#Power Factor Best Practices

[leafyeyes417]

Danny was tired. Tucker and Sam had drifted away over the duration of high school. The ghost attacks and danger had been the main factor that started the dissipation of their friendship. Jazz had left for college a while ago leaving him to deal with his parents alone. He had eventually created his own secret base and left the house permanently even if it was technically illegal at 16. No one noticed since he still went to school.

Including being a teen hero who wasn’t appreciated in Amity just was the icing on the cake. After receiving approval from clockwork and mastering his portal abilities, he closed the portal down. It wasn’t easy to do but he made sure everyone was out of the blast range when it shut down. The Fenton house was gone but it hadn’t been home for quite some time.

It was because he was so tired that he was where he was. Drifting out of Earth’s atmosphere, Danny let himself luxuriate in the feeling of space. It made his core hum pleasantly. He moved to a good spot still in Earth’s gravity and curled up and just let himself drift along in a haze. He toned down his glow and his body started to slowly fade into the space around him till he was practically invisible.

He floated in this haze for probably a week, slowly recuperating and feeling himself slowly change. There was no one to miss him for any length of time and he wasn’t worried about his human life at all. Honestly he probably would have drifted longer but something woke him up. Some guy yelling about conquering Earth or something.

Annoyed at being woken up by a fruitloop Danny allowed his form to grow with the power of space he collected and snarled out a “Oy fruitloop! I was woken up because of you! Shut up already!” and smacked him into the sun with a giant hand. Turning his ire on the army with the fruitloop he quickly sent them flying with a blast of power. It would take them many years to gather up again with how hard he sent them flying.

Huffing, he turned and glanced at the group of people left. Shrinking down he spoke and gestures wildly. “I was taking the best nap of my afterlife and was woken up by those pests. You gotta better place I can nap?”

Luckily someone was quick to let him know they had a place. He was guided to a space station soon after and was soon sleeping on the comfiest bed ever.

[trappolia]

SUNDAY IS FOR REST ── sunday x halovian!reader, 918

"do be careful, my dove," he murmurs as you straighten out the light feathers behind his ear.

"you haven't preened yourself in a while, have you?" your voice is soft, a hint of chiding to it that makes his heart flutter — there's a groggy rasp to your tone as well, having just stirred from your own dreams. sunday dares not look back at you, for there is a sweet domesticity to be found in the impression of rumpled bedsheets against your cheek and the heavy-lidded eyelids that make it known that you would love nothing more than to go back to sleep — proper sleep.

a hum resonates in sunday's chest as he allows himself to be fully immersed in the moment; early morning, messy hair and feathers, the sleepy press of lip against lip. his head tilts to the side, allowing greater access for you to tidy the feathers in question.

"you are correct. there's no need for me to do such preening in the dreamscape, though i prefer it when you offer your generous help," he replies, a mix of contentment and fondness pervading his voice.

"i'll help you only if you stay still," you grumble. your hands, which were straightening out his feathers, are now hovering just above them as sunday tries very hard not to shift in place again.

he cannot help it, truly. it is not just the factor that sunday is unused to, well, anyone touching something as intimate as his halovian wings, but also the fact that the slightest brush of your skin against his is a sensation like no other.

not that he would ever tell you, of course.

sunday nods, a silent affirmation that he will try his best to remain still, although a trace of a smile dances upon his lips. as you resume tending to his wings, each brush of your fingers brings a newfound appreciation for the sensation of your touch. he can feel the slight tingle, akin to electricity, every time your skin makes contact with his wings.

"my apologies," he murmurs, a chuckle slipping past his lips — as if he is not willing his chest to rise and fall rhythmically, having to manually breathe under your intimate ministrations. "i shall endeavour my utmost to be an inanimate statue. your wish is my command."

"haha," you say dryly.

in spite of your tone, sunday cannot help but chuckle at your jest. a cruel man he is, to find amusement in your grumpiness in the early morn. your nimble fingers gently untangle his feathers, and the sensation is a mix of tingles and warmth that spread across his wings. the act of having someone, especially someone he holds in such high esteem, tend to these parts of him that are reserved for only the most intimate moments is endearing, to say the least.

as you work, your movements deliberate and precise, your lover muses softly, "only you could make tending to feathers feel like a luxury."

"it is a luxury when you are not the one doing it yourself," you huff, hands moving around with practiced ease: smoothing a feather here, tugging a broken one out there.

sunday's chest rumbles with barely suppressed laughter at your huff of annoyance, but he remains true to his word and does all he can to keep still. his skin feels electrified with each brush of your touch, even more potent than before, and he wonders idly if it's because he's aware of how much effort you're taking in taking care of him. he is always the one caring and fussing, rather than being cared for and fussed over. it is strange, for the tables to be turnt. strange, had it been anyone else but you.

"perhaps," he manages to say between bouts of laughter, reaching back to catch one of your wrists and presses a chaste kiss upon it. "we could make a habit of this."

"is it truly proper of the head of the oak family to make a habit of keeping himself less than pristine?" you murmur.

how embarrassing; the passing thought occurs to sunday at your words. indeed, it is unbecoming for him, who stands at a position of such power and authority, to be so unkempt, so careless around you. it feels… freeing.

and so his response is a gentle tug upon your wrist, guiding your arms to wrap around his shoulders and link with his fingers. with a smile full of affection and a touch of teasing, he gently brushes his thumb over the tender flesh between your thumb and forefinger.

"i am simply indulging in the pleasure of being cared for," he answers in that same gentle rumble. "and if that means i am a tad bit less than pristine as a result, so be it."

"i suppose so," you hum, and from where sunday sits in between your legs, he feels you lean forward, hooking your chin over his shoulder. your own wings tickle his cheek, like a lover's kiss in the early morning. "preen me next?"

a low rumble resonates somewhere deep in his chest at the feeling of your breath against his neck. the closeness you've allowed between you is not something sunday takes lightly, and he relishes in it with every beat of his heart.

"with pleasure," he answers, unable to help the upwards tug of his lips as he squeezes your palms.

"let me take care of you, my dove — as you do to me."

© trappolia 2024

[slayingfiction]

Mastering the Art of Dialogue

Dialogue is the lifeline of any narrative. It brings characters to life, propels the plot, and creates depth in the story. However, writing dialogue that feels real and engaging can be challenging. Here are some tips to help you refine your dialogue-writing skills:

1. Listen to Real Conversations

The foundation of great dialogue is authenticity. Spend time listening to how people speak in real life. Notice the flow of conversation, the interruptions, the ums and ahs, and the unfinished thoughts. Real speech is rarely grammatically perfect or fully articulated. Incorporating these nuances can make your dialogue more relatable.

2. Each Character Should Have a Unique Voice

Your characters should be distinguishable by their dialogue alone. A teenager will speak differently from an elderly person; a doctor will use different terminology than a street artist. Think about their background, education, and personality. These factors should influence their speech patterns, vocabulary, and even the rhythm of their dialogue.

3. Use Dialogue to Show, Not Tell

Dialogue is a powerful tool for showing the reader what’s happening without explicitly telling them. Through conversations, you can reveal your characters' thoughts, feelings, and intentions. For example, instead of narrating that a character is nervous, you could show it through their stammering dialogue or their avoidance of direct answers.

4. Keep It Concise

In real conversations, people often meander through their thoughts. In written dialogue, however, it's important to be concise. Every line of dialogue should serve a purpose, whether it’s moving the plot forward, revealing character, or creating tension. If a piece of dialogue doesn’t add value to your story, consider cutting it.

5. Read Your Dialogue Aloud

One of the best ways to test your dialogue is to hear it. Reading your dialogue aloud can help you catch awkward phrasings or unnatural speech patterns. Better yet, have someone else read it to you. This can provide insight into how your dialogue will sound to your readers.

6. Use Subtext to Your Advantage

Not everything needs to be said explicitly. Subtext—the underlying meaning behind the spoken words—can add depth and complexity to your dialogue. Characters might say one thing but mean another, based on their emotions, relationships, or situations. This layering of meaning can make your dialogue more engaging and thought-provoking.

7. Balance Dialogue with Action and Description

While dialogue is critical, it should be balanced with narrative description and action. This balance helps maintain the pacing of your story and ensures that your scenes are visually and emotionally compelling. Action and description can also provide context that enhances the meaning and impact of your dialogue.

Conclusion

Great dialogue can transform a good story into an unforgettable one. By applying these tips, you can craft dialogue that captures the essence of your characters and engages your readers on a deeper level. Remember, writing is a craft that improves with practice. Keep experimenting with your dialogue, and don't be afraid to rewrite until it sounds just right.

Writing dialogue is a skill that can be honed over time. The more you practice and read, the better you'll become at capturing the essence of conversation on the page.

[reachartwork]

how to write fight scenes

many people have told me that Chum has good fight scenes. a small subset of those people have asked me on advice for how to write fight scenes. i am busy procrastinating, so i have distilled my general ethos on fight scenes into four important points. followed by a homework assignment.

Fight scenes take place on two axii - the physical and the intellectual. For the most interesting fight scenes, neither character should have a full inventory of the other's abilities, equipment, fighting style, etc. This gives you an opportunity to pull out surprises, but, more importantly, turns each fight into a jockeying of minds, as all characters involved have to puzzle out what's going on in real time. This is especially pertinent for settings with power systems. It feels more earned if the characters are trying to deduce the limitations and reach of the opponent's power rather than the opponent simply explaining it to them (like in Bleach. Don't do that). 1a. Have characters be incorrect in their assumptions sometimes, leading to them making mistakes that require them to correct their internal models of an opponent under extreme pressure. 1b. If you really have to have a character explain their powers to someone there should be a damn good reason for it. The best reason is "they are lying". The second best reason is "their power requires it for some reason".

