#RODIMUS YOU LITTLE SHIT

[kairukitsuneo]

Gremlin Rodimus shenanigans 💥💢💫⚠️

[transingthoseformers]

How badly is Getaway’s ass getting kicking for killing Rodimus? How’s that mutiny holding up afterwards? Oh and Cybertron, what’re their thoughts?

Results vary but most rhyme with "very"

Whether it's by one or more of the protagonists or antagonists

[tinydefector]

Do you think cybertronians ever get a bit freaked out on how tough we are? Yes they can break us like toothpicks but humans seem to be able to take a good beating as well with adrenaline helping. Even our own body and oxygen trys kills us and yet we stick around like roaches. We're fragile in some reasonable and dumb ways and then resilient in the most dumbest ways.

Oh definitely, alot of the bots are very off put by how fragile humans are just in general and tend to avoid them.

But then there's the moments like Ratchet working a late shift and a small knock on the door alerts him someone's there, he turns around expecting it to be Rodimus or Whirl who he's about to scold but instead it's one of the humans and they look worse for wear. After fussing over them for a moment, detailed scans relay fractured ribs, a broken collar bone, and a heap of bruises and yet the humans just like. "Can I have some Panadol, Nurophen, and a glass of water?" Because they don't know what else to do its what they would get. Most of the times they ended up in the hospital. Ratchet is losing his God dawn mind as he rushes around looking for the best painkillers he can find for orgaincs in the smallest dosage he can give, hoping to primus it doesn't shut their heart down. In the end, they end up on a medication that makes them extremely drowsy, almost like the green whistle/ Weed.

Ratchet ends up doing alot of study on the human body and realises just how fucked up little monsters we are. We literally need oxygen to survive but he we have to much pure oxygen it will kill us. Water, we need a certain amount of it, if we don't have enough we will get dehydrated and die, if we have to much we will get water poisoning, intoxication, or a disruption of brain function. This happens when there's too much water in our cells, such as the brain and blood cells, causing them to swell. When the cells in the brain swell, they cause pressure in the brain, resulting in death. The issue is that it can become an addiction to drinking too much water for the effect it has on the body. Same with nearly everything we consume, it can kill us, but we need a lot of it in moderation.

Human: "I just need some basic pain killers and a nap"

Bot: "No, you need full surgery, sedations, and 3 weeks of recovery!"

Human: "nah she'll be fine!"

Bot: "Absolutely Not, bed now before I cuff you"

____________

Following that imagine a first contact AU where Cybertronians and humans are just slowly getting to know how the other works and next thing a human is kneeling over in horrific pain and it send the bots all into panic mode trying to help them, wondering what's happening and thinking they are dying. And the human after about ten minutes some pain killers still looking rather pale and unhealthy just go. "Sorry about that fuck I hate, Cramps/palpitations/ phantom pains/ and such" and the bots are just looking at them horrified like.

Bot: NOT NORMAL!!!"

Human: what you talking about?

Bot: everything that just happened you literally just short circuited!

Human: nah that's causal wait till you see the really funky shit.

______________

Human pet AU

Cybertronian's keeping humans as pets is like humans keeping hamsters. Humans are some of the most homicidal, suicidal and just deranged creatures that Cybertronian's could keep as pets. It's gotten to the point that they are a luxury/ exotic pet because if you do not feed them the right stuff, give them the right amount of light and socialising, and they will just die. There are so many Cybertronian's who take their human into clinics worried as and its just the human being a little bustard because they didn't get the treat they wanted 2 weeks ago and are still holding that grudge. Not to mention, we are prone to causing as much trouble and issue. We are like cats.

But we are also very easily sick and primus forbid a human gets sick because to a bot they think it's a death sentence for their sweet little spitfire of a human who they have had now for ages. And the human looks ready to die, and the next day, they are up and about like nothing ever happened.

Human: if you don't feed me the meals I want I'm going to pretend to die. If you do feed me what I want I might actually die because I shouldn't be eating it.

Panicked bot: "MY HUMAN HAS GOTTEN SICK. HELP!?!"

Human: totally worth it.

_________

In conclusion, the cybertronians are rather wary/ concerned about how resilient humans really are.

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[pinkanonwrites]

Leona getting locked out of his dorm on a rainy day or Ultra Magnus reprimanding Rodimus for his seventh missing report that was due orns ago

I went with Leona getting locked out of his room on a rainy day because, well, it was really funny to me!

"I'm home!.....? Hi, 'boyfriend who doesn't live here.'"

Leona lifted his head up from the living room sofa, blinking sleepily at you. You forced the front door shut with your foot, shifting your weight to heft the grocery bags further up your hips and keep everything from crashing to the floor.

"Put those on the kitchen table, Ruggie'll take care of them."

"And why, pray tell, is Ruggie also in my house?"

"Who do you think picked the lock?"

"Touché." Making your way to the kitchen, you found Ruggie standing in front of your stove, wearing your apron, frying your fancy ham that you bought only for your favorite sandwiches. He perked up as you entered, nearly pouncing upon your groceries the moment you set them down.

"Finally! Yer out of eggs, y'know."

"Hey 'boyfriend's gofer who also doesn't live here.' What the hell are you two doing in Ramshackle? And why are you eating my food?"

"Relaaaaax! Just ask Leona about it, he'll pay you back." He seamlessly cracked two eggs in one hand, dropping them into a second pan on the stovetop and chucking the shells in the trash. "One of the first-years went home for winter break, and his little sister had..." Ruggie paused, a visible shudder crawling up his spine. "Fleas. Brought 'em back on accident, so now we gotta evac while the profs' smoke 'em out. Just be thankful we didn't bring half of the dorm with us. Leona wanted his 'beauty rest.'"

You made a sympathetic, yet disgusted noise in the back of your throat. "Bummer. Where's Jack?"

"Bunking with Epel for a bit. Apparently Vil already went over him with a fine-toothed comb."

You snorted at the mental image of Vil manhandling the first-year into a medicated bath. "Alright, you better make enough for four though. Maybe five, considering Grim and Leona's appetites. I'm gonna start on my homework."

"Save it." You startled as Leona appeared silently behind you, draping his weight across your shoulders. "I've had a long day. Too long. Need my stress ball for a bit." He gave you a warning squeeze.

"Am I your stress ball or your body pillow?"

"Gross."

"Zip it, Ruggie." Leona muttered, already dragging you away back to the sofa.

'Wait! Let me at least get my textbook first! Leona!"

"Well shit, looks like gravity is increasing on me. We may not even make it back. Guess we just gotta lay here."

"LEONA!"

[in1-nutshell]

Concept, mtmte Megatron accidentally adopts young human buddy.

Like there's basically just a teenager on the lost light, and because teenagers have no fear of death, they go out of their way to interact with the ex-warlord.

Time goes on, and eventually, when Megatron realizes the dynamic he has, he goes into a typical angsty brooding session. Bonus points if it has Brooklyn 99 energy of Peralta accidently calling holt 'dad' energy.

I really do enjoy your blog because a lot of the stuff is either platonic or familial, and that's my favorite shit. Hope you have a good day and drink water.

Thank you for the compliment! I have been drinking water and been having a pretty decent day. Now, Human Buddy who knows no fear is about to strike the fear of their well being upon others! Megatron is their prime target...

Hope you enjoy!

Megatron 'accidentally' adopting human Buddy who fears nothing

SFW, familial, platonic, mentions of injuries but nothing graphic or in details, Human reader

MTMTE/LL

Oh, Buddy starts off as the bane of his existence.

Buddy joins the lost light before the events of Delphi happen. Meaning they have been dealing with everyone’s problems since a little over day one.

Let’s give Buddy some context.

By sheer luck, Buddy managed to enter the Cybertronain/ Human Liaison program and was now the proud representative in the Lost Light.

Many bots on the Lost Light thought that this would be a little liaison and would be a bit fearful of the hulking giants around them or some sleazy politician. Some were just curious as they had never seen a human until that moment.

Rodimus is preparing for a Prowl like or Magnus like person to board the bridge. That’s usually who they send when it comes to relations, except Marrisa Fairborn, she was an exception.

At first Buddy did come off as someone overly polite… that was soon going to change.

“Welcome Buddy aboard the Lost Light.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you, Ultra Magnus sir.”--Buddy

“And I will be your Captain! The names Rodimus Prime.”--Rodimus

“Well, I’m just Buddy. Sorry but I should be entering my room now before take-off. Thank you again for the introduction sirs. I hope to find you soon?”--Buddy

“Absolutely, we will start the meeting in an hour in the meeting room down your hall.”—Ultra Magnus

“Thank you.”--Buddy

“…Great another stick in the mud…”--Rodimus

“Oh, hush they seem like a nice human.”—Ultra Magnus

A week later

“Hey Rodimus, I bet you can throw me into that mattress over there.”--Buddy

“Oh? You’re on!”--Buddy

“I have the reports ready—OH SWEET PRIMUS! BUDDY!”—Ultra Magnus

Timeskip

“So let me get this straight… You bet Rodimus, one of the most impulsive and childish bots on bourd—”--Ratchet

“Hey!”--Rodimus

“To THROW you across the room to a small mattress and it didn’t occur to you that you could bounce off the mattress!?”--Ratchet

“Well at least all the blood is internal right? That’s were the blood is supposed to be?”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

“Oh Primus…”—Ultra Magnus

“Oh, Primus indeed.”--Rodimus

Buddy does not know what ‘self-preservation’ is. Its not in their vocabulary. Ratchet has lost count of the amount of times that Buddy has come in the med bay with an injury that was caused by some atrociously dumb plan.

