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gordopickett · 1 month ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 49 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Commiserate

Chapter Summary: After their visit to the cemetery, a night of commiserating turns into something else for Gordo and Tracy.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Gordo sat beside Tracy on a stool at the bar of a restaurant a couple of blocks from their hotel in Arlington, Virginia. They had just eaten dinner and were having a couple of drinks.

After visiting Vance Paulson’s grave, the two of them had gone to Jon Gatos’s grave next. Tracy hadn’t really known him at all. They had met once or twice on the base, but Jon was in the control room, and Tracy was flying the LSAM. Their paths didn’t cross too often at Jamestown.

Gordo, however, had trained with Jon. They hadn’t spent much time together outside of work, besides getting a few post-work drinks and having some laughs. And they had usually done that with the rest of the mission crew along as well. But Jon was a good guy, and Gordo couldn’t help but think about how that could have been Tracy and him instead. They could have been the two buried in Arlington National Cemetery instead of, or along with, Vance and Jon.

“We were lucky,” Gordo said softly beside Tracy. He picked up his glass of whiskey and took a gulp.

“That’s one word for it, I guess,” Tracy said.

Gordo nodded. “I don’t really get it, though.”

“What?”

“Why we were spared,” he clarified. “Why we didn’t die up there.” He sniffed and looked at Tracy. “We were out on the surface of the moon without spacesuits.” He paused, searching Tracy’s face. “How did we survive that?”

She shook her head slowly. “No idea.”

“Jon was in the control room. He should’ve been safe there. And Vance had a spacesuit and a gun.”

“I know,” Tracy said quietly. “There’s just no rhyme or reason for the way things happen sometimes.”

Gordo took a deep breath. As he exhaled heavily, he let out a wry chuckle, shaking his head. He lifted his whiskey and took another drink.

“I used to go visit Deke’s memorial on the moon,” Tracy said.

Gordo looked at her. He realized, in the short time that he had been at Jamestown the last time, that he hadn’t seen the memorial. He wondered if he ever would.

“I’d go there when I was feeling overwhelmed or lonely or isolated,” Tracy continued. “It helped.”

Gordo watched her closely. “Good.”

“Yeah. I’d complain about whatever was bothering me, and then I’d imagine what he would say.”

Gordo offered a small smile. “What would he say?”

“He’d tell me to get over it,” Tracy said with a soft chuckle. “Or remind me that being up there on the moon – being an astronaut – was everything I had worked for. Everything I had wanted.”

Gordo nodded. “It’s not always as glamorous as it seems.”

“No. But thinking about what Deke would say usually helped stop my pity party and made me realize that I could keep going.”

Gordo smiled. “That’s good.”

“Yeah.” She took a drink of her whiskey before continuing. “You know he tried to get me to quit? Deke. When I was an astronaut candidate.”

“Really?” Gordo hadn’t heard about that. But he was reminded of when Tracy had considered quitting herself. Gordo had tried to convince her to see it through, and it had turned into a big blowout between them.

“By then, I had realized just how much I wanted it. I told him, basically, that I wasn’t going to quit, and that if he wanted me to leave, he’d have to cut me.”

Gordo chuckled quietly. “Good for you. You have never been one to let anyone tell you what to do.”

“No.” She laughed softly. “Definitely not.”

“And look at you now,” Gordo said, eyeing Tracy with pride. “Saving the moon. The Medal of Honor.” He paused before adding, “It’s a shame he’s not still here to see it all.”

“Yeah,” Tracy agreed. “A lot of good people have died in the name of the future of space travel.”

“I remember when everything was so carefree,” Gordo said. “Maybe that was just me back then. I don’t know. People had died before that.”

“No one we really knew, though,” Tracy pointed out. “Not that that makes it any less tragic. We just didn’t have to deal with the grief so much personally.”

“Yeah,” Gordo said. “That’s probably a big part of it.”

Tracy eyed him curiously.

Gordo continued, explaining, “I felt like I was on top of the world back then. Like I could have anything I wanted. Do anything I wanted. It was all just there for the taking. Space travel. Getting missions.” Gordo smiled, recalling his time on Apollo 10. “Seeing the moon that close for the first time.” He exhaled heavily, chuckling a little. “It was exhilarating. And then my first mission to Jamestown. We know how that turned out, but beforehand—God, I was so excited.”

“I remember,” Tracy said gently.

“I couldn’t believe that I was not only getting to land on the moon for my first time, but that I was going to be living up there temporarily. That I was going to get to be one of the first people to ever live on the moon.” He paused, recalling that feeling. He remembered how excited he had been at his launch and when he, Ed, and Dani had stepped foot on the surface of the moon together. He smiled. “That was one of the best feelings I’d ever had.”

“And then reality sunk in,” Tracy said.

“Mm,” Gordo hummed. “Yeah. A hundred and forty-five days on the moon. That was unexpected.” He paused. “It all just fell apart, week after week. Every time they told us it was going to be ‘another two weeks,’ I could feel it chipping away at my enthusiasm and my sanity.” He looked at Tracy, offering a wry smile. “Just knowing that you were back on earth, getting more and more impatient with me and us and that there was nothing I could do about it.” He paused, finishing his whiskey in one big gulp. He caught the bartender’s attention and tapped his glass for another. It would be his third. “I was such an optimist before that.”

“I think you’re still an optimist,” Tracy said. “Just now with a healthy dose of realism to go with it.”

“Yeah.” Gordo smiled a little. “Maybe.”

The bartender brought him another whiskey, and Gordo thanked him.

“You know, Ed blames himself for all of it,” Tracy said. “When we were both up the other night, unable to sleep, he told me that.”

“Yeah,” Gordo said. He had had that conversation with Ed on the side of the road a week and a half earlier. “I know he does. It wasn’t his fault, though.”

“No,” Tracy agreed. “That’s just something he’s going to have to get through himself.”

“Yeah.”

“Speaking of getting through things,” Tracy began.

“What?” Gordo asked.

“How are you doing?” Tracy asked. “With everything. With...the panic attacks. And therapy.”

“Mm. Okay, I think.” They had discussed his first therapy appointment with Dr. Ozarin on the three-hour flight from Houston to Arlington, so Tracy already knew the details of the session.

“Do you think she’ll help you?”

“I hope so,” Gordo said. “Probably.” He sniffed and took a sip from his whiskey glass. “I feel more open this time around.”

Tracy nodded. “Well, you’ve been through it before.”

“Yeah. I just—I didn’t open up enough with Dr. Marsten. And I didn’t feel like I dealt with everything very well.”

Tracy nodded, watching him. “You should open up to her. Dr. Ozarin. You need that, Gordo. And I’m here this time too, okay?”

Gordo looked at Tracy and smiled, glad to hear it. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

She took a drink, and he did the same.

Then, he asked, “Do you think you’ll ever go back?”

“To Jamestown?”

“Yeah. Or just to space in general.”

“I don’t know,” she said. “Not anytime soon.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you?”

“Same,” Gordo said. “We went through a lot up there. And back here.”

“We’re still going through it,” Tracy pointed out, waving a hand that Gordo assumed was to indicate their reason for visiting Arlington.

“Yeah,” he agreed. “And it was a lot to put our boys through.”

Tracy nodded. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “And now one of those boys wants to be an astronaut too.”

“Maybe we can steer him away from that,” Gordo said hopefully.

Tracy chuckled. “Right. Good luck with that.”

“I know.” Gordo laughed softly. “I don’t think anything is going to stop him from becoming an astronaut.”

“Can you blame him?” Tracy asked. “Both of his parents are astronauts. I’m just relieved that Jimmy doesn’t have that dream as well.”

“Me too, honestly,” Gordo said. “But I just wonder…”

“About what?”

“If any of this has turned Danny off from that dream. If his parents nearly dying has changed anything for him.”

“I don’t know,” Tracy uttered. “I mean, he has always known the risks. He’s always known how dangerous it is.”

“Yeah,” Gordo agreed. “But knowing it and seeing it nearly happen to someone you love are two different things.”

“True.” Tracy shrugged a shoulder. “I feel like Danny is going to charge through that. If it were Jimmy, he might have second thoughts. But Danny…”

Gordo nodded and took a drink before saying, “No man, woman, or beast is going to keep Danny from becoming an astronaut, if that’s what he wants to do.” He smiled at Tracy, adding, “He’s a lot like his mom in that way.”

Tracy smiled, locking eyes with Gordo. They held each other’s gaze for a long moment. Gordo felt something stirring in him. He glanced at Tracy’s lips.

“You ready to head back to the hotel?” Tracy asked.

Gordo’s stomach clenched. He didn’t know if it was an innocent question or a suggestive one. He nodded, hoping for the latter.

Gordo gulped the rest of his whiskey and paid for their meals and drinks. Then, they walked the two blocks back to their hotel together and went up to their room. Tracy had booked a single room for the two of them. There were two queen-sized beds, but Gordo didn’t know whether or not Tracy booking one room for them had meant something more than simply saving a few bucks.

Tracy unlocked the door and went inside. Gordo followed her into the hotel room and latched the door behind him. Tracy turned on a lamp and removed her shoes, placing them neatly beside the television stand.

“What did you mean?” Gordo asked, watching her. “At Jamestown.”

Tracy looked at him, brow furrowed. “What are you talking about?”

