#Pre-Loved Journey
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I absolutely LOVE the Squirtle/Wartortle illustrations by kantaro in Pokemon 151!
The Squirtle jumping so joyfully from the rock into the ocean, the colors are STUNNING! I love the contrast of the Squirtle's aqua blue framed in the vivid orange sky, the soft bit of blue reflecting in its shell and its tail just catching the sun, how little and squishy its body looks as it launches itself towards the water with such tremendous excitement!
The lineless style of the background gives me the feel of a travel poster and I sense the tropical environment around it from the rocks and trees framing the corners, the waterfall splashing with as much energy as the Squirtle!
The layered blues on the surface of the water and the bubbles rising at the corner make me FEEL the liquid rising to meet the Squirtle--I can just feel how the next moment it's going to break through and be immersed in a cool island swim!
And the Wartortle running along the sunset beach, this is somehow everything I always imagined for Wartortle! I adore the way the rich purple melts into the warm red/orange sky, the matching purple clouds and shadows in the foreground, and how the dimming sunlight glows red on Wartortle's deep blues!
I love how the yellow and orange of the sky illuminate the lapping waves, I can just feel the gentle motion of the sea at dusk. The aqua color of the ocean matches Wartortle's ears and tail and sets off the red-orange sand, I just love how the colors are here!
Wartortle looks so round and squishy, I love its happiness as it goes frolicking through the shallows, chasing the bubbles caught in the setting sun! The shine and deep shadow on its shell give it an almost jewel texture like real tortoise shell; I love the silhouetted splash Wartortle leaves as it goes running across the shore. It's so full of energy and delight at the end of a gorgeous day! The colors in these are SO vivid and harmonized and the style is so cute and bursting with energy and joy. I just LOVE it (also Squirtle is my starter)
#pokemon#pokemon tcg#long post#i have deep affection for bulbasaur as well though and i also love the bulbasaur/ivysaur cards in this set#i SO wish we'd gotten art of the final evolutions in the same style as the pre-evos' standard cards!!#(yes i do love the full art ones but i also love the illustrations on the standard cards!)#from the way the settings in these two were going; i would have imagined blastoise to be set at night (??)#i LOVE pokemon cards. i can't keep up with every set but i started collecting again now and then a few years ago#and 151 has really got me wanting the full set the way i haven't since childhood. SO many beautiful illustrations (but there always are)#it's like having little pieces of art of my favorite characters and it's only.. slightly... less expensive than actually commissioning ....#i KNOW it's less expensive to buy the individuals online but it's so much less fun#part of the fun is having YOUR own pokemon journey ((going to the store)) and seeing what YOU encounter ((when you open the pack))#i do buy them online sometimes but i usually dont form as strong associations with them as when i open a pack in a certain setting or place#i tend to try to save them to open right before a significant event like starting something new or a holiday. so that i form associations#and it's like 'oh that's the galarian obstagoon from when my mom came home for christmas'#and 'that's the snorlax who reassured me when i was hurt'#i don't buy them too often so i've got to make it count#anyway i know i should wait for the prices on this one to come down because it's absolutely ridiculous#i didn't buy anything at release because i was like $6 for one booster pack??? but i couldn't take just sitting and watching them sell out#i really like the poster because i can look at so many beautiful pictures all together#i could say stuff like this about literally every pokemon illustration (if i had time to write it out) and sometimes i've wanted to#i just chose these two because these are a couple of my original favorite pokemon and i just couldn't keep it to myself. i LOVE these
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I know we Sanuso shippers sound like a broken record moving in between Skypiea, Water 7, Enies Lobby, and Sabaody, but... Those really are crucial arcs for both of them. They show their core personalities, even before their actual arcs (WCI and, hopefully, Elbaf, if Oda gives my boy Usopp all the attention he deserves there) and they're always together. They're paired together in each of those and they're together to witness each other's important moments and growth. And I just think it's something so beautiful. It's not exactly that they have crucial scenes, it's the fact that they're together to support each other in them.
