#Relationship Woes

[irieman]

[cozy-hours]

I don’t know how I’ve survived heartbreak 9+ times from the same person… since 21. This woman has unnerved me and currently has me at my lowest of lows…. literal heartbreak hotel, rock bottom suite for one.

… and yet, if she came to me and said she wanted to give us another go? I’d be at her feet in a millisecond.

being an incurable hopeless romantic is one thing, but being hopelessly romantic about an incurable ladies man per say has definitely made its mark as the absolute worst.

[curryvillain]

Nile SNL Follows Up With New Single, "Mumma"

Recording Artist Nile SNL is back at it again with new music. Having gained some viral love from the previously released, “Poem Of Chop“, he looks to keep the vibe going, and possibly secure more than viral attention. He was making the necessary moves to spoil his Woman on the last single, now he’s at odds with her in, “Mumma“. Produced by Overyard Production, Nile SNL wants peace, and to be in…

[sheilamurrey]

May 13th - Dysfunctional magnet (relationship woes and lessons learned)

It’s May 13th, 2024; Here’s an original uptempo rock country fusion song about dysfunctional relationships so many of us have experienced. This is one of my favorite songs of ours as Richard and I used to sing/perform it (with a gender change and without the spoken part at the end). I sing it with a twang if you can imagine. Perhaps I’ll get the opportunity to sing it again out somewhere. Open…

[shandraj]

Stuck somewhere between being used by a narcissist and still in love.

[itsreaditandwow2]

And if you're wondering who I blame.. Is it Tina? Is it Mom? Is it Jenny? Is it Bridgette? No. I blame Grim.

Michael Green (KidBehindACamera)

[skywriterjade]

I am the therapist friend. Every day, I thank God for making me acearo-spec because if I had to deal with half of the things I help my friends cope with I'd off myself.

Like, if your partner cheated many, many, many times throughout your relationship. Over 7 yrs together. The logical thing after trying to make it work the first time (maybe first three I'll allow as they both did awful things and really wtaf ppl) is to leave. Like, your mental health is not worth that.

Do I say all of this so bluntly? No. Do I wish I could? Yes. But I love my friend and I know it's not what they need to hear rn because everyone has been telling them this for years. Years! This last break up was supposed to be the end. Wtf

[kazifatagar]

Single mum is first woman in Terengganu to get rotan

A single mum has become the first woman in Terengganu to be sentenced to whipping for “khalwat” in Terengganu, as she is to get six strokes of the cane and a fine of RM4,000, in default eight months in jail.. The woman, Nurfifi Amira Nawi, pleaded guilty to the offence. She was found to be with a 40-year-old man who was not her husband or mahram in a house in Kemaman, at about 3.15pm on Jan…

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 16 is up! ***

Chapter Summary: As pieces of the puzzle continue to fall into place for Ed, he demands the truth from Karen.

Chapters: 16/? Fandom: For All Mankind (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gordo Stevens/Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin/Karen Baldwin Characters: Gordo Stevens, Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin, Danielle Poole, Danny Stevens, Jimmy Stevens, Karen Baldwin, Kelly Baldwin, Margo Madison, Molly Cobb, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong Additional Tags: Episode: s02e10 The Grey (For All Mankind), canon until it's not, Fix-It, fam - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Timeline, Jamestown - Freeform, El Gordo, Welcome Home Party, Gordo's weight loss, Injury Recovery, Fix It Fic, For All Mankind fix it fic, For All Mankind fix it, Michael Dorman, post season 2 fix it fic, Friendship, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Female Friendship, Established Relationship, weight loss, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Joel Kinnaman - Freeform Series: Part 1 of For All Mankind Summary:

***FOR ALL MANKIND S1 & S2 SPOILERS AHEAD***

I just finished watching season 2 of For All Mankind for the first time, and I am in much need of a fix-it fic, so here it is.

Gordo & Tracy fix the nuclear reactor's coolant system and return to the Jamestown airlock. Everything after this is my alternate universe/timeline wherein they both survive and have a chance to face the world (& beyond) together again.

