#Professional dental assistant

[dentimatch]

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[gojonanami]

Hey sab!!

What do you think of dentist gojo? Please indulge me 🧎‍♀️pretty please

dentist! gojo would be the single reason you look forward to going to the dentist. that man who flashes you a flirty smile, lips curled when he sees your name on the schedule that day.

dentist! gojo who sits you down in the chair and pays special attention to you — doing the extra things that usually a dental assistant would do — just to have some extra time with you.

dentist! gojo who, when you complain that you can’t open your jaw wide without it hurting, asks you to demonstrate, and god, when he sees your pretty lips part, it’s hard for him to focus. and it’s hard for you when your cheeks burn when his fingers examine your jaw, and he indulges in dragging a finger down your lips. he also can’t help but think of what else would look good between those lips.

dentist! gojo who always wants to ask you out, but is afraid of crossing a line. so when you mention that you’re self conscious about your teeth — he tells you that you have a beautiful smile and your teeth are just as lovely. and you can’t help but ask him if that’s a professional or personal opinion — and he smiles, cheeks dusted with pink behind his mask, and answers “personal. “ and he follows up with, “I can give you my other personal opinions— if you would have dinner with me,” and you quip back, “this wouldn’t be another oral examination would it?” And he murmurs, leaning in slightly, “a different kind of oral examination maybe,”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Love Lilia (no shade to him) and I know (think) the game has implied that Silver's drowsiness is magical in nature to some extent but we also know that magical pharmaceuticals exist?

Like as a fae is Lilia just not aware of modern medicine? Narcolepsy is a treatable condition, not curable but it can be managed. And Silver already does a lot of non medical things that help manage narcolepsy like exercising, seemingly not having too much screen time etc. So like...what gives? I know for the sake of the game Silver like having prescription adderall or xyrem isn't cute or quirky, but idk like are Fae anti-vaxx?

jk jk but still 🤔 I have some questions.

As an aside, I can't imagine Sebek's dad not having proper medication in his dental practice, so it feels like Lilia knows but doesn't necessarily believe in medical treatment? Unless this has been talked about explicitly and I missed it.

[This post might be a good related read on Silver's condition and how others react to it!]

It's suggested in book 7 that Silver's narcolepsy may be the residual effects of a sleeping curse/blessing cast on him several hundred years ago. According to the conditions set, it can only be broken if someone that is capable of "truly loving him" appears. For whatever reason, Lilia finding baby Silver was enough to wake him (he was previously sleeping for 400 years straight), but Silver still suffers from notable drowsiness as he has grown up. Maybe we'll learn why this is later in book 7.

I don't think this is a case of Lilia not being aware of modern medicine; it's more likely that certain treatments from our world don't exist in Twisted Wonderland, or Twisted Wonderland has treatments that don't exist in our world (since they do have access to magic + medical mages). There's nothing in the canon lore which implies fae are against medicine or certain treatments (they have healing potions and dental clinics, like the one Sebek's parents operate). However, they are technologically averse (Malleus is a prominent example of this), so they probably don't welcome that in their healthcare institutions. For example, it is stated in 7-53, regarding technomantic assistive devices "like the ones used in the medical field": "Briar Valley's residents tend to have an aversion to technology… But many would benefit from such things if [Lilia] were to introduce them there."

Silver has explicitly stated that Lilia has taken him to several medical mages/doctors to have his condition assessed, but none of them knew what was going on or were able to help. This demonstrates that Lilia is aware of Silver's condition and actively seeks out professional assistance and advice for it. It's just that no one has the information they're looking for. A lack of improvement in Silver's condition doesn't mean that Lilia is against medicine. Vil speaks on the nature of blessings and curses (since his own UM allows him to spin them). According to Vil, it's difficult for even for the original caster(s) to undo a blessing/curse until the conditions set for it are met. In this case, I think Silver can only fully be cured of his symptoms if he finds "true love". We don't know what the parameters for "true love" in this context are, but it could come into play at the end of book 7 with Diasomnia finally reuniting and reconciling, acknowledging one another as family. More specifically, maybe Lilia and Silver have a heart-to-heart (ie sharing a true platonic love) and Silver formally adopts the Vanrouge surname. It's also possible that Twst might just not address it, since that would take away one of Silver's most notable quirks...? But I feel like they have to at least address it since they bring up his condition a few times in book 7--it can't NOT be relevant in wrapping up the loose ends.

[yuurei20]

do we know what caters dad does for work? its mentioned that they move around a lot for his job but what exactly /is/ his job

Hello hello! ^^ Thank you for this question!

Cater’s dad works at a bank!

It is not specified what it is that he does for the bank, only that he is transferred to a new office about once every two years.

We have a surprising amount of information about the employment situations of the parents of the various characters!

Riddle’s Parents: Medical mages (also called “magical healers” on EN, but the job title of “魔法医術士" is consistent in the original game.)

Trey’s Parents: Professional bakers that run their own cake business / patisserie.

Cater’s Father: Works for a bank (mage status unconfirmed) Cater’s Mother: No information

Ace’s Father: No information (confirmed magicless) Ace’s Mother: Never mentioned in-game

Deuce’s Father: Never mentioned in-game Deuce’s Mother: Delivery truck driver (mage status unconfirmed)

Leona’s Father: King of Sunset Savanna (mage status unconfirmed) Leona’s Mother: Never mentioned in-game

Ruggie’s Father: No information Ruggie's Mother: Dead

Jack’s Parents: No information (mage status unconfirmed)

Azul’s Mother: Restaurant owner (confirmed mage*) Azul’s Father: No information (confirmed mage*) Azul’s Step-Father: Lawyer (confirmed mage*)

*Azul says, “everyone in my family is a mage," without distinguishing between the different members.

Jade and Floyd’s Parents: “They simply run an independent business that dabbles in a bit of everything. Nothing out of the ordinary, I assure you.” (mage status unconfirmed)

Kalim’s Father: “Does business in a lot of different places,” but what kind of business may never be specified. (confirmed magicless)

Kalim says they come from a long line of merchants and he wants to emulate his grandpa and great-grandpa, but I have not been able to find a specific line that says Kalim’s father himself is also a merchant. Jamil describes Kalim’s father as “a key player in our government and economy.”

Kalim’s Mother: No Information (confirmed mage)

Jamil’s Parents: Servants to Kalim’s family (mage status unconfirmed)

Vil’s Father: Actor (confirmed magicless) Vil’s Mother: No Information

Rook’s Mother: No Information Rook's Father: Never mentioned in-game

Epel’s Parents: Apple farmers (confirmed magicless)

Idia and Ortho's Father: Director of STYX (mage status unconfirmed) Idia and Ortho's Mother: Chief Engineer of STYX (mage status unconfirmed)

Malleus’ Mother: Former princess of Briarland and commander of the royal guard (dead) Malleus' Father: Nobleman / Diplomat / Envoy / "Dragoneye Duke"

Lilia’s Parents: Never mentioned in-game (Lilia is a confirmed orphan)

Silver's Father: Retired General and Royal Guard (confirmed mage)

Silver's Birth Father: Commander of the Silver Owls (deceased) Silver's Birth Mother: Occupation never specified (deceased)

Sebek’s Father: Dentist (confirmed magicless) Sebek’s Mother: Assistant to her husband's dental practice (nocturnal fae, confirmed mage)

[stroopwaifey]

Teeth Routine from a Pervious Dental Assistant🦷

Hi so I used to work as a scrub tech (sterilization tech) and then moved up to dental assistant. Here is the perfect/ideal dental hygiene routine. If you struggle to brush once a day this routine is not for you and that’s okay! Like I said this is being 100% prefect so if you can’t do everything it’s okay.

Morning ☀️

Use an electric tooth brush to brush your teeth. Some have different settings for different purposes. The most important part is that they have two minute timers so you know you are brushing long enough

Use a tongue scraper or the tongue head on your water flosser (you need a water flosser and no they are not expensive)

Mouth wash that is tailored for your needs. I tend to get gum issues so I use the gum kind

Speaking of types. There is toothpaste for all sort of needs. Whitening, gum, sensitivity, etc.

After lunch 🥗

Brush

String floss

I got in this habit working in the dental office. All the hygienists brushed after lunch.

Night 🌃

This is when 💩 gets serious

Water floss. Yes you do this first

String floss. Yes you need to do both. They both get different parts of your mouth. To use string floss the goal is to scrape the sides of the teeth not just wiggle around in there

Brush with your electric toothbrush.

Mouth wash

Whitening if you want. I recommend strong stuff first if you’re really stained to start. Don’t whiten if you haven’t seen gotten a professional cleaning for a long time, it’s pointless to whiten over plaque. After they are a good color then you can use a gentler/weaker one nightly as you sleep. I recommend colgates overnight pen.

Make sure to wear any retainers or night guards if you grind.

Sleep 😴

Remember this is a routine in a perfect world. I do it all everyday but if you struggle just take what you can do

[ofallthingsnasty]

pairing: sanji x f!reader tags: crack treated seriously, sanji being sanji, dental student!reader but written from sanji's pov so no medical knowledge needed, fat reader (especially in the belly and tits), suggestive, minors dni, law starring as the resident cockblock word count: 1.8k note: weeks ago I talked about how I parked my tits on the forehead of my patient while doing my first frontal filling years back and immediately got the worst possible idea for a little fic. dedicated to that very same young man. I'm still so sorry dude you were a real one 😶

Sanji feels like his pants are going to explode any moment now. When he got up this morning, he hadn’t expected to have the fingers of a woman down his throat - feeling, massaging and palpating. Admittedly, you’re a little rough with him because you’re untrained but that slight tickle of his gag reflex your fingers evoke is hotter than he thought it could be. He has half a mind not to chase them with his tongue, not wanting to scare you off.

Of course, your intentions are innocent. You’re trying to see something that is entirely beyond his scope but hey, he isn’t the professional here. (Or on the road to be a professional, considering that you’re still a student.) The last time he went to the dentist it had certainly been different - curt, clinical and without much frou-frou - but whatever it is they’re teaching the students nowadays, he finds himself very much agreeing to it. Maybe a bit too much, he thinks and tries to fight the half-chub with thoughts of his old man. 

