had watching a movie this year.

HONORABLE MENTIONS

AVENGERS ENDGAME

DOLEMITE IS MY NAME

BOOKSMART

JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3

THE FAREWELL

AD ASTRA

#top 10 #movies #2019 #top 10 movies #midsommar #uncut gems #the irishman #martin scorsese

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d3sertdream3r · 4 years ago

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SW Update

I’ve been getting a lot of asks since my last post, so I’m just going to address things and my thoughts on the state of SW real quick.

First off: I LOVE STAR WARS. Just because I have issues with the way things are going for the franchise right now doesn’t mean I hate it. I’m sick of being told I must hate SW so I should move on to something else. You know what? I HAVE moved on. I watched Mando and I’m slightly interested in The High Republic, but I’m watching other shows and playing other games and working and finishing my film degree. That doesn’t mean I don’t care about SW at all anymore because I’ve loved it my entire life and I always will, no matter what dumb decisions the executives make. So yes, I’m going to talk about it from time to time. If you don’t like it, don’t read my posts.

Several people have told me that Mark Hamill’s opinion and the opinions of a few other LF actors and employees that have openly dissed Rian (going so far as to say he “doesn’t understand Star Wars” and another even comparing him to Trump- again these are LF employees, not just FM people) don’t matter. Sorry to break it to you, but their opinions absolutely DO matter. The mess that was TROS should be evidence enough that Disney pays very close attention to personal opinions instead of focusing on the story and the character journeys. But the main reason it matters is because when people paid by Lucasfilm slam Rian and the TLJ, it gives those not paid by them (FM) more ammunition against those of us that simply enjoy a film and would like to see more content like that. The death threats and r*** threats increase. The antagonizaiton of a large group of people composed mainly of women, POC, and even children (the horrific comments I’ve seen on YouTube videos of children enjoying TLJ makes me absolutely sick) increases tenfold with every bitter comment from someone associated with LF.

Star Wars is supposed to be for EVERYONE.

EVERYONE includes people that didn’t grow up with the original trilogy. It includes those that love the prequels. It includes the people that didn’t read Legends. It includes people that ship Reylo. SW is for everyone that is seeking hope, love, and redemption... or it SHOULD be. Because those three little words?

Hope. Love. Redemption.

They mean a lot. And even more than that... they mean different things to different people. Ganging up on each other and screaming insults and threatening lives won’t change that, but boy do people try! And Lucasfilm lets them. With their employees comments, they even encourage it at times. It’s absolutely awful. Because it means that they don’t care what SW means to us, only select groups of people. Which means that right now, Star Wars ISN’T for everyone like it should be.

I do still have hope this will change and the atmosphere of the fandom and the franchise will feel more warm and welcoming for marginalized audiences. Sure there’s some women that really love where SW is headed right now and that’s great. But the part of the fandom that is the happiest right now is overwhelmingly male. And everyone that watches these movies and feels a connection to this universe isn’t male. So to open it up to tell a story that encompasses the whole human experience and not just part of it, they’re going to have to stop pandering to a specific audience like George did with the prequels and Rian did with TLJ. Hopefully someday hope, love, and redemption as others besides the FM see them will return. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#Here #Take this #asks #emptying the inbox #TLJ #Rian Johnson #Reylo #ben solo #tros #rey #Reylo fandom

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galaxy98 · 4 years ago

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Trial of the Mariner Part 2

Here’s the other half of my outline of the redemption AU.

Also, here’s a link to part 1 of my post: https://simkim704.tumblr.com/post/625293476349788160/trial-of-the-mariner

While SkekGra, UrGoh, and Rek’yr do their part in helping the Mariner, it’s the elder Shaman that does most of the work. He’s described to have blue colored robes, long hair, an old raspy voice, and a pair of eyes that are pure white (blind). Some Dousan would say that his blindless is a strength, since he’s able to see things that not even the clan could see. But what makes him even more mysterious is his background, which is nothing at all. The Dousan only knew him for his profession, not from the years he’s spent living in the Wellspring. In fact, it seemed like he was expecting SkekSa to come here at some point, as if his true purpose was to help her in her journey.

This AU plays on the spiritualism of the franchise. We saw how certain characters use dreamfasting as way of communicating and well just about anything that the Gelfling could put their minds to. Aughra has a third eye that makes her see multiple timelines. The Dousan see death as a way of life and never a thing to fear about. A vision is what prompted SkekGra to unite with his other half. With that said, the Shaman’s way of helping SkekSa is giving her permission to spend 3 days in the Wellspring and then every night, he’ll give her 3 visions. This is achieved by eating an Urdrupe berry and holding their hands together. SkekGra, UrGoh, and Rek’yr take part in the process, but they can’t interfere with what goes on the vision. Only SkekSa could interact from what’s within. For the rest of those 3 days, SkekSa spends most of her time rehabilitating herself from the injuries she sustained and even catching up with the Heretic. What’s interesting is that when she arrived at the Wellspring, the Dousan only stared at her at she walked by. When she asked Rek’yr about this, he replied, “Your scars tell a story.” It’s as if they can see the mental and physical pain she endured.

The 3 visions are mainly represented by 3 dead Maudras: Mayrin, Fara, and Laesid. The last one is very crucial to the process. Why Maurdras? It’s because they symbolize her obligation. Even if she’s not familiar with the ins and outs of being a Maudra, SkekSa is well aware of their status.

While the Maudras represent their respective visions, there are extras. In vision #1, Tavra and Mira are involved because they are Vapran. Vision #2 includes Shoni and Ordon because they’re Rian’s parents and this vision is about him, specifically. The last vision includes the Sifan that died under SkekSa’s watch and the Sifan castle guards that were drained of their essence.

At the end of each vision, one of the 3 Maudras would ask SkekSa a question: What do you desire, what do you hate, and what do you prevent. We’ll get to this later.

The first vision begins with SkekSa entering into the royal throne room. How she got there was by exiting the hut of the Shaman. Mayrin appears before her, sitting down at a table and asked her if she care for a cup of Ta. The Mariner was in shock. It had a been a long time since they’ve seen each other. Not wanting to keep her waiting, SkekSa decided to take it upon the Vapran’s offer. Mayrin talked about her experience as the All-Maudra and how much of an impact it left on others. SkekSa couldn’t understand why she was telling her all this. According to the royal Vapran, they seem to have a lot in common. They were supposed to be leaders, they had to live up to their role as leaders, and they saw how rewarding it was to receive love and validation from being said leaders. But the biggest similarity is that they secretly struggle with imposter syndrome. Though for the Mariner, she started to experience it after the Sog incident. Even when Mayrin was talking about these similarities, the vision started showing flashbacks to when they first started out, their instances of benevolence, and their moments of weakness. It even show how Mayrin died in the first place. SkekSa couldn’t believe it. She didn’t think that SkekVar would do something like this given his past experience as ambassador, but to see that the Ritual Master was complacent in all this, just gives her more of a reason why she never wanted be involve in any Skeksis business. To her, backstabbing is the entire core of her kin, even if she wished that she was the exception. It also doesn’t help that the two sisters never told SkekSa about the extent to how she died. Not wanting to overburden her, Mayrin explained to her that her death had motivated her friends, daughters, and the entire clan to fight back. She’s also not the only Vapran that died. Tavra and Mira appeared, and they both provided their case. Tavra’s death may have been the reason why Seladon and Brea are closer than ever before. Mira’s death led to the Gelfling recognizing her as victim #0 and it also kicked off the chain of events that would wind up leading to the creation of the resistance. Thinking about the rebellion only made SkekSa angry. After everything she did for them, it only ended with betrayal, after betrayal, after betrayal. And yet, seeing all those flashbacks only made her realize just how much she misses being the Mariner. All it did was make her even more upset. While she didn’t outright say it, Mira wishes that she could tell her about Rian. However, it only seemed appropriate to leave that for the next vision. After that, Tavra and Mira left.

Before SkekSa could leave her vision, Mayrin asks her about what she desired the most. The vision’s environment started to change to what SkekSa sees fit. They are now in a forest with a pathway that leads to a hut in a open field. SkekSa couldn’t make out what she saw, but as they get closer, they saw a little Gelfling child, a Sifan from the looks of it, playing outside with a wooden sword and even had the Mariner’s hat on their head. What’s going on is that the childling was re-enacting the adventures that SkekSa had. Then, the door opened and a voice could be heard, telling the childling that it’s time for dinner. She didn’t catch it at first, but it almost sounded just like her. As they looked through the window, not only was the childling sitting at the table, but there was an older version of SkekSa and UrSan sitting there as well. This version of SkekSa had a silver streak of hair, a pair of glasses, and rather shabby clothes compared to what she wore before. UrSan, on the other hand, didn’t have any distinctive features except for her dimmed pupils. Possibly a complication from SkekSa losing a part of her eyesight. The Mariner couldn’t help but watch outside the window as they happily eat their meal together. Slowly, everything outside the hut disappears around them. SkekSa puts her forehead and hand against the glass and closed her eyes as the tears run down her face. Mayrin commented by saying how she never knew that the Mariner wanted a family. SkekSa didn’t know what to think of this revelation. The Skeksis never understood the concept of family. They only understood brotherhood. In a way, UrSan and the Sifan were her family. The vision ends.

