#President Elmo
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#New Year 2025#MAGA#MAGAts#GOP#President Musk#President Elmo#Donnie D-Cups#Election 2024#veterans benefits#social security#Medicare#cost of eggs#mass deportations#H1B visas
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out of context comments from @infectiouspiss 2025 prediction list
see the original post here
#please see the original post linked#2025 predictions#dan and phil#phan#dan howell#phil lester#daniel howell#amazingphil#danisnotonfire#trump#trump administration#donald trump#usa#usa politics#joe biden#biden administration#president trump#elon musk#twitter#elmo sesame street#elmo#sesame street#hbo#hbo max#bugs#new bug#kickthepj#ai#space#conspiracy theories
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I think its so funny (sad) how my TikTok fyp is Political videos and Sesame Street. Everyone is so stressed out Elmo is back telling us take a break and do Positive Affirmations.
#guys its so funny isnt it! (🫠 if i don't laugh im gonna cry)#us politics#politics#usa#usa politics#usa president#donald trump#kamala harris#presidential election#us elections#elmo sesame street#elmo#elmo monster#*having a mental breakdown* thank you elmo
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Happy Presidents Day!
#sesame street#elmo#elmo the musical#president#presidents day#oval office#muppet#muppets#gif#muppet gif#muppets gif#sesame street gif#gifs of puppets
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Muppet Fact #961
On Mrs. Bush’s Story Time, Count von Count read Strega Nona, Elmo read The Adventures of Frog and Toad, Big Bird read Arthur Meets the President, Oscar the Grouch read Gregory, the Terrible Eater, and Grover read Doctor De Soto.
Source:
Mrs. Bush’s Story Time. Muppet Wiki.
#muppet facts oc#jim henson#the muppets#muppets#muppet facts#fun facts#Mrs. Bush’s Story Time#big Bird#oscar the grouch#the count#count von count#grover#elmo#The Adventures of Frog and Toad#Doctor De Soto#Gregory the terrible eater#Arthur Meets the President#strega nona
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Happy Birthday to Louie and Elmo, “The Fat Cats.” Their first and only cartoon “Drip Dry Drips” directed by Jon McClenahan, was released on Cartoon Network’s “What a Cartoon!” on July 16th, 1995. Ken Hudson Campbell and Hank Azaria voiced the brothers Louie and Elmo. Tony Cervone and I created “Fat Cats” at StarToons in Chicago. It was the first cartoon that we wrote and boarded together.
#Spike Brandt#Tony Cervone#Jon McClenahan#What a Cartoon#The Fat Cats#Cartoon Network#CN#Hanna Barbera#HB#StarToons#Fat Cats#Louie#Elmo#president#Ken Hudson Campbell#Hank Azaria#Doug James#birthday#anniversary#watercolor painting
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on this tully tuesday, fuck you ryan condal, i see what you're doing. merging kermit and oscar tully and killing off their dad elmo without even naming him, you're trying to hide the muppet-naming pattern by only including the more mundane names. people may have heard of the name grover elsewhere like nonconsective us president grover cleveland, and certainly would with oscar like oscar mayar, the baloney/weiner man, but if you hear the names elmo and/or kermit you're thinking muppets right away. smdh, if you can embrace the gothic horror of harrenhal, you should be able to embrace the whimsy of grrm naming his dance-era tullys after sesame street muppets.
#house of the dragon#one fish two fish red fish blue fish#grover tully#elmo tully#kermit tully#oscar tully#ngl i have been waiting so long just to see a dance tully lad i was still p happy w oscar#some of y'all memorize the names of all the targs and their spouses while i know the exact succession of muppet tullys#(c)lsb
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In 2016, far right trolls helped to give Donald Trump the presidency. In 2020, their efforts to do again were thwarted — barely — by attempts to limit the impact of disinformation and violence. But in advance of 2024, Elmo has reversed all that. Xitter has preferentially valued far right speech, starting with Elmo’s increasingly radicalized rants. More importantly, Xitter has preferentially valued speech that totally undercuts rational thought. Elmo has made Xitter a Machine for irrational far right hate speech. The one thing that may save us is that this Machine for Fascism has destroyed Xitter’s core value to aspiring fascists: it has destroyed Xitter’s role as a public square, from which normal people might find valuable news. In the process, Elmo has destroyed Twitter’s key role in bridging from the far right to mainstream readers. But it’s not for lack of trying to make Xitter a Machine for Fascism.
Elon Musk's Machine for Fascism: A Tale of Three Elections - emptywheel
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Things that happened before the playbills released:
-Elmo appeared on national news for a Tweet he made.
-Gravity Falls gained a resurgence in relevance after Bill Cipher published a book.
-The general public turned against MrBeast.
-Youtooz revealed they had Skylanders figures in production, the franchise's first new material in six years.
-A Ben 10 comic was announced from Dynamite Entertainment.
-Joe Biden dropped out of the presidential race, handing the Democrat ticket to current Vice President Kamala Harris.
-The Sonic the Hedgehog twitter account posted a video of Shadow dressed as Batman, which turned out to be a teaser for a five-issue crossover series.
-The first episode of Phineas and Ferb season five was produced.
-A fully CG-animated Transformers movie was released to glowing reviews.
-YouTuber Douglas "DougDoug" Wreden raised over $600,000 in donations to the Monterey Bay Aquarium.
-LEGO sets themed after The Legend of Zelda, Animal Crossing and The Nightmare Before Christmas were released.
-FNAF fans learned the true identity of Phone Guy.
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President Elmo.
Vice-President Vance.
First Concubine Donnie.