It’s hard, pun intended. You are a dream in starched white directly in front of him, round face scrunched up in concentration. Clearly, you’re taking your task very seriously but that doesn’t help him much with staying composed when you’re clumsily whipping his head around by his teeth, the touch demanding and a little careless. You don’t seem to be the bossy type but there is something about sitting beneath a beam of cold, white light while getting thoroughly inspected by a soft-cheeked, lovely woman that makes his face traitorously warm. “Alright”, you say and pull your fingers out of his mouth, white nitrile shiny with his spit, your skin peeking through the stretched material.

He briefly wonders how they’d feel wrapped around his-

Shit.

“Mucosa looks healthy, gingiva is inflamed, though”, you say to your assisting student, as you turn away from him again - some skinny dude with a severe expression and a goatee. “Can you write that down?”

The guy just nods behind a paper file and Sanji can see it shake with the pressure of a pen against printed-on lines. There is a name tag clipped to his chest but Sanji is ignoring it on purpose. He doesn’t like him at all - he had given the blond nothing but filthy looks after Sanji had offered you his first name upon introduction, and even interrupted him when he was only trying to make (perfectly harmless) small talk. Something about time being of essence but Sanji is just not buying that.

Asshole.

They had battled it out via eye contact when Sanji had to gurgle that god-awful mouthwash for a solid minute and the only thing he won in those sixty seconds was the knowledge that Goatee has terrible manners.

Just his luck, he figures. The one chance he has to be meticulously pampered by a pair of cute dental students has to be ruined by some pierced killjoy. This situation could only have been worse if (by some miracle) Zoro turned out to be your assistance. But fortunately that man knows as much about teeth as he does about navigation: fuck all.

It had been Nami who had recommended the student program to him when he noticed a pesky, dark spot right between his incisors - and while she was intent on saving him money, he was more taken by the thought of being put into the care of aspiring dentists like you. Sanji had been sold. And he had been even more thrilled when he got that first call from you, your voice promising nothing but prowess, delicate hands in his mouth and a sweet face to stare at. (Okay, maybe your hands aren't so delicate after all - but one smile from behind your mask and all is forgiven.)

Too bad your sweet glory comes with a lanky, pierced guard dog. 

“Have you had any injections in the past?”, you ask and pull him out of his reverie, a syringe already in your dominant hand. “Ever had any troubles with them?”

He shakes his head no and tries to keep his breathing even when you duck down to him, hunched over as you push his upper lip towards his nose in one swift notion. “This is gonna sting a little. And you might feel a little pressure.” Indeed, it does - but it’s so miniscule that he can barely call it a pinch. Your concern for him is incredibly cute, though. Your hand is a little shaky as you press the liquid out of the needle but aside from the feeling of liquid pooling underneath sturdy skin, he feels nothing. He watches as you furrow your brow and let out a sigh of relief when the syringe is empty. You’re clearly nervous and he wants it to be because of him so, so badly but unfortunately, he knows better.

“It’ll be over soon, you’re doing so well”, you say after putting the needle away and take his upper lip between your index finger and thumb and slot the digit right into the fold that his mucosa forms, gently pulling and rubbing at the same time. “Just a little longer, can you do that for me?” Oh, he’d do much more than this for you, he thinks but the only thing that comes out of him is a weak gurgle.

Goatee scoffs next to him. 

“I think you didn't inject enough. You might want to re-apply some.”

“No, I gave him almost two milliliters, that should be enough”, you say and he can tell you’re pouting underneath the mask. Sanji swears the other man grins for a split second. “Bummer.”

“Alright, we’ll just do some prep while the anesthetic kicks in, okay?”, you ask and don’t even wait for an answer. He watches you while you flit around the tiny space, gathering things on the little tray that hovers above him, nods and smiles when you do your best to apply a clunky dental dam and lets you move the chair into the right position. When you’re done, the world is almost upside down, with his head tilted and you right in the center of it all, trying to adjust the light above you.

“Any moment this gets uncomfortable, you tell me immediately, alright?”, you say far above him and he’s grateful that Goatee is doing a great job at using that little saliva tube because he’d be drooling otherwise. 

Framed by a pair of thighs, your warmth just at the tip of his head, your breasts almost a shelf between him and your face. This is how he wants to die, he thinks. Just a whole lot of soft woman surrounding him. But it’s only just about to get better.

You take the drill into your hands and inch closer until he feels something solid, yet soft touching him. He realizes that it’s your belly at the same time your assistance does, because as his eyes go dinner-plate-wide, Goatee hisses your name through clenched teeth. “Posture.” Never has Sanji hated another man more than him in this very moment. “Oh, thanks”, you beam, so genuine it makes him want to cry. Unfair. Life is entirely unfair. He wallows in self-pity while you let the bur whir. It’s astounding that he really doesn’t feel anything but the pressure and the low vibration that makes his bones swing, too bad it’s exponentially less wonderful when he could have marveled at the feeling and that warm softness touching him. “You know”, you start the moment the instrument buries itself into his enamel, talking as if you’re both contemplating life over some wine. “Your gums are really inflamed. I can tell that you smoke a lot.” Not able to really answer because of the thin sheet of latex over his mouth, he simply hums in confirmation. He can tell that it bothers you - adorable, you’re worried for his health - because you had been downright shocked while going through a questionnaire with him earlier, shooting Goatee looks that only could be described as Are you hearing what I’m hearing? when he confessed to smoking a pack a day.

Well, old habits die hard. “You should really consider quitting or at least cutting down-”, you start and continue to list all the terrible consequences his nicotine addiction might bring, all the while you’re swinging around that little diamond bur like it’s a pen. And, still unable to answer, he hums. If he was able to, he’d probably tell you that he’d do anything for you as long as you let him live between your tits, preferably until the day he draws his last breath. Fuck. It’s definitely the wrong line of thought, especially because they’re so close in this position. He swears he can see the color of your bra peek through your scrubs - he’d almost be giving in to the next little daydream if it weren’t for the fact that you seem to hunch over ever so slightly while you work. Too lost in your thoughts, you seem to have forgotten about the warning you received earlier and let your body curl into itself to get a better view at his tooth. Closer, just a little closer, he thinks, almost going cross-eyed as you concentrate more and more on the task at hand and less on sitting straight. Not even Goatee seems to notice, too focused on helping you. God, are you wearing pink? The thought is enough to send a rush of blood back down to his crotch, his hands gripping the seat underneath him like his life depends on it. He’s desperately trying to think of a million unpleasant things at once - he’s not trying to spoil your efforts. You had been so eager on the phone, had told him that frontal fillings are hard to get. It’d be a shame to ruin that opportunity for you but- The very last few ounces leave his head when he can finally feel that heavenly touch of fabric-cupped fat right on his forehead, the slightest kiss of heaven underneath blessed sterile light. Angels are singing somewhere, he’s sure, and if his mouth wasn’t already open, he’d let out the most pained silent scream to ever exist. Your tits are heavy, they’re warm and they were made to rest on his face until he suffocates and by god, you just don’t back off. Sanji is nothing but a pathetic little prey animal caught between your soft belly and your breasts and he can do nothing but play dead in hope that he might come out of this alive, somehow. You shift your weight, probably reach for the tray in front of you, imaginary violins start playing and it’s officially over.

He slacks against your touch before he can even gurgle for attention (and really, does he want to? If he were to die right now, it would be an honor, a befitting end), the world around him growing quiet, a screen of white taking over. Wherever he is going to is warm and cozy and has a magnetic pull on him, so he follows.

The last thing he hears is you calling his name and Goatee barking orders - because of course he has to get the last word in. “I told you to keep your back straight, god fucking dammit-”

And if you learned one thing that day it was to get your milkers out of people’s faces lest they faint 😔

[girlwithsharpt33th]

𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐅𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐎

𝐚/𝐧 . this is my first noncon fic, I am nervous! It will be obvious I am not a medical professional, I did very little research. tagging @ofallthingsnasty. this is @t3arlikeglass ‘s writing blog 🩷

𝐭𝐰 . 𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐍, 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞, 𝐩𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚, ’𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐢𝐚 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬’, 𝐍𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐘 𝐝𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐲

Anesthesiologist Doflamingo is a sexy mess and he knows it. He owns it. And he’s on top of the world because his practice always seems to indirectly attract the prettiest, most delicate little things such as yourself.

He is often called out for patients undergoing dental surgeries, namely wisdom teeth removals, and this is the case with you. He isn’t expecting anything special. However, upon entering the operating room he is struck by your appearance; your slumping figure, shaky hands, tortured bloodshot eyes . You look at him nervously, your lips forming an awkward half smile. Your face is bare, hair a little frazzled. You must’ve been up all night worrying about this; your first surgery, the oral surgeon says. How amusing.

As soon as the surgeon leaves and it’s his turn to prepare you to receive your anesthetic, Doflamingo slinks to your side, stooping eye level with you as you shift uncomfortably in the reclined dental chair. He doesn’t bother dragging over the stool in the corner of the stuffy room, preferring to watch you squirm at his predatory stooped form.

He takes a minute to just admire you before he says anything, letting the anticipation eat you alive.

“Never been put under before?” he asks, grinning eerily when you hurriedly nod your head, words lost on you.. Tragic little thing. He can’t resist touching you anymore, long fingers gliding down your arm, stretching it out for you, hand palm up. He drags one thick finger up your forearm before resting on the inside of your elbow, flicking it - a touch too hard for your taste - to resurface a vein suitable for injection. Nothing.

He sits up slowly, grabbing a tourniquet from a tray off to the side and ties you off, squeezing the fat of your arm harshly. You look away as he smiles, finally locating a distinct cephalic vein. “There we go.” he purrs.

He retrieves an alcohol wipe, a pleasurable chill running down his spine as he watches you flinch at the cold wetness of it dragging across your skin. “Scared of needles, sweetheart?’ he asks, hot breath fanning across the shell of your ear. The alarm in your eyes amuses him.“Just look away.” he says, a silent and ominous command. Somehow seductive. He grins at the blush creeping across your cheeks before you hurriedly look at the blindingly white wall beside you. He takes an excited, shuddering breath as he inserts the needle into your vein, watching the clear fluid rush through the tube into the puncture site.

He stares at you as you drift off a few minutes later, your eyes fluttering closed, a placid look painting your pretty face. Closed eyes signaling he finally has free reign of your body.

