#Perfection is the only option
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[Anyone else just imagine the utter chaos of having to deal with Jekyll’s university years? This man has like five degrees… anywho enjoy this midnight brain rot]
Jekyll: *surrounded by textbooks piled up to his chin, papers thrown everywhere, aggressively writing*
Lanyon: *done with his nonsense*
Utterson: Harry… when was the last time you left this room?
Lanyon: He stopped verbally responding to me around midterms. I just leave food at the doorway and hope he hasn’t been decomposing.
Jekyll: *unintelligible grunting*
Lanyon: We best leave him be, the daylight might ruin his circadian rhythm. See you in a week Jekyll!
#Henry totally strikes me as the type to register for 21+ hours per semester#Perfection is the only option#No joke though he completed both medical and law school#jekyll and hyde#Jekyll#Utterson#Lanyon
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thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:
the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)
it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.
"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)
as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.
that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.
#tl;dr the demon is a metaphor about dissociation and trauma and it's doing its job thematically fucking pitch perfectly that way the end#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#dragon age meta#this mission is like ds9 the wire in terms of episodes you really can examine from a thousand different angles#and find something new and soulcrushingly sad every time. exactly my kind of episode in other words#whenever people say there's nothing to him but coffee and spite jokes some small part of me goes 'oh I'm so incredibly sorry!#it must be really hard and so impractical to go through life without being able to read :'( get better soon'#is that very nice of me. perhaps not. is the writing here *perfect*? of course not. but some people are also dedicated to being#wilfully blind (presumably b/c they would have preferred to see something else?? idk man)#lucanis' reaction to taash going 'I'm sorry I'm such a bad crow :'('... he could NEVER do what caterina did with him no matter what#you just can't use him like that. he needs the clean family/enemy/contract distinction or you just break him!!!#caterina literally what are you thinking. every day I ask myself this. (probably 'the only other option that keeps the seat in the family#is illario. so that's right out of course' lmao)#god forbid it happen anytime soon if it should happen b/c there's Stuff that needs working through first lol but he'd be such a soft dad
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Eyy, King Reaper and his beloved Mage Geno designs <3
#new age au#Geno is very tall (tall Geno supremacy <3) and Reaper usually floats so he's just slightly taller than Geno on any normal day <3#if he unties his robe in the back it drags along the floor at the perfect height to feign being very tall-#ohh I have so many thoughts about them :]#Geno's magic manifests as crystals so he wears some on his outfit (and keeps more in his pockets)#the black and purple ones on his belt are meant to be a little reference to Reaper (and Dust. before meeting him he only has a black one-)#Geno also uses a Cane! he's insanely skilled and powerful but on sone days magic fatigue finally catches up to him and he has to use it#the black half-robe was also the only accessory Reaper could convince Geno to adopt from his kingdom- that and the Sandals haha-#(I like to think Error made Geno's scarf-)#and ofc Reaper...#he's been ruling for so long that he lives in comfort rather than appearance because. i mean. no one is going to doubt him at this point#he leaves his ribcage exposed as a show of his confidence in his rule (direct access to his soul basically-) but also because. well.#he thinks he's eye-candy 🙏#and in his kingdom the crown/sign of royalty are those olive branch circlets#he wears his over his hood usually. Geno recieved one when Reaper officially finished courting him. Dust would eventually get one. though#for him it's more the equivalent of a wedding ring since his loyalty lies with Nightmare still and he has little official ruling power in#Reaper's kingdom.#oh! Reaper also wears a littlr band Geno made him once on his ribs. it's a nice red gem that he's vaguely aware is actually a tracking spel#Geno thought he was being subtle about it. he. in fact. was not. but Reaper let him get away with it 🙏#oh!!! last thing#Geno sometimes wears a nice silk wrap over his bad eye that's a nice clean white. it usually depends if he's doing magic or not#because his eye tends to get melty again if he strains during casting. and he's always overdoing it lmao-#anyways yeah#mm lied one more note#Reaper's wings are optional. kinda like a manifestation of his Ecto in a way since he doesn't need them to float#more just sonething to make him more regal or appear more threatening!#now I'm done#my favorite goofballs <3#spot!drawn#my art
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The world if people stopped applying their understanding of "conservatism" and "religion/christianity" through a very modern, deeply American view onto Death Note (a manga from the Early-mid 2000s which is very much set in the cultural and societal context of early-mid 2000s Japan and all that entails):