Vision #2 begins with SkekSa appearing in Stone-in-the-Wood, the center of the Stonewood clan. While the Mariner knew of many Sifan that came from this clan, she didn’t understand why this has anything to do with her. Maudra Fara appeared by exiting out of her throne room. She asks SkekSa about her request. She gave Fara the run down about what’s going on and that she needed to figure out how to stop the Skeksis. Fara denied her request saying that the Skeksis are benovolent rulers and that the Mariner was not well. She didn’t understand why she wasn’t listening to her, but she tried again. She still got the same response, except this time, the Stonewood Maudra suggests that SkekSa should be taken back to the castle to see what’s wrong with her. SkekSa started to lose her patience and told Fara that there’s no time for this nonsense. Fara orders the guards to reprimand her. The Mariner didn’t have a weapon with her and combined with the trauma she experience from being outnumbered by the Gelfling, she cowered in fear and closed her eyes. However, she opened her eyes back up to see that the guards had disappeared into thin air. Fara says, “Now you know how Rian felt.” Finally, it clicked her. The point that Fara was trying to make is that things aren’t always what they seem and that placing her anger onto them only makes things worse. She wishes she could do that, but that would mean having to forgive herself from the pain THEY caused. And that was something that she never wanted to forget. The pain reminded her of who she is. A lonely parasite with no value of being in a place like Thra. The only way that Fara was going to convince her is to guide her through the throne door that teleports to the inside of the Skeksis castle. There they were right where Rian was, looking down at the laboratory. This was right around the time when Mira, the Vapran from SkekSa’s previous vision, was about to be drained. This is the first time the she got to see the draining up close. She wanted to look away but she had to follow what Fara said. She had to feel what Rian felt. That means having to endure every painful moment. Every. Last. Moment. After the draining, they go through each door, one of them leading to another memory of past events. SkekSa got to see things from Rian’s perspective, especially his interrogation at Stone-In-The-Wood. She then saw another fellow Skeksis that she hadn’t seen in a long time. It was the Hunter. SkekSa never thought about him that much, but seeing him go completely feral, scared her. Could she end up just like him? Either way, she witnessed the death of another parental figure, Ordon, at the hands of the Skeksis. Once it hit the point to where Rian had nothing, she would get to see just how much he gained after all that and how it was that kind of worth that made him the leader of the entire rebellion. One certain event that caught her eye was their first battle against the Skeksis. She saw how the Gelfling trained themselves to become capable fighters. SkekSa knows that they aren’t weak, but it dumbfounded her that they were able to have this much preparation time. If the Sifan can do all of that, then maybe she wasn’t needed after all. But then again, she came to them for help, not the other way around. As the battle plays out, the Hunter appears again, this time, attempting to deliver the final blow to Rian. Up to this point, SkekSa began to have second thoughts about the Gelfling. It’s possible that she may have had him all wrong. She wanted to stop SkekMal, but this was just a vision. Then, it happened. The Hunter disintegrated. Given how her and UrSan seem to share the same scars on their bodies, SkekSa came to the conclusion that was the Hunter’s half that killed him. Once the battle was over, SkekSa and Fara followed Rian who was trying to find Deet. When they got there, they saw how much pain he was in by having to see the corrupted Grottan walking away from him, possibly for safety reasons. Even after all that, Rian had to deal with loss, after loss, after loss. Just like her. Out of nowhere, Ordon and Shoni appeared. Calmly, they plea to her to not take her anger out on their son for it’s not his fault. SkekSa replies with, “I know.” The vision’s environment changes again and it turned into a forest. Right in front of SkekSa, she saw Rian sitting in front of the fire. A symbolic representation of him trying to keep the flames of resistance “alive.” Rian’s parents told the Mariner to go to him. There, she sat across from him. Up close, SkekSa could see the tears on his face. She saw just how much stress it can be on a Gelfling, having to hold everything together for the greater good. It almost reminded her of how hard she had to hold onto the Sifan, as if she was worried about them outgrowing her. In fact, there’s no telling if she knew all along that this was going to be the end result between them. Then, she felt something strange happening to her. When she looked at her hands, they were becoming more Gelfling-like. As the rest of her body started to change, she looked up to see that Rian disappeared. Skeksa felt something on her head and when she tried to put it off, it was only a strand of black hair. Stonewood to be exact. Then, it all became clear. She finally knew how it felt to be like him. She reverted back to normal and Rian’s parents left.

Fara then asked the Mariner, “What do you hate the most?” Like before, the environment changes to an unknown location. It was a path that led to a metallic half-oval shaped door. The door opens by itself as they got closer to it. There, they saw a figure on their knees, along with the shackles around their hands and neck, holding them down. SkekSa knew that it was obviously her, but she didn’t think it was gonna be this bad. This SkekSa had her head down, possibly a sign of deafeat, and apparently had a ton of scars all over her body. It was so much compared to the scars she had up to the Sog incident. When SkekSa looked closely at the neck shackle, she gasped. It was the Drenchen symbol. Fara looked at her and wonder if this is what she hated. Does SkekSa hate being viewed as the enemy? For the Mariner, after having to deal with all that other stuff with Rian, she knew that she couldn’t lie her way out of this one. It was all true. She already made herself into the menace of the Gefling, specifically the Drenchen. She knew that if she step foot in Sog again, this could be the end result. The vision ends.

The final vision begins with SkekSa opening her eyes to find herself in a white void. She wondered why this is somehow different from the last two visions she had. Then, she heard a “hello” from behind her and when she turned to see who it was, she almost fell on her back. It was Laesid, the Drenchen Maudra. The Gelfling that SkekSa killed. The Mariner tried to get up and run away, but Laesid reappeared in front of her. She told SkekSa that she’s a fool for thinking she could just avoid her. Because wherever she goes, she’ll be able to find her. In a very angry tone, she asks what Laesid wanted from her. Laesid wanted to knock some sense into her and bluntly tells her everything that she needed to hear. From how she led the Sifan astray, how she ended up betraying their trust, how she lived a lie, how she depended too much on the sea for guidance ,how she stayed away from Thra in order to keep herself away from her problems and how, combine with all of this, she can’t run away for who she was. Who she used to be. Who she can’t be anymore. SkekSa kept herself silent the whole time during Laesid’s tangent, but that last point ended up catching her attention. What did she mean by, “who she was?” But before SkekSa could say anything, Laesid went on about the consequences that came from being dead. The bad....and the good. The bad came from how she won’t see Bellanji again, how she’ll never have the chance to witness the fall of the Skeksis empire, and how she’ll never see Naia become the next Drenchen Maudra. Having to think about the twins made her angry. All that effort to stay out of Skeksis business and Naia and Guirjin had to drag her into all this. Even if she eventually stopped wishing any suffering on Rian, she certaintly would’ve done it with those two. But then she remembered something that Fara told her previously. About how things were going to get worse because of her misplaced anger onto THEM. She wasn’t just talking about Rian. Because of that, SkekSa had to keep listening to Laesid. She then went on to talk about the good that came from her death. She was able to think clearly from all the outside forces in her life and that she might have a way to get through to SkekSa. She asked her if she knew anything about UrSan. The Mariner was silent. UrSan was the one Mystic that came into her life and she seemed to be the only one to challenge her whenever she makes a decision. Yet, despite everything, they used to have this sort of “special” attachment that couldn’t keep them apart. Used to. SkekSa and Laesid teleport to a beach, the same one that she saw from a vision when she was in the castle, to when she was stuck in the tree, and to when she was the Circle of the Suns. It fits the same description too: stilled water with no waves to be seen. Laesid wanted her to look closely at the ocean and she saw the Swimmer standing on the rock. Is this it? Was that the only thing that the vision was trying to tell her? SkekSa tried to get to UrSan, but the water quickly pulled back. It happened everytime she move forward. She tried running, but then the sand around her started to form into solid ground and then eventually a cliff. Laesid then tells SkekSa that everytime they fight, they drift apart. SkekSa wished that she could say to her and apologize for the all the times she refused to listen. The Drenchen Maudra said to her that UrSan is not the only one she has to apologize to. When she turned her back around, she finds herself in front of every Sifan that died under her watch. Even the Sifan guards that were drained of their essence, were there as well. SkekSa remembered all of those faces, all the times they had together, and how they now have a sad look on their faces. Seeing all of them brought her down to her knees and she hungs her head in shame. Laesid steps closer to the Mariner and puts her hand on her heart. The same spot where the Gelfling imprint is. Slowly, she raises her head up. Laesid then says to SkekSa, “I forgive you.” SkekSa tries to deny it, but Laesid still said she forgave her. She denies it again. Same response. This went on for a few times and SkekSa had enough. She shouted, “YOU CAN’T FORGIVE SOMEBODY WHO KILLED YOU!” But then Laesid replied with, “Then why is my hand still on your heart....SaSan?” SkekSa’s eyes opened wide. That name. She never heard that name in all her life and yet, all of those memories started coming back to her. She couldn’t do anything but cry her heart out. She never wanted any of this. She thought that being divided would mean that she could be with the Sifan forever. She wanted to be with the clan that saw her for who she was. They were the only clan that loved her. With that gone, along with her Mystic half, who does she have that can love her the same way they did? She want it all back. All of the dead Sifan disappeared.