“Alright… what’s the damage today? Whirl brought you in this time so it must be bad.”—Ratchet

“Rude.”—Buddy and Whirl

“Well, I’m waiting. What happened?”--Ratchet

“Well… I was trying to follow Skids trails through the vents, which is so cool to visit—”--Buddy

“Kid.”--Ratchet

“Right. Well, I thought I could jump across the vent opening and kind a didn’t…”--buddy

“What?”--Ratchet

“Good thing Whirl was there to break my fall! Sorry again Whirl for the glass.”--Buddy

“Next time you bust my glass at least do a flip next time you fall on your back.”--Whirl

“What you fell on your back?! You have glass imbedded in it!”--Ratchet

“Huh? That explains why my back hurts so much.”--Buddy

“…”--Ratchet

Rodimus takes it back he loves this little human. Buddy is his best human friend. Whirl wins this though, he already asked Buddy to be his Amica Endura, and they accepted!

“Hey Ratchet—”--Drift

“Shh!”--Ratchet

“Rude—”--Drift

“No. It’s quiet… to quiet…”--Ratchet

“What do you think we are going to get attack?”--Drift

“…No, it’s something much worse.”--Ratchet

“What could be worse—”--Drift

“Its Whirl and Buddy! They haven’t made noise in about 10 minutes!”--Ratchet

“Ratchet I think that them not making noise—”--Drift

BAM!

“Eat floor Cyclonus!”--Whirl

“Whirl! Run! He’s gaining on us!”--Buddy

“I stand corrected.”--Drift

They make friends with a lot of bots on board. Many are happy to meet an individual such as Buddy. But this also comes at a cost. Many bots have to watch for Buddy in case something bad happens to them. They are so small and they keep getting into dangerous situations!

Rung has a line of bots that express the same worry for Buddy one day doing something dumb and not being able to come back from it.

Buddy knows no fear.

How does the crew know this?

Buddy made it their life job to make Megatron uncomfortable when they found out he was going to be the Co-Captain.

“Hey! MegaDork!”--Buddy

“Hmm?”--Megatron

Bucket of oil falls from door.

“Theres more were that came from Bucket Head! That’s for Earth!”--Buddy

Megatron can’t do anything about it. He hates organics and he can’t kill this one, not without causing another war. When Ravage shows up, he thinks that Buddy might back down a bit. I mean what human in their right of mind would try and continue to prank him when ravage is around? Buddy takes this as a challenge that needs to be beaten. If anything, Ravage helps a bit.

“He slipped on the paint! Go! Go! Go!”--Buddy

“Ravage!?”--Megatron

“All is fair in music tapes and war Megatron.”—Ravage

Buddy has the ring tone of Megs comm to “Be Prepared” from the Lion King. Swerve helped them put in the music. He laughed nonstop when it first worked.

They are petty.

Everyone is on edge whenever those two are in the same room.

Half ready to shoot Megatron down the other half to get Buddy to safety once they manage to trigger Megatron.

Is there any chance that Megatron will get a break?

Yes, yes, he does.

He managed to finally get a place holder for a poetry night in one of the classrooms. Not to his surprise no bot shows up. He is about to leave when he hears the quick little sets of footsteps coming in.

“Wait! Wait! Hold the door! I’m here! I’m here!”--Buddy

“Buddy?”--Megatron

“I’m not late, am I? I just saw the flyer from Swerve. And—hold on—sprinted from my room back here.”--Buddy

“Oh, umm, no one came…”--Megatron

“Oh, okay then its just us two them Big Guy?”--Buddy

“Wait—”--Megatron

“Call dibs on the chair on the left.”--Buddy

Megatron never pegged Buddy to be into poetry. He is also floored with Buddy actually talking to him and giving pointers on how to improve his own pieces of work. Even referring to other poets’ works so he could get some inspiration!

He nearly misses the shy look Buddy gives when he compliments their work.

He thinks that this is a onetime thing.

He is deeply mistaken.

“Hey Megs! You ready for today’s meeting?”--Buddy

“Oh, yes I am.”--Megatron

“Good! I have a bunch of works that need to be peer reviewed and I can’t trust Rodimus to look over these; and Whirl sadly isn’t an option for these either.”--Buddy

“Why don’t you ask Magnus? Surely, he could also help?”--Megatron

“And have him explain to me the importance of an Oxford comma when I forgot to put one in my writing? Yeah no, I need your optics for this.”--Buddy

“…Me?”--Megatron

Buddy no longer causes too much trouble for the Ex-warlord. Still trouble but not as much as last time. They always come to the poetry club and even managed to snag a couple of their friends to come with.

He is not going to admit to anyone, well maybe Ravage, that he started growing a soft spot for them.

“Ravage… I think I might be growing fond of Buddy…”--Megatron

“Congratulations! You’re officially the last one to know.”--Ravage

These little interactions begin happening more and more, Megatron is just happy that things are finally going well.

Then it happened.

It was at Swerve’s.

He was sitting at the bar looking over Buddy’s latest writing with Buddy, themselves sitting patiently. He gives a compliment and gives them back the writing.

“You’ve improved Buddy. These are getting better with more time.”--Megatron

“Thanks Dad.”--Buddy

“…”--Everyone

“Why is everyone so quiet?”--Buddy

“You just called Megatron here, ‘Dad’.”--Whirl

“What’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“No! I didn’t say ‘Dad’! I just said, ‘Thanks Man!’”--Buddy

“I don’t know Buddy. It sounded a lot like ‘Dad’ to me.”--Whirl

“Seriously, what’s a ‘Dad’?”--Tailgate

“Well, you heard wrong Whirl!”--Buddy

“Do you see me as a father figure Buddy?”--Megatron

“No! I see you as a bother figure if anything.”--Buddy

“Hey respect your Dad!”--Ratchet

“Is no one going to tell me what a ‘Dad’ is?”--Tailgate

After that interaction, Buddy begins to avoid Megatron after the confrontation and nearly shuts down when someone brings up the event. Megatron really wants to talk to buddy about the incident but decides not to. Maybe it was a mistake.

He broods over it for a while.

He finds Buddy again at Swerve’s where a rather drunk bot was making fun of Buddy for their little ‘slip up’.

“Wow Fleshy. You messed be so messed up in the processor to call Megatron your Dad.”—Drunk Bot

“Hey drop it.”--Buddy

“Oh, look at me! I’m so scared of a human how I could flick across the room if I wanted to.”—Drunk Bot

“Oh, please I know that barely existing processor of yours isn’t that dumb. But even then, I hope Natural selection takes you if you follow through that threat.”—Buddy

It was getting to the point where it was becoming insensitive.

Bots around were getting uneasy at the conversation and some looked like they were going to come over and do something.

Megatron is quicker.

As he strides over, he is met with the infamous brick of parenthood. Should he really take up such a mantle?

He takes that mantle by the horns and makes it his.

“My child, is something wrong?”--Megatron

Voice crack “Nope. Just Peachy.”--Buddy

Everyone looks over.

Buddy is just beaming.

Megatron has no regrets saying what he said, he lets Buddy know this.

No, Buddy isn’t crying. You’re the one crying.

[earthstellar]

famously, healthcare workers typically do not have time for food

this leads to bizarre things, for example: I just had "lunch" at 11 AM, which consisted of a dill herring sandwich and a chocolate pudding, both consumed simultaneously within about 5 minutes

what I'm saying is: you know Ratchet and the other medics eat the fucking weirdest energon types and additive combinations imaginable

maybe zinc is like, a tangy flavour for them, almost to the point of being sour, and most bots don't use it as a fuel additive too often

but medics want to save the more palatable, more easy-on-the-fuel-tanks blends and additives for their patients

and zinc might have some benefits for medical staff; maybe it provides a little energy boost, at the cost of requiring a shorter time in between refuellings or something --

--or perhaps the opposite and it congeals energon slightly, resulting in slower fuel processing at the cost of requiring fuel line cleaning (to prevent energon accumulation within the fuel lines) slightly more often, but that's something medics could likely carry out for each other

so medics always have the most zinc-loaded bullshit fuel imaginable, like nobody else would be able to consume it, it's so fucking sour by energon standards

but medics chug that shit back fast in between other tasks

maybe Drift is visiting Ratchet in the medbay towards the end of his shift, and Rodimus tags along because of course he does, and because they decided to race each other to the medbay, Rodimus needs a little fuel top-up

so he just grabs a cube that isn't sealed (the sealed cubes are for patients and may have medications mixed in with them, and Rodimus doesn't feel like playing accidental sedation roulette today lol), and he slams it back

only to start choking while First Aid pops in to let him know Ratchet will be ready to go in a minute (and also to laugh at the sputtering Rodimus a little, serves him right for taking a medic's energon, lol)

IDK my bizarre "lunch" just made me think about how fucked Cybertronian medic's schedules must be and how equally bizarre their refuelling habits probably are, lmao

[ikkosu]

Thinkin about hiccups and how different bots would react to them. Would they find them cute? annoying? weird? interesting?

Ooh especially in first contact, the bot might think the human is broken lmao -gourmet anon

Cute would be bots like Rodimus, tailgate, and Swerve who'd coo at their humans as if they're littol baby cats. You'd be having chest pains from the contractions (for some reason I do and for some reason my hiccup is so Intense????) while your bots are wagging their digits at you like you're batt it like a child. No, you're absolutely dying. Give water. Now.