#death note#fandom wank#i just be ramblin#listen I get it there's christian imagery#it's not bad to go over what that entails and whatnot. fun even#but beyond some potential parallels and symbols you have to understand that this is a japanese story set in japan in the early-mid 2000s#(and later an imagined 'future' from there)#you are not understanding the story if you're placing the characters on a political spectrum of beliefs based on what conservatism looks#like to you#you're superimposing your personal modern experiences and your country's societal/cultural state onto Death Note and it's characters and#calling it 'a reading'#I genuinely don't know how many more times I can endure people acting like Soichiro Yagami and Teru Mikami have the exact same set of#beliefs and religion and standards as a Southern USA republican/ultra conservative super christian#Or hell. People assuming that Light Yagami can't ever be relatable because someone like Light looks to them like a teacher's wet dream of a#perfect student who is always working hard and studying#when the truth is that while Light is the top student in Japan at one point‚ everything he is doing is within the realm of expectation for#'good' Japanese students. Not exceptional or supernatural or beyond dedicated. Good.#This is a manga where the time period and the setting and society at the time are deeply important#And you will never hope to have an understanding by forcing it to conform to what 'normal' society looks like to you#relating to character's experiences can go beyond relating and end up in territory where you're superimposing your experiences onto their#fictional reality and calling it canon#edit (because people put some good tags on this post): even though I was kind of vague about it this also goes for assuming that#christianity is the only possible religion any characters could be into#the options aren't either athiesm or christianity. there are other big religions in Japan#and in the same way Christianity colors American society and experiences even for people who have never practiced‚ so goes the way society#and people's general beliefs are influenced by Japan's major religions#the person in the tags who mentioned Shinto gets a cookie
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this completely reshaped my brain
#panel from hell#bg3#baldur’s gate 3#halsin#halsin romance#you can tell his writers had a few bodice rippers handy when they made this scene#and as an Enthusiast of such things this is perfect for me#i mean everyone and their grandma at this point knows I'm going to romance astarion#but Beefy Bear Man is absolutely getting romanced hard by my druid tav#also can i just say it's really cathartic as a Halsin Liker from day 1 that not only did they listen *and* make him a companion#*and* a romance option#but they gave us THIS scene too??#i would've been happy to just see him again in the city but they went above and beyond#serving me a feast of ambrosia when i expected maybe crumbs#thank you larian <3
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Hornet headcanon!
'Hornet' is not Hornet's true name.
I'm still torn between different reasonings for her having the name either
A- It was given to her as an honorary title, by Queen Vespa, during her training within the hive (or bestowed upon her after having finished her training as a symbol of her accomplishments.)
Or B- She gave the name to herself, after the fall of the kingdom, as a way to separate her current self from her past while still honoring some part of her past. (The part that is easiest for her to look back on.)
As for her birth name my sisters and I have decided on Arachnè. (The name is from a Greek myth, where the protagonist Arachnè challenges Athena to a weaving contest, wins, and is afterwards transformed into a spider.)
#I'm pretty sure it's said somewhere#I might just be making this up but either way I like that idea#That the hive was only recently infected.#And like the mantises they could not be infected against their will but willingly turned to the radiance#because living under a hive mind is what they were used to#and their queen who had been protecting them had died.#Anyway all of this is to say#Hornet did not have any very terrible memories or trauma related to the hive at least for the majority of the time.#Which is why she stuck to a name associated with that aspect of her life.#Also! On a somewhat related note I really enjoy the headcanon that the Pale King's true name is Ozymandias that is perfect I'm keeping that#Hollow knight#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#hollow knight headcanon#Also yes I recognize that there are several flashbacks scenes in my fic where she is referred to as Hornet#Which doesn't align with this headcanon unless we go with option A maybe#But either way idc#I have literally been constantly learning and coming up with new hcs and theories ever since getting into hk#They don't always align#Being in the hk fandom is so fun guys#Wow this is a lot of tags ok I'm done
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#sorry no 'other' option#these are the core shows i've posted about on this blog and im curious what other people think#personally i'm going doafp#because i think the other two shows ended at a good spot#andi mack felt like it was only meant to share a chapter in andi's life and i believe it told that chapter successfully#everything wrapped up nicely and (although i would have loved to see it) a fourth season wasn't necessary imo#jatp ended with some cliffhangers but if you remove some of the more obvious ones (caleb possessing nick in the last minute??)#then i think the show could have been a near perfect single season series#but doafp. sigh#well. you know#doafp#diary of a future president#andi mack#jatp#julie and the phantoms
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aaron forgiving andrew for killing tilda when he has children of his own because he thinks that if she were around he never would’ve let her meet them.
(and if he didn’t want his children near her, or any children near her, that means that he, as a child, should’ve never been near her. and he gets what andrew did bc he would kill to keep these children safe too.)