Make sure your blows actually have weight. When characters are wailing at each other for paragraphs and paragraphs and nothing happens, it feels like watching rock 'em sock 'em robots. They beat each other up, and then the fight ends with a decisive blow. Not interesting! Each character has goals that will influence what their victory condition is, and each character has a physical body that takes damage over the course of a fight. If someone is punched in the gut and coughs up blood, that's an injury! It should have an impact on them not just for the fight but long term. Fights that go longer than "fist meets head, head meets floor" typically have a 'break-down' - each character getting sloppier and weaker as they bruise, batter, and break their opponent, until victory is achieved with the last person standing. this keeps things tense and interesting.

I like to actually plan out my fight scenes beat for beat and blow for blow, including a: the thought process of each character leading to that attempted action, b: what they are trying to do, and c: how it succeeds or fails. In fights with more than two people, I like to use graph paper (or an Excel spreadsheet with the rows turned into squares) to keep track of positions and facings over time.

Don't be afraid to give your characters limitations, because that means they can be discovered by the other character and preyed upon, which produces interesting ebbs and flows in the fight. A gunslinger is considerably less useful in a melee with their gun disarmed. A swordsman might not know how to box if their sword is destroyed. If they have powers, consider what they have to do to make them activate, if it exhausts them to use, how they can be turned off, if at all. Consider the practical applications. Example: In Chum, there are many individuals with pyrokinetic superpowers, and none of them have "think something on fire" superpowers. Small-time filler villain Aaron McKinley can ignite anything he's looking at, and suddenly the fight scenes begin constructing themselves, as Aaron's eyes and the direction of his gaze become an incredibly relevant factor.

if you have reached this far in this essay I am giving you homework. Go watch the hallway fight in Oldboy and then novelize it. Then, watch it again every week for the rest of your life, and you will become good at writing fight scenes.

as with all pieces of advice these are not hard and fast rules (except watching the oldboy hallway fight repeatedly) but general guidelines to be considered and then broken when it would produce an interesting outcome to do so.

okay have a good day. and go read chum.

[camilledlc]

I think Wade Wilson is way more intelligent than people give him credit for. Or, another character essay no one asked for :

This will be based both on comics and movies. Also, spoilers for Deadpool and Wolverine.

I think it's often said that Wade doesn't know how to read situations, as he often acts inappropriately during them. He doesn't seem to sense the mood of the person he's talking to, angering them more often than not, and he doesn't really care about watching his mouth around children, etc. There are tons of examples of Wade being 'stupid', and 'immature', blah blah blah. But I don't think that's quite true.

Wade has also numerous moments where he perfectly reads a situation. He is extremely aware of how others may perceive his scars, he figured Negasonic Teenage Warhead pretty easily during the first movie (when talking about sarcastic comments or whatever, if I remember correctly). He knows how people act and think, and he definitely knows how to assess a situation. When he got Johnny Storm killed, he knew what he was doing. He was into a dangerous situations, just having been kidnapped and he couldn't fight, not even knowing how strong and what powers Cassandra Nova had. But by turning her against Johnny, not only was he able to assess her, but also prove that he wasn't here to cause her trouble. It was a cruel and ruthless action, but it was smart nonetheless.

Besides, people often forgets very important facts about his skills. Wade is an extremely good fighter, and that's partially due to the fact that he's a master at almost every martial arts. He knows a bunch of them, and he is capable of practicing them with impeccable form. He's also a master at espionage, infiltrations, cover missions, etc. He knows how to handle a lot of different weapons, and he is canonically one of the best fighters in the entire Marvel Universe. All of those skills require a certain level of intelligence. Fighting demands to remember the different styles and techniques, as well as enough practice to switch between them easily. Espionage, infiltration, and cover missions demand someone who is capable of discretion and and ability to judge a situation, notice details that no one else would and invent on the spot creative ways to do things. All in all, he has to be extremely smart to be able to do all of that. That's also without counting the fact that he knows how to speak fluently five different languages.

With all of these proofs, it's impossible to say that Wade is dumb. But why does he acts like it?

There is no official answer as to why Wade is this way. The most you can get is that he is extremely mentally unstable. This is the result of both a bad childhood and very traumatizing experiences as a superhero. It is said he was already mentally unstable during his childhood, so I'm inclined to believe that it also has something to do with his brain in general.

What I personally believe is that Wade is someone who gets bored extremely easily. He has ADHD (not really official in the movies, but canon in the comics), and he always seems to jump from one topic to the other. His mind is often considered a mess, and he himself sometimes has trouble keeping up with it. I think that someone like him has to be stimulated at all times, because boredom is definitely the worst thing that could happen to him. Even in the last movie, he seemed to hate his job because of how boring it was, not hesitating to go back into action and becoming more and more himself again as he just do exciting things. He has always been like this, even before he got his regenerating factor. When he did his job, he wasn't always careful and often loud-mouthed. It didn't interest him to just kill people, he wanted a fight. He wanted a back and forth, a sort of game. He needs to feel in danger, needs the thrill of it.

But then he gets his mutation. Suddenly, he can't die, he can't be seriously hurt, nothing has any real consequences. And so the games became boring. What is the point of putting himself in dangerous situations if he's never really in danger? How boring it is to do a job where you're perfectly safe? The only kind of thrill he can find anymore is by having the back and forth verbally. That's when it has consequences, and people actually able to surprise him, to beat him even. Attacking by talking his is one way to not feel bored. He surprises, he shocks, he annoys, but it's always different. Even during the last movie, when he was with Logan, he clearly said they didn't need to fight, yet he couldn't stop edging him verbally, always finding ways to push his buttons.

Wade is a very bored person, with a great understanding of where the limits are. And because he's so good at finding the limits, he's even better at crossing them willingly, sometimes at the expanse of the people he loves, because he can't be bored.

(I also like the interpretation of him just needing to be at the centre of attention, but I think it's a bit more classical and has already been done and re-done. So, this one is a bit trickier and way funnier for me.)

[lenaellsi]

if you take "I can make a difference" at face value you simply must also consider "you're the bad guys.” like they are both vital aspects of aziraphale's decision. the problem is not just aziraphale's attempt to lead a corrupt system, it is also his continued belief in the superiority of heaven and angels over hell and demons. that's why crowley was so hurt. it's not just a miscommunication, or a disagreement on the practicalities of changing hearts and minds in heaven--it is a fundamental misunderstanding of morality and of crowley as a person. if crowley had asked aziraphale to come to hell to help fix it and protect the earth, he would not have gone. he says so. it’s not just about safety, or reform. it is about being Good.

and all of this happens because aziraphale is not just motivated by fear and love: he is also motivated by shame. he is insecure in his identity as an angel and a Good Guy, and both his alienation from heaven and his relationship with crowley have always aggravated this insecurity. it’s why shax’s mockery hit him so hard, and why he’s so susceptible to manipulation from the metatron. he desperately wants to be taken seriously and treated with respect and to have power and be an uncomplicated Good Guy, and that is just as much of a motivating factor in his decision as his desire to protect humanity and crowley.

and re: “appoint you to be an angel”: I know people want to insist that aziraphale has never wanted to change anything about crowley, but I’m sorry, I just don’t think that’s true. over and over in season 2 aziraphale demonstrates a desire to sand the rough edges off people and things for the sake of the Greater Good, without consideration for the free will or complex emotions of others. obviously this tendency culminates in the ball, where he exerts control over all of the humans to make everything perfect for maggie and nina, and in doing so, infringes on their autonomy and nina’s (crowley’s narrative mirror!) capacity to feel her own anger and sadness. and he has never liked that crowley is a demon. in his mind, the problem has always been that crowley was put in the wrong category, not that the entire system of dividing people and angels into Good and Bad is ridiculous. that’s the exact lesson he needs to learn.

and yes, his intentions are good, absolutely. I don’t think aziraphale ever acts out of malice, and I do think he genuinely wants the best for the people around him, particularly crowley. after all, if crowley is accepted as an angel again, as aziraphale has always secretly considered him to be, their relationship can (in his mind) finally stop being so fraught with danger and conflict. (the other side of that, of course, is that aziraphale can also stop being so ashamed for loving someone who is supposed to be Bad, and everything in his life will make sense again, the way it hasn’t since he met that star maker who got so upset about god’s plan.)

but that’s not who crowley is, and it never has been. even before he fell, crowley’s recklessness and relentless questions made aziraphale uncomfortable. their relationship has never been safe or easy, and in wanting to make it so, aziraphale is demonstrating a desire to change the parts of crowley that led to his fall, whether he intends to or not.

I’m rambling, but the point is: the insistence on reframing this moment as a purely selfless, calculated, self-sacrificing decision by aziraphale to protect crowley and the world ignores the uglier parts of the things he said in order to make their eventual reconciliation less complicated, and it’s really frustrating to me. crowley is in fact right to be upset by what he said, and it’s not just a misunderstanding that can be fixed with aziraphale saying “I was only trying to protect you!” and another kiss. it’s a culmination of all of the double think aziraphale has been doing in order to preserve his vision of heaven as The Source Of Truth And Light And Good since before the beginning of time, and it’s time for him to finally unpack it.

(and because every post on the final fifteen needs a disclaimer: aziraphale is trying his best and has an incredible amount of love in his heart and wants so badly to do good and ALSO the things he says, does, and believes can be incredibly hurtful and destructive. all of these things can be true.)

[a-998h]

Can I request Yan! Harbringers x Naive Y/n?

Reader is the 1st known “Demi-Archon” (Demigod) to be born—defying nature. Could your powers surpass an actual God? What would happen if the heavens discovered you? These questions were the motivating factors behind their Archon parent’s overprotectiveness & secrecy. Until one day, Reader accidentally gets lost while running errands. They run into a member of the Fatui. Bc reader was sheltered their whole lives, they happily agree to follow the mysterious person back to their hq. What happens next?

Fun Fact: I’m actually new to Genshin. I started watching Tik toks about the hat guy last month, so I have a small concept of the lore.

Simple, the Harbingers now claim you as their kid/little sibling.

You were a sheltered child due to your archon parent being scared the Heavenly Principles would do to you if they knew about your existence.

