#gordopickett writing

[gordopickett]

WIP Wednesday!

Thanks for the tag, @youreorangeyoumoron 💙

I'm actually getting to this on a Wednesday for once! 😆

So far I have 29 chapters up on Ao3 of my For All Mankind post-season 2 fix-it fic called And If It's Not Okay... This is an excerpt from chapter 36, wherein Gordo & Ed have made plans to hang out one evening, but Ed doesn't show.

Gordo arrived at the Shamrock ten minutes before seven. He walked through the warm, inviting lobby with its muted green floor and walls of mahogany paneling and travertine. He found the Pine Grill where he was supposed to meet Ed, and he slid into a booth. A waitress came over immediately and took his drink order – a club soda. Gordo hadn’t cut out alcohol from his life entirely. But he had cut back significantly, ever since he had gotten serious about his training for Jamestown 91. He was sure that that – along with getting back into a workout routine – was what had helped him lose so much weight before his launch. He hadn’t been particularly set on losing weight, per se, but he had wanted to get back in shape. He always felt better when he kept his body strong and moving. The weight loss had just been a byproduct of that. But ever since his return from Jamestown, Gordo hadn’t felt strong. His injuries had kept him immobile for days and then fairly sedentary for nearly three weeks. Now that he had been cleared by the NASA flight surgeon to start exercising again, he looked forward to getting back to it. He knew he would have to start out slowly, however. He had lost a few more pounds and a lot of muscle mass over the past three weeks, and he felt much weaker than he was used to. Getting back in shape would be a process, but Gordo was up for the challenge. And he didn’t have a launch deadline to meet, so he knew he could do it at a slow, healthy pace. Gordo sipped his club soda, waiting for Ed to arrive. He checked his watch again, noting that it was now ten minutes past seven. He wondered why Ed was late. It wasn’t like he had to drive across town. He was staying right upstairs in the hotel. Gordo waited a few more minutes. He was beginning to wonder if Ed had forgotten about their plan when the bartender shouted, “Gordo Stevens?” Gordo looked over. “Yeah?” The bartender looked at him, lifting up the phone receiver he held in his hand. “You’ve got a phone call.” Gordo furrowed his brow curiously and got to his feet. He walked over to the bar, and the bartender handed him the phone. He held it to his ear. “This is Gordo Stevens.” “Mr. Stevens?” a female voice said timidly in his ear. He didn’t immediately recognize it. “Yes?” “This is Kelly,” she said. “Baldwin. I, uh, tried calling your house, but Jimmy said you were at the Pine Grill.” “Yeah. I’m supposed to be meeting your dad here. Is everything okay?” “I didn’t know who else to call.” “What’s going on?” “I don’t know. Something’s wrong. We’re up in our room. Dad’s been drinking, and he’s just—He seems really upset.” She paused. “I’m worried about him.” “What’s the room number?” Gordo asked. When she told him, he said, “I’ll be right up.”

I wanted this scene to be a sort of parallel to Karen calling Ed to come get Gordo at The Outpost in episode 2x02. But instead of Ed helping Gordo when he's drunk & spiraling, this time it's Gordo helping Ed who's going through something similar.

Tagging @benwvatt @lacontroller1991 @rachg82 @onekisstotakewithme @roughroadhaley

@kayhi808 @marvmerchant @margospiano @violetmuses @castalyne

@cicada-circuitry @nadia-el-mansours @flamingo24 @tavners @allatariel & anyone else who wants to play!

Feel free to share anything you're working on, writing or not, but no pressure either way! 😊

[allatariel]

Seven Sentence Sunday

Thank you to @gordopickett who tagged me two Sundays ago <3 I am so slow!!

Tagging: @madamairlock @brynnmclean, @callioope, @toodeeplyinvested, @tiltedsyllogism

Tagging more (because tumblr is broken): @spectral-musette, @narilwrites, @sparkleplatypuswriter, @moocowmoocow, @melyzard

And anyone else who would like to <3

So, this is a brand new season 4 standard issue fix-it, because I have no focus and am going with the flow—when it decides to actually flow. The idea came to me while I was writing some tags on an imagine your OTP style post on Friday night and then proceeded to stay up way too late writing this as a path to that. And going back to check my memory of Graciana this morning, I think I misremembered her as 4–5 instead of 5–6 years old, something to fix later! This may pull in the other season 4 snippets I've already posted, not sure yet. But definitely leads to Brazil! Currently calling it We Are Fortunate Ones I Swear. Also, I can't seem to limit myself to sharing seven sentences, so here's an additional twelve with it!

“Mamá!” Graciana exclaimed again, with even more gusto and a touch of sass, and Aleida’s attention snapped to her. Her daughter’s attention was fixed on something outside her window and her face lit up as she pointed. “I see tío!” Aleida’s brow furrowed as she followed the line of her pointing hand to see a familiar man holding a black umbrella stepping off the curb to cross the street in front of them. They’d only met a few times and Graciana was already calling him “tío”? Before Aleida could even begin to process that thought, Graciana had jabbed the button to roll down her window and called to him at top volume. “Tío Sergei!” Sergei looked startled and then smiled warmly when he recognized them. “Miss Graciana! Hello!” he called and she giggled as he hurried over to her and bent down some, holding his umbrella over the open window. “You’re getting rain in your mother’s lovely car,” he chided her gently before giving Aleida a nod and waving. “Hello Aleida.” Graciana shyly leaned back towards Aleida, her prior boldness gone but her smile remained bright. Aleida smirked at her daughter’s sudden shift and addressed Sergei. “What are you doing walking in this mess?” “Oh, it’s not so bad, only a little drizzle. My hotel is right there”—he pointed behind him and then at the McDonald’s across the street—”and I’m just getting some dinner.” “We’re having ice cream bars!” Graciana found her voice again and Sergei chuckled as Aleida grinned and wrapped her arm around her. “After dinner, there may be ice cream,” Aleida corrected Graciana without any heat and then looked up at Sergei smiling at them a little distantly. “Would you like to join us?” she asked without really thinking of anything but the fondness she’d seen between him and Margo at dinner only a few nights ago.

[youreorangeyoumoron]

✨ WIP Wednesday ✨

I was tagged by @allatariel last week! thank you :)

So I have a couple Margo x Sergei WIPs in store. None of them are particularly polished, though there's always the Brazil one but atm I find it so cringe that I can't bear to look at it.

But! I chose a few paragraphs from this AU that I've been cooking up (letting it stew would be more accurate) about Margo and Sergei babysitting baby Javi.

Now Javi was born in 1988, 89, give or take, which places this fic after Margo and Sergei discuss sushi, and before Sergei successfully goes for the Hand Touch ™. I was curious to write a Margo who's gained a lot of confidence since S2 but still remains a little awkward at times, there's potential for a lot of fun, and for her to reflect on her relationship with Sergei with her newfound confidence. Just what exactly happens in those twelve months in between elevator rides that makes her ready to accept more intimacy with him? Let's rotate her thought process for a bit.

(his divorce helps, lbr, but I'm looking for her "...oh". moment. Which knowing her may take several moments and a severe barrelling through her mental defenses but that's what fanfic is for)

Javi stared intently at the new guy, clenching Margo’s jacket in his little fist. Sergei removed his own jacket and hung it on the hook by the door. His tie came off next, leaving him in his white shirt. He pointed at Javi’s fist. “It’s a very nice jacket. Kids are messy.” Margo glanced down at the kid, saw the death grip he had on her lapel – and a small drool stain from earlier. She sighed. It was a very nice jacket. “Yeah, I should change, I brought a change of clothes. Can you…” She handed Javi to Sergei with fumbling gestures; he pulled the kid into a much more assured embrace, which reassured her. She slowly backtracked into the hallway. Suddenly held by unfamiliar arms, Javi began to whine. Margo winced, gestured towards the kid. “Or he could go on his playmat. Do you want me to…” “No, no, it’s alright.” Sergei began to rock Javi, with a lot more ease than she had. His entire attention was captivated by the baby in his arms. As the whines turned into full-blown cries, Sergei caught the pacifier just in time and set it on the side table. “It’s okay, Tia Margo will be in the next room for a few minutes,” he told Javi in a singsong voice that she could never muster. It shouldn’t surprise her. After all, he was the man who had her playing pretend with him in the Apollo-Soyuz docking module prototype. (For a while this experience had embarrassed her; as of late it had become a fond memory.) Seemed like he had everything under control, Margo mused as she picked up her overnight bag and escaped to Aleida’s room, where she changed out of her work clothes and into the NASA-branded T-shirt and sweatpants that she kept in her office just in case. She had made the right choice calling him over; she loved Javi, but she could use his expertise. When she made her way back to the living room, she was surprised to hear, well… nothing. She found them settled on the couch, Javi held in Sergei’s arms, clutching his bunny with one hand and intently exploring Sergei’s beard with the other. She took a minute to bask in the curious sight of Sergei sharing a special moment with an infant, smiling, sleeves rolled up, slightly dishevelled. Seeing him outside of engineering and in a domestic setting was strange, but also interesting; it was a whole other side of him, that she would otherwise have never gotten to witness. For a reason she couldn’t explain, she found herself unable to look away. Sergei eventually noticed her, and grinned up at her. “He likes the beard.” She nodded. “Me, too.” The phone ringing in the kitchen gave her the perfect opportunity to flee after this slightly too spontaneous compliment. Christ. What was she thinking?