Whirl would find that shit funny as fuck. He's recording the sound and blasting it full volume when someone's being annoying or Magnus is reciting another damn protocol from that primus be darned bible.

The medics would be concerned. Misfire and the scavengers with the exception of Krok/ Nickel would freak out.

"Fleshie is choking! Spinister — quick the magnetic chest compressor!"

Krok is now scampering down the hall for the human who's strapped on the medical berth confused, and hiccuping through tears. Nickel walks in with a wrench in hand. Whoever is involved, no helms are spared.

Interesting would be First Aid, Night beat Nautica and velocity. Though, I think Lottie would be more concerned but with how the human is faring fine I think she'd be more curious at why they are.

While annoying would be Ratchet and prowl. Ratchet knows how the human body works and is just frankly annoyed at the fact that the bots are crowding around you like you're some jewel on display, echoing along your little noises. He's also annoyed because you're not taking care of your body properly.

Prowl is just. Can you please take your ministrations elsewhere? This noise is bothersome. That's until you told him it's from your body he's 😐.

[writeyouin]

How about a platonic request? How would Mtmte Ratchet, Rodimus and Whirl react to seeing their normally quiet and reserved human friend losetheir temper and completely go off on another bot. They might be small but that doesn’t mean they won’t try and defend their friend if needed.

Transformers MTMTE / LL Reader Inserts – Flying Off the Handle

A/N – Here is the first on the headcanons list that I’m shooting out.

Warnings – None.

Rating – T

Ratchet

Ratchet is a grown mech, older than most, and far too old to take this slag from a disrespectful young mech.

He’s about to go off on one of his old men tirades. It’s the kind that always makes the younger mechs feel ashamed, but you beat him to it.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” You seethe, glaring at a bot six times your size.

“What?” The bot deadpans, looking at you like you’re nothing.

“Ratchet does everything around here. You would be dead if it wasn’t for him and you have the nerve to backtalk?!”

This is where Ratchet jumps in. “I expect nothing from fools like you. Get out of my med-bay. Go on, ”

The other bot leaves grumbling.

You’re still full of energy and wish that you had chance to expend it, but now Ratchet’s attention is on you.

“Don’t ever do that again,” He orders, worried about all the ways that could have ended badly and the ways in which you might have gotten hurt.

“But-” You start.

Ratchet holds up a servo, “I can handle myself. Don’t do it again!”

You wilt slightly, upset that you’ve offended Ratchet when really it’s the opposite, but Ratchet doesn’t want you to get the wrong idea. In all honesty, he’s proud of you. You’re brave, polite, and when push comes to shove, you won’t take shit from anyone. But you’re also human, and humans are delicate.

“Promise me,” Ratchet says sternly.

You nod, then excuse yourself from the med-bay. You want to be alone for a while.

Rodimus

Rodimus is loving this. One minute the two of you were having a laugh at “Visages” then a bot said something about Rodimus being a bad captain and you had completely lost it.

You threw a bottle which smashed off the big bot’s chassis effectively getting his attention and then you started ripping into him, listing off all the good things that Rodimus has done as Captain.

The whole bar is watching you. The music stopped, but the dance lights are still going, painting you in a variety of colours as you continue to yell.

Somewhere across the bar, Rewind is filming this, and afterwards, Rodimus knows he’s going to ask for a copy of that footage.

Still, there is a small part of Rodimus that knows he shouldn’t be enjoying this. He knows that it’s irresponsible. The bot could fight back, or seek revenge and you could get hurt.

But… He’s going to let you go off a little longer before he calls off the attack. He needs to hear why you think he’s a good captain. You’re his friend, and he has to hear you say it, because you’ll tell it like it is; you always do.

Yet, just in case, Rodimus is ready to grab you or plce his servo in front of you at a moment’s notice, just in case.

Yet for now, he needs this, and by the rage in your voice, it seems that you needed to blow of steam too.

Whirl

If Whirl had a jaw to drop, he would. As is, the only difference in demeanour is that his pupil dilates as he watches you scream at the bot in front of you.

It’s usually him that flies off the handle at things. In every instance that he has known you, it has always been Whirl looking out for you, protecting you, and yes, often irrationally losing his temper when there’s an offhanded comment made about you.

You’ve heard other bots insult Whirl before. Usually, they don’t get very far before Whirl throws a punch.

Yet, in those instances, you always remained calm, or hid if Whirl was fighting since that’s what he always told you to do because he doesn’t want to see his human pet hurt.

On the few instances that you thought Whirl wasn’t there, he’s heard you defend him to other mechs. He knows you’re always telling other mechs how good he is but you’re always being polite about it.

Yet this time, a mech said something and Whirl and… For the first time, he really didn’t give a frag.

It was a lazy insult anyway so he just ignored it, thinking about all the times he’s nearly gotten you into trouble.

But this aft of a mech isn’t letting this go that easily. Whirl is trying to walk away with you in tow, and this guy just keeps pushing him,

Yet, before Whirl can lose his cool, you do.

“CAN YOU JUST FUCK OFF?!”

Silence follows. The other mech doesn’t know how to respond. Everyone knows you, and you’ve never once shouted… Except for Mario Kart Rainbow Road, but everybody shouts at that.

You don’t stop. “WHIRL IS DOING HIS BEST AND YOU’RE FUCKING PUSHING HIM. WHY? SO YOU CAN GET A REACTION THEN PRETEND IT’S ALL ‘COS HE HAS A SHORT FUSE. FUCK THAT.”

You stop shouting but you’re no less irate as you continue your tirade about how this is the problem. Everyone is so set on how Cybertronians should act since everyone has long memories, but sometimes, people want to change and personalities aren’t set in stone.

In the end, the offending mech looks a little bit embarrassed. He mumbles an apology to you, and you correct him, telling him it’s not you he should say sorry to.

The mech very bitterly chokes out an apology to Whirl who is all too smug about this and makes a big performance out of accepting the apology, only toning it down when you elbow his leg.

The next day, you wake up to a leather biker jacket lying on your bed. On the back, scribbled messily is one word: Bodyguard.

[thanksjro]

Transformers Holiday Special (2015) — Wishing You and Yours a Delightfully Secular Wintertime, Containing Absolutely Zero References to the Birth of Christ

Despite what some might like to think, Christmas isn’t for everyone; even with all the commercialization, at its heart, it’s still about the Baby Jesus. You can tell that we haven’t shaken the Christian connection, because the cover for this special issue has the father, the son, and the holy spirit, which is hidden behind the company logo.

And if Rodimus doesn’t stop screwing around, his resurrection’s gonna have to happen a lot sooner than Easter.

Because this is a comic special, things are going to be a little different. Instead of one standard-size issue, we’re getting three mini-stories, each with their own writer (from each of the comic runs that were publishing at the time) and artist. Our stories are listed here:

Don’t worry about what Ultra Magnus is up to behind that text.

Now, you may ask, why on earth am I covering this issue, which is a specifically Christmassy one, now, when it’s not currently Christmas? Well, according to Roberts, the story “Silent Light” takes place after MTMTE #49, and #50 is when the crew manifest for the Lost Light gets shaved down some, so realistically, this is when “Silent Light” happens in continuity. So I want you to keep in mind that Getaway’s Christmas isn’t going so great.

I won’t be going back to catch up on the other runs’ plots, as the Christmas stories are stand-alone.

Getting into it, our first story is:

Penned by Mairghread Scott and drawn by Corin Howell. We open up on a cityscape featuring a happy sun and some eye-searing narration boxes.

I went to Howell’s Twitter to see what her deal was, and was greeted with a banner consisting of a sexy succubus lady with her boobies out, so I’m going to assume she simplified her style for this issue, since mecha are hella difficult to draw.

Also, I hope you like the structure of How The Grinch Stole Christmas!, because that’s what we’re getting for the next little while, complete with chunky, white text on painful-to-view red.

Our story opens with all the transformers from the colonies visiting Cybertron and making friends with each other. Everything is beautiful and nothing hurts, which pisses off President-King Starscream to no end. Being the drama queen that he is, Starscream feels that everyone should be paying attention to him 24/7 and feed him grapes as he reclines on a sofa, because hasn’t he done enough for all these sorry sacks of shit? He hasn’t even caused a war, unlike the last guy who was in charge. Bumblebee (who is a ghost) tells him to just be fucking nice for once in his miserable life, but Starscream wouldn’t be Starscream if he could settle down like that.

Our god-king of the planet calls for his aide, Rattrap, who is going to be in his alt mode for the entirety of this story, to help him set up for a public broadcast addressing his need for attention and adoration.

He sends Rattrap off to deliver the tape to the news, which seems to consist of two very sleep-deprived individuals. Because they’re apparently the only two robots stupid enough to attempt to cover the nightmare hellscape that is Cybertronian current events, the last bit of Starscream’s tape is cut off when one of them falls asleep on the switchboard. This turns Starscream’s personal worship holiday into “For the Love of God Be Nice to Each Other” Day. Everyone takes to it beautifully, getting BFF tattoos, going on vacation with their husbands, hugging in the straightest gay way possible, holding parades, giving each other bombs, and getting absolutely shitfaced.

Starscream, distraught that nobody is giving him the emperor treatment like he had wanted, sulks in his twin bed, then moves to his dinky little throne as the night wears on, making the most miserable faces he can the whole time. Eventually, Chosen One Day ends, and he’s been completely ignored. Very sad.