[neverendingcomplaints]

I feel like

I'm on fire for him, but he's just lukewarm for me.

[photos-the-wereplant]

Really glad Tumblr is here for when I want to talk about something but don't know who to talk to and just wanna ramble without feeling like I'm typing into a notepad that'll sit in my documents for years without anyone ever seeing it.

Anyways, had a breakup. A confusing one. Things were great. We were a great match. But there were some things that I didn't quite understand when they happened (but now I do).

I guess, long story short, I was a rebound. She'd been dumped by her fiance earlier in the year and I'm betting I was the first person she seriously dated after the fact.

Things were going amazingly. We got closer and closer. We spent tons of quality time together. And then... she started getting a little distant. We still spent tons of time together and did a lot of stuff for each other though, so I assumed it was stress.

Come to find out... she'd been talking to her ex-fiance.

She only told me this when it was too late. We hadn't made anything "official," so it's not like she was "cheating." I'd expressed desires to make things official, and she'd balked a bit. I didn't push, because I thought she just needed time.

Here's the really, really confusing part.

She almost chose me instead. Apparently she'd been talking to her ex for like the last month, and it was probably a done deal. Except I thought that she was just stressed and ramped up my support and being loving. I actually ended up telling her I loved her.

The thing is... she felt massively torn. So torn that, if I'd pushed any harder to be a couple, she would've rejected the ex. Except that I was in a race I didn't know I was in.

After the fact, it's obvious that I was a rebound. Except that apparently I was so amazing that I guess I went from rebound to actual interest. So... task failed successfully?

Except I don't feel any better about it.

What hurts is that it was legitimately the best relationship I've ever had. She was just as serious as me about treating the other person right. We both listened and supported each other. I took care of her when she got covid. She brought me food when I got sick. She'd pick me up and put me on her lap, and I'd lay on her chest. I brushed her hair and massaged her shoulders. She took the time and effort to make me feel loved, despite never saying those words.

And then... it's gone. Through no fault of my own. Through no desire of hers to end it. She let someone else make the decision, and I didn't know I had a say until I didn't.

I still think about so many aspects of it fondly. But god... it's so bitter, too...

I just wanted to say "I love you," and for them to choose to love me too.

To choose me. To keep me.

To never let go.

[curryvillain]

The Love Goes Bad In Jeff Fullyauto's "So What?"

While today’s a day of love, some of us are not experiencing it. Some of us are dealing with terrible partners, unhappy unions, uncertainties, and loneliness. Dancehall Artist Jeff Fullyauto has his share of love, but he is currently dealing with a case of love gone cold. He speaks about it in “So What?“. Directed by JV Cinematic, Jeff Fullyauto deals with things going bad with a partner. Over…

[jaded-quill]

You know what doesn't help the creative process, unless you're writing about heartbreak? Being ghosted.

One day we're vibing hard with each other, and she's promising to discuss kinky stuff after Thanksgiving (Canada), then radio silence.

It was a fun few days of whirlwind texting, but that was Sunday, and today is Friday.

*sigh*

Writing started progressing again today, but it's hard to write about a happy couple when you're feeling rejected and unloved.

Dating sucks at all ages.

No idea what I might have done wrong. If only she'd given me the slightest hint...

[willtasker]

Nothing Bleeds Red Enough

(As is the habit of my better, younger writers, I feel putting a trigger warning at the top of this entry is needed, but as I’ve not written it yet, I can’t say what the TW is for. That said: General TW for mental health, suicid*l ideation, and things in that orbit.)

I found out around Thanksgiving that Amanda married someone.

This information limped its rotten way across my path because Tiktok has a really nefarious way of using contact information. They’ve since edited it to look less intrusive, but basically: if your information is in someone’s contact list, the Tiktok app will tell you. That is to say: I no longer had her information in my phone but she apparently still has mine, and her new last name appeared with the axiom “People who have your contact info” (the descriptive in quotes is now changed to “people you may know” - which is much more passive tense).

Some basic math is: the guy she cheated on me with and then left me for is her new husband.