“My first night there,” he continued. “When we were smoking in the airlock.” He took a couple of slow steps towards Tracy who just watched him curiously. “‘Catch me if you can,’” Gordo reminded her. “That’s what you said.”

A slow smile formed on Tracy’s lips. “I did.”

“What did that mean?” he asked. “Was that just harmless flirting, or…?”

Tracy tilted her head slightly, eyes sparkling despite the dim light in the room. “What do you think it meant?”

“I think it was a challenge,” Gordo said. “I had just confessed my feelings to you. Confessed that I wanted you back. I had just told you that I wouldn’t be happy again until I was back with you.”

Tracy just watched him. She looked a little amused but also curious as to where he was going with it all. Wondering why he had brought it up.

“And then you told me to catch you if I can.” He slowly closed the gap between them. They were half an arm’s length away. “I think you wanted to see just how much I wanted you back.” Gordo stared down at Tracy as she stared up at him.

“Is that what you’re doing now?” she asked, offering a small smirk. “Trying to catch me?”

Gordo searched her eyes, remembering why he had fallen in love with her twenty-two years earlier. Quietly, he said, “Only if you’ll be caught.”

Tracy held his gaze for a long moment. “Are you drunk?” she asked softly after a few moments, catching him off guard.

He shook his head. “Only a little uninhibited.”

“So, your normal self,” Tracy said with a grin.

Gordo chuckled. “Are you drunk?”

“I had one whiskey.”

“Were you changing the subject by asking me?” Gordo said.

“No. Just curious if this is you talking or the alcohol.”

“It’s me, Trace,” Gordo assured her. “It’s always me.”

She nodded slightly, watching him. He could see the debate in her eyes.

“It can just be about tonight,” he whispered.

“Because everyone has sex after a funeral?” Tracy asked with a smirk.

Gordo smiled. “Something like that.”

“Or...whatever this was that we just did today.”

Gordo nodded. “Close enough.”

He had sort of felt like they had attended a funeral. They had missed Vance’s and Jon’s actual funerals, so their visit to Arlington had been their version. And afterwards, Gordo had felt a lot like he usually did after real funerals that he had attended in the past. Sad. A little numb. Wanting to feel something good.

Tracy still held his gaze, so Gordo slowly leaned in. He remembered how she had pulled away at Jamestown when he had done that.

She didn’t pull away now.

He kissed her softly on the lips, suddenly missing that feeling with her and aching for more. She returned the kiss, and Gordo reached up, gently placing his hand on the side of her neck. Tracy put her hands on his waist, gently at first and then more firmly as they deepened their kiss.

They moved to the bed closer to the window. Tracy slid her hands up to his biceps and pushed him back towards the bed. He backed up until his legs ran into the bed, and he sat down on the end of it. Tracy knelt on the bed, her knees on either side of his thighs. He put his hands on her waist as she leaned down to kiss him hard on the mouth. A soft moan escaped his lips.

Gordo felt Tracy’s hands at his waist, pulling his shirt up. He let her pull it off over his head, and then she tossed it to the floor.

She urged him to move back on the bed, and he did, lying on his back on the neatly-made bed, with his head on one of the pillows. Still fully clothed, Tracy straddled his hips. He felt the warmth of her hands on his bare torso as she gently caressed his sides, chest, and stomach.

He took a deep breath, hoping not to break whatever spell had been cast between them. Then, Tracy leaned down, kissing him on the mouth again as she unfastened his pants.

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 48 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Valkyries

Chapter Summary: Tracy and Gordo visit Arlington National Cemetery.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Tracy stood beside Gordo at Vance Paulson’s gravesite in Arlington National Cemetery. They had rented a car at Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport and driven seven minutes to the cemetery. The cemetery was awe-inspiring. She knew that both she and Gordo had a place there after their deaths – hopefully in the very distant future – as did their children. She had never seen anything quite like Arlington before, and knowing that all of the gravestones marked the burial sites of so many men and women fallen in battle was sobering.

“You okay?” Gordo asked softly beside her.

“Yeah,” Tracy whispered.

She looked down at Vance’s grave marker, reading over his name, dates of birth and death, and rank in the United States Marine Corps. The other etchings on his stone denoted that he had received both the Medal of Honor and the Defense Distinguished Service Medal, just like Gordo had. A chill went up Tracy’s spine.

“This could have been us,” she said, her voice catching in her throat.

Gordo said nothing, but Tracy could see out of the corner of her eye that he was nodding his acknowledgment. She wondered if he was feeling as choked up as she was.

“He was a good man,” Tracy continued.

“He had all good things to say about you,” Gordo added.

Tracy smiled. She recalled when she had introduced Vance to Gordo. Gordo had just arrived at Jamestown, and Tracy and Vance had just returned from the mining site.

“That was a wild ride,” Tracy said. “Flying the LSAM with Vance and the others outside on the skids.”

“Sounds like it.”

Tracy couldn’t believe they had gone from that exhilarating ride to Vance being shot down in Jamestown in such a short time.

“I tried to get him to turn around.”

“What?” Gordo asked. “When?”

“When the Russians were in the base. When you and I were in the galley.”

“Right,” Gordo said quietly.

“He was right outside the door, and I could see that Russian bastard down the hall. I tried to get Vance to turn around, but he couldn’t hear me.”

Gordo sighed quietly next to her, and then he put his arm around her shoulders. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

“He was gone,” Tracy said, snapping her fingers. “Just like that.”

Gordo squeezed her against his side. Neither said anything for a long time. Then, Tracy began to hum.

Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Gordo look at her.

She kept going, humming the tune they had all sung on the flight out to the mining site. Ride of the Valkyries. It was a slower version, which sounded sad to her ears, but she couldn’t bring herself to speed it up. It didn’t have the same gung-ho pacing as when they had all sung it on the LSAM, but that seemed fitting to Tracy.

After a few bars, Tracy stopped humming. Her eyes stung with tears. Her throat constricted as she spoke. “That could have been us,” she repeated her thought from moments earlier.

“I know,” Gordo whispered, giving her another squeeze.

“Instead of us visiting Vance and Jon, it could have been Danny and Jimmy visiting us.”

Gordo inhaled sharply, letting it out slowly, audibly. Tracy glanced at him for the first time since arriving at Vance’s grave. His eyes glistened with tears as he looked down at the grave marker. Then, he met her gaze.

“But it’s not,” he whispered

“No,” she agreed. “It’s not.” She returned her focus to Vance’s gravestone. Then, softly, she said, “Goodbye, Vance.” She chuckled quietly, adding, “Thanks for keeping me young.”

Gordo gave her another squeeze and kissed her temple. She turned in his arm, wrapping both of hers around his waist. He held her with both arms, kissing the top of her head.

Tracy closed her eyes, letting Gordo’s embrace comfort her. She missed his arms around her. And she knew that she could get used to it again. She almost had. They had been nearly inseparable since their return from Jamestown, and spending so much time with him made Tracy feel more comfortable than she had in years.

She took a few deep breaths, letting them relax her muscles. When she and Gordo parted, Tracy sniffled. Gordo reached up and gently brushed his thumb over her cheek, wiping away a tear that had escaped her eye.

She looked up at him. He searched her eyes, his own still glistening with tears. She felt a tug in her chest, a pull towards Gordo that she hadn’t felt in more than ten years. But it was familiar and comfortable, and suddenly it seemed like just yesterday that she had felt that same pull.

“You okay?” he whispered.

She nodded, swallowing around the lump in her throat. “Let’s go visit Jon.”

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 47 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Hoping for Closure

Chapter Summary: Tracy talks with Jimmy and Gordo talks with Ed about their impending trip to the east coast.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

It was nearly four in the afternoon when Tracy stepped into the doorway of her younger son’s bedroom. The door was open, and Jimmy was seated at his desk, playing Atari on his computer. Tracy watched the game for a few moments, wondering what the fascination with video games was. Jimmy seemed to love them – even Gordo could get into them sometimes – but Tracy didn’t understand the draw.

“Hey,” Tracy said after a few moments. “How you doing?”

“Good,” Jimmy said, not tearing his focus away from the computer screen. “About to set the reactor to explode.”

“What are you playing?” Tracy asked.

“Caverns of Mars.”

Tracy watched the computer. There was a blue image moving down a black screen, with misshapen red borders along each side. She assumed the blue image was a spaceship and the red borders were meant to represent the rock walls of a cavern.

“Ah,” Tracy uttered watching Jimmy’s progress in the game.

“You have to set the reactor to detonate,” Jimmy explained as he reached the bottom of the cavern. “And then haul ass up out of the cavern before it explodes.”

“Jimmy,” Tracy chastised for his language.

“Sorry.”

She smirked and shook her head. Jimmy finished setting the reactor to blow and then flew up out of the cavern.

Tracy didn’t know what the point of the game was or why the goal was to blow a reactor on Mars. But it made her think of the nuclear reactor on the moon. The point of that reactor was definitely not to explode. But it very nearly had.

It was difficult to wrap her mind around what had happened at Jamestown. It was even more difficult to believe that people had died up there. That Vance had died up there. She hadn’t known him before Jamestown, but they had developed a good working relationship – and friendship, really – while they were there. She hated that she hadn’t been able to attend his funeral, but she was glad that Gordo had suggested visiting Arlington.

