#Pill Food

[pangur-and-grim]

my heart can't take this......Belphie now dashes ahead of me in the mornings and clambers up to sit on the scale, because he knows that after medicating he gets half a tube of churu

I cannot emphasize enough that he placed himself there.

[gummi-stims]

🪲

[cinnamonest]

gaahhhh imagine gf reader trying to calm delinquent childe and get him to NOT traumatize and scar new boys coming to their school or later when in college when they need to interact with others more by being as nice and sweet as possible and giving him want he wants (attention, pussy and love). And they almost get like this bartering system and it doesn't help when childe slowly gets a hint that she might be trying to protect these guys- in which case, comes the step of trying to placate him again and convince him this is for his sake and not theirs after getting her own ass beaten by him and fucked to the point she thinks of amping the Pill intake or smthng

(Follow-up to this post)

I’ve been thinking about that AU again for a while, hear me out

Because, see, once you become “official,” he somehow gets worse, something you wouldn’t have even thought possible.

Your life doesn't actually change that much, it’s more that his presence just becomes so utterly and completely inescapable. You used to at least be able to retreat to the comfort of home after school, now you don’t even have that — he’s either forcing his way into your house or dragging you back to his, depending on which has the parents gone, so you can do stuff… or if neither works, he’ll drive you off to some of the nearby abandoned, empty parking lots instead.

He's very vocal about what he now perceives as an “official” relationship. Very touchy in public, even in a school setting. His actual behaviors don't change much — he still steals your things and dangles them over your head, startles you with loud noises, taunts you and humiliates you at every opportunity… now he just does it with extra enthusiasm, like it makes him even more excited than it did before. And you like it, he knows you do. And at this point you've given up on getting the cigarette stench out of everything you own — your clothes, your bed, your car, even your hair. Ugh.

But he becomes so very on-edge, far more aggressive than ever before towards the rest of the male student populace. He’s definitely got a major cheating paranoia, like so many young guys, where he’s so ready to jump to that conclusion over everything. You didn’t respond to him for a while, what were you doing? Why are you smiling at your phone, who are you talking to?

Before, he was a source of frustration and anger and misery, but you never really felt scared the way he often makes you feel now. He was mean, a bully, but he was smiley and clearly deriving amusement from it — a contrast to the sudden serious glare and cold, dark tone and expression when he gets mad, when he grabs you so hard you can’t pull away and demands a minute-by-minute play of the day for the duration of time he couldn’t be glued to your side. It takes an alarming amount of reassurance to calm him down.

You do essentially end up bartering with sex. If you’re lucky, and he’s not too upset, you can just distract him from whatever is making him mad with kisses and smiles and a few reassuring words. But in most cases, you’ll at least have to take your clothes off to really appease him and calm him down, and usually have to spend the rest of the day giving him your completely undivided attention. Giving him lots of cuddles and kisses and pussy and head and affection and all that, just for him, to prove you really only care about him, no interruptions. Even answering texts from your friends and family will have him scowling and sulking again. Why are they more important to you than he is? Do you really even care about him at all, when you’re so easily distracted?

And oh, the moment you try and defend some poor boy, have the audacity to try and get him to not hurt someone, it’s over for you. Nothing sets him off faster.

Rather, it comes in stages — he gets mad, hauls you off somewhere alone if you’re in front of people, holds you by the jaw as you struggle and writhe and asks in some mixture of bewilderment and frustration why you’re doing that. Why would you be upset that he’s protecting you? Why are you mad at him for beating them up? Do you care about them? If you don’t like them, why concern yourself with what happens to them?

If you keep reassuring him, he’ll calm down, but if you keep insisting that he can’t be violent, he gets whiny, petulant, grumbly… and most importantly, he just ignores you and does what he wants anyway. Even if it upsets you, it’s not like that's going to stop him. He just blows off anything you say, completely inconsiderate of your feelings on things.

Even then, sometimes, the situation gets bad. Times where you can’t just calm him down, because you did something exceptionally bad — you fell asleep and didn’t answer him for hours, or you very clearly talked to that guy, he knows, he heard the whole thing, or someone told him (at this point, some of the other students have started telling him they saw you talking to someone or hugging some guy or something to set him off for their own amusement).