#Jasmine Crockett#President Elmo#Donnie D-Cups#Fuckstick von Clownface#MAGA#MAGAts#red hats#GOP#everything you wanted#JD Vance#Putin's bitch#puppet#Lil' MAGA Mikey#failure
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Recently watched: MaXXXine (2024). Tagline: “She’s gonna be a star no matter what it takes!” MaXXXine, of course, represents the hotly anticipated concluding chapter of the juicy elevated horror trilogy beginning with X (2022) and the prequel Pearl (2022) by director Ti West and leading lady Mia Goth. I’ve been yearning to see this one for what felt like an eternity. Its trailer (soundtracked by the Laura Branigan classic “Self-Control”) was so tantalizing it tormented me! We watched MaXXXine last weekend and it was - OK! I felt like I was willing it to be better. Of the three films, MaXXXine is definitely the slightest and flimsiest entry. Maybe my expectations were unrealistically high and the remarkable Pearl (which I consider a modern masterwork) set an impossibly high bar for this follow-up. Anyway, there is still much to enjoy. Set in 1985 Los Angeles, MaXXXine unfolds against a backdrop of satanic panic paranoia, the rise of Tipper Gore’s censorious Parents Music Resource Centre, Ronald Reagan’s presidency and the Night Stalker’s reign of terror. Goth returns as driven, burning-with-ambition porn starlet Maxine Minx. Now 33, she knows it’s now or never if she’s ever going to transition from skin flicks into legit cinema (well, a low-budget slasher movie entitled Puritan II in this case). “In this industry, women age like bread not wine” she laments. But just as stardom finally seems within Maxine’s grasp, her friends start getting gruesomely picked-off one by one by a serial killer … MaXXXine boasts an authentically scuzzy, grungy discount bin VHS vibe. The soundtrack pumps with 80s tunes (ZZ Top. Frankie Goes to Hollywood. “Obsession” by Animotion. Kim Carnes’ “Bette Davis Eyes.” John Parr’s theme tune to St Elmo’s Fire. And yes, Laura Branigan). Aficionados of 1980s trash cinema will revel in West’s references to the likes of Savage Streets (1984), Brian De Palma’s Body Double (1984), Vice Academy (1989), Angel (1984) and Avenging Angel (1985). Goth is a riveting, singular presence and one of THE great actresses currently working (The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw aptly called her the Judy Garland of horror). MaXXXine is a pulpy, grisly down-and-dirty summer thriller – just don’t expect another Pearl!
#maxxxine#x#ti west#x movie#maxine minx#mia goth#pearl#lobotomy room#slasher movies#horror movies#vintage sleaze#cult cinema#elevated horror#retro
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List of things that I think would make a better president than Donald Trump :
-Groot
-A very motivated chicken
-Elmo
-Jar Jar Binks
-The letter B
-my left nipple
-Momo from Avatar the Last Airbender
- the color blue
-my mother's grocery list
(Feel free to add more)
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Tamagotchi Featured on History Channel’s “The Toys That Built America”
Another television appearance for Tamagotchi! This time from the History Channel’s television show “The Toys That Built America” which focuses around iconic toys that were impactful in the United States! How could Tamagotchi not be featured?
Tamagotchi is featured on season 3, episode 9 which originally aired on December 10th, 2023! The episode is 20 minutes in duration, but Tamagotchi sure does get a good mention!
The episode even features Laurie Schacht, the President and Chief Toy Officer at The Toy Insider!
It’s actually a rather brief clip where the interviewers mention the initial craze of the Tamagotchi back in 1997 in the United States, and how quickly they were selling. Comparing it to the toy rock which was a pet with no responsibilities. Noting that it was the hottest toy of the 1997 holiday season.
However it is disappointing that they did not mention the return of Tamagotchi from the Connection series, and now how far the brand has come. Also we did not love how they used images of a fake Tamagotchi during the segment.
Other notable toys mentioned are Teletubbies, Ninja Turtles, Tickle Me Elmo, and more! Really cute episode, be sure to check it out here.
#tamapalace#tamagotchi#tmgc#tamatag#virtualpet#bandai#history#toysthatbuiltamerca#toys that built america
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ELMO TANKED THE GOVERNMENT
TCinLA
Dec 19, 2024
The truth is that Elmo Muck, who apparently considers himself the unelected co-president after spending $150 million to elect Donald Trump, is an Unreconstructed Afrikaner White Supremacist and Broderbund Nazi, whose father took the family to South Africa from Canada because he supported and believed in Apartheid, who has no knowledge of how American politics and government actually works. But his Dunning-Kruger score is so high, he considers himself a genius about everything.
He has little understanding of how anything else actually works, since he’s really an uneducated moron whose “degrees” are phony. His reputation as the “Chief Engineer” comes from his access to his dodgy family’s dodgy fortune made in the dodgy Blood Diamond and Conflict Gem scam in the days of Apartheid, which allowed him to buy other people’s good ideas then steal the credit.
Elmo has now managed to tank the government before his alleged co-president, Felon34 - who seems to believe he became president on November 5 - even manages to take the oath of office next month.
After the bill to provide 84 days of funding to the government and prevent a shutdown at midnight this Friday was released, Elmo wrote on Xitter (that’s pronounced “Shitter”), “Any member of the House or Senate who votes for this outrageous spending bill deserves to be voted out in 2 years!”
Given that the World’s Richest Man could fund primary challengers for every member of The Party of Broken Toys in the House from his couch money, the Broken Toys sat up and listened.
Within hours, Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker followed their leader and condemned the bill, which the Party of Broken Toys then duly tanked.
Felon34 might be coming into office with his highest favorable rating ever, and feeling untouchable after winning the popular vote by a whole 1.52%, but his favorable rating is still only at 46 percent. And that is before the government shuts down over Christmas and New Years.
Elmo then posted on Xitter that “the people (me) have spoken.”
This from the man with a 65% negative poll rating from the people he claims to speak for.