Everything that had occurred after the Russians had breached Jamestown had happened so quickly. Tracy kept thinking about that night – about Gordo singing to her and dancing with her and pouring wine for her that had been smuggled in a mouthwash bottle. Gordo’s flirtation and their familiar banter had felt good and comfortable at the time. She had had no idea just how much things were going to change within a few short hours.

Suddenly, the Russians had infiltrated the base, the reactor was melting down, and Gordo and Tracy were risking their lives to fix it.

And then everything after that had happened so slowly. Tracy and Gordo were lying side-by-side in the med bay, unsure whether or not they were going to live and in too much pain to do anything other than hold each other’s hands. Tracy woke up a couple of days later, in pain but feeling much better. Dr. Kouri had told Tracy that she was going to be okay, but at that time, the doc hadn’t been able to say the same about Gordo.

Tracy’s first thought had been, Damn it, Gordo, for a few reasons. She didn’t want to have to tell their kids that their daddy had died. She didn’t think she could handle that. But she was also cursing him for making her feel something for him again. She would always love Gordo, but the feelings she had re-developed at Jamestown were more than that. Gordo had shown up to Jamestown happier than she had seen him in years, and he had not only confessed his feelings to her but had also taken responsibility for everything that had gone wrong between them in their marriage. She had felt something stirring within her at that, but she hadn’t had enough time at Jamestown to figure out what it meant.

After Gordo had started to get better, and after their return to earth, things had been sort of a blur. She and Gordo were so focused on healing and making sure the kids were okay. And then everything that had happened with Sam had sort of jumped front and center for Tracy. She and Gordo were physically okay. They were on the mend, feeling better, and they had both been cleared to fly again.

They had yet to return to work, and Tracy wasn’t sure how she felt about going back, let alone how Gordo felt about it. The losses of both Vance and Jon were starting to weigh on them. Tracy could feel a lot of that herself, but she knew that Gordo was struggling with everything even more than her.

She was concerned about him – concerned about the panic attack he had had – but she was glad that he was going back to therapy. She hoped it would help him process what had happened so that he could move forward.

“Did you need something?”

Tracy looked at Jimmy as she was pulled from her thoughts. “Oh. I just wanted to talk to you about something. But I’ll wait until you’re at a stopping point.”

“It’s fine. I’m done. I got out of the cavern in time.”

“Oh, okay,” Tracy said. “Good job.”

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

Well,” she began, walking over to his bed and sitting down on the edge of it.

Jimmy turned sideways in his chair to look at her. He rested his arm on top of the chair back. “Is everything okay?” he asked. “Is Dad okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Tracy said with a small smile that she hoped was reassuring. “Everything’s fine.”

“Okay,” Jimmy said, uncertainty in his voice.

“You know that a couple of people died at Jamestown,” Tracy began.

“Yeah.”

“Well, we knew them. Vance—He was one of the Marines sent up there to help with the Russian threat. Anyway, he and I knew each other.”

“Oh,” Jimmy uttered, furrowing his brow. “I didn’t know that. I’m sorry, Mom.”

“Thanks, baby.” Tracy smiled wryly. “And Jon was the other man who died.” She paused. “He trained for Jamestown 91 with your dad.”

“Oh,” Jimmy repeated.

“We just—We were still recovering at Jamestown when their bodies were sent back to earth. They had funeral services and everything, but your daddy and I…”

“You missed them,” Jimmy finished.

Tracy nodded. “Yeah. We did.”

“I’m sorry,” Jimmy said again.

“Thanks. Yeah. So, that’s kind of been bothering us a bit.”

Jimmy nodded but said nothing.

“We’re planning to go to Arlington soon. We think that might help.”

“Arlington Cemetery? In Virginia?”

Tracy nodded. “We can go this weekend if you’d like to come with us. Otherwise, we’re thinking about flying out tomorrow morning.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Tracy watched her son, waiting for him to think it over.

“Um,” he uttered finally. “I don’t know.”

“What are you thinking?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I don’t have to go.”

“Are you okay with me and your dad going?”

Jimmy hesitated. “How long would you be gone?”

“Probably just overnight. We’d come back the next day.”

“Okay.” He paused for a few moments before saying, “That’s fine.”

“You sure?”

He nodded.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay here?,” Tracy asked.

“Yeah,” Jimmy said. “I mean, Ed and Kelly will be here too, so I won’t be alone.”

“I know. I just want to make sure you’re okay with us going.”

“I think so,” Jimmy said.

“Well, if you’re not,” Tracy began, “you let me know, all right? Your daddy and I can go to Arlington another time.”

“No, it’s fine,” Jimmy said quickly. “You want to go.”

“We think it might help bring a little bit of closure,” Tracy said. “We’re hoping so, anyway.”

Jimmy nodded. “Then, you should go.”

“All right,” Tracy said, smiling gently at her son. “Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? We might visit Danny while we’re out there.”

“No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine here.”

“All right,” Tracy said. “But if you change your mind…”

“I know where to find you.”

Tracy smiled. “Okay.”

***

“So, you and Tracy are headed out in the morning?” Ed asked.

Gordo and Ed were seated around the fire pit in the back yard. Flames lapped eight inches above the firewood.

“Yeah. She’s wanting to visit Arlington.” Gordo paused before adding, “We both are.”

Ed nodded slowly.

Gordo could feel his friend’s eyes on him. “We didn’t get to go to the funerals.”

“I know,” Ed said gently.

“Did you go?” Gordo asked.

“Mm-hmm.”

“Did it help?”

Ed was quiet for a few long moments while Gordo stared into the dancing flames.

“I don’t know,” Ed said finally. “I put them up there.” He paused before adding, “I put all of you up there, and two of you died.”

“Wasn’t Vance sent up with the Marines?”

“Yeah,” Ed said, his voice low and rumbling. “But I pushed for guns on the moon. I thought it was the only way to take back the mining site and hold it against the Russians.”

Gordo looked at him. Ed looked miserable as he stared into the fire.

“You couldn’t have known,” Gordo told him.

“I should have,” Ed said. “Guns on the moon.” He scoffed. “What were we thinking?”

“The Russians had guns too.”

“Yeah, but we used them first. The Russians didn’t even have them at the mining site.”

Gordo sighed quietly. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“It damn well feels like it.”

“Only to you,” Gordo reminded him. “No one else blames you for what happened.”

“If you or Tracy had died too—”

“But we didn’t,” Gordo interrupted. “We’re fine. And we knew the risks, Ed. You have to stop doing this.”

Ed exhaled sharply, still staring into the fire. Finally, he said, “I hope your visit gives you two some kind of closure.”

Gordo nodded, returning his attention to the crackling fire in front of him. “Thanks.” He hoped so too. “Jimmy’s staying here,” Gordo told him. “Tracy talked to him, and he doesn’t want to go with us.”

“Okay.”

“Will you keep an eye on him while we’re gone?”

“Of course.”

“Thanks.”

Ed nodded.

“And thanks for looking after the boys while we were at Jamestown.”

Ed looked at him then. “You don’t have to thank me for that.”

“Yeah, well, I appreciate it all the same.”

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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More filming & behind the scenes pics of Mikey from Territory.

With every new piece of content that surfaces, I get more & more excited to watch this series!!! 🥰🧸🤠

@ilovemendo @tavners @lacontroller1991

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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What Robert Taylor (who plays Michael's character's dad in Territory) had to say about working with & hanging out with Michael while filming the series.

*******

“Michael Dorman is just a great human being,” Taylor said. “He’s just a big-hearted guy. And I think he’s a great artist, in the true sense of the word. It’s just great to be in his orbit. There’s just something magical about that guy, off set as much as on, just the way he is with people. He’s just a people person. He’s just fun to be with, to have a drink with. He’s fun to just tour around Adelaide or Darwin, or wherever the hell we are, or Los Angeles, and just see what happens.”

During the location filming for Territory, “We had a lot of fun, a little bit of mischief. Nothing illegal, mind you. But we were out there in the middle of nowhere, man, and it's hot, hot, hot thirsty weather. And they foolishly put us in these little apartments on the ranch, right next to each other. Rookie mistake. We called it The Swamp.

“And they kept saying, ‘Well, you can’t do this and you can’t do that. You better not do this, and you’re not permitted to do that.’ And we figured, ‘Well, maybe we should give that a try.’ Mostly Michael, to be fair. Mostly him. Yeah, like when they said, ‘Don’t go over there, that’s dangerous,’ we said, ‘We’ll just take a look over there.’ Like, it’s just a couple hundred man-eating crocodiles over there. So what?”

*******

Since Mikey had a couple brushes with the law in his youth, I knew he still had to have a mischievous side to him. 😆🤠🧸 But lol @ Robert throwing him under the bus about doing the things they weren't supposed to. 😂😁😍

From this article:

@ilovemendo @tavners @lacontroller1991

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 46 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Head Shrinker

Chapter Summary: Gordo goes to his first therapy session since Jamestown 91.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

“Gordo,” Dr. Ozarin said. “Come on in.”

Dr. Ozarin was a petite, blonde woman in her late fifties. She wore a green floral top and a pair of black pants. She looked at Gordo with a gentle smile and kind eyes as she stood just inside the doorway to her office.

Gordo stepped inside. The room was cozy, with warm lighting and an area rug on the floor. There was a desk against one wall and two plush, brown, faux leather arm chairs facing each other in the middle of the room, with an oval, glass-top coffee table between them. It reminded Gordo of Dr. Marsten’s office.