I wish to tag @sparkleplatypuswriter @gabolange @tiltedsyllogism @gordopickett @katesofheaven @caffeinatedcrab

and anybody who would like to do it (if you're reading this but you don't watch FAM it includes you! Join the fun!) (if you do watch FAM consider yourself tagged to the moon and BACK)

[benwvatt]

seven sentence sunday

tagged by the wonderful @tailsbeth-writes and @thesleepyskipper !

enjoy 7 sentences of my RBB fic, which is a college AU in which firstprince run a podcast together. on god's blood, i swear I will finish this story even though it is turning out much harder than I originally thought.

Alex grins, golden in the dying light the sunset affords him. Henry adores him it and feels a crack of bone widen in his chest, in this poorly-put-together ribcage. There’s a chip on Henry's shoulder and it’s been widening, winding its way down for years. Sometimes, he wonders if he’s getting weaker, worse with age. Sure, Henry’s life’s improved in some ways ー he’s left the UK behind, come out, met Alex, started school and the podcast ー but in other ways he was so much brighter as a boy. Before shadows crept across Henry’s windows and whispered in his ears, and before he’d realised just how bitter his grandparents were capable of being, he’d been happier. Alex’s voice trails down, across, over makeshift moors and paragraphs and radio waves.

tagging @siobhanbooks @doctorkepner @likehercules @beachy--head @useragarfield

@thoughtthedormouse @gordopickett @onekisstotakewithme @ladyknightellen @thedramasummer and anyone else interested in participating!

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 31 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Astronaut’s Wife

Chapter Summary: Ed goes back home to have a conversation with Karen about their marriage, but it doesn't go as smoothly as he had hoped.

And for anyone who wants to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Chapter 31: Astronaut’s Wife

Ed drove back home from Ellington in his two-tone Stingray. He and Gordo had taken the T-38s up again. Ed had been a little concerned at first about Gordo getting back up into the air after what had just happened. A “panic attack,” Gordo had called it.

Ed had listened to Gordo take a few deep, calming breaths before their second takeoff, but after that, Gordo had seemed fine. In the air, they had joked and laughed like normal, giving each other a hard time. They had agreed to a best-of-three in their second round of dogfighting. Gordo kicked Ed’s ass twice in a row.

Gordo had always been an amazing pilot – probably the best pilot Ed knew – but Gordo seemed more confident in the air lately than he had in years. Since before their first mission to Jamestown. Gordo’s renewed confidence reminded Ed of how he had been ten or fifteen years earlier. He was an even better pilot nowadays. He wasn’t arrogant like he had been back then, but he had faith in his skills as a pilot.

Despite the panic attacks, despite everything he had been through, Gordo still came alive when he was in a cockpit. And Ed was proud of him for doing that. He was proud of Gordo for immediately facing his fear and getting back into the cockpit at Ellington. Ed could tell that Gordo had changed tremendously over the past few months. He still had his demons. He still had his fears. But he wasn’t letting those things hold him back any longer. Ed was glad to see it.

And even more than that, Ed felt inspired by it.

He had been afraid to talk to Karen. Afraid of what might happen. Afraid she would tell him that their marriage was over. That she wanted out.

But Ed was ready to talk now. He wanted to make things work. He wanted to stay married and fix whatever had broken between them. He was ready to let Karen know how he felt.

After climbing out of the T-38s, Ed and Gordo had made plans to meet up at the Pine Grill at the Shamrock the next evening. In the meantime, Ed was going back home to talk to Karen.

Ed rolled up in the driveway and went into the house. He found Karen at the kitchen table, balancing the checkbook. There were papers scattered over the surface of the table, but Ed didn’t look at them.

“Hey,” he said, stopping in the doorway to the kitchen.

Karen looked up, a small smile playing on her lips as she looked him over. He was still wearing his flight suit, but he had removed his parachute pack and left it in the car with his flight bag.

“Hi,” Karen said, looking at him curiously. “Where are you headed?”

“Nowhere,” he said. “I just got back from Ellington. Gordo and I took up a couple of jets.”

“Oh,” she said, setting down the checkbook. “Everybody okay? Nobody had to be rescued from the Gulf this time?”

“No.” Ed smiled sheepishly. “No, everyone is fine.”

“That’s good.” She paused briefly. “How are you?” she asked. “How’s Kelly?”

“We’re...okay,” he said. “You?”

“I’m okay.”

He nodded slowly, letting his gaze wander around the kitchen, not looking at anything in particular.

“What’s going on, Ed?” she asked finally.

He scratched at the back of his neck, and as he lowered his hand, he said, “I was hoping we could talk.” He paused. “About us.”

“Okay,” she said. “Are you sure?”

He looked at her. He thought he was sure. He had been sure on the drive over. But now, looking at Karen sitting in their kitchen, he wasn’t so sure. His fear about the future of their marriage was returning. He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, thinking about Gordo getting back in the T-38 after his panic attack. If he could do that, Ed could surely have a conversation with his wife.

Finally, Ed nodded. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“All right,” Karen said, setting the checkbook down on the table. “Would you like to start?”

Ed hesitated. He didn’t know how to begin. He didn’t know what Karen was thinking or what she wanted for their relationship.

Ed thought about what he wanted. He took a deep breath and said, “I don’t want to get divorced.”

Karen nodded slowly but said nothing.

Unable to read how she was feeling or what she was thinking, he said, “I don’t know what happened.” He hesitated, stammering a bit as he continued. “With—with us. I don’t—I don’t know what went wrong.” He paused, trying to gather his thoughts. “I want to fix it, though. I want…” He trailed off and sighed softly. “I want us to be okay.”

Karen studied him for a long time. Ed still couldn’t tell what she was thinking.

“Thank you,” she said finally. “For wanting to talk about us.”

He nodded and slowly walked towards the table where she sat. “What, um—How are you...feeling about it? About us?”

Karen took a deep breath. She looked down at the table where the papers were scattered about. He glanced down as well, noting, among other things, a pamphlet for William and Mary.

“I’m glad you want to fix things,” she said, looking up at him again. “I do too.”

Ed exhaled a relieved sigh. “Good.”

“But we have a lot of work to do, Ed.”

“Okay,” he said, taking a seat to her left at the table. “You said you think we need counseling.”

“I do.”

He nodded. “If that’s what it takes to fix things, we can do that.”

“Yeah,” she said softly, almost in a whisper. She looked down at the table again, absently fingering the corner of the William and Mary pamphlet.

He glanced down at it. He knew Kelly had been considering William and Mary, but he was pretty sure that she had since decided on the Naval Academy. Ed wondered why Karen had the pamphlet out.

“That’s not all, though,” Karen said.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re an astronaut, Ed,” she began. He didn’t know where she was going with it, so he waited for her to continue. “Your whole life has been about the Navy and NASA. Which means that my whole life has been about those things too.”

She looked at him, and Ed wondered if he was supposed to understand what she was getting at. He didn’t.

“After Shane, I stopped caring so much about being the dutiful astronaut’s wife. And when I bought The Outpost, I thought I was carving my own path.”

Ed nodded his agreement.

“But that’s not true,” Karen said.

Ed furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Sure, I owned a bar. But it’s an astronaut bar. The astronauts still hang out there. Other people come in, hoping to get a glimpse of an astronaut and to buy astronaut trinkets and baubles.” She went quiet for a moment.

“I—I don’t understand.”

“My whole life still revolves around the space program. Around your career.” She paused. “I love you, Ed. And I support you. I do.”

“Okay,” he said, dragging out the word. “But?”

“But I need something just for me, Ed. I’ve never had that.”

Ed shook his head, confused. “What are you saying?”

She searched his eyes for a long moment before saying, “I’m thinking about going to business school.”

Ed opened his mouth to speak but didn’t know what to say. He would support her – of course he would – but he didn’t understand why she seemed hesitant to tell him.

“I need to be able to do something for myself. I want that, Ed.”

“Okay,” he said, still confused. “I think that’s great, Karen. You should do something for yourself.”

She glanced down at the table again. Ed followed her gaze, eyeing the William and Mary pamphlet again. His stomach knotted.

“Wait,” he uttered. “Are you…”

She looked up at him, and he could tell that she was bracing for his reaction.

“No,” he said. “You’re—You’re wanting to go to William and Mary?”

“I’m thinking about it,” she said, holding his gaze.