#idk i just find it so beautiful like#wci is a crime for not having usopp but the way luffy acts in wci is different from how usopp would've reacted too#and i think that being together in their journey pretty much since the beginning gives such a beautiful perspective to their relationship#they're not invasive of each other's issues and trauma and they don't demand to be in each other's space. they just... they just are#it's like it's just obvious that if sanji is somewhere usopp will be there too#like they just exist next to each other#and this happened more pre-ts but it's quite obvious in gyojin island and punk hazard too that they're written to be together#and i am very sad#i love them a lot#one piece#black leg sanji#usopp#sanuso
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JTTW retelling that deals with everyone's favorite pilgrims "beginning" their redemption arcs getting trapped under a mountain for 500 years/getting stabbed hundreds of times daily/having their bones broken with a mallet constantly/whipped approximately a bajillion times when.
#i love how brutal the og classic is#but yeah#some interesting implications in how sun wukong zhu bajie sha wujing & bai longma all suffered EXCEEDINGLY violent punishments#before being recruited for the journey by guanyin#wonder what effect said violent punishments had on their pre-journey personalities\
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ok whatever dalinar and navani trapped in the spiritual realm scary bodes poorly awful I DONT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THAT. i want to think about radiant implying that sadeas ALSO murdered his way up a couple dahns WHILE BEING 15. and im guessing this was a joint effort with ialai? again, when they were Fifteen Years Old. like holy shit
#luke.txt#this is genuinely so shocking to me i straight up assumed he grew up son of a highprince#well it sure is a lot easier for him to be stealth then#if he hadnt been an Extremely Public Figure since birth#god this is making me rewrite Everything about my pre flashbacks sadeas timeline#cuz ive ALWAYS just kinda gone oh yeah sadeas met ialai after he met dalinar#and thats why she never really came up until ob 19#but i guess she wasnt important to dalinars journey or something#putting on shipping goggles: i wonder if ialai being More Than Okay with sadeas doing gay shit with dalinar#influenced sadeas to go okay it isnt the end of the world if dalinar gets married i just need to do it for him so it can be strategic#i wonder if there was a stupid love triangle going on in sadeas's head throughout his adolescence#kowt spoilers#wind and truth spoilers#SORRY i got so wrapped up in the euphoria of New Sadeas Lore that for a second i lived in a world where i didnt start out this post#with a major spoiler from this weeks preview chapters
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Early morning I-can't-sleep-for-stress-over-a-medical-procedure thoughts: Well, OBVIOUSLY I have to make my weird Mourn Watch Rook something like Moritani so that her nickname can be Mori. Obviously.
#hush frenchy#i typically don't pre-create characters for games but datv really got me with the mourn watch#she'll either be a dwarf or a human#kinda leaning dwarf now after seeing some of the cc but we will never know for sure until we get in it#I'm so excited I'm gonna make her like the opposite of wyn#still death-touched still kind weird and off-putting with her way of seeing things but like#also SO in love with the world and with life#another gentle shepard of souls without the river of tragedy running through her to make her a herald of fury#little miss death-the-transition rather than death-the-journey's-end
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Ok new poll time even though my mind is lowkey made up already
#jane journals#silly#sorta ajfjfkg#🍎 apple of my eye 🍎#its pre-owned and has a FEW blemishes here and there#BUT COME ON#i would love him and give him a nice home and cuddle him 🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖#i would embew him with the magic of something that's been loved by a human#like the miraculous journey of edward tulane#or the horse story idk#also IS IT JUST ME HALLUCINATING OR DID BUILD A BEAR HAVE LAZYTOWN BEARS???#LIKE FOR SOME REASON I REMEMBER SEEING THAT AS A KID#i remember a pink bear dressed like stephanie and a blue bear and a purple bear#yanno the 3 human characters ahfjgkg#APPARENTLY that doesnt exist tho
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The stages of saying I love you (insp)