To ensure that he has in fact secured his treasure, he bullshits to the dental/surgeon’s assistants that you’re not responding well to the anesthesia, that your heart rate is too high, or whatever else he can pull out of his ass that will buy him enough time to have his fill.

He re-enters the operating room, finding you still dead to the world, and looms over you, practically panting and salivating. He takes his latex gloves off, and drags his hand down your supple body.Your eyes suddenly flutter open. Ah. ‘anesthesia awareness’

He refrains from letting out a maniacal laugh, licking his lips. He drags his digits up your throat and props your bottom lip open, pressing two fingers into your mouth. He moans as you circle your tongue around them and roughly shoves them down your throat until you gag. “Look at you.” he coos hoarsely letting his other hand travel south, tracing your arousal through your tight pants.

Of course, he has done this before with other patients, but he rarely gets the pleasure of toying with them while they're conscious. He knows you won’t tell, with your meek demeanor and faltering gaze. Hell, you probably won’t even be able to differentiate if what’s happening to you is reality or drug-induced psychosis.

He slips his fingers underneath the waistband of your pants, sliding them down and humming at the sight of your bare cunt. So pretty, a little smattering of hair covering the delicate mound. He straddles the dental chair and raises your legs over his shoulders, leaning down and delicately ghosting his breath over your sex, spreading your lips.

His breath hitches at the slickness of your arousal and he puts his fingers in your mouth. His other hand sneaks down, slipping into your cunt.

His fingers pump in and out of you roughly, exploring your slick, spongy walls. You make a garbled noise, a weak protest, but he roughly grabs your chin, peering up into your eyes with a dark hunger you have never seen before reflected in anyone else’s.

“Shh.”

More like shut the fuck up

He curls his fingers, hitting your g-spot over and over again, nails digging into your sensitive canal. He can’t handle his own desire any longer, and loosens his cock from his pants, stroking his leaking phallus roughly with his free hand. A maniacal grin spreads across his face and his eyes roll to the back of his skull.

He praises you for being such a good girl, guiding one of your limp hands to his cock. He shudders at the coldness of your touch. He engulfs your face with one of his hands and chokes you with the other, cutting off your air supply. He watches in rapt attention as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Tears spill down your cheeks. Your movements on his cock stutter as you attempt to push him away sloppily with your free hand. He doesn’t let up until your eyes finally flutter closed, the vein in the middle of his forehead popping out as he spills into your hand.

Finally having gotten off, he grabs your limp hand that had been pumping his cock and licks it clean, savoring the flavor of his own spunk. He shoves your pants back on and tidies everything up. It is rather unusual for a patient to be ‘aware’ while being put under and he’s thankful for the new jackoff material. The possibility that future patients could also be awake, helpless to his touch, makes his dick twitch in his pants.

[drake-wayne-enterprise]

What Kind of Services Does WE provide for it's employees?

Thank you for the question.

At Wayne Enterprises, we are committed to supporting the well-being and professional growth of our employees. To ensure a rewarding work experience, we offer a robust and inclusive benefits package that caters to diverse needs. Our benefits include:

1. All-Inclusive Health Insurance

Comprehensive coverage for medical, dental, and vision care to promote overall health and well-being.

2. Wellness Programs

Initiatives designed to support mental and physical health, including gym memberships, wellness workshops, and preventive health screenings.

3. Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs)

Confidential support for personal and professional challenges, including counseling services and resources for navigating life's difficulties.

4. Pension Plans

Long-term retirement savings options to help employees plan for their future.

5. Paid Vacation and Sick Leave

Generous paid time off policies, allowing employees to rest, recharge, and manage personal matters without financial concerns.

6. Flexible Work Options

Hybrid and flexible work arrangements to promote work-life balance and accommodate varying needs.

7. Professional Development

Opportunities for growth, including training programs, certification sponsorships, and tuition reimbursement.

8. Off-Site Childcare Support

Assistance in managing childcare needs to help employees focus on their professional goals.

9. Comprehensive Insurance Options

Life, disability, and other insurance plans to provide financial security for employees and their families.

10. Family Support Programs

Resources and assistance for families, including paid parental leave, family leave, and adoption assistance.

We believe these benefits reflect our dedication to fostering a supportive and inclusive workplace. Should you have any questions or need further information, please do not hesitate to reach out.

Sincerely,

Tim Drake

Chief Executive Officer

Drake Industries

Wayne Enterprises

[deepdive002]

You have a very wholesome energy on this blog.

Very proud of your resilience, I have multiple family members who struggle with bipolar disorder including my brother and he has unfortunately become very estranged, in and out of jail, difficult to be around if not harmful at times and refuses to seek help or medicate despite all the help and rehab over the years. Sometimes it feels very hopeless and sad, especially the fear that I might have those symptoms too one day, but I am grateful and soothed that there are stories of hope and healing and positivity like yours.

Wishing the best for you and your daughter! 💗

Thanks! 🩷

My bipolar has put me in the hospital 10 times. For better or worse I seem to only get manic episodes. This is tricky because being manic actually feels great. The problem is that you don't get anything done.

Untreated mania would have made getting through college or holding down a job relatively impossible. (It's still very hard, even with treatment.)

The key for me was finding help I liked and respected early in my life.

Drawing the line between where I stop and my insanity starts was a very personal question. I believe an objective scientific definition is best, but the answer may be different for others.

When I talk about my illness, I include a personal request: I ask that if people think I'm acting strangely to go online and look up the latest criteria for a Bipolar I Disorder Manic Episode in the DSM.

(As of the DSM-5, there are 7 symptoms and having 3 or 4 for a week is the threshold for a manic episode.)

If I need help, get me help but otherwise: I need to be allowed to get excited about my life without my friends and family worrying "Oh no! It's happening again."

Resources ☎️

I've been seeing my therapist for about 20 years now.

If you are interested you can probably find him by Googling "Harold L. Boerlin MD, Irvine CA". He's been doing phone visits since COVID.

He may be able to help you even if you don't live in California, if you are willing to fly out for some initial consultations. I actually have no idea how that would work but I can't recommend him enough.

Dr. B is both a psychologist and a psychiatrist. (He has a medical degree from Harvard.)

Letting someone change you fundamentally with medication is a big ask. However had I not decided this is what I want all those years ago, I would probably be homeless and perhaps have very strained relationships with friends and family today. (My family is also amazing by the way.)

Political Advocacy 🇺🇸📢

In my opinion, the mental health care system in the US is on the brink of collapse.

Too many professionals are not trained in hard science and some are handing out diagnosis like candy.

Recent "Mandated Reporter" laws are vague, ineffective and shatter the essential sacred trust between a client and a therapist.

Mental health parity laws for insurance companies do not work and I strongly advocate for MH to be a seperate insurance the way dental and vision are (with well-funded public assistance programs.)

While in the hospital I've seen human beings get "processed" and it is horrific.

I am in awe of the limitless compassion of most whitecoats (my name for them). However, publicly available resources are often not as unlimited.

Sick patients come in on a 5150 for a 3-day hold, yelling and hitting people. They get some food and shelter for a bit but refuse further help.

Then sometimes doctors fall short. They give up and just give the patient a heavy sedative so they will stop yelling and hitting people.

Then the patient doesn't voluntarily extend to 14 day treatment. They get tossed out on the street like garbage and the cycle repeats.

[regressioncurriculum]

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[boxoftheskyking]

So you might want to buy a house

DISCLAIMER: all of this is based on my own experience, and I am in no way a real estate professional. This is just some stuff that I’ve learned and some steps that I wish I’d known more about in advance, in hopes that it might be helpful for some people. I might get some terminology wrong, or make mistakes, but hopefully the general info is at least kind of helpful

ABOUT ME: because real estate stuff is specific. I am 33, single, employed, and live in a city in Minnesota, USA. This is my first home purchase, so most of this is specific to being a first-time buyer. I’ve been renting in this area for 15 years. I closed on my house in August 2023.

NOTE: The real estate market is super weird, and varies hugely from region to region, neighborhood to neighborhood, and week to week. What shook out for me will not be what shakes out for you.

This is SO LONG, so it’s under a cut, and I hope you will take it with the good faith in was intended!

Where do I start?

So you want to get started but want to talk things over first. This is a good idea! Even if you have friends and family who have bought before, it’s nice to talk to official type people where you can ask any and every question and know they’ve heard way dumber questions than you could ever come up with over the course of their career.

Employee Assistance Program -If you work a job that has benefits, you might have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Some companies get it along with their health insurance as kind of a bundle, but a lot of people don’t talk about it or know about it. -EAPs are all different, they’re basically a resource hub that you might have access to if your employer covers it. Some things they offer are limited therapy/counseling sessions (usually around a specific need like a breakup/death/life transition), consultation about adoption, personal financial advising, and consultation on housing and buying property. -I used my EAP to find a bunch of organizations that work to support first-time home buyers. The one I went with, NeighborWorks Home Partners, is specific to my area, but there were other options listed. -I didn’t actually talk to anyone related to the EAP, I just logged in to a site that had a bunch of links. But I could have talked to someone if I wanted -If you work a job and have benefits like health insurance, retirement, dental, etc it’s worth asking whoever does your benefits (and HR person, general manager, office manager, etc) if there is an EAP. Again, a lot of people don’t really talk about it.

Homebuyer Education -There’s a bunch of different organizations that provide homebuyer education. I didn’t know many of the details about homebuying, and it’s super confusing and anxiety-inducing, so I found it helpful -There’s a few ways to do this—I did both a one-on-one consultation and an online class -The one-on-one consultation was free from the org I chose. We talked on Zoom and went over monthly budgets (which I didn’t really need to do, I make budgets for a living lolllll), a soft credit pull (will talk more about this below) and talk about what goes into a credit score, and all the different expenses that go into a house and what that might look like. At the end of the day, it gave me the first sense of what my budget for a house might be.  -They did a soft credit pull (see below), which gave me a sense of my credit. It was more accurate than a thing like Credit Karma or my bank. -One note about the consultation - my down payment assistance program (will talk more about this later) required me to redo it, because I did it over a year before closing. So depending on your programs you might need to pay attention to the timeline. I also got a certificate saying I did it that I submitted to my assistance program. (Redoing it meant like a 10 minute call where the guy just helped talk me through my closing documents) -It cost me $75 to take an online class that took a few hours. It was in 8 parts and included watching some videos, reading some short articles, and then taking quizzes. You had to get 80% right to pass, and you can redo it if you need to. It went over most of the things to know and had links to read more. I also got a certificate for that to submit, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed for my assistance program. 