At first, the harbingers were going to turn you over to the Tsaritsa, but your cuteness changed their mind. Childe would be playing with you, sometimes bringing you to his family to hang out.

Once your Archon parent finds you, a deal is struck. You get to spend sometime with the Harbingers so long as you're returned.

During those Harbinger visits, Arlecchino takes you to hang out with the kids from the House of the Hearth. She would make sure you had healthy childhood experiences alongside other children. You also get some small toys when you're good.

Columbia, Pantalone, and Pulcinella would spoil you with gifts of all kinds. Columbia likes to care for your hair while Pantalone covers your clothing.

Pulcinella becomes the ultimate grandpa. He gives you gifts, take you on fun field trips, and teaches you practical things.

Signora fills the second parent shaped hole in your life. Doing things with you a mom would do, and makes sure you have a basic understanding of healthy relationships regardless of your sexuality.

Dottore is never left alone with you due to his own issues, no one trusts him and you're kept away from him.

Sandrine teaches you basic mechanical stuff, mostly small puppets and dolls.

Scaramouche is your ne wvig brother no matter how much he denies it. There will be pranks, mayhem, and love.

Capitano teaches you about weapons, some history stuff, let lines, and basic self defense.

Overall, you have a new extended family who wants to give you the best childhood they can.

Pierrot doesn't see that often, either because he's doing his job as the leader of the Harbingers or being the right hand man to the Tsaritsa. Your presence causes him to keep an eye on you, but you've never met the old man in person. You've only heard, probably exaggerated, stories about him and his power. The most he interacts with you in person is a hello in the halls of the palace or handing you a book her bought for you.

[polarspaz]

NikaEffect AU

While under the influence of Nika, Sanji gains some interesting powers, but the most notable ability he obtains is his "Allure" The best way I can explain it, is like how Bugs Bunny gets so many of his enemies to play along with his hijinks. He can't outright control people, but he can overwhelm them and make them act in ways they never would.

A good example of this is when Sanji transforms for the first time.

Sanji and Zoro are bickering in the kitchen and everything seems normal until Sanji's heart starts to feel funny. He panics, thinking it might have something to do with his Germa genetics, but that fear is abruptly smothered by overwhelming joy.

It's intoxicating, he feels beyond drunk, and Sanji can't stop the laughter that starts spilling from his lips. He looks up to see Zoro frozen stiff in front of him, his face etched in slight horror and Sanji suddenly feels mischievous. He darts forward before Zoro can react and kicks him through the galley doors and onto deck of the Sunny.

He slides out after the Swordsman, grinning ear to ear in sheer delight, ignoring the alarm of the rest of the crew before going after Zoro again with another kick. He's trying to spar with the other man, but his new boost in abilities is making the fight very one sided. It's not helping ease the distressing amount of power that's now burning inside him.

"Boring!" Is the only warning Zoro gets before Sanji grabs his arms and spins. It takes a moment for Zoro to understand what is happening, but the fight has evolved into some kind of dance. His feet and body are moving in perfect tune with Sanji, like they've practiced this a thousand times before, but Zoro's never danced like this in his entire life.

It should disturb him more, not being in control of his body, but the sheer elation and joy coming from Sanji softens the fear. There's no malice to this, in fact it's kind of of enjoyable, being swept in this sheer high that's permeating from Sanji. It reminds him of bathing in the warm sun.

They only stop when Luffy declares he wants to dance too, and instead of snapping at him, Sanji just smiles wider, drops Zoro like a lead weight, before grabbing the Captain with a delighted chuckle. "Anything for my Mon cher capitaine!"

Zoro can only watch dumbfounded as Sanji pulls a flower from his hair, placing it between his teeth, and starts dancing with Luffy up in the sky. It's crazy to watch, especially with how Sanji takes full advantage of Luffy's ability to stretch, but it also shows that Luffy seems to be under the same effect Zoro was. Luffy couldn't dance to save his life, but there he was, pulling off moves he couldn't even comprehend with pure ease.

+Sanji other abilities include super speed, which he usually uses to make ludicrous large, delicious meals in seconds. (Yes, he is making the food cook faster too) -He can also float/fly. -The Nika power can last up to thirty minutes or an hour. When it's gone, Sanji is completely, and utterly wasted. He's emotionally numb and his body won't even move, meaning Zoro usually has to carry his ass to bed every time this happens.

-Why does this happen? No one knows. They try to find some kind of commonality to these sudden transformations but there seems to be no connecting factor, and for some reason, poor Sanji gets it the worse.

[inbarfink]

I talked before about how Papyrus’ inability to kill the Player - or rather his ability to always reduce the Player to just one HP - is an indication of not just his incredible kind-heartedness but also some remarkable skill. Considering no other character in the game can safely reduce an enemy to just a single Hit Point with no risk of accidentally killing them. Including other powerful characters who would have an obvious incentive to do so. 

So I think that another factor in why Papyrus is the Best at Not Killing Anyone (outside of his general moral disposition and dedication, which are also important to note) is… probably Sans. If Papyrus ever had anyone else to spar/practice FIGHTing with, it would only be his brother. (Remember, Undyne’s ‘Warrior Training’ is actually just cooking lessons). And Sans only has one HP - Papyrus had to learn to be careful to make sure he never hurts his beloved older bro too much. 

In contrast, when Toriel had to learn to use her magic, that was probably before the War of Humans and Monsters, with her old Boss Monster family? Or at the very least with another Monster that is more powerful than ‘the weakest enemy’. So, even if she never ever wanted to use her powers to kill anymore - she never had to learn to be as gentle as Papyrus had to be gentle. I mean, she had some skills at weakening her attacks and making them safer, but they are not quite as precise as Papyrus’ is. And so…

[serpentface]

Retconned Wardi firearms- a basic handgun, a highly decorative ceremonial handgun (belonging to Faiza), and a lance-gun.

Gun tech has officially been nerfed down to hand cannons (press F) (this has been a long time coming but I'd been fallacy of sunk costs-ing myself out of retconning).

Handguns are held similarly to a shotgun, with the butt pressed into the user's shoulder, one hand gripping under the barrel, and the other free to ignite the gunpowder. These represent the most advanced firearms in contemporary usage, both in make and in their use of uniform iron projectiles built to match the gun's bore for greater range and efficiency. Lance-guns are the more basal form, usually larger and mounted with the pole held over the shoulder, and are most effectively used by two people (one to hold and aim, one to light the gunpowder).

The spread of firearms is currently mostly limited to the Eastern Inner Seaway peoples (with some additional distribution via overland trade), and actual manufacture of hand cannons and gunpowder at Significant scale is limited to the region's core powers.

The reason for this limited spread is partially due to specific elements of the technology's history. Gunpowder was first synthesized by Burri alchemists and considered to be the discovery of the legendary divine weapon + solar fire of the deity Inanariya, and its formula (along with techniques for ideally refining its components) remained a closely guarded state secret. It was used predominantly in priestly contexts to generate flame and explosive sounds (in conjunction with earlier practices of generating multicolored flames with use of other chemicals), then integrated into combustible weaponry in the forms of fire lances, which would eventually develop into early handcannons.

The treatment of gunpowder as a guarded sacred or semi-sacred substance continued with Wardi adoption, where knowledge of its making is considered a closed rite. It's name (inya tsatsul or just tsatsul, a derived adoption of the Burri iñazatsūya) still reflects a divine solar association (the Burri word means 'sun's thunder', the Wardi 'inya' invokes the sun, 'tsatsul' is an adapted loanword and has no meaning independent of the substance itself), though its priestly use is now predominantly associated with the firearm'ed Odonii (rather than priests of the solar Face Inyamache). The composition of gunpowder can no longer be regarded as a Secret by any means, though efforts to obscure the methods of its creation are still moderately successful and has kept knowledge of gunpowder manufacture more limited than the total sphere of firearm usage itself.

The actual strongest limiting factor of firearm usage is the rarity of natural saltpeter deposits necessary for making gunpowder. The practice of actively producing saltpeter via nitraries has not been developed anywhere in the setting, and all is instead obtained via natural sources. These sources are rare and limited within the current spread of firearm technology, and result in gunpowder being a limited and expensive substance to produce. The weapons themselves are also very expensive to manufacture (a good quality steel SWORD is far too material-cost prohibitive for most people to own), particularly high quality firearms designed for use with standardized ammunition.

These guns are also very basal, and logistical difficulties in their use (weight, very slow loading and firing speed, high visibility, Relatively low reach and accuracy) along with the restrictive cost of production has kept firearms far from rendering conventional weaponry, armor, and projectiles obsolete (even within the societies that have access to them). They are still, however, very devastating in use within their contemporary context, particularly in that high quality guns have a longer range than the best arrow-based projectiles, and utterly negate most contemporary forms of armor at close range.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

So, I been curious and I wonder if you have answers; how strong is Idia? I know physically that a new born kitten could woop him, while technology wise not even the master control could stand against him, but what about magic wise? And where does he stand in comparison to the other dorm heads? I know in ch 6 he was strong as heck but isn't that mainly because he was getting energy from the blots?

(Thank you for your time)

Mmm, well... I don't think "magic strength" alone accounts for how good of a mage someone is. You could have all the power in the world but could be a terrible mage just because of how you use it (like if you lack control), or perhaps because you can only cast a few powerful spells before you blow through your energy reserves. All spells are also not made equal; there are defensive spells, offensive spells, healing spells, and more! Because of all that, it's hard for us to really quantify how "strong" a mage is, because really each mage seems to specialize in their own skillsets. It's not "which class is the strongest?" but rather "which class fits your preferred play style?" For this reason, I'm not going to be formally ranking the dorm leaders but instead will point out their strengths and weaknesses.

As Idia points out in book 6:

Riddle has an artificially large magic pool because he started his magical training from a young age. He is capable of casting strong spells and favors offense, but also has low physical stamina and tires easily (from blot accumulation) because he tries to brute-force. His mental state is also said to be heavily impacted by external factors.