“Have a seat,” the doctor said pleasantly. “How is your day going?”

Gordo walked over to one of the chairs and sat down. Dr. Ozarin sat across from him.

“Okay,” Gordo said. “It’s—It’s good.” He paused. “How are you?”

Dr. Ozarin smiled. “I’m good. Thank you for asking.” She studied him closely.

Gordo took a deep breath and let his eyes wander, taking in the rest of the room. There were two bookcases behind the mahogany desk. One was filled with books on psychology and the other with classic literature.

“That’s a lot of books,” Gordo muttered absently, for lack of anything else to say. His stomach was in knots, just as it had been the first time he had gone to see Dr. Marsten.

“Do you enjoy reading?”

Gordo nodded. “Mostly classic lit, which it looks like you have a lot of.”

“What are you reading now?”

“A Journey to the Center of the Earth,” Gordo said. “I was. I mean, at Jamestown, I started it. Haven’t, uh—Haven’t finished it yet, though.” Gordo cleared his throat and looked towards one of the two windows in the room. He could just see slivers of green through the blind slats.

“What are some of your favorites?” Dr. Ozarin asked.

“Hm?” Gordo uttered, pulling his attention away from the blinds.

“What are some of your favorite classics?”

“Oh. Um. Plutarch,” Gordo said. “Any of his tales, really.”

“What do you like about them?”

“The adventures. The heroics. I read Plutarch when I was a kid and sort of fell in love with the idea of brave men being remembered heroically long after their passing.”

Dr. Ozarin watched him for a few moments. “Were you adventurous as a kid?”

“Yeah. I was. Never really grew out of that, I guess.” He smiled gently. “I just got a little less reckless maybe.”

“You mentioned Jamestown,” Dr. Ozarin said.

“Right,” Gordo uttered. He didn’t know how much she knew about space travel, or him, for that matter. He didn’t know if Dr. Ozarin knew who he was or not.

“How did you feel going back to the moon after, what was it, nine years?”

Gordo smiled gently, lowering his gaze. Well, that answers that, he thought. “You know who I am.”

“I do,” she said. “But only what’s been in the news. I’d like to hear more about you, from you.”

Gordo inhaled deeply, looking at the obscured window again. “Do you mind if I open the blinds?”

“Of course not.”

Gordo got to his feet and walked to the window closest to him. He twisted the wand to open the blinds and then did the same with the second window. He stood at the window, looking out at the trees. The leaves swayed in the gentle breeze.

“Gordo,” Dr. Ozarin said.

“Hm?”

“Let’s talk about your mission to Jamestown.”

Gordo took another deep breath, letting it out slowly.

“How did you feel returning to the moon?”

“Nervous at first,” Gordo said. It was a massive understatement, but he wasn’t ready to get into his fear and panic attacks just yet.

“At first?” Dr. Ozarin prodded. “Did that change?”

Gordo nodded. “Yeah. Not for a while. But I felt calmer on launch day, and then I was fine once I returned to Jamestown.”

“What was it like this time around?”

“Bigger,” Gordo said simply.

Dr. Ozarin said nothing. Gordo assumed she was waiting for him to continue. He thought about Jamestown. He thought about his arrival, about his confession to Tracy, about the Russians breaching the base, about fixing the coolant system, about—

“Gordo,” Dr. Ozarin said, interrupting his thoughts.

“Yeah?” he asked absently, watching the twitching tail of a squirrel in a tree.

“Come have a seat.”

Gordo tore his gaze away from the squirrel to look over his shoulder. Dr. Ozarin watched him closely. She wasn’t smiling, but her expression was soft and pleasant. He walked back to the plush arm chair and sat down.

“You seem uncomfortable,” Dr. Ozarin said.

“Mm,” Gordo hummed. He rubbed his thumb and forefinger together absently as he stared down at the coffee table between them. There were more classic literature books stacked neatly, as well as a set of three white, unlit candles in three different sizes, nestled in a square-shaped bowl full of river rocks.

“It’s just you and me here,” she said. “And everything you say in our sessions stays between the two of us.”

“Yeah.” Gordo sniffed and nodded. “I know. I’ve—I’ve been here before.”

“Do you mean therapy?” she asked. “You’ve been to therapy before?”

Gordo nodded again.

“Then, you know that, for this to work, you—”

“Need to be completely honest with you,” he finished. “Yeah.”

“Do you find that difficult?”

“Honesty?” Gordo asked.

Dr. Ozarin smiled gently. “I meant opening up to a therapist. But we can start with yours.”

Gordo inhaled deeply, holding it for a moment before exhaling audibly. “I don’t know. Sometimes. I used to, anyway.”

“You used to find it difficult to be honest?”

“Sometimes,” Gordo repeated. “With, uh—With my wife.” He cleared his throat. “Ex-wife,” he corrected.

“Why do you think that is?”

“Because I wasn’t a good husband. I did some things…” He trailed off and shrugged. “I cheated on her,” he admitted. “More than once.” He looked out the window. “I guess I just—I put us in a bad place,” he continued. “In our marriage. She didn’t trust me, and she was angry with me a lot.” He paused before adding, “Understandably. But I felt like I couldn’t really talk to her after that. After Jamestown…”

“‘After Jamestown,’” Dr. Ozarin prodded. “You mean, this time? Or your first mission?”

“My first mission,” Gordo clarified. “Back in seventy-four. That’s when I started seeing a psychiatrist the first time. Right after I got back home from that mission.”

“And you didn’t feel like you could talk to your wife at the time?”

“Right. We were in a bad place. Tracy—She didn’t even believe me when I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. She thought I had come home late because I was cheating on her. And then, I don’t know… Things happened, and we never really talked about my therapy at all.”

“What things happened?”

“I, uh—My best friend. Ed.” Gordo paused. “His son died. I don’t know. Things just changed. Tracy and I—We tried to make things work. Everything going on with Ed and his family was just so heartbreaking, you know? We felt like what we were going through sort of paled in comparison. But after a while, it felt more like we were faking it than anything. We wanted to come together. We wanted to make it work. Or I thought we did. But it felt like we were forcing ourselves to stay together without really trying to fix anything. Like we were trying to convince ourselves that everything that had come between us – my cheating, my lying, my not being there for her – wasn’t as bad as it really was.”

“How long after your return from the moon did you get divorced?”

“About four years.”

“How is your relationship with Tracy now?”

“Better,” Gordo said. “Good, actually. She’s, uh, she’s living with me right now.”

“Really? How is that going?”

“It’s been pretty good,” Gordo said with a gentle smile. “We’re in a much better place now. While we were at Jamestown together, we talked about things. About everything, really. What happened between us back then was my fault. I guess I’ve always known that, but we finally had a real discussion about it all, without it dissolving into an argument.”

Dr. Ozarin nodded, and then she asked, “How is life back earthside?”

“Uh,” Gordo uttered. “It’s good.”

Dr. Ozarin studied him closely. After several long moments, she said, “Your relationship with Tracy is ‘good.’ Living with her is ‘good.’ Being back on earth is ‘good.’”

Gordo cleared his throat, shifting in his seat a little. “Yeah.”

“Do you mind telling me what’s not good?”

“What do you mean?”

“People don’t come to me because everything in their lives is good.” She paused, watching him.

He lowered his gaze to the candle-and-rock centerpiece on her coffee table.

“What brought you here today, Gordo?”

Gordo refocused his attention to the trees outside the window again. The leaves were still gently blowing in the breeze, but the squirrel had vanished. “Just, uh… Thought it might be good to talk.”

“Mm-hmm,” Dr. Ozarin uttered. “What would you like to talk about?”

“I don’t know,” Gordo said automatically.

“You know that I’m here for you, right? That I want to help you?”

Still looking out the window, Gordo nodded.

“And none of what you tell me will ever get back to NASA, or anyone else.”

“I know,” Gordo said quietly. He stared out the window as he gathered his thoughts. He wasn’t sure where to begin – nearly dying on the moon, nearly leaving his kids without parents, his panic attacks, his weakened physical state…

“Are you back to work yet?” Dr. Ozarin prompted with a question he hadn’t considered.

“No, not yet,” Gordo answered. “Tracy and I both go back next Monday.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Okay,” Gordo said. “A little nervous.”

“Why are you nervous?”

“I’ve been away from it for a bit. And now – since returning from Jamestown after what happened – I don’t know.”

“Think about it,” Dr. Ozarin encouraged. “Why are you nervous?”

Gordo did as she said. He thought about it. He thought about being on CAPCOM for another mission. He thought about interacting with astronauts at Jamestown. He thought about what happened at Jamestown…

“It’s been good getting away from it for a while,” he said. “After what happened.”

“And going back makes you nervous because…?”

Gordo took a deep breath, realizing that she wasn’t going to let him skirt the question. He looked away from the window and back at the doctor. “Because it makes me think about what happened at Jamestown.”

Dr. Ozarin nodded. “Let’s talk about what happened at Jamestown.”

Gordo sighed heavily. “It just—You know what happened. Everyone knows what happened.”

“I’d like to hear it from you.”

“We had to fix the coolant system,” Gordo said plainly. “Or everyone was going to die.”

“You risked your life to fix it,” Dr. Ozarin pointed out. “Right?”

“Yeah, I guess. I mean—I don’t know. Not really. If we hadn’t fixed it, we would’ve died too.” Gordo shrugged. He didn’t want to discuss it in detail. He didn’t want to discuss it at all. “We did what we had to do to survive.”