He got up from his seat. He paced for a few seconds and then stopped, looking at Karen who remained at the table. “You want to go to school halfway across the country?”

“Like I said, Ed, I’m thinking about it.”

“How are we supposed to work on our marriage when you’re in Virginia?”

“This semester has already begun, so the earliest I could start would be the spring semester. We would still have months before I would need to leave.”

“‘Leave,’” Ed muttered with a wry chuckle. “You want to leave?”

“What’s the big deal, Ed? You leave all the time. And space – hell, the moon – is a hell of a lot farther than the east coast.”

“That’s…” Ed trailed off, not sure what to say. She had a point. He hated that she had a point, but she did.

“Don’t say ‘that’s different,’ Ed. It’s not. Your entire career – our entire marriage – has been based on you leaving. Going to war. Going to space.”

“Yeah, but…” Ed waved a hand, unsure how to continue. It felt different to him, but he couldn’t figure out why.

“But what, Ed? Is it because it’s me leaving this time? It’s okay as long as you are the one who gets to leave, but it’s not okay if it’s me. Is that it?”

“I…” That was part of it, but Ed didn’t want to admit it. He knew that would only anger Karen. “I thought you wanted to work on our marriage.”

“I do, Ed. It doesn’t have to be either-or. We can do both.”

“How?” he demanded, raising his voice. “You’ll be gone for months at a time.”

“You were on the moon for months, Ed,” she said plainly.

“Yeah, but—But we still talked. We had the video comms.”

“We can still do that,” Karen said. “I’ll get a comm for my apartment in Virginia.”

“Your…” Ed shook his head in disbelief. “Your apartment?”

“Yeah, I don’t imagine I’ll stay in the dorms.”

“I don’t—You’ve already decided this, haven’t you?”

“I haven’t,” she said. “Not for sure. But it is something I’m seriously considering, Ed.”

“I…” Ed trailed off, shaking his head again. He didn’t understand what was happening. “I came here to talk about us,” he said, his voice strained with emotion. “And now you’re telling me you want to leave. You want to go halfway across the country instead of staying here to work on our marriage.”

“Not ‘instead of,’” Karen said.

“I don’t—I can’t listen to this right now.” Eyes stinging, Ed turned and headed for the door.

“Ed,” Karen said from behind him.

Something screamed at him to stop. To turn around and go back. To finish talking with Karen and figure things out. But he didn’t listen. He stormed out the front door, hopped in his Corvette, and sped towards the Shamrock.

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 23 is up! ***

Chapter Summary:  Ed comes back to the Shamrock Hotel to find Kelly upset. He wants her to talk to him, but she is hesitant to tell him what's wrong.

Chapters: 23/? Fandom: For All Mankind (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gordo Stevens/Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin/Karen Baldwin Characters: Gordo Stevens, Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin, Danielle Poole, Danny Stevens, Jimmy Stevens, Karen Baldwin, Kelly Baldwin, Margo Madison, Molly Cobb, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, Sam Cleveland, Ellen Wilson (mentioned), Larry Wilson (mentioned), Wayne Cobb (mentioned) Additional Tags: Episode: s02e10 The Grey (For All Mankind), canon until it's not, Fix-It, fam - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Timeline, Jamestown - Freeform, El Gordo, Welcome Home Party, Gordo's weight loss, Injury Recovery, Fix It Fic, For All Mankind fix it fic, For All Mankind fix it, Michael Dorman, post season 2 fix it fic, Friendship, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Female Friendship, Established Relationship, weight loss, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Joel Kinnaman - Freeform, Marriage, Divorce, Therapy, Naval Academy, NASA, Ellington Air Force Base, Shamrock Hotel Series: Part 1 of For All Mankind Summary:

***FOR ALL MANKIND S1 & S2 SPOILERS AHEAD***

I just finished watching season 2 of For All Mankind for the first time, and I am in much need of a fix-it fic, so here it is.

Gordo & Tracy fix the nuclear reactor's coolant system and return to the Jamestown airlock. Everything after this is my alternate universe/timeline wherein they both survive and have a chance to face the world (& beyond) together again.

[gordopickett]

WIP Wednesday!

I was tagged by @benwvatt last week, and I'm just getting around to this on Monday, so… 🤷‍♀️ lol.

Tagging @allatariel @onekisstotakewithme @lacontroller1991

@violetmuses @tiltedsyllogism @castalyne & anyone else who wants to play! 😁

Here's a snippet from one of my For All Mankind fics called "Confined" which is basically one big missing scene in the 3 weeks that Gordo is confined to the Jamestown base. This is from Chapter 1 (which is the only chapter I've written so far lol).

Gordo looked at Ed who was still working nearby. He had the toolbox out and was tightening screws in the partition that he had thrown Gordo against the night before. Gordo wondered if the screws were actually in need of tightening or if Ed was simply trying to busy himself so he wouldn’t have to interact with Gordo. Dani handed Gordo a fork. He took it and looked down at the yellowish-white patty of gelatinous goo that was meant to pass for scrambled eggs. He took a deep breath and stuck his fork in it. He brought the bite up, feeling a small gag in his throat. He swallowed away the sensation and put the fork in his mouth. Once he had gotten the bite down, he said, “I can’t wait to have a big, juicy cheeseburger at The Outpost again.” “Yeah.” Dani smiled. “And some cheese fries.” “Apple pie,” Gordo added. “Pizza.” “Oh, yes,” Gordo said, his mouth watering at the thought. “Pizza.” “What are you looking forward to, Ed?” Dani asked. “Getting the rest of our work done today,” Ed said dutifully. Gordo took another bite of his scramble as Dani smiled and rolled her eyes, shaking her head. “And Karen’s homemade spaghetti,” Ed added after a beat, his tone softening a little. Dani chuckled. “There you go.”

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 39 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Adapting

Chapter Summary: Gordo & Tracy discuss their friends, Sam, and their own relationship.

*******

“Hey,” Tracy said when Gordo entered the living room. “How were drinks with Ed?”

“Uh,” Gordo uttered. He walked over to the couch and sat down to her left. “We didn’t get to that.”

Tracy furrowed her brow. “I thought you guys were planning to go out for drinks.”

Gordo nodded. “We were, but…” He trailed off, shrugging a shoulder.

Tracy watched him for a moment before saying, “Well, don’t keep me in suspense. What happened?”

Gordo sighed softly. “We went for a walk instead. He’s…” Gordo shook his head. “He’s not in a good place right now.”

“Oh,” Tracy uttered. “Because of Karen?”

Gordo nodded. “He’s afraid she’s going to leave him.”

“Shouldn’t he be the one to leave her?” Tracy asked. “She’s the one who cheated, after all.”

“I don’t know,” Gordo said. “I guess. But he doesn’t want that. He wants their marriage to work, and he’s afraid that she doesn’t.”

“She does,” Tracy said.

Gordo looked at her curiously. “How do you know that?”

“Because I talked to her today. Karen.”

Gordo lifted his eyebrows in surprise. Tracy hadn’t said much to him about Karen or how she felt about the whole situation between her and Danny. Gordo figured she was just taking some time to process what had happened and wrap her head around it. He hadn’t expected her to talk to Karen so soon.

“How did that go?” Gordo asked, watching her closely.

Tracy shrugged. “Weird.”

“Weird, how?”

“Because part of me is really upset about the whole thing. About what she did with Danny. I know our boy is a man now, but it’s just—I couldn’t understand why Karen would do that with him.”

“Yeah,” Gordo whispered. He hadn’t been able to understand it either. But he had been more concerned about Danny and how he was coping with Karen’s rejection than why Karen had done what she did.

“Another part of me sort of…” Tracy trailed off, shaking her head.

“Sort of, what?”

“Understands,” Tracy finished.

Gordo furrowed his brow. “Really?”

“Don’t get me wrong,” Tracy said. “I’m pissed about the whole thing. But I get her reasoning. It wasn’t about Danny.”

“What was it about?”

“Karen. And Ed, somewhat.”

“Okay,” Gordo said, dragging out the sound a bit. He didn’t understand, but he waited to let her explain.

“She feels like her entire life has revolved around Ed and his career. Still revolves around Ed and his career. She’s never really had anything of her own, away from him. Something she can get excited about on her own.”

“What about the bar?”

“It’s an astronaut bar,” Tracy reminded him.

“Right.”

“It’s still very central to Ed’s world. And she just feels sort of...stuck, I guess. That’s what I took from her explanation.”

Gordo nodded slowly. He understood that feeling well. After he and Tracy had gotten divorced, that was exactly how he had felt. Stuck. And then when she had gotten remarried, that had pushed him over the edge. He had realized just how alone he was – with Tracy starting her new life with Sam, and his kids growing up and having their own lives away from home. Gordo had been ground-bound for nearly a decade, had drown himself in the bottle, and had spiraled deeper and deeper into depression.

