#Reality Television

[buzz-the-cat]

Reality show where we strip billionaires of their wealth and force them to get a job with ONLY their prior work experience on their resume if they can actually “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” and earn a million dollars in a year they get their money back. If not all their assets are liquidated and they are eaten

[aziraphales-library]

Hii mods

I was wondering if you had any fics where azi and Crowley are on tv shows?

Like I’ve seen ones about them on strictly, would I lie to you, antiques roadshow, bake off, the office, but it’s super hard to find fics like that because I’m not aware of there being a specific tag for stuff like that ? (Apart from human Au ig).

Thank you for everything you do on here btw lol :))

Hello! We have an #actors au tag you might be interested in (which includes Slow Show, so there's no need to add it in the notes!). Here are some TV show fics outside of the ones you've already listed...

First dates by Amyk89 (M)

Do you know that reality TV show called First dates? This is a human au, where Aziraphale goes on that and meets bartender Crowley there. If you haven’t seen the show, it’s just about 2 people going on a blind date, then at the end of their first date, the host asks if they want to go on a second date. It’s super awkward. But just imagine how awkward it’ll be when you’ve been flirting with the bartender the whole night?

666 Heartbeats by AppleSeeds (T)

Aziraphale is a contestant on his favourite game show, 666 Heartbeats, where the amount of time he will have to answer the questions is dictated by how fast his heart is beating. If he wants to win big, he'll just have to stay calm. Easier said than done when he has an enormous crush on the host, who won't stop reassuringly touching him.

A Narrow Escape to the Country by shaggydogstail (T)

Crowley and Aziraphale appear as house hunters on BBC daytime institution, Escape to the Country. They are incredibly annoying. Sympathies, please, for the unlucky producer who is not getting paid enough to put up with their nonsense.

How to Win a Lifetime Achievement Award for Services to Television (and how not to) by GaryOldman (T)

Crowley hosts a late night comedy talk show. Aziraphale hosts a feel good morning talk show. When Crowley is asked to present Aziraphale with a lifetime achievement award, everything goes a bit skew-whiff. ----- Normally when I don’t get something that everyone else seems to be mad on my first point of call is the wonderful world of the internet, but we’ve had a falling out you see, the internet and I. Despite my many years as late night show host meets investigative journalist meets comic genius meets veritable sex god (though Wikipedia only acknowledges the first of these accomplishments, despite my many attempts at editing the listing) they have turned on me. I’m a gif. And a meme.

Dating in the Dark by miraworos (E)

Anthony J. Crowley, owner of a failing joke-shop, and Aziraphale, bookshop proprietor with an overbearing family, meet as contestants on a blind dating show. They form an instant connection as roommates but soon find themselves at odds as they compete to win the top spot, and the favor of the same lady.

Married at First Sight by Aracloptia (T)

“Well, that was a thing,” Crowley said once they were out of earshot. Without talking about it, they were both heading down the field, towards the lake where the photographer (and likely a few more people from the TV crew) was waiting. “That was a wedding,” Aziraphale replied, surprised at his own annoyance that somebody called a wedding a ‘thing’. “Yeah, obviously, didn’t miss that part,” Crowley said with a shrug, and waved abruptly in Aziraphale’s general direction. “Neither did you, from the looks of it, since you’re dressed like a wedding bride and everything.” “Excuse me, I am a—“ Aziraphale stopped himself, and started over. In which Aziraphale ends up marrying a rude stranger who wears sunglasses.

- Mod D

[lets-steal-an-archive]

The Apprentice was an instant success in another way too. It elevated Donald J. Trump from sleazy New York tabloid hustler to respectable household name. In the show, he appeared to demonstrate impeccable business instincts and unparalleled wealth, even though his businesses had barely survived multiple bankruptcies and faced yet another when he was cast. By carefully misleading viewers about Trump—his wealth, his stature, his character, and his intent—the competition reality show set about an American fraud that would balloon beyond its creators’ wildest imaginations.

I should know. I was one of four producers involved in the first two seasons. During that time, I signed an expansive nondisclosure agreement that promised a fine of $5 million and even jail time if I were to ever divulge what actually happened. It expired this year.

No one involved in The Apprentice—from the production company or the network, to the cast and crew—was involved in a con with malicious intent. It was a TV show, and it was made for entertainment. I still believe that. But we played fast and loose with the facts, particularly regarding Trump, and if you were one of the 28 million who tuned in, chances are you were conned.

As Trump answers for another of his alleged deception schemes in New York and gears up to try to persuade Americans to elect him again, in part thanks to the myth we created, I can finally tell you what making Trump into what he is today looked like from my side. Most days were revealing. Some still haunt me, two decades later.