Laesid asks her, “What do you prevent the most?” So on and so fourth, the environment changes. It changed to something that SkekSa never expected. They were at the same tree that trapped her a few weeks ago. But the difference is that the tree isn’t cut opened. Instead, it opened up by itself, freeing this version of the Mariner from its bonds. When she got up, she tried to get her bearings straight and find her way out of Sog. However, when she got to the village, something was very different about the area. Everything is covered with vines, along with broken doors and windows. It’s as if this version of Sog is abandoned. Once she exited the location, it seems like everything else in Thra is abandoned as well. Especially the castle. SkekSa figured what the vision was trying to tell her. The thing she wanted to prevent the most is being forgotten. This is the source of all her problems. This is why she held onto the Sifan so much. This is why she never wanted to go back to Thra. This is why she never wanted to give up being the Mariner. She’s afraid. Afraid of what would happen to her, UrSan, and the rest of the Gelfling. Having to see the Skeksis abused their power and then use their citizens as the means for immortality, just made her worst fears come true.

Before the last vision ends, they reappeared back to the cliff. Silently, SkekSa and Laesid stared at each other. “You’re drowning, SkekSa.” These were the last words she said to her before a piece of the cliff broke off, causing her to fall. When she opened her eyes after the fall, she finds herself standing above the water. She notice that the cliff is nowhere to be seen and the rock that UrSan was standing on is gone. She is all alone. By herself. Then, SkekSa felt something grabbing her pants. It was an arm. Not just any arm, a Skeksis arm. When that happened, multiple arms started popping out of the water. They all grabbed onto her clothes. For a fraction of second, she figured out that those were the arms of the court, and they were dragging her down with them. SkekSa panicked, and tried to shout out for help. But no one was there to rescue. Slowly but surely, her body is fully into the water. The arms disappear, but the Mariner didn’t have the urge to swim back up. What Laesid said was all true. She is drowning. And maybe she’s better off that way. However, a glowing figure above her appeared. The figure had a deep blue color on their hair and gray colored skin. They even had 4 arms to count. It was UrSan, and she was coming down to rescue her. Once they came back to the shore, the Mariner opened up her eyes to see the Swimmer’s face up close for the first time in a while. The only thing UrSan did was smile. SkekSa, on the other hand, had a different reaction. Tears started to fall down her face. She missed her so much. Without saying a word, they both put their foreheads together and close their eyes. The Mariner silently wept. Everything disappears around them and the vision ends.

Okay...so given how the vision portion took up almost half this post, I decided on making a part 3. It would be about the stuff that happened outside the Wellspring, a little background to how the Gelfling were able to get to SkekSa, and UrSan’s perspective. Technically, it’s going to be 4 parts with the last one being more of an optional choice. It just a little behind the scenes of this AU’s creation. As I said before, tell me what you think by replying down below. I would greatly appreciate your comments. I would definitely appreciate seeing fan art of this AU. I mean hey, my 20th birthday is tomorrow on Monday. If you do make any fan art, tag me and I’ll reblog it to my Tumblr page.

#the dark crystal #the dark crytsal: age of resistance #tdc:aor #skeksa

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horansqueen · 5 years ago

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AM Conversations : chapter 48

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24 || CHAPTER 25 || CHAPTER 26 || CHAPTER 27 || CHAPTER 28 || CHAPTER 29 || CHAPTER 30 || CHAPTER 31 || CHAPTER 32 || CHAPTER 33 || CHAPTER 34 || CHAPTER 35 || CHAPTER 36 || CHAPTER 37 || CHAPTER 38 || CHAPTER 39 || CHAPTER 40 || CHAPTER 41 || CHAPTER 42 || CHAPTER 43 || CHAPTER 44 || CHAPTER 45 || CHAPTER 46 || CHAPTER 47

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -4.2k -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- note for this chapter: i know my last chapter didnt get many notes but the chapter is ready so why not post it you know? sex is vanilla again. thought it was cute. sue me lol. theyll have kinker sex dont worry hahaha! i would LOVE to know what you think of the characters and their reactions and stuff. so please, message me!

here are the requests for this chapter! for the instagram one, i changed it a bit because i dont think her character would want to be in the spotlight like that i hope its ok! also i had already talked about their first time and such so I added the others :)

Chapter 48 : His chapter

NIALL

"Oh my god! Look at you flirting with that woman like she's not 30 years older than you!"

I started laughing and let my head fall back slightly. My arm was on the couch's back right behind her head and I brought it closer, pulling her to me by her neck.

"Is that the tone you use when you're jealous?"

I noticed her nose raise up in a grimace but she kept staring at the tv, making me laugh even more. For some reason, Olivia wanted us to watch old One Direction interviews, pretending it would help me for the ones I had planned in the next few weeks. It didn't really help, all it did was make us laugh and I had to admit it was quite entertaining and I was pretty sure I had never watched most of them.

"It was tough watching interviews back then." she admitted, raising a shoulder. "Especially the older ones. You were such a horny kid."

I frowned slightly at her comment. I could hear a lot of pain but also a bit of blame and it bothered me. I was young, I was newly famous and not shy at all. Of course, I was a bit stupid and I tried to be funny but out of all the people in the world, I thought she'd be the last one to comment on it.

"I just enjoyed flirting." I let out, shrugging too. "I don't do that anymore."

It took her a few seconds but she turned my way, staring at my profile.

"How many times did it work?"

I frowned, still looking the old 60 minutes interview we did a few years ago playing on screen. Did I really want to have this discussion?

"What are you asking?"

I held my breath and turned to her, noticing how painful it was for her to ask me something like that. I felt my annoyance falter a bit but not leave completely.

"How many girls did you have sex with?"

We had never talked about that before. I thought about asking, especially when we started dating, but I was scared it would start shit between us. When I was younger, I didn't mention my stories mostly because I didn't want to hear hers. Now that I think about it, it was probably out of jealousy, too.

"Liv, please-"

"More than 10?"

I stared at her a few seconds and nodded a bit. I watched her lick her lips and breathe in and nervously, I felt my fingers play with the fabric of the couch. I hated this, it could only turn wrong.

"More than 20?"

I could feel myself getting angry and I closed my eyes, trying to calm down. I didn't know why I was so touchy, it was not in my nature, but perhaps the way she asked me didn't help. It was not just a casual conversation, there was clearly a reason why she asked and I suddenly regretted that we never talked about these things before.

"20 sounds about right." I just said, impatient to talk about something else.

"That's more than twice my number."

We remained silent for a few seconds and I raised my eyebrows at her.

"Am I supposed to answer something to that?" I just wondered a bit rudly. "I don't know what you expected Olivia, but clearly you're delusional. I've had a lot of opportunities it's true, and no of course I didn't jump on all of them, but you don't ask an 18 year old boy to be reasonable after being thrown into fame. I don't think you can really understand what it's like."

I shook my head and sighed louder than needed before getting up a bit roughly. I felt her fingers wrap about my wrist and stopped immediately.

"I'm sorry."

I stayed motionless, standing up with my eyes closed as her fingers pressed around my wrist more.

"I'm just scared. And insecure." she added low as i felt her fingers slip and free my hand. "I don't understand why you're dating me, Niall. You could date so many girls or just fool around with anyone you want. But you're here with me and it just makes no fucking sense to me. So when I see how things used to be for you, it scares me for the future and at the same time, it reminds me how much I cried during those years."

I sighed and slowly sat back down next to her, still not being able to look at her.

"Why did you propose we watch that then?"

From the corner of my eyes, I noticed her looking down and swallowing. I couldn't pretend I knew how she felt, not now and not back then, but I was dating her now, I had been dating her for over 9 months. The fact that she was still doubting me... doubting us, was tough to accept.

"I thought i'd be okay, I thought since you were next to me, holding my hand, that it wouldn't bother me." she explained in a low and ashamed tone. "I was wrong."

I sighed again and rubbed my eyes before getting up again. Her head shot up quickly but I just held my hand out to her. It took her a few seconds but slowly, she slid her palm against mine and I pulled on her hand, helping her get up.

"Let's go outside, okay?"

She didn't say anything, she just let me bring her outside, in the backyard. I took my socks off after letting go of her hands and sat on the side of the pool, putting my feet in the water and waited for her. It took her a few minutes but I still didn't turn to her. The night was calm and warm enough, especially for late september, and I looked down at her feet moving slowly in the water.

"At the lodge, I saw you and Harry making out naked on the side of the pool. It made me very jealous, even if I didn't really realize it back then. Not really because you two were having sex, but mostly because he had your full attention, and I was so used to have it all for myself that losing it was like a slap in the face." I admitted, licking my lips. "I'm not saying I know how you feel, Liv, or how you used to feel. I just think that holding on to that is changing you and stressing you for no reason."