Credit -I’m not going to explain everything about credit, because it is complicated -A soft credit pull is when they check the three major credit reporting agencies to get a general sense of your score. It’s not 100% accurate. -A hard credit pull is what lenders will do when you actually go in for a preapproval (more below). It will be the most accurate. A hard credit pull will have an affect on your credit score, so if you’re ever doing something that involves a hard credit pull, it’s best to do all of that within a month so that it only really hits once. -There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and your score will be different from each one. Why? no idea. They all have a different maximum number that your score can be. Why? again, no idea. It’s around 850 though. -Generally things get easier to do if your score is above 680ish. It’s not like you can’t get a house with a lower score, but sometimes there are other hoops to jump through. -I’m not very useful when it comes to buying a house with low credit, but I bet there are people who are!  -You build credit by owing money and paying it regularly. It’s annoying and dumb, but it’s the way it is. Paying rent on time builds your credit, having a credit card that you pay off every month builds credit, paying utility bills that are in your name builds credit. (Note: This stuff has to be in your name for it to count, so if you pay your roommate every month for the electric bill and it’s in their name, it won’t count. So if you’re in that situation, you may want to put something in your name like a card to build your score). Paying off a car or phone or student loan also helps. -I have really good credit, and I’m neither rich nor special. I just set everything to autopay, including my credit card bill. I use my credit card for most things that I just shop for in the world like groceries, etc, and then I have all my bills autopay from my checking account. How did people do this shit before autopay? I have no idea.

Mortgage vs. Rent -The benefit of paying a mortgage vs rent is that you’re building equity if you pay into a mortgage. This is a surprise tool that will help you later. Which means that if you are in a situation where you need money, you can borrow from what you’ve paid into your mortgage. So like if you get very sick or have a kid going to school or want to throw a big party, you could get a loan based on your equity -Equity is confusing, don’t ask me about it -For me, I pay a bit more per month than I did in rent at my last place. BUT mostly that’s because I’d been living in the same place for many years and my rent hadn’t gone up that much. One of the first things I did when considering buying is look at how much it would cost to rent a house like the kind I would want to buy. And those rents are over what I ended up paying monthly to my mortgage. -Keep in mind that you will be taking on some extra expenses that you don’t have as a renter (like maintenance, repairs, etc). Note: if you’re buying a condo, that’s different. I don’t know shit about that. -So for me, paying my landlord every month for him to occasionally (half-assedly) fix stuff (on his schedule, where he decides who to hire or how to do the work, where he is a stranger in my space for the duration) was not as appealing as me paying the bank every month so I can have some equity  -The first 6 months of owning a house feels like hemorrhaging money out of every orifice, but the majority of these expenses are one-time or rarely-reoccurring things. But I didn’t quite prepare for this the way I wish I had, so when you’re thinking about building your savings to buy a house, you’ll want to consider things like furniture, small repairs, pest control, duct cleaning, gutter cleaning, many many visits to a hardware store, realizing some of your stuff doesn’t fit the way it did in the old place and you have to get new things.... etc. 

The Money Stuff

Lenders -It might be appealing to start by looking at properties, but especially in a hot market that’s not what you want to do first -The first thing to do is to look at lenders! Lenders are basically the institutions that give you the loan to buy your house, and the ones you will be paying monthly for the 30 years of your loan (or until you sell) (or die I guess) -I talked to like 13 lenders, because I love an excuse not to move forward on scary things, so I just do research and research and research until I run out of steam. So i don’t necessarily recommend doing that. But you definitely want to talk to at least a few. -Lenders can be banks (like Bank of American, US Bank, Wells Fargo, etc), credit unions (like Affinity, RCU, etc), or smaller mortgage companies. -You can also talk to mortgage brokers, which are companies that have agreements with different banks or companies and can shop around on your behalf. -I got my list of people to talk to from: my consultation (above), friends who had bought/were buying, friends who like their bank/credit unions for other things -You’ll have a specific person you’re working with, so who that person is matters. -Things you’ll want to ask about 1. How is their communication? How big is your team? If you see a house on a Saturday and they need offers by Sunday afternoon, how likely is it that they will get your preapproval letter ready in time?  2. Are they good at explaining things to you? Do they work with first-time homebuyers a lot? Do you feel dumb talking to them? Are they mortgage nerds and genuinely seem like they care about finding you good deals and cool programs? 3. What are their interest rates at the moment? Know that this will change between now and the time you have the option to lock in, so don’t put too too much weight on this 4. Most importantly: What assistance programs do they have access to? Everyone has different ones, which we’ll talk about below. Don’t assume that because a bank is huge that they have a ton of assistance. Some small places have really great programs. Likewise, some of the banks that are more well-known for big ticket mortgages (like Jumbo loans for mansions, etc) actually have crazy good programs for low-income and first-time home buyers, because they need to show that they also work for the little guy -I ended up going with a small local mortgage company because they had a kickass program ($10,000 in down payment assistance that is forgivable in 5 years. So as long as I don’t sell my house in 5 years, I don’t have to pay that back). -You may be tempted to solely base your decision on who to get a mortgage from on the politics of the lending institution. This is a lovely instinct. HOWEVER, your mortgage can be sold to anyone at any time. Within a month of moving in, my mortgage was sold to Freddie Mac. I still pay the credit union that is the servicer of my loan, but it all goes back to the big guy in the end. So basically you have no control of where your money ends up. (or maybe you do somehow, ask someone else about that) -At the end of the day, you should apply to like 2-4 different lenders. Once you fill out your application, they’ll do a hard credit pull and look at all your income, bank accounts, etc, and they’ll pre-approve you for a certain amount of money. -This is really where you’ll get your house-hunting budget. There can be a pretty big range in what you’re approved for! One lender approved me for $220K (”maybe $225K” they said). Another approved me for $280K. You’ll want to pick a lender based on all the above information, along with the amount you’re approved for. Being approved for $280K doesn’t mean that’s what you should spend (you can, but I don’t recommend it), but it does mean that your budget can be more like $250K, compared for $225K. You’ll want to look around at your area to see what’s reasonable for you.

Downpayment Assistance -for a lot of first-time buyers, the downpayment (and closing costs) is the thing that’s standing between you and being a homeowner. So that’s what a lot of organizations focus on -The more you put down (i.e. pay right off the bat), the lower your loan will be, and therefore the less your monthly payment will be. So it’s worth it to try and pay down as much as possible -(Likewise, if you buy and house and then get a windfall and are like What do I do with all this cash, paying down your mortgage will save you money) -This is because you pay MORE in interest than you pay for your house, so the less your loan is, the less you’re paying in interest. If you find a way to pay off your loan early, you end up paying less interest! And you win against the bank! If you get a raise and are able to put even like an extra $100 towards your mortgage each month, that can cut years off your loan and build your equity more quickly, thereby cutting down on the interest you end up paying. So unlike paying more money to a landlord who will eat it with a spoon, maybe more in your mortgage early is helpful for you. -Lots of downpayment assistance (hereinafter DPA) is stackable! So you can qualify for multiple programs and use them all -Many have an income requirement (for one of mine, I need to make 80% of the median income in my area or less). -Many are location specific. Some of those you can look up in advance and try to focus on properties in those areas. Some are super super specific, like this block only, or these specific addresses. That’s true for one of my programs—whenever I was considering making an offer on a house, I’d email my lender and she’d tell me if that specific address counts for the assistance program -At the end of the day, I got $30K in assistance. $10K of that is forgivable in 5 years (so I don’t have to pay it back unless I sell in that time). The other $20K is from two separate no-interest loans. This means that if I sell the house, I have to pay back that amount. Ideally by that time I’ll have enough equity in my house that will cover that. -Interest rates are super high right now, so if you’re buying now you want to think about refinancing. Refinancing is basically when you negotiate a new deal with your lender. There are fees and things (I’ve never done it so IDK), but the benefit of doing that is getting a lower interest rate. So my rate is 6.25%, and in 5 years if the rate goes down to like 2.3% I may want to refinance so I’ll be paying less in interest over the course of my loan. -If you’re getting DPA that’s a loan, you will want to ask what happens when you refinance. They’ll probably tell you either you have to pay it back when you refinance (so don’t get stuck in that situation if you don’t have that $$$ on hand) or they’ll say it’ll be subordinated -this took me like weeks to get a straight answer on wtf is subordination. Basically, you pay your loans off in order, right, so you pay your mortgage and then after that you pay off your DPA loans. So if you refinance, then your mortgage ends up being “newer” I guess. So in order to put the mortgage back “on top” of the pile to pay off, so to speak, you pay that (and it’s interest) first, the DPA loans get shoved down underneath the mortgage on the list. 

Interest Rates -You can’t control interest rates. Honestly markets are so volatile and the world is so close to ending, I would say it’s not worth waiting for them to go down. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. No one fuckin knows -So many global, political, circumstantial things affect these, and who knows what might happen. My friends happened to be closing during the time the debt ceiling almost freaked out, which was outside of their control, so they got screwed with a super high rate.  -After you get an offer accepted and you’re working on setting up your loan, you’ll usually get the offer to “lock in” an interest rate. Basically, if you have reason to believe rates will go down before you close, don’t do it. if you think they’ll go up, then do it. Who fuckin knows. I did it bc I didn’t think it was likely stuff would go down. And I haven’t looked it up bc if they did I don’t want to know -There are more complicated things you can do with interest rates, like “floating down” and APRs and other shit. Don’t ask me about them, I do not know.

