chief-cook-and-librarian

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

More actual things that happen in the 1897 Dracula novel without context, as people kept pointing out things I'd missed:

The entire plot happens because Dracula is a teaboo

A character proposes marriage with a scalpel in hand and keeps playing with it throughout the conversation

Dracula roasts a chicken

A vampire bat (not a vampire) somehow drinks enough of a horse's blood to cause the horse to collapse

Dracula gets smacked in the face with a shovel

After attributing nightmares to paprika consumption, a character eats more paprika for breakfast

The heroes hire a locksmith to make their home invasion look more respectable

To prepare for raiding a vampire's lair, one character brings three small dogs

A character laments being unable to wed multiple people at once

A therapist starts speculating about elephants' souls mid-session

An official cause of death is written as "misadventure in falling from bed"

Dracula has a Krampus-esque sack that he shoves children into

A character realizes that his host has no reflection but is more concerned with shaving than investigating that

A reporter brags about his running speed mid-article

Dracula, while trying to maintain a low profile, goes by the incredibly subtle alias "de Ville"

A character is misled by phonetic spelling

A character receives three marriage proposals in one day

The SPCA tries to adopt Dracula

A doctor refers to a patient as his "pet lunatic"

We are told vampires can be defeated by putting branches on their coffins

A character gets slashed at with a knife and loot splatters on the floor, like a video game NPC

Dracula is a horsegirl

A character brings anti-vampire flowers but doesn't tell anyone the purpose of said anti-vampire flowers, which leads to another character moving them and enabling a vampire attack

A character's hair turns from dark to white literally overnight

Twice in the novel, Dracula says "Bah!" The second time is his final line of dialogue

There's a deleted scene of Dracula lying on top of the protagonist and licking him for hours

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

illustration of irina and miryem from naomi novik's "spinning silver"! I read this book over the christmas period (appropriately, as it's a very wintry tale) and it reignited all my old love for eastern european folklore. i might do some more illustrations for it if the inspiration stays with me

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

✨🩸La belle dame sans merci but make it Little Thieves🩸✨

@what-eats-owls

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

I ordered a used hardcover of Little Thieves from Half Price Books because I only had it on Kindle, and it arrived today and came with the seven full color prints and an invitation to Gisele's wedding???? Sorry Vanja, Fortune is my godmother now

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

every update I see for the Murderbot show makes me think of this meme, so I decided to make it real.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

Illustration made for A Dança da Floresta (Wildwood Dancing) by Juliet Marillier. Hardcover book edition by Editora Wish. 2021.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

READ MY BOOKSHELF | wildwood dancing by juliet marillier

"You must learn to trust your instincts, or you are doomed to spend your life blinded by duty while beside you a wondrous tree sprouts and springs up and buds and blooms, and your heart takes no comfort from it, for you cannot raise your eyes to see it."

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

Illustration made for A Dança da Floresta (Wildwood Dancing) by Juliet Marillier. Hardcover book edition by Editora Wish. 2021.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

no i dont understand why you are in love with a vampire you have only met twice and how dare you compare your relationship with him to the relationship i have with my best friend, i dont care that hes a talking frog, we have been inseparable for the last nine years

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

"Not all were joyful tales; we needed to acknowledge that love was not just kisses, smiles, and fulfillment, but also sacrifice, compromise, and hard work."

Commissioned art of Wildwood Dancing by Juliet Marillier 🧚🏻‍♀️ art by goldenmushroom_ (here) ✨

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

I had someone on insta point out to me that Gideon is described as being of Maori decent (which I appreciate them trying to be kind and also give that bit of info) So I decided to change up Gideon's nose and skin color.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

This is a portfolio project from last year! I'm interested in chapter book illustration jobs, so I mocked up the cover and first five chapters of a childhood favorite, Dealing with Dragons.

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

A non exhaustive list of things Tamora Pierce taught/influenced me on.

Periods exist

You don’t have to (and probably shouldn’t) marry the first guy you date

Chickens are the stupidest birds (I know she’s backtracked/regretful about this but I can’t shake it)

A undead dinosaur army is literally the coolest concept ever

Crows are the best

Servants often make the best spies

Bullying is not just a “childhood” thing people grow out of, it can and does often does have serious consequences

Delegation/management is an actual skill that most people don’t have (I’m not sure why the clerks’ death in Lady Knight is the thing that always sets me off crying but it does)

There’s magic in everyday creativity

Forest fires are the most terrifying thing to experience

Except not really because actually the isolation from a wide spread disease is humanity’s worst nightmare (wish we hadn’t experienced this first hand 😭)

Respect sanitation workers

Friendships are more complicated as adults, but also sometimes the first step is realizing friends mostly likely won’t judge you as harshly as you judge yourself

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

If you liked Emily Wilde’s Encyclopedia of Faeries, try A Letter to the Luminous Deep

They both include:

scholarly characters studying magical worlds

stories told in epistolary form

romance between characters with lots of personality

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

“Robin thought about the string that Edwin used in his spells: how a particular cradle might have five or six or eight lines of the pattern joining one hand to another. Binding them close. Robin and Edwin had already shared a handful of secrets, and now they shared another, and this awareness of their common nature—in a way that had nothing whatsoever to do with magic—hung delicate and unspoken between them as they left the room.” - @fahye, A Marvellous Light

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

this is what peak romance looks like ok

(commission info // kofi support!)

[chief-cook-and-librarian]

"She had sacrificed her childhood to save her brothers; she loved her family above all else, and her spirits yearned to return home once more, to the wild forest and the land of mystic tales and ancient spirits whence he had taken her. That was the place of her heart, and if he loved her, he must let her go."

My latest commission: Sorcha from Daughter of the Forest by Juliet Marillier 🌿

Artist: goldenmushroom_ (link to post)