#rayllum#pre canon#arc 1#multi#rayllumedit#pining!rayla#pining!callum#my edits#graphics#quotes#i will forever love that callum is the one who actually Said it first tbh#can u tell i wrestled with the colouring bc it was a Journey#me every time i realize i put an orange and a blue scene together: (muttering disdainfully) colour theory#personal fave#tdpedit#the dragon prince
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On Waxen Wings We Soar, In Spite of Inevitable Ends - A Baldur's Gate Fic
Written by pokimoko
Chapters: 1/1
Word Count: ~15.5K
Fandom: Baldur's Gate (Video Games)
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Warning: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Astarion & Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Astarion/Karlach (Baldur's Gate), (it's fairly ambigious; is it romantic? queerplatonic? platonic? yes), (the love and devotion is there regardless)
Characters: Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Astarion (Baldur's Gate)
Tags: Post-Canon, Post-Game: Baldur's Gate 3, Spoilers for Act 3 (Baldur's Gate 3), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, (in which a certain scene on a certain dock doesn't happen right at that very moment), POV Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Astarion as Player Character (Baldur's Gate), Vampire Spawn Astarion (Baldur's Gate), Astarion & Karlach Friendship (Baldur's Gate), Ambiguous Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships, Non-Sexual Intimacy, No Smut, Location: Faerûn (Dungeons & Dragons), Dungeons & Dragons Game Mechanics, Road Trips, (minus the car), Canon-Typical Bag Packing Physics, (how are they fitting all that food and a whole tent into one bag? don't ask me), Polymorph Spell (Dungeons & Dragons), Animal Transformation, Corvid Token (Baldur's Gate), Birds, oh? my wisdom check engine light is on? well i'm sure it's nothing to worry about, (and yes i know that joke doesn't actually work in terms of d&d mechanics. shhh), Quest: Our Fiery Friend | Karlach's Companion Quest (Baldur's Gate), Karlach Needs a Hug (Baldur's Gate), Astarion Needs a Hug (Baldur's Gate), Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Humor, Karlach-centric (Baldur's Gate), Astarion-centric (Baldur's Gate), Protective Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Protective Astarion (Baldur's Gate), Karlach Has Chronic Pain (Baldur's Gate), Dying Karlach (Baldur's Gate), Ambiguous/Open Ending, Bittersweet Ending, Character Study
Summary: With her engine breaking down, and little time left to live before she burns up completely, Karlach takes one last journey across Faerûn. And thanks to a little bit of magic, it's a journey she won't have to take alone.
#baldur's gate 3#bg3#bg3 fanfiction#bg3 fic#bg3 fanfic#baldur's gate fanfiction#fanfic#my fanfic#my fic#ao3 fanfic#fanfiction#karlach#karlach cliffgate#astarion#astarion ancunin#hellspawn#astarion x karlach#karlach x astarion#well it's not exactly 'x' between them. nor really an '&' either. it is a bit more ambigious than those can define ('tis the aroace in me)#so it's up to you if you want to read it as romantic. pre-slash. platonic or queerplatonic :3#putting my two favourite bg3 characters on a bucket list road trip together because i can. self-indulgence is a wonderful thing#to those who know my writing: not a ghost or radio in sight. guys i think i might finally be *gasp* branching out#me who's been wanting to write an animal transformation fic in years upon discovering the corvid token: 'finally. my time has come'#(with a dose of *seeing the lack of karlach and astarion as a duo fics* 'fine. i'll do it myself')#you've heard of goostarion. now get ready for asta-raven....no? fine we'll workshop it.#(though i feel i should clarify the banner is misleading; he is not a cool funky white raven. just a normal black raven. well. dire raven)#hey y'know that 'the love was there. it didn't change anything. but it still matters that love was there' post. yeah...yeah#i suppose the best way to put this fic is--to use that good old bit of trite wisdom--it's not the destination. it's the journey
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so... it's done. i finished yu gi oh. it was... definetly an experience, that's for sure but i can say with confidence nd love a very fun one! atem is...dead i guess. he already was but this timeit's like, official and that... is understandable. yugi also has the chance to grow into himself in a way he would never be able to if he kept relying on his other self. i hope atem's found peace in the afterlife and it was a great way to end the series! of course, according to the sopilers ive gotten, it won't stay that way for long...