Leona can cast spells quickly and effortlessly; his magic pool is described to be "huge", but we don't know how this really relates to the other problem children in terms of scale. He also seems to boast precision, as he can "tailor" his defensive spells' strength to counter his opponents. Because of how efficient Leona is, he barely accumulates unnecessary blot. Stress does not have much effect on how fast he produces blot, but intense emotions do cause a significant spike in him. Additionally, Leona is skilled in flight due to playing magift/spelldrive.

Azul is a relatively slow spellcaster but makes up for that with precision and access to a variety of spells. He watches the flow of a battle, keeps cool, and then plays support/heals as needed. Idia also notes that while Azul can cast many different spells, Azul also does not have a large enough magic pool to support them and so has to be more careful about what and when he uses his magic.

Vil is very stable across the board and is quite resilient to blot. Stress does not have a huge effect on him, but the blot does seem to stick around for longer because of his larger magic pool. Something else to keep in mind is that Vil excels in making potions, which is another form of magic.

Please keep in mind that these refer to mainly COMBAT scenarios, which are not the only cases in which you would use magic... so this isn't an entirely accurate assessment; it's just the most convenient assessment since the game blatantly lays the comparisons out for us. Let's now piece together what we know of the remaining dorm leaders based on lore we have:

Kalim does not strike me as someone who has a particularly large pool of magic (it's never commented on, nor shown). I'd place him at around normal until otherwise refuted by the canon. We know he's not particularly proficient in his studies, as he just barely scrapes by in classes with intense help from Jamil. This may not always translate to poor performance in practical settings, but we also have no standout moments of Kalim pulling off impressive spells or being a notable mage. He also doesn't seem to be aware of the practical or strategic uses for his own UM unless others in his immediate vicinity are in need of large amounts of water. It's possible that he's incredibly powerful, but lacks awareness of how to best utilize his magic.

Malleus is stated in the lore to be one of the top 5 mages in the WORLD. He uses magic on a daily basis and barely blinks an eye to when he does amazing feats like STOPPING TIME ITSELF. Book 7 also reveals to us a hypothesis that fae might have access to an essentially limitless reserve of magic because they pull that magic from nature itself. I'd say that this definitively places Malleus at the top of the "magical power" hierarchy--there was never any doubt about that, the problem just comes in trying to sort everyone else under him.

And then there's Idia, whom we don't really see performing magic much by himself. No, he prefers to tinker with his computer parts which, technically, can count as magic since technomancy is the combination of technology and magic. (Does Ortho count as something resulting from Idia's "magic power"??) It's hard to say.

If I had to guess, I would think Idia is another stable user like Vil but is also highly volatile like Riddle (due to his guilt and grief being the main source of trauma). Idia HAS to cast spells or input magic into his devices because of his curse; if he does not accumulate blot, there's nothing for his curse to dine on... so it'll dine on his own magic instead, which can be detrimental to his health and wellbeing. (This is why the Shrouds are perfect candidates to work at STYX and research blot. All the blot present in STYX HQ fuels them and feeds their curses.) This implies Idia has to have output, and consistent output at that. More blot present in the immediate area may be able to power him up more and allow him to cast more spells/cast spells more frequently, but that's again highly dependent on his environment. Idia has the "flexibility" that the other dorm leaders lack, which can be a curse or a blessing given the scenario. Make of that what you will!

[mydearestbeloved]

Chapter 6 [Draft]

Sung Jinwoo/Trial Player!Reader

CW:

Inspired by @circeyoru ‘s “Future Power Couple”

[Masterlist🦋✨️]

Sung Jinwoo didn't know what to expect from you. You were fascinating, more so than he would ever admit out loud. All the clues the system had fed him about your existence were vague at best, referring to you as only the "Trial Player." And while he couldn't yet piece together what that truly meant, he wasn’t going to let his guard down around you.

If you were planning something, he would figure it out eventually. For now, he would keep you close, both as an asset and as a potential threat.

He stole a glance at you now as you knelt by the remains of a fallen beast, checking to make sure its soul was vanishing, as it should. There was nothing particularly alarming about you outwardly. You were quiet, practical. But he noticed the way you watched the world—distant.

Despite his wariness, Jinwoo couldn't deny that you were useful. In raids, your healing abilities were top-notch, quick to mend injuries, faster than his own healing factor. Not to mention that you could directly heal his shadows, Jinwoo took note that the amount of mana he needed to regenerate them decreased when you were around.

Jinwoo had initially assumed that you were strictly a healer type. That’s what the Hunter’s Association records said, and your mana signature had a distinct, calming presence to it that he had only ever felt from skilled support-class hunters. Yet your mana felt… dense, almost limitless. If his own mana was a roiling river, yours was an ocean, calm on the surface but powerful beneath, which wasn’t too surprising, considering you'd been a part of the system before him. But a mere healer shouldn't have that much mana reserve.

Are you actually a mage class too?

 His suspicions were confirmed when he saw your summons.

---

The first time he’d seen them, Jinwoo had barely registered what he was seeing. An ethereal swarm fluttering around you like an aura. They were mesmerizing, each one a different color and size, their wings glittering with a soft, otherworldly light, brushing against your cheeks as you gently whisper to them.

Your mana poured out of you and into each butterfly, connecting you to them as though they were extensions of yourself.

Jinwoo couldn’t help but wonder: Were these creatures merely magical constructs? If they were—

“Why butterflies?” he had once asked, when you were both taking a rare break between raids. The delicate creatures flitted around you, glimmering faintly.

You glanced up at him, blinking. “Why shadows?

Another point taken.

He shrugged, accepting your answer—or lack thereof. Jinwoo didn’t miss the way your butterflies tended to hover near his shadows, seemingly fascinated by them. His shadows didn’t react aggressively, which surprised him. Normally, any foreign magic would cause a disturbance, but your butterflies were… different. It was odd, watching those bright, delicate wings fluttering around his pitch-black soldiers, but it was almost... cute, in a way. A contrast between darkness and light.

It wasn’t long before Jinwoo realized there was more to your butterflies than their strange, almost playful nature.

During one of their dungeons together, Jinwoo had summoned Igris to deal with a particularly tough group of orcs. He watched, mildly perplexed, as one of your butterflies—brilliant red with iridescent wings—flitted toward Igris. At first, the shadow knight seemed to briefly stop, his glowing, empty eyes flickered to the butterfly perched on his shoulder.

The crimson light from its wings seemed to seep into Igris, and Jinwoo blinked in surprise when his loyal knight straightened, his movements becoming quicker, more precise.

Jinwoo couldn't deny the difference. Whenever your butterflies were around, his shadows seemed to grow stronger, faster, even more resilient. The boost was subtle, but for someone like him who had honed his skills through the system, it was noticeable. You hadn’t mentioned this, and he planned to ask you about it later—after all, he was in no hurry to reveal how closely he was watching you.

As the raid came to an end, Jinwoo glanced over at you, watching as your butterflies settled back around you. You smiled softly, looking at them with an expression so gentle it almost made him forget about his suspicions. Almost.

He learned early on that you treated them with unusual care, a gentle vigilance like a mother would her children. There was a fondness in your tone, a rare warmth that softened the careful detachment you usually kept.

That same red butterfly always seemed to stick closest to you, fluttering protectively by your side. Yet, every now and then, Jinwoo would catch it drifting toward Igris, as if drawn to the shadow knight’s presence.

One day, it had landed on Igris’ sharp armored finger when there were no more enemies around. The shadow knight had looked at his master with a flicker of—well, if shadows could be confused, Igris certainly looked it at that moment. Jinwoo gave him a shrug, watching with mild amusement as the red butterfly seemed to glow brighter, almost as if content.

He wasn’t sure if Igris understood, the knight merely tilted his head but remained still, allowing the butterfly to rest on him until it eventually fluttered back to you.

---

Jinwoo often found himself watching you as much as he knew you watched him. But even as he remained wary, he couldn’t deny his respect for your skill. You were no burden to him. You wielded primarily healing abilities, you also seemed to know when to boost his power or his shadow’s, almost anticipating his needs before he even voiced them.

As far as your own magic went, Jinwoo had seen enough to confirm his suspicions. You had offensive capabilities as well, striking enemies with long-range magic that was precise and deadly. You were the most versatile support type hunter he had ever seen.

Still, he assumed your strength was primarily in long-range magic. He’d noted your blind spots in close combat—standard for a healer type, though he didn’t miss the subtle, fluid way you adjusted your stance or deflected attacks from mid-range with your scepter-like staff. This led him to conclude that, for all your talent, you still had weaknesses in close range.

That was, at least, until today.

It was a sprawling forest dungeon, lit by beams of eerie green light filtering down from an unnatural, leafy canopy above. They were knee-deep in werewolves, snarling beasts that prowled out of the shadowy depths of a ruin. Jinwoo's shadows were handling most of the enemies, and you were providing your usual support from the backline, healing and boosting his soldiers while occasionally sending out a volley of offensive spells.

Jinwoo had been keeping an eye on you from the corner of his vision. After all, mages, more so healers, were supposed to be squishy, vulnerable when isolated. However, something had drawn Jinwoo’s attention, leaving him at a distance from you for just a moment too long.

Everything was going smoothly until Jinwoo sensed a surge of bloodlust behind you.

When he turned, he saw it—a massive, hulking werewolf, eyes glowing a sickly yellow, leaping at you from behind with razor-sharp claws extended, ready to tear you apart.

Jinwoo’s pulse spiked, the realization hitting him a heartbeat too late. He reached out instinctively, calling for a shadow to intercept, but then—

Shing! Slash!

In one fluid movement, you had twisted on your heel, a silver blur in your hand. The werewolf's momentum came to a sudden, brutal stop as its body split cleanly in two, blood spraying across the ground. You stood over the corpse, a rapier gleaming in your hand. The silver blade pulsed with magic before you flicked the blood off and sheathed it in one graceful motion, the weapon seamlessly retracting back into what looked like your scepter.