#aftg#twinyards#aaron minyard#idk man i saw a tiktok and it got to me#this just makes sense to me#i think aaron must’ve felt a lot of self loathing and a lot of love with nowhere for it to go for so long in his life#that when he sees how vulnerable and precious his kids are it CLICKS#and he has somewhere for all that love that should’ve been for her that she never earned to go#and he thanks andrew for doing his best to keep him safe#and he understands eventually why it was the only option#why andrew didn’t trust cops or CPS#bc he had been burned too many times before and ANY amount of pain is too much pain for a child#and he looks at his children with such love and wonder and he doesn’t get how anyone could want to ruin something so perfect#how anything else could be more important than these children#ever#in other news it’s 2am my codine isn’t working and i wanted someone else to feel the pain i’m currently physically in <3
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Matheo giving up knowing that the chemist will just follow him wherever for whatever reason.
(I watched a gif for "no" in ASL and I apologize if I drew it wrong I don't know how I would draw a gesture in still art so uh.... please be lenient ?? I tried)
#potion permit#chemist adam#matheo#reminder that adam is mute and i hc only matheo would know sign language due to his work#like ...... idk man just he gives the perfect vibes for it to#matheo absolutely hating the chemist but the only one that knows what the chemist is saying is so funny to me#like i hate everything you stand for yet i will watch you to know what you are saying to me because its common courtesy but i still hate yo#i played recently and did the 3rd friendship event for matheo finally but now need an item to confess#but omg matheo my beloved ................... i got so sad when he wanted to leave cause he thought he wasnt needed#good on my chemist being sad and angry for me and convincing him to stay#also i just like that the chemist will have so many expressions but no text options for scenes at least so far#like theres a talking emote thing for the chemist but you .... dont actually use it as you say stuff#and i love that for the little chemist im convinced the chemist is mute#truly a silent protag
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a dude in my state got mauled to death by his pitbulls but to be fair he was a back yard breeder
I can't say I have much sympathy for backyard breeders (lmao that autocorrected to backtard breeders which is...fitting) who get mauled, esp if they're breeding pits. bybs are so irresponsible. & I seriously do NOT get the point of breeding pits to begin with. shelters are already bursting at the seams with unwanted bully breeds, most of which will end up euthanized.
#before we adopted opal i rly wanted a samoyed so i was investigating breeders & the gulf between responsible ones & bybs is so massive#its a shame they often get lumped together by the 'adopt dont shop' ppl#good breeders are important for the continuation of rarer breeds & if you want a specific breed theyre your only option#ive legitimately NEVER seen a sammy in a shelter#but im ultimately glad i didnt shell out 3k for a sammy pup bc my brother found opal at a shelter & shes perfect#ive loved every doggy ive ever had but opal is special....idk shes my angel baby i love her SO much#asks
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Just learnt ‘Findis’ is a combination of ‘Finwë’ and ‘Indis’—
they were that sort of sappy parent.
#This is actually hilarious to me hang on imagine it#dude’s first marriage produces an eldeitch horror of untold power that kills his very sensible very talented kind of freaky wife#He remarries straight into some cliche happy family bet they do matching Christmas photos every year and indis does pilates#Like imagine of Jane and Barry called their kin jarry that’s so stupid I can’t even describe#‘Oh look love she’s so cute the perfect combination of you and me WHY DONT WE NAME HER AFTER US LIKE PSYCHOPATHS’#Fucking dying#feanaro would’ve been old enough at this point to lose all faith in his mother in law at this point#That is literally her only documented name the other option is Tolkien literally could not be bothered#ANYWAY#silm shitpost#silm reallyshitpost#silm#silmarillion#the silmarillion#Findis#finwe#the silm fandom#silm fandom#the silm#tolkien#jrr tolkien
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The only double date I want to see between Bucktommy and Eddie and whoever he is dating that time if it's in Chenford style
Meaning Buck and Eddie act like a married couple and it's uncomfortable for everyone else. Show me how Buck and Eddie knows each other every preference while the people they date don't
#911 abc#only double date option I'd accept#if Tommy will be on the show let's use it to show how perfect Eddie and Buck are for each other#evan buckley#eddie diaz#buddie#tommy kinard
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This is for cosplay reasons which blue is the correct blue to you cause I’ve gone to TWO fabric stores and can’t make up my mind on the options.