Then, there’s a knock on his door, and Starscream creeps over to the peephole just in time to be smashed flat by Wheeljack slamming the door open. Last time we saw Wheeljack he was assumed dead by most, and floating in a tank at Starscream’s behest. He’s gotten better since then, clearly.

Wheeljack came with friends— the entirety of the main cast for Windblade/Til All Are One, to be exact— and they’re here to make sure that Starscream isn’t completely alone on this friendship holiday he accidentally invented. Everyone toasts to his good, totally intentional idea, and Starscream decides against killing all of them for at least the next 24 hours.

Now pay attention to this next story, because it’s actually canon-relevant, because of course Roberts would write a holiday special mini-comic that ties into his overarching plot. Fucking nerd.

Our artist for “Silent Light” is Kotteri (or Kotteri!, as it’s been written on some of their other publications) the pen name for Ikumi Fukuda. Kotteri is primarily a manga artist, having created their own works and well as working on other projects. I admittedly can’t find much on this person, not even their preferred pronouns, TFWiki itself using “they”, which I will default to. All of the info they’ve provided themself is, of course, written in Japanese, but even running things through a translator only proves that information to be purely professional. Their personal Twitter is protected, and my follow request was never answered, as far as I know. There’s a fan Twitter account for their art that claims “she”, but I have no way to verify, and I don’t want to assume anything based on art style, because that’s sort of shitty. Let it never be said that I didn’t do my due diligence here— I fucking hate using Twitter.

We open with Rodimus having just returned from Meteorfest, a festival where you surf on meteors and avoid your co-captain and SIC’s calls like the putz you are. He’s greeted by said co-captain and SIC decorating assembling a Christmas tree cloaking machine and finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple. Rodimus tries to deny the existence of Minimegs, then we get our heavy-handed and lampshaded explanation for the crux of the issue. Megatron handles Minimus like a baby doll as the two of them explain that the Lost Light is about to hit Mauler territory.

Maulers are notorious for wanting the Cybertronians dead, but Megatron is too much of a macho man to pussy out and go around them. So instead, the crew will be hiding in special sleeping pods that will mask their spark signatures, and pray to their pantheon of gods that no one notices the ship the size of Manhattan. Brainstorm has like fifteen new inventions, despite being on house arrest from his lab. Megatron’s autobot badge is wearing a hat. Merry fucking Christmas.

Over at Swerve’s, it would appear that everyone’s favorite television junkie is closed for business, as it’s just him, Nautica, and Whirl, sitting on the floor getting absolutely shit-faced on subspace-filtered engex. This might’ve been an issue, as folks are supposed to be bedding down in their B.E.D.s for the next leg of the trip, but Swerve slipped Magnus some Bing Crosby earlier so they’re cool right now.

There’s a banging at the door, and Whirl decides to answer, even though it’s not his bar, because if it’s trouble come a-knocking, it was probably looking for Whirl anyhow.

When Whirl answers, however, it’s not Magnus having caught wind of Nautica disrespecting the Autobot code, but an entirely different flavor of problem.

Now, I know that thing Whirl’s holding looks like a fucked up Hitachi Wand, but it is, in fact, an entire-ass baby robot. It seems that when Cerebros (Fortress Maximus’s friend, if you’ll recall) sent the engex through the subspace, this infant Cybertronian (Luna One-ian?) got mixed in with the other supplies.

We learn a bit about how baby Cybertronians work before we remember, oh right, this kid is gonna get everyone killed if they catch wind of her spark, since there isn’t a B.E.D. for her. Yes, it’s a girl! Congrats to our three idiots on their Cybertronian gender non-conforming little princess.

They gang decides to shunt her back through the subspace hatch, so they head over to where it’s currently being housed— the office of Ultra Magnus. Nautica, using her wits and all the tools in her arsenal, smashes the window to the office and they break in. The empty Magnus Armor sits in the dark like a grim monument to being married to your job. Whirl informs Nautica how to comfort the baby that he super for-sure doesn’t care about, handing her off while he uses his titty glass to replace the window in the door. Swerve tries to bite through iron chains holding the subspace hatch hostage, only to be stopped by the sound of justice coming down the hall.

The gang, of course, looks suspicious as hell standing stock straight immediately in front of Magnus’s office, but Minimus rather likes the change of pace out of these goofy morons, and is maybe also trying to deflect his embarrassment at being caught performing his own personal karaoke. He sends them off to their B.E.D.s, and it looks like all’s well that ends well until Whirl asks where Sparky is.

Yes, he named the baby.

Don’t worry though, he’s totally not attached or whatever.

Nautica, in her panic to not be caught stealing/vandalizing/using equipment she doesn’t have the clearance for, stuffed Sparky in the Magnus Armor. And also put the helmet portion back on the body, for some reason. Anyway, it looks like our little princess is gonna be a load-bearer when she grows up, because Magnus is up and looking for hugs. Nautica, a paragon of level-headed thinking in times of crisis, handles this in the best way she can.

And that’s a wrap on Minimus Ambus! Let’s give him a hand, folks! And let’s also give a hand to the new Ultra Magnus, Miss Sparky Whirldòttir! Where did that little scamp get to, anyhow?

Swerve nominates himself to be the one to drag Minimus to a B.E.D. to sleep off his concussion, leaving Whirl and Nautica to track down the baby.

The scene changes to Megatron announcing a last call for beddy-bye time on the intercom, just as Ultra Sparky enters the room. She looms over Megatron, putting him in a very compromising position as he hits the intercom button with his arm. Rodimus, climbing into his own B.E.D., wishes that his co-captain and SIC would stop being gay for, like, five minutes, or at least wouldn’t do it where it can be broadcasted throughout the whole ship in audio format.

Whirl and Nautica come save Megatron from the onslaught of physical affection, stating that “Magnus” has had a bit too much to drink. Megatron orders them to bed from his fetal position on the countertop.

It’s bedtime, but we still haven’t figured out how to get the kid back to Luna 1 so the Maulers don’t super-murder the whole crew. Nautica leaves Whirl to figure it out, getting into B.E.D. and wondering who the fuck knocked on the door in the first place. Whirl tells her not to worry about it and to go to sleep, so he can be the one to deal with this mess.

Whirl, notorious for doing all the nastiest jobs— former Wrecker, intended bullet sponge for the time travel situation, attempting suicide via Megatron— is going to add another tally to the list labeled “Reasons My Peers Don’t Really Like Me All That Much”, by throwing an entire baby out the air lock.

However, Whirl is being written by Roberts, who would never allow the number of robot babies to go down, so Sparky’s adorable assimilation of Whirl’s signature physical features gets him right in the soft underbelly he swears doesn’t exist.

Wow, Roberts put a baby in that robot. Surely this is as overt as we’re going to get with this imagery, since we’re in a major publication and not some fan-fiction!

ANYWAY

Whirl wakes up in the Medibay, emptied of infant and freaked the hell out about it. Velocity— who I will remind you is basically the only medical doctor on the Lost Light, since everyone else is too busy getting railed by weeaboos and joining unethical polycules to do their actual jobs—informs him that his daughter is, in actuality, a massive colony of scraplets that combined to look like a newborn.

It turns out that Nautica is a bit of a snitch, having spilled the beans after she woke up. Whether or not she thought Whirl had thrown the baby out the air lock isn’t really addressed, but thank god he didn’t, because then we would have had to send everyone’s favorite gun-addled dipshit to jail for the rest of forever. Checking security footage revealed who the mystery knocker was— it was the scraplets, forming the shape of an arm.

When Nautica asks how the hell they all survived this, seeing as Whirl kept the murder baby, Whirl informs her that he cut off power to his own spark to allow everyone else to live, including his sweet baby princess, winning him a #1 Dad mug, and also several emails from Rung to please make an appointment with him.

Whirl’s miracle Christmas baby lied and stole with the intent to murder everyone on board, and that makes her the ultimate daddy’s girl.

I hope you’ve all enjoyed this canon-important holiday special story about Whirl becoming a father.

In our third and final story, it appears we’ve been transported to Whoville, by the talent of our MTMTE Season 1 colorist, Josh Burcham. Within Whoville resides Anna Log, a human woman who owns two turbofoxes and sleeps in full military body armor on her couch. The wall in her living room suddenly explodes, revealing a late-night visitor.

Motherfucker, you are supposed to be on the ship right now.

Mega-Claus fusion-cannons Anna Log, and we cut to a film noir office where none other than Thundercracker has his feet up on the desk. The art grayscales for this section, as he narrates that he’s a detective. He’s wearing a fedora. It’s January 7th. He has a mysterious past and probably thinks that makes him very sexy.

The phone rings, cueing Buster, Thundercracker’s puggle, to put on her own fedora, and the two go to see the crime scene, where Thundercracker is the same size as a normal human man and wears a trench coat.

It turns out that Anna Log is the director of security for the entirety of planet Earth, which is sort of a big deal. When Thundercracker and the cops look at the security footage, they see who did it— Santa Claus, played by Megatron himself. Fucked up.

Sure, pal.

Thundercracker must now fly to the North Pole and kill Santa, because that’s how the law works. He transforms, flies by Club Penguin and a Coke commercial, reflects on his job, and then gets ready for a fight with Santa’s security measures, as Busters glowing nose warns him of incoming danger. She’s very talented, Buster.

