#Rereading the Terror

[saints-who-never-existed]

"He left unstated that some might survive awhile longer here by eating the bodies of the dead. He also did not mention that he, Dr Harry D. S. Goodsir, had decided that he would not turn cannibal to survive, nor help those who found need to. His dissection instructions at the previous day's muster assembly were his last words on the subject. Yet he would also never cast judgement on the men here at Rescue Camp or on the expedition south who did end up eating human flesh to last a short while longer. If any man on the Franklin Expedition understood that the human body was a mere animal vessel for the soul - and only so much meat once that soul had departed - it was their surviving surgeon and anatomist Dr Harry Goodsir."

[cockroachesunite]

[representative-democracy]

Everyone else on the expedition must having been googling shit like "how to get my bosses to either fuck nasty or get divorced" and "is proximity to the inherent-eroticism-of-being-rivals something I can bring to HR?"

[prev][next]

+ i just like how sad they all look while JFJ serves cunt as a burrito

[even-in-arcadia]

I was rereading "Lovers of Human Flesh" by Caleb Crain as one does and I was very struck by two particular lines in relation to one Cornelius Hickey:

Incorporating what you love is a sure way to see that it never escapes from you.

and

Eating something is a way of keeping it with you forever, but it is also a way of destroying it.

I don't need to delve into the implications for Hickey's actual cannibalism - that's been done by those better (and more attached to Hickey) than I. What I want to talk about more is this concept in relationship to Hickey's ambitions to godhood.

Hickey has a plan always, at all times. It's a plan that shifts based on what seems best for him, what seems most convenient, and whatever he thinks his relationship to Crozier is at any given moment. They all essentially make sense in a scrappy, aggrieved, mutiny kind of way. Until: Solomon Tozer tells him, horrified, that he witnessed the Tuunbaq eat Mr. Collins' soul. Hickey says, specifically, that this merits a change in plan. He spends a long time by himself on a hill doing --we'll never know what.

EC/Cornelius Hickey, a man who clearly has never known a love that didn't turn on him or leave, has determined to be become melded to the Tuunbaq, an eater of souls. Gibson turned on him by falsely representing their relationship to Irving; Crozier turned on him by denying the "clear" bond they had and denying Hickey's gift of Lady Silence; he's been betrayed by this entire voyage that was supposed to take him to Oahu. Who knows what other loves have betrayed him.

If the Tuunbaq can eat souls, if Hickey can become connected with that power, then perhaps he too will be able to incorporate souls! Perhaps he will be able to finally ensure that something, someone will never turn on him. And if those souls must be destroyed in the process, what is it to him? Has the world not spent his entire time on earth trying to destroy him? (Conjecture: but given what we learn of him, the Nagaitis lore, and the cultural & economic context in which he exists, I think this is reasonable.) He yells into the Arctic air:

Bugger Victoria! Bugger Nelson! Bugger Jesus! Bugger Joseph, bugger Mary! Bugger the Archbishop of Canterbury! NONE EVER WANTED NOTHING FROM ME

He feels abandoned by every institution of society, and so he is going to create one in his own image. He offers a captain, an officer, a marine, and a ship's boy: the ship's hierarchy in miniature. If he feeds the Tuunbaq their souls and then melds with Tuunbaq himself, he can eat society and reconstitute it not just in his own image but in his own person, with only his chosen loyal followers, those who do want something from him. As Crain says, "In Freud's Totem and Taboo, the cannibal feast is the founding act of crime and sharing that binds society." That's the founding myth Hickey is not just counting on but trying to actively create.

And maybe, maybe! When he has access to Tuunbaq's power - will he have a line on those souls as well? Tuunbaq devours both body and soul in tandem, suggesting they are connected. As Hickey has already eaten of Gibson's flesh, maybe he can reconstitute and reingest that as Gibson's soul. Thus the destruction becomes the resurrection becomes the incorporation. Crain writes: "The body is a convenient boundary for the definition of the self. [...] in practice the peculiar act [cannibalism and homosexuality] violates that boundary. The act offers an ecstatic union." A cannibal rat wedding, if you will.