Those incidents are the worst — late-night explosive episodes where you’re interrogated on why you spoke with someone or the texts on your phone, as you flail and whimper and claw at the hand on your neck while you desperately try to defend yourself. Those are the times where you genuinely start to feel scared. But even then, with enough effort and appeasing and sex, it’s resolvable... though you may end up with some bruises across your body, or in a few cases, your neck and face... you can just both skip school and stay in bed all day until it's gone. Other people would get the wrong idea if they saw it, they wouldn't understand. As long as you comply with what he wants, it's easily resolved.

Until, one day, you cross a line.

You're just so sick of it all, deep into yet another long argument over him really badly hurting some poor kid who did nothing wrong, and in the frustration of the moment, the words come out of your mouth.

You say you’re leaving him. That you want to break up.

You regret your words, of course, the second they leave your mouth. Even before you see the stages of reaction play out on his face — a second or two of blinking in dumbfounded, blank shock, and the way his expression turns dark — you feel your gut twist in panic.

And you try to sputter out some apology, to backtrack, to say you didn’t mean it, but your feet have already left the ground, you’re already flailing and grasping at the hand wrapped around your throat and hoisting you into the air, before you can even get a full sentence out.

You don’t get to do that to me.

His grip gets tighter with those words. It’s quiet and cold — you’re pretty sure it’s the first time you’ve ever heard him speak quietly, for that matter, but you're too preoccupied with panic to reflect on that.

But you don’t mean it. He knows that. You just said something stupid because you wanted to make him mad. You just wanted to get his attention. You’re being manipulative, trying to control him with threats. You’re being a really bad girlfriend.

You don’t mean it. You’re not being serious. You just said it to get a reaction.

Right?

And see, you nod so vigorously, and you even have tears streaming down your face as you choke and gag. You must feel guilty for saying something so mean. Everyone says things they regret in arguments, right? Just the heat of the moment makes people say stupid things. But as long as you feel guilty, he can forgive you.

You crumple forward on shaky legs when you’re dropped down, more of less falling into him, hands grasping at his shirt — how cute, you’re trying to get reassurance now. You stiffen and shiver at the embrace you’re enveloped by, the arms that wrap around your frame.

...You know, you'll need to figure out something for your neck. It’s already starting to bruise, and it’s very clearly marks from fingers wrapped around… you’ll have to cover it up, you wouldn’t want your parents thinking he’s a bad person or anything.

But’s okay. He’s mature enough to forgive you and move on. And so long as you give him more attention and makeup sex all night, he’ll pretend it didn’t happen… for his own sake too. Just never ever ever say something like that again, and he won't hurt you... not too badly, at least.

[cheeseproducts]

time for the spooky season

[tj-crochets]

There's a post about like being in the B plot of a sitcom and the only phrase I remember is "a bird is very here" but today I feel like I was a sitcom B plot Which is a long way to say I just got a new bottle of vitamin D3, opened it, and it smelled like rotting meat???? And when I called the company's customer service number to try to get a refund, there was pushback about me identifying the smell of rotten meat correctly*??? Up until the customer service representative said "each batch can have a distinctive scent based on the source, like when we use lanolin" and I said "lanolin is not listed anywhere on the ingredients of this product" and then I was suddenly good to get a refund So yeah anyone have any recommendations for good vitamin brands? I don't think I want to go back to the rotting meat secret lanolin D3 *with each new person I got passed along to I had to be more specific with my description of the smell to get them to understand I was not misidentifying it. Rotting meat is a very distinctive smell and I was VERY surprised to smell it from a bottle of supplements lol

[payasita]

senshi was right about everything. hes right about it all

(*adhd meds. you gotta make sure youre eating well on these guys)

[curiositysavesthecat]

*This poll was submitted to us and we simply posted it so people could vote and discuss their opinions on the matter. If you’d like for us to ask the internet a question for you, feel free to drop the poll of your choice in our inbox and we’ll post them anonymously (for more info, please check our pinned post).

[hereissomething]

i betcha cant guess what game ive been playing the past few months!!!! and i betcha cant guess who my favorite babygirls are!!!!!

[anarqueeen]

How the fuck do I gain weight when I hate eating. This is bullshit.

[canisalbus]

Hold on- would... would Machete and Vasco be that dynamic of where- one would have so many hair products. so so many. a whole shelf full. and the other just has that fucking 9 in 1 shampoo bottle..... help-

(other than this stupid little blurb of words, I seriously enjoy your works, every single little aspect and line and everything defines it so much. it's so pleasing to the eye and so recognizable, and even just your little sketches and it always is such a treat to see your art <3 all my friends love Canis Albus art)

The most obvious answer would be Machete has the army of hair products and Vasco has the single multipurpose bottle, but in reality I think 1. Vasco also likes to look and smell his best, and 2. Machete's fur does The Thing naturally so he wouldn't need that many.