Thundercracker makes quick work of the cybernetic security reindeer with his twin energy katanas and Buster’s jetpack. He kicks down Santa’s door to find the jolly elf himself standing in the dark, potentially rabid. The two start kung-fu beating the shit out of each other. It should be noted that this Santa isn’t the Megatron Santa, who shows up behind the two as they brawl, but rather original-flavor fat man Santa. How Thundercracker didn’t notice this isn’t addressed.

Thundercracker demands to know why Megatron dressed up as Santa Claus to commit a murder— the murder part made sense, Director Log and Megatron would be diametrically opposed— and Megatron reveals the greatest slight against himself he’s ever known.

Framing Santa for murder ain’t exactly gonna turn that coal into a diamond, Meggy baby.

Thundercracker clocks Megatron, he becomes besties with Santa Claus, and they ride a flying tank into the sunset. Thus ends Thundercracker’s most brilliant writing project yet, which he was reading to Marissa Faireborn this entire time.

Marissa isn’t terribly impressed, poking holes in all the little nonsense bits, while also not feeling thrilled about having been killed off in the first two pages of Thundercracker’s book. While the two argue, Buster and Ayana Jones make a Merry Christmas, Charlie Brown! reference together, and the issue closes out with a big ol’ Autobot symbol, even though Thundercracker was a Decepticon, Ayana and Marissa are humans, and Buster is a goddamned dog.

Thus ends the Holiday Special. Up next, more direct story progression!

[cozzzynook]

Rodimus losing the battle against his carrier instincts as the minis use it against him. They want to get up to a little mischief, and their other friends probably won't help, so they have to go for their laidback captain who has a soft spot for them that he desperately tries to hide! They use classic manipulation tactics on him, and it's not until after they walk off does Rodimus realize "wait a klik..."

And yet he still finds himself arguing against Ultra Magnus and Megatron with three not-so-guilty minibots hiding behind him.

Whirl is blatantly snickering, Cyclonus and Chromedome are at least trying to hide their amusement. How kind, Rodimus almost can't tell, he just needs to ignore their field.

All the while he's just wondering what his life has come to. At least they got a new minibot onboard who hasn't caused trouble yet, but that's probably because they're heavily traumatized and haven't received help yet because their piece of shit sire left them out- Megatron, stop looking at him like that.

Ooh stop! Because now i’m having thoughts of

- Megatron being like the sire to the sparkling on accident because yeah he’s huge and scary but he took off his helmet so the mini he mistook for a child would feel calm after being so overwhelmed.

- the mini woke up in the medbay and Rodimus wasn’t beside them since he had to take care of the paperwork and get the ship ready for launch.

- the mini has seen Megatron as a sort of sire ever since watching his finials flicker and wave. The mini is so entranced with the finial colors and how they flicker and dim they reach out to try and touch them. And oh boy does that almost make Megatron cry since he’s never let a soul besides his creators touch his helm finials.

- megatron is sitting locked away in his room shaking trying not to cry with the mini swallowed up in his arms, all comfortable when Rodimus finds them and takes an image capture. Or 17.

- Rodimus is the type to let the carriers off with their shenanigans but Megatron does not. Stern, simple punishments that get the point across are given but when it comes to the mini they basically adopt and co-creator, they both just melt since the bitty is so sweet and never does any wrong.

- you can find the bitty looking small in the crook of Megatrons arm or attached to Rodimus’s hip like a sparkling.

- every decepticon knew Megatron had a soft spark for sparklings so it wasn’t a surprise but no one knew Rodimus was a carrier or had a soft spark in general for new sparks.

- drift is extremely shocked the very first time he sees Rodimus being a creator for the mini that didn’t even have a designation!

- Rodimus was so focused on taking care of the mini he didn’t stop to think how odd it must seem to others or that he exposed himself as a carrier.

- Rodimus definitely lives up to his status when they see him easily command ship or do paperwork with the mini laying in his arm recharging while he works with his only free servo.

- Drift is not expecting to see this or Rodimus with a mini on his hip that looks happy to be there! The others minis will literally climb onto Rodimus and sit on his shoulders and he lets them! Rodimus doesn’t mind and they know this but its still so odd for Drift to see his carefree amica be so responsible and do a complete 180 while still being his regular self!

- Tailgate sits on Rodimus lap with the traumatized mini and has the easiest time getting the mini to relax besides Rodimus and Megatron.

- its an observation for Cyclonus but a teasing joke Whirl makes. The traumatized mini looks exactly like a mix of Megatron and Rodimus. They have a spoiler and helm like Rodimus with red optics like Megatron along with Megatrons color plating.

- whirl doesn’t make too many jokes about the mini anymore. Not after he made a particularly poor tasted joke about the mini’s sire trying to offline them and their carrier letting it happen. The crew forgets how violent Rodimus can be and how hard he can hit. Their captain is often so happy go-lucky around them being immature, that they forgot he was one of high command for a reason.

- Whirl is in the medbay for a fee weeks after Rodimus finished with him—when they could successfully pull him off— the mech gives a short apology to the traumatized mini and the medical staff don’t have to worry about Rodimus coming in to finish the job.

-every bot gets a valuable lesson only the oldest bots among the ship were able to witness before the war.

Never mess with a carriers sparkling.

- Rodimus spends days in his hab with the mini right alongside Megatron who takes shorter shifts and spends most of his time with the two. They don’t even notice how close they’ve become while taking care of the mini.

- its not until the mini asks them to name them do they realize they’ve become co-creators.

- panic ensues.

- panic between the two of them. Both physically and verbally.

- their mini creation just sits back and watches it unfold and when they try to say something, the response from Megatron and Rodimus is a simultaneous—

“Not now Nebulas.”

“Nebulas? My designation… is Nebulas?”

They..didn’t plan on that. Don’t even know how they said the same name at the same time or where it came from. Rodimus assumes its their love of freedom that the stars give them and Megatron thinks its the hope spaces endless possibilities grant them.

- in the end they calm down and celebrate their mini’s designation while trying not to blush at each other

[transformersbrainrot]

THE CANONICAL SOUNDTRACK TO LOST LIGHT #24 IS "THE SHEPARDS BOY" BY MURRAY GOLD???

MR ROBERTS YOU WERE GOOOOKKKINNNGGGGGG!!!!! Like holy shit it works so fucking perfectly with Rodimus's speech! If you haven't read the issue with this playing in the background you're doing yourself a disservice as a fan of the franchise. Like holy shit. Maybe my doctor who fan in me is making me a little more hype than most but I kinda doubt it tbh. This goes so hard!

(Audio and panels under the cut)

[fucking-solar]

rodifish crumbs perhaps (infodump about him)

YESYESYES!! Hi!!

Despite growing up in Nyon (a mer city and society) and living there for a good most of his life, he gets most of his social cues and behaviors from the mechs he’s met at his beach! He learns seeker wing language and applies it to his spoiler to replicate. He also learned cybertronian from the mechs he was visited by. He can’t read or write glyphs but he can understand it.

He’s not done growing since he’s still fairly young (what he considers young which is Megatron age) so as he gets older, he’ll likely get even bigger and longer. Unless he decides he wants to STOP growing which I doubt he will. He’s already a little bit bigger than what he would be if he were cybertronian.

And since this is a valveplug account, mers don’t give or receive oral. It’s just not part of how they “breed,” most mers also have sharp ass teeth so they don’t want to risk it on organic flesh. It’ll take super long to heal if it’s cut. Because of this, if you gave Rodimus head, he’d fucking cry and cum immediately

I didnt know what you wanted me to talk about specifically so I gave some random shit lol

[tinydefector]

Marine Centre 7 - Merformers AU

Word count: 2k

Warnings: mention of dead animals, eating dead animals, attempting to court/filrt.

Masterlist

Perv

Next

_____________

Big blue had been avoiding them the best he could while at the centre, staying at the bottom of the cove or out in the deep water of the sea so that he wasn't near them. 

 But all the other oceanides began to get very friendly towards them, following them up and down the sea line and around the walkways around the marine centre.  

Angelfish trills, surfacing from the water cooing as he tries to get their attention. "Hi Angelfish, I'll talk later. I'm trying to find Big blue” they hum with a smile as they continue walking towards the cave.    

Cherry shoulder-checks him aside. Calling out himself He waggles his fins as he pushes himself up onto the sand a little, using his hands to drag himself.  “Cherry! No,no you just got out of quarantine, don't you damage your scales again!” They nearly shout while trying to shoo him back into the water. 

As Rodimus makes another persuasive overture, the three Oceanides continue calling and thrilling as if trying to get their attention but they were set on a mission they wanted to find Big blue. They had books that they wanted to read to him, to help him be able to speak a little more or just be able to ask more questions from the food they eat to oceanide ways. 

“What has gotten into you three my God, you're acting like pups” They chuckle only to hear Bee call out. They would know that call anywhere. “Bubba!” The little yellow pup calls out. “Yes hello baby!” They call back. 

 The little pup zooms through the water, spitting out a mangled blend of little melodies and little words. "No! Cuddle, cuddle!" He huffs puffing up as he chases them. “You can cuddles in a little sweetheart.”  

Firefin seems just as persistent to stop them from going to the cave. Beaching himself in their part, blocking them. They let out a sigh realising they weren't going to escape the three adults and pup. “Fine, fine guess I'll sit here then” they huff out and sit down in the sand. 

Bumblebee is quickest to zoom over, trilling excitedly as he uses the waves to wash himself up closer to them as he wiggles and drags himself into their lap. They grab out one of the books of fish holding it out for Babybee to see. The other three almost crowd around to inspect what they have. 