Jinwoo stopped in his tracks, your gaze meeting his for the briefest of moments, offering a nod, before you turned back to the shadows.

By then, more werewolves emerged from the trees. The rest of the pack howled, charging at you, and Jinwoo saw the faintest shift in your expression—a steely determination, and something almost akin to exhilaration.

As the next wave of beasts closed in, Jinwoo watched as your fingers danced over the length of your scepter, infusing it with your mana. The staff elongated, shifting its shape until it became a spear, the blade at its tip crackling with your signature silver magic.

You twirled it with practiced ease, thrusting it into the nearest enemy with deadly precision.

The scene was a blur of movement, each swing of your weapon releasing bursts of silver energy that cut through the werewolves like a hot knife through butter. You fought with a grace and precision that was almost hypnotic, your movements fluid and controlled.

When one of the beasts tried to flank you, you sent a wave of silver butterflies at it. They swarmed the creature, their wings fading in and out, and Jinwoo saw the werewolf's eyes glazed over right before you struck it down.

“Are you just going to watch, or are you planning on helping?” you called over to him as you pulled out the bloody spear from the beast’s corpse, not even turning to face him.

Grey eyes shifted to blue, Jinwoo couldn’t help but let out a low chuckle.

As the two of you fell into rhythm, your combined strength decimated the remaining enemies. His shadows worked in sync with your butterflies, an unspoken alliance that seemed more natural than either of you expected. He didn’t fully trust you, but standing here together, he felt a rare sense of ease, an almost enjoyable synergy he hadn’t experienced with anyone before.

Once the last beast fell, you took a breath, looking entirely unruffled as you dusted yourself off, letting your spear shift back into its scepter form with a wave of your hand.

Jinwoo watched as the butterflies gathered back around you, the red one taking its usual place by your ear.

“So, are you a healer? A mage? Or something else entirely?” he finally asked the question he probably already knew the answer to.

Your gaze flickered, “A little of both. The system assigned me as a hybrid after my job change quest.”

Ah, so you went through that too.

“Why’d you hide it?”

You arched an eyebrow. “Hide it? You never asked.”

Again, Jinwoo couldn’t deny that.

---

The moment Jinwoo proposed a sparring match, he could see a flicker of hesitation in your eyes, a split-second of doubt that you quickly masked when you uttered your first refusal. It would take weeks for Jinwoo to finally convince you to spar with him.

“Fight me.” Jinwoo had said, his gaze piercing through you with that unyielding resolve he was known for. It wasn’t a request; it was a challenge.

“I don’t see the point.” you replied, arms crossed over your chest. But he had insisted, and eventually, your resistance gave way to a reluctant agreement. It was inevitable. After all, you couldn't keep avoiding this confrontation forever.

Now, here you stood, the tension was palpable in the quiet clearing. The both of you had been going to forest-themed dungeons quite a lot. Jinwoo wondered if the system was indicating something by giving him the keys to these instant C-rank dungeons ever since he and you teamed up. Jinwoo studied you as you calmly positioned yourself a few steps away from him, your scepter in hand, ready for the match. You always seemed to reserve a part of yourself, moving just enough to protect him but never enough to display the full range of your abilities. It left him guessing—just like what he had done before for the rest of you.

If the mouth couldn’t speak, then let the body do the talking; and Jinwoo intended to get a clear answer.

The rules were simple: no summons or any other external help, just the two of you, weapons in hand, magic thrumming beneath your skin. A fair fight

As he set his stance, his grip on his daggers tightened, the familiar weight of the weapon grounding him.

“Ready?” Jinwoo called out; his tone steady but edged with a hint of challenge.

You nodded, adjusting your grip on the scepter as it began to shimmer faintly, energy pulsing through it. “Whenever you are.”

There was a heartbeat of silence, and then Jinwoo lunged, moving with the same fluid, precise agility he’d honed through countless battles. He closed the distance between you in a second, his dagger slicing down with surgical accuracy, aimed at your shoulder. But before he could even blink, you’d shifted to the side, your scepter flicking up in a smooth arc that deflected his strike.

The metallic clash rang through the air, and for a moment, your eyes met. There was a fire in his gaze—evoking a brand-new feeling of hunger. The force of your parry pushed him back a step, and he narrowed his eyes.

He feinted left, trying to throw you off balance, and for a moment, he thought he saw an opening. He moved to take it, his dagger flashing toward your side, but you sidestepped just as quickly, countering with a swing of your scepter that glowed as it extended into a spear. Jinwoo felt the air crackle as it barely missed him, grazing his shirt with enough force that he knew it would have been a devastating blow had it landed. He grinned, adrenaline surging. You were no exception, what with the subtle twitch at the edge of your lips.

“Not bad,” he admitted, shifting his stance.

You met his gaze evenly. Without another word, you lunged, and Jinwoo found himself on the defensive. Your movements were a whirlwind of adaptability, your scepter shifting seamlessly from spear to rapier as you closed in, then retracting back to its original form when you needed to parry his strikes. Jinwoo was fast, his dagger an extension of his arm as he blocked, dodged, and countered each of your attacks, but you moved with a surprising endurance, like you were used to fighting prolonged battles and conserving your energy with each fluid motion.

He pressed forward, feinting high and then dropping low to swipe at your legs. But you saw through it, stepping back just in time, and as he rose to meet you, your scepter extended again, transforming into a rapier that gleamed with concentrated energy. He barely had time to deflect it, the clash of metal reverberating in his grip as the force of the impact sent a shock up his arm.

“Yield?” you asked, your tone light.

“Not yet.”

He switched tactics, lunging in quick succession, trying to find a rhythm that would force you to defend and expose a weakness. He noticed that your form wasn’t as refined as a true close-combat specialist; there were small openings that a trained fighter would have exploited. But what you lacked in close-combat finesse, you made up for with versatility, adapting each move to match his. Every time he tried to predict your next move, you countered with something new, always one step ahead.

Jinwoo managed to get a hit in—his dagger grazing your arm—and he saw the slightest wince cross your face. But instead of faltering, you used the momentum to shift your scepter’s shape once more, retracting it briefly before extending it into a gun-like form, a barrel forming at the tip with an audible hum as energy gathered within.

He hadn’t seen this before.

You aimed, and Jinwoo’s instincts screamed at him to dodge. He barely evaded as a bullet of condensed mana shot past, searing the ground where he’d just stood. He shot you a glare, but you only shrugged, as if to say You asked, and I answered.

“You can do that too?” Jinwoo growled under his breath, wiping sweat from his brow, his chest rising and falling with each breath. “I thought you were more of a mage type.”

Look who’s talking.

You twirled the scepter-turned-gun in your hand before letting it shift back to its original staff form. “I am. But being adaptable is… useful.”

He scoffed, though there was no real frustration behind it. “Adaptable? You’re like fighting a damn chameleon.”

He lunged again, forcing you back, his strikes coming faster now as he tried to keep you from regaining control. But you parried each blow, countering with a series of swift jabs and thrusts that drove him to the defensive. The longer the fight continued, the more Jinwoo realized you were every bit his equal—or possibly even stronger. Each time he thought he’d found a gap in your defenses, you shifted your stance, countering his attacks with an unpredictable rhythm that left him scrambling to keep up.

The fight dragged on, each of you pushing the other to your limits. Jinwoo could feel fatigue beginning to wear at him, his breaths growing heavier, but you showed no signs of slowing. He wasn’t sure if it was raw endurance or sheer experience that kept you moving with the same fluidity you’d had at the start.

Finally, he saw what he thought was an opening. He lunged, putting every ounce of his remaining strength into the strike, but in the split second before his dagger could make contact, your scepter blocked it, catching his blade mid-strike. And in that moment, you pivoted, shifting your scepter back to a spear and hooking it behind his leg to throw him off balance. He staggered, and in the heartbeat it took him to recover, you had already retracted the spear and brought the tip of your scepter to his throat.

“Yield?” you asked again, your voice calm, breathing hard but steady.

“...I yield,” he muttered, lowering his weapon.

You stepped back, lowering your scepter as Jinwoo straightened, a grudging respect settling in his gaze. It was a hard pill to swallow—realizing that even with all his progress, he was still a step behind someone like you.

“Well,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I got my answer.”

“Did you?” you replied, there was no arrogance there, it was almost… reassuring.

He met your gaze, you nodded, offering a faint smile. “Work harder to catch up.”

I’ll wait for you.

As he watched you walk away, Jinwoo felt a mix of frustration and admiration twisting in his chest. For all his progress, all his strength, there were still mysteries he couldn’t crack, and you were one of them. But as maddening as it was, he couldn’t deny the excitement that thrummed beneath his skin at the thought of growing stronger, of one day standing on equal footing with you.

---

Your power was… formidable. Jinwoo was not the type to admit it easily, but you were undeniably stronger than him, at least for the time being. Every joint raid you participated in, every dungeon you cleared together, made that abundantly clear.

He could see it in the way you fought with lethal efficiency. You wielded your mana with a deftness he could only respect, if not quite trust. Your abilities, whether in healing or combat, suggested years—maybe decades—of experience. Yet, your gaze flicked to him every so often, as if gauging his reaction.

Despite that overwhelming power, you still played along with his orders, never challenging his authority. Here you were, guarding his back as if you had no greater ambition than to follow him. The thought of it unsettled him.

You were holding back.

If you were so powerful, why did you follow him? Why didn’t you resist more on this arrangement? Was it truly just because the system compelled you? And if that was the case, why didn’t you seem to resent it? Sure, you seem frustrated, but that was just about it.

“You’re… strong,” he admitted, watching you carefully. “Stronger than I am, for now. So why do you go along with all of this?”

Your eyes met his, surprise flickering in them before you looked away, staring off into the dimly lit cavern, adjusting your staff in your hands.

“I thought we’ve been over this. The system—”

“That’s just an excuse,” he pressed. “We both know how the system is. What I’m asking is why you follow my lead?”

