#Pettis
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chamerionwrites · 6 months ago
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When will someone gently take all the internet food bloggers by the shoulders, look into their eyes, and explain that coconut milk is not a neutral-flavored dairy substitute
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everchased · 10 months ago
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THAT one's goin on the list too now!
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-At the winter solstice -
Zeus:…….
Poseidon: Not. One. Word.
Zeus: I just - how do you get your ass beat by a mortal, with your own weapon and your own storm.
Poseidon: I don’t know??!?!? It’s like he wasn’t a mortal at the time! Like some other force was helping him!
Zeus: Oh Whatever. Are you saying he had some kinda divine intervention from one of us to beat you?
Poseidon: That’s the only explanation!!
Zeus: You can’t honestly….
Hades: Oh yeah, that was me. I gave him a little boost to help him beat you.
Zeus:…..
Poseidon: … Hades, what the fuck.
Hades: Next time, don’t drown 500 mortals on me and Persephone’s date night.
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passerkirbius · 1 year ago
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So, there's a lot of USians around who are very clearly fucking fed up with their political choices this election cycle, and planning to sit it out.
And I get it! What's the point of voting if there's no one to vote for?
The thing is, I'm Australian. In Australia, voting is compulsory. We don't get to sit out our elections, and I'll be real honest with you - we don't exactly get better choices than you lot. So how do you vote if there's no one to vote for? You find someone to vote against. And there's always someone to vote against.
Now, we have the pleasure of preferential voting in Australia - We get to rank every candidate from 1 to X, and I'll tell you, there's something so cathartic about putting the biggest bastard of the lot at the very bottom of your preferences. I understand that USians don't get that option - you get to mark one person, and that's it.
That means that you get one shot, so aim it at the biggest bastard of the lot. The candidate you most utterly detest. Put your vote in the worst possible place for them. Don't even think about who that vote's going towards, that's not the point. Remember, every vote is a vote against someone. Make sure you fuck up that someone's election day!
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hawkpartys · 1 year ago
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POV you made a popular post about insects
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dudedidujust · 5 months ago
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The daily planet runs a front page article calling superman the light of mankind
Cue the batfam launching a counter campaign in support of Signal,  the real Light of Mankind.
It starts as a joke but quickly derails into an all out war.
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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months ago
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Poppy playtime and FNAF kids laugh at their killers
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kabukiaku · 1 month ago
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I think they would be good friends actually. 🖤💜👍
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prlssprfctn · 2 months ago
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Batman and Robin!Jason, who are getting to interrogate some criminal (they need his confession and he just won't budge) for the first time together, and Jason begs Bruce to allow him to be a bad cop. That's like, a total opposite of Dick, who loved being good cop, while B interrogated the hell out of them.
But Jason? Bad Cop? It is... funny.
Jaybin. In these cutest shorts, toothy smirk, and overexcitment?
But Bruce can't say no, so he just nods along, thinking that criminal would probably be too scared of his presence anyway to not confess. Expect, criminal isn't, and Jason is grilling his ass in a surprising manner that makes Gordon whistle in another room.
Criminal: Ha, as if I am going to say anything to a kid. How old are you, ten?
Jaybin, scoffing: Was it how old were you when your daddy threw you on the streets?
Criminal, pausing: W-what. How did you...
Jaybin, casually: Oh, I know everything, buddy. You were always stealing, weren't you? Almost made your daddy lose his job... Eh, you would think that with all these years under your belt, you would at least learn how to be discreet. But, nope, same old disappointment.
Criminal, flaring up protectively: I am discreet! I am very discreet!
Jaybin: Discreet my ass! Your attempt to break into the house was caught within five minutes because your ass forgot to turn the security on! And you left your pliers that you used to break the fence on the roadside! How is that discreet?!
Criminal, hitting his hand against the table: Listen here, you pipsqueak, first of all — how could I know that there is a security?!
Jaybin, rolling his eyes: You didn't even do research. Wonderful.
Criminal, stuttering: A-and, second of all, I threw it away in panic. I left no fingertips, so now what?! Huh?!
Jaybin, disappointingly shaking his head: All of these troubles, and you barely got to steal stuff. That's, like, super lever embarrassing, my dude.
Criminal: IT IS NOT MY FAULT. I GOT DISTRACTED BY A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN LIVING THERE!!!! I WOULD RETURN FOR MORE, YOU LITTLE JACKASS.
Jaybin, blinking: Woah. No surprise, Daddy kicked you out, dude. You are kinda dumb.
Jaybin, returning to his beaming mode: Hey, B, I think, we have a confession!
Batman, flabbergasted: G-good work, chump.
Jaybin: (bashful giglging)
Bruce, in the car: So... How did you know his family history?
Jason, shrugging: Oh, streets talk. Also, that jackass stole food when I was nine. Always wanted to make him pay for that.
Bruce: Aren't you very... revengeful...
Jason: Hehe.
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noka-exe · 4 months ago
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pt 2 | pt 1
Damian finds a way to vent his frustration… feat. his two annoying red older brothers
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vamprisms · 1 year ago
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lesbians enjoy pathetic male characters because we have an instinctive prey drive
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weepingchoir · 3 months ago
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"Link from legend of zelda is ultimate assigned-sex-agnostic genderfuck enby" he is thin and lightskinned that's for sure
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lazylittledragon · 11 months ago
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at the friday panel andrew wincott said raphael and astarion should go on holiday together and i can’t stop thinking about it
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gaywineauntsstuff · 5 months ago
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Broke: Dick has no degrees and dropped out young
Woke: Dick has like 7 fully completed bachelors bc he keeps taking college courses to keep busy/ learn new skills as nightwing and ends up just having a fuck ton of credits. He simply doesn’t tell Bruce to make Bruce sad that none of his kids have graduated college.
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lilislegacy · 5 months ago
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percy: *in olympus after accidentally creating a natural disaster and causing mass destruction*
zeus, glaring at poseidon: well? don’t you have something to say to your dear son, brother?
poseidon: er, right. look perseus, what you did was reckless, destructive, and incredibly melodramatic.
percy: *looks down*
poseidon: however, it was also wrong.
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