reading/ watching this alongside arcane was... an experience to say the least and the dual brainrot i am recieving is confusing to say the least lol. i can't help but think of their themes side by side, how they directly conflict each other. arcane is about the destructive potential of love and the violence that breeds from it and yet how important that love is and how it is worth fighting for. it's also very morally grey and touches on themes of redemption. yu gi oh is about learning kindness (atem) and the eternal battle between love and hate, how it's better to love and search for revenge and find comfort in the darkness. in that way, it is a timeless tale. And of course it is about the constructive effects of love and friendship and the strength of community and others we can rely on. what we can see but remains unseen... it is a question with many answers. one's own heart and self. friendship. the next card you draw, everything. it's also very much a coming of age story, for both yugi and jounouchi who have fantastic character arcs. it's definetly simpler (and the quality can't really be compared) than arcane and quite straightforward but the ideas it brings to the table and communicates hold the same significance nad merit (well pre memory world and post s0) and while in different ways, both speak of empathy and love as some of the most important parts of the human experience. it's... fascinating and hopeful and the love for the project is clear in both and the themes carry over to the audience well. it's sweet <3
#thank you to kazuki takahashi for this amazing story he's made and may he rest in peace#yugioh#arcane#liveblogging#expect more on dsod soon#this journey is a long way from over#mine#atem#yugi muto#love#ygo#yu gi oh#ygo dm#millenium world#Btw#I'm talking about pre memory world#Because memory world was a mess
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pokemashe sinnoh trio relationship chart ft two joke ones
#pokemashe#dawn lyre#trainer dawn#lucas aquila#trainer lucas#barry cygnus#rival barry#scarfshipping#kind of#this is pre forming their polycule and theyre kind of sort of very different people by the time its actually formed#being forced to face your own creation at such a young age traumatizes you (on top of other stuff)#so of course they'll never be the same people they were at the end of the journey and the dynamic would change#they still would do incredibly destructive things for each other by the time they do form it though#theyre each others constant. theyve been through everything together.#without the other two just a single one is incomplete. and its vice versa#their relationship still has silliness to it though i promise#6 years later and boom theyre in kalos trying to research the life and death but also theyre on vacation for their first year anniversary#theyre horrifically in love with each other they talk with Serena about their partners with each other for like a second#and she's horrified at how head over heals a person could possibly be for their partners#(especially for dawn. she didn't seem the type at first to Serena but no she's just as bad as the other two.)#they still both pick on barry though but in a friendly way that friends do (but in this case lovers)
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everyone was so harsh to alola it deserved so much better. like this region is so well designed and so pretty and the story is actually really fun? will never forgive everyone for what we did to her
#I started a sun nuzlocke and granted I’ve only just finished the melemele grand trial#and idk! I’m having a great time!#when I played it the first time I didn’t love it but I was also doing pretty bad at the time and had started being less into pokemon#there are reasons I understand being frustrated like the constant stop start of tutorials and cutscenes but also like?#maybe it’s that i know they’re coming and have accepted it but can’t you just like enjoy the ride? it’s a way more involved story I guess#like you get to talk to lillie and hau a bunch and see what they’re up to! feels more like actually going on a journey w your friends yknow#compared to idk sinnoh where you run into Barry occasionally or even bw where there are 3 parallel journeys which intersect#also think when I first played it I didn’t like the removal of megas. z moves as a concept. and the removal of national dex#and yeah all those things suck a little bit maybe I’m just more used to it now after galar+paldea#idk! but man alola itself is so cool it’s just so good#I rlly love the environments and the island setup and god alolan pokemon are so fun#the one thing I DO have beef abt is the relative paucity of grass types but it’s not even that bad. that’s a me thing bc i like grass types#(it would be unfair to judge alola on ice types especially given they’re kinda the best about it to that point bc of tapu village)#anyway I’m rambling but alola!!! alola my beloved I’m so sorry#this is my first time properly playing since it came out bc I didn’t wanna restart ultra/sun for the longest time#my original sun had all my ancient pokemon from the bank launch free trial. rip to my original black + x teams. and also the 2020 mythicals#ultra sun is my last original save file pre-switch so i am very reluctant to restart that. maybe one day. until then! sun <3#luke.txt
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i think it's both important to not erase tashi in the throuple post-2019 new rochelle match and it's also important not to diminish the bond that art and patrick had pre-tashi either
#all three are very important and NEED each other#but there is a clear split of pre and post tashi and they are equally significant in the story and journey of all 3#i love them all your honor
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babes, as soon as I get a couple more sketchbooks and pens so the anxiety of having to make every sketch perfect lest I waste one of the last 7 pages and run out of ink halfway through will be lessened, I'll get back to all your beautiful requests in my inbox!!! y'all are so creative and you conjure such beautiful images in my brain <3333 hugs and kisses to all of you!!!