For a moment, you didn’t respond. The silence stretched, heavy with unspoken words. Finally, you turned to him, your expression serious, your eyes searching his as if you were weighing something crucial.

“It’s… complicated,” you murmured that word again, as if it could sum up everything left unsaid.

“Let’s just say,” There was a quiet edge to your tone, “that I believe in what you’re doing.”

You said them softly, almost wistfully. “Or just call it curiosity, if you want.”

Jinwoo didn’t know what to make of that answer, and it frustrated him to no end.

He couldn’t shake the feeling that you knew more about him than you let on. That watchful gaze of yours wasn’t one of mere curiosity—it was the gaze of someone who was studying a well-worn book they had read countless times before. Jinwoo caught you doing it often enough to notice: the way you would follow his movements, anticipate his decisions, even predict his strategies as if you’d already seen it all play out before.

It was unnerving.

Jinwoo clenched his jaw, frustrated by the half-answers you always seemed to give. “You keep saying that. But you’ve been watching me just as much as I’ve been watching you,” He said that while never taking his eyes off you.

“But I get the feeling you know a lot more about me than I do about you.”

Your gaze flickered, and for a moment, he thought he saw a flash of guilt. But you quickly masked it, a faint smile tugged at your lips, though it didn’t reach your eyes. “I observe you because I… want to understand you better. Maybe it’s because, in some ways, you’re the first person I—”

You suddenly clammed up and then turned away. Jinwoo could tell that he wasn’t going to get any more out of you on this topic.

“Alright,” he said finally, voice dropping to a neutral tone. “But if you’re keeping secrets, just know—one day, I’ll find them out.”

You chuckled, the sound both warm and distant. “You wouldn’t be the Sung Jinwoo I know if you didn’t.”

---

Whatever your motives were, Jinwoo was now sure they weren’t as simple as he initially thought.

Why had you been helping him for all those years before he even knew you existed? What did you gain from it?

Maybe you really are just that kind.

It was a conclusion that didn’t sit well with him. Jinwoo had grown used to people having ulterior motives, but you seemed different. Your actions were selfless, almost to a fault. You cared, yet there was still more to your story.

There were days when he almost believed he’d solved the puzzle of who you were, pieced together from your silent gestures and guarded glances. And yet, the closer he got, the more he felt he was overlooking something vital, something you were desperate to tell him but couldn’t.

It gnawed at him in the quiet moments after a fight, and even more so as he lay awake at night, thinking back to those rare glimpses of a different you. For every truth you hinted at, there seemed to be a secret you swallowed, and the weight of it left him wondering if you were carrying a lot more than you should have.

As for your quiet knowledge, he’d caught on that it went beyond mere strategy or observation. You seemed to know his habits, his tendencies, even some things he himself hadn’t fully realized. He watched as you predicted his actions in battle, shifting to support him before he even had a chance to react, as if you knew what he’d do next.

But more than that, he could sense that you carried a strange sort of empathy for him—a sadness that didn’t quite make sense coming from a stranger. The feeling unsettled him, and yet he couldn’t bring himself to ignore it. You weren’t just another faceless hunter to him now.

It wasn’t enough, not nearly. Trust wasn’t something he could afford easily, not in this world, not after everything he’d been through. So, until he could figure you out, Jinwoo would keep you close.

Because, if there was one thing he had learned from years of surviving dungeons, it was that the most dangerous thing wasn’t always the monsters lurking in the shadows.

Sometimes, it was the ones standing right next to you.

And that, maddening as it was, was enough to keep him close for now.

End Note:

Unedited Draft of [015/10/2024] -

First dive into Jinwoo's p.o.v. And also my first attempt at writing full fight scene, hopefully it make sense. Let me know your thoughts! Is Jinwoo too OOC? Is the fight scene lacking too much? Constructive criticisms are appreciated! <3

[sunseed-fandump]

I just wanna say I ADORE your au’s Dark Enchantress and if your willing to spill any facts or tidbits about her I’d appreciate it :D

Some Dark Enchantress Cookie Headcanons let's go!

She is a manifestation of White Lily Cookie's hurt, confusion, fear, and hatred. Basically, a personification of the dark pieces of her heart. She won't admit this, of course, crediting her own creation to no one but herself.

She also retained White Lily's intelligence, curiosity, and relentless (and somewhat selfish) pursuit of her desires. The main difference between them being that she is not afraid to step on others if it means she gets what she wants. Her sense of shame and guilt are all practically gone.

She sees White Lily Cookie as an embarrassing part of her past. She believes the Hero of Freedom is the weaker parts of her soul that she "purged" in order to become stronger and more perfect.

The only reason she is so strong without Soul Jam is because she was created using the Ultimate Dough, Witches had a hand in her baking, and she was baked on the Night of the Witches. Were it not for these factors, she would not be nearly as strong as she currently is.

If she sees a Cookie who will be useful to her cause, she WILL recruit them, even if they seem rather lacking. There's power in numbers, and the more Cookies she has sworn to her cause, the easier it will be to get more on board. After all, it only takes one follower for a lone maniac to become a leader.

Despite her being, like, super evil, she's actually a very good leader. She's confident, wise, and she understands that a good leader takes care of her followers.

She taught Red Velvet how to read and write.

All of her minions get an allowance every week. Well, she calls it a paycheck to make it sound more professional, but everyone knows what it actually is.

She has a physical copy of B.A.D 4's single stashed away somewhere.

To incentivize everyone doing their best, she started having a Minion of the Month award. Pomegranate and Red Velvet are tied for 1st place when it comes to number of awards they've gotten. There is now a betting pool for who will win the next month.

She prefers her food to be burnt to hell. Straight up charcoal.

If she sees a lily, she will go out of her way to burn it.

She has an AWFUL (read as: nonexistent) sleep schedule.

[aspiringsophrosyne]

It’s interesting how both the Smitten and the Skeptic kill you.

If you kill the Princess, they both visit the same fate upon you, overriding your input. However, their respective motivations are very different.

The Smitten does it out of distraught, furious bereavement; he kills us as much out of rage and revenge as he does grief. The Skeptic, meanwhile, kills us when the Narrator traps us (the way he does in the good ending). However, the Skeptic is not like the Hero; he does not let us decide when he recognizes the circumstances we have found ourselves in.

Both represent so overwhelming a force that they can make choices without your input, but from completely opposite angles. The Smitten out of passion, anger, and in-the-moment emotion. The Skeptic out of cold, practical logic that's focused on the long game. They are superficially different, but they end up pulling the same stunt; down at their cores, they're not as different as they might seem.

As for the pairs, one of the most generous ways to read the Smitten/Damsel relationship is that it represents the honeymoon phase. Smitten and Damsel have just met, think the world of each other, will do anything for each other, want to make each other happy, and dismiss each other's flaws when the Hero or the Narrator voices them. They are driven not by what they know but by their initial impressions and emotions.

This perspective leaves them both oblivious or apathetic to the Narrator’s machinations; they can ignore or overpower him. The shackle slips right off the Damsel's wrist. The locked door swings open. Even murdering the Damsel is not enough to dampen her love for you; all that does is turn it murderous again via the Burned Grey.

On the other hand, information drives the Skeptic and the Prisoner. They do not know each other. You took the blade when you went to meet her, and she killed you. These two can’t trust each other. Not completely. Because neither trusts without verifying first. And because, besides all that, there’s another factor in play: the Narrator.

Both the Skeptic and the Prisoner are aware of the Narrator. Both know that no matter what they want or do, something outside of them has the power to interfere. And their weapon of choice against him is information. The Prisoner plays dumb unless you “-give away the game,” and even then, she doesn’t reveal her plan. Not even to you. Instead, she hopes you take the hint and figure out what she wants you to do. Likewise, when you try to give her the knife to enact the plan, the Narrator tries to stop you as he did before, and the Skeptic thwarts him by pointing out how well that went the last time.

In contrast to the Damsel/Smitten pair, these two have one of the least emotionally charged dynamics of any Shifty/Quiet duo but have mutual respect and an understated sense of partnership that few other pairs start out with. Though the Drowned Grey’s motivation is not the explicit love of her counterpart, she’s still dressed like a widow to parallel the Burned Grey’s wedding dress.

And speaking of the Greys, they bring home the contrasting yet parallel dynamics between these Princesses and their Voices: one is fire, one is water. One has a passionate affect, the other a flat affect. One leaves behind only bones, the other a fleshy corpse. One is a bride, the other is a widow. Killing the Princess you defied the Narrator to save results in a Grey, a ghost dressed for marriage (future or past), that leads you to the basement of a dilapidated cabin that serves as your gruesome tomb.

The Damsel/Prisoner/Greys have many superficial differences that highlight how similar they are once you look beyond them. If played straight, the Damsel/Prisoner is a route where you continue to defy the narrator. The Damsel wants to leave? Pull off her chain and escort her out. The Prisoner wants to escape her chains? Give her the knife and take her head with you. Both are routes where you've established the best report with the Princess you could; you've literally died to protect her. Following this, you can take advantage of that goodwill and use it against the Narrator.

And in the case of the Greys, while the details are different (rain/desert, widow/bride, bones/corpse, drowning/burning) in both cases you're led to your doom by a betrayed ghost of a Princess in a neglected cabin.

Various Voices and Princesses serve as foils and mirrors to each other (Rivalry and Submission, Terror and Longing, etc.), but none more closely than the Damsel/Prisoner Smitten/Skeptic. It makes them especially interesting and I'm excited to see what their future third chapters have in store.