He had told Ed something similar that night on the road months earlier. He had told Ed that he was stuck, that the past wouldn’t let him go, that he had left something up at Jamestown, and that he felt like he didn’t exist anymore.

“I guess she’s been unhappy for a while,” Tracy continued. “So, when Danny showed interest in her, it lit some kind of spark for her.” Tracy shrugged. “Not because of Danny himself. But because his interest made her feel good about herself again. Something she hadn’t felt in a long time, apparently.”

“So, it wasn’t about Danny?”

Tracy shook her head. “But I hate that she used him that way.”

“Yeah,” Gordo agreed quietly, picturing how upset Danny had looked during their talks about what had happened and how Karen didn’t feel the same way about him.

“I don’t think she meant to use him that way. She said she didn’t realize how strong Danny’s feelings for her were until afterwards.”

Gordo nodded. He looked at Tracy again, studying her face. She looked back at him.

“How are you feeling about it?” Gordo asked. “I mean, she’s your friend. Or...was.”

“Yeah,” Tracy uttered. “She was. Maybe still is. I don’t know yet. I’m still trying to process. It’s a lot.”

“It is.”

“I guess what I’m most upset about is the fact that Danny got hurt in all of it.”

Gordo nodded his agreement.

“But from what she told me, she never meant for that to happen. According to her, she didn’t even know how he felt about her. She thought that he had gone into it with the same mindset that she had, and then she found out after the fact that he had these strong feelings for her.”

“Right.”

“Maybe I can forgive her someday,” Tracy said. “I don’t know.”

“Yeah,” Gordo said, watching her closely. He hated that she was upset. That she and her best friend were on the outs. He knew how that was. Gordo and Ed had had their fair share of arguments and fights over the years, but neither had ever betrayed the other quite like Karen had done to Tracy. He knew something like that would be difficult to forgive.

“So, tell me about your night,” Tracy said. “Sorry. I kind of hijacked the conversation.”

“It’s all right,” Gordo said with a small smile. “Ed’s just upset about how things are going with Karen. I guess she is planning to go to business school or something. He’s afraid she’s just going to up and leave him.”

“Oh,” Tracy said. “Yeah. She mentioned something about that. About going back to school.”

Gordo nodded. “And with Kelly off to Annapolis next year, he’s afraid he’s going to be alone.”

“He won’t be alone,” Tracy said. “Kelly will still come back home to visit.”

“Of course she will,” Gordo said. “But I get it.” He paused. “I’ve been through the same thing.”

Tracy looked at him, furrowing her brow. “What do you mean?”

Gordo offered a small, wry smile. “After our divorce, and then when Danny was gone during his first year at the Naval Academy.” He shook his head. “Jimmy was still here, but I couldn’t help but think about what things would be like once he started college. Especially if it was out of state.”

Tracy nodded her understanding.

“I didn’t have a purpose of my own – I hadn’t been on a mission in nearly ten years – and I just felt kind of lost and lonely.”

Tracy frowned, softly saying, “I’m sorry, Gordo.”

He shook his head. “I brought most of it on myself.”

“Still,” Tracy said. “That doesn’t mean I’m happy that you were so upset.”

He smirked. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”

She chuckled softly. Then, her expression turned more serious again as she asked, “How are you doing with it now?”

“I’m okay,” Gordo said, and he meant it. “Going back to the moon – even as crazy and terrifying as that turned out – gave me a renewed sense of purpose. I feel more like my old self again. Yeah, I miss Danny when he’s gone. And I’ll miss Jimmy too, if he decides to go away for school. But I feel like I can handle it now.”

“You were always good at adapting to new and changing situations,” she said with a small smile. “I’m glad to see you’ve gotten that back.”

“Thanks,” Gordo said. “Me too.”

She reached out and took his right hand with her left, holding it on the couch cushion between them. He looked down at their intertwined fingers, noticing that her wedding ring was missing. His heart leapt for a moment. Of course, he already knew that Tracy and Sam had split up, but something about her no longer wearing her wedding ring made it feel more official to Gordo.

He took a deep breath and then looked up at Tracy, offering a small smile. After a few quiet moments, he said, “Speaking of new and changing situations…”

Tracy lifted her eyebrows in question.

Gordo lowered his gaze to their hands. He gently rubbed his thumb over her bare ring finger.

“Oh,” Tracy uttered. “Yeah.”

Gordo waited for her to continue, but she didn’t. Softly, he asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

She shrugged a shoulder, and he thought she was going to say no.

“I just figured I ought to give it back to him,” she said instead.

“But it’s yours, right?” Gordo said. “I mean, when you and I got divorced, you kept your ring.”

“That’s different.”

“Why?” Gordo asked gently. He was glad to hear it. Glad to know that she felt differently about him than she did Sam.

“Because you and I were married forever. Sam and I have only been married for about a minute and a half.”

“Mm. True. But it’s still yours.”

“It’s fine. I don’t mind giving it back.”

“Wait,” Gordo said. “Did he ask you to?”

“No. He wouldn’t do that. I just figured…” She trailed off and sighed, shaking her head.

“What?”

“I don’t know. You and I—We were married for so long. We had these boys together. We had a life together for a really long time.” She paused before adding, “Sam and I…” She looked at Gordo then. “It’s already over before it ever really started. I feel like this marriage between him and me—We never got a chance to really live it.”

Gordo nodded his understanding.

“You and me—We gave our marriage a real shot. Even after everything, we still tried.”

“Yeah,” Gordo whispered, eyes locked on Tracy’s.

“That’s not the case with me and Sam.”

“I get it,” Gordo said.

“I mean,” Tracy began, humor entering her voice. “It’s not that I wouldn’t want the ring. It’s gorgeous.”

“And massive,” Gordo said with a small smirk. “I’m surprised you could even lift your hand with that thing on it.”

Tracy chuckled. “Yeah, it was pretty big.”

“Did you pick it out?” Gordo asked.

“No. Sam did. I didn’t even know he was going to propose.”

“Right,” Gordo uttered. He recalled having found out about the proposal while watching Tracy’s talk show appearance months earlier. “So, if you had picked out a ring yourself…”

Tracy held his gaze for a long moment. “You already know what it would have been.”

Gordo smiled. “I do,” he said softly. “I know you very well.”

Tracy nodded. “And I know you.”

“Do you still have it?” Gordo asked. “Your first wedding ring.”

The corners of Tracy’s mouth turned upwards. “Do you still have yours?”

“Of course.” Gordo smiled. “It’s in the drawer beside my bed.”

“Jewelry box on my dresser,” Tracy said.

“Until Sam finds it and throws it out or sells it.”

“He wouldn’t do that,” Tracy said. “He’ll leave my stuff as it is until I go get it.”

“When will that be?” Gordo asked curiously.

“Not sure. Maybe this weekend. I don’t know. It feels too soon, but I really do need some of my stuff.”

Gordo nodded. “Well, let me know if I can help.”

“Thanks, Gordo,” Tracy said with a small smile as she squeezed his hand.

“You’re welcome.” He paused before changing subjects. “And in other new and changing situations,” he said.

Tracy eyed him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. “What now?”

He smiled. “Well, I sort of invited Ed and Kelly to stay here for a while.”

“Oh,” she said, surprise in her voice as though that wasn’t what she had been expecting him to say. “Okay.”

“He said he’ll think about it. But if they do come, it’s going to be kind of tight quarters, and I, uh—I guess I wanted to ask you how you felt about bunking with me again so that they can have Danny’s room.”

“Oh,” Tracy uttered again. “Do you think they’re going to be okay sleeping in Danny’s room with all this drama going on between him and Karen?”

Gordo shrugged. “I hadn’t really thought about that. Maybe we could have Jimmy move into Danny’s room instead, and Ed or Kelly could take Jimmy’s.”

“Oh, he’s going to love that,” Tracy said, her words laced with sarcasm.

“He’ll be okay,” Gordo said. He knew Jimmy wouldn’t be thrilled about moving out of his bedroom, but Gordo knew he would adapt as well. “But I understand if it’s weird for you,” he added, referring to Tracy bunking with him again. “I can, I don’t know, get an air mattress or something and sleep on the floor.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Tracy shook her head. “I’ve slept in your bed before. It’s not a big deal.”

He smiled. “Okay.”

“This was your plan wasn’t it?” she asked with a teasing smirk. “To invite Ed and Kelly to stay here so that you and I would have to share a bed again.”

Gordo chuckled. “No, but that would have been a good plan.”

Tracy laughed and squeezed his hand.

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 27 is up! ***

Chapter Summary: The day of the medals ceremony has arrived, and Gordo hopes that it will close the chapter on what happened on the moon. At the ceremony, Gordo is pleased to see a certain familiar face in the crowd.