The action now piles the immediate possibility of a government shutdown atop the already high-pressure negotiations over the funding measure, leaving the Right Reverend MAGA Mike in that position traditionally known technically as Up Shit Creek Without A Paddle.
Reverend Mike didn’t have the votes to pass a Continuing Resolution without Democrats - which is why so many shiny Democratic presents were hanging in that Christmas Tree - and now he doesn’t have the Democrats, who are busy passing the popcorn as they watch the shitshow, and he still doesn’t have The Gang That Cannot Work And Play Well With Others, plus he knows there’s at least one assassin out there packing a Motion to Vacate, for use on January 3, 2025.
Government shutdowns - and failed attempts to avoid them by the Broken Toys that 75 million mouthbreathing morons voted for - are now increasingly likely to be the torpedo amidships that sinks Felon34's First 100 Days Honeymoon. They will not be able to fix this once with a full-on vote for a budget, and - assuming they can orgnize a government capable of voting for one limited CR - they will be doing this again and again this year.
That’s actually a Good Thing.
The problem is, most of the Broken Toys are ignoramuses who have no idea how government actually works. They have no understanding of or appreciation for history, so they have no way of becoming knowledgeable about governance. Florida representative Anna Paulina Lunatic went so far this afternoon as to announce she was going to vote against the emergency relief money a majority of those who voted for are in need of after the hurricane that swamped Florida. More importantly, they do not want to govern; they hate government. Thus, they have no ability and no desire to run a government and they don’t care that they don’t know how.
Reverend Mike not only has no majority support from his fellow Broken Toys, he has no support from the alleged leaders of the GOP, Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker. The Corporal was asked several times this afternoon whether he supported Reverend Mike; he failed to reply to any of the multiple questions other than once to say “Have a nice day.”
Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker were unable to get their candidate, Senator Skeletor, in as Senate Majority Leader. Assuming there is one of the Broken Toys they think would be a better speaker, what makes them think they could get the rest of the Broken Toys to vote for that candidate?
What happens if the Broken Toys get rid of Reverend Mike on Friday, January 3?
If memory serves about how well they worked and played with others after dumping Kevin McCarthy, they won’t have a Speaker on Monday, January 6, and won’t have a government, so who will be there to accept the Electoral Vote count to declare Felon34 and Corporal Couchfucker being voted into office?
And what are the odds they’re still trying to find their ass with both hands by January 20 and there is still no Speaker, no organized House, no budget to pay for the Chief Justice to administer the oath of office that day?
Government shutdowns that happen while there is no Speaker of the House and no way to elect one, assuming there was anyone in the Party of Broken Toys with the ability to deal with things if they did get elected, are even harder to deal with than the normal shutdowns brought about by The Gang That Cannot Work And Play With Others
With no government and no government operating budget, that also means there is no Massive Deportation since there is no money to build the camps, or pay for the ICE storm troopers.
And without a Speaker to organize the House and create the government, there is no Senate to vote on and confirm the Collection of Clucks that Felon34 has nominated to destroy America.
You know, the thought of there being no legal government at this particular point in history suddenly looks better and better.
Yes! Let the Broken Toys continue to shoot themselves in the foot!
All hail Elmo - the man who knew so little he was able to fuck up the government beyond all recognition, all by himself.
Elmo. The man who tanked the United States. It takes real genius to pull that off.
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President Elmo Musk
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American Royalty. Epilogue.
A Homelander x F! Reader/Dadlander fic
A/N: Here's the epilogue hope y'all enjoy this last entry, it meant a lot to write this I just can't get enough of Dadlander fics, I hope S4 inspires me to write more dadlander fics or fics were I can put reader-chan or OCs as his spouse-- will post part 2 of the masterlist and update my pin post soon.
Epilogue
American Royalty
Homelander hurried downstairs, fighting with his tie as he rushed to the breakfast table, throwing the red string by the foot of the stairs in frustration, just stopping shyly by a mirror to make sure his hair was nicely combed, his phone buzzing in his back pocket�� probably another missed call from an executive or Ashley about the upcoming shareholders meeting.
Forks and plates clink downstairs, as he makes his way past the kitchen where one of the maids is cleaning dirty pans, spotting the back of your head as you serve Ryan some juice.
“Good morning, uncle.” Said Elmo sitting on Homelander’s spot.
“Hello kid that doesn’t live here but still eats for free!”
“Father!”
“Good Morning, princess.”
He was quick to wrap his arm on your waist and kiss your temple, pulling a chair as he smoothly disarms himself from you.
He stares at Elmo who at the tender age of 15 is the same height as Homelander, he’s a muscular teen, a perfect 80’s movie jock even wearing a varsity jacket, his superhero suit a perfect match to Helena’s.
Her jacket hanging on her chair and massively oversized, a puffy bomber jacket only achieving to dwarf her small frame– it’s a strong red, and the inside liner it's made out of Homelander’s own cape, her suit tight on her with a red X framing her chest something that had now began to bother her father, her shortie gloves laid next to her coffee, Elmo's was black with a white X on his chest.
Helena and Elmo were an odd match but that was part of the duet's charm, with her stuck at 1.55 cm in height while he was already 1.85 cm and growing, she was skinny and her hair slightly longer just past her shoulders, her bangs still blocking her eyes.
But as she lifted her face away from her tablet, he was welcomed by a beautiful young girl, Helena had everything that made you beautiful, like a majestic peony– she had blossomed to perfection, so pretty he would rub it in people’s faces about just how pretty his daughter was, even the dark circles under her eyes added character to her features.
Elmo was a handsome boy and a concern, even if your daughter insisted she had no interest in the tall muscular teen, Homelander had begun to remind himself every so often that he couldn’t harm the child, he couldn’t scare him to keep him in line, for fear that Helena would lash back at him if he touched her best friend.
“No tie?”