(Thank you! ;_; That's so nice to hear)

[dykedvonte]

Ty for answering my asks! Recently, I saw some fanart of the gender bendered crew and it got me curios, how much would the plot change if Jimmy was a woman. I mean, she would still be emotionally abusive (esp to Fem!Curly), but at lest, I guess, the crash would've never happened (?)

Also, her relationship w/ Anya: if she was assulted still, it prolly would've been dissmissed, since it's between 2 women. Or, if Anya is male in this scenario, he couldn't really be able to talk abt it, since society decided that "women can't r*pe men", so it's not serious and he should suck it up. Man, it's just sucks to be Anya in any scenario my poor girl 😭

What do you think? If you have an opinion on that at all, that is

-💀

I think the scenario's where the gender was flipped or any level of gender based intersectionality is expanded makes it so much more complex.

If this is the scenario with fem!Jimmy, it comes with the territory of questionable internalized homophobia. Does Jimmy brush it off in this scenario because she doesn't think lesbian encounters are real ones? Is she struggling with her identity and taking it out on Anya who may be openly queer compared a fem!Curly who is either straight or just not interested in Jimmy? Perhaps it's a sort of weird entitled that can occur in female dominated spaces "We're both girls, I know what you have, it won't matter." It's still is something I don't see Jimmy denying in this scenario, he never really denies it in canon just talks around it with Curly. Here I can see it's less about the pregnancy and more so about the internalized homophobia. Not seeing Anya as anything but an unwanted aspect of her femineity and the allure of it, there's a lot more objectification of both Curly and Anya in this alteration as I would believe feels better thinking of them in that light if they are just fodder in her mind. Guilty pleasures that no longer bring her such. It's a careful situation because I don't want this to fall into predatory lesbian stereotyping, Jimmy is just a person who does not respect other people or their choice, if it conflict with what he wants or perceived is owed.

The idea of Curly having to report it and outing her not only as a rapist but queer and the denial, especially in the case Anya and Curly are both out as she feels a sort of resentment she can't be secure with herself that way. If it is masc!Curly, there could be the jealousy of him being able to actively pursue relationships he wants while she feels she can't, Anya and Curly playfully flirt, its casual but it's something she longs for in the same way she doesn't. She obsesses over Curly because she wishes she could be Curly in a social sense in both aspect male or female Curly.

If it's fem!Jimmy and masc!Anya? It's a much more delicate situation. In this scenario Jimmy gets pregnant. Maybe Anya does a blood test after the incident and finds out Jimmy is pregnant. It's a very sensitive matter because if it's fem!Curly her first assumption is Anya may have done something. That is just the immediate assumptions in cases like this. I think the fact that Anya is telling her would make Curly think it's not that simple, especially since Jimmy isn't brining it up or really caring but everyone reacts differently. Jimmy is pregnant however, and that's a big deal, she'll figure that out eventually on her own but how will she react? Curly knows it won't be good, Anya knows too.

I think the crash is instigated in this scenerio by fem!Curly actually doing more, refusing to sweep it under the rug because she can conceptualize that fear, likely she and Jimmy are the only girls on board. She trusts everyone, well did trust everyone, but it's just something you live with. She can't just live with that double standard but I feel like she really doesn't know how to address it. How does she bring it up to superiors without implicating Anya? What does she do with Jimmy, it still feels like she's catering to Jimmy but now the concern is primarily focused on the life this baby will be born into. If it is born at all. I don't think Jimmy would try to kill Anya in this concept but try to spin the narrative it was mutual up until she got pregnant. Curly doesn't really buy it but it's a lot of processing, a lot more he said she said but what Jimmy is saying just doesn't make sense. It gives Jimmy too much time to really settle with the fact she's pregnant and likely can't support a kid nor wants to give birth out in space. Jimmy feeling like she's being othered from the only other woman could also be a factor, maybe even starting into her thinking Curly is behaving like a "pick-me" for siding with a guy over her. The crash is more spiteful in terms of having to protect herself alone, due to Curly not outright supporting her delusions.