[angelbambisworld]

Thinking about Gene and his mom

[wolfesco1]

Most items have free shipping in my shop! Check it out!

Xoxo

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Bill Prutt for Slate:

On Jan. 8, 2004, just more than 20 years ago, the first episode of The Apprentice aired. It was called “Meet the Billionaire,” and 18 million people watched. The episodes that followed climbed to roughly 20 million each week. A staggering 28 million viewers tuned in to watch the first season finale. The series won an Emmy nomination for Outstanding Reality-Competition Program, and the Television Critics Association called it one of the best TV shows of the year, alongside The Sopranos and Arrested Development. The series—alongside its bawdy sibling, The Celebrity Apprentice—appeared on NBC in coveted prime-time slots for more than a decade. The Apprentice was an instant success in another way too. It elevated Donald J. Trump from sleazy New York tabloid hustler to respectable household name. In the show, he appeared to demonstrate impeccable business instincts and unparalleled wealth, even though his businesses had barely survived multiple bankruptcies and faced yet another when he was cast. By carefully misleading viewers about Trump—his wealth, his stature, his character, and his intent—the competition reality show set about an American fraud that would balloon beyond its creators’ wildest imaginations.

I should know. I was one of four producers involved in the first two seasons. During that time, I signed an expansive nondisclosure agreement that promised a fine of $5 million and even jail time if I were to ever divulge what actually happened. It expired this year. No one involved in The Apprentice—from the production company or the network, to the cast and crew—was involved in a con with malicious intent. It was a TV show, and it was made for entertainment. I still believe that. But we played fast and loose with the facts, particularly regarding Trump, and if you were one of the 28 million who tuned in, chances are you were conned. As Trump answers for another of his alleged deception schemes in New York and gears up to try to persuade Americans to elect him again, in part thanks to the myth we created, I can finally tell you what making Trump into what he is today looked like from my side. Most days were revealing. Some still haunt me, two decades later. [...]

Now, this is important. The Apprentice is a game show regulated by the Federal Communications Commission. In the 1950s, scandals arose when producers of quiz shows fed answers to likable, ratings-generating contestants while withholding those answers from unlikable but truly knowledgeable players. Any of us involved in The Apprentice swinging the outcome of prize money by telling Trump whom to fire is forbidden. [...]

Trump goes about knocking off every one of the contestants in the boardroom until only two remain. The finalists are Kwame Jackson, a Black broker from Goldman Sachs, and Bill Rancic, a white entrepreneur from Chicago who runs his own cigar business. Trump assigns them each a task devoted to one of his crown-jewel properties. Jackson will oversee a Jessica Simpson benefit concert at Trump Taj Mahal Casino in Atlantic City, while Rancic will oversee a celebrity golf tournament at Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff Manor, New York. Viewers need to believe that whatever Trump touches turns to gold. These properties that bear his name are supposed to glitter and gleam. All thanks to him.

Reality is another matter altogether. The lights in the casino’s sign are out. Hong Kong investors actually own the place—Trump merely lends his name. The carpet stinks, and the surroundings for Simpson’s concert are ramshackle at best. We shoot around all that. Both Rancic and Jackson do a round-robin recruitment of former contestants, and Jackson makes the fateful decision to team up with the notorious Omarosa, among others, to help him carry out his final challenge. [...]

Trump will make his decision live on camera months later, so what we are about to film is the setup to that reveal. The race between Jackson and Rancic should seem close, and that’s how we’ll edit the footage. Since we don’t know who’ll be chosen, it must appear close, even if it’s not.

We lay out the virtues and deficiencies of each finalist to Trump in a fair and balanced way, but sensing the moment at hand, Kepcher sort of comes out of herself. She expresses how she observed Jackson at the casino overcoming more obstacles than Rancic, particularly with the way he managed the troublesome Omarosa. Jackson, Kepcher maintains, handled the calamity with grace. “I think Kwame would be a great addition to the organization,” Kepcher says to Trump, who winces while his head bobs around in reaction to what he is hearing and clearly resisting. “Why didn’t he just fire her?” Trump asks, referring to Omarosa. It’s a reasonable question. Given that this the first time we’ve ever been in this situation, none of this is something we expected. “That’s not his job,” Bienstock says to Trump. “That’s yours.” Trump’s head continues to bob. “I don’t think he knew he had the ability to do that,” Kepcher says. Trump winces again.