“Don’t start princess, now eat something, we got an incredibly long day ahead lots of last minutes meetings–
“It's breakfast!” You interrupted taking a seat by his side– no work talk until you get to the office!”
He took a sip of his milk, turning to Ryan who was in an unspoken competition with Elmo about who could eat the most waffles– Ryan had grown to a handsome young man, a light stubble on his cheeks as he tried to look more mature, his hair messy, still in his pajamas which made Homelander’s eyebrow raise... somehow in this state it reminded him of Butcher specially with the growing beard.
“Excited about today?”
“A bit nervous” He chewed quickly, covering his mouth to speak– but am certain I won’t make a fool of myself in the interview”
“You will not fail the university admission interview. Godolkin would be suicidal to reject the son of Vought CMO and the brother of the Senior Vice president of research and development.” He smiles– Besides I basically pa–
“Maybe he wants to feel as if he got into Godolkin on his own!” You interjected– Ryan has been a tremendous hero, saved dozens of people and has done everything to stand on his own. You’ll do great Ryan. I’ll be there for you and so will Genevieve.”
You look to your side, her face covered in maple syrup.
She looked up, her long white hair it’s all puffy and a tad frizzy, short bangs on her forehead pushed back and her thick glasses sliding down as she tries wiping the sticky syrup off her lips, you check that her beige dress isn’t dirty.
“You’re going to take care of your big brother today aren’t you, my dove.” John said with his sweetest voice– gotta help him out when daddy is not around.”
He took a long sip of his milk, he looked past you just to get a good glimpse of his small daughter.
Genevieve had unsurprisingly been born just as different as she was extraordinary, her condition had been a source of concern at first– her vision quite poor, her skin sensitive to the sun and her eyes hurt under any harsh light but the V in her system had kept those ailments in check even if she was quick to sunburn it would heal within a day.
It had worried you as she stopped being baby, as she began to waddle towards her father that somehow Joh would cease to see his precious daughter and instead some sort genetic disappointment.
But John had adored her, every milestone was met with adulation and praise, everything he had missed with the other two he was experiencing them with Genevieve, both glued to the other’s hip, she was more than a clingy child, she refused to leave his side as a baby and a toddler-- at times she would even cried harder when hungry because she had to part her father’s side in order to feed, angry that it was you who was responsible for that… eventually you both learned it was easy to get her to latch if he was also feeding with her (for Homelander insisted on breastfeeding and no bottle) you could accuse him of being improper if he wasn’t cooing and falling asleep with your nipple in his mouth, his eyes fully glazed and his mind somewhere else, it made for an odd sight but you both didn't want broken eardrums plus it was somewhat soothing.
You jokingly teased to get him a bra with a baby bottle just to make it easier for her– as her cries every once in a while would break the glassware, he briefly considered before thinking it was too much… despite that, her clinginess brought him no grief, those 7 months he stayed home had brought a side of him you’ve never imagine he possessed, he was sweet and gentle, extremely attentive with her… the guilt on his face whenever he did something with Genevieve that he hadn’t done with Ryan and Helena would wear him down– forcing himself to part from the baby to spend time with them as much as he could, your kids went to faraway places, overseas lunches, art galleries anything they wanted just to make sure he wasn’t neglectful… only to get home and immediately remove his little dove from your arms and place her on his chest, sniffing on her hair as if he was doing lines.
By the time you both went back to work she would only really spend time in Vought’s daycare when Ashley, Ashley’s at the time fiancee or Helena’s PA weren’t available for when he wasn’t able to have her on her arms, eventually nobody minded that he had a baby in his arms, she attended meetings that Helena had no interest in and even those she did alongside her big sister, much to your daughter’s annoyance.
Everything Genevieve did made him fluster and blush, his cheeks and eyes hurting from how much smiling he did, when her first word were ‘dada’ he was born anew, you remember that afternoon as you tried to clean her diaper while he pester you to do it correctly while unable to do it himself– he hadn’t left her alone for the rest of the week just wanting to get to speak more and more, he was heartbroken when he missed her first step but got it recorded from Ryan.
She loved the new cat he’d bought for Helena for her birthday and for a while the two had a one-sided feud for his daughters affections, even more so for his little dove love who seemed utterly fascinated by the hairless goblin.
With every year his children spend with him– he grew softer and domestic, something you’ve never anticipated.
And a part of you grew more wicked as you were too happy that Ryan began to call you mom, you weren’t ‘Miss anything’ or Y/N anymore, once you found yourself cuddling him and running down the streets to not miss his school events, or staying till late to help him with a science project you were more than enthused when you realized you had become a normal family, he was your boy too.
You had grown to like this life just as much as he did.
The day he hung the cape he hurt as much as you thought he would.
Homelander had died but he did not.
He bore his scars both as a reminder of that final battle with William Butcher… a painful victory, but of proof that he had survived to see his children grow.
His face had been scarred– starting from his forehead, crossing his lips and chin to make it down to his neck.
The destruction of his face had broken him but as he saw that none of his children cared for his injury, only that he was alive and Genevieve would never knew anything else, it made it not just bearable but okay. It had been a hard road, a messy road but here he was still working at Vought, still running things and frightening every soul both above and below his station, finding his talents in Hero management taking Stillwell’s former position soon after then heading the marketing department as of two years ago.
You on the other hand had become co-owner of Lucci, after a second restaurant was opened– a more contemporary casual italian joint still serving award winning pizza but now more contemporary italian fair, part of the success had been the quality and ambiance but being Homelander’s wife did brought a fair amount of foot traffic to your restaurants– it was far from what you’ve hoped to achieve but you had a business, away from Vought’s Tower after that little accident that cost Homelander his face nearly destroyed the company.
But like the flu, it came back the next season just the same.
“So ‘The Watch’ got the green light for being debuted at the shareholder’s meeting, the rest of the team arrived last night after that fuck up with United… and we have hours of photoshoots today” Elmo said as he read his father’s message.
