#Posting to tumblr has helped because I can be around other people who are into the things I like
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I donât get why people feel like the Duolingo owl is threatening, if I ever feel like he is I just get mad at him. I could fight an owl. I donât know if Iâd win, but I donât think Iâd lose (two things that can apparently coexist). I think Iâd survive at least and thatâs not really winning but also not losing.
You wanna be so threatening? Da bør du drepe meg!
#emma posts#I used google translate for help because they havenât taught me the phrase âkill meâ yet#taught me the word for beer øle but not the more important words like âkillâ#as far as I can tell everything else in that sentence checks out so I figured the translation was good enough#not sure if itâs in the right order or if you use better that way in Norwegian. but good enough for a tumblr flop post#Emmaâs adventures in using Duolingo#I should honestly use that as a tag for it#I post enough venting about that app#until I find out if Iâm dyslexic for sure and thereâs a way to help that with other languages. Iâm not going to pay for Babbel yet#Babbel has Icelandic lessons too I think and that is my final boss tbh#Iâve been going from easiest for English speakers to hardest as my plan#and it turns out that I forgot how much some of my issues affect learning new languages#last time I learned another language it was Spanish and Iâm not fluent but Iâve had classes and been around it for so long#that i kinda forgot what itâs like to start from scratch#I didnât start trying to learn Norwegian until I was 26#or was it my 27th birthday? I could check my streak#I was like âpsh. it will be harder with my disabilities. but I should be able to read. my top priority with this languageâ#and then I realized I had been somehow adapting to the other two languages since childhood and forgot how much I had to work around#I mean. I knew I was worse at language arts in school than I was in literature and writing. but still#I also already knew I was worse at making new sentences in other languages than I was figuring out ones that someone else made#but I thought that was just because I hadnât used Spanish much for several years now#every time I try to re-learn Spanish it just ends up with me being able to figure out what someone said to me but not how to answer#if i brushed up on it again i could probably have a conversation with someone who understood English but better spoke Spanish#someone with the same problem as me but reversed language wise#please donât take this as me saying I could currently have an entire conversation with someone speaking Spanish#Iâm better than someone who never learned it and didnât encounter itâs use a lot. but I really donât think I could have a real conversation#not at the moment at least#I have been meaning to brush up on Spanish again too. there are at least real classes in my area for it and not just an app#the last time there were Norwegian classes around here my dad was in college and old people still spoke it#no one around here speaks it anymore
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Things to make me lie down and contemplate everything. 400 ppl liking my writing enough that they want a notification when thereâs something new
#one person in the comments of last sunrise also said I was their favorite renkaza writer#I. I. LIKE MAN I DUNNO#I am literally always under the assumption that people like. tolerate my creator endeavors#like maybe theyâre not bad but theyâre not GOOD and theyâre kind of mildly annoying to everyone around me#(we can thank my family for mercilessly mocking every interest I ever had as a kid for that one)#I have had ONE person irl who has always responded v positively and passionately when I talk about my projects#(hiiiiii Lee ily for this)#and itâs like. oh. oh wow. this kinda stuff is always like whiplash to me because of it#it shocks me when ppl comment or oh my god when they ask me QUESTIONS about fics#like they WANT me to talk more about them#Iâm too anxiety ridden to really even talk about them on MY dumb tumblr account cuz I worry about being annoying#because me being excited about working on something = annoying in my brain#(and like itâs never anyone else I see literally ANY other person posting about their art or ideas or processes and Iâm like OMG AWESOME)#(itâs literally just me that this applies to đđđ)#so yeah. ppl ask about fics. people say theyâre excited about them. ppl even say they THOUGHT about them#and it baffles and confuses me and blows my mind#anyways. the point is. Ty ily I canât believe you all like anything I made#but Iâm trying to get better about getting over this mindset#and seeing physical proof in numbers that it really is ridiculous definitely helps#kaz rambles
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Racism is alive and well in America
This Juneteenth as we celebrate and reflect on the progress we've made and look to what we can do to improve equal rights for black folks I want to bring attention to an issue far too closet to my heart- environmental racism.
I had a friend who died, far too young. It's been many years so newer tumblr users won't know him. His name was james and he was a popular tumblr user when he was alive @kumagawa . I idolized him like an older brother, and still do. He lived in Flint, Michigan. He was around 27 when he died. He was a healthy man, other than the fact he lived with dirty water in Flint, Michigan.
I'll never fucking forgive the US government for killing my friend, my brother. Why did James die? Because Flint, Michigan is 56% Black. Because it would be expensive to fix the lead pipes that gave my friend lead poisoning and killed him.
As of April 24,2024 the city of Flint, Michigan still hasn't replaced all the lead pipes that are poisoning the people living there.
https://www.aclumich.org/en/press-releases/residents-still-waiting-city-flint-replace-all-lead-pipes-10-year-anniversary-water
If you can help, give money to Mari Copeny's go fund me.
Mari Copeny, better known as Little miss Flint, is now 16 years old and over the past few years has raised nearly a million dollars for her community.
She has a website to links for other ways to support the community
Please reblog this post if you can't give any money... It would mean the world to me if I could use my friend's memory to help promote environmental racism and the issues still facing his community today.
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Something something cringe culture is dead but not for me though
#As much as I think I'm over cringing at myself and will allow myself to be passionate about things#I still hold myself to these arbitrary standards of 'normalness' and for what?#I think it's wonderful to be a fan of something!#But not when I do it#Posting to tumblr has helped because I can be around other people who are into the things I like#But I still weirdly police myself#Like I'll freely post about and publicly brainrot over the imperial radch trilogy or the adventure zone#Because my brain has apparently deemed those hyperfixations as 'appropriate'#But I bet you've never seen me post about don't hug me I'm scared#Which had my brain in a chokehold at the end of 2022 into 2023#Or about helluva boss#Which is currently doing me in for some reason#Because my brain still sees those as 'cringier' than the other medias#Not when other people post about them!#But when I do#I don't know I'm just ranting at this point and I doubt anyone will actually read this#But it's a weird little phenomenon that I am genuinely trying to fight
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also the thing of trying to boil it down to like "he was a hero whos mental state was made of titanium" or "he was an unstable mentally ill weirdo who killed himself and pretended it was for a reason" seems. counterproductive at the very least
#something something bodily automomy also applies to self-harm/suicide#and also something something suicidal urges aren't A Mental Illness⢠on their own#we think abt like. active suicidal tendencies vs passive as active being The Real Thing⢠and passive being a diluted form of it#but honestly its the other way around#passive is 'i want to be somewhere where things are better' and active is just. running out of somewheres to go#people talk about Mental Illness Suicide⢠in this as if its just some like.#amorphous Blob that makes you want to kill yourself for no reason#like there's no motivation behind itâ its not 'i want to escape this bad situation' but literally just 'i want to be dead'#and its like. theres always a reason#and i just. dont think being suicidal automatically makes a person unstable and we shouldnt fall for conservative propaganda saying it does#cause from what ive seen thats been the part conservatives have latched onto because its The Only Thing They Can Focus On Without Looking#At Anything Else#idk it just feels a little weird to be on the mental illness website seeing people talk about how we shouldnt#pay attention to anything he said because he was a dangerous unstable man who needed help#bc its like. havent we been over this before?#idk this isnt very well expressed my thoughts have been all over the place abt this the last few days#tumblr has apparently decided i need to see 100000000 posts about it to the point i am kinda considering finally turning off the#based on your likes kwbfksbfkdnfk
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a brief recap of what has been going on with the sonic movieverse in the past several months:
paramount has come out in public support of israel
keanu reeves, a man who has publicly rubbed elbows with none other than benjamin netanyahu, reportedly gets cast as shadow for the upcoming third movie
james marsden, the guy who plays tom, got exposed as having written a letter of support for a convicted pedophile
there's fucking??? zionist propaganda in the knuckles series???
kind of connected to the last point but adam pally, the guy who plays wade, is evidently pro-israel too
this is a complete and utter joke.
EDIT AS OF 4/30/24: if people see this version of the post, i'd really appreciate it if you reblog it instead of the other versions, as it's the most updated one with all the information that i want included. thank you :]
you know, it's been a few days since i've made this post, and some of you (not most) are staying determined in defending/justifying/giving the benefit of the doubt to keanu for that photo with netanyahu, whether it's because "it was a decade ago," "him being civil to someone he ran into at a party one time doesn't mean anything," "he's probably just silent because his pr managers won't allow him to speak up," etc. i've made my thoughts on the matter quite clear by directly responding to these people, but at this point, i'm tired of both seeing them in my notes and repeating myself, so take this as my final word on the issue.
i can't help it if you don't think the photo with netanyahu is damning, and i'm done engaging with everyone going out of their way to tell me that. i obviously disagree, especially after finding out that 1. the host of the party, arnon milchan, is a former israeli spy who has a history of developing israel's nuclear program and promoting apartheid in south africa (information that had broken out a few months prior to the party and thus would've been fresh news around the time keanu chose to attend) and 2. keanu has been caught hanging around at least two other weirdos, but if you don't find any of that to be cause for reasonable concern, then there really is nothing else i can say afaik.
with all that said, i'm beginning to realize how strange it is that these people's first instinct when seeing this post is to start debating about keanu's political stances without ever acknowledging any of the other bullet points. you guys realize that this isn't just about him, right? i know tumblr reading comprehension is known for being piss-poor, but like⌠you realize that i was trying to make a point of how there are MULTIPLE terrible things that have broken out about the people and company involved in the sonic movies, right? and yet, a lot of the people leaping to speak on keanu's behalf in my notes are completely ignoring the parts where i bring up paramount, pally, etc. all in favor of zeroing in on the singular point about keanu and making bad faith assumptions about me for holding him accountable. really makes one wonder where your priorities lie if, in a post that talks about so many other things, me accusing an a-list celebrity with, according to google, a net worth of almost $400 million is where you draw the line and apparently the only thing worth your acknowledgment.
ultimately, what i'm trying to say is that the intention of this post was just to gather up everything that i had been hearing for the past several months and put it all together in one place. there were a bunch of people who didn't know about at least one of the bullet points before seeing this post, and i'm glad that i could help inform them, that was what i was hoping to do! but as for the keanu thing, i've said pretty much all i can say for now, and i don't want to derail the original post even more than i may have already. unless something new comes up, i'm done talking about him.
#sonic#sonic the hedgehog#sonic movie#.sbs3#yeah no i WILL be annoying about this#because what the fuck
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago
picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.
pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimĂľes, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimĂľes has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?
while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
CaritĂĄs Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
#solarpunk#sustainability#environmentalism#climate change#climate crisis#global warming#amazon rainforest#amazon river#geography#brazil#degrowth#punk#global boiling#ecopunk#anti capitalism#climate action#climate activism#the world does not die on my watch#i saw someone use that tag and uh i like it we should make it a thing#long post#:/ sorry i know no one likes lengthy bad news posts on their dashes but i've been thinking about this quite a bit#and i don't really know what to do to help bc i don't have money to donate and i am 10 thousand km away#i think i could be doing more to help but i am already trying my best#again dont feel obligated to share or read this but it would be nice and i would love you forever#have removed lbv from the post
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"Warning Signs Your Machines Are Trying to Kill You!" by TJ Klune
(Legally, Iâm required to tell you that when smart phones first became popular, I bought one and then asked for the address of the app store because I thought it was a physical location I had to go to in order to download apps and not something already on your phone. Also, I was recently told I speak like an old person so as a warning, there will not be any slang you youths typically hear, especially on Tumblr. Any slang Iâve learned in the last five years has been against my will. I still donât know what FOMO means, and I donât care.)