#mostly the reason i'll go on that early morning excursion into the big city. to buy pens and pencils and sketchbooks#also for the good vibes of being out of the house and exploring and digging through pre-loved things#might even try to film a little follow along on my journey video if i have the energy.#i feel like editing a fun little video with nice music ✌
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This might seem random but I'm asking bc you have a good body and seem like someone who doesn't let laziness/frustration get the best of you. I exercise a lot for body building stuff and I'm pretty good at being consistent but I HATE doing bent over barbell rows and I often skip it bc I do so much other exercises I get tired and I also hate spending too much time in the gym bc I work a lot a guess I try min max my time spent in the gym. I do other lat focused exercises which I justify in my head as making up for it (which rlly it doesn't bc theyre not compound lifts). How do you deal with exercises you hate/you want to skip. Feel free to ignore this if you want I just saw you on my dash after I finished a workout after again ignoring my bent over rows...
Oh jeesh, I appreciate that, but I certainly let both laziness & frustration get the better of me a lot so ur not alone ! 😭 honestly tho , I’ve been lifting for years now, some years better than others, & I personally am at the point in my life where i just truly do not do lifts i don’t like lol. Like to me, there’s already so much time & energy being spent in the rest of our lives doing things we don’t want to do, so if we’re choosing to be somewhere doing something we don’t HAVE to do, then we should at least not be doing things we don’t like!!! I also don’t enjoy barbell rows, but I don’t feel like im missing out bcs there are many other exercises that will exercise the same group of muscles. Heck, I’ve never seen some of the older, biggest guys at my gym ever do a squat on a squat rack — they only use the leg press! that’s not to say don’t do squats, but everyone has a routine that works for them, & i just feel like there are very many ways to work out one group of muscles, so you should just stick to exercises that you enjoy doing and aren’t a chore imo !
#like i love single dumbbell back rows tbh each hand#or close grip cable back rows are >> bcs the cable has the tension that follows thru for the entirety of the movement >>#or just do wide straight bar cable back rows with reverse grip that are also >> but i do them less bcs i like close grip hehe#and ultimately if u REALLY want to keep continuing them even tho u don’t like them at all#maybe just do them first with ur pre workout pump to get them outta the way lol#and worry about form first weight later !!! ive been doing less weight building up to more just so my body isn’t so achy all the time#& it has helped me so much#but i wish u luck on ur journey hope that ANY of this was helpful !!!!! 👍❤️❤️#sorry if it wasn’t tho lol 😵💫😭
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Why Can't You Be Happy?
Pre-DA:I/Pre-DA:O
I headcanon my Lanil Lavellan as formerly Lanil Surana. So I realized: why not write a little from her time in the Ferelden Circle, mostly so I can think about what was her relationship with Anders like? Based on WOT canon(?), he's around 30-32 at the beginning of DA2!?! So I'm going off that idea for his age. Surana is 18 for her Harrowing in my 'verse, so there's a good 12 year age difference. No. Romance. Here. Purely platonic, hints at a sibling-like affection for the future.