Even with the events that took Homelander’s cape it did not kill his worth to the company, his children now carried the burden to live up to the legacy, which meant continuing with the superhero business.
Nigel had become your daughter’s manager and with Homelander as the one running the department it was a guarantee success, Helena had cared very little about the job, only doing the tag-team work to make you and Homelander happy, to her it was only worth it as just another way to keep her foot in as many aspects of her company as she could juggle.
Tragically she had to work as a Supe and you could tell how much she hated it by the grimace she was trying to hide.
“I just said no work… that includes you Elmo.”
“Sorry Ms. Gillman but Dad won’t stop messaging me.”
Homelander looked at his phone staring at a pic of the final line-up after they arrived to the airport, proud of his selection, he had vetted them, tested them and had been working closely with all of them for their debuts… perhaps Helena’s intellect was partially inherited.
“Is okay honey… is a stressful week… 'The Watch' is a 15 year long project… The industry has had a rough couple of years but test audiences and online response has been overwhelmingly positive, so Vought is very nervous about this launch… and we know Nigel and Sven are mostly nervous about Phantasma.”
“I’m not going to fuck it up, I just don’t want to do this nonesense. I'm busy.”
“The suit gets your funding. V30 might’ve been a success but the rest of your research is dependent on your public image.”
Helena grumbled not wanting to air out dirty iodine stained laundry, she looked down to see the family cat pawing at her leg asking for bacon which she happily obliged.
You settled in the entrance, trying to apply sunscreen to Genevieve as she seemed bothered by this new brand’s smell.
“It's not that bad, my dove.” Homelander came in holding two ties in his hand but no Helena, Elmo behind him looking stressed out– you have to bear it. It's good for you”
“It's yucky!”
“Daddy and mom just want you to be safe out there in the sun… I’ll go buy you a nicer one later, I promise.” He was considering firing the maid who purchased the wrong sunscreen in the first place but he would run it by you later– but first you need to go and take care of your big brother… think of this as your own suit.” He said with a smile.
“Is not a suit! Is cream!”
Her voice was airy, he handed you the ties and took the bottle of your hands instead, kneeling to press a fresh dot on her chin, she pouted but let it happen.
As he got up you wrapped a light blue string on his neck, tying it with more ease than he could ever muster, while Genevieve skipped towards the entrance to find her brother.
“I thought we’d skip the rebellious years with her.”
“What, you think Helena is out of hers?” you lightly chuckle– Ryan wasn’t too bad tho.”
“Ryan was delightful… Helena… thank god she’s Elmo’s problem most of the time.” he said while shaking his head.
“I’m not dating Elmo!” Helena came down with a large messenger bag under her arm and her tablet in the other– even if they love us online.”
“Your dad didn’t mean it like that… more like am your babysitter”
“Say that again and I’ll break your jaw.” she said sharply.
“Always so feisty… I feel bad for your teammates.” You say as your daughter grumbles.
They headed outside bickering about the usual things.
“You look handsome.” Your hands flatten his lapels, getting a feel of his suit– I’ll take Ryan and Genevieve out for lunch so make sure you and Helena eat, don't make me call Elmo.”
“If you ignore these” he pointed at his scars and the slight drop on his left eye– "I tell you at this rate we might have to adopt this kid.”
Admittedly you two had given him his own guest bedroom, and his parents just took you as their designated babysitter as they work and traveled for work tirelessly, but when the superhero business took place it was them who handle it, as you stayed home with the other two kids… regardless in his own way Homelander was fond of the kid who also ate him out of house and home.
“I think you look handsome with the scars…” You whispered.
Your arms wrapped themselves on his shoulders, he grinned sliding his hands into your hips and into your ass, giving you a playful squeeze.
“As I always say… it makes you look distinguished… is sexy.” he smiled for the breathy voice turned him on.
“I think the older I get the worse they get…”
“Oh John… the gray hairs and the scar just makes me wanna fuck you in the coat’s closet before you head for work.” you whispered with a moan.
You kissed him, the peck turned passionate, he lifted you just enough to make a passing maid fluster, your hands trying to control themselves to not mess up his hair, you squeezed at his neck and shoulders as his tongue explored yours.
“There’s children here!”
Ryan covered his eyes, trying to rush past you two as he mimed some gagging, rushing to his bedroom to pick up a forgotten item before returning back down with a gust of wind.
“After you drop the kids… swing by the office” He leaned into your ear, his hand still in your ass– please. babe”
“Those fingers better be warm for me.”
He purred into your lips, hesitant to stop kissing you but as he heard your daughter shout about being late, he reluctantly freed you, as the maid handed you your coat.
As you followed, a small group had already formed on the street catching selfies with Elmo, Helena hid her face behind her gas mask wishing she could flip her finger to the annoying crowd as she entered the car after forcing herself to pose for some photos– Homelander waved you goodbye after kissing Genevieve.
Ryan and Genevieve are already in the car by the time the crowd disperses and Homelander’s car departs.
“What?” Ryan still looked grossed out, his ears already picked up on what his parents had discussed– hey somebody is gonna have to kept your dad in a good mood when he finds out you’re applying for the Performing Arts program”
“I shouldn’t have to lie to him about not wanting to be a superhero.”
“Being a superhero is what will get your foot in Hollywood. The indie scene can be kind to you but if you want to be the next ‘Guillermo Del Toro’ or Miyasaki– you need to keep that suit to impress future investors, producers and studios.”
“So the same thing he says to Helena… he’s going to kill me.” He mumbles.
“Just dedicate your first Palme D’Or to your father… he’s gonna kill you over making animated movies instead of ‘real’ films more likely.”
He scoffed.
“Daddy don’t get angries!.” Genevieve took a juice box out of her backpack, struggling with her little chubby fingers to remove the plastic off the straw– you guys are meanies!”