Looking for houses

Realtors -Who your realtor is MATTERS y’all. Here is what a realtor will do: 1. Give you access to a Super Awesome online listing of properties (much better than Zillow! Updates constantly). They will set your search filters based on what you specifically want and your specific budget. That includes size, amenities, location, school district, garage, yard, etc etc 2. Arrange showings for you. Sometimes you might want to go to open houses, but you don’t have to wait for those to see a house. You tell your realtor what you’re interested in and they can set up a time for just you and them to see the place 3. Access houses with funky lil lockboxes. Heist teams should include realtors—I’ve seen my guy get into the weirdest of devices in no time 4. Recommend places to you 5. Talk on your behalf with the seller’s agents or the sellers themselves 6. Take you all the way through your offers, acceptance, all the way to closing (basically, most of the rest of this post) -I am really lucky that a friend of mine is one of the best realtors in town (in my humble opinon). It really worked out for me, because when it came to negotiating price and terms with sellers and their agents, people already respected him and his expertise because he was a known fixture in the field. I’m not saying that an early-career or unknown realtor is bad, but reputation can do a lot of heavy lifting for you (as you’ll see later) -My realtor, S, is not only a friend, but also someone who has owned, rented, built, remodeled, bought, and sold everything from high rise condos to alpaca farms to tiny houses built in shipping containers. That experience was super useful to me for a few reasons: 1. He was very very good at looking at a roof, foundation, or basement, and saying “absolutely not, this is a mess” —I could only rarely see what he was talking about because I know nothing 2. If I looked at a space and said “what if I wanted to add a shower there?” or “could I make this basement area a bedroom?” S was able to pretty accurately estimate what that would cost. So that became part of the math as we looked at places, which was really useful and saved me so much time doing research on my own 3. He’s a queer artist who grew up in a nontraditional family and has lived many fascinating and non-standard lives. I only mention this because when I wanted to talk about my future and what my home could look like, I didn’t have to worry about S making assumptions about what “family” consists of or what my “role” would be. And as a single woman who is looking to adopt, that really meant a lot to me! -(side note if you’re in the Twin Cities and want S’s info, hit me up) -The most important thing about working with S, for me, is that he never made me feel foolish. I gradually got really good at talking about and looking at houses, but even when I asked questions that were obviously, or made incorrect assumptions, he never treated me like I should have known the answers, or like the process was supposed to be easy. And the guy genuinely loves houses!

What to Look For -You’ll want to find a house that fits what you want your life to be, not necessarily what it is at this moment. So think about what you want your day to day to be like. Will you be working from home at all? Do you have or want kids or pets? Do you want to be a person who hosts out of town guests? Do you want to have band practice at your place? Do you want to host D&D? Large holiday meals? Do you want to garden? Grill? Have a firepit? Do you have a car, or do you think you will? Do you have physical access needs based on your body, like particular types of doorways, floors, stairs, size of spaces, etc.? Are there furniture pieces that are important to you that you want to plan around? (For me, I have an electric piano, and placing that was super important).

-I’m a single person, and I want to adopt a kid, and I know I’ll need a roommate in order to afford my mortgage. So it was vital for me to find a house that either had 3 bedrooms, or had 2 bedrooms and a 3rd could be easily finished/added. it was also important that my roommate would have their own private space that was decent size for me to charge rent -Think about all year round. I live in Minnesota, and you better believe snow was top of mind at every house. As a renter, my landlord was supposed to deal, with anything over 3 inches (did he always? of course not). Now it’s my responsibility. What kind of trees are around? Do you have big storms? You need to pay attention to big branches and power lines. Is it getting super hot where you live? You probably want to prioritize central air, or shade.

-On the topic of central air - It’s pricey to add it to a house that doesn’t have forced air heat, because you have to add all the ductwork. If that’s the case and you don’t have that $$$, you can either go with window units or something called a mini-split. It’s basically mini air conditioners that heat floors separately, but have a better range than a window unit. -Does the house have a yard you want to deal with? How about a sidewalk you have to shovel (woe unto you in corner lots) -How does bussing work for the schools in your area, if that matters to you? -Some houses will be empty. Empty rooms look smaller than rooms that have shit in them -Some will be staged. People who stage houses don’t fill them with STUFF, so you’ll notice few bookcases, coatracks, etc. Think about the stuff you have, not the stuff they put in the house. -You will be AMAZED at how some people live. Seriously. Some people have a giant ass oak tree literally leaning on their roof and just deal with it. Some people have 3 bedroom houses, and the only bathroom is only accessible by going through one of the bedrooms. Some people have their fridge down a flight of stairs from the kitchen. Some people have their laundry in the basement, but the only access to the basement is through an outside door. In some climates that’s fine, but I live in fucking Minnesota -I had the instinct when I started looking that I needed to be entirely open to everything, and not be too picky. After about two weeks of looking (and S had me going to like 4-9 showings a day some days), I got real picky real fast. This was helpful for S and helpful for me, so we weren’t wasting time on houses that weren’t contenders. I learned that the houses’ feelings did not get hurt by me not wanting to buy them -Likewise, I started out being entirely open about where I wanted to live. Anywhere in the Cities or near suburbs, I said. But then I went to see houses in these places and realized I did not want to drive that far to work, or that the only way to access places was by the highway, so if it shuts down or there’s a bad snowstorm, I’m stuck. -To that end, i found it really helpful to make myself a Google map (you can make some and save them) of where I go. I included work, church, my bandmates houses, bars I like to go to, and my friends’ houses. Then whenever I was considering a house I’d plunk it on the map and see how it lined up with the realities of my life. -We’ll talk about offers in a sec, but remember that people can technically list their house for whatever number they want. So it’ll be up to you and your realtor to decide what’s fair. I mention this here, because a house may be listed way cheaper than others on your list—there’s likely a reason for that, but if it looks promising, give it a try! It could be that the reason it’s listed low doesn’t matter to you (i.e. it’s next to an annoying business that you don’t mind, or doesn’t have a garage but you don’t have a car, or the other houses int he neighborhood have yards and this doesn’t). Or it could be the seller needs to move it FAST and you can take advantage of their situation. -If you’re a handy person, a cheaper house might be a great option if fixing it up to be what you want is affordable for you. (Again, this is where a realtor like S can be super helpful to come up with those costs). For me, I didn’t want to do jack shit to the house, and I knew I’d be paying for that. (not that I don’t have a whole spreadsheet of eventual projects....but that’s invevitable) -Likewise, it can be helpful to set your filters to include houses a bit above your budget. Some people list their houses WAY higher than they should, so if you see a property that’s been on the market for a while (when I was looking the market was hothothot, so “a while” could mean anything over a week/10 days. In a slower market, you’ll want to look at those that have been listed for 30+ days), it might be worth checking out and then offering low. Chances are the seller will need to reduce the price anyway if they’re not getting any bites, and you could get a good deal by jumping in before they do that. -IDK where else to put this, but measure the garage. I didn’t, and I discovered like a month ago that my car (a little compact Toyota) is too long for my damn garage. It’s not that I wouldn’t have bought the house because of that, but I could have included it in some negotiations.

Offers -So you found a house you like! Now the scary part. 

-You’ll get a sense of the market from your realtor, and they can usually advise you about how quickly you need to move on a potential offer. Sometimes a seller will give a deadline themselves: they call this “best and highest.” So they’ll say “we’re hearing offers at 3pm tomorrow” or “we’re asking for best and highest on Monday.” Generally that’s the cutoff for receiving viable offers. -In the market when I was buying, it was pretty common for houses to sell for 20-40K over the asking price. Again, some houses would be listed too high or too low, as I mentioned before, but on average that’s what I was working with. There were also a TON of offers on all the properties I liked. The lowest number of offers on a house I tried to get was 5, the highest was 19. That is kind of insane. In a slower market, when you’re not competing with that many people, you can offer closer to the asking price (or some people just say “asking” as in “20 over asking”) -The first thing I did when I decided to put in an offer, was to talk to my realtor so he could start getting the paperwork together. You can’t just email the seller and say “i want your house,” there are legal documents that have to be drawn up to make it a binding agreement if it’s accepted. -My folks bought their house without a realtor and did all the negotiating, etc, themselves, but they still needed a realtor friend to do the paperwork for them. If you go that route, you can probably do more informal offers, but IDK how that works. -The next thing I did was contact my lender for the following things: 1. I gave them the address and asked “Does this fall within certain DPAs?” 2. I asked them to run some numbers for me. Usually it was a version of: “What would my monthly payment be if I offered $240K and put down $5K in earnest money, and if I had $20K of downpayment assistance? How about if I offered $245K or $250K? What if I only put down $2500?” This helped me figure out what kind of offer I could reasonably make, and what it would actually cost me monthly if I got the house. 3. Then, when I decided what I wanted to offer, I would ask for a preapproval letter that includes the address of the property, basically saying “hey we’re a lender and we will give Jay a loan of $XX to buy this house, pinky promise” -I copied S on all my communications with the lender, so he knew what I was considering and he could give advice -(sometimes I saw a house on Friday and had to make an offer by noon on Saturday, leading to me trying to call my lender at 9am on a Saturday morning, which sucked. This is why knowing who’s on your lender’s team and how to contact them matters) -There’s no hard and fast way to decide on a good offer, because you won’t know how many you’re competing against. Sometimes your realtor might be able to chat with the sellers agent and find out how many people saw the property, if they have a sense of how popular it is, but sometimes you want. You want to be able to afford it, but also not go so low that you won’t even be considered. -Usually, your realtor will ask you to write a love letter to the house to include in the offer. “Dear seller, I love your house because of blah blah blah, I can see myself doing blah blah blah, specifics specifics.” Do these matter? I don’t feel like they do but whatever. Make a template and update it for each offer. -One thing to note about this is that you DO NOT want to give information about yourself regarding your status in a protected class (i.e. “we’re a young queer couple; I’m a neurodivergent person; I’m an immigrant/veteran/belong to X racial group”). It might seem like that would be helpful in certain areas, but sellers aren’t legally allowed to pick a buyer based on those things, so it ends up working against you.  You can talk about what you do as a job or as a hobby, if you’re an artist, if you’re a parent, if you have pets, if you know who else will be living int he house with you, etc. You can hint at things. But S was very clear with me about keeping it pretty general and about the house. -Once you’ve decided on the $$$ you’re offering, you need to decide if there’s anything else to add to “sweeten the pot.” For some people, that’s saying “my timeline is totally flexible, so if you need to close in a month that’s fine, and if you need to close in 4 months that’s fine.” A lot of people choose to waive inspections. -OHHHHHH Ye olde inspection. Dear God. -The inspection is basically a thing where you hire a professional to look at the house before you officially seal the deal, and they tell you if there are things you need to be concerned about. So if the inspector comes in and says “yeah this roof is going to cave in in a year,” you can use that in your negotiation and say “look, I’m going to lower my offer by $15K, because I will need a new roof in a year.” then it’s up to the seller to decide if they want to agree to that, or if they want to try again to find a buyer who hopefully would not get an inspection. -to “waive an inspection” means that you’re agreeing to skip this step -OK so my instinct was always “I will NEVER waive the inspection,” and a lot of people feel that way. HOWEVER, I did not get certain houses because the people who did offered exactly what I did and waived the inspection. There was a buyer who had made SEVENTEEN OFFERS and beat me out on a house, and they got that house after SEVENTEEN OTHER TRIES because they waived an inspection. -I did get an inspection with my house, which was lucky and also thanks to S being a great negotiator. -I waived it on one of my offers -I would say I’d be comfortable waiving an inspection if: 1. You or your realtor knows shit about buildings, codes, etc. S knew a lot, so was able to look at things like furnaces, windows, basement beams, foundations, etc etc. 2. The important parts of the house are easily visible. Usually this means an unfinished basement. if the basement is finished, you probably can’t see all the structural things you’d need to 3. You’re already planning to do a bunch of work on a house, so you’re offering a lower bid and budgeting to do renovations anyway -At the end of the day, it’s your call. More about inspections below. -Most people who buy houses have mortgages, meaning that they can’t just drop $250K on a house. However, some people got it like that, so they make what is called a cash offer. Cash offers will win out every time, because they are usually higher, are easier for the sellers, and will often waive inspections. Depending on your region and your budget, you may or may not see this. I got screwed SO MANY TIMES and so did my friends, by all-cash, no inspection offers. The majority of these are from people who are buying properties to rent out or Airbnb - they won’t live there so they don’t really care if it’s solid, and my budget range seemed to be about where rich people who don’t want to flip a house felt comfortable buying. It was annoying. -but hey if you got it like that, go for it. -Once you have all the terms of your offer figured out, your realtor will send you the official offer paperwork that you’ll sign (prob. digitally). Then they’ll send it over to the seller and be in charge of all that communication. If the seller comes back with a counter, or with questions, your realtor will bring that to you. They may advise you, but at the end of the day it is up to you what you’ll offer and what you’ll accept.