“Fish, Fish” the pup shouts. “Yes bubba, fish, gonna point out them and you nod if you eat them” they coo while pointing to the fish, making a motion to their mouth, doing a head nod and shake to try and make sure the oceanides understood what they were asking.   

 

Cherry jabs at a pufferfish photo, then to Angelfish who shoves him away with a playful hiss. Bumblebee trills happily from his perch, little hands pointing at fish as he peers at them. “Do you like Flathead?” They hum only for the little one to nod vigorously. The other three seem to be playfully fighting between each other over an answer. 

Firefin rumbles thoughtfully. He nods slowly at them, he then points to the lionfish and makes a low snarl at it. “yea i know you don't like the Lionfish, the Sharks seem To once they are dead.” They continue pointing to another one, this time an Eastern Wirrah. “What about this one?” 

At the next indicated fish, Angelfish perks up. Cherry nods eagerly. As they continue to go through the book making doen fish that they liked and didn't, Bumblebee babbles as he points at other fish, crustaceans and shellfish excitedly. 

But it's their heads snapping to the side as Shimmer beaches himself with a kill. “Holy shit, holy shit!” They shout pulling Babybee closer as they watch Shimmer rip into the seal carcass. His head snaps towards them as blood runs down his mouth and chin before he goes back to eating. Shimmer lazily tearing into a seal carcass on the sand. The pup coos excitedly at the gory sight, wiggling out of their arms and quickly splashing his way over.  

__________________________

"Hello gorgeous!" Rodimus trills, only for Bluestreak to surf closer to them. "Come swimming with us again please?" He calls out only for Sideswipe to shoulder-check him aside. " Ignore this fin flicker, you can do better. Name's Sides - I'll show you a way better time than any landwalker." He waggles his frills eagerly. 

As Rodimus makes another persuasive overture, Sideswipe cuts in flamboyantly. "Forget these two- I'm the best you'll find in these seas, sweet thing!, come on you have see me at my lowest" 

Rodimus elbows him aside. "The they're not interested in guppy talk."  

Their displays only grow more elaborate as the softone strides unresponsive past, oblivious clicks drowned out by youthful cry of Bumblebee. The little pup zooms over spitting out a mangled blend of songspeak and soft word phrases. 

But Rodimus presses ever closer, blocking their path. “Come on, you had no issues talking with me after Optimus took off” he nearly whines. The softskins let out a sigh realising they weren't going to escape the three adults and pup. So they sit down in the sand. Close to the water so that Bumblebee could move closer. 

The group lets out a noise of success. “finally we can actually spend some time with you!” Sideswipe laughs as he moves closer, watching curiously as they pull out strange looking boxes. But as they open it the oceanides see the images of fish. 

Bumblebee, trilling excitedly as bright illustrations capture his fleeting focus. Sideswipe and Bluestreak crowd close as well, "Ooh, look - it's you, Blue!" Sideswipe jabs, pressing his claw at a  picture of a pufferfish. Bluestreak shoves him away with a snort. "Frag off, your ugly mug is Not!." 

They let Bumblebee curl up in their lap while pointing to a fish. And making a 'to eat' motion before waving their hand in the direction of the three like a question. Before doing a head nod or shake. Sideswipe catches on first, snapping his dentas. "Eat it? Frag yeah we do, looks tasty!" 

Bluestreak elbows him. "Spongebrain, they're asking if WE eat it, not if YOU would." He turns a questioning gaze on the humans. "yes we hunt those" he nods along as they point to different ones. At the next indicated fish, Bluestreak perks up. "Oh, those? Fat suckers are a real treat, their meat just falls off the bone. We'll chase those gutbusters all over the reef given a chance." Sideswipe rumbles while admiring the different fishes.

Sideswipe nods eagerly. Rodimus nods too, he then points to the lionfish and makes a low snarl at it. “Those firefish are nasty, we don't eat them, they make us very sick” he informs only for the softone to make a noise in understanding. 

He points to others, fielding answers. "Groupers are yummy. Lobsters if we're lucky, fast buggers though. Any big fish, deep fish.  barracuda, Mahi Mahi, sunfish, even marlin if it's a big feeding party."

As the softone continues pointing to others as the boys nod or shake their heads over which ones they eat. Bumblebee babbles as he points at other fish excitedly, “yummy, yummy!” He coos which earns a laugh from the others. “ yea pup they are yummy”

The smell of blood has their attention as Sunstreaker drifts onto the sand with a seal that he is ripping into and eating. The metallic scent draws Sideswipe's attention downbeach. "Hey, looks like Streaker's found himself a feast." The others follow his gaze to see Sunstreaker lazily tearing into a seal carcass on the sand. 

Bluestreak clicks his dentas, eyeing the dripping prey. "Not a bad catch, solo this time?"  Rodimus' fins flick approvingly. Sunstreaker licks a lingering gaze to their softone. Bluestreak snaps his dentas jealously. "Showoff, look he's got them interested now!"

"Always got to one-up us, eh Streaker?" Sideswipe whines. "Can't you let the rest of us wow someone for once?" Sunstreaker just huffs, blood dripping from his chin. "Not my fault if you clownfish can't land a catch to save your sorry shells. At least I get results." He flicks gold and silver fins in a taunting display.

Bumblebee swimming over to Sunstreaker. Cooing softly as if to ask if he could try the seal with him. The little pup is very polite as uses his big wide eyes up at him, Sunstreaker had a soft spot for the pup reminding him of his own pup sunstorm bumblebee's plea proves effective, as his big puppy eyes always did. With a smug quirk of his lip, Sunstreaker tears off a choice strip of seal meat for the eager little pup. 

"Here you go, squirt. Maybe you'll finally fill out that scrawny frame with a real meal." He ignores the others' jealousy as Bumblebee trills his thanks around the treat. As he lets the pup have his fill of the seal while he eats. 

Bluestreak scoffs. "Look at that, he's stolen the pup's affections too..." Sideswipe tries to stop the soft one from following Bumblebee down to the seal carcass. "Don't pay them any mind, sweetspark. I'll hunt something for you." He calls out as a promise. 

Bumblebee eagerly devours his seal chunk with Sunstreaker's watchful gaze. When the pups caretaker edges closer, Sideswipe whines pathetically. "Don't do it, you'll only encourage his displays! Gorgeous, come back - I'll prove myself a far truer catch." 

But their noisemaking falls on deaf ears as their human carefully approaches the feeding pair, wary yet curious. Sunstreaker lets them near without hissing, merely flashing bright patterned frills at them in invitation. 

A challenging smirk curls his lip components. "See something you like, landwalker? I'm always up for another hunt if it means claiming a worthy prize." The others can only whine and fawn, outmatched by the golden mech's sheer audacity. 

"What are you doing?" Drift asked, popping his head up to watch the younger Oceanides. Bluestreak huffs. "We're trying to win favour, prove ourselves to the landwalker. But Sunstreaker keeps showing off as usual." 

Sideswipe nods fiercely. "He only does it to make us look bad. If he'd frag off maybe one of us could get a real connection going."

Rodimus vents softly in amusement. "Optimus already tried a fin show, but I doubt Sunstreaker will get them that easily." Sideswipe titters. "Can you blame him? The way they doted on Bee, of course he got all showy!" 

Drift shakes his head in amusement before taking off again. 

"No way, Optimus!," Bluestreak insists. "I mean look, they're still not even reacting to us" 

Sideswipe nods eagerly. "Bet his display freaked them right out, Wonder how far south he hauled his sorry tailfin..."

“I'm telling you Blue, He got so worked up while Ratchet and I were at the caves, fins and frills All flared out as he made a little call to them. And beforehand I was asking him if they were his mates. He said something to them in their words and they got very shy” Rodimus says to him.

"How would you even mate one?" Sunstreaker shoots back at them.

Bluestreak hums curiously. "I don't suppose landwalkers mount the same as we do? No tail, slit or pelvic fins in sight." 

"Frag if I know." Rodimus says defensively. 

Sunstreaker fans his fins and frills at them again, a soft little rumble leaves him as he puts on the show, the softskin looks at him and smiles as they talk and praise Sunstreaker in the language he can't understand, but they do make a whistle noise at him. He smirks triumphantly as the landwalker's praise. Bluestreak scoffs jealousy. "Fragger thinks he owns the surf with this showboating" 

A deep rumble echoes off the waves and it has Bumblebee looking up and calling out to his Sire. Even the softones attention flicks to the large Oceanide as he hangs back in the deeper water. Optimus was still keeping his distance from them after his flare up. 

Sunstreaker falters his display. "Well frag me, Papa Prime's making his presence known out there..." Bumblebee trills excitedly at his sire. “Papa, Papa!” he calls out to him.

____________________

Photos of what the Oceanides look like for those who haven't seen Megatron is the next one I'll be working on.

____________________

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[skylarkking]

I've been whacked with the valveplug stick again and I have headcannons for some of the Lost Light crew.