“Oh Genevieve… you’re right… Daddy is a saint” You help her out, too young to catch the sarcasm– just let me handle your father.”
You leaned towards him, placing your hand on his lightly stubbled face after handing your daughter her juice, looking at him with adoring eyes, he was your sweet boy you could almost see a younger Homelander in him… no… a young John.
“Your father will be mad for a minute but the moment he sees a whole theater room fawning after your work… when he sees you happy beaming with pride… he’ll be crying while starting a round of applause if anything he’ll be so cringy… Leave it to me… besides you’re not staying in Godolkin anyhoo.”
“NYU in two years…” He leaned into your hand– He did… made a big deal when I qualified for South by Southwest… and… he did got pretty upset about not qualifying for that other one…”
“He was looking forward to booking those flights to England” You smiled softly– let him throw his tantrum, my sweet boy. I’ll be right there if you need me, Ryan.”
“Thanks mom.”
Homelander stood beside Nigel and Ashley as the photoshoot took place, a couple heads from marketing and media relations hovered around, the director of photography assistant drone on about the shoot but Homelander paid her very attention, his sight on the computer screen analyzing the images, ensuring his daughter got the best angles, he made his way to interrupt the photographer as he picked “bad” shots, the man was used to helicopter parents trying to do his job in his behalf but superhero suit or not… nobody fail to recognize Homelander, so he listened.
“Her chin looks fat.” He mutters, the man swallows and just nods moving towards his assistant to take his camera once more, Helena scoffs ready for another round of torture– she better look perfect in these concept photos.”
The man nods rapidly.
“Show your powers a bit, princess.” He says towards her– "whose idea was to do a photoshoot in civilian clothes…?”
Homelander turned to Nigel.
“Makes them seem fresh. If they look stylish and beautiful in and out of the suit. People will eat it up… it would be easier if we could recreate what made ‘The Seven’ succeed, and other teams that try to be of that caliber but this isn’t meant to appeal to only the American market, so this works… heroes these days have to be approachable not godly figures …trying to set up a global network of superheroes alongside juiced-up V30 soldiers has been tricky.” Said Ashley-- so we gotta play perfectly."
He rolled his eyes, fidgeting with his phone, getting a glimpse at the other supes waiting for the turn or getting their make-up retouched.
“I feel like we should’ve been doing this 30 years ago to have some older supes in the different territories but this mentorship program was a genius move, Homelander, sir.” Ashley spoke proudly– but the girls are the best representatives of Vought and their countries.”
“Just shipping our recyclable waste overseas.” He chuckles in a creepy manner as his sight focuses on the other heroes– "I almost feel bad for Roman Candle, having to be stuck with Deep in Greece.”
“She has a good sense of humor about it” Ashley smiles at her direction– hopefully he stays there.”
The team was a pretty visually pleasant group, Phantasma and Poltergeist as reps of the American division, Roman Candle– a pyrokinetic Supe representing Southern Europe, the tomboy of the team, her playful pixie cut messy around her golden lyra band, her face covered in freckles, her suit a toga with a chainmail dress beneath, and armor gauntlets and boots, then there was Hex Trap– a powerful illusionist falling into her trap meant having a schizophrenia speedrun representing Northern Africa, her suit was rather casual, a victorian long sleeve blouse, leather shorts, fishnets, black combat boots, and gothic accessories, Hex was a statuest teenager, her hair long and braided and very much french-raised but they had another candidate for western Europe so Homelander handed her Norththen Africa; next to Elmo was La Tunda– a shapeshifter who could turn herself into a frightening beast, she was body positive but not offensive according to Homelander’s team, she was well liked in her country had she not been strong he wouldn’t have given her the opportunity, he had supervise her re-debut makeover– her outfit quite small and her middrift was a bit exposed but it was cheaper in the long run for her to destroy less material, and finally to her left about to have her donut re-fried was the team’s visual– Joro-Spider a successful model, a dancer, social media influencer, a real idol and the representative of East Asia, her long black hair gave her an elegant look and her black, yellow and red suit her half hoodie and sneakers gave her a cool modern look, she was the 2nd most popular after Elmo leaving Helena 3rd in her own team, it aggrevated Homelander but she was a big draw for audiences.
Homelander didn’t hesitate to laser that half-eaten donut making the girl squeal as she dropped the evaporating pastry.
“That’s your third.” She hides her face knowing not to piss him off– go wash your face.”
She runs trying not to cry.
“Ashley… why is Joro’s hair fucking neon-yellow?” He noticed the tips she was hiding in her hood– why was I not notified!?” He screamed.
“She showed up this morning like that!! We already talked to her parents but her fans” she nearly dropped her phone trying to unlock it to show him the hair reveal post, his ire calmed down at the sight of 200K and counting likes– it's a hit.”
“Tell her to come by my office after we are done here.”
Neither Ashley nor Nigel argued with him.
Late afternoon came and all he had left to deal with was the remnants of Helena’s tantrum, each photoshoot had driven her mad, and now she had locked herself in a closet, chunks of her hair trailing her path into the closet.
“Helena I can break this door, or Elmo can faze into that closet and get you out… but I don’t want to do any of that… I want you to come out. I’m not angry.”
He could see her cowering beneath some coats, he had displaced the crowd leaving them alone in the dressing room, he dropped to the ground resting by the door.
“Sorry… I didn’t mean to stress you out… I know between the shareholder meeting, your research and your hero duties you have enough on your plate… but this is a big thing for the both of us… for me… it would be easier if you could just be Dr. Gillman.”
“Can I?” Her voice was a squeak.
“Not yet… not until you take over Vought… after that you can be just my perfect and sweet daughter.”