It really adds a certain horror to Jimmy's pregnancy hallucinations because after the crash they are about her, her symptoms the sign of showing. She doesn't want the child either and considering what being pregnant can do to your mental/physical state, especially some of the more negative symptoms, I doubt she is handling it well. A lot of Anya's struggles are with the stigmas around male victims. His body reacted so did he want it? He's gonna be a father and courts likely will make him pay or care for the baby even if they take Anya's side, their world is just like that. Would the other's blame him for not doing more, he is a man after all? Should he be considered lucky a woman was that into him? It's eating away at him because not only does he not feel safe, he actively blames himself.

In the case Curly is still a cis guy, its that weird feeling guys often get when talking about male victims of assault. I don't think he'd victim blame but he likely asks or thinks about how it could've happened, why wouldn't Anya just overpower Jimmy? Maybe he couldn't? Maybe Anya didn't have it in him to strike a woman. He wouldn't. Now he thinks of what he would have done if Jimmy did something like that to him. SImilary to my trans!Curly post, he's wondering if it could've been him. It's likely one of the first times in his life he has to think of that type of vulnerability in terms of himself and other men and against likely his girl best friend. I think that arm pat right before Jimmy crashes the ship would really make him feel weird, not like he'd have the time to really dig into those feeling but y'know WERE GONNA CRASH!!!.

In terms of Jimmy and Curly's specific relationship, it just gets messier if they aren't both guys or girls. There's a lot of misogny on Jimmy's side with fem!Curly. He often points out she's a woman captain or makes a point of her being one of the few independent woman in her field and how certain men hate that. It's insidious but Curly doesn't think about or like to cause she likes to believe Jimmy isn't one of those guys. He can be a bit antiquated, maybe a bit of a pig but no ones perfect! Here a lot of his resentment is more gear toward a woman having that power over him as Captain/filling the typical male roles he fails at. He can't stand that she's above him in almost aspect and he likely takes it out on other women. Similarly, fem!Jimmy and cis Curly is just as bad. It's a fact of not knowing if she wants to be him, wants him or wants to destroy him. It's obsession without anything positive. She feels entitled to his space and life and time and he has a hard time setting up boundaries cause, well, Jimmy's a girl, his bestfriend and it comes with all the stigmas around boygirl best friends. To him it's a sort of oppressive doting, he feels wrong telling her not to pick and like he's being controlling. That's how she'd spin it whenever he'd try to make boundaries with her.

They are still just friends but most people can't tell even if they can tell it's not healthy, in both cases. Either way I feel like if they were opposite genders to each other there would a specific infatuation Jimmy would have with Curly that would be less hidden but sort of unaddressed because the idea of Curly rejecting them would make them lash out in a way Curly may just leave for their safety. It's also Jimmy wouldn't want to be with Curly specifically but just want what would consistently provide/available.

If they are both girls, its envy. It's that sort of hate that someone fits the standards you don't, wanting them to be picked second or crack. She likes to get into Curly's head, point out flaws and act like it's just her being helpful. She wants Curly to be a girls girl but only for her. There's a sort of possessiveness like purposely jeopardizing relationships because why would a man come first? That girl hates me and is a pick me, why are you friends with her still, Curly? Like this is silly but think about how Regina George treats Gretchen Wieners and that's effectively how fem!Curly and fem!Jimmy would work but technically Curly has the sway of Regina.

I believe the crash would always happen. Jimmy would try to escape responsibility or really thinking about what they did in any world, any gender. It's about facing the consequences, losing things he refuses to let go of or having to deal with responsibilities he's not ready for. The switching of sex or gender really doesn't change those core aspects.

[everybody-loves-to-eat]

[gummi-stims]

🪲

[toastedstims]

A Pathological Facade by Ghost and Pals stimboard for @archangelofretribution !

💊💗💊|💗💊💗|💊💗💊

[penumbrapodcastincorrectquotes]

Juno: Duh I ate dirt as a child who didn’t. It tasted good.

Nureyev: Juno, my love, that is not a normal childhood experience and this is coming from me

[tj-crochets]

Hey y'all! Another weird question for you: How long do you have to fast for a blood sugar reading to count as a fasting blood sugar measurement? Also, does drinking soda (like, full sugar soda) slowly over the time before the blood test count as not-fasting? Asking because I keep testing* in the fasting blood sugar range when I am pretty sure I am not supposed to. Like, two hours after eating a meal when I've been slowly drinking soda the whole intervening time, or half an hour after drinking a whole full-sugar gatorade *with the home blood sugar test thing, not like doctor's office tests. though I test in the fasting range there too? I do know the word for the tester thing but I am brain fogged at the moment