"Maybe."

She didn't comment on the part about Harry and I closed my eyes.

"The first date I ever went on was with a girl from school." I added low.

"Grace, I remember."

"The whole time, all I could think about was kissing her. I didn't care about anything else. I was young, I can't even remember if I liked her, but I wanted my real first kiss and it's all that mattered." I made a pause and sighed. "Then I had girlfriends when I was a bit older, and then I joined One Direction and met other girls. And whenever I hung out with them, I was never jealous, I thought 'hey if it doesn't work then it wasn't meant to be' and that's it. I didn't expect it to last because I didn't want it to last. I had nothing to lose. I thought about sex and having fun."

I turned to her and sighed louder when I noticed tears falling down her cheeks. I moved my body her way slightly and shook my head.

"Olivia, why are you crying? I'm trying to tell you that it's different with you. I care about you. And the first thing I thought of when it came to you was not sex, it was not kissing you. It was making you happy, it was how good I felt around you. Why would you cry for that?"

"Because you seem to forget that I was there, Niall. I saw you with these girls. I cried myself to sleep because I desperately wanted to be in their shoes. My first kiss was with a guy at school who was harassing me to go out with him and when he kissed me, all I thought about was you. The first time I had sex with Rian I wished it was you. Every single decision in my love life seems to have been related to you. I'm not blaming you, it's all on me, but its still not easy for me."

My eyes roamed on her face and I watched her wipe her tears and sniff a few times before clearing her throat.

"We both need to make efforts. You can't spend all your time asking questions about my past that's gonna hurt you, you know."

"I'll work on that." she whispered. "But you're gonna have to be patient with me."

"Okay."

We remained quiet again for a while, just looking at the lights of the pool shining on the water. I knew I should reach for her hand but I wasn't sure I wanted to.

"Remember the first time we got drunk together?" she asked with a chuckle, moving her feet a bit more vigorously and making the water move around her. "You were so cute, and so damn tactile. At some point I was so close to tell you that I loved you that I got scared and hid in the bathroom for half an hour."

I smiled at the memory and chuckled.

"You were so dramatic and I didn't even know!" I let out, making her laugh too. "I don't know how you kept it inside for so long."

"Fear of losing you." she shrugged. "I just looked at you, both of us totally pissed, and I thought 'everyone wants a piece of him but he's with you right now, don't ruin this Olivia'."

"You were cute, you had that really high ponytail. I remember because whenever you'd turn around, your hair would brush against my arm and I was so drunk it made me shiver every time."

My eyes found hers and she was not smiling anymore. Her lips were parted and her eyes were glued to me. I raised my eyebrows and moved my face closer to hers.

"Yes, I remember things. Not the same things you remember, and maybe not for the same reasons, but I do remember things."

Slowly, she pressed her lips together and they curled as she kept looking at me.

"I love you, Niall."

I moved my upper body over hers, forcing her to move down on the hard cement but she didn't complain. I placed both my hands on each side of her chest to hold myself over her and bent down to kiss her.

"I love you too." i answered, moving up to a bit to look at her.

Her eyes traveled on my face until my lips and she licked hers.

"You said you'd make love to me whenever I'd want." she whispered so low i barely heard. "I really want it now."

"It's not really comfortable." I pointed out, the right corner of my lips moving up.

"Then you're gonna have to be extra gentle with me."

I nodded and sat up, immediately reaching for the hem of her sweatpants and she moved her butt up to help me. She brought her feet off the water and placed them on the ground, her knees up, and my eyes roamed between her legs as I let out a low groan. I took my shirt off and didn't even react when it fell in the pool. It made Olivia chuckle and I just moved gently over her, placing myself between her legs.

One of her hands ran on my chest as I pressed myself against her. I felt her grind up slowly against me and bent down to kiss her. I could feel myself get harder with every move of her hips, even if she was barely moving and I let my lips brush on her jaw and down her neck.

"You should keep your shirt on, I don't want your back all scratched."

I brought my mouth back on hers and I noticed her lips curling in a fond but amused smile.

"You don't want to see me completely naked?"

"Don't be silly." I chuckled again, glancing down and noticing her hard nipples through the fabric of her shirt. "I really fucking do. But you don't need to be naked to turn me on."

She smiled more and I moved down on my elbows, moving her head up gently and placing my hands under it to make sure her head wouldn't rub against the cement.

"Are you sure you want to try it here?"

She didn't say anything, she just kept looking at me as her hands moved between us. One of her palms pressed on my cock and I groaned low. She started nibbling on her bottom lip, slowly pulling my pants down and I pushed myself into her. I was surprised at how wet she already was and how easy it was for us to do this, like our bodies just seemed to fit perfectly together.

"I love you."

I bent down again, kissing her as I started thrusting in and out of her so slowly that I could feel everything incredibly well. So well that it brought sensations in me that I hadn't felt before. I felt impatient and my whole body throbbed even more than usual. It was definitely different than what I was used to but I loved it. I could really see all of her facial expressions and ended up letting out a very low curse word when her lips parted and her eyes fluttered close. I watched her as she moved her chin up and I could feel the back of her head rubbing slowly against the palm of my hands, making a mess of her hair. She looked amazing, all fucked beneath me, and it made me realize how much I loved her.

"I love you too." I whispered back. "So much."

"Just me?"

My movements faltered and her eyes opened slowly. I stared at my best friend, laying under me, and I thought of all the things we went through together and all the things we'll go through together too. I thought about our friendship that turned into love, I thought about us when we were young, I thought about everything I missed with her and everything I lived with her, and I could swear I felt my heart skip a beat.

"Yes, only you."

Her hands traveled on my back until my ass and she let out a short whimper as her thighs pressed on my side to keep me close. I could feel my elbows and the back of my hands hurt from rubbing slightly on the cement but it was really the sharp pain in one of my knees that made it worse. I tried to push it out of my thoughts to focus on her and when she arched her back and started shaking, I knew she was cumming.

"Oh god Niall... I.. I'm..."

I tried to keep my movements slow and steady but it was pure torture until I felt an orgasm reach me. I felt it coming and held my breath as my eyes closed and I groaned again as it spread inside me slower than normally. I could feel it until the tip of my fingers and in my toes and when I came down from my high, I blinked a few times.

"I'm literally seeing spots." I let out with a short laugh.

"Me too." she chuckled just as my sight was getting clear again.

I looked at her laying under me and sighed. Now that it was over, I was more aware of the pain and I grimaced. I let myself roll on my back next to her and she moved her upper body over me with a frown.

"You okay? You're not bleeding are you?"

I brought my hands up to look at them and shook my head.

"I'm sorry." she added, raising her nose up. "We should have tried on the grass. Do you need ice or something?"

"And pizza." I pointed out with an exaggerated pain expression, making her laugh.

"Alright i'll bring all that in the living room."

She was about to get up but I put my hand on her thigh to stop her, my fingers brushing gently on her skin.

"Wait." She stopped and turned to me. "These girls, they mean nothing. You need to trust me."

She sent me a sad smile and shrugged a shoulder very slowly. I was tired to fight and I was scared it would ruin things between us.

"I'll try."

---

I was driving the first time I heard 'This Town' on the radio and she was sitting next to me. I didn't know why but I felt incredibly lucky that I was not alone, and even luckier that she was the one with me. Her face illuminated and she let out a short scream, making me smile even more. I parked on the side of the road and she threw herself in my arms awkwardly since we both still had our seat belts on and we looked at each other the whole time it played until the very end.

"This is so fucking good Niall i'm so proud of you!"

I cupped her face and brought her closer a bit roughly, crashing my mouth against her and making her laugh. She grabbed the front of my shirt and deepened the kiss slightly, making me smile through it.

"Fucking hell."

She laughed as we pulled away slightly and smiled more.

"It's a big deal. Your first solo song." she whispered. "And you worked hard for that."

We remained in the car for a while, just flabbergasted by what had happened and a bit ecstatic. I looked at her reacting almost as intensely as me and it made me realize so many things that I just leaned against my seat and sighed. Despite all the fights we had, despite my almost total absence in the past few weeks, despite the fact that we had it hard recently, she was there, she supported me, and she was happy for me.

"A few drinks tonight to celebrate, how's that?" she proposed as I started the car again. "We could invite a few friends?"

"Yea, yea good call!" I let out, glancing at her. "Hey take my phone and go on instagram!"

She frowned a bit but she was still smiling and she did what I was told before looking at me again.

"You want to add something to your story?"she asked as I nodded. "Okay, go ahead!"

"Hello lovers, so we just heard 'This Town' for the first time on the radio a few minutes ago and we went completely crazy!" I just said with a laugh, trying to focus on the road as I passed one of my hands in my hair and shook my head. "Let me just get back home and I'll do a live and answer a few questions!"

She stopped filming and played with my phone for a few seconds before looking at me again.

"That's a very good idea."