1. Oh no! You and your family are trying to enjoy a movie night, but Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) wants a sacrifice at the altar of their god, BeeZos. Should this happen, do not attempt to give Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) a cantaloupe with googly-eyes on it and say that it is your baby. Overlord Prime (With Free Shipping) knows the difference between fruit and children. Instead, ask the machine to order dog food, and it will forget about eating humans for a little while.
2. If you own a very fancy vehicle that can drive itself, always make sure to carry a brick. That way, when the car locks you inside and attempts to drive you off a cliff into a gas station, you can break the window using the brick. You will then have to jump out, but make sure you do so in time so you can watch the wicked-ass explosion when the car hits the gas station, and you can revel in your victory over your car.
3. This one will hurt. Iâm sorry, but itâs true. Chances are, youâre reading this on your phone right this second. To be safe, after youâve finished reading this post and have clicked on the affiliated links to purchase my books, you should throw your phone into a volcano and then move to South Dakota where there are no machines, only wind and cows. That way, when everyone else gets the 5GZombieVirus that people on Twitter (Iâm not calling it the other thing, shut up) seem to think is real, youâll be safe with your cows on a windy day.
4. Get rid of your air fryer. Donât ask me why, just do it. Red flags all around. Danger, danger.
5. Do you know of the Clapper? That thing first launched in the late 20th century (I wrote it that way to make me feel old) where the commercials showed cranky old people unable to reach their light switches, so they got a thing called a Clapper that turns your lights on and off when you clap? Guess what? Those will be the first things to try and kill you. If you love your gram-gram, save her from the Clapper. When she asks why you are destroying it with an ax, tell gram-gram itâs because you love her.
6. Do you live in a smart home? The kind where everything is connected to the internet, including your refrigerator? The refrigerator that holds your perishable foods? And oh, would you look at that: how many ice cubes have you kicked under it rather than picking them up when they fall to the floor? A dozen? A million? The refrigerator remembers. And it will spoil your food in seconds. What then? What are you going to eat? Canned food? Not if the refrigerator falls on top of you!
Unfortunately for you, this is where it must end. I hope this has given you enough information to help you survive the inevitable. If you do not heed my warnings, well. Who cares. Iâm not in charge of you. Do whatever you want. Just donât come complaining to me when gram-gram gets the clap.
#tor books#booklr#new books#in the lives of puppets#tj klune#tbr#sff#science fiction#team robot#unreality#long post
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TLDR; donât give tumblr money until they start making visible improvements towards accessibility
Iâve seen a few posts around about something people are calling crab day where youâre supposed to gift the crab button to your mutuals to support Tumblr financially. Please donât participate in this unless Tumblr starts making noticeable improvements towards accessibility between now and then. Itâs been 5 months of me trying to get the bare minimum of accessibility for photosensitive users or even just find out who I can talk to to get anywhere, and Tumblr is refusing to make any changes.
@photomatt has doubled down on the suggestion that you should just pay for ad-free or install an ad-blocker instead of listening to any of the suggestions photosensitive users have repeatedly made. Please do not give money to Tumblr until they show a commitment to accessibility because they will continue to ignore our requests if it doesnât impact them financially.
Some of the requests weâve made are:
1. Allow us to disable autoplay on browser as well as the app. This is an accessibility feature, not a data-saving feature, and should be treated as such.
2. Include ads in disabling of autoplay, along with other formats that currently get around the autoplay feature. Currently even if you have autoplay disabled you can still end up with flashing lights in your face every few posts from ads.
3. Improve the reporting process for strobing ads. The quick reporting process doesnât provide good options to ensure the person reviewing the report realizes that itâs being reported for flashing lights so you have to hope they agree itâs either malicious or offensive and donât just brush you off as abusing the report function. The more complicated reporting process involves getting a screenshot and the link that the ad brings you to, which requires lingering on the ad, which if youâre trying to report the ad for your safety, is dangerous. You can also still get the same ad 10 times a row after reporting it until itâs been reviewed. Which again, presents a danger to users.
4. Add a community label for flashing lights. Flashing lights are commonly untagged or mistagged, even sometimes maliciously. It would be extremely helpful to the photosensitive community to be able to add a warning to a post that doesnât have one.
Iâve talked a lot about the photosensitive community in this post because thatâs what I have personal experience with and what @photomatt has explicitly come out and just said to buy ad-free about, but there are definitely other accessibility issues that need to be addressed as well (like the alt text function needing improvements to make it accessible to users who need it and donât use screenreaders, or the fact that a lot of tumblr official stuff still doesnât seem to use the alt text feature themselves). Please feel free to add on accessibility issues Iâve missed in the reblogs.
#crab day#epilepsy#actually epileptic#disability#photosensitivity#accessibility#tumblr safety#disability pride month
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ATTENTION DEAD BOYS FANDOM:
We have some unfinished business and a case to solve: The Case of the Curious Cancellation! đđ
Here are the ways you can help (be sure to read until the end).
I'm not sure how many people here on Tumblr are also over on DBDA Twitter, but there have been MANY developments in the last 24 hours and it's important for all of us to be on the same page if we're going to have a chance in hell of saving our show.
First and foremost, we need to get Dead Boy Detectives in the Netflix Top 10 again. This means running it as much as possible. Read about that below:
(SOURCE x)
As the graphic says, the goal is to have it running on a loop constantly, as much as you physically can. Be sure to have some level of volume on or else it won't count. If you're on Twitter be sure to post your rewatch (photos of your tv, commentary, etc.) with the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives !!!
Also, there's no better time to do this: the Tweet below brings up a great point! đ
(SOURCE x)
Second, and easiest thing: KEEP TALKING ABOUT THE SHOW AND CREATING CONTENT ABOUT THE SHOW. Analysis, fics, fanart, shitposts, gif sets, memes, tik tok videos, so on - do not stop! Reblog other people's stuff and talk about it! Give fics kudos, comment, make fic rec lists and post that WIP or sketch! The most important thing to remember is to TAG YOUR POSTS AND CREATIONS. We need to trend!!! On Tumblr make sure you continue tagging your posts as you probably already are (look at my tags on this post if you need help, and remember not to use "DBD" on here because that is another fandom! We use DBDA here). On Twitter you want to use the hashtag #ReviveDeadBoyDetectives for the rewatch and #SaveDeadBoyDetectives is a popular one, too. You can also use #DeadBoyDetectives. Hell, I usually use all three if I can! Hashtag every post you make about Dead Boys, no matter how annoying or "cringe" you may feel. Flood the fucking tag and do not stop.
Third, everyone needs to sign and keep circulating the petition. We've surpassed 5,000 signatures in a day which is fantastic, but we need more. Get everyone you know to sign it; tell them it takes no more than 15 seconds. Be annoying until they do it just to shut you up.
Fourth, request "Dead Boy Detectives Season 2" through Netflix's support website. It's a small thing but if we all do this a couple times a day it will get their attention. They really do vet these suggestions, and an influx of requests for a canceled show will raise eyebrows.
Lastly, if you decide to write Netflix (via email or a letter - their office address has been floating around) please remember to stay concise and professional. Don't curse at them, don't call names. State that you are disappointed with the cancellation of the show, maybe add an anecdote about what it meant to you, and I would even recommend attaching some articles that emphasize people's displeasure with the platform abandoning shows on a whim and Netflix's flippant attitude toward queer shows in particular. Dead Boy Detective Agency on Twitter has retweeted every article on this topic so far, you can find their page here.
You can also use graphics such as the ones below to affirm that the cancellation was unjust.
(Source 1, Source 2)
I know this feels like a lot: know your limits and take care of yourself. Whether you do every single one of these things or just a few of these things, every llittle bit helps!
Even in the worst case scenario where nothing changes, this gesture will mean so much to everyone who made this show. We owe it to the writers, cast, crew, and each other to TRY. We can all agree that this show deserves at least another season and if Netflix isn't going to do it, they need to be open to selling it to someone who will. We cannot keep allowing them to axe these queer and diverse shows with little regard for their customers and their employees, but also because it sets a harmful standard in the industry that is destroying television.
Let's crack this case and bring our agency back! I truly believe in this community!! đ We can do this!!
If there are any spelling errors or issues with links let me know! I did this on mobile because I want to mobilize this information as quickly as possible! I'll be adding on to this with new developments and can answer any questions you all might have. Lets save our show!
#dead boy detectives#dbda#the dead boy detectives#revive dead boy detectives#renew dead boy detectives#save dead boy detectives#dead boy detectives netflix#dead boy detective agency#the dead boy detective agency#dbda netflix#charles rowland#edwin payne#crystal palace#niko sasaki#steve yockey#beth schwartz#jayden revri#george rexstrew#kassius nelson#yuyu kitamura
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ateez as royals who fall for you (hyung line)
read maknae line here
genre: royalty!ateez x fem!reader, fluff, angst, smut, crack, a brainrot and smutfest of royal tropes
length: 12.8k
c/w: very nsfw scenes - mdni, explicit language (dirty talk, swearing, insults), death, violence, blood & injuries, weapons, heavy & mature themes (sex work, murder, assassination, execution, mentions of misogyny)
a/n: this has simultaneously been the pride and joy of my life and the bane of my entire existence for the last 2.5 months 𼴠and tumblr is an inept incapable CLOWN who cannot handle the full 24k worth of bullet points so here is the hyung line first - maknae line coming soon (yumi @sorryimananti-romantic can vouch for my unsuccessful 3-hour attempt at formatting them into a single post)
hongjoong
pov: you're the king's royal courtesan
âfuck,â hongjoong lets out a deep growl from within his chest as his head dips down to rest against the crook of your neck. âyouâre just as tight as last timeâ
when your hips involuntarily buck from the pleasure, he nudges your thighs further apart and keeps your wrists pinned above your head
he canât help but let out another groan when he feels your walls clench around his cock as you adjust to his thickness
âi thought- god,â a moan escapes you after he thrusts his hips against you, âthought you never fucked the same woman twiceâ
âi donât,â he simply says
and itâs true
hongjoong is one of the youngest princes to have ruled during the kim dynasty, having risen to power after the previous king succumbed early to an unknown illness
he has the choice and selection of all the courtesans available within the palace and outside its walls
hongjoong also has a reputation of being highly sought after by everybody, not just amongst courtesans
itâs not only because he is devilishly handsome, knows how to properly fuck somebody dumb, and is the literal king
the main thing that makes him so desirable and unreachable?