“That’s a simple way of putting it,” the doctor said.

“It’s what happened.”

“You’re uncomfortable talking about this.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” she said. “That’s okay. How are you doing physically since your return?”

“Fine.” He could feel his walls going up.

“Gordo.”

He sighed. “I’m okay now.” He forced himself to keep going. “I got my stitches out. Got a clean bill of health. Started jogging again.”

“How did that go?”

Gordo hesitated before saying, “Not great.”

Dr. Ozarin nodded. Gordo thought he saw a hint of a smile. He assumed that she was pleased he hadn’t said it was “good” again.

“Tell me about it,” she said.

“I just—I don’t know. I’ve lost a lot of weight and muscle and stamina these past few weeks.”

“That’s to be expected,” Dr. Ozarin said. “After what you went through.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“How are you mentally handling what happened up there?”

Gordo hesitated. He wanted to say that he was fine. But he wasn’t. That was the whole reason he was sitting there in Dr. Ozarin’s office in the first place.

“I don’t know,” he answered softly.

“I think you do,” Dr. Ozarin urged gently.

“I, uh—had a moment,” Gordo began, thinking about his panic attack in the T-38 while dogfighting with Ed.

“What kind of moment?”

“It was…” Gordo trailed off, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. He wanted to stand up. He felt like pacing the room. But he remained in the chair.

Dr. Ozarin waited patiently for him to continue.

Finally, he said, “It was a panic attack.”

The doctor nodded slowly. “How often do you have panic attacks?”

“Not often,” he said. “I’ve only had one since returning from Jamestown this time.”

“‘This time,’” Dr. Ozarin repeated. “How many had you had before that?”

“A few. I had one at Jamestown the last time. Sort of lost it up there. And I was mostly okay after that until…”

“Until when?”

“Until I got my Jamestown 91 assignment. This last mission. I hadn’t been to space in almost ten years. I had never planned to go back, and then Ed—He gave me the assignment. I just—I didn’t think I could do it. I don’t know. I was just scared.”

“You had another panic attack when you got your assignment?”

Gordo nodded. “And then one day at The Outpost. The—the bar. I thought I saw—I just, I freaked out.”

“But then you were okay for your mission?”

“Yeah. I got through it. And my launch was good. And then back up there at Jamestown, I just felt sort of like a new person. Or maybe like my old self. I don’t know. I just—I felt okay. I felt good, honestly.”

“Then, once you returned to earth, you had another panic attack?”

Gordo nodded again.

“What were you doing when you had the panic attack?” she asked.

Gordo hesitated. He had been flying a T-38 at the time, but he wasn’t sure he wanted Dr. Ozarin to know that. If it got back to NASA that he had had a panic attack while flying one of their jets, he’d never be allowed to fly again.

“Gordo?” Dr. Ozarin prompted.

Gordo cleared his throat. “Just, uh...hanging out with Ed.” It wasn’t the entire truth, but it wasn’t a lie either.

Dr. Ozarin watched him for a long moment. He wondered if she knew that he wasn’t telling her the whole truth.

Gordo averted his gaze, looking out the window again.

“Did something happen to bring on the panic attack?” Dr. Ozarin asked.

Gordo hesitated again. Putting on his oxygen mask had been the start of it. The start of the nerves he had felt. Then, Ed’s remark about having fifteen minutes of fuel left had sparked the actual panic attack. But he didn’t know how much to tell the doctor. He didn’t want to be grounded. He wasn’t sure he would ever return to space – he hadn’t thought that far ahead, to be honest – but he wanted to be able to fly. He had to be able to fly.

“I just, uh—I was thinking about what happened on the moon,” he said with as much honesty as he felt comfortable with.

Dr. Ozarin nodded slowly. “What were you thinking about exactly?”

“Trace and me. With our oxygen masks on. Running across the surface of the moon.” He paused, letting out a quiet sigh. “There was a ceremony.”

“A ceremony?”

“After we got back. For Tracy and me.”

“Oh, right. Yes.” Dr. Ozarin smiled softly. “I heard about that. The Medal of Honor, right?”

“Yeah,” Gordo uttered. He was quiet for a few moments and then shook his head. “I thought that would be the end of it.”

“The end of what?”

“I thought that ceremony would feel sort of like closure, you know? Like the end of what happened up there.”

“Did it not?”

Gordo shook his head. “My panic attack came after that.”

“You haven’t dealt with what happened,” Dr. Ozarin said. It wasn’t a question.

“I guess not.”

“You nearly died up there, Gordo,” she pointed out. “That is a lot to process. And rarely are those feelings ever like our books that we can just close and be done with.”

“Yeah,” Gordo whispered. He inhaled deeply, staring past Dr. Ozarin at nothing in particular. “Tracy and I were talking this morning. About what happened, sort of. About Vance and Jon.”

“The other astronauts who were up there?”

“Yeah,” Gordo said. “The two who died.”

“Did you know them well?”

“I didn’t know Vance very well. Trace did, though. But Jon—I trained with Jon.”

“How are you handling that?”

Gordo shrugged. “I don’t know. Honestly, this is probably a bit selfish, but I had mostly been thinking about myself lately. My recovery and Tracy’s. And spending time with our boys and making sure they’re all right. It wasn’t until recently that I started to wrap my head around the fact that Vance and Jon actually died up there.”

“We all grieve in our own ways, in our own time. What you went through was traumatic, both physically and mentally. There is a lot to process about what happened up there.”

“Yeah,” Gordo said quietly. After a few moments, he continued. “Me and Tracy are planning to go to Arlington. We thought it might help. You know, they were buried before we ever left Jamestown. We didn’t get to attend the funerals.”

“Being able to say goodbye in your own way is important,” Dr. Ozarin said. “Just remember that it’s not like closing a book. It’s okay – normal, even – to have ups and downs and to continue to have feelings about what happened.” She paused before adding, “That goes for your grief about Jon and Vance but also for you, personally. It may take a while to fully process what happened to you at Jamestown.”

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 45 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Morning Jog

Chapter Summary: A morning jog proves more difficult for Gordo than he had hoped. After returning home, he and Tracy discuss their grief and plan for a trip.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Gordo awoke early Tuesday morning, before anyone else. The dawn sunlight was dim behind the curtains as he threw back the blankets and got out of bed. As he went to the kitchen, he noticed two empty mugs in the sink. He had washed the dishes before bed, so he knew someone – two someones – had to have gotten up in the night. He went to the coffee maker, seeing a little bit of coffee in the bottom of the pot. He dumped it out and brewed a fresh pot.

As he sat at the kitchen table, waiting for the coffee to finish percolating, he thought about going for a run. He had taken up jogging again while getting back in shape before his Jamestown 91 launch. But the ordeal on the moon had taken a toll on his body. He was thin and out of shape, and he wanted to change that. He wanted to build up his strength and endurance again. He knew it would take some time, but he was ready to start.

When the coffee finished brewing, he poured himself a mug. He drank it in the kitchen and then returned to the bedroom. He gathered his clothes from his dresser and changed in the bathroom so as not to wake Tracy who was still sound asleep in his bed.

As he headed back through the house, he heard rustling from the living room. He walked in to see Ed sitting up on the couch.

“Morning,” Gordo said.

“Morning,” Ed said in a grunt.

“How’d you sleep?” Gordo asked.

“Fine,” Ed said, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “Good.”

Gordo eyed him skeptically. “Really?”

Ed shrugged.

“Is it the couch?” Gordo asked, suddenly feeling a little guilty for making his friend sleep on it.

“No,” Ed said quickly. “No, the couch is fine. I just couldn’t turn off my brain last night.”

“Ah,” Gordo said, recalling the coffee mugs in the sink. “The late night coffee probably didn’t help.”

“Tracy said it was decaf.”

“Right,” he uttered, remembering her saying that she had brought decaf coffee with her from Sam’s. “So, you and Tracy were up last night?”

Ed nodded. “She said she couldn’t sleep either.”

“Oh. I didn’t even hear her get up.”

Ed smirked. “Well, you sleep like the dead.”

Gordo smiled. “True.”

“Why are you up so early?”

“Thought I’d get an early start. Maybe go for a jog.”

Ed looked him over in his gray t-shirt and navy blue sweatpants. “Have you—Did the flight surgeon clear you for that?”

“Yeah. He cleared me for exercise when he cleared me to fly.”

Ed nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m just waiting around to get Jimmy up for school in about twenty minutes.”

“Oh,” Ed uttered. “I can do that.”

“You sure? You don’t have to.”

“It’s fine. I have to get Kelly up anyway. I can wake Jimmy too.”

“Okay,” Gordo said. “But don’t be surprised if he tries to go back to sleep.”

“Don’t worry,” Ed said with a smirk. “I’ll make sure he gets up. Go enjoy your jog.”

“All right,” Gordo said. “Thanks.”

Gordo left the house a few minutes later. To wake his muscles and get his blood flowing, he started with a casual walk down his street, past his neighbors’ quiet houses. The sun was still below the tree line in the distance, and the sky was a vivid orange in the east.

Gordo picked up the pace, walking briskly for a couple of minutes. Then, he broke into a light jog. He hadn’t been jogging for a full minute before he began to feel it in his legs, but he didn’t stop. He continued his light jog for a few more minutes until his legs ached and his lungs burned.