Lanil's Pieces Masterlist
“Why can’t you just be happy here?”
The words whipped through the air, blunt and forceful, but without heat.
The older mage, an actual mage not an apprentice like her, jerked around. For a mere second, she saw the glare, the fury, but when their eyes met he was smirking, eyebrow quirked, ready with one of his infamous quips.
She liked the anger better. Anger she understood. Whatever the smirk meant, that she didn’t understand in the least.
Instead of lashing out as expected, the mage froze. Both eyebrows rose almost to his hairline. Which was impressive with a forehead that big.
“I know you. Surana, right?”
“Lanil. You’re Anders.”
“The one and only.”
She propped her fists on her hips, legs braced wide and elbows akimbo. His smirk returned but it was softer, more like a smile. He moved to face her more fully, crisscrossing his legs and propping his elbows on his knees. He’d been perched on this windowseat for hours and hours, ever since he’d left the solitary room that morning. It was the only windowseat in the entire library, so of course he’d taken it even though he didn’t have a single book or scroll with him. A few times, other mages and apprentices had started to come over with arms full of books, but had realized who was sitting there, and discreetly turned away. Lanil was tired of the silence. Of no one saying anything. Absolutely useless.
“Well? Aren’t you going to answer me?” she demanded, stomping a foot. And immediately regretted it. Stefani said only little babies threw temper tantrums.
“You’ll have to repeat the question. I was distracted by the scowl,” he said. Teased.
Rude.
Lanil scowled harder.
“It’s a wonder I’m not already on fire, with a scowl like that on a baby mage like you,” Anders said, still teasing her.
“I have excellent control. Wynne says I’m a prodigy,” Lanil retorted, chin rising proudly. A frown flickered over Anders’ face.
“She said the same about me once. Let’s hope you don’t end up the same as me,” he muttered. His gaze dropped to the floor, his shoulders slumping.
“You wouldn’t be so sad if you would just be happy here,” Lanil said, and then frowned. That didn’t make as much sense out loud as it did in her head, and Anders was chuckling at her. “Well, I’m right. This is our home. We can learn all the magic we want, we have food to eat every day, and nice beds and clothes, and we’re family. We’re never alone. Why can’t you be happy here?”
Something odd happened to her voice. It twisted and pitched upwards and her nose stung. She rubbed at it with her fist and scowled at her slippers peeking out from under the skirt of her robe. He remained silent and so did she. She also fervently wished she’d never come over here. It was as useless as everyone saying nothing at all.
“How old are you, Lanil?”
“Twelve,” she whispered.
“You came here… it was six years ago, wasn’t it? It wasn’t long after my Harrowing.” She nodded. “Don’t you remember your real family?”
“This is my real family!” she shouted, hands balled in fists at her sides.
“Okay, okay, I hear you, Laney,” Anders said quickly, half-scrambling from his seat and raising both hands in surrender.
Lanil grimaced at him. “Laney?”
“What? It’s cute like you. Under all that frowning, there’s a cute little girl in there,” Anders said, ruffling her short ivory hair.
She kept on scowling, but her face was heating, her mouth pulling upwards. No one ever called her ‘cute’. Stefani, though, with her honey-blonde hair and big brown eyes and wide smiles, she was the cute one. Some of the older human apprentices would tug at her ears and call her ‘batty’. That was the closest it got to a compliment on her looks, and only because she thought bats were cute and ignored the obvious sneering. She climbed onto the windowseat next to Anders and pulled her legs close to her chest, arms wrapped around her shins, chin on her knees. After a moment, he resettled on the seat next to her, one leg hanging off the edge and the other crossed and tucked under the opposite knee.
“I don’t remember them,” she muttered. “Not much.”
“What do you remember?”
She screwed up her mouth and her nose scrunched. “I remember… a woman singing. My mother, I guess. She sang to me while brushing my hair, when it was longer. It wasn’t… I think she sang in Elven.” She tugged at the short spiky fringe falling into her eyes, probably the longest her hair got these days.
“That sounds nice. My mother sang often, too.”