he never sees the same courtesan more than once
âyet here you are,â you hook your legs around hongjoongâs waist to gain leverage and meet his thrusts with your own hips, âbetween my legs for the second timeâ
you smirk when he curses and throws his head back
his grip on your wrists tightens and his voice drops dangerously low
âthe first time doesnât count because i was meant to see lady chae. so really, this is the first time iâm requesting for your servicesâ
he silences you from retorting by pressing a bruising kiss against you, lips messily attaching to yours before trailing down the sharp angle of your jaw to bite your neck
you are a courtesan for people of nobility and royal status
part of the âhouse of flowersâ and commonly referred to as âflower courtesansâ, you and the other women are highly-sought after for the companionship you offer
you are well protected by the house of flowers though - the services of companionship that you provide is requested by your client, but is ultimately accepted or rejected by you
lady chae, another of the flower courtesans and one of your closest friends, is requested by the king for her services
it is quite clear what it is going to entail and you both spend several of the following nights giggling and whispering scandalously to one another
whether the rumours about his stamina will be true
whether lady chae will be the first to break his one-fuck rule
except when the day of the meeting comes around, she spikes a sudden fever
lady shin, the head of the house of flowers, takes all but one look at her before ordering her to bed rest despite both of your attempts to, albeit unconvincingly, persuade lady shin that chaeâs fever would only serve to help make the kingâs dick warmer
lady shin is not amused to say the least
with the last minute hitch, the king agrees for you to be sent out to him as a replacement instead
and you end up being the flower courtesan who he breaks his reputed rule for
(lady chae is initially jealous, understandably)
(but very quickly, she appears to be even more excited than you are as she combs through your undergarments for the âsluttiest setâ that she can find)
your attention is brought back as hongjoong flicks his tongue over your hardened nipples, continuing to drag his length in and out of you while your back arches off the bed
you tease in between short breaths, âare you really bringing up another womanâs name while you have your cock inside me?â
âyou brought it up first,â he reminds you, accentuating his answer with timed thrusts
you grind your hips against his, chasing more friction against your clit as you feel your high approaching
âwhy?â he snakes one of his hands down between your connected torsos to rub messy circles against your clit, smirking as he asks, âare you getting jealous already?â
for that, you clench down hard on his cock, immediately feeling the way it throbs inside of you as you bring him closer to his orgasm too
âas if. fuck offâ
your words are hardly audible from the whines that are leaving your mouth due to the added pressure of another finger against your clit from your retaliation
âiâm close,â hongjoong releases his grip on your wrists so that he can straighten his body, anchoring his hand on your hip instead so that he can fuck you and rub your clit with his other hand with renewed vigour
when you hear him groan, âcum for me,â the string snaps and your whole body quivers in his hold as your orgasm washes over you
hongjoongâs hips gradually stutter to a pause, an occasional thrust inside your clenching pussy as he milks out the rest of his cum inside of you
he finally eases himself out of you and hums in satisfaction as he watches his cum slowly leak out of you
hongjoong drops down beside you, toned chest covered in a sheen layer of sweat as it rises up and down with his pants
when your fuzzy mind has cleared a little from the blissful haze of your orgasm, he strokes his fingertips along the side of your thigh, along the curve of your ass, and over the dip of your waist just under your breasts as he says, âyou better not be jealous. first one to get jealous losesâ
âif anyoneâs going to get jealous first, itâs you,â you scoff back
he raises an eyebrow
oh yeah?
he shoves his leaking cum back inside of you and fingers you to another orgasm
now that shuts you up
for a man who barks, he sure has no bite, because you find yourself being notified by lady shin several days later of yet another request for your services under the kingâs name
and another request turns into another
and every single time, hongjoong makes sure that the only word leaving your lips for those many hours is his moaned name
but at the same time, the more you and hongjoong meet, the more he just savours in your simple companionship
he asks you to teach him how to embroider because youâve mentioned before itâs how you like to spend your free evenings
he rifles through your bag of materials that you bring
you smack his hand away at the carelessness with which heâs upturning everything
âwhatâs this?â he holds up a large, wooden hoop before trying to fit it through his head, âa necklace?â
âi wonder if people know they appointed an idiot to be king,â you say as you gently unscrew the hoops and demonstrate how to align a piece of fabric between the rings
he watches with interest as you screw the outer hoop tighter until the fabric is nice and taut and then repeat the process so you both have one to work with
you have to help hongjoong thread his needle too, because apparently the kingâs fingers are only good for scissoring you open
you weave your own needle through the fabric at a slow pace whilst telling him the different names and uses of the stitches youâre showing him
except, when you look up to see if heâs following?
his own hoop has been abandoned to one side and heâs leaning against his hand as he gazes cheekily at you
âwere you even paying attention?â
he sounds a little too confident when he answers not at all
in return, hongjoong shows you how to write hanja the next time you meet
he positions himself behind you with his hand over yours as he guides you through different characters stroke by stroke
he claims that there are specific ways of applying pressure to the brush so he has to be holding your hand at all times
you most definitely roll your eyes several times but you indulge him anyway
there are a lot of giggles and teasing pushes when you accidentally dip the end of your sleeve into the ink and you try to spread it onto his robes too
(the calligraphy may or may not become forgotten when hongjoong pins you down to stop your cheeky behaviour, because things naturally escalate whenever he has you under him)
you two do eventually manage to finish one decent-looking scroll of characters which he ends up gifting you so that you âdonât forgetâ about him when youâre not with him
when you walk back into the house of flowers, the hanging scroll perks lady shinâs interest as you walk past
âhongjoong taught me how to write my name todayâ
lady shin waggles her eyebrows at you suggestively because of how casually you refer to the king, for which you nudge her with a shoulder
she laughs then asks to have a look
you unravel the paper to show her but then she makes a funny noise
âthatâs not your name? these are the characters for- oh,â she cackles scandalously to herself, as if she has made a secret discovery
âwhat does it mean?â you hurry to clarify
you wouldnât put it past him to have taught you a crude phrase instead, like âbest titsâ or âbiggest assâ
lady shin lets out an amused exhale, handing the scroll back to you
âit says, my flowerâ
youâre looking at those exact characters from where you lay on your bed when a knock sounds on your door several days later
lady shin steps into your room with a warm smile as you greet her
âyou have an appointment with lord min tomorrow, but the king has just inquired about your service availability for tomorrow,â she informs you. âwould you like me to give him the usual answer?â
this isnât the first time a clash has occurred, particularly with the increasing frequency with which hongjoong requests to see you
you have always told lady shin to ask for hongjoongâs pardon and to offer him an alternative time or day, because in the end, you still need to maintain a professional and admirable reputation as a flower courtesan
and as you open your mouth to tell her âyesâ, your eye catches the scroll hanging on your wall
my flower
you hesitate
âactually,â you look away from the hanja, âiâll see hongjoong.â
lady shin gives you a motherly smile as she nods in understanding and closes the door behind her
the next day you see him, he excitedly points out the large tambour frame in his room that he bought just a few days prior, claiming you two can work on a big embroidery patch together now
you give him one look then demote him back to the small embroidery hoop because he still hasnât learnt his basic stitches yet
(thatâll teach him to not pay attention when youâre demonstrating, ha)
you relent and end up going through the different stitches with him again anyway
and you find that heâs actually not that bad with embroidery once heâs actually focused on the task at hand
itâs nice, basking in each other's presence while he threads his little square of fabric and you work with the large frame you have now essentially claimed as yours
not that hongjoong minds; he did buy it solely to make you happy
and then you offhandedly mention that someone had gifted you a handkerchief with your initials embroidered on one of the corners the other day
âi actually have it on me, in fact,â and you take it out from where itâs tucked into your waist so that you can show him
he juts out his chin as he peers down at the delicate letters, huffing, âitâs pretty, i guessâ
then as an afterthought he tacks on, âbet i could do a better jobâ
âare you jealous right now, kim hongjoong?â
said man is hellbent on avoiding your eyes as he picks up his needle and thread again
âno iâm not!â
âwhatever you say,â you smirk
after that day though, you donât receive another request from hongjoong to meet until two weeks later
which, in the grand scheme of things, really isnât much
but in comparison to the frequency at which you are used to seeing him, the frequency at which your body is used to having him, it is much too long
you are almost beginning to wonder whether you shouldnât have brought up the handkerchief gift
yet, he greets you with his usual teasing squeeze of your waist, dangerously close to your ass
you make a move to follow him through the doors to his chambers but he turns around to produce a silk cloth
he starts to blindfold you, whispering sultrily, âi have a surprise for youâ
you feel the hairs on the back of your neck raise at his tone
guiding you inside, hongjoong gently pushes you down so that you sink into the plush duvet of his bed
âdo you trust me?â he whispers
trying not to dwell on the urge to lick your dry lips, you answer, âof courseâ
you feel him tugging slowly on the string that holds the front of your corset together, loosening your dress with tenderness like you are a fragile gift
you shiver when your shoulders are suddenly exposed to the cold air
and then the sensation is followed by the warmth of hongjoongâs soft exhales along the expanse of your collarbones as he leans closer to fully disrobe your shoulders
you have to remind yourself to keep breathing
âyou can look now,â he tells you
you remove the silk cloth from around your eyes, unsure of what to expect
it takes a few blinks to readjust your vision to the room around you but then your eyes finally focus
and you gasp
there, hung on the wall with its striking viridian green, shimmering threads and intricate swirls on glorious display, is quite possibly the most stunning dress you have ever laid eyes upon
âtry it on,â he encourages
but as you step closer, you realise the lacing across the front of the corset and running down the sleeves of the top dress is in fact, not lacing
itâs patchy
itâs uneven
it has empty areas
but it is no doubt embroidery
âdid youâŚdid you make this?â you reach out a hand to lightly caress one of the embroidered flowers, not quite daring to believe that hongjoong would go to these lengths for you
âof course,â he wraps his arms around you from behind and presses a light kiss against your temple, âiâm not losing to a lousy handkerchiefâ
âis that why you disappeared for two weeks?â
you let out a laugh, sinking into his embrace, because the image of the great king holed up in his chambers for days on end, hunched over your dress with a needle, thread and frown on his face is just too endearing
he lets out a warning huff as he turns you around in his embrace to face him
upturning his hands, he shows you the tips of his fingers and grumbles, âi poked myself so many times for you and you laugh at me?â
you bring his hands closer to your face, pressing light kisses to his fingertips as you smile, âthank you, joong. i love it so much, i really doâ
he looks at you impossibly soft
under his tender gaze, something suddenly rushes to your very core
you hold one his hands steady in front of your lips then swirl your tongue out in an experimental lick over his fingers
itâs almost captivating how quickly his pupils dilate and zero in on your tongue
so you dare to bring his fingers into your mouth
you suck on them a little harder
a little deeper
and then you moan around his fingers, âi want youâ
he lets out a groan himself, feeling the front of his breeches tighten as his cock twitches
âi- fuck, i didnât give the dress to you in hopes that it would lead to this,â yet despite his words he is stepping you backwards so that he can pin you against the wall
âi know, but i want you,â you palm his growing bulge, your knees going weak at how hard he already is. âand i need you. now.â
he doesnât need further encouragement
he shoves the remainder of your clothes aside before inserting his fingers roughly between your folds
it doesnât take long for him to bring you to your first orgasm, curling his fingers relentlessly as you ride them
he spreads your cum over your pussy and you buck your hips with a whine when he circles over your clit briefly
then heâs turning you around and bending you over, one of your hands bracing against the wall, your other arm held behind your back by hongjoongâs firm grasp
âfuck, youâre so wet,â his whole body shivers with pleasure as his cock slips right into you
