#Red's rambling

[canonickero]

Also the sun is ALWAYS in his eyes. He is constantly blinded by the light. He must glare or he will die.

pony thinks steve hates him because steve is always giving him nasty looks but actually steve just has the most aggressive resting bitch face in the world

[canonickero]

Peso is just a liiittllleee bit short

[usoppinggg]

successfully got a vendor to lower the price of the items i bought today 😌 i think nami would be proud

[red-revival]

Yeah man just snap your skin like a rubber band thats. Sure alright

[temporalteardrop]

bass makes a dollar. i make a dime. that's why i think about lesbian sex on company time

[bitter-hibiscus]

Red Hood joins twitter. Chaos arises

pt2

[frownyalfred]

the batkids play the “what’s the most annoying injury you’ve ever had?” game but it’s lighthearted (“I broke both thumbs on a bad landing and couldn’t play video games for a month” “one time I got a cut on my leg that reopened every time I stood up” etc) until Bruce walks in. someone asks him the most annoying injury he’s ever had and he doesn’t even stop to think about it.

“Fracturing my spine.”

“Oh jeez,” Dick said, making a face. “Yeah, that’ll do it. That’s definitely…well, annoying isn’t the word I’d use.”

Bruce, expressionless: “Mostly because I couldn’t walk or complete other daily activities without assistance for an extended period of time.”

Dick, glancing at Jason. “Uh….huh.”

“What about that time Ivy hit you with that leaf and you couldn’t eat legumes for a year?” Jason asked, redirecting the suddenly maudlin group. “Wasn’t that more annoying?”

“Hmm.”

Tim leaned back, looking curious. “Just legumes?”

“Legumes,” Jason repeated, waving a hand. “It got ugly.”

“I’m not a huge fan of peanuts,” Bruce said, thoughtful.

“Yeah, no shit, I wonder why.”

[foldingfittedsheets]

Jobs don’t always limit the skills you learn to the job itself. For instance, when I worked at Red Robin, they’d offer 30 minutes for an unpaid lunch, or 15 if you wanted to get paid the whole time. If you think that’s extremely shitty join the club.

As a result of wanting money I got really good at eating quickly so I could use my break to read or relax. I’ve always been a fast eater but when I worked there I learned how to eat an entire burger and fries in under five minute while keeping up a conversation. This is not advisable for good digestion, eat slow and chew your food.

There’s a balance to not talking with your mouth full and eating extremely quickly and it was a regularly used skill for years. When I worked at a sex shop I bragged about it once to a coworker.

She watched me with a timer going after I told her about it and we got burgers. I chatted with her the whole time. I was done in four minutes forty seconds.

Afterward she looked haunted and commented, “It was like watching a snake unhinge it’s jaw but you never talked with food in your mouth!”

More recently my beloved and I were catching up with a friend over lunch. I had a sandwich while they’d gotten falafel plates. We were having a lovely chat but after I finished a story our friend said, “I don’t want your food to go cold while you talk!”

I was surprised. I’d been deliberately talking more so she could eat. I turned to show her my empty sandwich box. Both she and my beloved were stunned. It was like I’d performed a magic trick and made my sandwich disappear because neither had even noticed me demolishing it like a snake unhinging it’s jaw.

[canonickero]

In the beninging :3

Me: "Alright, you just said a thing that people don't like. You're probably gonna get a bunch of hate. Be prepared!"

"Oh boy here it comes. Block button ready!"

[littlefankingdom]

Bruce died(?) again

Jason: Well, it's my turn.

Dick: What are you talking about?

Jason: Everytime Bruce is gone, one of you starts to act just like him, pushing everyone away, acting as only you can be right, and fighting anyone that gets in your way. Dick did it, Tim did it, even Cass kind of did it. So, this time, I will do it.

Tim: Isn't that how you act all the time?

Jason: Whoa, fuck you. You are so banned from historical drama movie nights.

[ethosiab]

I see a lot of designs out there in which tango has red tinted glasses/goggles (mine included) but I don't think enough of us acknowledge how much that would affect his vision

[red-archivist]

SOMEONE APOLOGIES-JON'ED MY LOCAL BOOKSHOP'S POST-IT WALL i'm going to get you

[canonickero]

EVERYBODY STOP SCROLLING AND LOOK AT THIS

Okay thanks for looking

[usoppinggg]

finally figured out a way to make a plot point make sense for this usopp haki fic (yay) but now i have to scrap like 2k words and re-write it (boo)

[dreamingaboutsakuratrees]

[During a white elephant gifts exchange]

Steph: A metro card? no way!

Tim: From me! Unlimited rides

Jason: Oh, unlimited rides? Is that what your tramp stamp says?

Tim:

Tim: I was gonna get mad, but that was a damn good one

[bitter-hibiscus]

There's not a single thing you could say to convince me that Bruce and Tim are gothamites. Look at this fucking map

Bristol is so far removed from the heart of Gotham that there's quite literally no way it shares many, if any, cultural traits with Gotham. That's not even counting the insane wealth disparity that makes the ways of life (and therefore culture and habits and dialects and food) completely incomparable. Tim and Bruce aren't gothamites, they're Bristol brats, and I fully believe nobody in Gotham would accept them calling themselves gothamites. Especially with the size of the Wayne Estate.

Edit bc a lot of you are reblogging this base post instead of the additions in the notes: Turns out I am a victim of fanon and Tim only moved to Bristol after Bruce took him in. Tim can call himself a gothamite. Bruce cannot