[simp4fictionalmenandjesus]

yandere rin itoshi>>>

he will be soooo cold and not outwardly affectionate (at first) but on the inside he is absolutely OBSESSED.

like rin will seem literally so indifferent to you, but every-time you glance at him, he’ll be purposely not making eye contact because if he does he will be SOOOO RED, because even though it doesn’t show, your slightest acknowledgment cause rin to FREAK out. ‘omg omg omg she’s looking at me what do i do… she’s so pretty fuck i love her so much. if she keeps looking over here i don’t think i’ll be able to restrain myself🙏🙏🙏.’

you would think that when you start dating it gets better but bro… it gets worse💀💀💀. you’ll text him, not anything specific, just a normal text, something as simple as ‘hi, what are you up to?’ and he will leave you on read. it takes him around 8 hours to reply because he is overfilled with joy that you texted him. he is giggling and kicking his feet in the air type shit.

one day you texted him, asking if he wanted to get dinner, this was the first time that rin’s teammates have ever witnessed him smile. you texted him before his game against the U-20 japan team, wishing him luck and telling him you’d be cheering in the stands, and omfg. everyone in that locker room was like 🙀. rin was straight up smiling, and not one of those devious smiles his teammates were used to, this smile was a soft, ‘i’m so in love’ smile. you best believe that someone, (bachira), teased him PROFUSELY.

talking about the U-20 game, the first thing he did on court, before directing murderous thoughts towards his brother, was look for you in the stands. when he found you, he smiled softly, which you 100% could not see because well, you didn’t bring binoculars. after the match, he went to find you immediately, he didn’t even bother changing out of his jersey, so bro was sweaty as hell.

he hugged you incredibly tight, like bone crushingly tight. he lifted you up the ground and was kissing you profusely. this was actually the turning point in your relationship where rin started showing affection.

he introduced you to the blue lock team that day, just because he did not want to let you out of his sight for a second but he had to recuperate with ego and the team. so essentially. rin forced you to wait outside the locker rooms for him while he showered and since he was clinging to you straight after the match, his teammates finished before him and walked out of the locker room to see you, in rin’s jacket.

again, everyone went 🙀. you were bombarded with questions about your relationship, and by the time rin finished with his shower, you were already well acquainted with the blue lock boys.

rin was not happy about this at all. how dare they, his rivals, talk to you. he definitely dragged you away and kept you for himself, if his teammates and you exchanged numbers, he’d immediately block them and delete them off your phone.

he wouldn’t show his obsessive tendencies until you’ve been in a relationship with him for longer, the only reason he hadn’t kept you exclusively by his side so far was because he didn’t have the power to do so. he forces you to go to all of his games, press conferences, sometimes he’ll even drag you along to his practice whether you are busy or not, in fact, you probably won’t be busy because he’s made sure that you don’t have a job with long hours or a job at all. oh? what if you’re hanging out with friends? well, that won’t do… it’s time for some guilt tripping. “oh… but I need you there, are you friends more important than me?”

You’ll be spending every hour of the day with him, because after his games, press conferences and practices, he’ll bring you out for a meal, and then you’re going back home with him.

rin is the type of person who wants their loved one to rely solely on them. he’s really subtle with it too. he’ll slowly incorporate himself into every factor of your life, he wants your life to revolve around him, just as much as his revolves around you.

If you ever do realise how possessive and frankly, psycho he is, and try to leave him... well, i did say this man is a simp, rin will be begging on his knees, tears falling out of his eyes, hugging you tightly and not letting you go. honestly, you’ll be shocked because this is the first time you’ve seen him be sooooo emotional.

and if you try to get help from law enforcement? well, i hate to break it to you, but that’s never gonna work, because blue lock, and subsequently the government spent so much money to make these insane strikers and rin is one of, if not, the best strikers in the world. it’ll be covered up and you’ll be trapped.

as soon as you’re in captivity, his affection will dial up to 110%. now, he let’s his innermost thoughts out, because you’re finally all his. <3

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

The Writer's Guide to Mastering Dialogue

You've heard it a thousand times—show, don't tell. One of the most effective ways to do this in your writing is through dialogue. Dialogue helps bring your story and characters to life, propels the action forward, and engages readers. But crafting realistic, compelling dialogue is an art form that takes practice. Don't worry, Rin's got you covered. In this guide, you'll discover techniques for writing dialogue that sparkles. You'll learn how to make conversations sound natural, differentiate character voices, convey subtext and emotion, and use dialog for exposition. By the end, you'll be writing dialogue with confidence and watching your characters come to life on the page. So grab a cup of coffee or mocha (my favorite), settle in, and let's chat about the art of conversation.

Why Dialogue Matters in Your Novel

Dialogue is one of the most powerful tools in a writer's arsenal. It brings your story to life and creates realistic characters that readers can connect with. If you want to master the art of fiction writing, you need to know how to write compelling dialogue.

Dialogue reveals character and moves the story forward. Through dialogue, readers get a sense of your characters' personalities, backgrounds, and motivations. It's a chance to show, not tell, what your characters are like. Dialogue also propels the action and builds suspense, as characters chat about the events unfolding in the story.

There are a few keys to crafting believable and engaging dialog:

•Make it sound natural. Listen to real conversations for inspiration. Dialogue should flow and feel spontaneous, not stiff or forced. Use contractions, interruptions, and imperfect speech.

•Give each character a unique voice. The way people speak depends a lot on their background, education level, profession, and personality. Capture the subtleties of different speaking styles to bring your characters to life.

•Use dialogue tags and actions. Adding "he said/she said" and descriptions of characters' actions and expressions during conversations helps readers keep track of who's talking and provides context. Use a variety of tags like asked, exclaimed, and murmured.

•Move the conversation along. Keep dialog concise and avoid unnecessary filler words. Get to the point so readers stay interested in what's being said. Dialogue should always move the story forward.

•Show tension and conflict. Interesting conversations often involve disagreement, sarcasm, arguing, or questioning. Create tension through dialogue to keep readers engaged.

With the right techniques, you can make dialogue a pivotal part of your story. So listen, observe, and practice the art of great conversation - your readers will thank you!

Developing Distinctive Character Voices Through Dialogue

To develop distinctive voices for your characters, focus on how they speak. Dialogue is one of the best ways to bring your characters to life and propel your story forward.

Pay attention to your characters’ backgrounds, experiences, education levels, and attitudes. All of these factors influence how people talk in real life, so apply that to your characters. Maybe your wise-cracking character uses a lot of humor and sarcasm, while your shy character speaks hesitantly in short sentences.

Listen for speech patterns, accents, and catchphrases in real conversations and note them for inspiration. Capture the rhythm and flow of natural dialogue.

Give each character their own vocabulary based on their interests, jobs, and lifestyles. The tech geek’s dialogue will differ from the history professor’s.

Establish characters’ voices from their first lines of dialog. Look for a memorable way for them to express themselves. The impatient character may frequently use phrases like “spit it out already!” while the pessimist’s go-to is “what could possibly go wrong?”

Use dialog to reveal aspects of characters’ personalities and backgrounds without telling readers directly. Show, don’t tell. For example, a character who says “please” and “thank you” in every sentence likely has a polite and courteous nature.

Read dialogue aloud to make sure it sounds natural. Get friends or family members to read different characters’ lines. If anything sounds off, rework it.

With practice, crafting distinct voices for your characters through dialog will become second nature. Your characters' voices, conveyed through the words they say and the way they say them, will make your story come alive for readers. So take the time to get to know your characters by how they speak. Their voices are worth developing.

Using Dialogue to Reveal Character

Reveal Character Through Dialogue

Dialog is one of the best ways to reveal details about your characters and show their personalities. Carefully crafted conversations can expose a character's background, values, education level, and more without telling the reader outright.

As your characters talk, think about what kinds of words and phrases they would use based on who they are. An older British gentleman will speak very differently than a teenage skateboarder from California. Listen to people with similar backgrounds and life experiences to your characters for inspiration.

Also consider:

The rhythm and cadence of their speech. Do they speak quickly or slowly? Formally or casually?

Their vocabulary. Does your character use complex words and jargon or simpler language?

Grammar and pronunciation. Does your character follow the rules or have their own way of speaking?

For example, here's a short exchange that shows the contrast between two characters:

Jenny (teenage skateboarder): "Hey, you gonna drop in on the half pipe today or just pose by the ramp again?"

Mr. Edwards (older British gentleman): "I'm afraid vert skating is a young man's game, my dear. I'm quite content to watch you whippersnappers from the sidelines."

Even from this brief conversation, you get a sense of each character's age, background, and attitude without the author explicitly telling you. Mastering the art of subtext in dialog will make your stories come alive and allow readers to discover the depth in your characters for themselves.

Driving the Plot Forward With Meaningful Dialogue

To keep your readers engaged, your dialog needs to propel the story forward. Meaningful exchanges between characters should reveal information, create conflict, and raise the stakes.

Share Relevant Details

Use dialogue as an opportunity to share important details about the characters, their relationships, backstories, and the world they inhabit. For example:

“Did you hear they’re raising tuition again next semester?” Jenny asked.

“Ugh, not again,” Mark groaned. “How are we supposed to afford another five percent?”

This exchange informs the reader that Jenny and Mark are college students struggling with the costs. Look for natural ways to slip in context through dialog without sounding forced.

Create Conflict

Interesting stories thrive on tension, disagreement, and clashing perspectives. Have your characters bicker, argue, and challenge each other. For example:

“You never listen to me!” Alice shouted. “You always have to be right.”

“I’m not trying to be right,” Brian retorted. “I’m trying to protect you, but you’re too stubborn to see that.”

The quarrel fuels the underlying conflict in their relationship and keeps readers wondering how they’ll resolve their differences.

Raise the Stakes

Use meaningful dialog at key moments to increase the urgency, suspense or importance of what’s happening in the story. For example:

“The test results came back—it’s not good news,” the doctor said grimly.

Not only does this distressing announcement raise the stakes for the character’s health issue but it also creates a cliffhanger, leaving the reader wondering about the diagnosis and anxiously awaiting more details.

Meaningful dialog is essential for crafting an engaging story. Use it to inform readers, create conflict between characters, raise the stakes, and propel the plot toward a climax. With practice, writing authentic dialog will become second nature.

Creating Tension and Conflict Through Dialogue

To keep readers engaged, effective dialog should create tension and conflict between characters. As in real life, the conversations in your story should have stakes and push characters outside their comfort zone.