the obscene sounds of his hips slapping against your ass and your slick being pushed back into your hole over and over again fill the room
and to the clenching of your pussy from another orgasm, hongjoong also cums into you with a guttural groan of your name
he gently carries you to his bed and lays you on top of the covers
he leaves your side for a moment and you listen to him rummage through something while you try to regain control of your quaking legs
when he comes back, you feel him gently spreading your legs and then the ticklish sensation of a soft cloth along your inner thighs
a whine escapes your lips when he rubs over your sensitive clit and hongjoong grips your thigh a little tighter
âbe careful what pretty sounds youâre making if you canât handle another roundâ
it isnât until he finishes cleaning you up and lies down next to you to start wiping himself down that you look over and realise what it is that heâs been using this whole time
your mouth drops in disbelief
when hongjoong notices your expression, he smirks, âthe man who gave you this has no idea his handkerchief is being used to clean my cum off your thighsâ
âhongjoong!â you flush with a laugh. âyou are definitely jealous, arenât you?â
âyes, iâm fucking jealous,â he growls, âyouâre the only one i want. youâre the only woman iâve been requesting for since iâve seen you. and i want to be the only one who gets to have you, tooâ
you confess, âwell, you can have all of me. because iâve started refusing other people just for youâ
he looks at you for another moment before heâs suddenly straddling your hips
âchange of plans,â he says breathily, âi need you againâ
âvery good plan,â you grind up against him
and then you pause, mirth starting to bubble in your throat, âone last thing thoughâ
hongjoong looks down with amusement in his own eyes, wondering what could possibly be so funny
âthat handkerchief?â you start, struggling not to laugh when his eyes immediately narrow, âi never said it was from a man. it was a gift from lady chaeâ
seonghwa
pov: you're his royal guard
as soon as you notice the movement out of the corner of your eye, your body reacts straight away
you murmur seonghwaâs name with a tight voice and move to position yourself in front of him, unwilling to risk the princeâs safety
one of your hands grasps the hilt of your sword, ready to unsheathe it at the first sign of danger, as your calculative gaze darts between the two young men stumbling closer on the dirt path and the line of forest trees from which they appear
they are wearing simple tunics and breeches with their colour faded and seams loosening from wear
from what you can discern, they are simply commoners, but that does not rule out the possibility that they are bandits
seonghwa seems to think otherwise, though
unsurprising but still grating
the prince places his hand on your shoulder gently in a silent reassurance and request for you to step aside
albeit reluctantly, you force yourself to move to his left
it becomes clear to you as the two figures stop just shy of a few feet away that the term âmenâ was pushing it - their faces are young and they appear to be no older than seventeen or eighteen
the young strangers dip their head in greeting, one of them apologising as well as he pulls out a tattered map that he extends out for you two to see
âmy companion and i are traveling to the village norshaw but seem to have lost our way. would you be able to point us in the right direction?â the one with the map asks
âof course,â seonghwa offers with a kind smile
you watch as the three of them step closer together to look more closely at the map
on high alert, and just as you are predicting, you see the companion shuffle closer to seonghwa, hand inching towards the leather pouch that hangs from the princeâs belt
you catch the subtle motion of seonghwaâs eyes flickering down just an inch
because of how well you understand his body language, you know that it means he has already noticed the thieving intention
but because of how well you understand seonghwa, you know that he isnât going to do anything about it either
so you strike in his stead
your hand darts out to snatch the thieveâs wrist, twisting his forearm upwards so that he is forced to lean awkwardly towards one side to prevent his elbow from snapping
his partner drops the map, letting out a string of curses and hesitating for all but three seconds before he turns around to flee
scoffing, you threaten the one who is still in your hold, who then bolts with his tail between his legs after you release him
"did you really need to scare them off like that? it's not like i had any money in the pouch anyway," seonghwa chastises with a chuckle
"yes," you deadpan. "i did not spend the last two hours of our trip pausing every fifty meters to wait for you to pick up a rock because you thought it looked pretty, only for them to be stolen by a pair of petty thieves"
"it would have been funny to imagine their faces after realising what they stole," seonghwa grins
âmhm,â you hum, âand the next thing you know, youâll wake up to your palace ransacked, because word in town is that you can steal from the prince and get away with itâ
he levels you with a boyish scowl, âyouâre so dramatic. what are you, my mother?â
âno, but i am your royal bodyguardâ
âexactly. you are my bodyguard, not my brainguard. if i am to be swindled of my pretty rocks, then so be itâ
you roll your eyes out of exasperation, but everything is swiftly forgotten minutes later when you point out a heart-shaped rock and seonghwa rushes over to pick it up
it has been like this ever since the incident occurred - him, the sunshine; you, the sunshine protector
it has been almost four years since it happened
somebody had attempted arsenic poisoning of not only seonghwa, but also those working under him
you had noticed strange discolouring of the silverware in the kitchen and on the table serving his dinner, which prompted an investigation and subsequent discovery of the perpetrator
an act of betrayal and treachery by one of his closest relatives - his very own uncle
seonghwa was - still is - too merciful and tender-hearted to punish his uncle, even if the severity of his uncleâs crimes warranted execution
to have his trust broken so shatteringly hurt seonghwa more than if he were to actually have been poisoned
you still remember like it was yesterday; the sight of the prince slumped against the wall, weighed down by chains of turmoil and despair as whispers fly through the palace of the weak-hearted prince who is unable to deliver fair judgement
it is the sight of the prince looking so small and lost that drives your feet forward to stand before him
as the soft draught coming through the windows tugs gently on your tresses and the flickers of candlelight illuminate the glint of steel in your hand, you make a decision
âiâll be your sword,â you pledge
not just as his royal guard, but as his haven when he is forced to face corruption and wickedness
and when you see the way his shoulders immediately sag with relief at your declaration, the way he nods like a child who has been reassured that everything will be okay, you tell yourself that seonghwa will never have to dirty his hands as long as you are with him
you will be the dark to his light; the yin to his yang
quietly, you see to it that his uncle is executed for his crimes - your statement to the rest of the palace that prince seonghwa is not to be mocked
neither of you bring it up again, but seonghwa knows
he pulls you into a wholehearted hug, arms enveloping you securely as his chest shakes with shuddering breaths of thank you over and over again
you rub your hand up and down his sturdy back soothingly
it is an action that simultaneously reciprocates his embrace and his crossed line of professionalism
one that starts the shift in dynamic between you both, boundaries of sought comfort blurring with friendship and then something more
where seonghwa is too trusting and too soft-spoken, you become his skepticism and his voice
âyou should be more wary of others,â you always remind him
âand you should be more trusty of others,â heâll retort
yet, he will never make a decision that does not receive your input nor one that you do not agree with
where seonghwa is too gentle and too humble, you become his sword and his shield
you do not waver when you strike down foe, and friends turned foe alike
you speak up and establish firm boundaries when others take advantage of the respect he shows everybody regardless of their class or status
and yet, if you find yourself on the receiving end of someoneâs condescension or discriminatory treatment, be it due to your rank as a guard or identity as a woman, seonghwa will be advancing forward to defend you before you can do so yourself
where seonghwa is too innocent and too bushy-tailed, you become his eyes and his caution
your morning walks together always last for longer than they are scheduled for
he stops to watch every butterfly and bumblebee that flutters along the flowery path, and he waits for caterpillars to crawl onto a leaf that he holds by the stem so that he can move the critters off the pathway
you love to watch him and his glittering eyes, his cheeks rosy from happiness and from the air still crisp with morning dew
but you also make sure to watch his surroundings with greater vigilance because the quiet peace that the freshly awoken sun brings simultaneously increases the likelihood of a targeted attack against him
as much as you rib him for being a marshmallow personified, however, and as much as he banters back that you are more than welcome to resign at any time, neither of you want it any other way
seonghwa carries out a lot of gestures that he justifies to himself as being eternally grateful for you and the things you do for him
he likes to gift you flowers he has plucked from his garden or the bushes he walks past that remind him of you
(âthatâs actually just a very pretty-looking weed, but thank you, seonghwa,â you tell him on more than one occasion)
(itâs adorable, because the next time he finds a flower, he goes to the length of certifying that it is indeed a flower with the merchant who sells bouquets in the nearby town before presenting it to you, eyes gleaming with pride)
you stand still and let him tuck a flower behind your ear, sometimes braiding your hair gently so that he can weave and secure the stem into your hair, holding your breath as his features fill with the same enrapturement that he would admire a beautiful artwork with
after you voice this out one day, seonghwa supposes to himself that there is not much difference between an artwork and you
not that heâs attracted to you or anything - you justâŚhave an objectively attractive face
yes.
especially when your usually-piercing expression is softened by fatigue, guard no longer up as you sleep slumped over a desk while accompanying him during his late night of studies
he does not realise his feet have moved until he is right beside your resting form, as if the soft exhales escaping from your slightly parted lips are a sirenâs song
seonghwa tenderly brushes your stray locks away from your face and behind your neck
except he forgets to account for the fact that you are trained to sleep on the brink of consciousness
the squeal that leaves his mouth when your reflexes kick in and you almost slit his throat resounds at a frequency so high you almost believe it comes from your own mouth
you have a grand time watching his beet red face stutter out an excuse as to what exactly he was doing so close to you
needless to say, that is the last time seonghwa ever tries to do anything while you are sleeping
but as much as he bumbles around, he also reveals his perceptiveness when you least expect it
like now, as you accompany the prince to one of his meetings with numerous advisors and ministers
it is relatively dull and uneventful, mostly a cordial appearance to maintain amicable and loyal relationships with his subjects
conversation is limited to pleasantries and at one point, seonghwa even points out the calligraphy paintings hung at the back of the room
everyone nods with throaty laughs as if the paintings are indeed the most exquisite and tasteful artworks they have ever laid their eyes upon
when you and seonghwa arrive back at his chambers following the conclusion of the meeting, he walks over to his bed and shakes the sleeves of his robe over the expanse of his duvet
and out drops a neatly-wrapped sweet, followed by another, then another, until there are enough to amount to two handfuls
baffled, you look at seonghwa, because these are the very same treats that had been plated on the tables during the meeting
âyou smuggled candy out of the room?â you try to keep the amusement out of your voice
he peers into his sleeves to ensure there are no more stragglers, before turning to face you as he waves his hands over the small collection of goods on his bed
as if they are-
âfor you!â he exclaims almost proudly. âi saw you eyeing them during the meeting so i took some for youâ
okay
most definitely proudlyÂ
you feel something tickling you from within, as if he has reached through your chest to directly caress your heart with a delicate finger
âwhen did you evenâŚâ your voice trails off when it comes out a little fonder than you are expecting it to
âremember the paintings i pointed out?â seonghwa giggles, and you think that the hand in your chest is now cradling your heart completely. âi swiped the sweets when everyone was looking back at themâ
âthank you, hwa,â you settle on saying, because you do not trust yourself to say anything else
that is more than enough for him, though
which, of course it is - this is seonghwa, with his huge heart that fills easily with the smallest of things
he eagerly hands you one of the treats and you unwrap it to place into your mouth
youâve had these before, but this one that he has specially grabbed for you tastes remarkably sweeter
you wonder if his lips will taste the sameâŚ
but then you accidentally bite your tongue, hard enough to draw blood, and you realise just how wrong you are for letting those fleeting thoughts into your mind
because while you navigate the world in thick droplets of red and sharp glints of silver, seonghwa sees the world in soft hues of pastel and gleaming rays of yellow
how could the two palettes ever blend together harmoniously?