With a smile plastered on my face, I parked the car and unlocked the front door before quickly getting my laptop. She put her purse on the couch and I sat next to it right before she disappeared in the kitchen. It took me a few minutes to go live but when I finally was, my smile hadn't faltered not even for a second. I started answering questions, glancing from time to time at Olivia that remained away from the camera. I knew she didn't like to be in the spotlight and that a lot of times, I brought attention to her without meaning to, but the fact that she was still there, in the shadows, to support me, meant the world.

"I was with Liv, it's her you heard on the video." I explained, answering an other question.

I saw my girlfriend grimace when she realized everyone had heard her voice and her probably her laughter when we recorded the small video in the car and my eyes found her again, her expression making me chuckle.

"From the face she's making now, it was clearly not intentional." I pointed out, laughing again.

My eyes caught a comment that made me frown but I tried to ignore it until I saw an other one and I finally closed my eyes, breathing in.

"Okay, i'm normally not the type to give attention to bad mouthing but we're trying to have a nice time and reading shit about my girlfriend is no fun."

I could feel Olivia tense near me as my eyes roamed on the comments.

'No Niall pls stay!!!'

'Ignore them we love her! OTP!'

'Fuck whoever talks shit about her'

'They don't deserve your attention!'

I didn't add anything else but kept on answering questions about an upcoming album, more songs, the process of writing and tour. After over half an hour, I said goodbye and turned my computer off. Olivia had left and I joined her in the kitchen, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind. My lips reached her neck and I squeezed her tighter against me.

"Hey, darling." I whispered. I heard her sniff and my heart twitched. "It wasn't that mean. I promise."

I watched her fingers grip the side of the sink more and suddenly felt extremely bad. I shouldn't have commented, that way, she wouldn't know about the mean comments, but when I saw them, I didn't think, I just reacted. It was not like me but reading shit about her made me a bit impulsive and now I regretted it.

"That's what I mean when I say I don't understand why you're dating me." she murmured after swallowing hard. "No one understands why you're dating me."

"People who know nothing about you or our story don't get it, so what?" I just replied, nuzzling her nape. "Fuck them. I know why i'm dating you and i've got a shitton of good reasons."

"Don't tell me you don't doubt us, sometimes, Niall." she shook her head. "Don't tell me it never crosses you mind that you should be dating someone who's in your league. A tall, skinny, gorgeous actress, model, singer... I don't know."

She moved away from me and turned around, her back still facing me. I let my arms fall on each side of my body and sighed a bit loud before rubbing my eyes. I was trying to comfort her but it seemed like nothing i'd do would change anything.

"I'm telling you it's you, okay? I love you!" I argued, getting annoyed again. "I don't get how it's so hard to understand!"

She finally turned to me slowly and I felt a pain at heart when I saw the tears on her red cheeks. I didn't know why it was affecting her that much and I felt like i'd never understand.

"Love is not everything. Contrary to popular belief, love is not all you need." she pointed out, her arms crossed on her chest. She shook her head again and licked her lips as I stayed still, holding my breath. "I don't get why you don't understand how I feel, and I can't seem to explain it. It's useless, Niall. I'm useless."

Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and walked in the hall. I closed my eyes, trying to calm the beating of my heart. I should have ran to her and took her in my arms. I should have tried again to tell her how much she meant to me. I should have begged her to believe me and trust me. Instead, I sat on a chair and sighed loud. I felt defeated and exhausted at the same time. I just wanted us to be happy like we used to be but I didn't know how.

After a good twenty minutes of thinking, I got up and walked to our room, opening the door slowly. She was laying in bed, on her side with her knees up. I took a few steps closer only to realize she was asleep. I put my hands deep in my pockets and stared at her for a few seconds. Her lips were slightly parted and I could hear her breathe a bit louder than usual. I sighed again and found a blanket before putting it over her and bending down.

"You're so much more than you seem to believe." I murmured close to her ear. "I wish I knew how to show you. Maybe i'm the useless one."

#niall horan #niall horan smut #niall horan fluff #niall horan fanfic #niall horan fan fic #niall horan fanfiction #niall horan fan fiction #niall horan writing #niall horan story #amc #my fanfics #is this chapter even worth it?#is this STORY even worth it #ahh i always doubt myself whenever its time to post a new chapter

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megashadowdragon · 4 years ago

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on lukes moment of weakness and how it is fitting for luke among other comments

Personally I TOTALLY believe that George's Luke would have been VERY similarly to Rian's Luke.

And here is the reason why.... Luke has almost always been George's insert (lucas pronunced luke S ) and it makes total sense for Luke to be "exiled" and secluded away just as George became with Star Wars after the backlash of the prequels. But at the end of it, he comes back and stands up for what makes Star Wars what it is. Which is what Luke does for the Jedi and themes of Star Wars by the end of TLJ. He has learned from his mistakes, atoned for them, found redemption, confronted those he has failed, inspired hope, and learned to show compassion once again.

Now while George may have done it differently, I do believe that Luke being in exile was a metaphor for George's own relationship with Star Wars and its fandom.

www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/ebb4f3/lukes_momentaneous_thought_of_killing_ben_solo/

I know I'm stepping on dangerous territory here by talking about The Last Jedi, and I only do this because I think this is an interesting take on a key moment of the movie. Just bear in mind that I do not intend to make my point-of-view the absolute truth of it. After all, this is just my opinion.

We all know very well how divisive Episode VIII was, with many people pationately hating that movie. One of the main reasons of complaint is the fact Luke Skywalker had attempted to kill his apprentice and nephew, Ben Solo, because he sensed the Dark Side to be too strong in the latter. Luke Skywalker, the only person in the entire galaxy that saw there was still light in Darth Vader, tried to kill his relative. When even Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda had lost all hope Anakin could be saved, Luke helped putting him on the path of redemption, helping Vader turn back to the Light and fulfill the prophecy of the Chosen One. It seems to be an insult that this same character gave up on his nephew so easily and tried to kill him.

I believe things must be analyzed more carefully.

I've just finished marathoning the Skywalker Saga (by the way, I STRONGLY recommend the Ersnt Rister order: IV-V-I-II-III-VI) and noticed something very interesting while watching Return Of The Jedi.

During the final moments of Luke and Vader's duel aboard the Death Star II, we see the young Jedi Knight wants to avoid fighting his father so as not to fall in the trecharous web of Palpatine, who wants to turn the young Skywalker to the Dark Side. Luke is hiding beneath the Emperor's throne. Vader chases him and, through the Force, reads Luke's thoughts to lure him into confrontation:

You cannot hide forever, Luke. Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for... sister! So, you have a twin sister!

In this moment, we see Luke's face and he's completely terrified by the idea Darth Vader found out about his sister. It is something new and Luke fears for Leia's well-being. Also, we hear from Vader's words that he cares a lot about his friends, the people he loves. Vader continues:

Your feelings have now betrayed her too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, THEN PERHAPS SHE WILL!

Now we have something different. Since he was brought before the Emperor, Luke had been constatly confronted by Palpatine and Vader with the idea of him turning to the Dark Side. When Vader talks about the possibility of that happening to Leia, it's not a threat directed to him, but to someone he loves. In this moment, Luke loses it completly and attacks Vader viciously, totally enraged. The Sith Lord can't stand the power of his son, fuelled by hate and falls to the ground, defeated. In this moment Luke is prepared to make the final blow, but then he hears Palpatine laughing and clapping. This makes him go back to his senses and realize what he's been doing. He then turns off his lightsaber and refuses to kill his father.

"I'm a Jedi, like my father before me" and so on... we know what happens, so let's fast-forward to The Last Jedi.

When Luke is confronted by Rey, who demands him to tell what had happened between him and Kylo Ren, we learn how things unfolded through Luke's perspective:

I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him. I'd seen it in moments during his training. But then I looked inside, and it was beyond what I ever imagined.

In this moment of the flashback we see Luke's hand reaching out to his lightsaber, almost unconsciously. He then proceeds:

. He would bring destruction and pain and death, AND THE END OF EVERYTHING I LOVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HE WILL BECOME, AND FOR THE BRIEFEST MOMENT OF PURE INSTINCT, I THOUGHT I COULD STOP IT.

Here it is again. Like in Episode VI, we see Luke reacting in a similar way by the notion of something posing a threat not to him, but to the people he loves and cares about. Luke feared Ben would destroy everything he cherished, just like Vader had threatened by turning Leia to the dark. And, just like in the OT, it was a passing shadow:

It passed like a fleeting shadow, and I was left with shame and with consequence. And the last thing I saw were the eyes of a frightened boy whose Master had failed him.

I've already written way more than I expected, so I'll just conclude here. I've realized the act Luke commits in the Sequels is the same (or at least VERY similar) as from the OT: he attempted to kill Vader then his nephew, out of fear of seeing what/who he loved destroyed. He repented and managed to stop himself in the act in both situations. And he was ashamed. So, at least regarding this point of the movie, I see the same Luke Skywalker.

(luke had more to lose now then he did before

another example which I saw dont remember where I saw it but I saved the comments unfortunately I didnt put in the links:

edit: (now I remember www . reddit . com/r/StarWars/comments/9a3hdl/)

Luke considered killing Ben for about two seconds in a vulnerable moment

Sort of like he almost got baited into killing Vader by a few mocking words, and cut the hand off his own father in blind rage.