Show underlying tensions

Have characters disagree and argue to reveal underlying tensions. For example:

“You never listen to me. It’s always about what you want.”

“That’s not fair and you know it. I’ve sacrificed a lot for this family.”

This type of emotionally-charged exchange shows the couple has deeper issues to work through regarding resentment and lack of appreciation.

Create awkward situations

Put characters in awkward situations through dialog to ramp up the tension. For example:

“How’s the job search going?”

“Um, still looking. The market’s tough right now.”

“Really? I heard your company is hiring. I put in a good word for you with some people I know there.”

“Oh. Thanks, I guess.”

The second character is now in the difficult position of admitting the job search isn’t going well and they don’t actually have any leads. This cringeworthy moment translates the tension to readers.

Issue challenges and ultimatums

Have characters challenge each other by issuing warnings, demands or ultimatums, for example:

“If you walk out that door, we’re through. I mean it this time.”

“Don’t threaten me. You need me more than I need you.”

Throwing down the gauntlet in this way forces characters to back up their words with actions, which heightens the tension and conflict. Readers will keep reading to see who comes out on top!

Using dialog that highlights tension, creates awkwardness, and issues challenges is a great way to craft page-turning scenes that keep readers on the edge of their seats. Mastering the art of writing gripping dialogue is key to writing a story that resonates.

Avoiding Common Dialogue Mistakes

One of the biggest mistakes new writers make is crafting unrealistic or clichéd dialog. Your characters’ conversations should flow naturally and sound believable to readers. Avoid these common dialog doners:

Repeating Characters' Names

In real life, we rarely use someone's name in every sentence when talking to them. Only use a character's name when beginning a new exchange or for emphasis. Repeating names too often makes the dialog sound unnatural.

Overusing Exposition

Don't have characters explain things solely for the reader's benefit. Only include exposition that makes sense for the characters to actually say to each other. Find other creative ways to convey important backstory or worldbuilding details.

Forgetting Emotion

Dialog without emotional cues like facial expressions and body language can seem flat. Use emotive verbs and adverbs to show how the lines are delivered. For example, "she exclaimed" or "he muttered angrily." Also describe characters' physical reactions and behaviors to further bring the scene to life for readers.

Talking in Complete Sentences

Real conversations are often choppy, filled with interruptions, tangents, and imperfect grammar. Vary your sentence structure and length. Use fragments, run-ons, and breaks when appropriate. Not all dialog needs to be in perfectly punctuated full sentences.

Clichéd Phrases

Certain overused phrases like "it's quiet...too quiet" or "we've got company!" indicate lazy or clichéd writing. Come up with original ways for your characters to express themselves that fit with their unique personalities and situation. Avoid reusing trite or familiar sayings.

With practice, writing natural-sounding dialog will become second nature. Pay close attention to how real people speak, and aim to replicate the flow and cadence in your writing. Follow these tips, and your characters' conversations will truly come alive on the page!

Formatting Dialogue Correctly

When writing dialog, formatting it correctly is key to making it clear and compelling for readers. Here are some tips for formatting your dialogue effectively:

Use quotation marks

Place all dialogue between double quotation marks (“”). This indicates the character is speaking. For example:

“Hello,” she said. “How are you today?”

Start a new paragraph for each new speaker

Having each character's dialog on its own line makes it easy to follow who's talking. For example:

“Did you finish your homework?” Mom asked.

“I'm almost done,” I replied. “Just have some math problems left.”

Describe the speech

Use speech tags like "said", "asked", "replied" to indicate how the dialog was delivered. For example:

“I don't want to go to bed yet,” the little girl whined.

Punctuate properly

Place punctuation such as periods, commas, question marks, etc. within the quotation marks. For example:

“Where are you going?” she asked.

I said, “To the store. Do you need anything?”

Use beats

"Beats" are actions or descriptions that replace the "he/she said" tags. They make dialog more engaging and help set the scene. For example:

"I'm tired." John yawned and rubbed his eyes.

"Then go to sleep." Mary folded her arms, annoyance in her tone.

Avoid over-tagging

Don't tag every single line of dialog with "said" or the character's name. Let context and formatting do some of the work for you. For example:

"Did you talk to Mom today?"

"Yeah, she called this morning."

"What did she say?"

"That she'd be home in time for dinner."

Following these guidelines will make your dialogue clear, compelling, and help bring your story to life. Readers will appreciate dialog that flows naturally and is easy to follow.

Using Dialogue Tags Effectively

To write effective dialog, you need to master the use of dialog tags. Dialog tags are the parts of speech that indicate who is speaking, such as “he said” or “she asked”. When used properly, dialog tags can enhance your story without distracting the reader.

Choose tags that match the tone

Pick dialog tags that match the emotional tone of the dialog. For example, use “he whispered” for hushed speech or “she shouted” for loud, angry speech. Avoid reusing the same generic tags like “he said/she said” repeatedly, but don't get too creative either. Stick with simple verbs that imply the manner of speech.

Use action tags

Action tags describe a character's physical actions or expressions while speaking. For example, "“I’m not going,” he shook his head.” or ““What a day!” She ran her hands through her hair and sighed.” Action tags bring dialog to life and help the reader visualize the scene. They also give you an opportunity to reveal character details.

Drop the tag when implied

Once two characters establish a back-and-forth dialog, you can often drop the dialog tags altogether. As long as it's clear who is speaking, the tags become unnecessary. For example:

“Did you finish your homework?” Mom asked.

“Most of it,” I said.

“Most of it? What didn’t you finish?”

“Just some math problems. I’ll do them after dinner.”

“You’d better. I’m checking it tonight.”

After the first two lines, the reader understands that Mom and I are the speakers, so the remaining dialog does not need tags. Dropping implied tags creates a snappier feel and prevents repetitive, unnecessary tags.

Using a mix of well-placed dialog tags, action tags, and implied dialog, you can craft seamless conversations between characters that flow naturally, without distraction. Keep practicing and listening to real-world conversations for inspiration. With time, writing compelling dialog will become second nature.

FAQs About Writing Dialogue

When writing dialogue, questions inevitably come up. Here are some of the most frequently asked questions about crafting realistic and compelling dialogue.

Do I use quotation marks or italics?

In fiction writing, use quotation marks (“”) to denote direct speech. Only use italics for thoughts or emphasis. Quotation marks allow the reader to easily distinguish between dialog and narration.

How do I avoid “he said, she said”?

To prevent repetitive “he said/she said” tags, use action tags that describe the speaker's actions or expressions. For example:

“We should get out of here,” he whispered, glancing around nervously.

She slammed her fist on the table. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

You can also drop the dialog tag altogether if the speaker is clearly identified through context or action. The dialog itself and how you structure the conversation can imply the tone.

How do I make dialogue sound natural?

Pay attention to the cadence and rhythm of actual conversations. Dialog should:

Sound like natural speech, not formal writing. Contractions are okay!

Have an easy back-and-forth flow. Keep responses concise and avoid monologs.

Capture unique speech patterns based on a character's background and personality.

Include interruptions, changes in subject, and imperfect grammar. We don't speak perfectly in real life!

What are the rules for punctuating dialog?

Use a comma between the dialogue tag and the dialog: “Hello,” she said.

If the dialog tag comes before the dialog, end it with a comma: She said, “Hello.”

If the dialogue is interrupted by a dialog tag, use commas to separate it from the tag: “Hello,” she said, “how are you?”

Use a period to end a sentence of dialog: “Hello.”

Use a question mark for a question: “How are you?” she asked.

Use an exclamation point for excitement or emphasis: “Wow!” he exclaimed.

Start a new paragraph each time the speaker changes.

Following these tips will have you crafting dialog like a pro in no time. Let me know if you have any other questions!

Additional Tips For Writing Dialogue

Keep it concise

When writing dialog, less is more. Keep exchanges brief and avoid long speeches. Readers will get bored quickly if characters drone on and on. Focus on using just enough dialog to convey key information or advance the scene.

Use natural language

Write dialog like people really speak. Use casual language, contractions, slang, and imperfect grammar. Drop words like “um”, “like”, and “you know” into conversations to make them sound authentic. Read your dialog aloud to ensure it flows naturally. If it sounds stilted or awkward when spoken, it will come across that way to readers as well.

Share emotions

Dialog should reveal characters’ emotions and attitudes. Have characters express feelings like excitement, frustration, fear or affection through their word choice, tone, and body language. For example, a character who sighs, rolls their eyes or speaks in a sarcastic tone conveys a very different emotion than one who smiles, makes eye contact and speaks enthusiastically.

Keep it relevant

All dialog should serve a purpose, whether to reveal something about a character, advance the plot or set a mood. Avoid “empty” exchanges that fill space but add no value. If a conversation seems pointless or dull, cut or rewrite it.

Use action and description

Don't rely solely on dialog to carry a scene. Include action and descriptions to give readers a more complete picture. For example:

"Where were you?" Anna asked.

Mark sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "I got stuck at work. I'm really sorry."

The description of Mark's actions and appearance helps the reader understand his emotional state and see the full context of the conversation.

Leave room for interpretation

Don't have characters over-explain or outright state their feelings and motivations. Leave some details to the reader's imagination. For example, instead of:

"I'm angry that you lied to me," Amy said angrily.

Try:

Amy folded her arms and glared at him. "You lied to me."

The emotional context is clear without having to explicitly state Amy's anger. Subtlety and nuance in dialog make for a more engaging read.

Conclusion

So there you have it, the keys to mastering dialogue/dialog in your writing. I hope my extensive research was enough information for you all. Focus on listening to the voices around you, develop unique voices for your characters, keep your exchanges tight and impactful. Remember, dialog should always move the story forward, not just fill space on the page. With practice, writing compelling dialog can become second nature. Now go eavesdrop on conversations, study your favorite books and shows, and get to work crafting those conversations. Your characters and readers will thank you for it. Keep at it and before you know it, you'll be writing dialog with the best of them!

(Keep in mind I used both dialog and dialogue just in case there's a few who get annoyed with that.)

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