so instead, you grant yourself one last moment of selfishness and pull him into a hug, a gesture that toes the already shaky borders of professionalism yet can still be excused under the guise of friendship
you realise that he has always meant much more to you, but that is what this will stay as - a mere realisation
seonghwa wraps his arms around your form as he relaxes into the way your bodies naturally meld together
itâs strange how easily you slot into his life, his thoughts, his heart
he wonders whether itâs possible for feelings of appreciation to run so deeply and potently within somebody, like a drug that he cannot get enough of
and when you take a step away from him, leaving his chest feeling physically and emotionally empty, he wonders if he is perhapsâŚ
in love with you
following that incident, it is almost as if a switch flips - both of you take several steps away from the line that has been danced around
but neither of you notice the distance because you are both consumed by your own thoughts
until one of your usual morning walks around the castle walls of his palace
seonghwa is wondering whether the bushes you walk past remind you of the flowers he used to gift you and you are debating whether to reach out to brush a petal out of his half ponytailÂ
then, like deja vu, your eyes flicker towards the burst of movement as a figure covered in black comes darting forwards with their blade raised intended for murder
you immediately start to unsheathe your sword, feet poised and prepared to defend-
until you are harshly tugged back and the prince steps in front of you to parry the strike that the assassin tries to land
it takes your lifetime of training and experience to snap back into focus and thrust your sword into the enemyâs exposed side
when you are sure he is dead, you whirl around to descend upon seonghwa with a voice trembling from both anger and relief
âwhat in the world were you thinking?â you yell
âi-â
taking a step forward, you toss your sword to one side, âno, actually. you werenât thinking at allâ
âi was afraid that you would get hurt!â he takes his own step closer
âthat is my duty!â the volume of your voice raises even more. âi am willing to lay down my life to ensure your safety! i have been guarding you for years now and you have never acted this way. what has changed?â
for a moment, the only sound that punctuates the silence is your harsh breathing
seonghwa swallows
âmy feelingsâŚâ he whispers, a stark contrast to the peak of emotions you have been riding. âmy feelings for you have changedâ
your throat tightens at his words
it is your turn to whisper, a noise of confusion leaving your lips
he takes another step closer, bringing himself to stand right in front of you as he looks down earnestly into your eyes
âiâd rather be the protector, and you be the protectedâ
âbutâŚwhy?â your heart races with anticipation
âbecause iâm in love with youâÂ
right at the invisible border that has been separating you two for as long as you have been his guard, seonghwa now stands, hands wringing together as he awaits a response
âthen that makes the two of us,â you confess
you step forward to take your familiar spot on the other side of the line, except this time you do not stop
you stride over the boundary completely to stand by his side
raising yourself onto your tiptoes, you pull him down slightly by the front of his doublet so that you can press a chaste kiss to the corner of his lips
it stretches wider and curves upwards under the nurturing of your own smile
you canât help but give him another kiss on the other side of his mouth to match the one you just gave him
âfrom now on,â seonghwa starts, âiâll be your swordâ
you wouldnât really, and you will fight him to let you continue being his guard, but that doesnât stop one last teasing question from escaping you
âdoes this mean i get to retire?â
yunho
pov: you're part of a rebel group
the crown prince is not in his fucking library
for the past three weeks, the crown prince has always been in the royal library at night
until today
under normal circumstances, his royal guards and staff would be alerted to ensure that the deviance in routine is a conscious decision and not an issue of the crown prince missing
except doing that would make your job significantly harderâŚ
considering you have been ordered to assassinate him.
youâre part of the âred sunâ, a revolutionary movement aiming to overthrow the current monarch
following the debilitating state of the king after falling ill and the subsequent coronation of queen jeong into power, she has since then established numerous royal decrees to keep everyone under her reign on a tight leash
a leash made of barbed wire
people are quick to become resentful and thirsty for an end to the dictatorship and bloodline
although he has made limited public appearances, the crown prince has also developed a reputation rivaling the queenâs
within the second year of the jeong dynasty, red sun has already amassed a multitude of supporters
the focus is currently on growing in numbers, preparing for an imminent revolution and picking off corrupt royals and noblists, be it through incrimination or assassination
dealing with those in positions of higher power is a task only completed by an elite selection of red sun rebels who have distinguished skills and traits that set them apart from peasants and commoners
and you are amongst the elite team
which is why you find yourself staking out on the tiled roof of the imperial palace, clothed in black with a mask and hooded cowl covering your face that blends you in with the darkness of night, on the orders of a higher-up to assassinate the crown prince
except the target is missing; the information you were given is wrong
which never happens
you canât risk staying around for much longer, especially now that the crown prince has broken his routine
he could be anywhere and so could his royal guards
you shift your body to a crouch and place your hands on the cool tiles beneath you, ready to leave
only to spot a figure, crouched just like you are, on the opposite side of the roof
their face is a black hole of nothing within the shrouded confines of their hood, but you can feel their gaze piercing into you all the same
you run
you scramble to the edge of the roof and nimbly leap off the curved eaves to the neighbouring structure of the study room
when you glance backwards, you see the man - physique now obvious - is keeping up easily along the stepping stones of roofs
this game of cat and mouse isnât going to work for long
if you donât get caught by him first, youâre both going to get caught by the palace guards
so you make a split decision and alter your next trajectory lower
keeping your arms outstretched for the eaves, you grab on tightly when your fingers touch the edge of the roof and use your core to kick your legs up to stop your body from slamming into the wall from the momentum of your jump
you let go and drop to the ground like a feline, noiseless, and slink towards a line of trees
then you wait
heâs good, you note to yourself, when the only sound that alerts you to his presence is the quick scuffle of his feet as he softens his impact against the wall and the muted thud of his body landing on the ground
âstate your purpose,â he demands, voice low yet firm
you ignore him to ask, âwho are you?â
now up close, you can see that the man is wearing attire almost the same as you are, identity also hidden by the his bandana and hood-
wait
even the dark red stitching that subtly replaces the original seam on the right shoulder of his outer clothing is the same
the same as those on the elite team
âone of you,â he confirms your suspicions
except you donât recognise his voice nor his build
being one of the earliest members of the rebel organisation, you are familiar with all the members who carry out missions like yours
he is not one of them; not one you can trust yet
when you donât speak, he adds on, âwe need to go. the safehouse might be in dangerâ
we
he refers to the two of you so easily, as if you and him are an unspoken team
you cannot trust this man until you know for sure he is part of red sun, so you ask him
âwhen is red most beautiful?â
it is a vague question with a fixed answer
one that reflects the heart of the revolutionary itself
during the sunrise of a new beginningÂ
âduring the sunrise of a new beginning,â the man says resolutely
the tension releases from your shouldersÂ
âokay,â you opt to abandon your original mission. âletâs check on the safehouseâ
the man offers you a hand to hike yourself up onto one of the outer walls of the palace before he jumps up himself with ease
you both flip over the top and land in unison
the moon illuminates the ground beneath your feet as you both sprint into the surrounding forest
the safehouse is really just a small hut situated far enough from the palace to stay inconspicuous, yet not close enough to the outer borders of the kingdom to risk discovery by the frequent border patrols
you both slow down as you approach the clearing, steadying your breaths and treading with cautious steps
and then you hear it
the shattering clang of a desperate parry
all it takes is a quick glance at the man by your side before your eyes harden with purpose and your steps are dashing in unison towards the hut
youâre both hit with the smell of a metallic tang in the air, and itâs not from your drawn swords
bursting through the door, you quickly take in the scene before you
several red sun members are scattered around the hut and slumped in varying degrees of injury
itâs easy to spot the intruder; theyâre yanking their sword out of a bodyâs torso as they simultaneously turn to look at you
and itâs hard to miss the royal insignia of the jeong monarch on their chest plate
you have the element of surprise
but only for the next few seconds
you leap forward with the thud of footsteps of your partner following almost immediately, side-stepping once you close the distance to dodge a haphazard swing
thereâs a brief break in defense when the enemy tries to aim for another strike that leaves the gap in the side of their armour exposed
you feel the slight resistance of your sword entering flesh as you thrust it forward into them
except when you try to tug it back out, a hand grasps your own and the hilt of your sword, stopping you from stepping away
the enemy has realised they are not going to make it out of this alive
but if they are to die, then they are going to take one last person with them
you.
you see glint of metal as they use their other hand to swing their sword down onto you, only for it to be deflected at the last second by another sword
the man you have met for barely an hour is now at your side with his towering protectiveness
in one smooth kick, his long leg sends the other careening into the wall of the hut with a mighty slam
you feel yourself jerking forward from the enemyâs grasp still on your hand
but the man next to you quickly tucks you into his side before you are also sent sprawling
âcheck on the others,â he briefly says, and then he is striding towards the fallen intruder
you only spare him another quick glance and then you rush to the nearest figure on the ground
you go around checking for pulses, and for those who are still breathing, the extent of their injuries
there are several casualties but nowhere near as many if you and the man had not come to check on the safehouse
which suddenly makes you pause in your tracks
how did he know about the attack in the first place?