Chapters: 27/? Fandom: For All Mankind (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gordo Stevens/Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin/Karen Baldwin Characters: Gordo Stevens, Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin, Danielle Poole, Danny Stevens, Jimmy Stevens, Karen Baldwin, Kelly Baldwin, Margo Madison, Molly Cobb, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, Sam Cleveland, Larry Wilson (mentioned), Wayne Cobb (mentioned), Ellen Wilson Additional Tags: Episode: s02e10 The Grey (For All Mankind), canon until it's not, Fix-It, fam - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Timeline, Jamestown - Freeform, El Gordo, Welcome Home Party, Gordo's weight loss, Injury Recovery, Fix It Fic, For All Mankind fix it fic, For All Mankind fix it, Michael Dorman, post season 2 fix it fic, Friendship, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Female Friendship, Established Relationship, weight loss, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Joel Kinnaman - Freeform, Marriage, Divorce, Therapy, Naval Academy, NASA, Ellington Air Force Base, Shamrock Hotel, PTSD, Medal of Honor, Couples Counseling, Defense Distinguished Service Medal, Presidential Medal of Freedom, Northwestern Series: Part 1 of For All Mankind Summary:

***FOR ALL MANKIND S1 & S2 SPOILERS AHEAD***

I just finished watching season 2 of For All Mankind for the first time, and I am in much need of a fix-it fic, so here it is.

Gordo & Tracy fix the nuclear reactor's coolant system and return to the Jamestown airlock. Everything after this is my alternate universe/timeline wherein they both survive and have a chance to face the world (& beyond) together again.

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 37 is up! ***

Chapter Title: A Spark and a Decision

Chapter Summary: Tracy confronts Karen about her affair with Danny.

And for those who would like to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

Tracy rapped her knuckles on the Baldwin front door. She hadn’t planned to show up there. Not at first, anyway. But then when Gordo had said that he was going to meet Ed for a drink at the Shamrock, Tracy got to thinking about Ed and Karen. And about Karen and Danny.

Karen and Danny.

They had slept together. Tracy didn’t know the extent of it. She didn’t know if there were real feelings on both sides. She knew that Danny was in love with Karen – or thought he was, at least. Tracy regretted not talking to Danny about it further. But she had wanted to give her son space. She knew he was embarrassed about the whole thing, but she should’ve pushed it. She should have gotten Danny to talk more about it.

She knew that Gordo had. He had talked to Danny about what had happened with Karen. And Gordo had shared a lot of it with Tracy. But it wasn’t the same as talking directly to her son. And Tracy knew she should have done that before Danny left.

Tracy just hoped that Danny would be able to move forward in Annapolis. She figured the time away would be good for him and help him get Karen out of his head.

Tracy still hadn’t been able to wrap her mind around it fully. That was why she had shown up. She needed answers. She needed to hear it from Karen. She needed to know why her best friend had had an affair with her son.

The door opened a few moments later. Karen stood on the other side of the threshold.

“Tracy,” she said, surprise in her voice. “Hi.”

“Karen,” Tracy said by way of a greeting.

“What’s—What are you doing here? We didn’t have plans, did we?”

“No,” Tracy said. “I just thought I’d stop by. Catch up.”

“Oh, okay.” Karen offered a smile as she moved aside and opened the door more. “Well, come on in.”

Tracy stepped inside and waited for Karen to close the door. Then, the two of them walked down the hall and into the living room, taking a seat on the couch.

“How are you?” Karen asked.

“Good,” Tracy said. Other than thinking about what had happened with Karen and Danny, it was the truth.

“That’s good,” Karen said. “The ceremony yesterday was incredible. Congratulations again.”

“Thank you.”

“Can I offer you a drink?” Karen asked. “Or something to eat?”

“No,” Tracy said. “No, thanks. I’m good.”

“All right. So, what’s new with you? The last time you were here, things were rocky with Sam.”

“Yeah,” Tracy whispered.

She had come over to talk about Karen and Danny. About what the two of them had done. About what Karen had done with Tracy’s son. But she hadn’t figured out what she wanted to say. She didn’t know where to start. Karen didn’t seem to know that Tracy knew anything about it. Karen was still acting like normal – acting like she always had in their friendship. Tracy assumed that, once it was out there – once Karen knew that Tracy knew about the affair – that things between them would change. And as upset as Tracy was about what happened, she also didn’t want to lose her friend.

So, instead of immediately confronting Karen about the affair with Danny, she engaged in the subject of Sam.

“That’s over,” Tracy said. She was leaning forward on the couch with her forearms resting on her knees. She looked down at her hands. She still wore her wedding ring.

“What?” Karen said, surprised. “I mean, I know you said you didn’t think you were in love with him anymore, but I didn’t realize things were going to end so soon.”

“Neither did I,” Tracy said.

“When…”

“Yesterday. After the ceremony.”

“Oh, Tracy,” Karen said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks.” Tracy sighed quietly, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. She wanted to give it back to Sam at some point. She wasn’t ready to see Sam again so soon after their breakup, but she was ready to be rid of the reminder that her second marriage had failed. She would take off the ring when she got home – well, her temporary home at Gordo’s – and give it back to Sam the next time she saw him. Whenever that would be.

“What’s the news with Gordo?”

Pulled from her thoughts, Tracy looked at Karen. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you said you’re still in love with him, right? That you always will be. Does that mean you two are going to get back together?”

“I don’t know,” Tracy said. “Not right now. I need some time to process what happened with Sam.”

“Are you still staying there? At your house?”

“Yeah. Well, my old house.”

“What?”

“Gordo’s,” Tracy clarified.

“You’re staying at Gordo’s?”

Tracy nodded.

“But nothing’s going on between you?”

Tracy shook her head. “I told him I wasn’t ready to think about another relationship just yet.”

“That makes sense. How did he take it?”

“Pretty good, I think. He’s just glad I’m staying at the house, with him and Jimmy.” Tracy paused. “But I know he’s hoping that we get back together eventually.”

“Of course he is,” Karen said. “Do you think you will? Eventually?”

“I’m not sure,” Tracy said. Then, with a smirk, she added, “You know him. Gordo Stevens has a particular kind of charm.”

“Yes,” Karen said.

Tracy looked at her, locking eyes. She found herself saying, “You know the Stevens appeal very well, don’t you?”

Karen furrowed her brow, searching Tracy’s eyes. She shook her head momentarily as though not understanding. But then she stopped, her eyes widening a bit.

“Oh, Tracy,” Karen whispered. She closed her eyes and lowered her head.

“You just weren’t going to tell me?”

Karen re-opened her eyes but didn’t meet Tracy’s. “I don’t know. It’s all been a little crazy lately.”

“Right.”

“I didn’t want to upset you. I knew it would, and I—I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Why did you do it?” Tracy asked.

“It wasn’t planned,” Karen said. She paused for a few moments before adding, “But it was a decision I made.”

Tracy waited, letting her friend explain. She wasn’t sure there was an explanation good enough for what Karen had done, but Tracy wanted to hear her out. She wanted to know exactly why it had happened. Why her son had had his heart broken.

“I swear, Tracy, I didn’t mean to hurt him. And it—Honestly, it wasn’t even about Danny.” She paused, seeming to gather her thoughts. “Ed and I—We haven’t been right for a while. We’ve been okay. We’ve gotten along. But somewhere along the way, I realized that I’m not entirely happy with the way our marriage has been going.”

“So, my son was a pawn in your marriage problems?”

“No,” Karen said quickly. “Well, not intentionally. I had never thought about Danny that way before. Ever. But then one night, we were at The Outpost late, closing up. We had the jukebox on, and we were dancing, and then he…”

“He, what?”

“He kissed me,” Karen said. Then, she quickly added, “I stopped it, and—and I left. Honestly, I thought that was the end of it. But then, days later, we were closing The Outpost again. He wanted to talk about it, but I didn’t. But then he was saying that he couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss, and I don’t know—He seemed to see me. And he liked me. And I hadn’t felt a spark like that in a long time.” She sighed softly. “And I don’t just mean romantically. I realized I hadn’t felt a spark in any way for a long time.”

“What do you mean?” Tracy asked.

“My whole life has been about Ed’s career. Our entire marriage has revolved around the Navy and NASA.” She paused. “After Shane died, I realized how ridiculous those rules were. How ridiculous it was for me to be the obedient, dutiful housewife, doing every single thing in furtherance of my husband’s career.” She looked at Tracy then. Softly, she said, “I know you know exactly what I’m talking about.”

Tracy did know. Before becoming an astronaut, that was exactly how Tracy had felt as well. That her entire life and marriage revolved around Gordo and his career. She had needed something of her own, and when the opportunity had presented itself, she had gone for it with everything she had.

“I never had that,” Karen said. “What you had. What you achieved for yourself back then. What you’re still achieving.” She paused again, still looking at Tracy. Her eyes glistened with tears. “You found something you’re good at. Something you love to do. And you’re doing it. You’ve been doing it for years.”

Tracy nodded, not interrupting.