🔞 under cut

I'm gonna start off by simply listing the characters I know currently (I've read up to the issue where overlord first appears but have read other snippets scattered on the internet) and the list will begin with my favorites:

Rung

Definetly into BDSM

Uses interface as therapy

Despite being a fucking tiny adorable nerdy twink he knows how to work big bots

His glasses sometimes fall off during sessions and when they do he's often too blissed out or focused on the other bot to care

He is a moaner and makes all sorts of sounds that bots are obsessed with

He has tried everything and anything

He attended one of Ratchet's orgies during Ratchet's college years as a Party Ambulance

He and Froid DEFINETLY had angry interface before and you can't tell me otherwise

Rodiumus

Legit a horndog

This mf gets so worked up that throughout the day he has to step aside and take care of himself

He's a bottom who tries to play top and FAILS miserably

Drift and him are fuck buddies (you can't tell me otherwise)

He's capable of gentle and intimate interface with someone he loves, but due to his inexperience and somewhat childish attitude (not his fault I mean he's essentially a guy in his 20s) he prefers quickies over that

After interface he sometimes forgets about aftercare

Drift

Way hornier than he lets on

Loves to have his neck bitten

When he is in heat he is either gonna top every bot in his reach and make them beg through tears or he's gonna beg Ratchet with tears in his optics. I'm sorry I don't make the rules here

I think when he was a Decepticon he was Hella into knifeplay

And I mean HELLA into it

Like this bitch would pop a boner if someone licked a sword or some shit

He bottoms for Rodimus mostly but in a sort of bossy bottom sort of thing

Ultra Magnus/Minimus

This guy.... this guy may act like he's only into vanilla shit, but I fucking GUARENTEE he's a freak

He's fragged Swerve before (size kink when he's in the Magnus armor)

When he's in the Magnus armor sometimes the connections for his own spike and the armor's get wired wrong and he has to "adjust himself" (like human amabs have to do with their dicks)

Out of the Magnus armor he secretly feels extremely vulnerable and anxious when it comes to interface because of how tiny our little dill pickle is

Side note: give him a fucking HUG DAMMIT! HE NEEDS IT!

Swerve

If any of the bots would fuck a human, it would be this bastard

He'd also have human kinks (like mommy/daddy kink [thanks @archie-sunshine for rotting my brain with that idea])

Despite being a motormouth I think he can easily be silenced by a pair of thick thighs around his head

Side note: I think minibots have WAY HIGHER stamina verses their larger counter parts, so swerve will be going at it for a loooooong time

Secretly has a stash of human porn in his bar

Magnus has found said porn once and for a week Swerve was on edge in keeping his secret

Skids

Since he can learn anything really quickly I think this bastard can master the art of seduction

Like he could simply give a bot those bedroom eyes and BAM! He's fucking

He's a massive cuddler after interface

Has fragged Nautica at LEAST 15 times

When he overloads his headlights sometimes flick on by accident

Ratchet

Oh you cannot TELL ME this guy hasn't had a kinky past

Party Ambulance is fucking cannon and no one can tell me otherwise idc if it's only a fan thing ITS CANNON AND ILL FIGHT GOD ABOUT IT

Not as horny as he use to be but when Drift or Rodimus get their heat cycles you better fucking BELIEVE he's on the case

A true master of aftercare

Really into bondage

These are only a few lmao I have SO MANY MORE

[in1-nutshell]

For the Ratchet and Drift adoption battle.  

The Lost light ends up on earth for some reason.  And trouble appears, Buddy’s birthparents.  Coming out of the woodwork demanding to see their child.  Now, depending on how long Buddy has been in the system, the state may have already relinquished their parental rights, but it does bring up another problem, by cybertron standards, Buddy is legally Drifts and Ratchets, Earth standards, less so.

This is just the start of an idea.  Maybe it's angst and the parents are a piece of shit who want the child who they abandoned back for some really selfish reason.  Maybe the parents truly do want some relationship with their child and poor buddy is just stuck in between the family that loves them and the family who they spent their life wishing loved them.

Maybe I just want the lost light to turn this custody battle into a fucking kangaro court.  They show up in their holoforms and Rodimus starts to boo whenever the birth parents try to say something.  He’s kicked out and the court goes into recess as they try and figure out how to hold him in contempt of court.  Luckily a good part of the remaining crew have assembled to always have someone audibly cough whenever birth parents try to speak.  Nevermind the fact that none of them even really need to breathe, holoform or no holoform.  And Ultra Magnus is acting as their attorney.  That's all I got.

The bio parents were done for the moment Magnus took on the case.

Hope you enjoy!

Human Buddy (Dratchet's kid) meeting their bio parents again

SFW, Platonic, Familial, Slight angst, Human reader

MTMTE

The ship had docked again on Earth for a mandatory, in-person, meeting that Buddy needed to go as liaison of the Lost Light.

It was something simple check in that honestly could have been done online but there wasn’t any harm in some sightseeing. Many of the bots on the ship hadn’t been on Earth or hadn’t been there in a while and wanted to look around.

Buddy stayed with Drift and Ratchet.

Before they headed back to the ship, Buddy wanted to show their bot parents one of their favorite parks they used to go to feed the pigeons.

Ratchet napped in the parking lot, while Drift activated his holoform to go after Buddy.

After a bit Drift started heading back to his alt mode with Buddy trailing behind after forgetting their water bottle at the bench.

Buddy walking back to Drift alt mode.

“Hey kiddo!”

“Buddy turns around and freezes as their face collides with someone’s chest.

A familiar chest.

They push themselves off the person as another person comes up too.

“Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?”--Buddy

“That’s what I’d like to know.”--Drift

Buddy looks behind them to see Drift’s holoform marching up to Buddy.

He gently places his hand on their shoulder and looks at the two humans.

“A who might you be?”--Drift

“I’m their father.”--Dad

“And I’m their mother.”--Mom

Drift raises his eyebrows.

“Buddy are they…”--Drift

“My biological parents? Yes, and I thought I’d never see you again after you put me in the system.”--Buddy

Neither of the parents get the little hint of venom in their voice.

“Well, we’re here now! And its time to take you home—”--Mom

“Take them home?”--Drift

“Take me home?”--Buddy

“That’s right Pal—”--Dad

“My name is Buddy.”--Buddy

“Whatever, we’re going home now, so if you’d just come here.”--Dad

The ‘Dad’ tries to grab Buddy’s wrist, but Drift pushes Buddy back.

The ‘Dad’ narrows his eyes at Drift.

“Are we going to have a problem here?”--Dad

Drift narrows his eyes as well.

“I think we are.”--Drift

Buddy’s eyes widen.

“Listen everyone, HE is legally my main guardian. Has been with my other guardian for a while now.”--Buddy

The ‘Mom’ huffs.

“Well until WE see the paperwork, if its not justified by the court here then its null and void for us. Now get over here and—”--Mom

“And what’s happening here?”--Ratchet

Buddy smiled at Ratchet’s holoform coming overlooking more annoyed than usual.

“These are Buddy’s biological parents.”--Drift

Ratchet’s eyes narrow and stands by Buddy’s side.

“The parents that put you in the system?”—Ratchet

“Yep.”--Buddy

The ‘Mom’ starts getting more annoyed.

“That’s in the past and we’ve already settled a court order to get Pal—”--Mom

“Buddy.”—Buddy, Drift and Ratchet

“—Back to us.”--Mom

Ratchet turns to Buddy.

“Wait in the ambulance.”--Ratchet

“But—”--Buddy

“Kid, trust me. We need to have a chat with your ‘parents’.”--Ratchet

Buddy looks at them all before walking to Ratchet’s alt mode.

Buddy wordlessly goes to the ambulance while the muffled yelling was heard outside.

They just strap themselves in the back and hug themselves tightly.

Everything went so fast…

They felt their seatbelt tighten.

It’s a heavy quiet on the drive back to the ship.

When they transformed Ratchet passed them to Drift who just holds them to his chassis.

A crew meeting was called.

“So, Buddy’s bio parents want them back because, and I quote ‘We want to embrace them once again!’. Am I missing something?”--Rodimus

“That’s about it.”--Drift

Half of the bots laugh.

“Good luck with that! Buddy’s legally Dratchet’s kid!”--Whirl

“Whirl we’ve talked about the name—”--Cyclonus

“Yeah! They’re Dratchet’s kid!”--Tailgate

“…Why do I even bother with you?”--Cyclonus

“But they did bring up a point, Earth courts and legal system don’t see Buddy as their kid. Meaning to them, Buddy’s still in the system. And if they play their cards right…”--Megatron

Drift and Ratchet stiffen at the thought.

The crew starts talking amongst themselves but all feel angry at this revelation.

“We can’t let that happen!”--Nautica

“That’s why we’re going to court to fight for Buddy’s case. Ultra Magnus has agreed to represent Buddy—”--Megatron

“Those Fleshy’s are so screwed!”--Whirl

Time to take this to court.

Buddy is put into a different home while the case gets settled.

Meaning no contact with anyone.

There had been attempts by the bots to go and see Buddy, but they complied hearing that any visit could jeopardize their position in custody.

Thank goodness Magnus was there to help with the court case and legal things.

Also to help mediate the humans and the bots ‘immature’ actions.

So many of the bots in their holoforms were making obnoxious noises (cough* Rodimus and Whirl*cough).

There were more breaks because of this.

No one of the bots are happy to see the parents when come to the stand, fuming when the pair put on an act.

Even going as far as stating that Drift and Ratchet were unfit parents, not being the same species.

Something strange happens the day when Buddy is supposed to take the stand.

Everyone is asked to come back the next day for the final verdict.

All the bots are confused and worried.

Ratchet and Drift are especially worried about what happened.

Today would have been the first time the pair or anyone would have seen Buddy, and all of a sudden, the day they are supposed to take the stand no one is allowed to see them?

Something is wrong and they can feel it.

The pair find solace in each other while riding high on anxiety.