Lanil shrugged. “I don’t really remember the words. I remember… the smells, I remember those better. Sometimes the cooks make something and it’s like I’m back there. It was small, and dirty, and I was hungry. That’s what I remember more than anything, being hungry. That and someone crying and crying. And sometimes a man shouting. Why would I want to remember more? It’s better here. I’m not hungry or sad or dirty.”
“That’s… true,” Anders said softly. “But there’s no one to sing to you, either. You’ll never remember those words now.”
Her fingers dug into the thick cloth of her robes, curling, uncurling, kneading like a cat with none of the contentment.
“I was twelve when I came here. I remember my mother, my home town, my home.” Anders said. He leaned back and his head bumped the wall behind him. He turned to the window and stared out into the blue summer sky and the iron-grey lake, to the distant shore and maybe farther. All the way to that home that was better than Kinloch Hold.
“What was it like?”
Anders smiled. “Fun. For a long time, it was fun. Happy. My mother loved to sew, she made me clothes and always added these pretty little embroideries on everything. Flowers, bees, cats, horses, you name it, she could embroider it. It used to be a game for me and my father. Finding what Ma had hidden somewhere on our shirts or trousers. One time she made a giant pink and purple butterfly on my pa’s smallclothes, right on his butt cheek.”
Lanil burst into giggles, smothering it against her knees.
“My father wanted me to be a farmer like him, and I liked it well enough. I like animals, I like making things grow, but all I really cared about was playing with my friends. Then, suddenly, between one day and the next, I was a mage. My father was scared of me, hated me, and my mother begged him over and over not to say anything. But he went to the Templars anyway. They put me in chains, dragged me away screaming while my mother cried,” Anders said. He broke off with a scoff, but Lanil could see how his eyes gleamed. “It was so pathetic they let me take something from her. A pillow she’d made for me.”
“A pillow?” Lanil asked quietly. She had nothing from the Alienage; she wanted nothing from there. She chose to keep her hair cut short. The first time someone had tried to make her brush her hair that first year here, she screamed and screamed until she set the hairbrush on fire. It was better not to bother with it.
“Yes. It’s a small thing. I could carry it myself even with the manacles,” he told her, dryly. “Probably why they allowed it.”
“Did it have a butterfly, too?”
“No. Cats, dozens of cats running or sleeping or prancing around,” Anders said, laughing a little. “I’ve always loved cats. Maybe the pillow came first, or maybe my love of cats. I’ll show it to you one day.”
“I like dogs better.”
He recoiled, his hand pressed to his chest, his eyes rolling back. “I have been wounded. Dear Andraste, save this girl’s soul. She prefers dogs.”
“Andraste had a mabari. She prefers dogs, too,” Lanil said, but she was grinning at him. He was so ridiculous.
“Uh uh, she may have had a warhound for her little revolution,” Lanil snorted at ‘little revolution’, “but there’s no Chant about her not liking cats. I’m sure she had the good taste to have plenty of happily vicious mousers in her war train.”
“Like Mr. Wiggums?”
His brown eyes lit up as he beamed. “Exactly like Mr. Wiggums. I didn’t think anyone else called him that.”
“Everyone does now. He didn’t have a name before.”
“I’m sure Mr. Wiggums will more than earn his name. He’s got the makings of greatness, I can tell,” Anders said. Lanil shook her head, but she wanted to smile. “So do you.”
“Me?”
“Wynne did say you’re a prodigy, didn’t she?” Anders reached out and placed a hand on her head. This was the most physical affection she'd ever had. Only Stef ever hugged her or held her hand, and sometimes they shared the same bed. It was... nice. “You’ll be a great mage one day. Exactly the kind the Chantry wants.”
Even though Lanil felt her heart swelling, pride lifting her chin, she couldn’t help scowling. That last bit, those last few words… sounded so sad.
“You’re a great mage already,” she said slowly. Anders’ eyebrow rose. “I’ve heard Wynne talk about your Healing, and First Enchanter talks on and on about you. Even the Templars like you and laugh at your jokes.”