You got accepted!

-Holy cats, they said yes to your offer and your terms! This is a huge moment to celebrate! I cried! And obsessively looked at pictures of the house over and over -The seller may come back to you with some proposed adjustments. In my case they wanted to round the selling price up by $1K, which I agreed to. (IDK why they cared, but in the grand scheme that was fine). They also wanted to change some of the verbiage in the offer that didn’t actually affect anything. -The first thing you’ll need to do is put down the earnest money. That is usually held in a trust or something similar until closing. But basically, if you said you’d put down $5K of your own money in the offer, you have to prove you have it right away. So don’t offer to put down earnest money that you don’t have! -The higher this number, the more appealing your offer generally is -There are a lot of things that will need to wait until you close, so this period of time feels really weird -You’ll have a purchase agreement (along with any addendums or changes) that basically says “I’m Jay and I offer $XX, the seller agreed to the price and the terms, we’ll see how it goes from here and if it all goes well, this deal will go through” -I’m gonna say it now, don’t ask me about escrow. Escrow is basically like an account where money lives between you and the bank. You pay extra into this account so that if something happens and you can’t pay what you agreed, the bank still gets the money for a certain period of time. or something like that, I don’t know, it gives me a headache. I’m sure other people understand it better.

Next steps

Inspection -If you included an inspection in your offer/purchase agreement, you’ll want to set that up within a few days. (Don’t worry about booking “last minute,” inspectors pretty much always work on that kind of schedule. Very few people are booking inspectors weeks in advance. This was something I felt bad about, but it’s okay)

-Inspections are pricey, and usually have different packages that include different things. I chose to do the sewer scope bc I had a friend who found some crazy sewer issues and I didn’t want to deal with it. Your realtor can probably give you advice on what you might need. -Inspector look at a lot of things: all your systems (like heating, cooling, pipes, electricity, etc),  your windows, roof, foundation, gutters, attics, floors, plumping, appliances, etc. -They do NOT open walls/ceilings/floors, etc. So if it’s not visible, they won’t be able to report on it.  -They’ll send you a big ol’ report, and if you can be there with them they’ll do a walk through with you to talk over big issues. Your realtor should come to that as well, as they might have good questions. -After you have the information, you have to decide if there are any big issues that need to be addressed. The inspector will flag things that are a problem legally, but it’s up to you how much you care about them. Some will be easy fixes. Others might be deal breakers that mean you decide to walk away from the property entirely. Most things will be in the middle.  -Note that some things are legally “issues” but practically may not matter. There are certain outlets on the outside of my house that aren’t right, but I don’t intend to use them much and if it turns out I need to, it’s not that expensive to switch them out. My basement stairs are an absolutely death trap, but my laundry is upstairs and so i dont really need to use them much. I could spend like $4K to replace them, but I don’t care at this point, and it’s not a big issue for me. But legally they are terrible. -Some things may be an absolute problem that the seller needs to deal with before you’ll agree to by the house. -You and your realtor will come up with a list of things you want to tell the seller to fix before closing. They might fight you on some of them, and again that’s why the realtor being a good negotiator matters. -Generally, you want to ask for fixes on the important things, without asking for every little thing, so the seller doesn’t decide you’re too much trouble and they could probably back out and get a better offer that wouldn’t cost them as much in repairs. -for me, the garage door was busted so they defnitely needed to fix that. There was a pipe that was put in wrong that was a quick fix. And there were birds in the attic, so they needed to clear those out and go through and block up all the entry points in the room. All of these requests were reasonable, and the sellers agreed to them. -At this point, it’s up to you if you want to pay for a re-inspection (i.e. the inspector coming back to verify that they did all the work they were supposed to). I didn’t—instead I had them give me all the receipts from the work that was done along with photos and video of the work. That way if something is a problem in the future, I can contact the companies that did the work and take advantage of warranties, etc.

Home Service Warranty -Speaking of warranties! There’s a thing called a Home Service Warranty that you’ll need to decide on. Mine is through American Home Shield. Basically this is a warranty that covers things in your house. There are different levels of coverage, so some just cover the big things like windows/roof/furnace/water heater/etc. As you upgrade, it’ll include things like stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. -If you’re getting your own warranty, you basically pay a certain amount per month for the coverage. Then if any of the covered things break down, it get’s fixed for free (plus a small service charge. For me that’s $125). So if your inspector tells you “hey, you’ve got about a year left on this water heater” or “the furnace has some issues that might come up in a few years” you could save a BUNCH of money by having this coverage. -My realtor got this warranty included in my purchase agreement, so the seller is actually paying for a. year of my coverage at he upgraded level. This is SICK AS HELL and not every realtor will think of it—definitely mention it to yours. I didn’t even think of it as an option. Basically what this means is that if any of my stuff breaks this first year, I can get it replaced for very cheap AND I don’t even have to pay the monthly coverage fee. -When I moved in, my shower was broken. I tried to fix it, but the called AHS and I only paid $125 for a plumber to come look at it, order parts (which would have been pricey since my house is pretty old), and fix it for me. I hate my fridge, so I have a goal to break it this year so I can get a new one for free.

Appraisal -Okay, so you got the seller to agree to your fixes, everything is moving apace. It is time for the GOD DAMN APPRAISAL -(for many people, the appraisal is fine and is not GOD DAMN anything. For me, it was a nightmare and I didn’t sleep for like 2 weeks) -Okay so what is an appraisal. Basically, the seller said “my house is worth $XX” you said “I’ll pay $XX for it.” Your lender said “we’ll give Jay a loan for $XX.” But now someone else has to look at the house and determine if it’s a fair price for the house. This is what really determines the loan you’ll get (this is also why what you’ve gotten so far is a pre-approval. They’ve basically said “you’re capable of paying back a loan of $XX, but we need an outside agency to determine if this house is worth is”) -The appraiser will look at the house, inspection reports, and other sales of similar houses in your area. Ideally, this helps them determine if the price you and the seller have agreed on is in line with what is reasonable. -Banks are not going to give you a $400K loan on a potting shed in a ditch -It’s all complicated and this is where a lot of shit in the Housing Crisis came from -Basically, you want the appraisal to come at or higher than your purchase price. (if it comes in higher, do a little dance bc you got a deal) -If it comes in lower, you can be in trouble. That’s what happened to me. -A note about rules & regs - lenders cannot talk directly to appraisers. This is because of the housing crisis and all the shady backroom deals that were happening (i.e. if you appraise this house at this price, we’ll give you Mr. Appraiser Guy some kickbacks from the extra money we’re making in mortgage interest or whatever). In practical terms, this means it takes FOREVER to get messages to all the parties involved.  -If the appraisal comes in low, you can ask for a reappraisal. It’s up to the appraiser if they agree. There are rules about this. -What Happened To Me: OK so my house is in a historically Black and immigrant neighborhood (read, historically redlined). This means a lot of the properties here are undervalued based on other locations. In a hot market, even undervalued properties can go up in price in a big way. In a slow market, that doesn’t happen so much. My appraiser only wanted to pull comps (meaning comparable sales of similar houses in the same area) in my exact neighborhood. However, there hadn’t been any sales of similar size/age/etc houses in my exact neighborhood since last winter. Guess what the market is like in the winter in Minnesota! Fucking SLOW boy. So these comps were coming in like $20K lower than my agreed price. So my realtor and lender took a look and said “look, if we widen out a little bit to these nearby neighborhoods, we can see all these more recent sales that are closer to our price.” It took two weeks of back and forth to get the appraiser to agree to add some of these comps to the appraisal. He was really reluctant to look outside my immediate area, because my neighborhood is of “lower value” than the surrounding areas. Structural racism, baby. Not against me, but against my neighbors and everyone who’s lived in this area for the past 150 years. Hooray. Finally, I got a re-appraisal that was $8K lower than my purchase price. So I was in a pickle. I had an agreement with the seller saying I’ll pay $XX, while the bank is now saying “we’ll only give you a loan for $XX-minus-$8K.” So either I need to come up with $8K MORE of a down payment in earnest money, or I need the purchase price to go down. Or i need to find more assistance. HERE IS WHERE HAVING S MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. He went to the seller and basically used his status and significant experience to say “Look, you can either agree to lower the purchase price by $8K, or we all walk away. If we walk away, this means you have to re-list the house, wait for more offers. And then even if you get an offer as good as or better than Jay’s, that person will still need to go through the appraisal process. So...  you’ll probably be right back here. The only chance you have of skipping appraisal is if someone comes in with a cash offer, meaning they won’t need a loan and no bank is involved. But for a lot of the reasons the appraisal is low, those types of buyers (who often want rentals/vacation rental properties) ain’t looking to buy in this neighborhood.”