“I thought I had that with The Outpost. At first, anyway. But over time, I realized that I was still living in this astronaut world. The Outpost is an astronaut bar. And maybe—maybe I’m meant to have a life revolving around that in some way. But I just feel like The Outpost isn’t it. I feel like it’s too connected to Ed. Too connected to his world.” She paused and inhaled deeply. When she let it out, she said, “I need something that is more mine. Something less connected to Ed. Even if that something does end up being space- or astronaut-related, I need something just for me.”

“I get that, Karen. I do. But what does that have to do with Danny?”

“Nothing,” Karen said. “Not really. Like I said, what we did wasn’t about him. It was about me. It was about me needing to feel happy again. It was about me needing to feel joy and to do something fun. Something that made me feel good about myself.” She paused before cautiously saying, “In that moment, I felt good. Danny was seeing me. Something Ed hadn’t done in a long time. Not really. And that felt nice. It wasn’t about it being Danny. It was about being seen. About feeling that spark. About feeling like something else was possible. Something more than a life revolving entirely around Ed’s career. So, I fueled it. I embraced that spark and let it make me feel like the world was possible. Like there were so many more options and opportunities out there.”

“I get what you’re saying,” Tracy began. “Trust me. You know I’ve been there. But Danny?”

Karen nodded, lowering her gaze again. “I didn’t realize how he felt. Honestly, I wasn’t really thinking too clearly in that moment. I was just feeling, and what we did was completely in response to that.” She paused before adding, “Believe me, Tracy, if I could undo it, I would. I didn’t know he had such strong feelings for me. I had no idea. I thought it was just a shared moment between friends, that’s all. It wasn’t until afterwards that I realized how strong his feelings were.”

“Are,” Tracy corrected. “How strong his feelings are.”

Karen nodded again but said nothing.

“He thinks he’s in love with you, Karen. And what you did—You really messed with his head and his heart.”

“I know,” Karen whispered. She looked up at Tracy again. At regular volume, she said, “I wish I could take it back. I never meant to hurt him, Tracy. I never meant for any of this to happen.”

“Does that mean you don’t have feelings for him?”

“I know he thinks he’s in love with me,” Karen began, “and maybe he is, in his way. But I don’t feel that way about him. Like I said, it was a decision I made in that moment. I let my desire to be seen and feel joy again cloud my judgment.”

“So, it really wasn’t about Danny?”

“Of course not.”

“So, you’re saying that if someone else – someone other than Danny – had been there that night, and they had made you feel joyous and seen, that you would have done that with them instead?”

“I don’t know,” Karen said. “Maybe. All I know is that it wasn’t about Danny at all. I don’t feel that way about him. I never have. I feel terrible that he has gotten hurt because I didn’t think through my actions.”

“Yeah,” Tracy said quietly. She didn’t know what else to say. She hated that Karen had hurt Danny. She hated that her son was confused and heartbroken. But she also understood where Karen was coming from because Tracy had been there herself. She hadn’t cheated because of it – no, Gordo had done enough of that – but she knew what it was like to feel unseen. To feel unappreciated. To feel like the spark had gone out in life. And she knew what it was like to have that spark rekindled. To feel happiness and excitement again. It was the way she had felt when becoming an astronaut. She had found something for herself, and she had jumped in headfirst. Tracy just hated that the spark for Karen – the thing she had jumped into headfirst – was an affair with Danny.

“I hope you can forgive me,” Karen said quietly. “But I understand if you can’t.”

Tracy nodded. She inhaled deeply, letting it out slowly. “I think I just need some time,” she said finally. “To sit with this for a while.”

“Okay,” Karen said. “I understand. Take as much time as you need.”

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 34 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Farewell

Chapter Summary: Seeing Danny off at the airport brings up some emotions for Gordo and Tracy.

And for anyone who wants to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

*******

“You know, you guys really didn’t have to bring me to the airport,” Danny said. “I could’ve taken a cab.”

“No way,” Tracy said, shaking her head and putting her palms to Danny’s cheeks.

“We wanted to be here,” Gordo added.

Danny looked at him as Tracy lowered her hands.

After everything they had all been through, Gordo wanted to spend as much time with his kids as possible. He knew that Tracy did too. Even if that meant they only spent an extra hour or so with their son, driving him to the airport and seeing him off at the gate, it was worth it. They would take all the extra minutes wherever they could get them.

“Yeah,” Danny said quietly. He smiled gently at Gordo, a look of understanding in his eyes.

Jimmy let out an audible yawn. When everyone looked at him, he smiled sheepishly, saying, “Sorry.”

Gordo smiled. He was glad that Jimmy had decided to join them after all. Despite Jimmy having to get out of bed earlier than he was used to, Gordo wasn’t surprised that he had made the trip to the airport with them. Gordo knew Jimmy was yearning for more time together, just like the rest of them.

“Thanks for coming,” Danny said. He set his duffel bag on the floor and gave his brother a hug.

“Yeah,” Jimmy said, returning the hug.

When they parted, Danny looked back and forth between his mom and Gordo. Softly, he said, “I’m glad you guys are home.”

Gordo’s eyes stung with tears.

“Come here, baby,” Tracy said, pulling Danny into a tight hug. She held onto him for a long time before finally releasing him. She swiped at her eyes.

“Don’t cry, Mom,” Danny said gently.

“Can’t help it.” Tracy smiled a little. “I’m just so proud of you. And I’m going to miss you.”

Danny offered a small smile. “I’m going to miss you too.” He looked at Jimmy and then Gordo. “All of you.”

Gordo nodded. His throat constricted, and he didn’t think he could speak if he tried. Instead, he pulled Danny into a hug, blinking back the tears that were stinging his eyes.

Danny hugged him tightly.

“Be good,” Gordo whispered around the tightness in his throat.

Danny nodded against his shoulder.

Gordo hadn’t expected to feel quite so emotional that morning. He was used to leaving. Used to being apart from his family. He had felt a little emotional when Danny had begun his first year at Annapolis, but most of that had been pride for his son. He had been proud of Danny for following his chosen career path. And, honestly, he had been proud that Danny had chosen to join the Naval Academy. He would have been proud of Danny no matter his chosen career, but something about Gordo’s kid following in his footsteps made Gordo’s heart swell with pride.

But now, Gordo’s emotional state had less to do with his pride for his son and more to do with the fact that their family was not going to be fully together again until Thanksgiving.

As many times as Gordo had been away from his family, he had never felt quite as emotional as he did that morning, seeing Danny off.

But he wasn’t surprised by it. After what had happened on the moon – after nearly dying with Tracy and leaving their kids alone – he valued time with his family more than ever.

He took a deep breath and finally released his son. A tear escaped his eye, rolling down his cheek. He swiped it away.

“Dad,” Danny said, in a soft, pleading tone. “Don’t you cry too.”

“Like your mom said,” Gordo began with a smile. “Can’t help it.”

Danny’s eyes glistened under the airport lights.

“I love you, kid,” Gordo said.

Danny inhaled sharply, blinking rapidly. Gordo thought he was trying to keep the tears at bay. Finally, he said, “I love you too.”

They all said their goodbyes, and then Gordo, Tracy, and Jimmy watched as Danny slung his duffel bag over his shoulder and disappeared down the jetway.

The three of them lingered in the terminal until Danny’s flight departed. They watched through the airport windows until the airplane became a speck in the distance and disappeared into the clouds.

***

Back home, Jimmy went to his bedroom, while Gordo and Tracy went out back. They sat in chairs around the unlit fire pit, and Tracy let out a heavy sigh.

“You okay?” Gordo asked.

“I’m exhausted. Seeing him off took it out of me.”

“Mm.” Gordo nodded. “Yeah. I’ve never—Never felt quite so…”

“Emotional?”

Gordo smiled. “Yeah. About being apart, anyway.”

“Yeah,” Tracy said quietly. She shifted in her seat to put her elbow on the back of the chair. She rested her head against her hand. “Me either.”

Gordo watched her. She did look exhausted. He felt a little bit of that himself. He hated that their family was separated again. He didn’t want them to separate any further.

Softly, he said, “Why don’t you stay?”

Tracy looked at him, eyebrows lifted in question.

“Here, I mean,” Gordo said. “Stay here with Jimmy and me.”

Tracy sighed softly, sitting up straighter. She was quiet for a few moments before saying, “I don’t know.”

“It will be hard enough with Danny gone now,” Gordo began. “If you leave too…”

Tracy smirked. “Are you trying to guilt me into staying?”

Gordo offered a small smile. “No. I just want you here. Jimmy does too.” He hadn’t talked to Jimmy about it, but Gordo knew it was true. It was clear that Jimmy wanted to keep their family physically together as much as the rest of them did.

“I don’t know, Gordo,” Tracy began. “Won’t that be kind of confusing?”

“For who?”

“For...everyone.”

“How so?” Gordo asked.