He had been in good shape before his Jamestown 91 launch, but he knew that he had lost a lot of his muscle mass and endurance since then. He hadn’t realized just how much, though, until that morning.

He had barely jogged six blocks before he was huffing and puffing. He slowed to a walk again, sucking for air. When he caught his breath, he tried again, jogging a little farther. He did that a few times, until he had gone half a mile. But it had taken him seven minutes to go that far.

He had been able to run a full mile in seven minutes before his launch. Now, he could barely run half a mile in that same amount of time. He shook his head at the street before him. Feeling winded and frustrated, he turned and headed towards home, walking the whole way back.

When he arrived home, a half hour had passed from when he had left for his jog. He walked through the front door, hearing voices and smelling the aroma of bacon and eggs. He entered the living room and saw Ed, Kelly, and Tracy, but no Jimmy.

“Hey,” Gordo said.

“Where have you been, mister?” Tracy asked playfully.

“I went for a jog.”

“Oh. How was it?”

Gordo shrugged. “Where’s Jimmy?” he asked, changing the subject. He didn’t want to talk about his failed jog in front of everyone. “He didn’t go back to sleep, did he?”

“No,” Ed said. “He got right up. He’s in the bathroom.”

“He got right up?” Gordo asked, surprised. “Wow.” He smiled. “Maybe I should have you wake him up for school every day.”

Ed chuckled. “Not a problem.”

“I think he’s a little scared of you,” Kelly said.

Ed smirked. “Also not a problem.”

“Dad,” Kelly chastised.

Ed grinned.

“Whatever gets him out of bed without a struggle,” Gordo said with a chuckle.

Jimmy joined them a few minutes later. “Next,” he said.

“Oh, that’s me,” Kelly exclaimed and hurried off to the bathroom.

“You’re not scared of me, right, Jimmy?” Ed asked.

Jimmy looked at Ed. His lips parted as though to speak, but he didn’t. He looked at Gordo, eyes a little wider than normal. “Uh.” He returned his focus to Ed. “Not anymore,” he said. “Not really.”

“Wait,” Ed began. “So you were scared of me?”

“Maybe a little,” Jimmy admitted. “Sir.”

Ed smirked. “Really? How long have you known me?”

Jimmy gestured towards Gordo and Tracy. “They’re always saying things like, ‘You don’t want to get on Ed’s bad side.’”

“Well, that is true,” Tracy said with a smirk.

“We don’t say that to you, though,” Gordo said to Jimmy.

“Don’t worry, Jimmy,” Ed said. “You’ve never been on my bad side.”

Jimmy half-smiled.

“So, wait,” Gordo said. “You used to be scared of him, but you’re not anymore?”

“Right.”

“What changed?”

Jimmy looked at Ed and then back at Gordo. “He helped us out a lot while you two were…”

“While we were on the moon?” Tracy said.

“Well,” Jimmy began but hesitated. “Yeah. But…mostly after…”

“After we nearly died,” Tracy said gently. It wasn’t a question that time.

Jimmy nodded.

Gordo looked at Ed who offered a small, wry smile. Ed had said nothing about that. Neither had Jimmy or Danny. Gordo hadn’t given it much thought, to be honest, but he knew he should have assumed that Ed had helped them out during that time. Just like Gordo and Tracy would help Kelly if something were to ever happen to her parents.

“Yeah, well, Ed’s really just a big softy at heart,” Tracy joked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Ed muttered but smiled.

Gordo felt the corners of his mouth twitch, but he was still thinking about what he had just learned.

“All right,” Tracy said. “Well, go finish getting ready. The bus will be here soon.”

Jimmy nodded once and disappeared into the hallway. He, Ed, and Kelly finished getting ready and then grabbed a quick bite to eat. Then, Ed left for work while Jimmy and Kelly walked to the bus stop together.

When Gordo and Tracy were alone, she asked, “Want some breakfast? There’s a lot of bacon and eggs left.”

He nodded. “It smells great. I’m going to take a shower first, though.”

“Okay. I’ll keep it warm for you.”

Gordo thanked her and then grabbed some clean clothes and went to the bathroom. After his shower, he joined Tracy in the kitchen. She was seated at the table nibbling on a strip of bacon, with a glass of orange juice in front of her.

Gordo grabbed a plate and went to the stove, adding some eggs and a couple strips of bacon. He joined Tracy at the table where she had a carafe of orange juice and an empty glass off to one side. She filled the glass and slid it next to his plate.

“Thanks,” he said.

“You’re welcome. So, how was your jog?”

He had started to say that it was fine, but he stopped himself.

His hesitation must have been telling because Tracy asked, “What happened? Did you...have another panic attack?”

“No,” Gordo said. “Nothing like that.”

“Then, what?”

“It’s just—I don’t know. I guess I knew it had affected me. I just didn’t realize how much.”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked. “Are you talking about what happened on the moon?”

Gordo nodded. “I could barely jog a couple of blocks today before everything started burning.” He told her how he had gotten winded and how it had taken him as long to go half a mile as it used to take him to jog a full mile.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Gordo. It’s going to take some time to get back to where we were before.”

He looked at her, reminded that he wasn’t in it alone. Tracy was going through the exact same thing. “What about you?” he asked.

“Me? Oh, I haven’t even tried to exercise yet. So, you’re already ahead of me.” She chuckled softly.

Gordo smiled gently and then let it fade. “I don’t mean just exercise.”

“Yeah,” Tracy whispered. “I know.”

“You and Ed were up late last night,” Gordo pointed out.

“Couldn’t sleep,” she said.

“Why not?”

Tracy shrugged a shoulder, staring out the window. Gordo didn’t think she was going to answer, but then finally she said, “We talked a little bit last night about what happened.”

Gordo watched her silently, letting her speak.

“It’s all been a bit overwhelming since what happened up there. I guess I’ve just been a little preoccupied with that.”

Gordo nodded. He understood. He had been preoccupied too. “I had no idea that Ed helped the boys so much while we were away.” He paused. “While we were…”

“Incapacitated?”

“Sure. That’s a less morbid term.”

“Yeah, I kind of assumed he had. The boys hadn’t said much about it, though.”

“No,” Gordo said. “Everything else happened with Ed and Danny afterwards, and I didn’t really think about what might have happened before that.” He paused again. “But of course he was here to help them.”

“Yeah,” Tracy agreed. “I would expect nothing less, honestly.”

Gordo nodded, letting out a short hum in agreement as he stared absently out the kitchen window.

“When Ed and I were talking last night, he brought up Vance and Jon, and it all just sort of hit me.”

Gordo frowned, looking at her. “What did?”

Tracy tore her attention away from the window as well and looked at him. “That they’re gone,” she said quietly. “It doesn’t feel real, to be honest.”

“I know,” Gordo said gently.

He had met Vance Paulson at Jamestown, but he didn’t know him. Jon Gatos, on the other hand, Gordo had trained with for Jamestown 91. They hadn’t developed a deep friendship or anything, but they had worked together for months. They had even gone to The Outpost for the occasional post-training drink with the rest of the mission crew.

“We missed their funerals,” Tracy said, pulling Gordo from his thoughts.

“Yeah,” Gordo whispered. He had heard that their bodies had been sent back to earth while he was still in the med bay at Jamestown. They had been honored posthumously at a ceremony before both men had been interred at Arlington National Cemetery.

“It just feels like it never happened, in a way,” Tracy added. “Except…”

“Except what?” Gordo prodded.

“Except...I saw it happen.” She looked at him, eyes glistening with tears. “I saw him get shot. I watched Vance die.”

Gordo sighed softly. “I’m so sorry, Trace.”

Tracy nodded gently. “I am too.”

“We could, I don’t know, go visit maybe?” Gordo offered. “Their graves.”

“Yeah,” Tracy said quietly, lowering her gaze to stare absently past Gordo’s right arm.

“Or we could...do something else.”

“I think we should,” Tracy said. “Visit their graves.”

“Okay,” Gordo agreed. “When would you like to go?”

“The sooner the better, probably.”

Gordo nodded his agreement.

“I’ll see if we can get a flight for tomorrow, if that’s all right. Or this weekend, if Jimmy wants to come with us.”

“Sure.”

Tracy took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “If nothing else, it might at least help to make it feel real.”

“It’s a process.”

Tracy nodded, watching him. “Speaking of,” she began after a few moments. “Your appointment is today, right?”

Gordo hesitated, thrown momentarily by the change in subject. Then, recalling his therapy appointment, he said, “Yeah. This afternoon.”

“How do you feel about it?”

“You sound like a shrink.”

Tracy smirked. “Just trying to prepare you for the session.”

Gordo offered a small, wry smile. “I don’t know. I’m okay. A little nervous, I guess.”

“It’s going to be good for you,” Tracy assured him.

Gordo nodded. He hoped she was right.

Tracy gestured towards his plate. “Now, eat something before it gets cold.”

Looking down at his plate with the eggs and bacon he hadn’t yet touched, Gordo picked up his fork.

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 44 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Guilt

Chapter Summary: Unable to sleep, Ed has a late night conversation with Tracy.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Ed lay awake on the couch. Kelly and Jimmy had disappeared into their respective bedrooms shortly after ten, and Gordo and Tracy had gone to bed about an hour later. Ed was tired. Exhausted, really. The past few days had been mentally draining. Hell, the past couple of weeks had been.