Luke is still just a person. If we've learned anything in Star Wars it's that the Jedi are not superhuman paragons of virtue and perfection, no matter how they might appear to the unwashed masses in the SW universe. They have the same flaws, temptations, failures, etc as anyone else. Yes the Force can help them overcome some of this, but they're far from perfect. Luke could have, and I agree should have grown in a positive way, but it's not impossible or even unbelievable that he didn't. He just had his life's labor wiped out in front of him and blamed himself for it. All those years of finding lost Jedi knowledge and artifacts, being what he believed to be the last Jedi in the universe with the responsibility to restart the order on his shoulders alone. All those lives that he took under his protection and guidance as the Master of the new order, wiped out in one night. Because of him (at least in his mind). Everything he was working towards for years just totally undone in a few hours and it was all his fault.

So he leaves and says fuck the whole lot of it. He lives by himself, stews in his misery and regret, retreats into himself and rejects the most foundational principle of the whole concept of being a Jedi: to help people. He's the most powerful Force user alive and he's wasting away by himself on some desolate rock, swearing off the rest of the galaxy because he thinks that he's a failure, that he wasn't strong or good enough, that he can't win, that it's not even worth it to try anymore, and that even at the height of his wisdom and power, it was all undone, and by himself no less.

another comment

Stuff has changed, I mean he’s quicker to come to his senses. I wouldn’t call that his flaw though. His flaw is one of his greatest traits, his care for his friends and family. It’s a flaw cause it causes implusive actions, lashing out on Vader, leaving Yoda, a single thought that he could stop a horrible fate in Ben.

I personal struggle with a temptation in my life, a temptation to do something my faith says is wrong to do. I may have overcome it some days, but other days, whether the same circumstances or not, I might fall into it. Temptations are a constant battle, not a one and done thing. Flaws are similar, you don’t just grow past a flaw after one instance.

Because a day may come when you will brought face-to-face with that temptation or flaw again, but the circumstances will be different, and it won’t be so easy to overcome.

You mentioned Toy Story in a post, and that’s a decent example when it comes to one facet. Woody might not get jealous when another flashy toy comes along that gets more attention like Buzz did.

A better example of the nagging of a temptation, like Luke dealt with, is in Lord of the Rings. The Ring is a constant temptation to the bearer and those around them. At least by the film, Frodo may have resisted the urge to use it under the tree, but he still was tempted to use it at other times, and it was a constant battle. Same with Bilbo. Bilbo held the ring for 60 years. And the temptation of it held him greatly. He drops the Ring in Bag End, letting it go. If he was viewed similarly to how people viewed Luke tossing the saber, that’d mean he freed himself from it’s grasp and from the temptation to take and use it. We see in Rivendell that isn’t the case for him. He has a moment of wanting to take it back, and even at the end of his time in Middle Earth, he inquires about it, although more innocently curious.

That would be more similar to Luke’s case. To fall to the dark is a constant temptation that Jedi should always be aware of, and if you get close at one point, there’s the possibility that it’ll happen again, and if you aren’t prepared or it comes in a different form, you’ll either fall or get really close.

That turned out longer than I meant it, but I see this idea and..it’s just not the case.

another comment

Just because you get older doesn't mean you necessarily get wiser and better.

Jedi are still people (and some aliens, but you get the meaning), and the prequels (and even the OT) showed that even the oldest and wisest among the Jedi were capable of mistakes and misjudgments.

I think it's unreasonable to assume Luke should have become incapable of making, or even repeating mistakes and succumbing to emotion.

Right because people only get better as they get older and we grow past our flaws and doubts permanently right?

You guys are weird.

Luke overcame that moment of doubt before he almost struck Vader down and you think what ....... Luke got some kind of videogame like powerup where that character flaw would never come back again?

Some of you have a very black and white (boring) opinion on life and human growth.

Spoiler: People have flaws, we don't all overcome those flaws.Your boy Luke is no exception.

Consider what nearly proved to be his downfall in Return of the Jedi: for all the Emperor's taunting about the Rebel Alliance's imminent demise, it was Darth Vader who finally pushed his Berserk Button by discovering that Leia was his twin sister and suggesting that if Luke didn't change sides, he and his master might have better luck turning her. Then, when Luke went berserk, it totally worked: he curb-stomped Darth Vader and still didn't go evil in the end. His father's killing off the Emperor also put an end to a whole lot of the Empire's evil and birthed the New Republic.

Flash forward thirty years, and once again someone is threatening everyone and everything Luke loves, and killing the guy would surely preempt a whole lot of trouble. In his heart of hearts, he doubtless remembers what Yoda taught him about how easy and seductive the Dark Side is, but he also remembers how Yoda's mistake of hiding the truth about his lineage from him nearly brought his downfall. He also remembers how killing the Emperor solved so many problems the way he'd better not try to solve them this time... Well, what's so tempting about that?

Luke had more to lose at this time. He knew what a relatively free, peaceful Galaxy looked like, and had other students to care for besides Ben. Instinctively, he was acting out of concern for them. Luke makes an important point when he gives Rey the truth: it is a split second. Luke is a hero, but he's human. He was impulsive and acted on instinct in his youth, so the fear of Ben turning is enough to push him to the edge for a second.

hopeforben . tumblr . com/post/623000635980333056/theres-a-significant-portion-of-the-fandom-that/embed

@emeraldspiral

@daughter-of-water

@someoneintheshadow456

#star wars #star wars the last jedi #luke skywalker #star wars meta

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thehollowprince · 5 years ago

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I will maintain til my dying breath that Rey was supposed to be Luke's daughter, and the sequel trilogy would have been about two cousins fighting over the Skywalker legacy (she wouldn't have been able to be his sister a la Jacen and Jaina. Ben and Han and Leia would have known her immediately, but her being his cousin would have made them not really knowing her but knowing her make sense) Hell the script sets it up with Luke, knowing who she is (so say her mother/ Luke's SO took her away - 1/?

her way from the Jedi Temple because she feared Ben, and then something happened, and she was killed on Jakku, and like her death hit something Luke in a force wave and that’s why he can’t sense Rey is his daughter or whatever - look I reject the Sequel trilogy and replace it with my head canon okay?- all the callbacks: including the way Rey resembles Padme, Leia and Shmi- would have made sense. Her being a Palpatine doesn’t. But when Rian made her a “nobody” and stared pushing Reylo and 2/? all the mainstream commentators started talking about their connection ( isn’t it interesting they ignore that Finn was set up as Rey’s love interest? I wonder why),it does feel like J.J was forced into a corner, and this was the mess he came up with, cause I don’t know how he could have fixed the mess that TLJ was

Sorry I didn’t answer this right away. I got these at the end of my night shift and I wanted to be rested and awake before I answered it. With that, let’s get to it.

The problem with Disney’s acquisition of Lucasfilm back in 2012 was first and foremost the fact that they completely disregarded and dismissed the thirty plus years of extra material they had in the form of books, comics, television shows and video games. We had so much material to draw from for this sequel trilogy - George Lucas was even still alive so they could have consulted him on any kind of plan he had for his supposed nine film arc.

Even if we were to just focus on the material we got post-RoTJ, we still have so much to draw from. As you mentioned, Jacen and Jaina Solo, or Luke’s relationship with with Mara Jade, Jacen’s fall to the dark side, the Yuuzhan Vong war or even venturing further into the future to look at the rise of the One Sith, and dealing with Cade Skywalker’s flirtation with the dark side.

The fact that Disney discarded all of this and then cherry-picked from it to Frankenstein together some of these characters for the sequel trilogy.

For example, and as you and many others have pointed out since The Force Awakens, Kylo Ren/Ben Solo is just a cheap version of Jacen Solo from the Expanded Universe/Legends continuity, with some added elements of Darth Revan from the Knights of the Old Republic and a hint of Cade Skywalker from the Legacy Era, particularly this last little bit involving Force Healing at the eleventh hour. And in a similar vein, Rey is based off of Jaina… to an extent.

I don’t think their intention was ever quite so simple as a copy-and-paste by taking those two characters and making them the center of this new trilogy. If anything, watching this new trilogy, it’s very clear that they never had any plan for all three films. Disney went into this knowing they were going to be producing a trilogy, but approached it more like the original, on a movie-to-movie basis, pretending that they weren’t going to move forward unless the first one (TFA) was a success, which as we all know is bullshit. They ended that movie on a cliffhanger with the company announcing the Episode VIII before Episode VII even aired. So, while I believe that maybe someone on the production team, maybe J.J. or Kennedy or someone else high up came up with these characters that were mosaics of their Legends characters, that was only for that first movie. Then Rian did what he wanted with them, until we got to this last film where they were their own “fleshed-out” characters, while still relying heavily upon the original source material.

Personally, I would have loved for Rey to have been Luke’s daughter, though I don’t think Disney ever would have gone the route of your theory. If there’s one thing we’ve learned from them since they took over all of these big franchises, its that they don’t care to put much thought or effort into it. Everything is the cheapest and laziest writing possible, taking the quickest and easiest path to the end without putting any actual thought into it, just imagining all the zeros on the check they’re trying to get.