She looked at him for a long moment.

He waited.

“Because you want to get back together,” she said finally.

Gordo opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. He closed his mouth and nodded slightly. Then, he said, “I know it doesn’t mean we will.”

“Do you?” Tracy asked gently. She looked genuinely curious.

Gordo nodded again.

“Because I already told you that just because Sam and I are splitting up, it doesn’t mean I’m going to jump into another relationship anytime soon.”

“I know,” Gordo said. “That’s not why I’m asking you to stay.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” Gordo said. “Look, you need a place to stay, and Jimmy and I—We want our family together. It seems like an obvious solution.”

“Yeah,” Tracy said quietly. He knew it wasn’t in agreement, though. It was just her acknowledging what he was saying and trying to process it.

“One of us could take the couch,” Gordo said. “Or, now that Danny’s gone, you could sleep in his bed.”

Tracy was quiet for several moments, staring out at the ash and half-burned logs in the fire pit. Finally, she looked at Gordo again, saying, “Okay.”

Gordo smiled.

“I’ll stay here for a little while. Until I can find a place of my own, anyway.”

“Good,” Gordo said. “You can stay here as long as you want to, though. There’s no rush.”

“Just as long as you know that my staying here doesn’t mean anything more than that.”

“Got it.”

“I mean it, Gordo,” Tracy said.

He smiled gently. “I’ll be on my best behavior.”

“Yeah, well, that isn’t really saying much.”

He chuckled, and Tracy smiled.

[gordopickett]

This is what my screen looks like whenever I work on my FAM fix-it. My laptop wallpaper is Joe Pickett, but I always pull up Gordo pics when I work on my FAM fic. 😁👨‍🚀🚀🌖🥰

Plus a sneak preview of chapter 34 which will be posted in a few days.

Also, I just checked my word count for this fic. At 70,180 words, it is officially my longest ever fanfic (my previous longest fic was 62,776 words). 😊

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 32 is up! ***

Chapter Title: Keys to Happiness

Chapter Summary: When Gordo returns home for Danny's farewell dinner, he and Tracy talk about what happened at Ellington and her relationship with Sam.

And for anyone who wants to read the chapter here on Tumblr...

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Gordo had stopped by a bakery on his way back from Ellington. The cake was in a box next to his flight bag in the passenger seat as Gordo drove towards home. The sky was glowing pink and orange in the west, and he knew he would make it home just in time for Danny’s going-away dinner.

Gordo was relieved that he had been able to climb back into the cockpit of the T-38 and get back into the air. After his panic attack, he had been determined not to let his fear win. He had had to take a few deep breaths on the runway, but then he had taken off, back into the air. His mask had still made him uneasy. Beads of sweat had formed on his forehead and upper lip again, but he had embraced the fear. He had stopped fighting it. He had accepted that he was going to be uncomfortable, and he had let that anxiety fuel him.

Once they were both in the air, Ed had asked him a few times if he was okay. If he was still up for it. Gordo had assured Ed that he was. That he was a little nervous but that he was powering through it. He had worked through his fear, and he and Ed had engaged in more dogfighting.

When they were back on the ground, Gordo’s nerves had settled. Ed had seemed pleased that Gordo had faced his fear, and Gordo was proud of himself for having done that as well.

Gordo pulled into his driveway. He killed the engine and got out of his Corvette, leaving the top down. He grabbed his flight bag and the cake box from the passenger seat and went inside. As he walked through the front door, he smelled the heavy aroma of garlic. His mouth immediately began to water. He made his way to the kitchen, finding Tracy removing a pan of garlic bread from the oven.

“That smells delicious,” Gordo said.

Tracy set the pan on the stove beside a casserole dish of lasagna. She turned to look at him and smiled as she removed an oven mitt from her hand.

“Thanks,” she said, tossing the oven mitt on the counter.

“And you got the oven working again,” Gordo said. “You must have the magic touch because that damn thing never works properly for me.”

Tracy smirked. “Yeah. All I had to do was turn it on and to the correct temperature.”

Gordo grinned.

“I’m going to give you cooking lessons one of these days,” she said.

“It’s not me,” Gordo insisted with a chuckle. “It’s the damn oven.”

“Right,” Tracy said with an amused grin, shaking her head. “So, how was flying with Ed?”

Gordo smiled. “Mostly good.”

“‘Mostly?’” she asked, eyeing him curiously.

“Yeah,” he said. He walked over by her and set the cake box down on the counter and his flight bag on the floor.

She stared at him with her eyebrows lifted. He knew she was waiting for an explanation.

“I, uh—I had a little moment in the jet,” he said.

“'A little moment?'”

“You remember what I told you at Jamestown, about the first time I was up there?”

She nodded.

“About how I lost it and tried to take my helmet off while I was outside?”

“Yeah,” she said gently, watching him closely.

Gordo took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “What I haven’t told you yet is that before my last launch, I went through that again a couple of times. Not as severe, but…”

“What do you mean?”

“During training for Jamestown 91, I had a hard time in my suit. Every time they put my helmet on me, I panicked. I never did conquer that fear until—Well, until my launch. When Ed showed up, he helped me with it.”

Gordo paused, remembering how nervous he had been about putting on his helmet before his launch. Then, Ed had shown up to see him off. Ed had put Gordo’s helmet on for him, and something about that moment had calmed Gordo. It was as though Ed knew Gordo could do it. Ed had faith in him. And that belief that Gordo was fully capable of going back into space was what had settled Gordo’s nerves before his launch. It was what had made him realize that Ed was right – that Gordo could return to space and be okay.

“But there was a moment before that,” Gordo continued. “Do you remember when Ed and I went flying and he had to eject over the Gulf?”

Tracy lifted her eyebrows and nodded. “Yeah, I remember hearing about that.”

“Well, before we took the jets up—Before I left for Ellington, I was at The Outpost, watching wrestling with Danny. I, uh—I saw some ants on my Pepsi can, and I—Well, I lost it. I thought I was seeing things again, and it freaked me out.”

“Is that...what happened today?” Tracy asked. “You were seeing things?”

Gordo shook his head. “No, not exactly. I just—When I put on my oxygen mask…” He trailed off, sighing. “It was like I couldn’t catch my breath. I started sweating, and my hands were shaking on the control stick.” He paused and locked eyes with Tracy. “It was like I was back up there, Trace. Back on the moon. You and me. Running across the surface with our oxygen masks on.”

“Oh, Gordo,” Tracy whispered.

“That’s what it reminded me of,” Gordo continued. “And it just—It freaked me out.” He continued, telling her that, at first, he had thought he was having a heart attack and that the doctors had missed something. “But then I realized what it was.”

“What?” Tracy asked, watching him intently with concern in her eyes.

“When I was going to Dr. Marsten, he told me what it was. The shortness of breath, the shaking, the sweating, feeling lightheaded.” Gordo paused before saying, “He called it a ‘panic attack.’ Said it was sort of a new concept that psychiatrists were just beginning to understand.” Gordo paused and then softly said, “But the way he described it, Trace—It was like he was in my head.”

“I’m sorry, Gordo,” she said gently, frowning. “I didn’t realize that what happened up there was affecting you like this.”

Gordo shook his head. “I didn’t either, to be honest. I mean, it wasn’t. Not until today.”

“But you still went up in the T-38?”

Gordo nodded. He told her what had happened with the mask the first time climbing into the T-38. He told her about how he had calmed down and was fine during the dogfights with Ed. He told her about what Ed had said about having fifteen minutes of fuel remaining before they needed to head back and how that had triggered his memory about running on the surface of the moon with Tracy.

“I was panicking, Trace,” Gordo whispered. “Ed had to talk me down. I was finally able to land, but I felt like I was going to pass out when I got out of that cockpit.”

Tracy frowned but said nothing. She took his hand, squeezing it gently as she listened.

He squeezed her hand back and continued. “Ed and I—We talked a little bit. I told him all this—Everything that Dr. Marsten had told me about panic attacks. Then, I just—I didn’t want that fear to paralyze me, you know? So…” Gordo trailed off and offered a small smile. “So, we went back up.”

“What do you mean? You took the jets up again?”

Gordo nodded. “I was scared, but...like I told you at Jamestown, I am done running from my fear.”

Softly, Tracy said, “I’m sorry you went through that today, Gordo.” She gave his hand another squeeze. “But I’m proud of you for facing that fear.”

Gordo smiled gently and whispered, “Thanks.”

“Do you think you should start seeing your psychiatrist again?”

“Dr. Marsten retired a few years ago.”

“Right,” Tracy said. “But maybe a different one?”

“Mm. Maybe.”

“And I’m here for you too,” she said. “If you ever want to talk about what happened at Jamestown. Or anything else.”

“I know.” Gordo smiled. “Thank you, Trace.” He squeezed her hand. “And you know I’m here for you too.”

Tracy smiled. “I do.”