The door opened slightly, she crawled towards her dad, letting herself be cradled in his arms, sniffling loudly, her once long hair had been cut short, barely passing the lengths of her chin, it was a choppy mess even more so than before, he rested his chin on her head as he wrapped her tight.
“‘The Watch’ means a lot to me… after Butcher did this to me… after his hooligans almost took down Vought… I thought it was over but with you… with you by my side we have worked so hard to rebuild this empire… I’ve worked so freaking hard to get my crown back just for you… just so I have something to give you… I know it's killing you, but this is the only way to bring together our fractured kingdom… for you to lead this new generation of Supes to greatness. We’re American royalty, Helena… it does not come easy to have so many burdens.”
Helena clung to his suit, trying to not pout any further, trying to stop herself from crying.
“The world needs us… it needs your brilliant mind to guide it… in 10 years I don’t doubt you’ll be the head of Vought and no doubt the rest of the world’s superheroes would be under your loyal command… but we can’t get there if we don’t make sacrifices.” he kissed her head, burying his nose in her hair, as he coddled her– or you rather hand your crown to Elmo? Ryan?"
“No… You think the public will love me? I’m not you… am not pretty… I can’t actually fly… am not even that tall! And I suck with people!”
“You are the most beautiful girl in the whole world. When I was your age I was locked in a cage having to practice speaking to people via intercoms and phones… and now I give amazing speeches! Is a skill that you can learn, and flying is cool... is a great selling point but you’re strong and a genius.” He kissed her again, glad that she was still so little compared to him– You’re my daughter and your mother’s daughter… you can do it… for a little bit longer.”
“Maybe Genevieve will like being a hero… it’s hard.”
“It’d be nice if at least one of you does.” His smile is slightly forced but he can’t bring himself to be upset– just to make me happy.”
“She can fly already.” She sounded mad against his chest.
“My little dove lives up to her name… but we need to build a world for her… a world for us Supes and you’re the only one that can do that.”
“I just have to work for a little longer for mom’s and your future…” She lifted her head not trying to get out of her father’s embrace, he looked down at his hand pulling on her nose playfully– I won’t waste 10 years of hard work over some shitty photoshoot. Sorry.”
Butcher had nearly taken everything from her, she had to do everything to make sure Vought would remain, she had to protect her mother’s livelihood and her father’s too, so here she was consumed by anxiety, slashing the hair that’s been played, pulled and burnt, sprayed and washed all day– her nose burning from all the chemicals and oils.
“Let’s go back to the office… that’s enough for today… you got your daddy’s talents! There’s more than enough good shots already, shame that your teammates are so god awful at this… you did great… amazing…” he kissed her forehead gently pushing her away from him, as they struggled to stand up– my sweet girl… you will do amazing things as the head of “The Watch” Vought better watch out..”
“The world you mean.”
He looked at her hair, lifting a few choppy strands in-between his fingers, letting out a soft chuckle.
“I can make this work. Leave it to dad.” he winked.
“Thanks… dad.”
The two-day extravaganza was about to culminate, the fair and meetings had almost ended and the new international team’s first iteration had been a resounding success, Homelander had been approached by his team regarding representatives for India and a NATO backed hero for the eastern bloc, a couple names being thrown: a young man from Hungary and a young woman from Ukraine… he wanted to kept the female ratio high due to future sex-appeal and to foster audiences to view these heroines like daughters or nieces that they wanted to support and watch grow… and maybe with time also fuck– he turned to Also Ashley to politely reject all male prospectives for the time being.
He took a long sip of his ginger ale as Ashley and other execs discussed providing China with their own supe after tentatively selling some small quantities of V30 just to test the waters… he scoffed at the idea, almost colliding with Andrew their stupid CFO over it, it would be easier if he could just rip his jaw off instead of repeating himself, it was weird to be the sensible one on the table for once, leaving the room before he actually killed a man, his eyes constantly flaring as the discussion heated up.
You nudge at his shoulder, inside the basketball stadium that has been transformed to encapsulate the magnitude of Vought, there was the lounge… ‘The Seven Oasis’– the acquisition of the Brooklyn Nets and the Barclay Centre had been divisive but sports was always a good source of income– It was paying off to have your own facility especially after such aggressive expansions.
You both stared at the floor below where only 1 hour ago The Watch officially debuted, the electricity was still in the air as the girls were still on stage partaking in a Q&A, after a lengthy introductory documentary, showing their profiles and accolades.
He turned to see you in an elegant but simple cream coloured two piece suit, in your hand a glass of moscato.
“Ryan is a natural in front of the camera… remember when he was just a shy little thing?” You said resting your weight against him, he shifted lightly on his seat to make you more comfortable, as Ryan and some attractive woman hosted the panel presentation– The Patriot… he plays the role flawlessly, hard to believe it's Ryan under the mask.”
His brows lowered and his lower jaw pushed forward.
“You cannot keep giving me the silent treatment, it's been days.” You remark but he didn’t make a sound– can’t believe it took me 10 years of putting up with you for you to finally leave me alone… guess my back can finally rest.’
He put his ginger ale down, glad that the room was so private, away from the relentless onslaught of annoying execs, Joro was delighting the audiences showing her powers as she swung across the ceiling with increasingly more unpredictable and aggressive movements, it was quite the sight getting the crowd rowdy, he looked away to give you a murderous look.
“I swear we told you.”
“Don’t gaslight me. The one who does the gaslighting in this relationship it's me!” He remarked with a bark– you should’ve told me!”
“Well what’s done is done.” You tried to keep a confident look on your face– now what are you going to do about it?”
“What can I do? Make Ryan hate me!? Just gotta smile like a good boy and deal with it!”
“Exactly!”
“I love you too.” He said with heavy sarcasm, He looked back on the stage listening to Elmo discussing his exploits in Ontario, his goals for protecting the America’s and looking forward to heading down to Mexico– He will continue his Superhero duties! Let him try being fucking Scorcese all he wants but he’s not taking the suit off!”
