#Rambling in the dark

[thisismenow3]

Ever scroll past a post and catch a stray as it reads you for filth?

maybe filth ain’t the right word, but then again this about to be some catholic ramblings. Post I saw in question was talking about how forgiveness for someone who already feels bad about what they’ve done can be a punishment since they feel in their bones they HAVE to be punished. And it felt off.

My immediate thought was “ha, I know from experience it ain’t the forgiveness that gets that kind of person, the forgiveness is just salt in the wound. The wound is that you can’t forgive yourself until you feel punished enough and that happens regardless of the person accepting your act(s) of contrition or not.” Bruuuuuuuuuuuuu! The fucking strange combo of epiphany and misery and scrambling to not feel like this still applies to my own psyche was intense. There’s got to be a word for it. Probably is one in German. I’ve been at a stage in life for long enough now to wonder if the Catholic upbringing I had was really the source of this pathway in my brain. Cause I didn’t grow up in a region with many Catholics, past an early age didn’t associate with many, and my mom did a lot better than the tripe you see of American Catholic guilt. Her relying on guilt when she did honestly didn’t seem to far off the mark for most parents trying to get their kids to see making things right as a responsibility. And I don’t know other people’s minds on this but it doesn’t seem like the bit of guilt she pointed out did it all or started it. Maybe there is something to the people who say that guilt based anything in parenting is a poisoned apple like spanking in a way.

But it seems like some kids internalize things as their fault that ain’t at an early age, and those are the kids and teens and adults I’ve met who also thought this way. Who, when they internally came around to realizing their wrongs done, just self castigate in their head over and over and are upset with themselves long past the wronged party regardless of if it was made right or not.

I try to just tell my kid that it’s easy to say sorry and that there are always ways to make things right. So as long as you do those two things you’re good to go. When I have moments like the “oh no this ain’t still a problem fuck I’ve been better I can be rational and good without being extreme in how I view myself and internal self talk and setting overblown benchmarks for proving my contrition,” I realize we never truly get past things. Just like we have never truly “learned” in an over and done way. We will always have times when we go “well shit, I guess I forgot about this and had to learn it again, even tho I still kind of academically knew it.” Being a parent means having this all the time “you can’t beat yourself up cause you didn’t do perfectly. What do we say?””dont let perfect get in the way of being better” (crap, I need to apply this in my own damn head for ___ situation!!!)

Life is strange

[hoshizoralone]

reflection

[biocrafthero]

ANATOMY (2016)

[calmlb]

“Chuuya wasn’t in Dark Era, why is he in this art??”

wdym, he’s right here 🤨

[darkstalker1247]

This was the first thing I thought of ignore how bad it looks

NOT SPOILERS

[dreamyblanket]

Yearning from the nothing dimension [rambling in tags ^^]

[moonsinkfoxgirl]

people who are afraid of poison swamps in souls games have never had a strong pollen allergy, "OH NO the toxic air is making my hp drop continuously, leaving me badly prepared for enemy encounters unless I continuously use medicines" you are describing a trip to the grocery store in June

[frownyalfred]

The Robins are all, by nature and upbringing, independent and self-reliant. They want to prove that they can handle their own bad guy, even without Batman. And most of the time, they can.

Every now and then, though, there’s a bad guy who gets a lucky hit in, or times a hostage-taking situation just right. And Robin, instead of being terrified, gets to sit back and watch the beauty of a pissed-off Batman come in and take over.

Sometimes, pure joy isn’t drop kicking a bad guy in the face. Sometimes, pure joy is standing there and watching Batman introduce the guy’s face to seventeen new surfaces all in a row. It’s watching as the hand that hit you gets broken into a dozen pieces. It’s knowing that not only will Bruce handle this, he will make it hurt.

[gremlingirlsmell]

me: i think they should make something like an airfryer but it uses water. some kind of, water fryer

the alluring skull:

[juniemunie]

[Abandoned by the Lightners, his heart became cracked with hatred.]

Hitting a lil' too close to home?

[thisismenow3]

Life is always half work and half luck

Any kind of progressivism in my beliefs has so much to do with the flukes of fate in my upbringing. I wanted to be better but would I have found the way as a religious kid if I didn’t have a very left leaning fransican priest running Bible study and masses? If the other half of my church experience wasn’t in a historically black church would I be able to believe as I do or would I just see religion and faith as only a poisoned apple? It def seems like in most white churches in America Catholic or otherwise this kind of can be the case. But not having my father in my life to much things up, and the people I had in churches and school and martial arts, being these exceptional people both men and women… being born and raised in the south but my mom and the family that claims me being from the north. Being Christian but not Protestant in the Bible Belt. Could I be the leftist I’ve become as an adult just through my desire to be better and find the righteous way? Hard work always has to be there, but luck rules so much as the beginning and end of what’s possible. Making your own luck is often just a euphemism for power or being diligent in your hard work as you wait for luck to finally come in. I hope I can not only raise people to be better than myself, I hope I can be part of the luck for other boys and even men, for white people, for believers in pushing toward the truly righteous. We should always keep pushing up that hill

[lazylittledragon]

look i know the logical thing is that shadowheart used magic to change her hair but i still think it would be extremely funny if she only got a partial rest at the end of act 2 from staying up all night doing a full level 10 bleach and tone

[orionshounds]

the choice for shadow to have softer brown eyes that only turn that vibrant red when he's using his powers is SOOOOO peak

[littlefankingdom]

This man (Bruce) is so abnormal about parenthood and so intense about his love for Dick. "He's not my son, he's more than that" Son is not a strong enough word for what Dick is to him. And the last panel being Oliver with Roy, which is later, implying that Oliver finally understood wtf was Bruce talking about when he got Roy, being like "wtf does his weird bs make sense?!?"

But also, a part of it may come from how Dick wasn't comfortable with becoming Bruce's son, so Bruce got used to immediately correcting people when they called him his father or Dick his son because he doesn't want Dick to overhear it and be hurt (a lot of people in the fandom seems to forget that it was Dick who did not want to be adopted and who was against Bruce being his father. Of course, that changed with time, but Bruce respecting that is great and not "bad parenting". A foster parent should never force a kid to accept them as their father/mother)

[shisasan]

There’s nothing like books waiting to ruin you completely, stories that tear you apart only to leave you more whole than before.

[beatrixblog]

I did the annoying pigeon meme..but with cookies….aaaaa