Mostly, Ed let things roll off his back where work was concerned. But his stresses of late hadn’t been work-related. Everything with Karen – the fighting and the uncertainty about their future – was weighing on him. Not to mention what had happened at Jamestown.

Ed was relieved that Gordo and Tracy were okay. He didn’t know what he would have done if his best friend had died on the moon because Ed had forced him to go. He felt guilty enough as it was. Gordo and Tracy had been through so much on the moon. Their bodies had been put through a lot of trauma, and he knew that they still weren’t back to normal.

According to Gordo, the flight surgeon had cleared them both for work and to fly again, but Ed knew Gordo was still healing. He could see the way Gordo moved more slowly, more methodically lately. Ed assumed it was from his weakened muscles. And he could hear the short, quiet groans Gordo would try to stifle when standing up, especially after being seated for a while.

Ed knew it was a process. He was relieved that both Gordo and Tracy were on the mend, and he knew it would take time for them to get back to their normal selves.

But Ed felt guilty. He was the one who had sent the two of them to the moon. Tracy had wanted to go, but Gordo hadn’t. Not at first, anyway. He had fought it – he had told Ed that he couldn’t go back – but Ed hadn’t listened. And he had nearly gotten his friend killed because of it.

Gordo claimed that it had been the right decision. That sending him back to Jamestown was exactly what he had needed. Ed knew it had given him a renewed sense of purpose, and he had saved everyone on the moon. Ed was proud of him for that. But not only did Ed feel guilty about Gordo nearly dying up there, he also felt guilty that Gordo had brought some of it home with him.

The panic attacks.

Ed sighed into the dark living room. He knew that Gordo’s Jamestown 91 mission hadn’t caused the panic attacks. Gordo had started having those years earlier, during their Apollo 22 mission in 1974. And he had had them before Jamestown 91 as well, after Ed had given him his assignment.

But his panic attack days earlier hadn’t been about Apollo 22. There had been no ants involved like with his previous panic attacks. No, Gordo had been triggered by reminders of being on the moon without a spacesuit. He had been triggered by reminders of Jamestown 91.

And that was Ed’s fault. Ed couldn’t help but blame himself no matter how many times Gordo told him not to.

And it wasn’t just Gordo and Tracy. It was Vance Paulson too. And it was Jonathan Gatos. Gordo and Tracy had nearly died on the moon, but Vance and Jon had actually died.

It was after midnight, and the room was dark except for the dim moonlight streaming in through the two skylights in the living room ceiling. Ed had been staring through them for a half hour, unable to sleep. He couldn’t see the moon from where he lay on his back, but he could see the whitish glow of the moon just outside the skylight that was directly above his head.

He wondered if he would ever return to the moon. He wondered if he would ever return to space. He wondered if Gordo would. Or Tracy.

With a heavy sigh, Ed kicked the sheet off his legs and sat up on the edge of the couch. He scrubbed his palms over his face and got to his feet. He padded barefoot into the kitchen, startled momentarily to see Tracy seated at the kitchen table.

“Hey,” he said.

Tracy had a mug between her hands on the tabletop and was looking out the window at the dim, moonlit back yard. She turned to look at him.

“Hey. Want some coffee? It’s decaf.”

“Sure.” He walked over to the counter where the coffee pot sat, just as Tracy was getting up from her seat.

She joined him, saying, “I got it.” She opened a cabinet and retrieved a coffee mug and filled it.

“Thanks,” he said when she handed it to him. They both went to the kitchen table to sit.

“Can’t sleep?” she asked.

He shook his head.

“Is the couch uncomfortable? Maybe we—”

“No, no,” Ed said. “The couch is fine. It’s just...me.”

“What do you mean?”

Ed exhaled heavily. “Just thinking.”

“Ah,” Tracy said, in a knowing tone. “Yeah. Me too. What are you thinking about?”

“You first.”

Tracy smirked. “Well, I assume Gordo told you about me and Sam.”

Ed nodded. “Yeah. I’m sorry about that.”

“Thanks. Me too.” She shrugged a shoulder and took a sip of her coffee. When she lowered her mug to the table again, she added, “It just wasn’t right, though. Me and Sam.”

“What about you and Gordo?” Ed asked bluntly. “Is that right?”

Tracy smiled. “I don’t know yet.”

“You’re sleeping in the same bed,” Ed pointed out.

“Yeah. Just sleeping.”

“Sorry if our being here made things awkward,” Ed said.

Tracy shook her head. “Not at all. It’s a comfortable bed, and Gordo doesn’t snore, so…” She chuckled softly. “It’s fine by me.”

“You know that he wants more than that, right?” Ed said.

“I do,” Tracy said with a nod. “But right now I have to think about myself first. My marriage just ended. We’re not even divorced. Hell, I don’t even have all of my stuff from his house yet. I’m not ready to think about jumping into anything else with anyone else. Not even Gordo.”

“So, you don’t even know if you want to be with him yet?”

Tracy shook her head. “And that’s why I was so hesitant to stay here. I don’t want him getting the wrong idea.”

“‘The wrong idea,’” Ed repeated.

“Maybe,” Tracy said. “I don’t know. It’s a ‘too soon’ idea, anyway. I can’t think about all that yet. I need to deal with everything else first.”

“Right,” Ed said. “I get that.”

“I just—I don’t want to hurt him.”

Ed nodded. He debated about whether or not to say what was on his mind.

Tracy must have noticed because she asked, “What is it?”

“Nothing,” Ed said. He didn’t want to come off as taking sides. Even though Gordo was his best friend, he liked Tracy and didn’t want to make things harder for her.

“Just say it,” Tracy urged.

“Fine,” Ed said quietly with sigh. “I was just thinking that if you decide not to get back together with Gordo…” He trailed off. Tracy watched him, lifting her eyebrows in question. He continued. “It’s going to shatter him all over again.”

Tracy watched him for a moment. Then, she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. Finally, she whispered, “I know.”

Ed nodded absently. He didn’t want to see his friend get heartbroken all over again, but he also understood that Gordo had broken Tracy’s heart multiple times during their marriage. It was understandable if Tracy didn’t want to get back together with him.

“I’ve tried to be careful,” Tracy said. “I’ve told him more than once that my staying here doesn’t mean anything more than that. He knows I need some time to process and figure things out.”

“Good,” Ed said.

“But I know he’s got his hopes up. I can see it all over his face.”

“Yeah,” Ed agreed. He could see it too.

“Right now, I just want to settle in. I want to spend some time with Jimmy and readjust to being back earthside.”

“Yeah, it takes some time.” Ed felt a pang of guilt in his stomach. “You guys went through so much.”

Tracy nodded. She took another drink from her mug. Then, she changed the subject. “So, what’s got you unable to sleep tonight?”

“Just...a lot on my mind.”

“Karen?” Tracy asked.

“Partly. Yeah.”

“How’s that going?” Tracy asked cautiously.

“Could be better,” Ed said. “Could be worse, too, I guess.” He took a drink of his coffee. “We’re going to try to work on things.”

“Yeah? Well, that’s great, Ed.”

He nodded. “She wants to go to couple’s counseling.” He made a face and groaned softly.

Tracy chuckled. “And you don’t want to?”

“No. I really don’t. I don’t want some therapist pointing out all of our problems and blowing things up even worse than they already are.”

“You know they want to help you, right?”

Ed scoffed. He thought about the shrinks that he and the others had been sent to when becoming astronauts. He hadn’t worried about it then. He knew he would have no problem passing their probing questions. But he knew that they had been looking for any sign of weakness – any sign that he and the others were not fit to become astronauts – so he hadn’t worried about that at all.

But then he thought about Gordo. He had been to a psychiatrist years earlier. It had seemed to help him at the time, but after the divorce, Gordo had spiraled a bit. Ed hadn’t realized just how much until a few months earlier when they had talked on the side of the road. Gordo had admitted to feeling stuck and like he had left a part of him up on the moon.

Ed thought about Gordo returning to therapy now. He hoped it would help him. He didn’t want his friend to be haunted by what had happened at Jamestown. He didn’t want it to affect Gordo, but Ed also, selfishly, wanted to stop feeling so guilty for being the one to send Gordo back up to the moon. Ed knew that he, himself, was the reason for Gordo’s current panic attacks. He didn’t want to be responsible for that, and he hoped that Gordo would get better.

“Yeah, I guess,” Ed said finally.

“You know, Gordo actually offered to go to counseling with me.”

“Yeah?”

Tracy nodded. “When we got back home, he told me again that he wanted me back. That he wants to be with me and for all of us to be a family again.” Tracy looked at Ed and smiled gently. “He said he would do whatever it takes and offered to go to couple’s counseling.”

Ed nodded. “I’m not surprised.”

Tracy looked at him curiously.

“He still really loves you, Tracy.”

“Yeah,” Tracy said gently. “I love him too.”

Ed looked out the kitchen window. He loved Karen. And he knew that she loved him as well. But he also knew that sometimes loving each other just wasn’t enough.

“What else is keeping you up?” Tracy asked.

“What?”

“You said that it’s partly Karen. What else is it?”

“Oh,” Ed uttered. “Just—What happened up there.”

“At Jamestown?”

Ed nodded.

“What about it?”

Ed shrugged. “I put you all up there.” He didn’t look at her, but he could tell that Tracy was watching him closely. “And you nearly died. You and Gordo.”