He smashed his fist on the armrest, breaking it with ease, younger you would have jumped in fright but now it was but a lull, no palpable sense of danger in his actions, you took a short sip of your drink putting it down on the floor, your ears picking up on Elmo’s answering the never ending barrage of dating rumors, being a handsome boy surrounded by a bunch of cute girls certainly put him in a phenomenal position but he treated the answer with respect saying that these girls were like family to him.
Homelander eyes spark as the question became about Helena, he awaited the idiot’s response but Elmo was more than genuine when he spoke of her like her sister, the bastard did sleep in his house enough, he even ended his answer referring to Homelander as his uncle, looking into the booth with a wink– Helena was doing her best to stay still glad that her gasmask covered half her face and her bangs hid her eyes so nobidy saw her pissed off expression, the interviewer turned to Helena about the same question.
“Too busy.” Her tone was playful– maybe when am older and not helping take care of the country! Just not with this doofus!” She elbowed him playfully.
Ryan gave her an approving nod, definitely acting like the good older brother he was, as he reviewed the next question and quickly proceeded to ask the one after.
The audience seemed happy about that, Homelander relaxed turning back to you.
“You have my support there… The Patriot won’t fade away… our boy isn’t stupid, he knows being a super puts him in a better spot than others… but I better have your support for his dreams, in the same way I have supported this grand vision of yours… in the same way you and I have supported Helena.” You rested your chin on his elbow– remember when Helena graduated from MIT… how happy you were?”
He could still see his little 11 year old in her cap, a couple murmurs irritated him as they were incredulous to see a small child on stage, he had taken the job of her driver: flying her back and forth, he was happier when she went to Cornell just to make the trips shorter, her bubble was useful but you both were too worried about her going on her own meeting planes, birds and god knows what else.
He was one of those embarrassing parents that evening.
“Am not upset about him not pursuing Crime Fighting… am upset about being lied to… of course I’ll support him! What kind of dad would I be if I stayed mad about it!?”
“I’m glad you are still doing your best.” You stroke his chin letting him kiss your palm as he follows your tender gestures– Maybe we should start heading downstairs to meet the rest of the execs… heard from Ashley, Russia is throwing some big numbers.”
“Oh geez can’t wait for ‘The Cold War 2: Electric boogaloo edition’ these fucking idiots… Where’s Genevieve? She’s probably tired or high on sugar” he started getting up leaving his mess for somebody else to clean, offering you a hand to help stand up– you look great… that skirt makes your ass look amazing, hope the whole place knows just how good my wife’s ass is…” He gave your behind a light smack as you foolishly took the lead– better than wine.”
“She’s with Ashley’s wife, and thank you… you look cute in a turtleneck… maybe I get to see you out of it.”
As you left the suite, he stopped himself by the door looking into the crowd as ‘The Watch’ began to leave the stage.
“Was it worth it? Getting married and living with me and such.”
He could hear Helena's heartbeat finally calming down, Hearing Ryan speak kindly into her ear. You stared at him unsure as to what brought this on but whatever his ear was picking up might’ve stressed him out.
“I’m happy. I don’t recognize myself some mornings. But I didn’t think I was going to make it back then, always afraid CPS or Vought would take my kid away… wondering if I had a future to give her… then I realized I don’t want to recognize that old me…”
“Sometimes I miss that voice in my head but I don’t think I want him to come back… I like this… I like us… I like the Gillman’s… even the cat, that fat lazy naked cat.”
“You love that cat, you give him chamomile and oat baths so his skin stays healthy!” You laughed thinking of Homelander and that tiny goblin mewling as he stroked his paws with some soothing balm cream made for cats– I like this too… I like that we made it work.”
“And you… you like me? Like you liked me the first time?” you were a bit incredulous at hearing this 50 year old man sound like a teen for the moment, his hand heavy on the door but jittery– I like you… like you lots.”
You blushed, trying to calm down as he swayed lightly on his toes.
“Well you certainly don’t come home covered in blood and guts as often, like when we first met… Jesus you ruined so many nice tops because you were such a messy but sweet boy… shame… I wouldn’t mind getting rid of some shirts” you giggled, you were always a little messed up, you had to be to find him lovely in the first place– I like you… a lot… so…do… you wanna go out on a date with me then?”
You twirled with your hair, biting on your lip trying to be cheesy, here you were a teenage girl asking your crush on the school yard once again.
“Y-Y-Yes!” He swallowed, looking genuinely nervous– Should I get covered in blood for our date?”
“Maybe… altho maybe we should save that up for after Ryan moves to campus, Helena should be busy at work… and I get Ashley and her wife to babysit Genevieve… they want some more practice before the adoption finalizes…so promise?”
“Promise.”
His eyes glowed in a way no superpowered laser ever could imitate, he held your hand as he closed the door behind.
You both thinking about where to go for your next date.
“Maybe we could go furniture shopping and get a singular bed for our bedroom…” He said nervously.
“Maybe” You winked at him.
The end.
A/N: lowkey want to write a sequel to thsi fic but centering on Helena as she tries to be a hero one day so this its baity, also Helena is canonically a lesbian so she'll never be with Elmo as to how Homie will react well I always write him as canon Bi but he doesn't know she's gay yet so who knows.
Taglist: @demodemo909 @ghqst-fqce @immyowndefender @fromforeigntofamiliarity @thychuvaluswife
#homelander#personal#the boys#homelander x reader#homelander x you#homelander x y/n#my fic tag#dadlander#plz check my other works if you'll like my stuff#shoudl be posting all of this in ao3 during my work break my issue was that some of my earlier fics were writen straight into tumblr drafts#and copyign and pasting from tumblr its hellish on mobile as i dont own a computer
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