Crozier says to Hickey, "You must be a surpassingly lonely man." Hickey doesn't deny this. He merely says "Not for long." This is about power, but it is also about an end to loneliness, to his sense of betrayal at all levels and at every turn. Of course, it doesn't work out. In not caring about who suffered the consequences of his actions, he failed to take into account that incorporation & ingestion involve destruction. He thought himself the instrument of this, but by failing to see the Tuunbaq unto itself, as something other than a tool, as the independent Arctic that could never stomach Western society and live: he turned that back on himself and so was himself destroyed.

[einsatzzz]

Homicipher ft. Ryuuka rough drawings...plus some ramblings below! (there will be spoilers from the game btw)

I've always loved otome games but I didn't expect to like this game this much when I first watched a playthrough of it. Like, I didn't even know it was an otome game when I clicked on the video to watch it! I thought it's a normal horror vn game djdhdjvdjd

Anyway, I'm lowkey obsessed with these freaks. I especially like the four characters above so far. And I didn't get to draw them here but I like Mr. Chopped, Bride, Mr. Gap and Mr. Machete too! Also, this might already be expected of me, but I love the MC(Adami) too, they're so interesting!

Since I ended up liking it a lot and I also needed to get these wiggles off my brain, I ended up cooking some not-so-serious AU where Ryuuka gets isekai'd to their monster world. I chose Ryuuka because I know she would thrive there (she has quite the homicidal/murderous tendencies/urges, only kept at bay by her pursuit of knowledge + following her twin's moral compass) and can be a freak like Adami too fkhfmdbdnd so I thought it'd be interesting to yeet her in there!

I can imagine she's initially wearing her standard outfit at first (labcoat + black turtleneck dress), but at some point, it would be replaced by the raincoat since the labcoat would be soaked with too much blood (shoutout to Bride for the raincoat supplies). She's still wearing the turtleneck dress underneath because I don't think she'll fall in the water with those hand monsters, so she won't need a change of clothes for that one.

In terms of language learning, she's a pretty smart cookie, so she'll figure it out quite fast. So there's no problem there.

As for how the whole deal with Mr. Scarletella happened: I can imagine that since Ryuuka is a yakuza boss/assassin, she ends up dumping dead bodies of her victims in this strange but convenient building. Because somehow, the bodies dumped there are never found, which is a win for her. But then it turns out that that place is Mr. Scarletella's teritorry 😭😭 and he thought that those dead bodies that Ryuuka has been dumping to his place were offerings for him ("F-for me?! 🥺✨❤️" type of bs). That's why he ends up obsessed with her like in the og, so now he's chasing her down to get her name...👁️👄👁️ (deja vu...ive been in this place before...i can make a 🐥🍎 au out of this---)

Also another thing I wanna mention is that I firmly believe that Mr. Silvair and her would get along as both people of "science" dmbdmdbdnd but I must admit I need to re-watch and analyze his route and endings more, since I feel I'm still missing a few things abt him.

For Mr. Hood, I think she appreciates him teaching her about the language and him carrying her around when she does accidentally gets chibi-fied. In general, she appreciates people who are patient with her and people who knows when to stay quiet. The same would apply for Mr. Crawling though he's a bit on the chatty side. Ultimately, she also doesn't mind having a puppy-like character like him following her around.

My brain is starting to die again ughudhsjshhughhhhhh that's all for now!

[cultofthepigeon]

Pre-hamlet bigby like Help Me Budget

Food: 200 gold

Alchemy Supplies: 150 gold

Housing: 800 gold

Prostitutes and Opium: 3,500 gold

Fancy Boy Pants: 150

someone who is good at economy please help i think ive contracted lycanthropy

[palabraasinnecesarias]

comfort

ao3 | ff.net

ship: ranma/akane words: 1,221

They had been back from Jusenkyo, safe and sound, it should have been enough.