I need yall to pick for me bc ive been going a lil crazy about this
#ryunosuke naruhodo#dgs#tgaa#ive been looking for that blue green but the only fabric ive found is a light flowy knit and i want something slightly stiffer#you’d think that would be an easy color to find but apparently not#im asking this bc if enough ppl pick the first blue i’ll give in and get that fabric#bc that color has EVERY fabric option i want but ugh it just doesnt look right to me#but if I’m right in wanting the teal/greenish option im gonna check the fabric stores back home#i want it to be perfect arrrghh#vote & rb thanks
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Very cool and not heartbreaking at all for the PJO show to emphasize that Percy is an outsider not only because he's new to the whole demigod thing, but also because he doesn't know the rules of being a traumatized kid with all the daddy/mommy issues possible
#Percy all the time: wait I treated them with kindness and didn't do anything bad#why am I not being treated kindly in return#absolutely everyone else: why on earth would you be entitled to basic human decency?#(and for the kids it's 1000% down to trauma and how they've been raised#so many of the foster kiddos I work with do the same thing#they either have to be so good and perfect (Clarisse and annabeth) that they can't be ignored which works until the parent moves#the goalpost and they're left in the dust with a perfect report card that doesn't get them a second glance#or they have to be so bad that their parents have to intervene (Luke) because#and say it with me folks#bad attention is the same as good attention if it's the only kind you ever get!!#watching this and revisiting TLT specifically has been crazy because they're kids who have been removed from home at their core#that's what our main cast of demigods are#all the year-round kids are removed from home and Percy's ability to go back home and love it just as much as he loves camp is something#that separates him throughout the series#he has a safe place to land during the TLO summer and he's using it and no one else seems to have that#Percy has a stupidly hard life but he has a home base to go to and most of those kids can't even comprehend that as an option#Percy's home is his greatest strength and it'll also forever be something that sets him apart from his peers#I just have thoughts on pjo and foster kids guys#silence emily#percy jackson#pjo tv#I'm arguing this isn't even a spoiler because it's been a running theme. fight me
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So I wrote this next song a few days before my nineteenth birthday. And, um, back then, I was so terrified of change, and I was especially afraid of growing up. And I'd, like, cry at all my birthday parties as a child. Very, very emo.
Now that I'm 21, I don't feel afraid of growing up at all. In fact, I'm really, really looking forward to it. And, um, if I could give any advice to the 18-year-old girl who wrote this song, I'd tell her not to worry so much, and that she has no idea how many magical, magical things are waiting just around the corner for her. So, uh, with that, here's "teenage dream".
- Olivia Rodrigo at the Guts World Tour before playing teenage dream
#i love this speech SOOO SOO MUCH#it's like she took words out of my brain and put them together beautifully#and teenage dream the song that you are#and like yeah i used to hate birthdays too idk it seemed like a ticking clock like time is running out#for what i don't know#but now that im 21 i feel like okay i look forward to 22 and 23 and 25!! how wonderful to be able to live on my own#and have fun with my friends and have a small life that's completely mine!! it's scary like yeah what if things don't work out#what if yeah they all say that it gets better it gets better but what i don't#but idk growing up has given me perspective like even if it won't be perfect it'll still be okay there are not only two#options one happy one sad it's more of a spectrum and life naturally deviates between them no matter who you are#and that's okay!!!! you wouldn't be able to appreciate being happy if you've never known sadness#and tbh all of this is just a part of being human the whole experience and im very grateful for it#okay getting emo at 1 pm because i saw the tour movie but anyway i love liv soooo much#she even accepted a gift cowboy hat from fans that said 'gays for livvie' that's so cute!!!! she's the bestest#olivia rodrigo#teenage dream#guts world tour#guts world tour movie
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wooimbouttamakeanameformyselfere
#so deadpool and wolverine huh#i come before you now to humbly offer my sincere apologies to one channing tatum#for the last ten years i have ragged on him as gambit#i didnt like his movies i didnt think he had the vibes or the physique to pull gambit off#i am here to announce that i was wrong#bc man can he do gambit#the voice was literally perfect#my only gripe is i wish they did his eyes properly#but at the same time i think it was a meta reference to wolverine origins#bc his eyes only changed and were correct when he used his powers#other than that and a bit of a change to his cowl he was perfect#i also need to admit that i was a bit of a doubter about deadpool in general bc i wasnt really into the second one#and was worried about the studio change and that the entire thing would be too meta and jokesy#instead it was a full on love letter to pre mcu marvel and the end credits literally almost made me cry#but the r slur joke really ground it to a halt huh couldve lived without that#coming out of my cage and ive been doing just fine.txt#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool & wolverine#deadpool spoilers#d&w spoilers#marvelous#peace was never an option
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