Having her and Kylo/Ben be cousins would have nicely mirrored the original franchise where the father and son (Vader and Luke) were both trying to turn the other to their side. That would have been a nice parallel for these films, given how much they went out of their way to make these new characters being just copies of the originals. Kylo was obviously supposed to be Vadar, with Rey being Luke, Poe being Leia, Finn being Han, BB8 being R2, Hux as Tarkin, etc. It was fairly evident that not a lot of effort was put into this series aside from an effort to grab money.

Even the big reveal that Rey was a Palpatine was cheap and lazy, an attempt to walk back The Last Jedi, but still give those loud and annoyingly persistent Reylos what they wanted, even if only the briefest of moments. Although J.J. coming out later and saying the kiss was like that between siblings was weird and I’m begging him to shut up.

At the end of the day, all we can do is either accept this steaming pile of garbage as canon, or rely entirely on our own headcanons. Despite how lazy Disney and Lucasfilm was when it came to the creation of these new characters, I, like many others, latched onto them. I connected with them and I’ve decided to completely ignore what I don’t like about canon, something I do quite a lot anymore in this era of “subverting expectations”, and just use them how I want. In my headcanon, Luke didn’t give up and become a Space Hobo like Rian made him. Finn was the protagonist along with Rey, as well as being in a relationship with Poe. Rose had a prominent role in the story and Kylo died unredeemed. I’m planning on doing what I started to do with the MCU’s Civil War and I’m going to try and fix it to match what I feel like it should have been originally.

#i've got mail #star wars #i feel like this got rambly #and for that i apologize #the rise of skywalker #the last jedi #the force awakens #tros critical #tlj critical #tfa critical #the sequel trilogy #star wars critical #anti disney #just my thoughts

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smordesigns · 5 years ago

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Why Ben Solo Died

So I have quickly fallen into the Ben Solo hole. Literally as of January 10th I hadn't read a single thing about Reylo or Kylo Ren beyond having seen The Force Awakens in 2015. I had a son in 2016 and my husband and I didn’t love Rogue One so when The Last Jedi came out we shrugged and went on with our lives. Now we did visit WDW in 2018 and had pictures with Chewie and Kylo (my husband is a Kylo/Sith fan) - me it was a cool story but that was it. Come January 14 - my company does a massive firing and to cope with it I go to my Everlark A03 list and start to read. I had been on Tik Tok earlier and someone had posted the “I Need a Hero” video with Ben Solo kicking ass. so I had this thought - “let me look up Ben and Rey on A03.”

I was hooked - started reading all of this fanfiction, looking up fanart, got back on Tumblr just like in 2014 when I fell for Everlark. Now I talked to a couple people at work and knew I needed to see the movies and finally talked my husband into watching the Sequel series and watching TROS in theaters on Saturday (1/25). I know why everyone is hurt. Ben had his redemption but his Happily Ever After - or even the acceptance by those who knew he had turned his back on the darkness was cut short. Everyone is blaming JJ Abrams for crap writing and Disney for rushing the sequels but in watching all three last week its a really good story. Here’s why I believe they killed Ben off and didn’t say goodbye in the end:

#GirlPower

Now I’m going to get yelled at by someone who says thats bullshit or unfair or whatever but let me explain.

In the original trilogy they made a strong female character in Leia as we know its takes reading into older movies to find the #girlpower but its almost always there - just gotta realize what the women are doing - they are all strong in their own way BUT Leia was not the main character - Luke was.

In the prequel trilogy again another strong female character in Padme but the issue here was she didnt have a lot of screentime - Obi Won and Anakin were the focus of these movies.

So when Disney decided to continue what did they do? Write a strong female character in Rey but instead of the man being the focus they wanted Rey to be the saviour and leader with the help of Leia. Here’s where they found issues - they made the character that everyone knew from Canon and his history very appealing. They did not expect to have the redemption of Ben Solo be of focus. They knew they needed a bad guy and fans loved him after TFA - evident when you go to their merchandise or parks but the plan was to kill him or do a quick save like Vader at the end of the movies - but he wasn’t ever going to survive because they needed that final shot to be of Rey. To show a woman could carry a series and live without a man.

The only reason we got the redemption we did (again all my speculation) is because of Rian Johnson and the story he started in TLJ and the storyline of the Skywalkers - he couldnt end up bad. Now I do believe they have left the door open to continue Rey and Ben’s story but the question is will they because of comments made “This is the end of the Skywalker story” etc. Also do Daisy and Adam want to continue the story? I DO NOT want to see anyone else play those characters but with Adam’s rise in fame its going to be hard to get anything done - and they cant wait. I do agree a quick series in Disney+ like the WandaVision would be the best option. Showing her getting him back from the WBW if thats possible.

I purchased the extended version books this weekend to continue my obsession and if you notice I am all about posting this right now. I cant wallow any longer but i wanted to put my thoughts out there as to why Ben was killed as quickly as he was once he truly showed who he was and had nothing after.

Edit: Additional thought- JJ’s initial goal with Kylo was to create another Vader. No one refers to him as Anakin (prior to the prequels) but as Vader. The fact that he came back to the light for his son didn’t matter to anyone - he was always known as Vader. He’s one of those classic villain characters. JJ supposedly loves Star Wars and probably wanted to create a character just as memorable as Vader. That was his goal with Kylo Ren but unlike Vader who really has very little humanity until the very end we got Kylo/Ben and saw his humanity in TFA. This is why his redemption had to be stronger than Vader’s- Kylo had more humanity and we as humans want humanity to thrive. This is why we are upset about how quickly Rey gets over Ben. It’s not the fact that he died, had no lines, or whatever it’s that his mourning did not fit his plot line in the story. JJ had to bring in Palpatine because Kylo wasn’t strong enough to just flip at the end or be the evil baddie that Dey beats to have eternal happiness. he needed to do more than just take one second to throw someone off a cliff as Vader does and giving of his life to someone who is dead is so much stronger - plus it’s groundbreaking in Star Wars and ties back to Anakin so well. But again this conversation wouldn’t have happened if we had gotten one more minute of Rey grief or a quick force ghost from Leia saying thank you for my son. Something that says one of Rey’s goals is accomplished because honestly them laughing and hugging at the end said none of that. Even her taking the Skywalker name was an “eh” moment. I didn’t need Ben as a ghost or with her at the end but I wanted a tear something more than “Ben!” And move on. That’s where I think JJ got his wish.

Also you can tell Ben Solo was never end game because there is a decidedly lack of Ben Solo merchandise. Come one Funko just one figurine if Ben Solo doing their shrug in the black sweater - is it too much to ask for?

#tros #star wars #ben solo #reylo #theory #disney #jj abrams #kylo redemption #kylo ren #tlj #tfa #sequel #funkopop #savebensolo #bringbackbensolo

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unexpectedreylo · 6 years ago

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Oh Ye Of Little Faith

What is wrong with Reylo-dom these days? Was it Daisy’s interview with Steele? Was it the lack of obvious Reylo in the TROS trailer (as though they were going to show us anything)? Is it that ant* psy-ops is working?

It’s all of those things BUT at least on the Reylo Facebook groups I’ve seen another reason why some Reylos are wavering and starting to offer up “Oh well, I’ll love it anyway” statements (which I reject in my “It’s Reylo Or Bust” post). And it’s what I said in my reblog of another post a couple of nights ago...it seems that many of these Reylos are diehard shippers whose previous favored ships didn’t fare well and now they’re setting themselves up not to be disappointed.

I am not a shipper by nature. I don’t watch t.v. shows and movies looking to see who I can mentally hook up. In fact, I don’t get invested in t.v. couples anymore. That’s a lesson learned from “Moonlighting” when I was in high school. I was an X-Phile who wasn’t really in favor of Mulder and Scully getting together unless it was the very last episode. Given what a hot mess the writers made of their relationship, my instinct was correct. Some t.v. shows still have great writing but many do not, which is why I don’t bother with a lot of scripted shows anymore. Most t.v. writers have no idea how to write a functional long-lasting relationship that remains fresh or entertaining. Soap operas are the worst about this, which is why I’ve always found it silly to get attached to a “hot couple” on a soap. They’ll break up or one will die sooner or later.

I bring this up because in a FB post, the OP mentions her bad experience with “Johnlock,” how its non-happening reduced her to tears, and her hope we won’t let Reylo being a non-starter drag us down into that kind of emotional toilet bowl. Fair enough. My reaction would likely be, “Well, they screwed the pooch on that one” and “I doubt I’ll ever invest this much in any future films if this is what they’re going to do.”