you stretch your legs from their squatted position next to one of the red sun members and turn around to confront him
exceptâŚthe man has disappeared
and so has the intruderâs body
days later, the question of whether you will chance upon the man again tonight flits through your mind when you find yourself perched in the very same spot on the tiled roof of the palace that gives you a clear view of the royal library
you have received another order to assassinate the crown prince as soon as you see the opportunity arise
this time, the note is accompanied by a cyanide capsule, a non-verbal message that this mission is to occur with your life on the line
you spot him
heâs preoccupied by the scroll in his hand as he makes his way through the shelves of parchments
you wait until heâs walked far enough into the library before you drop down from the roof, keeping your stance low to ensure you stay hidden as you silently move closer
you take out the jagged dagger from its sheath by your waist as you anticipate it will be too difficult to wield your long sword in the narrow aisles
and there the crown prince stands
he has his back to you, exposing him to your mercy
mercy that you have no intention of showing him
the cruel heir to the throne of an even crueler dictatorship deserves none
âitâs you again, isnât it?â
you freeze
the crown prince still has not turned around to address you, but you can feel the dark gaze of his eyes on you as if he were looking at you
âyou were here a few days agoâ
fuck
how he knows you have no idea
what you do know though is that you have about two seconds to make a move before you lose this chance to assassinate him completely, and quite possibly, lose your life as well
the pill you have hidden in the breast of your tunic feels heavy
âyou are part of red sun, are you not?â
this time the crown prince does turn around to face you, but it isnât the nonchalance with which he reveals your identity that makes your head reel
it is the warmth and softness in his gaze and the hint of a smile on his face that does
what the actual fuck
youâre convinced that the crown prince is not only heinous, but also batshit crazy
âi am,â you spit out at him, âwith orders to assassinate you, in factâ
his mouth thins into a tight line, âthe orders you have received are falseâ
âsounds exactly like something a crown prince would say to avoid being assassinated,â you scoff
but then his next words change everything
âred is most beautiful during the sunrise of a new beginningâ
before you have time to fathom the bomb that has just been dropped, your heads swivel simultaneously towards the entrance of the royal library when a voice calls out for the crown prince
âhide,â he hisses urgently
and then heâs stepping further away to conceal your presence as best as possible
you hear the shuffle of footsteps approaching before they stop, dangerously close to where youâre crouched behind a bookshelf
âapologies for interrupting your time, crown prince,â they say
from where you are you can see the crown princeâs expression clear as he lets out a small huff, âi have told you many times to just call me yunhoâ
âof course, crown prince yunhoâ
even though you canât see the other personâs expression, you can hear the amusement in their voice
they continue, âi have the information you have requested forâ
âthank you,â you see him - yunho - receive a small scroll. âthe queen does not know?â
âno, i made sure to be as discreet as possibleâ
yunho thanks the other once again and your eyes nearly fall out of their sockets when he bows his head in appreciation as he dismisses them
is this the same crown prince as the rumours?
and what is he doing behind his motherâs back?
you donât realise youâve been staring dumbly at him until heâs back in front of you with amusement on his face
he stands tall and proud, robes accentuating his stature and nobility
âwho exactly are you,â you dare to ask
your voice is small - you feel small, crouched at his feet like a stark physical representation of the power he holds over you
but then he takes yet another step closer and kneels down so that your eyes meet at the same level
âi am the leader of red sun. the creator of the whole revolutionâ
your ankles actually do give out at that and you have to seat yourself on the floor
because how is any of this possible?
you must have voiced your thoughts out loud, because before you know it, yunho is crossing his legs and making himself comfortable on the floor right in front of you
it makes you feel so strange
the crown princeâs willingness to make himself an equal before you - and even to his staff from earlier
yunho starts to explain
a change in monarch, particularly one of such dictatorship, requires massive momentum and synergy; something he cannot produce alone nor without the support of the people
thus, red sun came into existence for the exact same reason you and all the other supporters have joined
in hopes of a sunrise one day that marks a new beginning
a new leadership
except recently he has had growing suspicious of the presence of a traitor within the organisation, which were confirmed the night the safehouse was attacked
âthat nightâŚthat man was you,â you realise, âand thatâs how you know who i amâ
he nods, âand thatâs also how i know your orders are false.â yunho nudges you playfully with his knee, âpretty sure i never ordered for my own assassinationâ
yunho continues to explain that he had taken the intruder back for interrogation, but then you frown when he reveals the enemy had swallowed a suicide pill before any information could be gained
he has an inkling that someone in a high position of power is involved, since the pills are almost impossible to gain access to, but it cannot be ruled out as a coincidence
âhang on,â you pull down the top of your tunic in a hurry
yunho scrambles to cover his eyes and turns his head as he jokingly sputters out, âwoah okay, this is moving a little fast donât you think?â
you tug impatiently on the sleeve of his robe, telling him to look
yunho hesitates for another second before lowering his hands and realising you have-
âa suicide pill?âÂ
you look at each other, because this can only mean one thing
the pills are not a coincidence; the enemy is much closer than yunho would like
youâre both unsure how much time there is until the traitor decides to order someone else to assassinate yunho, or worse, decides to finish the job off themselves
but from that very night of discovery, you and yunho work together incessantly against a ticking time bomb
itâs a delicate balance between finding as many leads as you can and spreading out your investigations to stay under the radar
yunho tries to look further into the cyanide pills while you try to uncover any information regarding the order you had been given
whoever is behind it all has kept their tracks hidden well
there isnât much to report from either of your ends whenever you sneak into the palace to meet up with yunho
but he makes it very hard for you to feel discouraged when he makes your meetings seem like casual catch ups between - you dare say - friends
you have yet to catch him by surprise whenever you drop down from the roof in front of him in an attempt to scare him; he has an uncanny ability to sense your presence
except, you think you prefer being unsuccessful, because your indignant grumbles never fail to bring out his toothy grin and an excited body jiggle
other times he is the one trying to fluster you
âremember that time you literally tried undressing yourself in front of me-â
âi was taking the pill out to show you!âÂ
you bring your thumb and index finger closer together in front of your face and squint at the gap
âi am this close to changing my mind and assassinating you after allâ
he gets a kick out of it, pretending to beg for your mercy, âoh please spare me, your majestyâ
other times, yunho teases you for always keeping your cowl and mask on
âbet itâs because youâre ugly or something,â he jokes
and you bite back that he had his face covered too when you both met, so youâre one to talk, ugly
âbut since then iâve always shown you my face as the crown prince. you can see me nice and clear,â he suddenly leans forward, so close you can see the dip of his cupidâs brow. âwhat do you think about me now?â
you swallow hard
youâre glad you have your mask on because you can feel your face rapidly heating up
âi thinkâŚâ you gently cup his jaw, âyou look better with your mask on,â as you nudge his face to the side
you cannot help but join in with your own chuckles at his laughter and boyish glee
and eventually, you two have a breakthrough
yunho manages to trace the cyanide back to a traveling merchant operating under the guise of selling rare herbs and medicine
in the transaction ledger, there is an unusually large purchase under the name of âlee minjunâ
âiâm sure iâve seen the name before somewhere, but i canât remember where,â yunho huffs
you let out your own huff at his elbow that has very naturally taken a rest on your shoulder
pulling out a stack of paper, you spread it out onto the table before you two
they are past records of certain red sun missions that, upon looking back, seem suspicious
âi noticed a mark on a couple of them, a drawing or character perhaps? except none of them are fully intact. itâs almost like the paper was accidentally markedâ
you point them out to yunho in hopes that he will have a better idea
he doesnât - not at first
not until he chances upon two that vaguely align with each other to form a clearer image
âthis-â yunho runs his hand through his hair, âthis is butler leeâs stamp. my fatherâs butler.â
the kingâs butler?
lee?
your eyes snap to yunhoâs, just as his meet yours
âlee minjunâ
you sink back in your seat
thereâs now definite proof that the kingâs butler is at the very least involved
the question of why and what for remains
in fact, you and yunho would not put it past the queen either to be involved too
there is a long moment of shared silence as you both mull over what this means for the future
yunho breaks the silence first
âafter this all endsâŚdo you want to work for me, officially?â he clears his throat, âwill you stay by my side?â
after this all ends
you two must still uncover butler leeâs motives; likely part of a much grander scheme involving queen jeong too
you two must still bring down the whole monarch; with the support of red sun, yunho needs to sit on his rightful throne
the sun has yet to rise but you can see the faint hues of orange and twilight blue in the horizon
the new beginning is close
and at that, something in you relaxes
crumbles and disintegrates with utter relief
âit would be my honour to stay by your side forever, yunhoâ
and then you are removing your hood and mask, daring to breathe and feel alive and hopeful for once
ironically, yunho chokes on air
you glance at him to find that he is unable to meet your eyes
you think your eyes are deceiving you because-
the tips of his ears are a glowing red
you could definitely get used to seeing the usually calm and collected crown prince become a shy, blushing mess
the corner of your mouth rises with smugness, âlike what you see?â
âyou should really keep your hood and mask on,â he mumbles
âand why is that?â you humour him
he finally looks at you
and when he sees the shit-eating grin plastered across your face, his shoulders suddenly fill out again with confidence and cockiness to match yours
âbecause,â his voice deep and flirtatious, âwith a pretty face like that, youâre going to distract me from my dutiesâ
yeosang
pov: you're in an arranged marriage with him
ever since you could understand the words coming out of your parentsâ mouths, you have known that you will be married to yeosang
it just made sense
for the respective princess and prince of two powerful kingdoms to join together, leading to increased power and stronger allies
it is tradition for the pair to meet their chosen spouse for the first time only when both parties have turned sixteen, and even then, subsequent meetings are rare until the time of the actual wedding
so you spend the first sixteen years of your life infatuated with the idea of your prince charming - of prince yeosang - wondering what he looks like, what his personality is like, and how you two will fall in love
and when you finally reach that long-awaited first meeting, prince charming is everything and more than what you have envisioned
if angels with broken wings were exiled to earth, they would look like yeosang
he is soft-spoken and slightly reserved, as any awkward teenager meeting their future spouse would be, but you donât miss the way that his eyes overflow with adoration and his shoulders shake with exuberant giggles whenever his little sister, yeoreum, comes tottering into the room
he always bends down onto one knee to match her eye level, uncaring of the stains that mark his pants even as his mother narrows her eyes in disdain, and he listens with utmost sincerity when yeoreum tells him about the secret pink and glittery fairy she spotted in the courtyardÂ
they remind you of the relationship you share with your own little brother, juwon, who is barely half your age and height, yet has you wrapped around his little finger
you lean down closer with a hum at the soft tug on your dress to hear your little brother whisper conspiratorially into your ear, âhe looks stupidâ
if looks could kill, yeosang would be dead right now
you stifle a laugh as you flick juwonâs chin affectionately at his sudden display of childish jealousy
if anything, youâre pretty sure you are the one who looks stupid
stupidly in love
because walking away from that first meeting with yeosang and his family, you know that you are absolutely smitten for the prince
unable to quell the restlessness of having to wait until the next unforeseeable meeting, you pick up a quill that very same day you return to your palace and start writing
it takes you all night, the gentle gleams and winks of the stars keeping you company until they rotate shifts with the songs of the waking world
but by the time you have crossed out and scrunched your way through rolls and rolls of parchment paper, you are satisfied with the letter you have written
the letter addressed to prince yeosang, which you task eunju, one of your maids, with passing it to the royal couriers for delivery to the kang palace
it is a simple letter, thanking him for the enjoyable day, yet it holds the deeper message that you are interested in him and would like to become better acquainted before your marriage
you wonder whether his cheeks will flush a pretty red as his butler hands him your letter
whether he will trace his fingers delicately over the curve of your words
whether he will bite back a smile as he pictures you saying the words to him
two weeks pass, and you approximate the letter to have just been delivered to his kingdom
and although you desperately wish for him to immediately sit down with a quill in hand to pen out his reply, you wait and give him a week before you eagerly start counting down the days until the arrival of his letter
your whole life you have been able to wait patiently
you wonder what has changed now that mere weeks feel like an eternity
the day yeosangâs letter is due to arrive, you are sporadic bursts of giggles, twirls and skips throughout the palace
even juwon is starting to become sick of getting swept up into a crushing hug to the cheery tune of i loveee youuuu every single time you pass him
nothing can bring you down from cloud nine
onlyâŚthe letter never comes
not the day after, not the week after, not the month after
youâre disappointed, of course, but you busy yourself with reasons why yeosang has not replied, and you donât give up
you send him another letter, and then another, and another
sometimes you just tell him about your day - what made you smile, what made you sad, something interesting you saw, something your little brother said
other times you tell him about yourself - your hobbies, likes and dislikes, aspirations, fearsÂ
and you also wonder about him
you ask what he likes, what he smiles at, what makes him sad, what his dreams are
with each letter that you hand over to eunju to be delivered, it becomes harder and harder to stay optimistic - not even the words of encouragement from your favourite maid lifts your spirits
you continue like this for over a year, still yet to receive a replyÂ
until-
you do.