It was the middle of the night, the entire city asleep it seemed, and Akane couldn’t help but lift her heavy eyelids due to being awaken by a light shake. She moaned hesitantly, gently lifting her body as she fixed her gaze once it landed on her fiancé. She could hardly make his figure in the dark bedroom, but she knew it was him.  

She sat up completely and reached over to click her desk lamp on, noticing Ranma wincing apologetically at her. And then it dawned on her, he was waking her again, for the second night in a row. 

The young girl adjusted herself firmly as quickly as she could, her hands reaching forward until latching themselves on his as she asked, “Ranma, are you alright?” She could feel his large hands easily clutch their hold onto hers, clammy and warm. He was trembling, not horribly, but enough to make her worry.  

He nodded once, and then seemingly retracted with a mild shake to his head, whispering a horsed, “Sorry.”  

“Hey,” she called to him, shifting closer to him with a weary smile, wobbly and faint, “it’s okay. I promise,” she insisted with a soft voice of her own, her cool composure soothing his mind if only for a mere moment. He was looking at her, his thick eyebrows furrowing, taking a moment to clear his mind.  

And then he winced again, taking his eyes off her, crouching forward to inhaled deeply before releasing.  

One of her palms pushed upwards onto his arm, squeezing tenderly before dragging it back down, finding herself reminding him that everything was alright, he just needed to continue breathing.  

After some time, noting he was appearing to compose himself compared to just moments ago, she heard Ranma clear his throat. “I, uh,” he said, appearing embarrassed as he couldn’t seem to face her, “sorry, ‘Kane.”  

“Ranma,” she sighed, her eyebrows knitting together as her hands reached to touch his face, each palm warmly cupping his cheeks and gently forcing him to look at her, “don’t apologize. You have nothing to say sorry for.” And she meant every word. The corners of her eyes squinted lightly, her brown eyes drawing him in, feeling his heart squeeze at the way she was looking at him. She was beyond beautiful, and he felt himself fight the intense desperation to pull her close.  

Her dark wispy hairs framed her round face perfectly, with her naturally flushed cheeks glowing upon her fair skin as her long eyelashes batted so slowly at him. She offered an essence of innocence, angelic almost, and it hurt somehow. She was alive, and breathing, calming him.  

They had been back from Jusenkyo, safe and sound, it should have been enough. But the mere memory of then, just days ago, dragged a ferocious nature within him concerning her. He let his cheek press onto her palm, melting at the way her still-worried face smiled faintly at him. Remembering those heinous moments, unable to ignore the grimace of pain stinging about his chest, piercing through his lungs, causing some sort of physical pain throughout his body.  

Ranma pulled her to him and held her tight, the urges to feel her breathing against him a lot stronger than he’d thought.  

Akane’s face pressed against his chest, gasping softly as his arms wrapped themselves around her, feeling his nose pin itself at the top of her hair. She could feel his beating heart, the heat of his skin sticking onto hers, his light scent of sandalwood emitting from his muscle tank. And she knew why he had sought her out in the middle of the night, having admitted it to her just yesterday.  

Ranma dreams pertaining her had begun twisting into unpleasant ones, apparently very realistic he found himself rushing to her. He needed to know that she was alive, that she was breathing, and not...dead. 

At first, he felt foolish knowing very well that she was fine; she’d been the one to announce them home when they had first arrived back to Nerima, seemingly returning to normal around the Tendo household. But there was an urge itching at the back of her mind to follow her each time she’d leave his sight to go elsewhere, like her bedroom, or to bathe. He just needed to know, finding himself casually knocking at her door, or waiting outside the bathroom just in case.  

Last night, Akane had walked in on him just as he was about to go searching for her, noticing he wasn’t well. She sat with him, easing his tension until he could breathe again. “We’re home, we’re safe.”  