He nodded, searching her eyes. They still held hands. Gordo found himself saying, “You’re still my best friend, you know.”

Tracy’s smile widened. “Yeah,” she said softly. “You’re mine too, Gordo.”

Gordo’s stomach fluttered with nerves. He was a little surprised to hear her say that. After everything they had been through, he hadn’t been sure that she still felt that way.

“You ready to eat?” she asked, pulling him from his thoughts.

“I’m going to go change first and wash up.”

“Okay,” she said, letting go of his hand.

She still looked up at him, and he held her gaze. He took a deep breath, willing the butterflies in his stomach to settle.

“Okay,” he said quietly.

When she turned back to the stove, he picked up his flight bag from the floor and left the kitchen. He went to the bathroom to get cleaned up, and then he changed into a beige Ban-Lon polo and a pair of brown pants.

He had dinner on the back patio with his family, grateful to have them all there but a little sad that Danny would be leaving for another month and a half. But that was the nature of his chosen career. And as much as Gordo would miss his son, he was equally proud of him for doing what he loved and going after the career he wanted.

After dinner, Gordo asked, “Who wants cake?”

“You bought it, right?” Danny asked.

Gordo chuckled. “I did, yes.”

“Okay, then I’ll have a piece.”

“Me too,” Jimmy said.

“Yeah,” Tracy said. “Since you didn’t make it, I’ll give it a try.”

Gordo laughed, shaking his head. He went back into the kitchen to retrieve the cake and a knife. Returning to the patio, he cut the cake into rectangles, putting the pieces on plates and handing them out to his family. He cut a piece for himself – probably larger than he needed, but it looked so good – and sat down again.

They all sat around the table as they ate, talking and laughing. Gordo was very aware that it was their last night together for a while. He knew when Danny would be back, but he didn’t know about Tracy. He wondered if she would continue to visit as often, now that one of her sons would be away at school. He hoped so. But he could feel things changing. He could feel a shift in the air. He didn’t know what it meant, but he could feel that things were going to be different. He just wasn’t sure in what way or if the change would be good or bad.

The sun had been down for hours when Tracy said, “It’s getting pretty late.”

Gordo checked his wristwatch, seeing that it was a few minutes past eleven.

“Yeah,” Danny agreed. “I should probably turn in. I’m already packed, but I need to catch a cab early to get to the airport.”

“‘Catch a cab?’” Gordo said. “No way. I’ll take you.”

“Yeah,�� Tracy said. “Me too.”

“You guys don’t have to do that.”

“Don’t be silly,” Tracy said. “We want to. You’re our baby boy, and we’re going to see you off.”

“Don’t make it weird,” Danny said but then smiled.

Tracy smiled too.

“We’ll all go,” Gordo said.

Jimmy groaned quietly.

“You don’t have to,” Gordo said to his younger son. He turned back to Danny, saying, “But your mom and I will take you.”

“I’ll just say goodbye tonight,” Jimmy said.

Danny smirked. “You’d never make it in the Navy.”

“Good thing I don’t want to join the Navy then.”

They all got up from the table and cleared it, returning to the house. Gordo washed the dishes while Jimmy put away the leftover lasagna and garlic bread.

They all said goodnight, and the boys disappeared to their respective bedrooms. When Gordo and Tracy were alone in the kitchen, she turned to him.

“I should get going,” she said.

“You don’t have to. You can stay here, you know.”

“I don’t…” She trailed off, sighing softly.

“You don’t, what? You don’t want to?”

“It’s not that.”

“What?” Gordo prompted gently. “Sam doesn’t want you to?” He paused. “I guess I can understand that. If you were my wife again, I wouldn’t want you sleeping at his house either.”

She nodded slowly, staring somewhere past his shoulder. Her eyes were unfocused, and she wore a small frown.

“What is it?” he asked.

“Nothing. It’s…” She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

He furrowed his brow. “Come on, Trace. It’s not nothing.”

She sighed and then met his eyes. “Sam and I—We sort of ended things.”

Gordo’s lips parted and his eyes widened. He didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t even sure he had heard her correctly. “You...ended things?”

She nodded.

The butterflies returned to Gordo’s stomach. He hadn’t been expecting that. Not really. And not so soon. He didn’t know what that meant for him and Tracy, but he wasn’t about to ask. Her eyes glistened with tears, and he could see how upset she was.

“Come here,” he said, gently pulling her into a hug. “I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” she asked quietly, wrapping her arms around his waist.

“You’re upset,” he said. “Of course I’m sorry.”

She sniffled quietly against his chest but said nothing else. He rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head. She squeezed him around the waist.

“I really should get going, though,” she said.

“You’re going back there?”

She shook her head against his chest. “But it’s late, and I need to get a room at the Shamrock or somewhere.”

“No, Trace,” Gordo said. “You’re staying here.”

“Gordo—”

“The mother of my children isn’t staying at some hotel. Not when I have a perfectly good bed and couch right here.”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Tracy said, pulling back just enough to look up at him. “With our history...with...everything…”

“Look,” Gordo said. “Just stay tonight, okay? It’s late. We can work out the rest of it tomorrow.”

Tracy searched his eyes for a long moment. He waited for her to debate whether or not to stay. Finally, she sighed, saying, “Fine. I’ll stay tonight.”

He smiled. “Come on.” They parted, and he held out his hand. She took it, and he led her to the bedroom. “I know, I know,” he said as they entered the bedroom. “No funny business.”

She chuckled. “Yeah,” she agreed. “Just because Sam and I are done doesn’t mean I’m jumping into a relationship with you or anyone else.”

“‘Anyone else?’” Gordo said. “You have your eye on someone I don’t know about?”

“I don’t have my eye on anyone, Gordo. That’s my point.”

He nodded, watching her closely. Then, he walked over to his nightstand and opened the drawer. He reached in and pulled out a key ring with two silver keys attached to it. He closed the drawer and then turned back to Tracy.

“Here,” he said, holding out the key ring so that the keys dangled from it.

She hesitated, looking back and forth between Gordo and the keys.

“If you’re going to be staying here,” he began, “you ought to have these back.”

Tracy reached up and gently took the keys from him. He smiled as she softly said, “Thanks, Gordo.”

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 30 is up! ***

Chapter Summary:  After landing at Ellington, Gordo talks with Ed in the hangar about what happened in the air and what it means for both his physical and mental health.

[gordopickett]

Seven Sentence Sunday

I was tagged by @benwvatt yesterday, but I'm just getting around to this today. 😄

Tagging @sparkleplatypuswriter @katesofheaven @allatariel

@onekisstotakewithme @lacontroller1991 @violetmuses

@tiltedsyllogism & anyone else who wants to play! 😁

This is a snippet from "And If It's Not Okay..." (my For All Mankind post-season 2 fix-it fic). This is from chapter 29, which I plan to post on Ao3 sometime this week.

Gordo was sure Ed could hear his heavy breathing. Beads of sweat formed again on Gordo’s brow and upper lip. His face felt hot. His mask was suffocating him. His hand trembled on the control stick. His pulse pounded in his ears. Something was wrong.

[gordopickett]

And If It’s Not Okay... (For All Mankind post-s2 fix-it fic)

*** Chapter 24 is up! ***

Chapter Summary: Sam brings up Gordo, and Tracy reveals some truths that Sam doesn't want to hear.

Chapters: 24/? Fandom: For All Mankind (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Gordo Stevens/Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin/Karen Baldwin Characters: Gordo Stevens, Tracy Stevens, Ed Baldwin, Danielle Poole, Danny Stevens, Jimmy Stevens, Karen Baldwin, Kelly Baldwin, Margo Madison, Molly Cobb, Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, Sam Cleveland, Ellen Wilson (mentioned), Larry Wilson (mentioned), Wayne Cobb (mentioned) Additional Tags: Episode: s02e10 The Grey (For All Mankind), canon until it's not, Fix-It, fam - Freeform, Alternate Universe, Alternate Timeline, Jamestown - Freeform, El Gordo, Welcome Home Party, Gordo's weight loss, Injury Recovery, Fix It Fic, For All Mankind fix it fic, For All Mankind fix it, Michael Dorman, post season 2 fix it fic, Friendship, Male Friendship, Male-Female Friendship, Female Friendship, Established Relationship, weight loss, Hurt/Comfort, Healing, Joel Kinnaman - Freeform, Marriage, Divorce, Therapy, Naval Academy, NASA, Ellington Air Force Base, Shamrock Hotel Series: Part 1 of For All Mankind Summary:

***FOR ALL MANKIND S1 & S2 SPOILERS AHEAD***

I just finished watching season 2 of For All Mankind for the first time, and I am in much need of a fix-it fic, so here it is.

Gordo & Tracy fix the nuclear reactor's coolant system and return to the Jamestown airlock. Everything after this is my alternate universe/timeline wherein they both survive and have a chance to face the world (& beyond) together again.