What if the court decided they truly weren’t fit to raise their human kid?

Would Buddy have to leave the Lost Light for good?

There were too many questions going through their processors right now.

The next day Magnus is updated on what happened yesterday.

The next day the bots and bio parents come in.

Buddy is sitting behind a desk far from everyone else in the room with a guard by their side.

“Ultra Magnus and the crew of the Lost Light, in the case of the legality of the adoption document of Buddy, the jury recognizes that Drift and Ratchet are the legal guardians and will be formally recognized in the system here on Earth.”--Judge

All the bots are floored and cheer hearing the news.

Ratchet and Drift smile the happiest of the bunch.

“Excuse me? What makes these aliens even fit to raise a human child, our child Pal—”--Mom

“Their name is Buddy, Fleshy.”—Whirl and most of the bots

Magnus clears his throat getting everyone’s attention.

“To begin with, you two are charged with attempted kidnapping and aggravated assault of a minor.”—Magnus

The bots behind him eyes go wide.

The parents themselves go pale.

The police start cuffing the bio parents as they squawk in shock.

“What is the meaning of this!? Unhand us!”--Mom

“You have no right—”--Dad

“IF I may!”--Magnus

Magnus ‘clears his throat and intently stares at the parents with hatred in his holoforms eyes.

“You attempted and succeeded in breaking and entering the home where Buddy had been staying and attempted to take them to an unknown location against their will. They fought the both of you off sustaining injuries to both hands and you two fled the scene on foot back to your respected household to pretend that this ‘incident’ never happened the next day.”--Magnus

The bots behind him have a mixture of shock and anger on their faces.

Drift is glaring at the parents wanting nothing more than to punch them square in the jaw.

Ratchet is trying to look over at Buddy for any injury he could spot from where he was sitting.

Magnus looks at Buddy.

“Buddy, if you may show your hands.”--Magnus

Buddy reveals thick bandages on both arms and hands.

“I do believe that is enough evidence. The biological parents are set to a new court date to address these charges. The court once again recognizes Drift and Ratchet as Buddy’s legal guardians, court dismissed.”--Judge

With the swing of the gabble the parents are escorted out screaming and kicking, while Buddy is escorted to a different door.

Once the bots are outside, they can see Buddy running to them with arms wide open.

Drift and Ratchet open their arms as Buddy crashes right into them crying and wrapping their arms around them.

Drift is crying and ratchet is on the borderline of doing so too.

Ratchet carefully looks at Buddy’s wrapped hands.

“Those two good for nothings just wanted to get me back to get my income.”--Buddy

“We can add more charges to their case.”—Magnus

“We can jump them!”—Whirl

Buddy chuckles a bit.

“I think the grapefruit sized marks are enough for now.”--Buddy

Buddy pulls out a wrench from their pocket.

“Learned how to throw from the best.”—Buddy

Ratchet hugs them again as Drift joins in a second later.

The bots all head back to the Lost Light.

Ratchet and Drift never letting go of Buddy for an instant.

[onlyyvette]

Meeting Shenanigans

Warnings: TOP/DOM READER + SUB/BOTTOM CHARACTER + cybertronian reader + gn reader + exhibitionist kink + under table valve fingering + Rodimus is a little shit + gets his shit rocked in the end tho + masochist Rodimus + humiliation + overstimulation + Ratchet finds you guys out :( + he lets it go though!

Word Count: 1224

A/N: This is my first time writing transformers smut I've been reading it for a while now but the terminology can be so hard to write </3

"I for one believe that more funding should go into mine and Perceptor's(mostly mine) lab work. Right now I'm making this---"

"Brainstorm, please refrain from using my name in one of your ridiculous attempts of appealing with your inventions," Perceptor interrupted Brainstorm, narrowing his eyes.

"As I was saying before someone so rudely interrupted me," Brainstorm continued, glaring at Perceptor. "An increase in funding can help me buy the materials for my new invention. And I know, I know, you guys are so excited to see what I came up with but..." Once Brainstorm started rambling, you couldn't bother to keep paying attention.

Once again, Brainstorm had called for a meeting on the Lost Light regarding an increase in funding for his research. More like creating life threatening devices that look like sparklings' toys. Attending the meeting alongside the scientists were Ultra Magnus, Megatron, Ratchet, and Rodimus. You didn't really have a reason to be there. You were only there because Rodimus refused to go without his conjunx.

Brainstorm continued to ramble on about his so called "urgent need" of research funding. Ultra Magnus nodded while taking notes as Megatron and Ratchet looked equally done with Brainstorm's bullshit. Rodimus yawned a bit as he leaned on your shoulder. Even you were ready to leave this meeting, Ultra Magnus would never allow anyone to leave, even if the Lost Light caught on fire right then and there.

Right as you were about to doze off, you felt a light brush on your thigh. You jerked looking at Rodimus but he was still facing forward, a bored expression on his face. Thinking that it was just your processor playing tricks on you, you relaxed again. Not even 2 kliks later, you felt the touch of a servo on your interface panel, much more insistent than before. You looked down to see Rodimus' servo stroking your interface panel.

Once again you focused your gaze on Rodimus. While he was still facing forward, his optics were on you, bright with unspent charge. He continued to trace circles on your panel, a small smirk beginning to grow on his face. So this is how he wants to distract himself, you thought, sighing inwardly. Well, it's not like you were opposed to the idea. Besides, you had already come up with a plan to take away Rodimus' upper hand.

While Rodimus continued to stroke your panel, you moved your own servo to his thigh, groping it and feeling how warm it was. Rodimus' movements stuttered as he wasn't expecting the sudden touch. When you moved your servo to roughly grabbing Rodimus' panel, he gritted his dentae, holding back a groan as his panel quickly retracted.

Since his movements on your panel had completely stopped, it allowed you to focus on teasing your conjunx. Rodimus had a scrunched up look on his face, his optics darting back and forth to make sure he wasn't attracting any attention to him. You grinned inwardly as you skipped any teasing and immediately stuffed two servos inside of him.

"Mhhn--" Rodimus quickly slaps a servo over his mouth when the moan threatened to come out. He got a weird look from Ratchet who happened to be sitting near them, but he rolled his eyes and seemingly brushed it off. Rodimus attempts to shoot you a glare but it loses it's effect when he's blushing furiously as he tries to pretend to be unbothered by your touch.

You continue to move your servos in Rodimus' valve, scissoring him wide open and ramming your servos in as far as they can go. You can feel your lover's valve cycle down tightly as he grinds his dentae in an attempt to not let out any noise. Rodimus soon lets his helm fall down onto the meeting table with a loud thunk. Everyone except for Perceptor and Brainstorm who are now in a heated argument look at Rodimus confused, then at you for answers.

You just shrugged and turned to Rodimus and nudged him with your free servo. "You good?" you asked him with faux innocence as you continued to finger his valve. "..." Rodimus stayed silent, knowing that even opening his mouth would lead to him moaning and exposing what the two of you were doing.

Finally, Rodimus called your comm and you took your sweet time to pick up the call. :Please, don't be so--nnghh, hahh, rough!: Rodimus whined as you chuckled over the call. :But Roddy, you started it didn't you? I bet you thought this was going to go your way, didn't you?: you purred seductively as you roughly pinched his anterior node.

"mm...nhh..." Despite Rodimus muffling his moans, you could still faintly hear it. He was now rocking back on your servos, chasing the pleasure you were giving him despite the company you had. His entire frame was trembling now as he approached his overload.

:You know, Roddy, if I were in a meaner mood, I'd probably be stuffing four of my servos into your tight valve and have you moaning and squirting on my servo like a cheap whore. Everyone at this table would know how slutty you are, you know that?: Your insults dripped with venom. Rodimus whimpered at your harsh words as he comes closer to his climax.

:[n-name]!! Gonna--Ahhnn!: Rodimus moaned desperately over comms as he overloaded on your fingers, lubricant staining your servos as he spasmed. You immediately removed your servos from his valve. :So just touching you a bit was enough to make you squirt in public?: you sneered. :That's just sad:

Rodimus whined at your disappointment as he comes down from his overload. His cooling fans had nearly short-circuited due to him repeatedly denying permission to turn them off so his frame was running terribly hot. He continued to tremble as your optics looked around the room to see if any one had caught wind of what the two of you were up to.

Ratchet was sitting across from the two of you but had a scowl on his face that was clearly directed at you and Rodimus. He definitely knew that the two of you were fooling around during the meeting and he was very much in disapproval about it. Yeah you were definitely going to receive dome words from him after the meeting. You shivered at the thought of his infamous wrench.

Ultra Magnus still hadn't noticed as he was still absorbed by Brainstorm and Perceptor's still ongoing argument. Megatron was sitting down with his arms crossed over his chassis, his helm tilted downwards with his optics closed. Most likely, he was getting tired of whatever nonsense was coming out of Brainstorm's mouth and had decided to clock out of the meeting quietly.

You gave Ratchet a small grin as your servos began to circle Rodimus' anterior node causing him to jolt. You called Ratchet's comm and surprisingly he picks up.

:You two are terrible: Ratchet says, his optics narrowing. :We're in a meeting and you decide to fool around?:

:C'mon Ratchet: you pleaded. :Just stay quiet about this please? I promise this won't be happen again!: Ratchet just snorts and turns his head away, disconnecting the call. Despite what you told Ratchet, with the way that Rodimus is reacting to your touch, Ratchet will most likely not be getting a break anytime soon.