“I just...” he swallowed a lump gnawing at his throat, and she could hear it so clearly, so crisp, at her ear, feeling the way his fingertips firmly dug into her flesh, “I gotta’ make sure you’re...”  

“I’m okay,” she whispered, encouragingly, and she’d known he heard her by the way his arms tighten. There was comfort in the way he held her.  

She hadn’t known for how long they’ve stayed sitting, embraced within his hold, but she could feel him begin to doze off as his cheek slipped from the top of her head. She shook herself gently, softly calling his name a few times until he responded back with muffled groan.  

“You should go to bed,” she said, smiling wider at the way he squeezed her again.  

“Not...yet,” he sighed, adjusting his chin on her shoulder.  

She pulled away, slow enough to make sure he didn’t go stumbling down on her bed, angling herself to search his gaze, grinning once she’d found his drowsy stare. He was sleepy, and very adorable. “Hey,” she called again, her smile still large and vibrant, “wanna’ spend the night?”  

That had been enough to slap him awake. The pigtail-wearing martial artist blinked a few times, thinking he was a lot sleepier that he’d imagine. But Akane chuckled silently, her hands finding themselves on his cheeks again, her cheeky grin playful and lively as she said, “Get your head out of the gutter.”  

“I wasn’t- I didn’t- I-”  

“I just meant,” she pushed strands of short hairs behind her ear as she glanced away momentarily, feeling herself get flustered at her own invitation, “if you wanna’. You don’t have to-”  

“I do.”  

She looked back at him, her meek smile small, and she nodded. “Okay.”  

Settling into her bed hadn’t been weird like she’d imagine it’d be. They both laid underneath her covers after clicking the lamp off, making it harder to see each other in the darkness.  

“Thank you, ‘Kane,” he said lowly, and she felt the strings of her heart get tugged, understanding his need of comfort.  

“Night, Ranma.”  

[brutal-nemesis]

after all these years i have a fucking Rock Job im so so hyped oh my fucking god i will have money

[the-way-astray]

would you rather

make out with Keefe OR

make out with alvar

do you hate me

[carbonbasedmatter]

ADHD pro tip: if you need to remind yourself to do something put a pillow or some other item on the floor so you won't forget the next day (no I didn't learn this from Greg Heffley what are you talking about)

[saints-who-never-existed]

Rereading The Terror

Chapter Fifty-Nine: Hickey

Well, it's not looking good for the self-proclaimed 'Reigning King of the Franklin Expedition'!

His end, less dramatic perhaps than the show but infinitely more disturbing, is detailed below the cut.

He's the last one left although it's not immediately clear what precisely has done for many of the others - three weeks of non-stop freezing-cold blizzards, starvation/malnutrition, or murder most foul (although that last cause of death very much seems to be the leading one): "When, after more than three weeks of being unable to move because of the blizzards, winds, and plummeting temperatures, his dray beasts had whined and begged for food, Hickey had descended among them like a god and provided them with their loaves and fishes." "He had shot Strickland to feed Seeley." "He had shot Dunn to feed Brown." "He had shot Gibson to feed Jerry." "He had shot Best to feed Smith." "He had shot Morfin to feed Orren... or perhaps it was all the other way around. Hickey's memory could no longer be bothered with trivial matters."

He even shot Goodsir once for good measure after finding him dead. It doesn't appear that anyone consumed him at all in the book, just left him alone - "the poisoned thing and its contaminated shroud-tarp" as Hickey describes it.

It's all of no consequence to Hickey now, though. In his mind at least, he's yet again moved up in the world: "Sometime in the last few days or weeks, Cornelius Hickey realised, he had ceased being a king." "He was now a god."