Tracy sighed softly. “But we didn’t.”

“No. But you almost did. And…” He trailed off, shaking his head before he continued. “And Vance actually did. And Jon.”

“Yeah,” Tracy whispered.

Ed looked at her then as she let her gaze fall somewhere out the window.

After a few silent moments, Tracy said, “You know they sent them back to earth before us?”

“Vance and Jon?”

Tracy nodded. “They were already buried in Arlington before Gordo and I ever left Jamestown.”

Ed nodded. He knew that. He had attended both funerals.

“Gordo trained with Jon for Jamestown 91, but I didn’t know him very well,” Tracy said. “I knew Vance, though.” She paused for a long moment before adding, “He was a good man.”

“He was,” Ed agreed. “They both were. And they didn’t deserve what happened.”

Tracy pulled her attention away from the window and studied Ed for a long moment. “You know that wasn’t your fault, right?”

Ed shrugged. It was. Of course, it was. “I put them up there. I put you all up there.” He paused. “I even pushed for sending guns to the moon to reclaim the mining site.”

“You couldn’t have known that any of that was going to happen,” Tracy said. “And Vance. Jon. Gordo. Me. We all chose this career, knowing the risks. We chose this career to take these kinds of missions. We all know how dangerous it is. You didn’t force this on any of us.”

“I forced it on Gordo,” Ed said. He looked at Tracy who shook her head.

“Maybe at first,” she said. “But you were doing what you thought was right. What you thought would help him. And it did. When he first showed up at Jamestown…” She chuckled quietly and smiled. “God, he looked so happy. I honestly hadn’t seen him that way in a long time.”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ed said with a soft sigh.

“We’ve talked about it some since then,” Tracy said. “He doesn’t blame you for any of it, Ed. And neither do I.” She paused for a long moment, just watching him. Finally, she added, “Maybe someday you can stop blaming yourself too.”

I hope so, Ed thought but didn’t say. He just nodded and took a sip of his coffee.

“In the meantime,” Tracy said, pushing her chair back and getting to her feet. “I’m going to try to get some sleep. You let us know if you and Kelly need anything, all right?”

“All right,” Ed said.

Tracy walked to the counter and set her mug in the sink.

As she headed for the door, Ed said, “Tracy.”

She stopped and turned to look at him. “Yeah?”

“Thanks.”

She smiled. “Any time.”

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gordopickett · 2 months ago

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And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 43 is up! ***

Chapter Title: After Dinner

Chapter Summary: Gordo & Ed have a chat in the back yard after dinner.

And for those who would like to read the chapter on Tumblr...

*******

“Thanks for letting us stay here,” Ed said.

“You’re welcome,” Gordo replied.

The two of them were in the back yard, seated in white plastic patio chairs beneath the shade tree in the corner of the yard. From where they sat, they had a full view of the entire back yard, from the patio table to the swimming pool.

Ed and Kelly had arrived a couple of hours earlier, and Gordo was glad for it. He knew Ed was already in a bad head space about his marriage, and Gordo doubted that Ed and Kelly living in a hotel room was helping matters. He was glad that Ed had taken him up on his offer.

“Thanks for dinner too,” Ed added. “That spaghetti was actually pretty good.” He paused, giving Gordo a teasing grin. “Even if you did help with it.”

Gordo chuckled. “Yeah, well, that was mostly Tracy.”

“No shit,” Ed said with a smirk.

Gordo laughed. “I’m trying to learn, but, you know, it’s slow going.”

Ed nodded. A little more seriously, he said, “Well, good for you, man. I’m sure you’ll pick it up.”

Gordo smiled.

Ed inhaled a deep breath, letting it out audibly. After a few moments, he said, “I also wanted to thank you for...”

“For what?” Gordo prodded.

“For last night. For helping me.” Ed scratched at the back of his head and glanced at Gordo with a small, sheepish smile. “I was so wasted.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that. How many times have you helped me out?”

“Well, hell, I’ve lost count,” Ed said with a smirk.

Gordo chuckled. “Me too.”

“But thanks for pulling me out of there. I…” He trailed off, exhaling heavily. “I hate that Kelly saw me like that.”

“You’re welcome. How is she handling everything?”

“In her Kelly way.”

“What does that mean?”

“She’s tough.”

“Of course she is,” Gordo said. “She’s your daughter.”

“No,” Ed uttered. “She’s tough in ways that I’m not. In ways that…are really her own.”

“How so?”

“She doesn’t let things, I don’t know, get to her. I mean, she gets upset. Of course she does. But she’s just really good at…” Ed shook his head, staring out at the back yard. “Handling things.”

“That’s good.”

“Like last night. I started remembering some things. I remember that she had wanted to call Karen, but I wouldn’t let her.”

“That’s understandable. That probably wouldn’t have helped things.”

“No, probably not. But then Kelly called you.” Ed looked at him. “Didn’t she?”

Gordo offered a small smile. He hadn’t told Ed that Kelly had called him. He had thought that Ed might assume that Gordo had gone up to Ed’s hotel room on his own, looking for Ed when he hadn’t shown up at the bar. But Gordo wasn’t surprised that Ed had figured it out.

Gordo nodded. “Yeah, she did. She was worried about you.”

“I know.” Ed sighed quietly. “I hate that.”

“I know what you mean,” Gordo said, recalling how worried Jimmy had been for him and Tracy in the days after their return.

“How’s that going?” Ed asked. “You said Jimmy was having a tough time.”

Gordo nodded. “He’s doing better. But I get it. I hate that he was worried at all.”

“Yeah,” Ed uttered. “It’s not their job to worry about us.”

“No,” Gordo said. “But that’s what happens when you care about someone.” He looked at Ed who sighed again. “Kelly loves you, man. She’s going to worry about you. That’s not something you can control.”

“No, I guess not.”

“It’s okay not to have your shit together all the time,” Gordo pointed out.

Ed nodded and then smirked. His smirk turned into a chuckle as he looked at Gordo. “Life advice from Gordo Stevens. Who would have thought it would come to this?” he teased.

Gordo chuckled. “If Tracy were out here, she’d say something like, ‘And all it took was nearly dying on the moon.’”

Ed smiled but then shook his head. “No.” He looked at Gordo for a long moment before he added, “You changed before that.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

Gordo stared out at the yard, watching the leaves gently blow in the cool, pleasant October breeze. He could feel Ed’s eyes on him, but Gordo didn’t look at his friend.

“So,” Ed began after a few moments. “How are you doing with everything?”

“Okay,” Gordo said.

“Yeah?”

“Mm.”

“Have you had any more panic attacks?”

Gordo shook his head. He hadn’t had a panic attack since the day he and Ed had taken up the T-38s. But he knew the nature of panic attacks, and he knew they could come at any moment.

“I made an appointment for tomorrow,” Gordo admitted. “With a psychiatrist.”

“That’s good,” Ed said. “Right?”

Gordo nodded. “Hopefully. I just—I want to get ahead of it.”

“What do you mean?”

Gordo took a deep breath and then exhaled heavily. “The last time I came back from the moon, I was so lost. I didn’t know what had happened up there or why I had lost my mind. I saw Dr. Marsten, but…” Gordo trailed off and sighed before continuing. “I didn’t open up to him very well. Everything just got to be a little too much back then.”

“Yeah,” Ed said gently.

“I don’t want to run from it this time. You know? I want—I want things to be different.”

“That’s good,” Ed said again. “Does anyone else know you’re going back to therapy?”

“Just Trace,” Gordo said. “I told her about what happened when you and I were flying the other day. She’s the one who suggested I talk to someone again.”

“Well, that’s great, buddy. I hope it helps.”

“Thanks,” Gordo said. He hoped so too.

“So, uh,” Ed began.

Gordo looked at him.

“What’s the deal with you and Tracy?”

Gordo smiled. “What do you mean?”

“Don’t play dumb,” Ed said with a smirk. “She’s over here in the evening. She’s having dinner here. She’s teaching you to cook. There’s something going on.”

Gordo inhaled sharply. “She and Sam sort of split up.”

“For real?” Ed asked, eyebrows lifted.

Gordo nodded. “So, Tracy’s been staying here.”

“Does that mean you two are back together?”

“No. She’s just staying here so she doesn’t have to go back to Sam’s or to a hotel.”

“Wow,” Ed uttered. “This house just got pretty crowded for you.”

“I like it,” Gordo admitted. “It’s just been Jimmy and me for most of the past year. Having a full house again reminds me of when the boys were little and Tracy and I were still together.” He smiled gently. “It’s nice having more activity around the house again.”

“Well, good.” Ed smiled. “Then, I won’t worry about rushing out of here.”

Gordo chuckled. “Good. There’s no need. You and Kelly can stay as long as you like.”

“Thanks, buddy.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Wait,” Ed said suddenly. “Isn’t this a three-bedroom house?”

Gordo nodded.

“And I’m on the couch.” Ed eyed him for a moment before asking, “So, where is Tracy sleeping?”

Gordo couldn’t help the grin that formed on his face.

“Oh,” Ed said with a knowing smirk. “Really?”

Gordo shrugged. “I offered to get an air mattress and sleep on the floor, but she said that was ridiculous.”

“Wow.” Ed smiled. Then, in a teasing tone, he added, “Well, if you need us to clear out so you can have your bed to yourself again—”

“Don’t you dare,” Gordo said quickly and with a chuckle.

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