it feels like you are brought back to that very night of your first meeting, feeling so very alive as hope and excitement cascade into your body the moment eunju hands you a letter with a smile
with shaking hands, you fumble to unpeel the wax seal and free the envelopeâs contents - a single piece of paper, neatly folded
your mind races with anticipated words and explanations
perhaps he had been too shy to reciprocate your letters earlier
or perhaps your letters had been lost in transit
you unfold the parchment as the hairs on your skin raise in anticipation, only to find it blank save for one scrawled sentence in the middle of the paper-
stop sending me letters.
and just like that, the clock strikes twelve
your carriage reverts into a pumpkin
and your carefully curated story of prince charming disintegrates into ashes
you donât write to him again.
years later, the stacks of parchment scrolls on the wooden desk of the guest room you are currently residing in feel like a fresh slap in the face each time your eyes land on them
they are a stark reminder of your very own letters, the cold rejection you received, and the irony of the only letter you ever received again following his being one from the kang monarchs, announcing the proceeding of the royal wedding between you and their son
now, only a few days newly-wed to yeosang, the king and queen are gracious enough to let you sleep in one of the guest rooms temporarily, under your claims of adjusting to a life in a new kingdom and as a wife
really, you are trying to avoid yeosang for as long as you can
you spend your time instead getting to know his little sister better, which is why you find yourself sitting side by side with yeoreum, legs dangling off the edge of your bed
she eyes the vase of flowers on your bedside table curiously, âdid you buy that?â
âno,â you reach out to touch the babyâs breath, âsomeone delivered it to my roomâ
you had offhandedly mentioned to some of your staff the other day that flowers would make your room look more homey, and you had woken up the morning after to find the beautiful vase teeming with flowers next to you
âwhy?â you ask yeoreum when she hums thoughtfully
âit looks just like the vase in my brotherâs room, but heâs weird about it. yeo never lets anyone touch it, much less have itâ
you blanch a little, âin that case iâll give it back to him later thenâ
âyou donât like it? orâŚyou donât like my brother? my brother talks about you a lot, you know,â she reveals
caught off-guard by her perceptiveness, you reveal that you have been hurt before
you donât specify by what exactly or who it is that youâre talking about, but she seems to understand regardless
later that night, sweet yeoreum barges into yeosangâs room and with as much feistiness as she can muster, she glares at her brother and interrogates, âwhat did you do to make her upset?â
before he can so much as blink, yeoreum concludes, âyou boys are dumb. go talk to her and fix it or something,â and then walks out with a huff
thereâs no one there to witness it, but yeosang nods anyway
heart feeling a little heavy after your conversation with yeoreum, you head towards the kitchen to seek solace in the sweet pastry you are usually served each morning
the first time you tasted the danish pastry, decorated with strawberries and cream cheese, was when you had traveled to yeosangâs palace at the age of sixteen for your first meeting
you remember the blissful expression that had bloomed across your face with your initial bite, and no dessert ever captivated your tastebuds quite the same way ever again
if there is one good thing out of this arranged marriage with yeosang, then it would be the reunion between yourself and the strawberry danish
âyour highness,â the head chef bows, followed by the rest of the staff in the kitchen, âhow may we help you?â
when you ask for one of the pastries, the head chef apologises that there are none
âbut we can make you one now, if you do not mind waitingâ
you tell him not to go to the trouble and ease his worries, âi just thought there may have been leftover pastriesâ
âwe make only one fresh every morning, specifically for you,â the chef explains, and confusion must settle across your features because he adds on, âhis highness has expressed that you may like themâ
oh?
flustered, you can only muster a short response of, âi do, thank you,â before you smile once more and excuse yourself
because of all people to notice and remember such a small detail, and then to go out of their way to put in the request with the kitchen on the off chance that it was still true, it was yeosang?Â
first the vase, and now this
you feel something deeply buried inside of you start to stir but you rush to nip it in the bud
your head and your heart are beginning to wage war against each other and suddenly everything feels like itâs too much
when you reach your bedroom, you throw open the double doors to step out onto the balcony, welcoming the chilling breeze of the darkening sky
youâre tired of fearing rejection if you open up
youâre tired of questioning yeosangâs intentions
and on top of it all, you suddenly miss home and you miss your parents and you miss juwon and-
âare you okay?â
yeosangâs soft question startles you, having missed his knocking at your door
he walks closer to join you out on the balcony when he sees that the answer is obviously a no, and he prompts you again, âwhatâs wrong?â
thoughts of vases and strawberry pastries flit across your mind
you start with half truths
âjust missing my little brotherâ
âyou love him a lot, donât you,â yeosang smiles sweetly, âi can see it in the way you take care of yeoreumâ
you canât help the heat that slowly creeps up the back of your neck and to your ears, because it implies that heâs noticed all the times youâve showered his little sister with the same love you give to juwon
it implies heâs noticed you
âwhatâs your fondest memory of juwon?â he asks when you nod
something within you thaws slightly at the fact that yeosang remembers your little brotherâs name
you step closer to the edge of the balcony so that you can overlook the garden outside your room a little clearer, resting your hand on the railing as yeosang waits patiently
âwe used to have this game we played. we had a lot of gardenia flowers growing around our courtyard and juwon loved cutting some to make me a mini bouquet,â you pause to shake your head with a chuckle, âit drove our mother nutsâ
âdoesnât sound like it stopped him from continuing though, did it?â yeosang questions with mirth
âno, it didnât,â your heart aches with fondness. âhe would use a certain number of gardenias and make me guess what phrase containing the same number of letters he had in mindâÂ
it never failed to tug your mouth into a smile whenever juwon giggled at your attempts to guess the flower phrase, even when most times he would bound away whilst singing answers like y-o-u s-t-i-n-k or d-u-m-b d-u-m-b
yeosang supports himself on the railing with one hand as he nearly folds in on himself in laughter, and before you know it, you too are gasping for air and wiping away tears from your eyes
when you both calm down relatively enough, only intermittent chuckles leaving your lips, yeosang clears his throat and scratches his neck awkwardly
âi know it might not be much, but maybe we can go out into town tomorrow and it might take your mind off things? and we can bring yeoreum along if that makes you feel more comfortable, because youâve probably spent more time alone with her than you have with me?â
you donât admit it, but youâre already feeling a little better, so you decide to tease, âare you asking me out on a date right now, kang yeosang?â
âoh, well, weâd be doing things a little backwards since weâre already like, marriedâŚbut, yes? maybe? is that okay?â
itâs yeosangâs turn to flush a deep red as his usually composed demeanor is reduced to stutters, but you donât notice under the faint glow cast by the moon now reigning the sky
âyeah, thatâs okayâ
you and yeosang smile fondly as your little trio stroll through a nearby town the following morning, his younger sister skipping ahead to peer at the colourful trinkets being sold at the market stalls, and your own small squad of royal soldiers following behind at a respectful distance
itâs kind of endearing how yeosang points out item after item, asking whether you like it or whether you find it pretty, in a not-so-subtle attempt to learn about your preferences
you have to stop him from buying you something from every second stall you both pass, but youâre unable to convince him from purchasing a small wooden toy as a gift for juwon, insisting that you give it to your little brother the next time you see him
the more you actually interact and talk with yeosang, the harder you find it to associate him with the memory of the yeosang in your rejected letters
because the equation of the letters, the vase and the pastries just does not add up
as you two sit under the awning of a small shop, watching yeoreum play with the shopkeeperâs dog, you find yourself unable to hold back anymore
âwhy didnât you reply to my letters?â you break the silence, trying to hide the hurt laced in your voice
yeosang looks at you with wide eyes as his mouth stutters open
and in the smallest voice you have ever heard him speak with, he says
âyou wrote me letters?â
your eyebrows knit together as your eyes dart back and forth between his, searching for any hint of deception
âtoo many to count,â you confess, âuntil you sent a letter telling me to stopâŚâ
âimpossible. i never got your lettersâÂ
your head recoils back as you try to make sense of his words, âbut-â
âwait,â he interrupts
yeosang reaches into his robes, pulling out a small, wooden block, extending it out closer to you as he asks, âdo you recognise this?â
upon closer inspection, you realise itâs a square seal stamp
it has the character âĺ§â carved into it and youâve seen it enough times to know it represents the kang family name - but the inscription that stylises the border is unfamiliar
ânot the seal, noâ
he swallows apprehensively, âi stamp all my letters with this to certify authenticityâ
you let his words sink in as they throw you into a sandstorm of bewilderment
âbut then-â
but then who wrote the letter?
and where did all your letters go?
the only people who would have known about them would be the royal couriers andâŚeunju
a memory flashes through your mind - the moment she handed you a letter with a smile
no, not a smile, you realise
a smirk
you are simultaneously overwhelmed with betrayal, guilt and apologeticness
yeosang doesnât push you for a response, and you come to recognise that you are also grateful
âiâm sorry for doubting you,â you tell him
itâs nowhere close to the amount of things you want to confess, but it is a start, one that yeosang picks up on and understands immediately
âno, iâm sorry you felt the need to doubt me,â he offers. âthat i didnât make you feel loved enoughâ
âbut i did, actually. the vase and the pastries, then our conversation last nightâŚand even todayâ
he blushes a deep red as you list the things off with your fingers
âyou werenât meant to find out about the first two,â yeosang admits as he ducks his head shyly
then he suddenly perks up with a sudden thought
he ruffles inside his satchel that had been abandoned to one side, mumbling, âmy sister said i did something to upset youâŚso i um, got you theseâÂ
he turns around to reveal a bouquet of flowers, looking a little rough for wear after being hidden in his bag all morning, but his clumsy consideration only serves to makes your heart skip dangerously
âforgive me?â he asks cheekily, and you both giggle at the absurdity of his question because it should very well be the other way around
âif you insist,â you take the bouquet into your hands
and finally, you allow the chains around your heart to fall away, âi canât say no to my husband, can i?â
yeosang lets out a little squeak as you look at the bouquet more clearly, counting the number of flowers
you turn to ask if he remembers the game you told him about, but the way yeosang suddenly finds the patch of dirt near his foot absolutely fascinating tells you everything that you need to know
eight flowers
eight letters
i l-o-v-e y-o-u
#loren writes#ateez fics#ateez smut#ateez x reader#hongjoong x reader#hongjoong smut#hongjoong scenarios#seonghwa x reader#seonghwa scenarios#yunho x reader#yunho scenarios#yeosang x reader#yeosang scenarios#ateez ot8 x reader#ateez fluff#ateez angst#ateez crack#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez headcanons#ateez au#royal ateez#prince ateez#prince!ateez
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okay FINE Iâll write a post about the emperor, if tumblrâs going to give me thirst posts either way I might as well. huge endgame spoilers for bg3
the emperor is a goddamn masterpiece of game design, because heâs YOUR powerful, abusive manipulator. Wyll has Mizora, Shadowheart has Shar, Laeâzel has Vlaakith, etcâ and Tav has the emperor.