And not only does he believe himself a god, Hickey believes himself imbued with the powers of one too: "When the storms ended - and Hickey now knew that He could command them to cease at any time if it pleased Him to do so - he would probably bring several of the men back from the dead so that they could finish hauling Magnus and Him to Terror Camp." I mean, if the curtain hadn't fallen away before then it well and truly does now! The depth of Hickey's delusion is absolutely pitiful to behold here, it really is...

And then there's Magnus... He's there in the pinnace with Hickey (Simmons clearly intended to reference the two skeletons discovered at McClintock's Boat Place here, I think) but he's not...there...any more. His untended bullet wounds festering, Magnus surrounds himself with Bibles - "stacking them like a little wall between Hickey and himself" - and grows quiet. He opens his mouth one final time - "as if to make a request of his lover and God" - before vomiting blood all over himself and finally dying.

Hickey is clearly unable to process this any more than he is all the deaths that came before: "His partner's Death Nap did not disturb Hickey - he knew that He could bring Magnus back whenever He chose to - but the open eyes endlessly staring over that gaping mouth and frozen icefall of blood began to get on the god's nerves after a day or two." "I'm sorry, love" Hickey whispers "But you know how I hate being stared at." before he gouges Manson's eyes out with a boat knife.

He reflects briefly, still ostensibly untroubled: "Cornelius Hickey had no regrets about any part of his former mortal life. He had done what he had to do. He had repaid those arrogant bastards who made the mistake of ever looking down upon him and shown the others a hint of his divine light" He only begins to falter in his delusions when Tuunbaq shows up...

Suddenly, he's afraid. Too afraid to turn his head to look at it, breath catching in his chest. "Hickey would have fallen to his knees and worshipped the creature at that moment if movement had been an option, but he was quite literally frozen in place." Tuunbaq sniffs around, attracted by the smell of Magnus's body and blood, and right before Hickey's eyes, proceeds to bite poor Manson's head clean off.

The howling wind produces musical notes as Tuunbaq continues with its meal, destroying Manson's body with terrifying efficiency - "the thing had not broken Manson the way Hickey had seen Magnus break a score of lesser men's backs and ribs: it had shattered Magnus the way a man would shatter a bottle or a porcelain doll."

Then, some of the most chilling words in the whole book: "It came for him next." I'm just going to share the entirety of what follows - I think it's entirely too spine-tingling to edit down: "Oh," said Cornelius Hickey." "It was the last word that Hickey ever spoke, but it was not so much a word as a single, long, terrified, speechless exhalation. Hickey felt his own last warm breath flowing out of him, out from his chest, up his throat, out through his open and straining mouth, hissing away between his shattered teeth, but instantly, he realised that it was not his breath leaving him forever, but his spirit, his soul." "The thing breathed it in." "But then, the creature huffed, snorted, backed away, shook its huge head as if it had been befouled. It dropped to all fours and left Cornelius Hickey's field of vision forever." "Everything had left Cornelius Hickey's field of vision forever."

[coloredcompulsion]

You ever just have media that is so psychologically damaging you end up making the characters in Stardew Valley so they can just,, chill for a bit. They need somewhere to rest and this is where they shall.

[innit1]

Step 1: Read Holy Terrors by @what-eats-owls in 12 hours (accompanied by @tiaragloryart)

Step 2: Get sad about the series being over.

Step 3: Immediately spend 6 hours screenshotting and editing whatever this is.

‼️GUARANTEED RESULTS ‼️

Side note- this book was genuinely such a perfect ending to the series, and the ending immediately made me think of this song, so enjoy.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

I ordered a used hardcover of Little Thieves from Half Price Books because I only had it on Kindle, and it arrived today and came with the seven full color prints and an invitation to Gisele's wedding???? Sorry Vanja, Fortune is my godmother now

[notafagipromise]

sometimes i hate reading fan fic because after it's over i will never have anything from that universe anymore and i will never feel what it made me feel again

[littleguy-pi]

? Girl who?? Secret sixth Goodsir brother sold to One Direction?? 🧍‍♂️