(or that’s what I imagine he said. It was probably smarter)

ANYWAY, all that to say a MIRACLE occurred, and the seller agreed to lower the purchase price of the house by $8K. I can tell you the whole story of how I found out over a drink sometime, but let me tell you I wepttttttt

-Anyhow, once the appraisal is good and you’re pretty sure the deal is going through, you gotta get insurance. call a bunch of places, figure out what coverage you need, see if it’s cheaper or easier to put car/life/etc in the same place. You have to have insurance if you have a home loan - basically the bank owns the house, so it’s in their interest to have it covered in case of disaster.

Closing

-I’m going to be quick on this, because it’s super technical and I only kind of understand it. -Closing is basically the day where you sign all the paperwork, after which the house is yours! Then you can start moving, renovating, decorating, whatever you want. -One of the things that’s part of closing is the Title and Title Insurance. Basically, you need to pay to have the paper that says you own the house, and then you have to pay for insurance on that piece of paper. Why. IDK.  -At this point there’s so many random fees and charges, I just kind of looked at the totals and made sure nothing was way out of range of what I expected.  -A few days before closing, you should have the following: 1. receipts/evidence from any fixes made to the house or a re-inspection report 2. Closing disclosures, which basically means any information that’s attatched to the deed for the home. This can include unpaid property taxes, any weird liens on the property, any easement agreements with neighbors you should know about, etc. 3. All the paperwork you will sign! -It is in your best interest to read ALL OF IT if you can. (the title person was surprised I’d read mine, which I found super worrying lol) -If you are buying a house by yourself, you will not BELIEVE how many times you will read “Jay, A SINGLE PERSON, is buying a house ALONE AND BY THEMSELF, as a SINGLE UNMARRIED ALONE PERSON” Very judgy. What are you, my grandma? -One thing about disclosures—it’s up to your title company to do research on weird shit that might be attached to your property. You can technically choose your title company, but I wouldn’t not recommend looking for the cheapest option if the company doesn’t have much of a track record. I had an issue come up with a payment the seller owed that was delayed, and my title company had to be the one that caught that. My friend and his husband got in trouble because some seller 5 years ago didn’t pay property taxes, and so the IRS came for THEM. The title company should have caught that before they closed and had it dealt with. They won’t end up paying it, but it’s a huge pain and they have to argue with the IRS which is never fun. -On closing day, you’ll do a final walk through with your realtor. This is your last chance to bring up any issues! You DEFINITELY want to do this walk through. If the seller left the door unlocked and an entire family has taken up residence in the living room, you need to know! If the contractor they hired to fix the plumbing knocked a new whole in the wall, you need to know! Don’t expect that the seller will tell you about any new issues that they caused. -This is your last chance to say “Hey, there’s a new major issue that wasn’t reporting, i ain’t signing shit until we re-negotiate” -If you find yourself in this situation (hopefully you won’t!) PLEASE don’t be afraid to say something! Don’t worry about how much time and money has already been put into it, or about calling out a seller who is acting in bad faith or fucked somethign up. This is your house! It matters! And your realtor should have your back. -But most of the time, the final walk through is fine! Then you go somewhere to sign all the paperwork. If you’re like me and have 3 different types of DPA, it will be two giant folders worth of paperwork.  -Once you sign the paperwork with the Title Company, they’ll put the paperwork through. After that happens, the bank should transfer the whole ass agreed amount to the seller. Also, if your DPA is in the form of other smaller loans from other sources, those should be paying to the seller at the same time. -in MY case, one of my DPAs took 3 hours to process for some reason, so I had the most anti-climactic closing ever. I signed everything, waited for an hour and a half, and then they were like “you can go, we’ll email you when you officially own the house” So I just awkwardly hung around and ate pancakes until I got the email. -Let’s say you have a relative who wants to help you out with your downpayment (Yay! Every little bit counts!) Or let’s say you’re living with someone who doesn’t want the house to be in their name, but they want to contribute to these initial costs. You’ll want to talk to your lender about this as soon as you know about it. There is special paperwork for “gifts” that basically let’s it go directly to you downpayment but it doesn’t count towards your income. So if Grandma Bob says “I got $10K for you” and you just deposit the check in your account and plan to pay $10K more in earnest money, that will suddenly look like you have $10K more money to your name, so might change how your loan and DPA shake out. But if you get Grandma Bob to sign a particular document and give you a certified check, you can just give that right to the Title person and it goes right to making your downpayment bigger, therefore making your loan smaller! Thanks Grandma Bob! -”Cash to close” is essentially what you are paying at closing via all sources. So that’s your downpayment (including all assistance) any gifts, your earnest money, etc. Sometimes you have additional closing costs. They may be covered by DPA, or you may be on the hook to write an additional check. You’ll know this in advance. -Hey, check it out, you own a house now! -(keep all your paperwork0 -They’ll give you a document you have the file with the city called Homestead filing, basically telling the city that you own a house and you live there.

NOW WHAT?

-Now I’m done telling you things. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more, but also talk to professionals in your region who know things. -I started writing this post before I closed in July 2023. It’s now mid-November, and I’ve been living here for 3 months. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned that might be helpful: 1. It’s good to know what kid of walls you have (drywall vs. plaster and lathe, etc) because that determines how you can hang things on them. Also if you have plaster walls, just get a cheap magnetic stud finder. The fancy electronic ones often don’t work 2. It’s good to have a drill. It just is. 3. If there’s a big project you need done (say your garage is too short for your goddamn car), you may qualify for a home improvement loan from the same kind of orgs that give DPA. I’m doing it just because I don’t want to drop $3K in one go. Technically I have 4 years to pay it off, but I’m going to make larger monthly payments and pay it offer quicker than that.  4. We can talk about contractors and permit and zoning all day. Suffice to say, it’s good to look up who to talk to at the city about construction permits, and they can be both incredibly confusing and very nice. Often at the same time. 5. If you’re gonna have a roommate or partner or non-child family member who is paying you monthly to help with the mortgage, DRAW UP A LEASE. You want shit in writing, and they have rights as tenants that need to be respected. Many a relationship has been saved by PUTTING SHIT IN WRITING. (there are templates you can find) 6. FEELINGS: People always tell you “You won’t know how you feel about X until you do it.” Getting a dog, moving away from your folks, living with a partner, whatever. I am here as an old man to tell you, they are right. I had no idea I would have such BIG FEELINGS about this lil old house. When I come home and my roommate has the lights on and it has a glow, I feel so much that sometimes I cry! Setting things up, making decisions about organization, learning how to be in my space, means so so much more to me now than it ever did when I was renting. The stress is greater, too, because I have to make all the decisions! It’s exhausting! But every day in my house I am so happy to be here, I’m so glad my other offers weren’t accepted, because this is the best of the houses I looked at. It is my 117 year old baby and I love it forever.

Also I never want to do this again lol I’ve decided to die here.

[chronicallycouchbound]

Unhoused Solidarity In Action

This is a non-exhaustive list of resources you might have access to, or know of, that can be used to aid unhoused community members directly. Many of these focus on direct mutual aid as individuals but can be helpful to consider when in community organizing settings. - What do you (or someone you know) have access to, that you can provide to the community? - Can they be accessed, used, or provided: regularly, occasionally, only in emergencies, weekly, daily, sporadically, consistently, etc.? - Consider seasonal needs (winter coats don’t help us when it’s 90 degrees out!) - Remember to practice active, informed consent with individuals and ask if these would be helpful! Don’t take it personally if your offer isn’t helpful to someone, it might help someone else. - These should be realistic and not compromise your safety or well-being. Remember to prioritize safety over comfort.

Housing

- Consider your relationship with this person (generally, don’t offer complete strangers into your home)

- Location matters a lot. Unhoused people often need to be near “hubs”/cities, close to resources and systems of care.

- Some people can’t live in hotels, couch surf, or any of these options without losing their housing vouchers, and in some cases health insurance or other assistance programs. Legal definitions of homelessness (used by voucher programs) usually don’t include people living in hotels/motels, or couch surfing (including most of these options). Check with the individual to see if this might be helpful.

Extra bedrooms

Campers, trailers

Couches

Apartments

Land/yards to camp on, park at, etc.

Donate funds or points for a hotel room

Shelters

Floor space

Safe parking lots to sleep in your car in (sleeping in your car is considered legal homelessness in most places)

Time

- Emotional capacity and minimizing the risk of burnout are important here especially

Do outreach with a community org

File for grants

Provide education materials

Share knowledge regarding resources

Emotional support - build genuine connections with your local unhoused neighbors

Reach out to companies for donations

Create or add to lists of resources, open bathrooms, etc.

Transportation

- One of the biggest barriers to accessing existing resources is transportation (also mailing addresses, internet access, and active phone service)

Personal car, ride-sharing/carpooling

Bus tickets/passes

Old/not frequently used bikes

Taxi services/vouchers

Uber/Lift gift cards

Carpooling

Coordinate rides for people

Food

- A lot of unhoused people prefer “comfort foods” to “health foods” - Ask about dietary restrictions, the cooking ability of the unhoused person, the cooking equipment, etc. - Soft foods are frequently more accessible to us as dental issues are very common - 100$ in fast food is significantly less than 100$ in homemade food

Can cook hot meals

Can pay for meals

Knows someone (person, business) who can supply food

Inviting people over for a meal

Gifting food (be sure to be considerate of dietary restrictions, cooking ability, equipment needed to cook, etc.)

Have a community dunkin gift card

Make or add to a fruit tree map (fallingfruit.org, community gardens, federal university campuses)

Money

- Money should be freely given, with no strings attached - Ask what form works best for them— cash apps/virtual, physical cash, gift cards, quarters, etc.

It is best to provide cash donations directly to impacted individuals (or organizations) with no strings attached

Provide relevant, local chain store gift cards (Grocery stores, coffee shops, restaurants)

Coordinate fundraisers

Apply for grants

Supplies

- Ask individuals what they need most!