“Yeah,” he says to no one in particular, “but, I mean, would America buy a n— winning?” Kepcher’s pale skin goes bright red. I turn my gaze toward Trump. He continues to wince. He is serious, and he is adamant about not hiring Jackson. Bienstock does a half cough, half laugh, and swiftly changes the topic or throws to Ross for his assessment. What happens next I don’t entirely recall. I am still processing what I have just heard. We all are. Only Bienstock knows well enough to keep the train moving. None of us thinks to walk out the door and never return. I still wish I had. (Bienstock and Kepcher didn’t respond to requests for comment.) Afterward, we film the final meeting in the boardroom, where Jackson and Rancic are scrutinized by Trump, who, we already know, favors Rancic. Then we wrap production, pack up, and head home. There is no discussion about what Trump said in the boardroom, about how the damning evidence was caught on tape. Nothing happens.

We attend to our thesis that only the best and brightest deserve a job working for Donald Trump. Luckily, the winner, Bill Rancic, and his rival, Kwame Jackson, come off as capable and confident throughout the season. If for some reason they had not, we would have conveniently left their shortcomings on the cutting room floor. In actuality, both men did deserve to win. Without a doubt, the hardest decisions we faced in postproduction were how to edit together sequences involving Trump. We needed him to sound sharp, dignified, and clear on what he was looking for and not as if he was yelling at people. You see him today: When he reads from a teleprompter, he comes off as loud and stoic. Go to one of his rallies and he’s the off-the-cuff rambler rousing his followers into a frenzy. While filming, he struggled to convey even the most basic items. But as he became more comfortable with filming, Trump made raucous comments he found funny or amusing—some of them misogynistic as well as racist. We cut those comments. Go to one of his rallies today and you can hear many of them.

If you listen carefully, especially to that first episode, you will notice clearly altered dialogue from Trump in both the task delivery and the boardroom. Trump was overwhelmed with remembering the contestants’ names, the way they would ride the elevator back upstairs or down to the street, the mechanics of what he needed to convey. Bienstock instigated additional dialogue recording that came late in the edit phase. We set Trump up in the soundproof boardroom set and fed him lines he would read into a microphone with Bienstock on the phone, directing from L.A. And suddenly Trump knows the names of every one of the contestants and says them while the camera cuts to each of their faces. Wow, you think, how does he remember everyone’s name? While on location, he could barely put a sentence together regarding how a task would work. Listen now, and he speaks directly to what needs to happen while the camera conveniently cuts away to the contestants, who are listening and nodding. He sounds articulate and concise through some editing sleight of hand.

Then comes the note from NBC about the fact that after Trump delivers the task assignment to the contestants, he disappears from the episode after the first act and doesn’t show up again until the next-to-last. That’s too long for the (high-priced) star of the show to be absent. There is a convenient solution. At the top of the second act, right after the task has been assigned but right before the teams embark on their assignment, we insert a sequence with Trump, seated inside his gilded apartment, dispensing a carefully crafted bit of wisdom. He speaks to whatever the theme of each episode is—why someone gets fired or what would lead to a win. The net effect is not only that Trump appears once more in each episode but that he also now seems prophetic in how he just knows the way things will go right or wrong with each individual task. He comes off as all-seeing and all-knowing. We are led to believe that Donald Trump is a natural-born leader.

Through the editorial nudge we provide him, Trump prevails. So much so that NBC asks for more time in the boardroom to appear at the end of all the remaining episodes. (NBC declined to comment for this article.) [... So, we scammed. We swindled. Nobody heard the racist and misogynistic comments or saw the alleged cheating, the bluffing, or his hair taking off in the wind. Those tapes, I’ve come to believe, will never be found.

No one lost their retirement fund or fell on hard times from watching The Apprentice. But Trump rose in stature to the point where he could finally eye a run for the White House, something he had intended to do all the way back in 1998. Along the way, he could now feed his appetite for defrauding the public with various shady practices. In 2005 thousands of students enrolled in what was called Trump University, hoping to gain insight from the Donald and his “handpicked” professors. Each paid as much as $35,000 to listen to some huckster trade on Trump’s name. In a sworn affidavit, salesman Ronald Schnackenberg testified that Trump University was “fraudulent.” The scam swiftly went from online videoconferencing courses to live events held by high-pressure sales professionals whose only job was to persuade attendees to sign up for the course. The sales were for the course “tuition” and had nothing whatsoever to do with real estate investments. A class action suit was filed against Trump.

That same year, Trump was caught bragging to Access Hollywood co-host Billy Bush that he likes to grab married women “by the pussy,” adding, “When you’re a star, they let you do it.” He later tried to recruit porn actor Stormy Daniels for The Apprentice despite her profession and, according to Daniels, had sex with her right after his last son was born. (His alleged attempt to pay off Daniels is, of course, the subject of his recent trial.) In October 2016—a month before the election—the Access Hollywood tapes were released and written off as “locker room banter.” Trump paid Daniels to keep silent about their alleged affair. He paid $25 million to settle the Trump University lawsuit and make it go away. He went on to become the first elected president to possess neither public service nor military experience. And although he lost the popular vote, Trump beat out Hillary Clinton in the Electoral College, winning in the Rust Belt by just 80,000 votes.