They position him as your guardian. They let you design him a face so heâs trustworthy to you. MOST of his advice is⌠technically true. You CAN get power from the tadpoles, the githyanki ARE dangerous, you CAN beat the elder brain without Orpheus.
But itâs all a misdirect. He doesnât care about you. If you do his âromanceâ scene, heâs pulling a nastier version of Astarionâs âI slept with you so youâd protect meâ stunt. He needs you to obey him, to trust him, to see him as an equal.
You learn the fates of his last two âequal partnersââ Ansur, whose death the emperor tries to keep you from discovering by claiming he never existed at all, and Stelmane, who the emperor claims was his friend and business partner right up until you mouth off too much, when he admits she was his thrall, and you arenât because youâre more useful with your wits about you.
Can you really trust his âethicalâ brain harvesting claims, given the other lies and half truths? Whether you think eating criminals is a lesser evil or not, there are cages in his quarters. He had thralls. His âshared memoryâ where he shows himself as a mindflayer in a cloak doesnât account for the record of a glamor in his quarters that kept kitchen staff from noticing human brain meat until leftovers were removed from the room. He was manipulating peopleâs senses when they were around him.
But he CAN help you. He IS on your side. As long as youâre on his side, of course. His own self preservation comes first, and thatâs not inherently terrible, but he will twist whatever he needs to to get you to help him, no matter how much harm it does.
Heâs an incredible character. He fascinates and horrifies me. Heâs perfect for his role and I love how they used mind flayers, how heâs setting you up before you even start the game.
TL;DR: long live Prince Orpheus, asshole
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MARCH 4TH - 10TH NORTH GAZA DONATION DRIVE THROUGH HELPGAZACHILDREN!
Hello everyone, Hussam wanted to help his people in North Gaza who are suffering from a severe famine. Because previously we ran into technical difficulties with Help North Gaza Campaign, he volunteered his SKYVOIP paypal to raise funds and send them to the North via one of our (@/fairuzfan)'s trusted family friends still in the North named Mahmoud. All of the donations from March 4th-10th will be forwarded to the North for food and other supplies.
The situation is so dire to the extent that a 25 Kilogram bag of flour can now cost $300-$600 and some days even more!
As HelpGazaChildren has been ongoing for about a month now, the $75,000 previously raised has been used on helping more than 6,000 people in Rafah camps. This current fundraiser will be starting from the $75,000 mark.
As of writing this post, we are at $76,387, meaning around $1,400 raised! This will only buy about 3-5 bags of flour which is not enough for the hundreds we intend to help! Our goal is to raise at least $25,000 by the end of the week.
Feel free to visit https://helpgazachildren.notion.site/ for more information.
People are literally dying from hunger in the north. Donating today will save lives!! No amount is too little! If you're unable to donate please spread the link around even outside of tumblr. I really appreciate all your help and please know that you're doing a lot by even just sharing this around.
ID: Photograph taken by Mahmoud of demolished buildings in North Gaza.
Note: We will provide pictures and videos of proof of purchase when able.
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being a POC in the Marauders/HP fandom is really interesting to me because it seems and feels like a really predominantly white space, which, hey, nothing new! and that does come with some challenges. for the most part, they're fairly under the radar.
it's things like being able to count the POC in a discord server on one hand, even though there's 100+ people in the community.
it's people not taking into account racial dynamics whether that be in a fic, or in a tiktok, tumblr, whatever. there are innate power imbalances in our society (regardless of what country you live in) and to assume because this fandom is a largely open, liberal and leftist space, that they don't carry over to fandom, is exceptionally naive. buuuuut, we live and learn, so people can and should be given a certain amount of grace. but what is unforgivable is to have them pointed out to you and for you to dismiss, ignore or belittle them. Not only that, but you as a white person, do not get to be the forgiving voice to another white person when they make one of these mistakes. please please please respect and understand that.
there's also (and i'm sorry if this is controversial and frankly it makes me really nervous to even write this), a trend of assigning ethnicities, cultures and races to characters in stories without having a proper understanding of them, or having a particular reason for doing so. I'm never going to sit here and say "you as a white person shouldn't write about ____ race!", because I don't believe that. but what I would really, really love to see, is for white creators and writers to ask themselves some questions beforehand:
what does the race of this character add to the story outside of me chasing clout with a particular group of people/is it necessary for me to be writing the lived experience of a culture/ethnicity I've never taken the time to learn about?
if so, why?
am i the right person to be doing this?
are my actions outside of my writing towards these POC reflective of this?
i also think it's really important to remember that unconscious bias is a thing, and it's really easy for us to spot in your writing if it isn't something you've addressed. Not only that, but even if you write the most well-researched POC in your fic, even if you're sharing posts about Lebanon and Palestine, none of that matters if your actions when interacting with us show us that you are indifferent to the power dynamics at play with you being a white person, often with a large audience, in this space. virtue signalling is spectacularly unhelpful if you're writing checks your ass can't cash.
that being said, I think throwing 'racist' around as a term at people who make mistakes is really unhelpful. because every situation has context and nuance, and dogpiling never helps anybody. there are opportunities for learning, developing and understanding here. but please remember, if a POC tells you something is upsetting, harmful or offensive - even if other POC haven't said that to you - it's not your place as a white person to dismiss that.
anyway, hope that helps, love u very much xo
#on race#on fandom#marauders fandom#marauders#im writing this then running because#i am scared of all of you#but i am saying this in good faith#and hope it can be taken that way#lanas crying again
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How to Tell If That Post of Advice Is AI Bullshit
Right, I wasn't going to write more on this, but every time I block an obvious AI-driven blog, five more clutter up the tags. So this is my current (April 2024) advice on how to spot AI posts passing themselves off as useful writing advice.
No Personality - Look up a long-running writing blog, you'll notice most people try to make their posts engaging and coming from a personal perspective. We do this because we're writers and, well, we want to convey a sense of ourselves to our readers. A lot of AI posts are straight-forward - no sense of an actual person writing them, no variation in tone or text.
No Examples - No attempts to show how pieces of advice would work in a story, or cite a work where you could see it in action. An AI post might tell you to describe a person by highlighting two or three features, and that's great, but it's hard to figure out how that works without an example.
Short, Unhelpful Definitions - A lot of what I've seen amount to two or three-sentence listicles. 'When you want to write foreshadowing, include a hint of what you want foreshadowed in an earlier chapter.' Cool beans, could've figured that out myself.
SEO/AI Prompt Language Included - I've seen way too many posts start with "this post is about..." or "now we will discuss..." or "in this post we will..." in every single blog. This language is meant to catch a search engine or is ChatGPT reframing the prompt question. It's not a natural way of writing a post for the average tumblr user.
Oddly Clinical Language - Right, I'm calling out that post that tried to give advice on writing gay characters that called us "homosexuals" the entire time. That's a generative machine trying to stay within certain parameters, not an actual person who knows that's not a word you'd use unless you were trying to be insulting or dunking on your own gay ass in the funniest way possible.
Too Perfect - Most generative AI does not make mistakes (this is how many a student gets caught trying to use it to cheat). You can find ways to make it sound more natural and have it make mistakes, but that takes time and effort, and neither of those are really a factor in these posts. They also tend to have really polished graphics and use the same format every time.
Maximized Tags (That Are Pointless) - Anyone who uses more than 10 one-word tags is a cop. Okay, fine, I'm joking, but there's a minimal amount of tags that are actually useful when promoting a post. More tags are not going to get a post noticed by the algorithm, there is no algorithm. Not everyone has to use their tags to make snarky comments, but if your tags look like a spambot, I'm gonna assume you're a spambot.
No Reblogs From The Rest of Writblr - I'm always finding new Writblr folks who have been around for awhile, but every real person I've seen reblogs posts from other people. We've all got other stuff to do, I'm writing this blog to help others and so are they, the whole point of tumblr is to pass along something you think is great.
While you'll probably see some variation in the future - as people get wise to obviously generated text, they'll try to make it look less generated - but overall, there's still going to be tells to when something is fake.
I don't have any real advice for what to do about this (other than block those blogs, which is what I do). Like most AI bullshit, I suspect most of these blogs are just another grift, attempting to build large follower counts to leverage or sell something to in the future. They may progress past these tattletale features, but I'm still going to block them when I see them. I don't see any value in writing advice compiled from the work of better writers who put the effort in when I can just go find those writers myself.
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re - your last post, as a writer i find that to be an absurd take. people who write exclusively for validation probably shouldn't. if discovering your work is enjoyed and loved - just privately - is a dealbreaker for you, i think there are probably bigger issues that need to be worked through. the idea that we write fic for free and yet this discussion about "payment" through kudos/comments persists is so backwards and obnoxious.
sorry to tag you on this, obv you have nothing to do with op, but i just wanted to say - as a writer recs are a HUGE deal. to know that you liked something enough to share it with others is the biggest compliment for me personally. thanks for doing what you do.
Iâm happy you reached out because this is a really interesting perspective. I definitely see increased messaging around comments = payment that pressures readers into thinking they are required to leave comments, and I agree that there are many layers to this convo that point out to a not-so-healthy relationship with fandom.
I find it hard to join this discussion not being an author myself, because I only have the privileged perspective. I understand how important feedback can be to boost newcomers and those who donât feel part of the community. We all deal with insecurity in different ways and itâs hard to navigate a big fandom when you donât have a group of friends to rely on. In the end the fandom experience is about a sense of belonging and it saddens me to realize that I might be part of the problem since my recs can only reach Tumblr and my ao3 comments are far and few in between.
Itâs funny because my blog has always targeted other readers: at the beginning I didnât even tag authors and did not expect them to find or engage with my posts. Over the years the recs became more and more personal, until I realized I was writing them for myself. Sure, they are love letters to the fic and might help more people find them, but at the end of the day this is my little therapy corner where I can let go and babble around to my heartâs content đđź Iâve always been proud of this blog and seeing that post gave me mixed feelings about it for the first time, so thank you for your message!
Again, I think this discussion has many layers and Iâm a bit wary to get involved being a reader, but Iâd be curious to see how others feel about itâŚ
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