I’m well aware fans are great at creating subtext out of nothing and noticing secret signals that aren’t there or weren’t intended to be taken a certain way, then they’ll fight like hell against anyone who tells them, “You’re just making this up.” I think some Reylos worry they might be under some kind of mass delusion. I’m also well aware of showrunners and t.v. writers who actively toy with their audience, knowing the bait is getting people to watch and to generate buzz. Then when it’s time to deliver, it’s, “Oops, we didn’t mean it, LOL.” I think Reylos fear this is happening as well. Some showrunners and writers end up pulling their punches, like when the writers of “Avatar: The Last Airbender” decided to put Katara with Aang for no other reason than he’s the hero even though it seemed like the real action was between Katara and Zuko. We’re terrified of the writers wimping out on Rey and Ben. Then there are the times when sparks fly unexpectedly and viewers are led down a path the show creators never intended. For example, “Smallville” had so much chemistry between Clark Kent and Lex Luthor, people were calling it “Slashville.” The writers and producers probably thought this would be a drag on the credibility of Clark’s relationship with Lana, so their solution was to have fewer scenes between Clark and Lex. I’m sure some Reylos fear this might be nothing more than unintended chemistry between the actors rather than something Lucasfilm wanted.

It’s all understandable. But ignoring all of the meta and videos in favor of Reylo, you still have a great deal being hinted at on the official side of things, especially with TLJ. Why would Rian Johnson talk about the hand touch scene as being as close to a sex scene as you’ll get in Star Wars? What about all of the erotic/sexual imagery in TLJ? Or the girl-walks-in-on-a-guy-partially-or-totally-undressed trope? Why on Earth would Adam Driver ask Johnson if Kylo had ever kissed a girl before when it came to developing these scenes with Rey? Why was Finn passed off to Rose? What’s with Johnson explaining that Kylo’s “you’re nothing but not to me” speech was basically his weird twisted version of Julia Roberts’s “I’m just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her” speech from “Notting Hill?”

Of course I’m worried about Abrams wimping out, retreating, or retconning because theoretically it can happen. But is he likely to do that? Probably not because he’s the one who set this in motion in the first place. He’s the one who commented in the 3D Blu-Ray version of TFA that Rey is like Cinderella and Kylo’s like the prince. He’s the one who said they’re going to have a “very interesting relationship going forward.” He could’ve told Johnson, “Nooo, don’t go there with Kylo and Rey. That’s not what we’re shooting for.” Or, “Eww, they’re cousins, bro.” But he didn’t. The Reylo vibes in TFA were so subtle and nearly buried by the plot, only a select few ever saw them. But they’re obvious in TLJ, which is why Reylo fandom exploded after the film came out. Abrams can’t back out of that now. He’s got to bring it home.

#reylo #reylo fam #reylo fandom #rey x kylo ren #rey x ben #tros speculation #episode ix #star wars

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powerful-light-powerful-darkness · 5 years ago

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I think this is an important debate right now so I'm gonna just drop the whole article in here as well:

By John Hoey, April 13, 2020

"Daisy Ridley has been a part of Star Wars for over five years and has seen the best and worst sides of its fans. Now that the sequel trilogy has ended, concluding Rey’s story (for now), the actress shared her take on the constant negativity coming from fans who didn’t like The Rise of Skywalker and the impact it has on those who create the films, as well as her personal etiquette and social media preferences. Ridley’s thoughts on online fan culture make this as good a time as any for us fans to take a reflective look at ourselves and the impact we have on the Star Wars franchise and its future.

In an appearance on the podcast DragCast, Ridley was asked about her personal social media preferences and spoke clearly about why she doesn’t have social media (it’s not as dramatic as some have made it out to be), and her thoughts on the fans who choose to lash out with backlash toward Star Wars films, most recently The Rise of Skywalker.

First it needs to once again be made clear why Daisy Ridley is not publicly on social media:

“I was asked to go on it, and, at the time, I was like, ‘Okay,’ and then it got to the point where I didn’t want to be on it and I was at my friend’s house in L.A., and I remember being like, ‘Oh, I don’t want to be on Instagram,’ and they were like, ‘Well, why don’t you come off?’ and I was like, ‘Oh.’ And it was really a nice, autonomous decision. Because I was like, ‘Oh, I don’t actually have to be on it. This is nice.’ And I always had a limit to what I shared anyway and, honestly, my life isn’t that exciting. So there were a lot of separate things.”

Ridley talks about how things have changed since 2015’s The Force Awakens, which was universally loved for the most part. If you read between her carefully chosen words, she is basically saying social media has brought negativity much more to the surface than it used to be.

“It’s changed film by film, honestly. Like 98%, it’s so amazing. This last film, it was really tricky. January was not that nice. It was weird, I felt like all of this love that we’d sort of been shown the first time around, I was like ‘Where’s the love gone?’ I watched the documentary, the making-of, this week, and it’s so filled with love, and I think it’s that tricky thing of when you’re part of something that is so filled with love and then people. You know, everyone’s entitled to not like something, but it just, it feels like it’s changed slightly, but I think in general that’s because social media and what have you.”

Ridley takes to the popular lesson parents everywhere try to teach their kids, “If you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Well, that doesn’t play in fandoms, of any kind. Daisy admits to finding the backlash to The Rise of Skywalker upsetting, and how she tries to avoid it as much as possible, while acknowledging how easy it is for people to have an outlet, in turn leading to more opinions reaching the public sphere.

“I think in general, people share so much on social media that if I went—I don’t have social media, anyway—but if I went to a film and didn’t like it, I just wouldn’t tweet about it,” she continued. “But it’s such a conversation and it always has been. I guess now conversations are just more public, so there’s stuff I wouldn’t have seen, but honestly trying to scroll through my newsfeed in January and trying not to see Star Wars stuff, I’d see headlines and be like ‘Oh my god this is so upsetting.’ So it’s been tricky, but then it’s having that thing of I feel really proud of it, and I’m so thrilled to be part of it. Yeah, but it’s a funny thing.”

I think a big part of the allure to posting our takes into the endless reaches of social media is people want to be heard and feel relevant. There is an inherent human instinct to want validation, and if your thoughts on something get showered with likes and retweets and comments, that validation is fed. But, if our output is negative it can snowball into a sub-culture that has a significant impact. I have had conversations with plenty of people over the years in the film industry and even inside Lucasfilm who have said they pay attention to what’s going on on social media. Now I say that with hesitation as that could entice people to be more vocal, but the point is, they keep tabs on who says what, especially those who are legitimate influencers in the community. They pay attention more than you realize.

The downside of this is creators and talent are also very aware, and for some it has become unattractive to want to work on Star Wars after seeing the hell and hate George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, Rian Johnson, and other creatives have gone through. Perhaps that’s why we’re scratching our heads lately at some of the unknown names we’re seeing popping up as writers and other significant crew members on important upcoming projects. The editor of Del Rey books Tom Hoeler publicly admitted it is hard finding authors to write Star Wars books, which is under a much, much dimmer spotlight than writers, directors, and actors.

The more Star Wars “fans” poison the well of social media with negativity, backlash, and hate toward the films and those who make them, the harder it will be for Lucasfilm to convince talented people to want to work on projects from a galaxy far, far away, when they can just as easily take their talents to less murky waters.

There are varying degrees as well as extremes of negativity online, and the biggest extreme are those who threaten violence against creators. Now some will say this is just a joke, but I can’t imagine how anyone would find something like this humorous, especially in today’s world.

Now many will rebut by saying that type of behavior is not representative of all who didn’t like the movie, and that is completely true. That goes without saying. But, as with what happened with The Last Jedi, where hate toward the movie and Rian Johnson permeated for years after the movie’s release (continuing to this day), perpetual and constant output of negativity, even if done without hostility, fosters and ferments the culture of hate. As Daisy Ridley said, everyone has a right to not like something, but I am not sure what good it does if you voice that disdain and/or hate non-stop. If you left the theater after seeing The Rise of Skywalker and took to your Twitter account to tell your followers you hated the movie, that’s all well and good. Did you take the next couple of weeks to point out things you didn’t like about it? That makes sense. Your message was likely received. But if you feel a need to constantly beat the same drum of negativity over and over five months later and into the future, perhaps you need to rethink your approach if you believe your thoughts haven’t been clear or resonated with people.

I am personally not a big fan of The Clone Wars or Ahsoka Tano, but instead of bashing Dave Filoni or the animation department on a daily basis, I opt to talk about things I like instead. I catch myself taking a turn to negative town from time to time, we all have our moments, but I think if we care about Star Wars and want it to succeed and attract the best filmmakers and talent possible, perhaps it’s our responsibility as fans to be better and create a better online culture together. Not all fans pay attention to the pulse of fans online, but it’s a growing part of all fandoms, not a shrinking one, so I hope we can all channel our inner Jedi and be more polite, respectful, and kind to creatives and each other on social media and in general.

This culture of negativity is not limited to Star Wars, as other movie and TV franchises, sports, music, and anything with mass followings suffer from similar problems. I still believe Star Wars fans are overall good, and while sometimes we feel smothered by the spread of negative vibes when we try to connect with our fellow fans online, we need to always try to remember one thing about the good people in this fandom…there are more of us."

#daisy ridley #the rise of skywalker #star wars #fandom discourse #tros negativity #star wars negativity #fandom negativity #anti tros #rian johnson #jj abrams #star wars fandom #sw discourse #tros backlash #rey

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