Trump has been called the “reality TV president,” and not just because of The Apprentice. The Situation Room, where top advisers gathered, became a place for photo-ops, a bigger, better boardroom. Trump swaggered and cajoled, just as he had on the show. Whom would he listen to? Whom would he fire? Stay tuned. Trump even has his own spinoff, called the House of Representatives, where women hurl racist taunts and body-shame one another with impunity. The State of the Union is basically a cage fight. The demands of public office now include blowhard buffoonery.

Bill Pruitt wrote in Slate that Donald Trump used the N-word on the set of NBC's The Apprentice in 2004 when referring to a Black contestant (Kwame Jackson)'s chances of winning the competition by saying "would America buy a n***er winning?"

This is yet another example of Trump's long record of anti-Black racism that dates back to the 1970s.

[oksurethisismyname]

What reality television are the strawhats watching?

Luffy: he doesn’t have a huge attention span for much that isn’t related to his dreams or food. That being said, he’ll let Family Feud run in the background while he’s doing something else and randomly say the #1 answer anytime he pays attention. It’s kind of freaky how he does that

Zoro: normally not one for reality TV, get Zoro a few drinks in and he’ll watch American Ninja Warrior. He laughs when people fall and critiques their form

Nami: she actually went on Price is Right and won! They did, however, “slum dog millionaire” question her about whether or not she was cheating somehow

Sanji: you’d think he’d watch the bachelor and fantasize about it being him, but NOPE. Dating shows make him sad because how could anyone send home such a lovely lady!!! He’ll watch the bachelorette, though, and if you listen to his commentary you might hear him talking about which man he would choose

Ussop: bless his heart, most reality tv shows give him anxiety. Competition??? By choice???? Ummmmm no thanks. Until he sees Lego Masters, which is now his favorite show because it’s fun and the engineering feats he is realizing can be done with legos are incredible

Robin: surprise surprise, she loves Jeopardy. She tried getting on Jeopardy but something about her calm demeanor and unblinking eyes didn’t screen test well…

Chopper: Chopper loves watching the kids baking challenge. Sweets? Yes please. Kind adults? Yes! Adorable kids? Win win win!

Franky: Franky likes watching the Great British Bake Off and he cries when the old people get sent home

Brook: he’s watching American Idol, the Masked Singer, and the bachelor (he does not have the same hang ups as Sanji). He likes having the TV on when he’s home alone so it’s easy to watch and keep up with multiple shows.

Together: when they all get together, there are two shows they’ll watch. It’s either Survivor, which everyone thinks they’d be winning, or Say Yes to the Dress. Say Yes to the Dress gets ROWDY. Luffy and Zoro are talking about how garbage the mother in law is , Ussop, Sanji and Nami are talking about if the dress is reaaaaally worth 10k, Robin is psycho analyzing everyone, Chopper is crying because one of the brides is a cancer survivor, Franky is crying because love is so special, and Brook is watching all his friends just happy to be there.

[thewrittenpodcast]

me going into any show: I'm not gonna get invested

me by the second episode: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT HIM HES ALL WRONG FOR YOU NOOOOOOOO

[clustermuck]

I'm still envious of people who can watch the Great British Bake Off. it's too high stress for me...you bring in wonderful, talented people and have me root for each one and then tell me I have to say goodbye to one each week?

Nah man. This is why I need reality TV with assholes. When you get voted off the island, I need to be like "good riddance bitch"

[nortism]

i hateeee that reality dating shows are trying to do queer representation. i am here to observe heterosexuals like i’m on a safari. if i wanted to see dykes tearing lumps out of each other, id log into tumblr.com

[thatuselesshuman]

Introducing...

Big Back Bachelorette!

Where people who love food more than themselves try and find love, one meal at a time.

Starring, Caseoh-

[agaypanic]

i should be on a reality tv show. i’m pretty, and a little evil

[angelbambisworld]

Man, I love watching The Osbournes I wish British people were real

[best-chaotic-neutral]

So I’ve written a bit of the Seed family reality tv show if y’all would be interested in reading a bit of it. If it were a Netflix series I’d watch the shit out of that. Feel free to comment and add your own thoughts on what scenes would be in it, I’d love to chat

[texaschainsawmascara]

2girls1bottl3

[tel3vangelism]

whether Scheana punched Raquel was my OJ Simpson glove moment inverse