We were on and off, staying in touch over the years because we couldn’t shake the supernatural connection. I would think about her at random, and then she’d email me the next day after having no contact for years. Or I’d email or call her. Back and forth. This would freak her out very badly, and while I do not believe in supernatural events but I have had experiences that would make other people believe in them.

For three years, its a perfect relationship. Everything - everything - worked. Until it didn’t. I had gotten an AirBNB for our anniversary and that night she rolled over and gave me her back. No explanation. The next morning, she dumped me in a coffee shop in Boston with no explanation. I begged her in a text for a reason why.

No explanation.

Some years later, standing outside my father’s house, having found my stepmother dead the night before from a heart attack, she replies.

She loved me but wasn’t in love with me. There was someone else and it was long distance and not stable but was probably for good. She had new and better friends and the support she wanted. She wished me well.

This burned into my mind’s eye much worse than the Death that just entered my life. This was the supernatural, spiritual connection I had mentioned, but used for evil. The timing was entirely too on the nose.

I do not believe in supernatural events but I have had experiences that would make other people believe in them.

It is now the end of 2022. I am not letting go so much as forcing myself to move on. The head tells me to, the heart never lets go. I missed some big benchmarks growing up, like how to forgive myself or how to move on from a break-up, lessons that protect you from life. And I was never told what to do or what to feel when I would open up an old app to find she’d deleted our entire chat/image history while I was asleep.

And now I find out she’d rather fuck someone else than be with me. That all her perfect annunciations over the years amounted to meaningless. That all those years of bonding and sweet words and shared pain and scars and dreams meant nothing.

I’d have had children with her, if she’d asked. And now its obviously better that we hadn’t.

She lived in my head as a paragon of what a partner should be for a very long time. To say I put her on a pedestal isn’t high enough. And for all this heartache, I miss the lie that I believed.

I miss it so much it makes me literally physically ill.

I’ve had a rolling panic attack since the start of December. I had no idea why and couldn’t shake it. I fully believe this news, this update, however ... big a nothing it is, is the reason I’m sleeping 4 hours a night, having premature ventricular heartbeats, unable to sit still. Finally, at 2 in the morning a few days ago, I burst out crying like Claire Danes and it wasn’t nearly long enough, but it was what I needed. And I need more. Release is addictive when all you know is anxiety.

I’ve also spent some of today looking for a new therapist. I haven’t been to CBT in a few years and I think I’m way overdue. I probably need some short term anxiety medication too.

I wouldn’t need any of this if I had her though. And I can still hear her voice in my head and remember how she touched and the smell and pull of her hair and every gentle sigh and look in her face when she found me looking back.

I do not believe in supernatural events but I have had experiences that would make other people believe in them. 

Our one mutual friend hates Amanda now. HATES. Like - no lie - “old Italian woman spitting on the floor if I mention her” hates. She doesn’t hate her ex-husband but she hates Amanda for what she did to me. Calls her a narcissist and a body empty of soul. I somewhat agree; you can’t pull someone this deep into your ocean and then be dispassionate when they drown.

But I fucking miss her.

I hate myself for it too. But I fucking miss her.

I don’t plan on contacting her. I don’t even know if the old email addresses or phone numbers or any of that is still valid and I don’t have any of her social media information. Its better that way because, Lord knows, we use to stalk each other.

But I fucking miss her, you know?

I’ve struggled with suicidal idealization since age 10. My last therapist said it was more that I wanted to be free of misery than to be actually dead. I needed to know I had that way out, or an escape hatch or place to run to if it ever got so bad. And I won’t lie: I am struggling with this again because of her. I’ll likely never act on it, but its also a hard thing to live under. Its a shadow that also paints everything else under it.

And while I have no doubt she’s happy - or at least happier - I also know (not believe, but KNOW) that she still hears that instinctual call we share and that she knows what she’s dragging me though and maybe - just maybe - its keeping her awake at night sometimes too.

I do not believe in supernatural events but I have had experiences that would make other people believe in them. 

She is probably the biggest one of them all.