Anders glanced away, back to the outside view. His jaw looked tight. His mouth pulled down even tighter.
“You still haven’t told me why you can’t be happy here,” she added mulishly. And she realized she wanted him to be happy here. She wanted him to ruffle her hair and tease her and praise her magic, too. Like everyone else in Kinloch, she couldn’t help but like him.
“Haven’t I?”
“I don’t like it when people answer questions with questions,” Lanil muttered, scowling. “It’s annoying.”
Anders smirked. “For someone who wants me to be happy, you’re not exactly happy yourself.”
“Of course I am.”
“And yet, this was one of the only times I’ve ever heard you laugh. I almost never see you smile.”
“I’m not going to laugh at everything like an idiot,” Lanil snapped at him, her face heating.
“Everyone needs a job, and I do fill the role of fool so well,” he said breezily.
“You don’t have to. You don’t have to be a fool,” Lanil said vehemently.
“Sometimes only fools survive.” Anders’ smile looked fake and she hated it. “I hope you survive, too. I wish we all could live. Fools and forceful little bullies like you.”
“’m not a bully.” She scowled and wondered why he said 'live' like that. Like it was something he could only dream of, not something he was doing right now.
“Wouldn’t it be great if we could do whatever we wanted? Jump in the lake and swim on a beautiful summer’s day, or play with as many cats or dogs as we wanted… or sit still and listen to our mothers sing while they brush our hair…” Anders trailed off. Again, he was staring outside.
Lanil watched his face. Watched as his false smile fell until there was nothing in his expression at all. His brown eyes, so lively and golden-hued, became flat and dull. Shadows as deep and dark as bruises under his eyes, his complexion already shades and shades lighter than her own now the color of ash and milk. His cheeks looked hollow, almost gaunt. It made her remember those blurry memories of hunger in a dirty little room where that woman cried and the man shouted. How many days had his solitary been this time?
As if he could feel her intense stare, Anders inhaled with a breath that shuddered. He broke his own gaze on the horizon and turned to her. His smirk came back, small but genuine, and it made Lanil’s chest expand, as if she hadn’t been breathing properly during that silence.
“Well, Laney--”
“Don’t call me Laney.”
“--if you really want me to be happy, there’s only one thing for it.” Anders stretched his long, long legs out over the floor. Then, he stood and stretched his arms high over his head. One day she’d be that tall. If he wouldn’t keep running away, she’d have a chance to ask him how to do it.
“What one thing?” she asked, suspiciously.
“Cookies. That’s what I need.”
Lanil blinked. “Cookies?”
“Stolen cookies.”
“Aren’t you too old to be stealing cookies?” Lanil said with a frown. Anders covered his eyes with a hand, swooning back against the wall.
“Old, she calls me. Old. I’m twenty-four, you little brat. Aren’t you too young to have the face of a hag?”
Lanil grinned. “At least my forehead isn’t bigger than a slate.”
“It is not!”
Lanil uncurled from the seat and grabbed his hand. “C’mon. Stef is the best sneak-thief. She’ll help us steal cookies.”
“Another brat ready to make fun of me, I assume?” But he let her lead him by the hand and was only a little stooped doing so.
“Yup.”
He sighed behind her.
#Lanil's Pieces#dragon age#ficlet#dragon age Anders#dao surana#i really enjoyed this#lanil was my loyalist little koolaid drinker untol she LEFT the circle#and she realized oh wow i never want to go back#anders was right#and writing this was like the beginning of that journey before she even realized it#Anders not being happy was destroying HER world view#she couldn't understand how someone everyone praised who was so powerful and fun and easygoing#how come he CANT BE HAPPY whats wrong with HIM#but isn't be him it's the Circle and she couldn't let that thought in or it'd destroy what she loved#stefani is Amell btw#anti circle? pro circle? a little bit of both?#kitty writes a thing#Anders out here inspiring rebellion in pre teens oop#it was fucking FUN writing her and Anders here#i might write more in a more light hearted scenario
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