Purchase and donate supplies directly to individuals or organizations

Reach out to businesses

Donate old phones or computers

Add someone to your family phone plan

Donate professional clothes for interviews

Donate an outfit you would actually wear

Talents, Trades, Skills

Your hobbies might be helpful! Crochet is extremely trendy right now (easy to learn, you could make hats/scarves for community members)!

Professional ties/experience Examples: You’re a cosmetologist who can do free haircuts for an hour each week, or you’re a graphic designer who can create a website for an organization for free, or you’re a nurse who can provide wound care to encampments

Community gardens

Connect with and partner with non-profits or community-based organizations in your area (or help start one if there’s none!)

Allow people to use you as a reference for job interviews

Bathrooms

- Not just toilets, but showers and mirrors are important too

Ask businesses to pledge to have open, public, accessible, and free restrooms

Your personal restroom

Make a list of local public restrooms

Free gym memberships or add someone to a gym plan

Services

- In order to access most services, you need most, if not all, of the following: transportation, identification, important paperwork, printing/faxing access, mailing addresses, internet access, active phone service, free time during business hours, and emotional and mental ability (and capacity) to complete everything required (forms, applications, phone calls, interviews, annual reviews, verifications) in a timely manner (usually on a strict deadline)

Case management experience you can volunteer

Peer support for service navigation (great option for people with prior lived experience)

Advocacy within services

Offer to provide a P.O. box or use your address to receive mail

Housing skills

Allow someone to use your library card for books, computers, the internet, etc. (most libraries won’t allow unhoused people to get a library card)

Volunteer at a shelter

Allow someone to use your home wifi, printer, phone number, mailbox, email, etc.

Fundraising

- If you can’t donate your own personal funds, fundraising is a great way to help out

Community mutual aid asks (in person or online)

Art walks

Skate competition

Concerts

Tip jar

Gift basket raffle

Clothing and food drive

Game tourney

Live streams

Start a GoFundMe for individuals/orgs

I strongly encourage you to look over the matching slides I created for this workshop: https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1VDngImsMByUFmKX611zAJ43a0UcYIfMBxrbh_g1IJvc/edit

As a disclaimer: I have been homeless/unhoused for over half of my life. My experiences of homelessness have included while being a infant, toddler, young child, preteen, teenager, and young adult. I am 24 years old. My most recent experience of being unhoused was last year, and I am currently precariously housed (meaning: at high risk of losing housing again). My experiences of homelessness have included sleeping outside in a tent, sleeping on park benches and under freeways, walking around all night to avoid hypothermia and freezing to death (something that has happened to several of my friends), couch surfing, sleeping in cars, squatting, sleeping in motels, living in a shelter, and institutionalized. I have been homeless with family a few times during early childhood and again when I was 15. All of my other experiences of homelessness have been on my own starting at age 9 or 10, and the last time I lived with a parent I was 16. I have been homeless in both rural and urban areas. I have been homeless in New England/Northeast United States as well as the Pacific Northwest.

In addition to this, I have many contributing factors to my experience, including being disabled, a person of color, trans, queer, a survivor of child abuse and CSA, being trafficked, and a drug user and a SWer, amongst other marginalized experiences.

That being said: my experience of being unhoused/homeless is not the universal experience. While I know many people of all different demographics who I’ve met on the streets, I cannot speak to every single person’s experiences. I especially cannot speak to experiences outside of the United States, aside from what I hear secondhand.

This is meant to serve as a general guide to accompany a workshop I created, and might not be helpful for everyone. If it’s not helpful, I hope it inspires others to offer creative solutions. I’m always working on expanding this list. Thank you for reading.

[theweirdgoodbyes]

hey hii. for the prompt request. For Sledgefu can I pair the Office AU and dialogue O 😄 thank you

Thanks for the ask! ❤️ @lamialamia

“Hey, Gene?”

Eugene looks up from where he’s furiously typing away at his keyboard to see Sid hanging over his cubicle with a look of concern.

“What’s up?” Eugene asks, thankful for the opportunity to take a break from his e-mail fight with Mackenzie in HR. Transferring his health insurance from his parents to King & Co.’s had been a three week shit show and Eugene was close to emailing Mackenzie back with “give me dental or I’m gonna knock all YOUR teeth out”.

“Don’t look behind you…but I’m pretty sure VS just walked out of Burgin’s office.”

Eugene stares at Sid blankly, at first not remembering what VS stood for.

“VS?”

Sid quickly looks around him before whispering sharply, “Virginity Snatcher.”

Eugene slams his hands down on his desk both in disbelief and to keep from falling out of his chair.

“No!” He cries, shaking his head furiously. No need to keep bothering Mackenzie about insurance; he’s about to jump out the window. “It can’t be him!”

“It is him. No doubt.”

Embarrassingly enough, Eugene is pretty sure the guy told him his real name, but two bottles of champagne on his twenty-first birthday left little to memory. Sid and Mary had taken him to New Orleans to celebrate five years ago, gently supporting him in his mission to finish the night a deflowered man. They had found the busiest bar in town and Eugene made quick work of finding someone to take pity on him. If you asked Mary, Eugene had accosted Virginity Snatcher on the dance floor, but Eugene remembers it as shyly approaching the very handsome man who had been giving him the eye since they walked in. One thing led to another and the guy took Eugene’s virginity in the back of Sid’s Rav-4, a magical yet blurred experience. What unfortunately stands out clearest in his head is Virginity Snatcher going in for a post-coitus smooch and Eugene puking all over him, blubbering something about being a virgin and ‘you’re so hot and I’m so sorry’.

“This is so bad,” Eugene feels like he’s gonna puke all over again, “I lost his number. I puked on him. I told him I was a virgin and never spoke to him again.”

“Yeah, I remember, my car smelled for weeks.”

“What is he doing here?” Eugene whispers furiously, not noticing Sid’s eyes widen as they focus on something behind him. He was never supposed to see this guy again, “I was never supposed to-“

“Gene, Sid. I’d like you to meet Merriell from our New Orleans branch.”

Eugene slowly turns his chair to see Burgin and Merriell standing behind him. The man formerly known as Virginity Snatcher’s jaw drops when he makes eye contact with Eugene. He’s somehow even hotter than he used to be, looking much more professional in a button up and tie than he did in the tank and shorts Eugene had met him in. They stare at each other in silence and Eugene can feel his face getting red.

Burgin looks back and forth between them with furrowed brow, “How do you know each other?”

At the same time Merriell and Eugene answer, “We don’t.”

“Ookay,” Burgin says, obviously not believing a fucking word, “Well, Merriell will be with us from here on out as my assistant. Any problems you have can go to him. Lemme show you the break room.”

I fucked him and never talked to him again, is that a problem I should go to him with? Eugene thinks, giving a small wave to Burgin and Merriell as they walk away, Merriell turning back once to look at him in confusion. Sid covers his hand with his mouth and bites back a laugh. Eugene throws a paperclip at him.

“It’s not funny.”

“It’s very funny. I gotta text Mary.”

Eugene turns back to his computer, finding all his fire about Mackenzie’s bogus requests has fizzled out, replaced by dread that the guy who took his virginity is essentially his boss now.

And it’s only Monday. Fuck.

[sundownsquad]

Regarding ottabura's and sundown, given the missions they take on, i had this thought that made me realise i overlooked something. Force forbid it, but if an ottabura is injuried, is it a company effort to help heal their beloved droid yeeter 5000, or does someone take on the role as the official otta veterinarian?

The answer is, yes and both! The entire squad actively work together to take care of the ottas, so any effort with them is a team effort, basically. However, Kess is the one that took on the roll as the designated "otta vet" of the squad.

When the squad were undergoing their original commando training, they received more thorough battlefield medical training than the average trooper. This was due to the fact that the squad would often be operating as a single unit far away from anywhere they could receive immediate medical assistance, so they would need to rely on themselves. Kess, on top of that, received additional advanced training through the Combat Lifesaver programs. This would allow him to adequately care for the rest of the squad in case of more serious injury so they could make it back to a medical center.

This extra training meant Kess had no issues transitioning to managing the otta's medical needs. He took responsibility for the otta's regular medical care (basic physicals, vaccination schedules, deworming, etc.), wound care (Nitsani is a big help here, too), and also became well versed in otta diseases and other ailments. Though he and the squad are able to manage the majority of the otta's care themselves, they still make sure to have the ottas seen by professionals whenever possible. Especially when it comes to more advanced procedures like dental work.

But, in cases like the one pictured above, when one of the ottas gets a small injury from playing too hard and completely biffing it after tripping over a log, then the squad can handle it.

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[ask-a-vetblr]

I heard at some point that supervised chewing of large (ie, too large to eat) raw bones can assist with cat's dental health - is this true? Does the risk of bacterial contamination outweigh usefulness?

I unfortunately ended up uncritically believing the raw food crowd's claims for a bit (at least about cats, cause i don't know that much about cats) before doing further research, and I think that claim was from one of them, so I'm curious and suspicious.

Hi, Sueanoi here.

There is a research that states "There is reasonable evidence that soft diets are associated with increased frequency and severity of periodontal disease, and that harder foods requiring vigorous prehension and mastication are preferable for dogs and cats."

So according to that, raw bones probably do something more than soft meats. However, from my own anecdote, raw bone chews isn't as good as dental chew toys. and dental chew toys isn't as good as regular brushing.

I've only recently tried the fresh breath drops. result is still pending to me, so i will not comment about that.

I live in Southeast Asia, the Paradise of Parasite. I will never recommend raw food as bacteria here *flourish* in raw stuff. While there are people who can successfully do it, it's not easy nor safe to try without extensive education on how to do it right, with the correct nutrition percentage and contamination control. As this research states in its entire section about health risk (please click and read that. It's a lot.)

*If you have that education and training, i will not stop you.* however, I have had to treat animals that get self prescribed antibiotics to the point of everything is resistant. I WILL give you a judgy eyes when we have that talk.

If you can't brush your cat's teeth (which, honestly, the majority of cat owners can't) a routine professional cleaning with a vet is recommended to prevent uncontrolled dental problems. Perhaps once a few years, or sooner if your cat has an on-going dental disease.

I hope this answer helps.